Dead Inside
by rarmaster
Summary: "Have you ever felt completely Dead Inside? As if suddenly, nothing in the world matters anymore? Like you'd give anything to retrieve what you have lost, to fix what you have done?" - Riku's been put in charge of a Rebellion he didn't mean to start, while Sora's struggling to overcome his darkness and defeat his Shadow. Then a bunch of other things happen. - F t P verse book 4
1. Prologue

The "cover art" for this fic was drawn by the wonderful ssceles on dA, who was so gracious to allow me to use this. THANK YOU AGAIN. Anyway, there's a link to the picture on dA on my profile!

PLEASE NOTE that this is a sequel (book 4 in what looks like a 5-part series actually) but books 1-3 are really short so if you do want to catch up it shouldn't take you too long. You also have the option of plodding ahead without reading them, which I don't mind at all - important facts that you'll need to know are on my profile!  
>(The series also has a FAQ which is linked to on my profile but please note it contains spoilers for Falling to Pieces and later chapters of Dead Inside if you wish to avoid such things.)<p>

**Update Feb 2014: **formatting of this chapter has been changed a little for easier reading. Also added "Parts" to the entire story

**Update Oct 2014: **Clarification/distinction between the term "Disabling" and "Deactivating" has been made - most instances of the term "Disable" have been changed to "Deactivate". ("Deactivate" is the term I was actually initially looking for, in hindsight.) Further info about the distinction between the two can be found in chapter 6.

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><p><strong>Part 0<strong>

_Interlude_

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><p><em>-Roughly three months ago, shortly after leaving Destiny Islands<em>

Riku stepped out into Castle Oblivion. He glanced around. _Of all the places to end up… _he thought. _I really need to start focusing. This is getting ridiculous. _He sighed. _Oh well, it could have been somewhere worse._

"Heavens help me! Is that the great Riku?"

Riku turned, shocked, confused, and… slightly freaked. A Vexen Replica stood, staring at him, mouth wide open in shock. Another Vexen Replica walked in and quickly escorted the gaping Replica out. Yet another Vexen Replica walked in, and gave Riku a slight bow.

"We apologize for Number 6," he said. "He's never been quite… okay…" He tapped his head with a finger, indicating that was what he meant.

Riku just nodded, not quite sure _what_ he had just witnessed. He quickly moved on, opening a door to the next room. As soon as he entered, he stopped dead in his tracks. The room that lay before him was not at all like the Castle Oblivion he was used to. The room was filled with tables and chairs and couches, all white, and many Replicas (mostly of Vexen) sat about, just talking.

"Welcome to the Replica Headquarters," a Vexen Replica said, before walking off.

Riku stood there for a minute, just gaping at the room. Eventually, he stopped, and then started making his way through the room, hoping to find Vexen Replica 19 or 23. Few took notice of him, although those who did started staring. A younger Replica walked past him, and he paused.

"Don't I know you?" he asked.

The Replica paused, turning to look at him. Riku scowled. He really did recognize that face. The Replica had shaggy black hair that fell into his steel blue eyes. After a moment, the Replica laughed, and then pulled something out of his pocket, which he proceeded to give to Riku.

Riku took it, examining it. It was a WINNER stick. He looked at the Replica, who just laughed, before walking off.

"Wait," Riku called, stopping the Replica again. "Do you know where I could find Vexen Replica 19? Or 23?"

"Sure," the Replica laughed. He pointed to a door. "Try through there. I think you'll be able to find someone there."

"Thanks," Riku said, heading in that direction.

The room he entered was completely filled with computers. It was also completely silent, except the sound of some frantic typing and a few computer bleeps. He glanced around, but couldn't locate exactly _which_ computer the typing was coming from.

"Riku," someone said. "You've returned!"

Riku turned, noting a Vexen Replica. He cocked his head to the side.

"23," the Vexen Replica answered, before Riku could even ask.

"Could you… help me?" Riku asked quietly. After getting used to the sudden randomness of Castle Oblivion, everything was coming back to him. All of what had happened, only… a half an hour ago (or less). Sora's terrified face, as he was dragged down into darkness. He swallowed. "I need to find someone."

He explained the situation. 23 suggested that Sora could eventually end up in another world. However, when or where was a complete mystery. After that, 23 informed Riku that some of the Replicas wouldn't mind helping him, if he wanted to start searching the worlds for any sign of Sora.

And so the search began.

As time wore on, and Riku became more aware of how the Replica Program worked, he began to worry. The Organization seemed to depend heavily on the Replicas, and he soon asked:

"Won't someone notice that you guys aren't doing your usual duties or whatever?"

He was quickly assured that: "There are a hundred or so Replicas, no one will notice if a few go missing."

However, a _few_ quickly turned into a _lot._

Within a span of a few days, just from the whispers of what was going on, Riku understood what was happening. He learned about the Restart, and that few of the Replicas actually liked Saix, who was now in charge of the program. He began to wonder; were they helping him to be nice? Or were they just helping him because they didn't want to work for Saix?

The Rebellion soon became more noticeable, and was mentioned much more often. In time, the sides stopped being those for Saix and those against him, and slowly became those for Saix, and those for Riku. Riku was rather apprehensive about this, as he wasn't sure if he really wanted to be the leader of a rebellion. However, he was getting help in his search for Sora (they had yet to find him, but they would eventually), and if Riku _needed_ to take down the Organization, having half of their Replicas on his side would probably be helpful.

But he still had to ask: "_Why _is it that you're choosing to help me over Saix, even though I'm the one who started this mess by killing Vexen in the first place?"

It was 19 who responded. "To put it simply," he explained. "You inspire us. You are, so far, the only Replica who has achieved a full sense of self."

"What about Namine?" Riku couldn't help but ask. He was curious to see what their opinion was of her.

"She was in good hands," was the answer he received. He found himself blushing at that. And, although it didn't actually answer his question, he didn't want to say anything.

Instead, he turned, looking at one of the younger Replicas. It was that one Replica, with all the WINNER sticks. It seemed that that kid had "achieved a full sense of self."

"What about-" he began to ask, but was interrupted.

"The name's Joseph, sir," the Replica said. Riku opened his mouth to continue with his question, but then Joseph answered: "They don't count me because I'm not a true Replica. I'm an experiment. Master Vexen wanted to see what would happen if he combined the Data of more than one person, and thus I was born. I don't know whose Data I've got in me, though I'm pretty sure I've got some of Zexion's." He shrugged. "Anyways, sir, I'm only here because 29 rebelled, and he said he'd watch after me. I do hope that it's okay, and I really wouldn't mind helping you beat Saix up if you ever-"

"That's enough, Joseph," a Vexen Replica said, who Riku gathered to be 29.

Riku raised his eyebrows, and then scratched his head. "Thanks for the help, I guess," he muttered.

_xXx_

_-Present time_

The Rebellion had gotten almost nowhere in the terms of actually… rebelling, however, the search for Sora had become increasingly more important. After three months, Riku was starting to worry. Floating in darkness for three months didn't sound pleasant, and he honestly hoped Sora was avoiding him.

In that time, however, Castle Oblivion had lost all connections to the Organization, and had become completely separate. Well, almost completely separate. There was still one small connection.

Axel.

Riku was, at first, a bit suspicious about Axel. However, Axel claimed that he would do nearly anything to make sure Saix wasn't in charge of the Replica Program any longer, and he seemed pretty intent on sticking to that. Riku eventually decided to just stop worrying about it. He wasn't even all that worried about the Rebellion itself. If he had to go get rid of Saix, so be it, he didn't really understand why he was involved in the first place.

He just needed to find Sora.

That's all he would worry about for now.


	2. Desire for All that is Lost

**Update Feb 2014: **I know this initially said the theme song for this fic is "Not my Time" or whatever but that is actually _very wrong. _Things have changed. A better theme song might be "Life Left to Go" by Safetysuit but really at 200+ chapters it's hard to pick just _one song _that fits. (I just know "Not my Time" _definitely doesn't _fit)

Also important: this story will crossover on occasion with my sister's (forevermagik13's or "magik") KH fic "All the Pieces Lie were they Fell" (AtP) - do not fret, because if you do not wish to read the crossover, you don't have to. Dead Inside functions on it's own without it, though you won't get a reference or two here and there. (Ch62 of the Crossover is slightly important, but you don't have to worry about that until Dead Inside tells you to, which is at like chapter 180 or so)  
>The Crossover-fic is called "Some Things You Just Can't Escape" and is hosted on forevermagik's profile. There is a link to it on my profile.<br>Dead Inside will mention Can't Escape a few times, but, like I said, you **do not **have to read it if you don't want to. None of the information presented in it is absolutely necessary to understand Dead Inside's plot.

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><p>Namine sat quietly on the shores of Destiny Islands, drawing. Kairi sat down next to her. Namine glanced at her, but Kairi said nothing, so she returned to her drawing.<p>

"You must miss him," Kairi said, after a moment.

"Huh?" Namine asked, looking up. She followed Kairi's gaze back to her picture, which was of Riku, and then laughed, "Oh, yeah, a bit." She, however, didn't miss him much. With the connection that stood between them, it barely felt like he was gone. She kept seeing him, granted, only in her dreams and those odd memory-like images that would flash before her eyes (they had only reached meltdown point once, thankfully). And, she hadn't stopped drawing pictures of him.

"Worried?" Kairi asked.

Namine shook her head. "Not really." Although most the pictures she drew were random, there were a few that she assumed were pictures of whatever Riku happened to be seeing/doing at the time (as she had drawn before). She figured, if something bad happened to him, she would know.

Well, she hoped.

She _had_ been drawing a lot of pictures of Castle Oblivion lately, though, and was curious as to why Riku would be there (if he was). She remembered that he had mentioned that he hated (or at least disliked) the place, and couldn't imagine why he would go back there.

"What about you?" she asked, turning to Kairi.

"I miss him, too," she replied.

Namine laughed. "I didn't mean Riku," she said. "I was talking about Sora."

Kairi's smile immediately fell at his name. "Oh…" she muttered, turning away. "Right…"

Namine slowly frowned. "What?" she asked, curious.

Kairi shook her head. "Nothing."

Namine raised an eyebrow. She knew _that_ was a lie. She'd been around Riku long enough to notice something like that. "That's _not_ nothing," she said firmly.

Kairi shrugged. "I don't know…" she whispered. "It's like… a part of me… like I'm angry." She laughed slightly. "But why would I be angry?"

"How much do you remember?" Namine asked quietly.

"What?" Kairi asked.

Namine bit her lip, rethinking that question. "Ask your memories," she rephrased. "What do they tell you?"

"Well…" Kairi swallowed, thinking. "I… the memories are fuzzy. And- It hurts to think about them." She paused, taking a few breaths before continuing. "But… looking at them… I feel… shocked, and scared, and confused. And even… a bit angry, and- and… sad." She looked out at the horizon, a haunted look on her face.

"Is Sora okay?" she asked, sounding close to tears. The way she said his name was rough, as if she hadn't said it in a while. "And when is he coming back? _Will_ he come back?"

"Kairi," Namine replied, doing her best to sound sure. "Sora's okay. You just have to believe in him."

"Hmm?"

"This is going to sound crazy," Namine continued. "But you are his light. If you give up on him, then he'll give up too, and he'll never come back. Kairi, you can't abandon him."

Kairi looked at Namine, wondering why the heck she knew that. Namine just shook her head, as she didn't even really know why herself.

"I won't," Kairi said. "Do you know when he'll come back?"

Namine shook her head. "No… Riku went looking for him, remember?"

"Three months ago," Kairi replied. "Are you sure they're coming back?"

"They will."

Kairi swallowed, noting the look on Namine's face. It was determined, and a bit scared. She knew that look, and understood what Namine was thinking, as she herself had thought that before. Namine said it as if she knew, because that's what she _wanted. _

Because they both knew, Riku wouldn't return home without Sora.

_And… Namine may not want to admit it… _Kairi thought. _But she misses Riku more than just "a bit." She wants him home…_

Namine turned away, returning to her drawing. Kairi sighed, casting her gaze again out to the horizon.

_Sora… _she thought. _Come home… I need you…_

_XXX_

The darkness spat him up, and he landed roughly on his hands and knees. Sora didn't move for awhile, just tried to catch his breath. After a moment, he collapsed, rolling over onto his back, and just laid there, staring up at the clear blue sky.

"I'm free…" he muttered after a moment, the realization slowly hit him. "I'm free, I'm free, I'm free!" It was a shock, and a relief.

And it was short lived.

He shouted, back arching in pain. He rolled over onto his side, curling up into a ball, the pain overwhelming. The darkness shot through him, changing his form to a dark shadow for a split second, before dying down.

He continued gasping for air, unsure of what was going on. He was free, wasn't he? The darkness was gone, right?

But then what was wrong?

"It's still there…" he said, clutching his chest. "There's darkness still inside of me…"

He gasped again, as another wave of pain shot through him. _This isn't fair!_ he thought angrily. _How is there still darkness inside of me? Me and Riku got rid of Ansem for good!_

He closed his eyes, searching inside of him. His heart was still dark, clouded, but empty. All traces of Ansem seemed to be gone. He couldn't sense hide nor hair of Ansem, or any of the darkness he might have left behind.

That didn't mean there wasn't any darkness though. The darkness was still there, and it was wild, and angry. If it had a face, it would be glaring at him.

Sora quickly opened his eyes, stopping himself from actually picturing the darkness with a face. If he did that, he'd be giving it shape, and willing it back to life. He'd just be inviting it back into his heart. But he couldn't let it get a hold of him again.

"I've hurt everyone enough…" Sora muttered. "I can't- I can't do that again."

A tear rolled down his cheek, just thinking about all the pain he had caused.

"I've got to fix this… somehow…"

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><p>the uh... "dark shadow" is pretty much anti-form. I just... can't call it anti-form. *sigh*<p> 


	3. Gone So Long

**Part 1**

_The Rebellion Continues_

or

_Darkness Arises_

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><p>Riku groaned and rubbed his head as he continued to stare at the same blank screen. Apparently, this device was supposed to track Sora. All it was telling him was that Sora didn't exist. "Are you sure this thing works?" he called.<p>

"Of course it does!" said the Vexen Replica who created it (Riku never did catch what his number was), sounding rather offended.

"It's _trying_ to tell me that Sora doesn't exist!"

"Well maybe he doesn't," the Vexen Replica suggested. "Did it ever occur to you that he might be, I don't know, dead?"

"Hey!" Riku snapped. Quite a few of the Replicas around him looked up and sent glares in the direction of the Vexen Replica. "He's not dead!"

"He's been floating in darkness for three months," the Vexen Replica replied. "If he hasn't returned by know, he probably won't any time soon. Just admit it already, your friend is as good as dead."

"Shut up," Riku shouted, glaring. Whatever Number this Vexen Replica was, he was getting annoying, and Riku was starting to get angry. But only because it was true. He turned away. "Sora will come back," he whispered. "He has to."

The Vexen Replica shrugged. "You can't keep running from the truth forever."

"Looks like he won't have to," a voice said. The voice was accompanied with the opening of a dark corridor. Everyone turned. It was a Zexion Replica. Well, the only functioning Zexion Replica, who went by Zexion Alpha. All the other Zexion Replicas had sided with Saix. Zexion Alpha, not liking the idea of working for Saix, simply went through and Deactivated all his counterparts, making him the only Zexion Replica left.

"We've found Sora," Zexion Alpha announced. Just as he said it, the device in Riku's hands started beeping.

"Told you it worked…" the Vexen Replica muttered, walking off.

XXX

Sora sat with his back to a tree. He had only been free from the darkness for… what, ten minutes? He wasn't sure. He was having trouble wrapping his mind around the idea of time again. He sat in the middle of an endless field of grass. It didn't seem like he could go anywhere. He sighed, rubbing his head. What was he going to do? He couldn't go home like this. The darkness may have died down for now, but it would be back.

"Sora!"

He looked up, shocked. It had been awhile since he had heard his name. It had also been awhile since he'd heard any voice but his own. "Riku?" he asked, a bit unsure. It had been awhile since he had _seen_ anyone. He wouldn't be surprised if he was just hallucinating all this.

Riku knelt down next to him. "Yeah, it's me, who do you expect?"

Sora just stared. He couldn't believe it. Riku was here. He slowly reached out, grabbing Riku by the shoulder. His hand didn't pass through or anything. "You're real…" he said slowly, starting to smile.

Riku raised an eyebrow. "Yeah…" he replied, confused. Though, technically, he wasn't real, however Sora didn't look like he was in the mood to hear that. Sora didn't even look relatively okay. He looked dazed. "Did you think I was a hallucination or something?" Riku asked.

Sora shrugged, pulling his hand away.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked.

Sora didn't say anything for a moment. He just continued to stare. "I- I think…" he said finally.

Riku frowned. "What happened to you? Ansem dragged you back into darkness, and-"

Sora gasped, clutching his chest. He had forgotten about that. Maybe Ansem really wasn't gone. He closed his eyes, searching his heart frantically this time. Ansem could be hiding anywhere. But still, he was nowhere to be found. There was nothing but darkness that he was pretty sure was his own. He opened his eyes again.

"Ansem's gone," Sora said.

"How can you tell?"

"I think I'd be able to tell if there was someone else still lurking in my heart, Riku," Sora snapped. He winced, a wave of pain going through him at that. The darkness in him rose up, finding something to anchor on. Sora quickly fought to push it back down. "Won't… give…" he muttered.

"What's wrong?" Riku asked.

"The darkness… it's still there. My darkness… it's still-" Sora shook his head. He didn't know how to explain it. "I guess… I guess it's still got a hold of me. Well, it's still inside of me… I don't-"

"You don't have to explain it," Riku said quickly.

"Good," Sora muttered, letting out a sigh of relief. "I don't want to think that it's got a hold on me, because then I'd just be asking it to… Sorry about snapping at you, by the way."

"It's fine," Riku replied. "C'mon, do you think you can walk?"

Sora nodded, standing up. Riku got to his feet, opening up a dark corridor. Sora eyed the corridor with discomfort.

"What?" Riku asked.

"I don't know if I want to be using those," Sora replied quietly. "I think there was a reason I wasn't able to form them in the first place. Using them might… tempt the darkness inside me."

Riku started to get the feeling that Sora was a bit paranoid. "Well, what else are we supposed to do? I don't have any other means of transport." He was a tad annoyed, but was doing his best not to show it.

"Well, where are we headed?"

_Not home… _Riku thought bitterly. He hadn't actually been intending on going there first, but it was out of the question now even if he had wanted to. "Castle Oblivion," he said. "I figured that would be a good first place to stop."

Sora scratched his head. "Is there anyone there you could ask for-"

"Other means of transport?" Riku finished, now really starting to get annoyed. "I suppose, if you really must. But I really rather not leave you. I've spent long enough trying to _find _you. Come on, Sora, it won't do much harm just once."

"My darkness is waiting for _any_ reason to get a hold of me again!" Sora said. "You're going to have to leave me."

"I'm not leaving you!"

"I'm not gonna go anywhere," Sora muttered.

"I'm not taking any chances," Riku replied firmly.

Sora frowned. "How long have you been trying to find me?" he asked quietly. It didn't feel like he had been gone that long, and he was assuming it had only a been a few weeks, tops. But the way Riku was acting now was starting to make him think otherwise. There was no way Riku would be _this_ annoyed only after a few weeks.

"Sora," Riku said, also a bit confused. "It's been _three months._"

"W- what?" Sora whispered. "It's been- that's-" He swallowed. It certainly hadn't felt like three months. "I've been floating in darkness three months?" _No wonder Riku's so tense…_ he thought.

"I guess," Riku muttered.

"Wow, that's-" Sora swallowed. "That's a long time…" he muttered.

Riku nodded, and then sighed. "Look, if you really don't want to use a corridor," he said. "Castle Oblivion's actually somewhere over there," he pointed off in the distance. "If you would rather walk to it…"

"Do you mind?" Sora asked.

"I suppose not," Riku replied, rolling his eyes.

"Thanks," Sora laughed.

"Thank me later," Riku called as he started walking. "We have a long way to go."


	4. Intense Situation

They had been walking for a while.

"You want to go home, don't you?" Sora whispered, looking at Riku.

Riku shrugged. "Yeah," he replied. "Don't you?"

Sora shook his head. "Not like this. I've gotta fix the problem with my darkness first. Kairi can't see me like this." He stopped, letting out a small groan. After all he had said and done-

"I suppose that's true," Riku said, pulling him out of his thoughts. "But what do you plan on doing?"

Sora took a second to think about that. He had no idea what he was going to do. He just knew he had to figure out how to control his darkness. He had no idea _how_ he was going to do that. "Umm…"

"You don't know, do you?" Riku asked.

"No…" Sora replied slowly. Riku raised his eyebrows, and Sora just shrugged, thinking about it more. Eventually, he came to the conclusion: "I need strength… and not the strength the darkness gave me. I need something stronger than that. I need to _be_ stronger than that. And then the darkness can't overtake me."

"And where do you plan on finding this strength?"

Sora sighed. "I don't know…" he whispered.

Riku rolled his eyes. "Of course you don't," he muttered under his breath.

"Hey!" Sora said, glaring at Riku. Riku just laughed. Sora continued to glare. "Well, what do _you_ suggest I do?"

"You're asking _me?_"

Sora nodded.

Riku shrugged. "I don't know!"

_Of course…_ Sora thought bitterly. He frowned. _No, I can't think that…_ _It's not like I was expecting him to know. I'm getting mad at him over nothing. I-_

Sora stopped suddenly, and Riku turned. "Sora?" he asked, worry creeping into his tone. Sora was on his knees, clutching his head in pain.

_I'm not mad at Riku!_ Sora told himself frantically. _I'm not-_

The darkness was attacking him in waves, quickly attempting to get a hold of him while he was down. Sora was doing his best to fight it, but he was growing tired.

"Sora!" Riku shouted, watching in horror.

"I won't give in!" Sora cried desperately. "I won't fall to the darkness again. I won't- I won't…" His words slowly fell to a moan of pain, which quickly rose to a blood curdling scream of terror. He flashed into dark mode and back out of it, collapsing to the ground as he did so. He continued screaming and writhing in pain. His form flickered again, changing to a dark shadow, and then flickered back to normal.

Riku continued watching in horror, unsure of what to do. He couldn't just let Sora hurt like this.

_But… what can I do?_

He bit his lip, and then reached out to open a dark corridor. The most sensible thought to him at the moment was to get Sora to Castle Oblivion. But… using a dark corridor probably wouldn't help Sora at all.

_Speed's more important…_ he decided, just opening a corridor. He then grabbed Sora's arm, placing it around his shoulder. It wasn't easy, as Sora continued to writhe in pain, and his screams weren't growing any quieter.

"C'mon," Riku said, and then proceeded to drag Sora through the corridor. "Hang in there."

The moment they had gone halfway through the corridor, Sora went silent. Riku winced, suddenly regretting this idea. However, it was pointless to turn back now, they were already halfway there.

"Sorry," Riku muttered.

XXX

"Great, you found him."

Riku turned. It had been Axel who had spoken. Axel was leaning against a nearby wall, staring at some spot on the floor a few feet in front of him.

"Now what?" Axel asked.

Riku frowned. He never talked to Axel often. There was always a Replica (usually Joseph, for some reason) who passed messages between them. He never understood _why_, but he never cared. So, he was rather curious as to why Axel even cared about this. So, he asked: "Why do you care?"

"Just trying to help you, sheesh," Axel laughed.

"What?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "Now that your friend Sora's around, the Organization will stop at nothing to turn him into a Heartless. And, from the looks of things, they may not have much trouble doing so."

Riku slowly scowled. "What are you talking about? Why would the Organization want to turn Sora into a Heartless?"

"Simple," Axel replied, taking a few steps away from the wall. "They get his Nobody."

"And why would they want that?" Riku asked, still not getting it.

Axel looked at Riku in disbelief. "Man, you're slow!" he said. Riku's scowl darkened. "It's your friend's Keyblade they're after," Axel explained. "Every Heartless slain with the Keyblade releases a captive heart. _That's_ what the Organization really wants."

"What for?"

"I'm not telling!" Axel laughed. Riku glared. Of course.

"Then why did you tell me the rest of that?" he asked slowly.

"Look, just keep an eye on your friend," Axel said, walking past Riku. He opened a dark corridor, and started to step through, but then paused. "Oh, by the way," he called over his shoulder. "Saix _finally_ realized what a stupid idea killing Roxas wasI wouldn't be surprised if he tries to get back into Castle Oblivion sometime soon. He'll need the Replica Program."

Riku nodded. _That_, at least, he understood. Axel, having said enough, left.

XXX

Sora slowly sat up, rubbing his head. His first thought was: _Where am I…?_ He glanced around, not recognizing anything. His next thought was: _How did I… get here…?_

He began to panic. He couldn't remember… anything. Well, that was a lie. He could remember fuzzy glimpses from his childhood, and as he thought about it more, things that had happened roughly four months ago, like time on the Islands with Kairi, Riku, and Namine. However, there was a large portion of his memory that was just… blank. He remembered being on the Islands, and then… something happened. Something that he felt absolutely terrible about. He remembered being scared… and hurting… and then… nothing.

"Would you like some ice cream?"

Sora turned, and found a boy sitting next to him, holding out a popsicle.

"I'm Joseph, by the way."

Sora nodded, and slowly took the ice cream. He didn't eat it though. "Where… am I?" he asked slowly.

"You're in Castle Oblivion," Joseph replied.

"And… how did I get here?"

Joseph laughed a bit. "Riku brought you, don't you remember?"

Sora shook his head. "I don't… remember… anything, really," he said. "I remember being on the Islands and then-" he shrugged. "Nothing."

Joseph frowned, taking a bite of his ice cream.

Sora slowly took a bite of his ice cream, too, and then frowned. "What is this?" he asked.

"Sea salt," Joseph replied with a grin.

"Huh…" Sora muttered, slowly proceeding to eat the rest.

XXX

"Master Riku," 29 said, walking up.

Riku frowned. He didn't really like the title "master" however, the Replicas refused to stop calling him that, even though he had asked them to stop countless times. "Yeah?" he asked, looking up from his conversation with Zexion Alpha. They hadn't really been talking about anything interesting, just discussing possible things Saix might do to get into Castle Oblivion.

"Sora's awake," 29 began.

"Great!" Riku said, but the look on 29's face stopped his excitement. He swallowed. "What's wrong?" he asked, voice quiet.

"It seems Sora's got a case of amnesia," 29 explained. Zexion Alpha looked up at that.

"Really?" he asked. "How intriguing…"

Riku frowned, turning away. "So… he doesn't remember?" he muttered, mainly to himself. He turned back to 29. "Do you know how much he doesn't remember?"

"Not exactly," 29 replied. "It seems there is a portion of his memory that has been wiped clean, leaving it completely blank. We estimate that this portion of blank memory covers the time span of roughly four months."

"Four months…?" Riku said slowly. "That's-" He rubbed his head. Four months ago, they were all still on the islands, before everything went wrong. "That's _everything_! How can he not remember all that?"

"Well, there has been a theory I've been tossing around," Zexion Alpha said. "That sometimes, memories are forgotten, because they are too painful to remember. Maybe, he forgot because he didn't want to remember. You can force yourself to forget a lot of things, if you try hard enough."

Riku thought about it, realizing just how true it was. He himself didn't remember much from what his past (those days before he began to live in this universe). He only remembered what he wanted to, and a few memories that were just _impossible_ to forget.

"Whatever the case, it would probably be best if you speak with him," 29 said.

"Right," Riku muttered, nodding. "I'll go do that."

XXX

The Reports of Zexion Alpha

I am rather intrigued by Sora's sudden lack of memory. This will be interesting to study, however long it lasts. He will be interesting to watch, no matter what. Sora, and his strong resistance to the darkness, no matter how much it hurts him. I question his logic, but obviously he has good reason. Maybe I do not understand the workings of the heart as well as I thought I did. Though, considering I was created from someone who lacked a heart in the first place, I shouldn't be surprised.

However, I am pleased to see that my theory is proving to be correct. The mind can overpower a lot more than you would assume. I wouldn't be surprised if the only reason Sora is having this sudden lapse of memory is because he doesn't want to remember. Though, his darkness might be meddling with him. I'm sure floating in darkness for three months can't be good for anyone's mind.

I do think that he's only just forgotten because he doesn't want to remember, though.

The same thing seems to have happened to Sora and Riku's friend, Kairi, too. She seems to have forgotten as much as Sora has. Her case appears to be different, however. I haven't studied it much, but it appears that she has forgotten because the memories are too painful for her to keep. She's trying to remember, but she still can't.

The mind is such a stubborn thing. It will refuse to remember no matter how much the heart wants to.


	5. What Happened?

Sorry for the confusion, however, the Stranger is NOT Zexion Alpha. The Stranger's an OC of mine, who's name is Edd. I just needed some person to write more secret reports, and considering I've killed poor Edd three times already, having him write more reports just... didn't make sense in my head.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Sora!" Riku called, entering the room. "It's good to see you awake! How are you feeling?"<p>

"Like I'm missing something really important," Sora replied bitterly.

Riku bit his lip, resisting the urge to say something along the lines of 'no duh!' He figured that Sora would just get mad at him for that. And, he didn't want to make Sora mad. Whether Sora remembered or not, his darkness was still around. And Riku knew that Sora's darkness was probably still looking for _anything_ to give it the upper hand. Making Sora mad would just tempt that risk.

Sora sighed. "Other than that, I'm fine!" he laughed.

Riku let out a small sigh of relief, smiling slightly at that. "That's good," he said. "I mean, besides the not remembering and all."

Sora laughed, and then turned to Riku. He paused, eyes slowly forming a glare. Anger bubbled up inside of him. He quickly shook his head, pushing that way.

_Why am I angry? _he wondered. _Did something… happen?_

"Riku…" he asked slowly. "What happened? What am I missing?"

Riku grimaced. How could he explain _that_? "I-I don't think I can tell you," he said quietly.

"Why not!" Sora asked sharply.

"If I told you- you'd," Riku paused, trying to find the right words. He couldn't just tell Sora that he'd freak out. Sora would probably get angry about that. He was still trying to avoid making Sora mad at all cost.

"I'd what?" Sora asked. Riku swallowed, noting the anger in Sora's voice.

Riku sighed. "Remember forever ago, when I was remembering things?"

Sora frowned. Riku was referring to the time shortly after his arrival on the Islands, when he had spent weeks painfully remembering his past. "Yeah…?" he replied slowly, almost scared to hear what Riku would say next.

"I'm not putting you through that," Riku muttered.

"What if my memory works different than yours?" Sora asked.

Riku paused, thinking about that. Considering he was a Replica and Sora was just… normal, their memory _could_ work differently. However…

"I'm not risking it," he told Sora firmly.

_Not risking what?_ Sora wondered. He knew that the remembering process for Riku had been painful because the things he had to remember were painful. If Riku was worried that it would be the same for him…

_Then, what happened? How… painful was it?_

"Master Riku?" a Vexen Replica asked from the doorway.

Riku frowned. "Yeah?" he asked, turning to the Replica.

Sora watched with curiosity. He still hadn't been able to catch the difference between all the Vexen Replicas, and honestly didn't hope to. He knew, however, that they were basically in charge of Castle Oblivion. It was one of the things Joseph explained when Sora further inquired as to where they were.

He wasn't quite sure what the Vexen Replica and Riku were talking about, but whatever it was, it seemed urgent. He watched as they argued for a second, in hushed voices, wondering what was going on. After a minute, the Vexen Replica nodded and walked off. Riku sighed, and then turned back to Sora, rubbing his head.

"Hey, I've got to go take care of something," Riku said, not sounding like he wanted to at all.

"Alright," Sora said.

"I'll… see you around," Riku muttered, quickly leaving the room to go deal with whatever needed to be dealt with.

Sora sighed once Riku was gone.

"How long will it take to remember?" he wondered aloud. The more he thought about it, the less he felt like actually _wanted_ to remember.

"I've got to remember," he told himself. "Whatever happened was… was huge. There's no way I can just stay clueless."

XXX

"How long do you think the amnesia will last?" Riku asked the Vexen Replica who had been sent to fetch him.

"Sir, please, there are more important things at hand," the Vexen Replica said.

"Alpha can wait a minute," Riku muttered.

The Vexen Replica sighed. "Maybe a couple weeks. It might be possible that we could trigger the remembering process sooner. I couldn't imagine what would trigger it though."

_I could,_ Riku thought to himself, but didn't say anything.

Zexion Alpha caught up to them at that point. "We could always tempt the darkness in him," he suggested. "I'm certain _that_ would trigger something."

Riku quickly shook his head. "We're not trying that. I don't want to be responsible if he falls into darkness again."

Zexion Alpha nodded. "I understand. It is possible that his darkness could be causing the lack of memory in the first place, so tempting it wouldn't be a good idea. We must keep an eye out on his darkness though anyways. It could cause him to remember only what it wants him to-"

"Making him an easier target if it tries to take control," the Vexen Replica said. "The best approach is, it seems, not to meddle and let him remember at his own pace."

"But could we keep his darkness from meddling?" Riku asked, suddenly a bit worried.

"We could try, sir," the Vexen Replica said. "I can take charge of that myself, if you wish."

Riku paused. "What number are you?" he asked.

"I am number 2, sir," the Vexen Replica replied. Riku raised his eyebrows. It wasn't often he heard a number that small. The Vexen Replicas with lower numbers were the ones least loyal to Saix due to their extreme loyalty to the original Vexen. However, quite a few had come to hate Riku for destroying their Master and had either just gone rogue, or joined Saix's side out of spite.

"Thank you," Riku said.

Number 2 nodded, and then was off.

"Come," Zexion Alpha said. "I need to show you something."

Riku rolled his eyes. He _knew _that. What he was going to be shown, however, he didn't know. Zexion Alpha refused to talk about it until they were out of earshot of ANY possible eavesdroppers. Finally, when he was satisfied that no one could possibly be listening, Zexion Alpha began to talk.

"Remember the other day, when you inquired about the Deactivation process?" Alpha asked.

"Yeah," Riku replied slowly. So _that_ was what this was about. "Quick question though; why did you wait to start talking until you made sure no one was listening?"

Alpha turned to look at him, seeming a bit surprised. After a moment he sighed. "Most of the Replicas would rather avoid mentioning this subject whenever possible."

Riku swallowed. He had learned by now, that if a subject wasn't mentioned, there was always good reason. He knew that the Deactivation process was unpleasant, but he didn't know it was unpleasant enough to avoid mentioning. "Why?" he asked, voice quiet.

"You'll find out soon enough," Alpha said, walking a bit faster.


	6. Unpleasant

**Edit Oct 2014: **Due to changing most instances of the term "disable" to the term "deactivate", this chapter had to be tweaked quite a bit to solidify the differences between the two.

* * *

><p>"You'll find out soon enough," Alpha said, walking a bit faster.<p>

He stopped in front of a door, and withdrew a key from his pocket. "Deactivation," Zexion Alpha began, trying to unlock the door. The lock was being stubborn. "Is basically just the nice way of killing a Replica." The lock clicked, and the door swung open.

The room was completely empty save for one desk, upon which sat a rather old looking computer and a large stack of books. However, Riku soon realized there was more in the room than just the desk. Sitting slumped against the wall was a seemingly unconscious Zexion Replica.

"First one I had to Deactivate," Alpha explained. He shook his head sadly. "It's a shame, Delta and I used to be good friends before Saix took charge." He turned away, quickly firing up the computer. "When a Replica is Deactivated, all their basic functions are stopped, so they are no longer able to operate."

"Basic functions?" Riku asked.

Alpha was frantically typing something into his computer. "Simple things," he replied with a wave of his hand. "Like breathing."

Riku glanced over at the deactivated Delta. "So you killed him?"

"No…" Alpha said slowly. "I Deactivated him. There's a difference. You can't bring back something that's dead. However, a Deactivated Replica can be reactivated. It's rarely done, of course, but it's possible. "

"Right."

"The process, of course, should not be confused with Disabling," Alpha continued. "Disabling temporarily shuts off a Replica's functions so their Data can be safely edited—_temporarily _being the keyword there. A Disabled Replica's functions will return online within an hour so long as their Data is not currently being edited or processed."

"Ah." Riku swallowed. "That... that makes sense." His eyes darted over to Delta again. He hadn't quite gotten over the fact that Alpha had basically killed one of his friends. He was also wondering _why_ he wasn't over it. Normally, this sort of thing didn't bother him. But… it _did_ bother him. A lot.

"How does the process work?" he asked after a moment.

"Watch," Alpha said, pulling up a program on the computer. Riku glanced over his shoulder. A very long list flickered onto the screen. "This is the Replica Archive," Alpha explained, gesturing at the program "Every Replica that was ever cataloged is in here."

Riku examined the list closer. Each Replica was listed with a number, name, and their current status. Most Replicas were 'active', but Riku did notice quite a few that had been 'deactivated', others had been 'eliminated', a few were labeled 'rogue', and there was one that was labeled 'failed'.

"You see, if I wanted to Deactivate a Replica," Alpha said, scrolling down the list. "I would simply do something like this." He clicked on a few things, and then at last came to a page that was completely filled with letters and numbers.

"What's that?" Riku asked.

"Code," Alpha replied simply. "What all Replicas are made of. Some call it _Data. _Or use the two interchangeably."

"Huh," Riku muttered. "So you can edit it however you like?"

"Theoretically, yes, but Editing Data is more complicated than just entering a few keystrokes." Alpha sounded distracted as he spoke, his eyes searching the screen. After a second he inputted a few commands, and then a message box appeared on the screen. It asked if Alpha wished to Deactivate the Replica. When Alpha clicked _yes, _it asked for a password, and Alpha sighed, gesturing at the screen.

"A password is required, of course," he explained. "But Saix has changed it to something I no longer know."

"Wait…" Riku said slowly. "You can Deactivate a Replica with just a clicks and a password?"

Alpha shrugged. "Yes, and I've heard rumors that Saix is working on making it easier."

"_Easier?_"

Alpha nodded. "Apparently, he can Deactivate a Replica with just a snap of his fingers. Or, he's working on making the process as simple as that, at least."

"What does that mean for us?" Riku asked.

Alpha frowned. "Us?" he asked. "_You're_ not in our archives. You can't be Deactivated if you haven't been cataloged."

"What about Namine?"

Alpha raised his eyebrows, thinking about it. "I don't think she's been cataloged either. If memory serves, Vexen was destroyed before he could catalog her, and she hasn't been in Castle Oblivion since. I couldn't imagine that there's a possibility that she has been cataloged."

"Can you check?"

Alpha shrugged, and then proceeded to check. After a moment of searching, the computer came up with nothing. "She hasn't been, then," Alpha muttered.

Riku let out a small sigh of relief. "Anyway," he said, clearing his throat. "As I was asking, if Saix is working on making the Deactivation Process _that _easy," he emphasized his "that" with a snap of his fingers. "Won't that be a problem for the Rebellion?"

"I think not," Alpha replied. "If Saix _does_ make the process that easy, he's bypassing all the basic protocol that would be necessary for the process to remain efficient. While, yes, he'd be making it simpler and quicker, he's eliminating the possibility for Distance-Deactivation. He'd make it so he's only able to Deactivate Replicas that are in close proximity to him."

Riku frowned, taking a second to make sense of that. "So it's going to be _better_ for the Rebellion?"

"I wouldn't say _better,_ but perhaps not as horrible as it would seem..." Alpha said, slowly.

XXX

_He wandered through the endless darkness, just trying to find something. He was sick of being alone in this emptiness._

"_How long have I even been here?" he wondered. "It feels like ages, and yet… like no time has passed at all."_

"_Such as time always passes, here, in the Realm of Darkness."_

_Sora looked up, and scowled. It was Ansem who had spoken. "You again?" he asked. "I thought I got rid of you."_

"_You can never escape me!" Ansem declared._

"_Yeah right," Sora said, and then summoned his blade. Or, attempted to. It didn't come to his call. "Ah, nuts!" he muttered, glancing at his empty hand. He turned to glare at Ansem. "Just leave me alone," he snarled, and then turned and walked off._

_He had only been walking for a bit before he stopped. "I said stop following me!" he snapped over his shoulder._

"_But I can help you," Ansem replied._

"_I'm not falling for that one again," Sora muttered tersely, as he continued walking._

"_You cannot survive in a darkness this deep!" Ansem called after him. "You will eventually fade! I can lend you strength-"_

"_No!" Sora shouted. "I'd rather fade into darkness than submit to you again!" He pulled out his old wooden sword. Feeble weapon it may be, it was better than having no weapon at all. He rushed forward, striking at Ansem. It did him no good, though it did make him feel a bit better._

"_You'd rather fight me!" Ansem laughed, probably only because Sora was fighting with a wooden sword._

"_Yeah," Sora shrugged. "I'll fight you until I fade, if I must. There's no chance I'm giving in!"_

_Ansem just laughed harder. "Foolish boy," he said. "You won't be able to fight for long. Sooner or later, you'll submit."_

"_Will not!" Sora declared, readying sword. To his slight surprise, in a sudden flash of blinding light, the wooden sword changed to his Keyblade. He grinned and then charged, dealing a heavy blow._

_Ansem staggered back, shocked. "Impossible!" he gasped._

"_Go fade back into darkness," Sora laughed, watching as Ansem began to do just that._

"_I can't fade!" Ansem cried, and then was gone._

_Sora let out a sigh of relief, and his Keyblade disappeared. "Ansem's gone," he muttered. "Now how do I get out of here?"_

_He glanced up, noticing a faint light in the distance._

"_What's that?" he wondered, taking a step forward-_

Sora woke up in shock and immediately clutched his head in pain. After a moment, the dream faded, and the pain subsided, leaving Sora clueless again.

_What was that?_ he wondered. _Did I just remember something?_

If he had, he definitely didn't understand it.

_It obviously wasn't something important then…_ he concluded, before rolling over and attempting to go back to sleep.


	7. Haunting Memories

Random poll! okay, not really a poll, but I need a world featured in Kingdom Hearts (you'll see why later) and I can't decide which one to use. So, I figured I'd ask you guys! However, I've already decided I can't use Hollow Bastion, The World that Never Was, Twilight Town, Atlantica, or Destiny Islands (some of those for obvious reasons)

please give me your imput! thanks :D

* * *

><p>About a week had passed, and Sora had yet to remember anything. Though, no one had really been trying hard to jog his memory. Riku was the only one who really <em>could<em>, and everything he tried wouldn't work. The only thing he hadn't tried (besides flat out telling Sora) was picking a fight with Sora, but he didn't really want to do that.

Sora had been trying his best to remember, but nothing was really working. Every time he managed to pull up a memory he was distracted by a sudden pain that shot through him and the memory faded before he could think about it.

_Man, _he thought to himself, _I almost miss those days back on the Islands, when me and Riku did nothing but compete all day. Things will never be the same, I guess, considering whatever happened. _He laughed, pulling out his old wooden sword. _It's not like I remember-_

He paused, noticing something on the sword. He turned it over, and the gasped.

There was a bloodstain, on his sword.

"What?" he asked.

_Riku gasped and stumbled back in pain. His hand flew to his shoulder and he clutched his hand over the wound. He fell to his knees. Sora paused, staring in shock. What had he just done?_

"_Sora!" Riku shouted, glancing up in shock. There were traces of fear on his face._

_But Sora was focused on something else._

_Blood._

_Riku's blood._

"_I-I'm sorry, I-" Sora stammered._

Sora gasped, dropping the sword and clutching his head as the memories came flooding back to him.

_The islands were falling apart. He was taking almost no notice._

"_Come with me, Riku," he said, voice quieter than before. Darkness started to seep up from the cracks beneath his feet, snaking its way up his legs._

"_I'm not leaving without Namine," Riku declared._

_Sora's eyes formed a glare. "It's always her first, isn't it?" he asked quietly, voice cold and angry. The darkness slowly wrapped around him completely._

_There was a flash, a change._

_He slowly blinked his eyes open. He lay on the ground, face down. He groaned, realizing just how much he hurt. His head hurt, and his body hurt. He pushed himself to his feet and looked around._

"_Where… am I?" he asked himself quietly._

_Hollow Bastion._

_Another flash. _

_He was in Traverse Town._

"_Hey, Riku!" Sora said. "Hey-" he stopped suddenly, glancing at Namine. His smile fell, and he stood silent for a second, before turning to Riku with a glare in his eyes. "Where's Kairi?" he asked sternly._

_ Riku paused, and his smile fell too. "Sorry, Sora, I-"_

_ "You haven't found her!" Sora asked, in disbelief._

_ "Well no," Riku said, starting to sound confused. "I've only been searching for a day…"_

_ "You found Namine!" Sora shouted._

_Sudden anger, flooding through him. He couldn't believe it. How had this happened?_

_He had to find Kairi._

A cry of pain escaped Sora's lips. The darkness rose up within him again. Waves of pain shot through him as the darkness continued to grow within his heart.

"No!" he shouted, trying to force it back down.

_He had found her by now, and they were in Hollow Bastion._

"_Sora…" Kairi whispered. "I'm scared…"_

_He smiled. "Don't worry," he said, gently cupping her cheek in his hand. "I won't let anything hurt you. Promise."_

_A sudden blur, and then he had Riku pinned to the wall. Riku stared at him, shocked, and… a bit frightened. Sora took no notice. He was too angry to care._

"_Why are you here?" he asked through clenched teeth._

"_I was just talking to Kairi," Riku said slowly._

"_You're trying to get in the way!" Sora shouted._

"_Am not!" Riku replied._

_But Sora wasn't listening. He barely cared._

"_Let go of me!" Riku gasped._

The darkness was restless inside of him, trying desperately to use this sudden anger that accompanied the memories to get a hold of Sora again. Sora was fighting back just as hard, even though he wasn't quite sure as to why.

_It was crushing him. Crushing his breath, crushing his heart. Why did it hurt so much?_

"_That was a reckless use of your dark powers," Maleficent scolded._

"_Shut up!" Sora gasped, glaring up at her._

"_Just remember," Maleficent said. "Relying too much on the darkness could cost you your heart."_

_A sudden change._

_Finally, they had found the Keyhole. Sora grinned, turning to Kairi. "Hold on," he said, letting go of her hand and starting to run off. "I need to-"_

_ "No," Kairi said, catching him by the arm. "You don't."_

_ "What?" Sora asked, tugging his arm away. "What are you talking about?"_

_ "You don't have to do this, Sora!"_

"_Yes, Kairi, I do," he said coldly. "Maleficent helped me find you, I said I'd help her with this. We had a deal."_

_But this wasn't right._

_He had to fix this._

"_A weak heart can't accomplish anything…"_

_ Sora stopped, quickly turning around. A mysterious figure stood behind him._

_ "My heart isn't weak!" he snapped._

_ The mysterious figure scoffed. "A strong heart would have been able to make a decision quickly, and you wouldn't be in this mess now."_

_ Sora turned away. "What should I do?" he asked._

"_It is really quite simple," the mysterious figure replied. "Open yourself to the darkness. Let your heart, your being, become darkness itself."_

_This couldn't be right._

_But he had to fix this._

_ "How did-" Sora began, and then gulped. "How did you get in here?"_

_ "You let me in, silly boy,"_

_ "I… I did?" Sora asked. "Why did I do that?"_

_ "Because I can help you,"_

_ "You can!" Sora asked, excitement in his voice. "You mean I can fix things?"_

_ "Of course," Ansem said._

_He was going to set things right._

The darkness flared up inside of him, and almost managed to grab a hold of him again. Just the memory of giving into the darkness had made Sora weak.

But another memory flashed by.

"_You don't have to do this!" Kairi cried, staring at him in disbelief._

_ "You don't understand," Sora said."I have to do this."_

_ He didn't care. Nothing could stand in his way._

_ Well, some of him cared. The light in his heart broke down crying, ashamed of what the rest of him was doing. Ashamed that he had made Kairi this scared._

"_What are you doing!" Sora shouted, glaring up at Ansem with tear streaked cheeks."I thought you said we could fix things!"_

_ A scream. Kairi's scream, as her heart had been torn from her body._

_ It was echoing in his mind, over and over again._

_ "I can't believe…" he whispered. "I- what have I done? I- I-"_

Sora sat up suddenly, the flood of memories releasing him. He gasped, as the darkness inside him lashed out. He quickly forced it away.

He groaned, clutching his head as tears began to roll down his cheeks.

"What _have_ I done?" he asked quietly.


	8. Harsh Memories

whoo! thank you guys so much for all he world suggestions. I will do my best to try and include them. Sadly... I can't get to Space Paranoids. I tried, but it doesn't fit in my plot, and you'll see why when I get there. Spirit Realm, if you want to suggest a different world, I'll try and get that one in instead

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><p><em>Approximately five minutes ago, before (possibly during) Sora remembers<em>

"So why haven't you gone home in the past three months?" Joseph asked, jumping over the back of the couch and sitting down next to Riku. Riku didn't answer, just continued staring at the piece of paper he was holding. Joseph frowned, not quite liking being ignored. He quickly grabbed the piece of paper from Riku's hand and then jumped to his feet, standing on the couch.

"Give it back!" Riku shouted, also jumping to his feet. Joseph just laughed, managing to just barely hold the piece of paper out of Riku's reach.

"I just want to look," Joseph said innocently, and then proceeded to look at the paper (while still managing to keep it out of Riku's grasp). It was a picture of Namine and Riku. They were holding hands, and both grinning.

"Did Namine draw this?" Joseph asked after a moment.

Riku nodded.

Joseph whistled. "Dang she's good." He handed the picture back to Riku. "That's some girl you've got."

Riku flushed a bright red, and quickly focused on carefully folding the picture back up to hide it. Once it was folded he stuck it back in his pocket and then sat down. After a moment Joseph sat down too.

"You must miss her," he said, turning to look at Riku. Riku didn't say anything, staring off to the side, hands slowly clenching into fists. Finally, he nodded.

"Yeah."

"Then why haven't you gone back before now?" Joseph asked, though instantly wished he hadn't due to the glare Riku sent him. Riku's glare almost immediately softened though, and he shrugged.

"Because if I went home, it would be like I had stopped searching for Sora. And I promised that I'd find him," he explained. "If I stopped searching for him, it would be like I had broken that promise."

"So you wouldn't have gone home, even if you missed someone you cared about?" Joseph asked, still not quite understanding it.

"Finding Sora was more important than my own selfish wants," Riku replied.

"Why can't you go home now?"

Riku sighed. "I just said, I can't really go home without Sora. And Sora's not ready to go home."

"So you wouldn't go home no matter how much you miss Namine?" Joseph asked again.

Riku frowned, and shot another glare Joseph's way. "Would you leave her out of this?" he snapped, voice rising slightly with anger. "Unless you _want_ me to just go home and leave the Rebellion in the hand of Saix."

Joseph quickly shook his head. "No sir," he said quickly. "I was only curious as to why you haven't gone home, if- umm…" He paused before he said anymore, knowing it was best not to continue talking about this. "Sorry, sir," he muttered.

Riku rolled his eyes, though was grateful Joseph had finally shut up. There was a second of silence, and then a Vexen Replica walked up. If Riku remembered correctly, this was Number 2.

"Sir, you should see this," 2 said. "Sora's remembered."

Riku immediately got to his feet and followed after number 2.

XXX

Namine sat on the Paopu tree. It was night, but having not been able to sleep, she had come down here. She held her sketchbook in her lap, looking down at the picture. She had drawn it only a couple minutes ago, and, as usual, it was a picture of Riku.

A teardrop suddenly hit the page and Namine gasped. She reached up, touching her cheek, and found that she was crying. She wiped the tear away and then laughed quietly.

"I guess I miss him more than I thought I did."

The sound of footsteps caused her to look up.

"Couldn't sleep either?" she asked, as Kairi sat down next to her.

Kairi didn't say anything for a moment.

Finally, she spoke. "I think… I think I understand now what you meant when you asked me how much I remembered," she said slowly.

"Hmm?" Namine asked.

"I… I remembered," Kairi whispered. "Everything."

Namine didn't say anything, mainly because she couldn't think of anything to say. She glanced back down at her picture, fingering the edges of her notebook nervously. After a second, she looked back up, noticing that Kairi was crying.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. Fine."

Namine raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

"I-I don't know," Kairi muttered. "I- I think I'm upset, but I'm not as upset as I think I should be, and that confuses me. After all that happened, I think I would be more upset than this, that I would be angry even, but I'm not. I'm just… sad."

"I'm sure Sora will be back soon," Namine assured her.

Kairi shook her head. "It's not just that," she whispered, voice quiet and small. "I'm scared, too. Because what if he does come back? And what if he's not the same? What if he's become just some pawn of the darkness?"

"I don't think that's happened," Namine said quickly. "I'm sure he's found the light again."

"What if he hasn't?"

"I think he has-" Namine began.

"How do you know!" Kairi shouted suddenly, interrupting her. "You didn't _see_ him during those last few days! I barely even recognized him…"

Namine suddenly had nothing to say. There wasn't anything she could say. She couldn't keep telling Kairi that everything would be okay, when obviously it wasn't okay. She hadn't known that it had been this bad. All she knew was what Riku had told her, and he hadn't been able to say much about how Kairi felt about what happened.

"I hated seeing him like that," Kairi continued. "Absolutely hated it! And what if that hasn't changed? What if he's still like that?"

Namine swallowed. "I- I don't know," she said quietly.


	9. Memories of the Past

"You must hate me…" were the first words out of Sora's mouth when Riku walked into the room.

Riku paused, confused. "I don't hate you-" he said slowly.

"Why!" Sora shouted, turning to Riku with tear streaked cheeks. "Why do you not hate me? _How_ can you not hate me? After all I said to you! After all I did! You must be furious with me!"

Riku frowned. "Do you want me to be mad at you?" he asked.

"No! I mean- I just- I don't understand! I've seen how angry you get! And I did a million things worse than what anyone else did to you, so how is it that you aren't mad at me? How is it that you don't want to kill me?"

Riku was truly confused now. "Why would I want to kill you?"

"Why wouldn't you? I insulted you, I accused you of things you weren't guilty of, I beat you up, I-"

"Sora, stop there," Riku said firmly. "There is nothing that you did that I hadn't had happen to me before. I probably had more bad things happen to me in one day than what happened in those two weeks. I accused you, granted, the you in the parallel universe, of more things than you ever accused me of. And if you're worried about beating me up, don't be! It's not like I have scars from the beating I took from you, I've got more scars from the battle where, you know, I _died_. Or, maybe from all those times Larxene electrocuted me, which might I add, she did _frequently._ Also, just to let you know, all the insults you've thrown at me are _nothing_ compared to all the crap I had shoved in my face maybe only hours after I was born. So if you really want to think that I'm mad at you for all the things you've done when I've lived through _much worse_, go ahead. It's not going to do you any good!"

Sora paused a second, processing all of that. "So… you're not mad…?" he asked finally.

Riku sighed. "No," he said simply.

A smile slowly spread across Sora's face, and he quickly wiped away his tears. "Sorry, about all I said," he muttered.

"It's alright," Riku replied, having the feeling he had already said that. But, he wasn't going to point that out to Sora. It would be pointless.

"I'm sorry for kicking your butt, too," Sora continued.

"It's fine," Riku said.

"And, I'm _really _sorry for accusing you of caring about no one but Namine,"

Riku sighed. "Sora, stop apologizing, I know your darkness-"

"It wasn't my darkness," Sora said quickly, sounding rather uncomfortable. "I mean, my darkness blew it way out of proportion, but… I really was mad at you for that. I don't know why… and I was an idiot for thinking so."

"Sora, you don't have to go _that _far," Riku said.

Sora shook his head. "I was! You only care about Namine as much as I care about Kairi. Maybe more, but…" he shrugged. "That doesn't give me reason to be mad at you, does it?" Sora's face fell though as soon as he said Kairi's name. Just the thought of her reminded him of how much he had hurt her, and how angry she must be at him now.

Riku, however, didn't really notice. He was still stuck on what Sora had just said about him and Namine. Riku hadn't thought much about it, and had actually, up till now, thought that Sora cared about Kairi more than he cared about Namine. He had noticed that every time Kairi's name was mentioned, the darkness inside Sora would be thrown off. He had noticed how worried Kairi would get about Sora. He hadn't once thought that he and Namine were the same. Well, maybe close to the same, but definitely never more. But, if oblivious Sora thought that they _were_, then maybe… he needed to rethink that thought.

"Dude! You alive in there?"Sora was waving a hand in front of his face. He blinked a few times, pulling himself back to reality.

"What?" he asked.

"You zoned," Sora said simply.

He laughed nervously. "Oh… sorry…" he muttered.

Sora laughed, a devious grin on his face. "You were thinking about her, weren't you?" he teased.

"What?" Riku asked, not getting it.

Sora frowned, and he stared at Riku in shock. "Namine," he clarified. "You were thinking about her."

"Oh, yeah," Riku replied. "I guess I was."

"You miss her, don't you?" Sora asked.

"Course I do," Riku began.

Sora turned away. "Sorry," he muttered.

Riku grimaced. "Sora, I didn't mean that," he said. "It's just I haven't been home in three months. Of course I miss her. You miss Kairi, don't you?"

"She hates me."

Riku frowned, taken aback. That wasn't at all the answer he'd been expecting. "She does not," he told Sora.

Sora shook his head, and then laughed, bitterly. "How do you know that?" he asked.

"Well…" Riku replied. "She seemed pretty heartbroken about the fact you were gone, but…" he stopped. He really didn't know. "I haven't been home since then…"

"Exactly," Sora muttered.

"She probably doesn't hate you, though."

Sora just shrugged, pushing the matter aside. "I'm sorry I've kept you from going home," he said instead.

"It's nothing," Riku shrugged. "We'll be heading home soon, anyways, once we figure out how you can conquer your darkness."

Sora turned to him, a bit shocked. "You're willing to help?" he asked.

Riku nodded. "Sure. I've already been gone three months, what's a few more days?"

Sora frowned. "It might take longer than a few days…" he whispered.

"You don't want it inside of you, do you?" Riku asked.

"Of course I don't!" Sora replied, quickly.

"We're already half way there then!" Riku laughed.

Sora opened his mouth, to try and convince Riku that it probably _wasn't_ going to take only a few days. But before he could say anything, a Vexen Replica walked up, demanding Riku's immediate attention regarding a problem.

Riku sighed. "This will only take a minute," he told Sora. "And then we can start brainstorming ideas."

XXX

"Are the preparations complete?"

Vexen Replica Number 37 didn't bother turning around. It wasn't hard to tell that it was Saix who had spoken, for two reasons. One; Saix had that dull monotone voice that was easy to distinguish from the rest of the Replicas that 37 worked with daily. Two; it was impossible to use a dark corridor to access this room, and he and Saix were the only two people with a key.

"No," 37 replied as calmly as he could. Normally, he wouldn't have minded. However, it had been only twenty minutes since Saix had given him this task, which would usually take at least an hour. "I've told you before, it is much harder to edit the Program from any computer but the main one. And the main one is still in Castle Oblivion."

"Let me know _immediately_ when the preparations are complete," Saix said, leaving.

"Of course I will, sir," 37 muttered. He typically wasn't bothered by Saix, which is why he had remained on this side of the Rebellion. The side where, technically, everyone _should_ be, but they had all decided that working under Saix was a major issue and they rebelled. Well, not everyone, but quite a few people.

The Rebellion aside, Saix was being rather annoying about this specific assignment.

_I guess I can't blame him for wanting to make Deactivating Replicas easier… _37 thought, typing a few things in on the keyboard. _After the fiasco with Roxas… _He sighed, and continued working.

Of course, the "fiasco" 37 was referring to was the fact that Saix had flat out destroyed Roxas, when the more sensible thing to do would have been to simply Deactivate him and Rewrite him later. Saix blamed this on the fact that Deactivating Replicas was so hard and took too much time, and told 37 to start working on a way to fix it. He hadn't actually received orders to go ahead and do so until twenty minutes previously. Twenty-three minutes previously, to be exact.

_And we still have to find a replacement for Roxas. I know the Organization is planning on using the original Sora, but I still don't know how. That sort of thing doesn't really concern me. However, I do still think creating another Replica of him would be easier…_

_Though, creating a Replica is impossible without access to the main computer, and no one can access that. The main computer is in Castle Oblivion, but we've locked the Program. We had to, after Zexion Alpha's meddling. Now, no Replica can be deactivated, activated, or created without a password. Saix and I are the only ones that know the password. The Rebellion won't be getting away with any more sneakiness._

37 paused, scratched his head, and then continued typing.


	10. Upon the Clocktower

Holy nuts (lol, been saying that since Sora did) this chapter's long!

that, and Joseph is FREAKING unpredictable. He said most of this stuff himself. especially the bet, WASN'T planning that

* * *

><p>"Hey, Sora!" Joseph said, plopping himself down on the couch next to Sora. "How are things, now that you've remembered everything?"<p>

Sora frowned, unsure of how exactly to respond to that, considering it was Joseph who had been asking. He _knew_ how he felt, he just wasn't quite sure if he wanted to tell Joseph. Joseph, upon not receiving and answer, also frowned, as if pondering something.

"You look like you need ice cream," he stated after a moment, grinning. He hopped to his feet, and then stared at Sora expectantly. "Come on!" he said, sounding excited. "I'm going to take you to get ice cream!"

"Okay…" Sora replied slowly, rising to his feet.

"Oi!" Joseph called, grabbing the attention of the nearest Vexen Replica. "If anyone asks, let them know we're getting ice cream."

The Vexen Replica nodded. "I'll be sure to inform Master Riku where you've gone," he replied.

"I wasn't necessarily referring to-" Joseph began, but sighed. It was pointless. "Whatever," he muttered, opening up a dark corridor.

Sora glanced at the corridor with wary eyes. Joseph watched him for a second, not getting it at first.

"Oh!" Joseph exclaimed, laughing. "I forgot that you don't like corridors." He closed the corridor, and then quickly felt around in his pockets. After searching for a second, he produced a star shaped object.

"I _knew_ it was in this pair of pants!" he said happily, grabbing Sora by the arm.

Before Sora could question what was going to happen, the two of them disappeared in a flash of light. For the next few seconds, it was like they were bouncing from one world to the next, before being violently spat out into Twilight Town. Sora frowned, as there was now an annoying buzzing in his ears. Joseph quickly shook his head to clear the buzzing.

"Sorry," Joseph muttered, pocketing the star. "It's been a while since I've done that. At least we ended up in the right world."

Sora nodded, even though he only caught bits and pieces of what Joseph had said, due to the buzzing. Finally, it had died down enough that he could at least hear properly.

"Come on!" Joseph called, running off. "Ice cream's over here."

XXX

Approximately two minutes later, Sora and Joseph sat on top of the Clock Tower, happily enjoying their ice cream. Sora hadn't bothered to question why Joseph had _insisted_ on sitting up here, but mainly because he didn't mind. He wasn't sure how he felt about interacting with the Worlds at the moment. His darkness was quiet at the moment, but he was sure it could act up at any moment.

Besides, this town had enough painful memories, and the Clock Tower was far away from all of them.

He glanced at the sunset, and slowly smiled. The view from up here was amazing.

_I should bring Kairi here sometime, _he thought, and then sighed, smile fading. _If she'd ever forgive me… after all I've done. I wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to see me again, let alone eat ice cream with me._

"What's on your mind?" Joseph asked, noticing something was up.

Sora shook his head. "Just… thinking about Kairi…" he muttered.

Joseph, who wasn't really well informed on matters such as these, asked: "Who?"

"She's… a friend of mine…" Sora replied slowly.

"You miss her?" Joseph asked, taking a bite of ice cream.

Sora nodded. "Yeah, but that's not what I was thinking about…" he said. "How much did Riku tell you about what happened to me?"

Joseph shrugged. "He mentioned you fell into darkness, but that's it."

"Really?" Sora asked, a bit surprised. He would have assumed that Riku would have mentioned more about what happened. Obviously, Riku was serious when he said that he honestly didn't care.

"Well, during that time, I said a lot of things I wish so badly I could take back," Sora continued. "And… I did a lot of things I don't think I'll ever be able to make up for." He sighed. "Riku got most of the insults, but Kairi… was forced to watch me fall into darkness first hand. And… I hurt her so badly-" he paused, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes. "I feel awful about it, and I'd give anything to be able to fix it. But… she probably hates me…"

Joseph paused, considering that. "Well, I'm sure if you tell her how awful you feel, she'll forgive you!"

"You think?" Sora asked quietly.

Joseph nodded.

"Still…" Sora muttered.

"Anything else you want to talk about?" Joseph asked quickly, in hopes to change the subject.

Sora pondered that, eating his ice cream as he did. After a moment, he thought of something, and asked: "Why do you call him 'Master' Riku?"

"It's a sign of respect," Joseph replied simply. "Like… We called Vexen: 'Master' Vexen. And, technically we should be calling Saix 'Master', too… but no one wants to do that." Joseph shuddered slightly. "I don't call Riku 'Master', though. He said he didn't like it."

"You call him 'sir', though," Sora pointed it.

Joseph shrugged. "I still want to show him respect. And he hasn't mentioned that it bothers him."

"Why do you need to show him respect, though?"

Joseph shrugged again. "I don't think we have to, it's just a choice. I mean, he is sort of a legend, for killing a third of the Organization in two days. That, and he's kind of in charge of the Rebellion. And he's a heck of a lot nicer than Saix."

Sora laughed. "Of course Riku's in charge of the Rebellion. I'm sure he just _loves_ that." There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice, at which Joseph laughed.

They sat in silence for a bit after that. Joseph had finished his ice cream, and had pocketed the stick. Sora was still trying to finish his.

"Can I ask you something?" Joseph said.

"Go ahead," Sora shrugged.

"How much do you know about Namine?"

Sora paused, ice cream half way to his mouth. That wasn't one of the questions he had been expecting. He wasn't sure _what_ question he had been expecting, but it hadn't been that. "What exactly do you want to know?" he replied.

Joseph shrugged, yet again. "Riku's just mentions her a lot, and it's not like I've met her or anything."

"Well…" Sora said slowly. "She's quiet… I think… I remember her being quiet, but I was hardly paying attention."

"Riku loves her, doesn't he?" Joseph asked after a moment.

Sora laughed, mainly just at the fact that that question was a bit random. "I can't give you a straight answer on that one," he replied, still grinning. "I mean, I _have_ been gone three months. Though, it's no surprise if he does."

Joseph laughed too. "I think he does. He just won't admit it. I've brought the subject before, like flat out asked him if he does, and he didn't say no-"

"He just tells you to shut up and quickly changes the subject," Sora finished.

They both laughed again.

Joseph paused after a moment. "You know…" he said slowly. "He may not even realize it… I mean… he's only… how old is he?"

Sora frowned at that question. "Same age as me, right?"

Joseph laughed and shook his head. "I didn't mean that, exactly. I was referring to how long he's been… alive, I guess. Do you know when he was created?"

Sora shook his head no. "I know he's been in this universe for… umm… eight months." Sora paused, thinking about that. It had been eight months. It felt like forever ago, though. "Wow…" he muttered. "Anyways, I have no idea how long he spent in the other universe. I'm guessing a month, maybe less."

"See?" Joseph said. "Think about that, Riku's technically only eight months old. He may not even understand what love is, exactly. It just depends on how much knowledge he was programmed with to begin with, and how much he's learned since then."

"What are you saying?" Sora asked, not quite getting it.

"I'm only saying that for him… maybe he doesn't fully comprehend the thought that him and Namine could be more than... whatever they already are."

Sora laughed. "So, if we were betting on how long it will take him to realize he loves her, it wouldn't be smart to bet on sometime in the near future."

Joseph laughed. "Are we betting?"

"Do you want to?" Sora asked.

"Sure!"

"Alright…" Sora took a second, thinking about it. "I'm guessing… a month."

"Two months," Joseph replied, grinning.

"If I win, you give me half your winner sticks," Sora said.

Joseph's grin widened. "If I win, you buy me three ice creams."

"Deal!" they both agreed.

Silence passed for a moment.

"What about you?" Joseph asked suddenly. "Have you got anyone special?"

Sora shrugged, smile falling. "I guess… I've got Kairi. But… I don't know, after what happened."

"Can't you go home and apologize?"

Sora shook his head. "I can't go home, not like this," he said, clutching his heart. "There's still darkness inside of me. I can't go home until I've got it under control. And I still need to figure out how to do that."

Joseph scratched his head. "Do you have any ideas?"

"I need… to be stronger," Sora replied. "If I'm strong enough, then I'll be able to fight the darkness if it tries to take over me. But… I don't know if there's a way for me to get any stronger…" he sighed.

Joseph thought about it for a second. "You could always travel the worlds," he suggested. "You gain strength through experience. If you just keep fighting the monsters that are scattered throughout the worlds, you can become stronger."

Sora glanced over at Joseph. "You think so?"

Joseph nodded. "Sure! I mean, why wouldn't that work?"

Sora's smile fell again. "I can't really travel to other worlds…" he muttered.

"Yeah you can!" Joseph exclaimed, pulling the star shaped object out of his pocket again. "All you need is one of these!"

"What is that?"

"It's a star shard," Joseph explained. "They're a bit hard to control, but you can use them to get to other worlds once you've mastered how. I can teach you how to use one, if you want."

Sora nodded. "That would be nice!"

"Okay, we'll get started on that tomorrow."

"Alright," Sora agreed. He glanced over at Joseph. "You're a smart kid."

Joseph grinned, and then laughed. "Would you mind telling 29 that? He doesn't think I am."

Sora laughed.


	11. Thoughts of Home

i should have uploaded this chapter sooner... but somehow I forgot *shrugs*

anyways, this is another one of those chapters that Namine and Riku wrote. completely. i didn't plan ANY of this.

thanks to my sister, forevermagik13, for writing Vexen's Research.

and... if you're wondering WHY there's a Vexen from a parallel universe here, go read "Some Things You Just Can't Escape" by forevermagik13

* * *

><p>Joseph and Sora were still out on their ice cream run. Riku sat on one of the couches in Castle Oblivion, letting his mind wander. It been a while since his mind had been able to wander. He had been so focused on finding Sora that he had never spared himself a second to just <em>think<em>.

Currently, he was thinking about how things were back home.

_I hope Namine's okay… She's probably worried about me. I DID run off almost as soon as I came. But I was so focused on finding Sora, and I didn't expect it to take three months. I hope she's not mad at me. I'll have to apologize for that, as soon as I see her again. I hope I see her again soon…_

He sighed.

_I bet Kairi's worried too. She was probably more worried about Sora than I was._

_ Well, as soon as he gets his darkness under control, we can go home, and they won't have to worry anymore. And it shouldn't take too long. I hope…_

He honestly had no clue how long it was going to take Sora to gain control over his darkness. He was assuming it wouldn't take much longer than a week. But what if it took longer?

He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out the picture Namine had drawn. He unfolded it carefully and looked at it. His heart ached.

_I want to go home…_ he thought.

_They'd understand if I told them that I had found Sora, he just needed a bit more time before he can come home. And it's not like I would have to stay long. Just an hour or so, so I can talk to Namine._

_ But… I DID promise I'd bring Sora home… Going home without him would be like breaking that promise…_

_ And, I promised Sora I'd help him, too._

He sighed again.

_There's no way I could go home…_

_ I don't even know why I thought of it in the first place._

But he did know, even though he didn't quite want to admit it. It was because he missed Namine. A lot. And he wanted to see her again.

_Hopefully… helping Sora won't take too long._

He gasped, suddenly, as a wave of pain shot through him. He clutched his head, eyes squeezed shut, trying to fight it off. His head was throbbing, and he had no idea why.

_What the heck? _he thought.

After a moment, the pain subsided slightly, and went down to just a dull throb at the back of his mind.

"Are you alright?" one of the Vexen Replicas asked. He didn't bother trying to figure out who it was. His head hurt too much.

"Just a headache," he muttered.

XXX

Namine sat quietly on the beach, drawing. She was frowning, mainly in concentration, but partly because she didn't quite understand _why_ she was drawing this. Her only logical explanation was that this particular thing was on Riku's mind at the moment, even though that hardly explained it, and she was almost positive that it _wasn't_.

Typically, those were the pictures she couldn't remember drawing.

The picture was of Sora. Well, Sora as he was being dragged back down into darkness. The terrified look on his face scared her. She was sure that by the time she was done drawing this, the image would be burned into the back of her mind forever.

_A pool of darkness opened up below Sora, and a hand shot out and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. Riku watched in horror. What was happening?_

"_YOU ARE MINE!" Ansem shouted, slowly dragging Sora down. "And you will fade into darkness with me!"_

"_No!" Sora gasped, trying to fight it. "I won't- I-" He looked at Riku, eyes filled with terror. He knew he wasn't going to be able to escape._

It was that same terrified face that Namine was currently drawing.

She paused, closing her eyes, fighting the memory off. It wasn't working very well, though. And before long, another memory had floated up.

_Sora was staring at him, desperately, holding the good luck charm out. He was trying to explain something. Something… something…. What was it?_

_Riku was confused though, at the sight of that charm. It didn't make sense._

"_Tell me…. Where did you get that?" he asked, and then gasped, as white hot pain shot through his brain. He stumbled back, clutching his head. Everything was a blur. Blurred by the pain, by the-_

_What was even going on?_

Namine clutched her head in pain, as her body responded to the pain of the memory, even though the memory wasn't hers.

_ But then everything suddenly made sense. He laughed, darkly. "Sora… good try… I've got the real one right here!" He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a charm exactly identical to the one Sora was holding._

_ "Wha-" Sora exclaimed. "TWO of them!"_

_ The look on his face was priceless. He still looked upset, and was scowling, but confusion clouded all that. Riku would have laughed again, if he wasn't so angry._

_ "Fakes should be destroyed!" he shouted, raising his blade._

Namine almost shouted. She didn't like that idea. She didn't like the fact those words were coming out of Riku's mouth. But she couldn't dwell on it long. The memories had already begun to shift. Already, she was being bombarded with flashes upon flashes of memory. She saw that star shaped charm a couple more times, before it faded into the rest of the wave of memories.

She bit her tongue, doing her best not to scream. But it hurt. It all hurt too much.

None of it made sense.

_I thought… I thought there wouldn't be any more of these!_ Namine thought angrily, still trying to fight off the memories. They were rushing by so fast now, she couldn't distinguish anything. Maybe a strangled thought got to her, maybe a sentence, but it was all just a blur of noise and images.

Her ears were ringing.

Her head hurt.

None of it made sense.

Why didn't it make sense?

It was almost as if the memories were attacking her. They were shouting at her, screaming at her. She couldn't tell who, she couldn't tell what.

She didn't care.

She wanted it to stop.

"Shut up!" she cried. She wasn't sure why. It's not like the memories would listen to her. But maybe if she forced the thought hard enough-

What was she thinking?

What was going on?

The memories were crushing her.

She couldn't think.

She could hardly breathe.

XXX

"Namine?"

She groaned, as she finally found her way back to consciousness. It was silent, inside her head. No memories. No images, no voices. Just her own thoughts.

"Namine!"

And someone calling her name…

She slowly opened her eyes. Kairi was sitting there, looking worried.

Namine frowned. Kairi wasn't the person she wanted to see.

"Are you alright?" Kairi asked.

Namine slowly sat up, ignoring her previous thought. "Yeah," she replied. "I'm alright."

There must have been something about the way she said it, as Kairi frowned.

"Are you sure?"

Namine nodded.

Her head still hurt, just a bit. But she hardly noticed it.

So she was fine.

"Memory meltdown?" Kairi asked. This had only been the second time this had happened, but Kairi obviously knew how to recognize them.

Namine nodded again. She wasn't sure if she wanted to speak.

"What's this?" Kairi asked suddenly, glancing at Namine's sketchbook. Namine followed her gaze, curious.

Her sketchbook lay open to a completely different picture. One she didn't remember drawing. It was a picture of her and Riku, which she wasn't at all surprised she had drawn. What _did_ surprise her though was the star shaped charm Riku was holding.

It was the same charm she had seen in the memories.

But what did it mean?

XXX

"Are you sure you're alright?" the Vexen Replica pressed.

Riku slowly rubbed his temples. "Yes," he repeated. "I'm fine."

"You don't look alright."

Riku frowned. It wasn't often one of the Replicas got this worried about him. Well, except Joseph, but that was different. _What number ARE you?_ he wondered, glancing up.

"Oh…" he muttered. "It's you…"

Of all of the Vexens to run into, why did it have to be this one? It was the Vexen from the parallel universe. He _would_ say the real Vexen, but that wasn't entirely true. Or was it? Parallel universes confused him.

His head began throbbing again.

"Yes, it's me," Vexen said, sounding a bit annoyed. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No," Riku quickly lied. Of course he had a problem with that. He _never_ liked talking to Vexen. It was always so… weird.

Vexen sat down on the couch next to him, and Riku nearly groaned.

_You did NOT just sit down next to me…_ he thought, though it didn't help.

"You're positive you're alright?" Vexen asked.

Riku was _still_ refraining from groaning. Of course Vexen would be worried about him. Of course. This was so weird. Anything concerning Vexen, _this_ Vexen in particular, was weird. Especially the fact he worried so much.

"It's _just_ a headache," Riku said tersely. Vexen frowned at that. Riku ignored him.

_If I ignore him… he'll get bored and leave… I think… he might just stay longer, and get all annoyed that I was ignoring him, and then yell at me. I don't like it when he yells at me._

Riku frowned at that last thought.

_What! That doesn't even make sense! Why am I even worrying about this?_

He stopped worrying immediately as Vexen reached for the picture. "Hey!" he said.

Vexen ignored him. "What's this?" he asked, proceeding to look at the picture.

"Nothing!" Riku said quickly. "It's-" he sighed, as it was pointless. He groaned, rubbing his head again.

"Can I have it back?" he muttered, holding out his hand. He was surprised when Vexen actually gave it back to him. "Thanks…" he mumbled.

"Still pining after Namine, are we?" Vexen asked.

Riku could have sworn he had been asked that before. But he didn't care. He actually wanted to smack Vexen. "Pining!" he asked, voice rising slightly with anger. "It's never been that! It's- I don't know what it is…" His voice fell as he said that, and he went back to rubbing his temples.

He was so confused. He didn't understand what he was feeling. He thought he understood his feelings for Namine. When she was around, it made sense. He knew he wanted to protect her, and that he liked being around her.

But when she wasn't here?

He hurt.

And he didn't understand why.

He wanted to see her again. He knew that. Now that he wasn't so worried about Sora, he was thinking about her more. And thinking about just how much he missed her.

He missed her a lot.

XXX

Vexen's Research

Riku's connections with Namine.

The Fake Riku and the Real Namine-I never did learn the extent of their connection, Axel cut that short. Darn him. However, I know that Riku was told that he must protect Namine. Though I'm not sure how she felt about that. I would have to ask her. Last I checked, however, she had rejoined with Kairi and who knows the chances of her being a separate being by now.

Though, time has passed much quicker there, who knows what could have transpired.

Anyway! Enough of the rambling! I am writing this report on Riku!

What is his connection to this New Namine? This Replicated Namine, formed from his own memories? He certainly seems to care for her quite a bit. He is definitely tense to the subject anytime I, or anyone else, brings it up. I know he's threatened to murder Joseph on many occasions. (Though, I gather Joseph gets death threats from more than just Riku. I'm not sure why, he's a nice kid.)

Riku obviously wants to protect this New Namine. But do his feelings go further than just protection? Is such a thing even possible?

I must do more research.

Though, it would be much easier if this New Namine were here, so I could observe how the two interact.


	12. A Star Shard and a Wooden Sword

Okay, so I actually have almost no clue how you actually operate a star shard, but this seems the most logical (though, the buzzing was something I added just for the heck of it)

* * *

><p>"THAT IS SO COOL!"<p>

Sora stopped what he was doing (which was practicing battle techniques with his wooden sword) and turned to look at Joseph, who was the one who had shouted.

"Is that a wooden sword?" Joseph asked, running over.

"Yeah," Sora replied simply. He handed it over to Joseph so he could see.

"That's awesome!" Joseph exclaimed. He paused after a second of examining the sword. "What's this?" he asked, looking up at Sora.

Sora winced. Joseph had seen the bloodstain. There was no point hiding it though, so he went ahead and explained. "That's… blood."

"Whose blood is it?"

Sora laughed at Joseph's excitement. "Riku's actually," he replied.

"Really!" Joseph asked, shocked. "That's so cool! You managed to hurt Riku, with a wooden sword!"

"Well I-" Sora began. "It's not something I'm proud of, really," he muttered. But Joseph was hardly paying attention. He was now swinging Sora's sword around, as if he were attacking monsters. Sora watched in amusement, and a smile slowly found its way onto his face.

"Here," Joseph said after a moment, handing the sword back to Sora. "Come on, you need to learn how to use a star shard!"

XXX

"Alright, Castle Oblivion has some very special rooms, which you can turn into worlds," Joseph was explaining very rapidly as they were walking. "I've sampled a couple of your memories and turned a few rooms into worlds so we can practice. Don't worry, it's not like we'll run into anyone from your memories. I edited all that data out."

He stopped suddenly, in an empty room. He pulled a star shard out of his pocket and handed it to Sora. "This star shard is rigged so it can't leave Castle Oblivion," he said. "However, it's perfect for practice. And for pulling pranks." A devilish grin grew on his face, and Sora instantly felt sorry for whomever Joseph had happened to pull a prank on.

"So how does it work?" Sora asked, examining the star shard.

"Simple," Joseph replied. "You just think about where you want to go, and you'll go there. But, because this shard's rigged, you'll just go to the room that represents that world. Which is why it's perfect for practice! We won't have to leave Castle Oblivion! Just be warned, until you learn to control it, the shard might go off randomly."

"That's not-" Sora began, when the star shard erupted with a flash of light.

Joseph frowned, and immediately caught Sora by the arm before he disappeared. They were spat out in Olympus Coliseum.

Sora's ears were ringing again. Joseph shook his head, to clear it, and then gestured that Sora do the same. After a second of doubt, he went ahead and gave it a shot, and was surprised to find that it worked.

"And, until you learn to control it properly, it'll do that," Joseph sighed. "Anyways, try and go somewhere on purpose this time."

"So what do I do? Just think where I want to go?" Sora asked. Joseph nodded.

Sora frowned, concentrating. His concentration was broken when Joseph grabbed his hand, and held on tightly.

"Sorry," Joseph muttered. "I don't want to lose you, even if we are just in Castle Oblivion." He turned to grin at Sora. "Besides, this way you'll learn how to transport two people at once right off the bat."

"Is it any different?" Sora asked, slightly worried.

Joseph shook his head. "Just a bit harder, that's all."

"Okay," Sora said, and then frowned in concentration again. After a second, the star shard gave off another flash of light, and they were spat out in Twilight Town. They both shook their heads to clear the buzzing.

"Is this where you wanted to go?" Joseph asked immediately after that. Sora nodded.

"First place I thought of," he muttered.

"That's fine!" Joseph said. "Let's keep going. You don't have the art perfected until the buzzing goes away."

"Good to know," Sora muttered, and then concentrated on a different world.

XXX

A couple of hours later, they were still practicing with the star shard. Except, now, Joseph would run to one of the world rooms, and then tell Sora to meet him there. It was working rather well. The star shard only activated randomly a couple of times, and Sora was getting better at controlling that. He wasn't sure how, exactly, that he was, but he was. That, and the annoying buzzing was starting to go away.

"You learned pretty quickly!" Joseph exclaimed, as they were standing in the middle of Hollow Bastion. Sora was hoping that they would go to a different world soon, as he didn't like staying in Hollow Bastion.

Sora shrugged, unsure of what to say. He didn't have time to think about it though, because Heartless suddenly started appearing. He drew his Keyblade immediately. It was the first time he had summoned his blade in a while, and he was slightly surprised (and relieved) that the thorns and most of the cracks were gone. There was still one crack running down the length of his blade though.

"I thought I edited these guys out, too!" Joseph whined, stepping back as Sora attacked the Heartless. He didn't have a weapon, so all he could do was stay out of the way.

Once Sora had gotten rid of all the Heartless, he turned to Joseph and smiled. "It's Hollow Bastion," he said. "Heartless are always lurking here. Don't feel bad."

"There's another one!" Joseph shouted, pointing. Sora quickly took care of it, and then turned to Joseph.

"Do you know how to fight?" he asked.

Joseph shook his head. "Not really… I wasn't programmed with a weapon, so I never learned."

"You don't have a weapon? Why not?"

Joseph shrugged. "Master Vexen must not have seen it fit to give me one," he said. "I guess I can't complain. But still…" He glanced down at his feet as he said this, and Sora couldn't help but feel that he was upset.

After a second of thinking, Sora knelt down so he was eye level with Joseph. "Here," he said, pulling out his wooden sword. "You can have this."

"I can!" Joseph asked, voice rising with excitement.

"Sure," Sora shrugged. "I don't really need it anymore. I've got my Keyblade."

"Thank you!" Joseph exclaimed, taking the wooden sword. He swung it around a bit, and then turned to Sora, still grinning. "You are like, my new best friend!"

Sora laughed, and then held out the star shard.

"Oh! I need to get you a different one, right," Joseph laughed. He grabbed Sora's hand again. "Take us back to Castle Oblivion's main room, kay?"

Sora nodded, and then proceeded to do so. They disappeared in a flash of light, and then landed rather nicely in the main room. Joseph grinned.

"No buzzing!" he laughed. "You've gotten really good at this!"

Sora smiled, unsure of what to say. Joseph took the star shard from him.

"I'll be right back!" he called, running off.

He returned maybe a minute later, and handed Sora a different star shard.

"That's yours to keep!" he said, happily.

"Thanks," Sora replied.

"You're welcome!" Joseph laughed, and then ran off, wooden sword in hand. Sora laughed as he watched Joseph swing it around a couple of times, and then get yelled at by one of the Vexen Replicas.

For the first time in a while, he actually felt happy.


	13. Walk the Plank!

HEY! this is important! i finally bothered to draw some concept art of Joseph, there's a link on my profile

this is the first of the chapter's using the world suggestions I got. If you were hoping for some plot that's relevant to the world and it's characters... well... you didn't get it. Sorry.

* * *

><p>"So, what's next?" Sora asked, leaning against the back of the couch where Riku was sitting.<p>

Riku quickly shoved something back in his pocket and glanced up at Sora. "Shouldn't I be asking _you_ that?"

"You're coming with me, right?"

"Well, yeah," Riku muttered. "But that doesn't mean I need to make your decisions for you. I'm only tagging along so you don't get yourself into a huge mess or something."

"Why would you think-" Sora began, but stopped, remembering quite a few good reasons why Riku would think such a thing. "Never mind," he muttered.

"We're traveling the worlds, right?" Riku asked, moving past what Sora said. "Where do you want to go first?"

"I don't know…" Sora shrugged.

"Hollow Bastion?" Riku suggested.

Sora quickly shook his head no.

"Why not?" Riku asked. "I thought it was a good idea, considering what happened there, it would be like you were starting at the core of the problem."

"That's exactly why I _can't_ go," Sora muttered. "What if Maleficent's there?"

Riku frowned. "Why would that be a problem?"

"She was the one who dragged me down into the Darkness in the first place," Sora explained.

"Then you'd want revenge, right?"

Sora shook his head again. "I- I don't think…" he paused, and then continued quietly: "I'm not strong enough to face her. Just talking about her, the darkness is rearing up inside me, as if trying to get control again. I can't face her until I'm stronger."

Riku frowned, deciding not to question this logic. "Alright… any other ideas?"

"You could always go to Neverland!" Joseph suggested as he walked by. "And if you do, can I come with you? I don't get out of Castle Oblivion much."

"Why not?" Sora asked, glancing over at Joseph.

"29 won't let me go anywhere alone," Joseph replied. "And… everyone's usually too busy to take me anywhere."

"Who's 29?" Sora asked.

"He's the Vexen Replica that looks after me," Joseph answered. "Didn't I already mention that?"

"Might have…" Sora muttered. "I can never remember what number goes with what replica though." He scratched his head and shrugged. "I should probably start trying to figure that out…"

"Probably," Riku and Joseph said at the same time.

Sora sighed.

"So, Neverland, right?" Joseph said.

"I don't see why not," Riku muttered.

Sora nodded, and then pulled out his star shard, handing it to Joseph. "You're taking us though. I don't want to end up on Captain Hook's ship by mistake."  
>"Got it," Joseph laughed.<p>

In a flash of light, they disappeared.

XXX

_Thud!_

The three of them landed flat on their faces.

"Ug," Joseph moaned, pushing himself up. "Talk about a rough landing." He quickly shook his head to clear it. "Sorry about that!"

"It's alright," Sora muttered, also shaking his head to clear it.

Riku pushed himself up, and frowned. He could hardly hear a thing. His ears were ringing. He followed Joseph's example and shook his head to clear it. It worked surprisingly well.

Sora groaned. Riku began to ask why, but found he didn't need to.

They were on Captain Hook's ship.

"Joseph! I told you not to bring us here!" Sora hissed.

"Sorry!" Joseph said, again. "Do you think transporting three people is easy!" He sighed. "Oh well, since we're here, why don't we try and steal some treasure!"

Both Sora and Riku turned to him in disbelief.

"What!" he asked. "Haven't you ever wanted to steal treasure from a pirate? I thought it would be fun! Cause, you know, they're pirates, all tough and stuff! I would think stealing treasure from them would be hard, since they're greedy and protective of their treasure. And if you could steal their treasure, then you'd be like- super amazing or something!"

"No," Riku replied simply.

"Aww!" Joseph whined. "Why not!"

"Listen, Joseph," Sora said calmly. "I really don't want to stay on this ship long. So no stealing treasure, alright?"

"Fine," he muttered.

"So how are you planning on getting off of this ship?" Riku asked, turning to Sora.

Sora shrugged, and then paused to think about it. "It doesn't look like we're too far from the shore…" he said after a moment. "We could always just jump ship and swim to land."

"Yeah, that would work," Riku agreed. "Let's do that now before we get noticed."

"Too late," Joseph whispered, pointing in the direction of a few pirates (none of which were Captain Hook, thankfully) who had noticed them.

"Quick," Riku hissed, darting behind a crate so they wouldn't be seen. Sora and Joseph followed him.

"Now how are we going to get off?" Sora asked.

Joseph was staring at the pirates thoughtfully. "You guys go ahead," he said after a moment. "I'll distract them while you escape."

"No, Joseph, you can't do that!" Riku said frantically. "29 would kill me if you got hurt."

"I'll be fine!" Joseph insisted, pulling out his wooden sword and starting to hop over the crate. He turned back to them with a wicked grin. "Besides, maybe I can grab some gold off of them." He hopped over the crates and then proceeded to 'distract' the pirates. Distracting them, however, entailed whacking them with his wooden sword.

"Come on," Sora hissed, tugging on Riku's sleeve. "They won't notice us now. These pirates are a bit dumb. They can only focus on one thing at a time."

Riku began to question how Sora knew that, but decided better of it. Sora hoisted himself up and over the railing of the ship, and then dropped down into the water. He landed with a surprisingly quiet splash. Riku glanced over at Joseph, who was now engaged in a sword fight with one of the pirates and doing rather well. He sighed and then followed after Sora.

"Where's Joseph?" Sora asked, once Riku was in the water.

"Still fighting a pirate," Riku replied as he began to swim for shore.

"Wait up!" Sora called, swimming after him.

"Back you pirates! Back!" Joseph warned, stabbing at them with his sword. They were, obviously, not threatened, considering Joseph's sword was made of wood. But that wasn't stopping him from using it.

One of the pirates grabbed him from behind.

"Hey!" he shouted, shocked. "Let go of me you dirty pirate!"

"What should we do with 'im?" the pirate holding him asked.

"Make him walk the plank!" another replied.

"You want me to walk the plank!" Joseph asked. "Fine! I'll walk the plank!" He broke free from the pirate who was holding him, stuck his wooden sword in his belt (where he had been keeping it previously) and then made his way over to the plank.

Several swords were jabbing him in the back, forcing him to the end of the plank. Once at the edge, he turned around to the pirates, stuck his tongue out at them, and then dove off the plank and into the water.

_Splash!_

The pirates all glanced over the edge of the ship, to see where he had gone. He didn't resurface right away.

"Is he dead?" one of the pirates asked.

He wasn't.

Only a few seconds later, Joseph's head broke through the surface of the water. He looked up at the pirates and laughed, before turning to the shore, where Sora and Riku were. He flashed them a devilish grin and then made his way over.

"Nice one!" Sora laughed.

"Thanks," Joseph replied, trying to dry out his wet shirt. It wasn't working rather well. "I'm so glad I came along! It's not every day you get to walk the plank." He laughed, and then turned to Riku. "What now? Are we going to start hunting Heartless or something?"

Riku turned to Sora.

Sora frowned. "Yeah, I guess that was the plan," he muttered. "Just fight random Heartless."

"Okay!" Joseph pulled out his wooden sword.

"Just don't go after any large ones, alright?" Riku asked.

Joseph nodded.

The next fifteen or twenty minutes consisted entirely of the destruction of random Heartless. Or, rather, Sora destroying random Heartless. Joseph managed to fend for his own, though he only actually managed to kill one Heartless (and how he did so remains a mystery). Riku wasn't really fighting, figuring he'd just end up slaughtering the Heartless without giving Sora a fair chance. He did, however, kill all the Heartless that bothered him, or any Heartless that snuck up on Joseph. He ignored most of the Heartless that snuck up on Sora, still with the intent of giving Sora a fair chance.

"Alright, I think that's it for this area!" Sora called, finishing off the last of the Heartless around him. "Should we move on?"

"Yeah," Riku nodded, swiftly killing the two Joseph was still fighting.

"Hey!" Joseph whined, not for the first time. He was, however, ignored (not for the first time either).

The three of them started walking towards the next area. Joseph was still whining about Riku killing the Heartless he had been fighting. Riku was arguing with him. Sora, however, wasn't paying much attention. He was tired of listening to Riku and Joseph argue about the same thing over and over again, considering they had been arguing about this (or something similar to this) since two areas ago.

Sora paused suddenly, catching something out of the corner of his eye. Something was moving in the trees. Something dark.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing as the thing stopped.

"What's what?" Joseph asked in return, looking.

"_That!_"

Riku turned to look, and frowned after examining the area where Sora was pointing. "Sora, I don't see anything," he said slowly. "Are you sure something's there?"

The thing disappeared into the denser forest.

Sora sighed. "Well, there _was,_" he muttered, and then turned back to Joseph and Riku, who were looking at him weird. "You guys think I'm crazy, don't you?"

Joseph shrugged and started to say something, but Riku cut him off.

"No, there might have been something there," Riku said. "Do you want me to go look?"

Sora shook his head. "No, it's gone now."

"It was probably just an animal or something," Joseph laughed, starting to walk again.

_That definitely wasn't an animal…_ Sora thought, and sighed again. _Well, whatever…_

"Heartless!" Riku called, pulling his blade. He charged into battle, Joseph not far behind.

Sora pulled his blade and began to follow them, but something made him pause again. It was a voice. He couldn't describe it, but the voice sounded exactly like it belonged to that thing he had just seen.

And the voice said: "By the way, you're the only one who can see me. Don't bother pointing me out again."

The voice sounded like it was laughing at him.

It probably was.

Sora shook his head, and then started fighting some Heartless.


	14. A Bunch of Laughs

by the way, Flightfoot, ironically enough i beat FF7 the same day you asked (June 1st) i just didn't mention anything... don't remember why. If you would also care to know, I've started Crisis Core. Well, more than started. I just ran into Cloud for the first time, and Genisis is currently kicking my butt *sigh*

anyways! hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

><p>They were still fighting Heartless quite some time later.<p>

"Umm, guys!" Joseph shouted, sounding rather frantic. He was staring at his pocket, which had begun to glow. He quickly fished out the pulsing star shard.

"Crap," Sora muttered. He grabbed Riku by the wrist (much to Riku's displeasure) and lunged forward to grab Joseph before the star shard went off.

In a flash of light, they disappeared.

XXX

The three of them landed roughly on their butts, much to their displeasure.

"Give me the star shard," Sora muttered, holding out his hand. Or, rather, his paw. He had been transformed into a lion. He paused upon noticing this. Joseph started laughing.

"That is so cool!" he said, tossing the star shard to Sora. Sora caught it, though he wasn't sure where to put it. He no longer had pockets.

"What am I?" Joseph asked.

"Meerkat," Sora replied.

"Sweet!"

Riku laughed in disbelief at Joseph's slightly random upbeat attitude. However, it didn't take long for his laughter to go from quiet to completely uncontrollable. Upon realizing this, his hands (well, paws) flew to his mouth and he immediately stopped laughing. Sora and Joseph, however, were rolling with laughter by this point.

"What was-" Riku began, and then shook his head. "What am I?" he demanded.

"Dude," Sora gasped through his laughter. "You're a hyena!"

"WHAT!" Riku shouted. "Why am I a hyena!" He paused, clutching his stomach. "And why am I so hungry?"

"Don't eat me!" Joseph said frantically.

"I'm not going to eat you!" Riku replied.

Sora glanced around. "Where are we?" he asked.

"Some world called the Pride Lands," Joseph replied. When Sora and Riku turned to look at him, shocked, he merely shrugged. "Don't ask why I know that. I know a lot of random things. But, anyways, most of the people here are actually animals, which is why we've been transformed, I guess. It's so we'd blend in."

"That makes sense…" Riku muttered. "But that doesn't explain why I'm a _hyena!_"

Sora and Joseph burst out laughing again.

"Shut up!" Riku snapped. "Or I _will_ take a bite out of you."

Joseph shut up immediately. It took Sora a moment to quiet himself, but he managed.

"Come on," Riku muttered. "Let's go find some Heartless." He headed forward, a bit slow at first, trying to get used to the feel of walking on all fours. As soon as he got used to that, he broke off in a dead run.

"Hey!" Joseph called, and then turned to Sora, who was also not used to walking on all fours. "I can't walk that fast!"

"Get on my back," Sora muttered, pausing. Joseph hopped onto his back. "As soon as there's Heartless, though, you have to get down."

"Okay!" Joseph laughed.

XXX

They made their way through the Pride Lands, killing whatever Heartless that popped up as they went. Surprisingly, though, there weren't a lot of Heartless. This is why they eventually made their way into a place known as the Elephant Graveyard.

They hadn't made it that far in before they were stopped by three hyenas.

"Well, well, well, Banzai, what do we have here?" one asked, turning to another (who was probably called Banzai).

"I don't know, Shenzi," Banzai laughed to the first hyena. He then turned to the third. "What do you think, Ed?"

Ed just laughed.

"What do you want?" Riku snapped.

"Aw, nothing," Banzai laughed. "We were just hoping for a snack."

"And it sure looks like we found one," Shenzi said.

"Joseph-" Sora muttered.

"Way ahead of you," Joseph replied, hopping off Sora's back and finding a place to hide. He didn't have any means of fighting (not in this world, anyways) and didn't want to face three hyenas, even with Sora and Riku there.

"Are you planning on eating us?" Riku asked.

"Well, maybe not all of you," Shenzi replied. "But at least that little guy right there." She pointed to where Joseph had recently been, and then paused. "Wait, where'd he-"

Riku took this momentary confusion as a window to attack and lunged forward, knocking Shenzi to the ground.

"Right… so we're not talking our way out of this…" Sora sighed, and then attacked Banzai.

Ed stopped his laughing for a moment, trying to decide who would be the better target. He decided just to attack Riku in the end, because he was closer.

Riku managed to easily fend off Ed's attack, and continued to focus on Shenzi.

The next few minutes were filled with much scratching and biting.

Sora quickly dodged out of the way of one of Banzai's attacks. He paused a second, noticing something.

The darkness inside him was restless.

He shuddered.

This moment he was caught off guard, however, was the moment Banzai tackled him to the ground. A cry of pain escaped his mouth, and not in response to being tackled to the ground. It was in response to his darkness lashing out.

His form flickered, the darkness growing around him.

"Riku!" he shouted, terrified.

Riku skidded to a stop, and turned to where Sora was. His eyes widened in shock at the sight of the darkness, and he bolted over.

He stopped dead in his tracks as the darkness erupted from Sora, knocking the unfortunate Banzai aside. When the darkness faded, all Riku could do was stare in horror.

That wasn't Sora.

It couldn't have been.

What stood in Sora's place did look like Sora, but was darker, more like a shadow. Almost like an anti version of him. And while it was relatively humanoid in figure, its nature was more of an animal than the lion Sora had been previously.

"Sora!" Riku shouted, lunging forward.

Anti-Sora turned to Banzai, who yelped with fright and ran. Shenzi and Ed were slowly backing off too, before they also ran. Anti-Sora began to follow after them, bounding forward on all fours, but was knocked aside by Riku.

It turned to Riku, and he shuddered slightly as he met its gaze.

Anti-Sora's eyes were glowing yellow, like a Heartless.

_This can't be Sora… _Riku thought. _There's no possible way this is Sora…_

Anti-Sora leapt forward and attacked Riku with a flurry of scratches, kicks, and dark energy, most of which made contact with his face. Riku gasped and stumbled back. He could feel warm blood on his face, which he assumed was from a nasty scratch. But he ignored it and lunged forward, tackling Anti-Sora to the ground.

"Sora! Snap out of it!" he said frantically.

Sora's form began to flicker, morphing back into what it should have been. "So… cold…" he whispered, and his form flickered between lion and what might have been human, before settling on lion again.

"Joseph!" Riku shouted, glancing up. "Do you know where the star shard is?"

Joseph, who had emerged from his hiding place as soon as the hyenas were gone, nodded. "Yeah, I've got it."

"I thought you gave it back to Sora."

"He gave it back to me when he realized he didn't have anywhere to put it. And since I can't fight or anything…" Joseph trailed off. "Back to Castle Oblivion?" he asked.

"Hurry," Riku replied.

In a flash of light, the three of them disappeared.

XXX

They reappeared in Castle Oblivion, much to the shock of many Replicas standing about. Why? Well, Riku did still have Sora pinned to the ground. However, they had all returned to their human state.

"Are you all right?" Riku asked Sora.

"How about getting off?" Sora replied, smiling slightly.

Riku laughed, a tad nervously, and got to his feet. He held out a hand to help Sora up, which Sora took.

"What happened?" Riku asked.

Sora shook his head.

Riku frowned.

"Well…" Sora began, but paused, eyes widening in shock.

"What?" Riku asked.

"Your face…" Sora whispered.

Riku touched his cheek, which he just realized was hurting, and found blood. He slowly ran his fingers along the scratch, and winced.

"There's one on your forehead, too," Sora said.

Riku checked that one also, and winced again. It hurt.

"Did I do that?" Sora asked.

Riku quickly shook his head. "No," he lied. "It was one of the hyenas."

Sora looked as if he didn't believe him.

"I'm going to go clean these up," Riku muttered, walking off.

"Here," Joseph said, tossing the star shard to Sora. "Thanks for taking me," he laughed, before running off.


	15. 14 and The First Letter

another update!

i feel like i need to be saying something

oh! KKBeckett, I suppose I should answer your question. No, there is no particular rhyme nor reason to the numbers of my Vexen Replicas. I just pick a random number for each one, and then I have to remember who's who and stuff... yeah...

* * *

><p>Sora and Riku were making their way to the main room of Castle Oblivion. Riku's face was bandaged, though he wasn't acting as if it affected him. He hardly seemed to even notice the bandages.<p>

A Vexen Replica walked past them. Riku frowned slightly, watching him pass, before continuing on.

Sora paused suddenly.

"This is going to sound absolutely stupid," he muttered. "But has that chair always been there?" He pointed at a chair in the corner of the room that was just randomly placed there.

"Yeah," Riku replied. "Don't feel bad about not noticing it though. You're not the only one who hasn't noticed it. The only reason I know it's there is that I was originally programmed to take in every detail of the scene." He shuddered slightly as he said this. This blasted ability made any memory much more painful, as he could remember _every _detail. He shook his head, and then continued. "Take that Vexen Replica that just passed us for example. He was… limping… umm…" Riku muttered something under his breath that sounded very much like a swear word, and then threw the door open to the main room. "TRAITOR!" he shouted.

Everyone looked up at that moment, each glancing around to find this traitor. Riku cleared his throat and nodded in the direction of the Vexen Replica he was referring to. Most, but not all, of the Replicas jumped to their feet. A few pulled out their weapons.

Joseph came from nowhere and jumped onto the traitor's shoulders, effectively catching him off balance. Joseph began laughing maniacally.

"He has way too much fun…" Sora muttered.

Riku shrugged in response to that. He waited for a moment, until the traitor managed to throw Joseph off.

"That's my cue," he mused, drawing his blade. He rushed forward, pinning the traitor to the wall. "Did Saix send you?" he asked threateningly.

"Nice to see you, Riku," the traitor Vexen Replica sneered.

"Likewise, number 14," Riku replied. "Now what are you doing here?"

Vexen Replica number 14 remained silent.

"You should kill him!" Joseph shouted. "He's got a lot of guts to be showing his face here again after what he did! Oh forget killing him! Can I take a whack at him?" He had pulled out his wooden sword by this point. "Please? I want to- ow!"

29, who had made his way over to the commotion, had whacked Joseph upside the head.

"You aren't killing anyone," he said plainly, and then turned to Riku. "14 said anything yet?"

"He's being silent, as usual," Riku replied. "Should I kill him?"

"Please don't!" 14 cried, terror clearly evident in his voice. "Saix didn't send me!"

Riku raised his eyebrows. "Then who did?"

"It was- the Organization-" 14 gasped.

"There's a difference?" Sora asked, a bit surprised, but was ignored.

"And why did they send you?" Riku asked.

14 laughed nervously. "I was supposed to gather data on Sora," he said.

"What!" Sora gasped. "Why!"

14 shook his head, going back to remaining silent, and Riku sighed.

"We're not going to get any more out of him. Should I let him go?"

29 shrugged. "It's up to you," he muttered, dragging Joseph off.

"You should kill him!" Joseph cried. "Kill that filthy traitor! Kill- ow!" His cries were once again silenced by 29 whacking him. "That hurt!" he whined.

"If you would like, sir," one of the Marluxia Replicas said, approaching Riku. "I'll take care of him."

Riku shrugged. "Sure," he muttered, shoving 14 over to the Marluxia Replica. The Marluxia Replica quickly escorted him off.

"Why would he be collecting data on me?" Sora demanded, turning to Riku.

Riku shook his head. "I have no idea. I don't understand what the Organization's doing half the time. If I can, I'll ask Axel next time I see him, alright?"

"Whatever," Sora muttered. "But what was that about? What did he do?"

"Pretended to join us, and then nearly handed the Program over to Saix," Riku replied. "We barely managed to stop him."

"Is this something to do with the Rebellion?" Sora asked. "I haven't been seeing much of that while I'm here…"

"I know…" Riku muttered. "Saix has been quiet lately. A bit… too quiet…"

XXX

They were sitting on the Paopu tree in complete silence as they watched the sun set. Or, the sun was setting, they may not have actually been watching it set. Namine was completely focused in a picture she was drawing, while Kairi seemed lost in her own thoughts.

"Namine," Kairi said quietly after a moment.

"Hmm?" Namine asked, looking up from her picture.

"Are you worried about Riku?"

Namine paused for a second. "Well… no…" she replied after a moment. "He can take care of himself."

Kairi laughed. "I suppose that's true," she muttered. "I guess… I'm only asking because… I'm worried about Sora. I wonder if he's all right."

"You could write him a letter," Namine suggested.

Kairi frowned. "You think it would do anything?"

Namine shrugged. "It might. You never know."

"Would he get it if I sent it, though?"

Namine shook her head. "I have no idea. But it can't hurt to try, can it?"

"I suppose not…"

"Here," Namine said, tearing out a blank page from the back of her sketchbook. She handed the piece of paper to Kairi, and then searched for a pencil she wasn't using. After locating one, she handed it to Kairi.

Kairi took a second to think about what she was going to say. After a moment, she began to write the letter.

XXX

Sora

I really hope this letter reaches you alright. I just want to say, well… I'm not sure what I want to say. Namine suggested I write a letter, though I'm not sure if it's even a good idea. I can't even be certain if it will reach you or not.

I'll just make this short then. I'm worried about you and I hope that you're okay.

If you can write back, please do. You don't have to though. Just… just come home safely, got it?

- Kairi

XXX

He sat on the shore of a place known as the Dark Margin. He didn't have any particular reason _why_ he was sitting here, he could easily be sitting somewhere in any other world. But it didn't matter. Before long, he wouldn't have time to just be sitting around and doing nothing.

_I better enjoy it while it lasts_, he thought and then laughed. His laughter stopped as something hit his foot. He looked to see what it was.

It was a bottle, and the bottle had a message in it.

"Probably not for me…" he muttered, picking the bottle up. After a moment of examining it he just shrugged and opened the bottle and shook the message out. He unrolled it and then glanced over it.

"To Sora, eh?" he laughed, a grin forming on his face. "Maybe I was wrong…"

He read the letter again, carefully this time.

"Kairi…" he muttered. "Kairi… Kairi… I know the name. I do. Just… where from…?" He rubbed his head, eyes squeezed tightly shut as he tried to remember. Finally it came back to him, and he burst out laughing.

"Oh right! She's that girl Sora likes. This is about to get interesting…"

He slowly crumpled the letter up into a ball and tossed it back out to sea, where the waves quickly destroyed it.

* * *

><p>look who it is! It's that Shadow that Sora saw in Neverland. HI!<p>

don't worry, you'll be seeing more of him


	16. Holy Bananas!

whoo, sorry it took so long for an update. did it take long? I'm not sure... my summer has become a blur... anyhoo, I've been beating Crisis Core. And I beat it last night, and I've been out of it since

I wrote this a bit ago, just forgot to upload it (beating Crisis Core and all)

by the way, that shadow is not Roxas. Roxas is dead, sorry. I'm not sure where I mentioned that he is still alive, but he's not, and i'm sorry for the confusion. I will be sure to fix that, because he IS dead... I mean... I think I would know if he's still alive. Unless he's hiding somewhere at the back of my brain, and that would be weird...

anyways!

* * *

><p>"What's that?" Sora asked, gesturing at the piece of paper Riku was holding.<p>

"Nothing," Riku said, quickly folding the paper back up and starting to shove it in his pocket. Sora quickly snatched it from his hand though.

"Hey!" Riku shouted, turning to Sora in shock. "Why do people keep doing that?" he muttered.

"Maybe if you stopped trying to hide it," Sora replied, unfolding the paper.

It was the same piece of paper that Riku had been carrying around for a while. It was the picture of him and Namine.

Sora laughed slightly. "You know," he mused. "I've always seen Namine drawing, but this is the first time I've actually seen one of her pictures. It's good!"

"Yeah," Riku agreed quietly. "She is…"

Sora snorted, but did his best to cover it up with a cough. It didn't work too well, because Riku noticed.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked.

"Nothing," Sora replied, handing the picture back to Riku. Riku took it and quickly folded it up and stuck it in his pocket. "So, do we have anywhere in particular that we're heading this time?" he asked.

Riku shrugged. "23 mentioned a world that had a nasty Heartless infestation. Some place called 'Deep Jungle'. It's up to you though; we don't have to go there if you don't want to."

Sora shrugged. "I don't care." He pulled the star shard out of his pocket.

Riku groaned quietly. He didn't really like star shards. They made him sick. "Can I just take a dark corridor?"

"We may not end up in the same place," Sora replied. "I can't really control where the star shard spits me out. Especially not if I haven't been to the world before."

"I suppose you have a good point…" Riku muttered. "Let's just get this over with."

Sora activated the star shard and grabbed onto Riku's arm. In a flash of light they disappeared.

XXX

They landed rather nicely in the world that was probably Deep Jungle. It looked as if it would be called Deep Jungle. They _were_ in a jungle.

"That wasn't too bad…" Riku muttered.

"Apparently I can control it better than Joseph can," Sora said with a shrug.

"Good to-" Riku began, but stopped and raised his eyebrows.

A bunch of Heartless had suddenly appeared.

"Oh look, the welcoming committee," Riku laughed, drawing his blade.

"I guess we _are_ in the right world," Sora mused, drawing his own blade.

And the flurry of Heartless killing began.

After about… two minutes, Riku paused, as one of his bandages literally just fell off his face. He groaned, eliminated the rest of the Heartless in his area, and then bent down and picked the bandage up.

_Dang…_ he thought to himself. _I can't even bandage my own wounds properly… Though, I guess I never had to. Namine always-_

He stopped, and sighed, shoving the bandage into his pocket.

An idea occurred to him suddenly, and he laughed quietly to himself.

_I could always go home and ask her to bandage it for me. It would be a ridiculous reason, but a reason. Though… Sora would probably laugh at me. Maybe it's not a good idea…_

_Besides, if I went home, I'd have to explain what happened. I don't want to explain what happened, not really. I don't even want to admit that Sora was the one who- but… I can't just pass it off as a hyena scratch._

_Namine would notice._

_And even if she wouldn't… I don't want to lie to her. Not again._

A gunshot suddenly rang through the forest, drawing him out of his thoughts. Riku turned, trying to locate which direction it came from. Sora frowned, and killed a Shadow that was bothering him.

Another gunshot rang out. Riku turned again, still trying to locate exactly where it was coming from.

A third gunshot, followed by a fourth and a fifth.

"Come on!" Riku shouted, running off in the direction the gunshots had come from.

"Are you sure we should be going towards-" Sora began, and then sighed, following after Riku.

XXX

They stopped when they reached a clearing. In that clearing were several gorillas, quite a few Heartless, a man with a gun (whose name was Clayton), and a frantic looking girl (whose name was Jane). Clayton was shooting at the Heartless, though quite a few bullets nearly hit the gorillas.

"Mr. Clayton, be careful!" Jane shouted.

"I assure you, Miss Porter, I will not hit the gorillas," Clayton replied. He fired once again, but his bullet completely missed the Heartless and only narrowly missed a gorilla.

Sora frowned. There was something about Clayton…

"Should we help them?" Riku asked quietly, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Since when do you want to help people who you don't know?" Sora replied, grinning.

"Shut up," Riku muttered. He drew his blade and then rushed forward, destroying a few Heartless.

Sora rolled his eyes and followed.

"Don't worry, we won't hurt the gorillas," Riku said, swiping his blade through another Heartless.

Within just a few minutes all the Heartless were gone.

Once the Heartless were gone, all the gorillas walked off. Clayton glared at their retreating forms. Sora, noticing this, again frowned.

"Thank you," Jane said. "May I ask what your names are?"

They exchanged glances.

"Riku," Riku said gruffly.

"I'm Sora," Sora said, just as gruff.

"My name is Jane, and that's Clayton," Jane said. "We're here to study the gorillas."

"Hmph," Clayton muttered, walking off.

"Well, we're just passing through," Riku shrugged. "We should probably be heading off again."

"Alright then," Jane said. "Thanks again for getting rid of those creatures!"

"No problem," Riku muttered, walking away.

Sora followed after him.

Once they had reached a different clearing, Riku turned to Sora. "Should we go now? I think we've killed enough Heartless for today."

Sora didn't say anything for a moment, still deep in thought.

"Are you alright?" Riku asked.

"Didn't you see it?" Sora replied quietly, still thinking. "The darkness that was growing in his eyes. That man… Clayton… the darkness has almost consumed him…"

"What are you talking about?"

Sora turned to Riku. "I could see it clearly in his face. The darkness… it's manipulating him. He wants to hunt the gorillas, and the darkness is playing off just that. I don't know how to explain it, exactly, but I know what I'm talking about."

Riku sighed. "What are you suggesting?"

Sora shrugged. "Go make sure he doesn't cause trouble, I guess."

"Why?"

Sora just shrugged again. "In a way… it's sorta like I'm battling the darkness. Besides, he's got a gun. I don't like guns… especially not if the person who's wielding the gun is being controlled by the darkness."

"Are you positive he's being controlled?" Riku asked.

"Controlled… maybe, manipulated definitely," Sora replied.

"I guess you have a point…" Riku muttered, realizing he didn't like the idea of some guy with a gun being controlled by the darkness.

Another gunshot rang through the forest, causing both of them to jump.

"Come on," Sora said, running in the direction that the gunshot came from.

XXX

They hid in the bushes, not approaching Clayton quite yet. He was alone, so what he had shot at previously was a mystery. Though, the Clayton had probably just missed and had only scared the thing he had shot at, and the thing had been smart and had run off.

Sora frowned. "Maybe I was wrong…" he muttered.

Riku turned to him, eyebrows raised.

"Well… I can't see the darkness anymore. It's like it's faded," he explained.

Riku shrugged. "That may not mean anything," he said. "I mean, just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there, right?"

Sora nodded. "But I don't want to attack him if we're not sure. How can we be sure?"

Riku smiled. "Easy," he replied. He took a step forward, but not much farther, because Sora stopped him.

"What are you doing?" Sora asked.

Riku's smile slowly widened. "Just trust me, alright? And don't freak out. I don't want you getting hurt."

Sora frowned, but let Riku go.

Riku positioned himself in the center of the clearing and drew his blade.

"Hey!" he called, catching Clayton's attention. "I'm not going to let you hurt the gorillas!"

Clayton raised his eyebrows, unsure of what to say to that.

Riku's smile grew even wider, and he raised his blade, ready to attack. "What are you going to do, eh? I'm a threat, aren't I? Are you going to stop me?"

Clayton slowly raised his gun.

Riku banished his blade, grinning by this point. "Shoot me, then," he laughed.

Clayton fired.

* * *

><p>what! and a cliffhanger? man, you guys hate me, huh?<p>

funnily enough I mentioned beating Crisis Core, Roxas being dead, and nearly killed Riku all in the same chapter

YAY

don't worry, I'll fix this cliffhanger up soon


	17. Squirming Evil

Flightfoot, you have a good point. I just never thought of it like that. Sorry

* * *

><p>Clayton fired.<p>

The moment before the bullet hit him, Riku flashed into dark mode.

Riku gasped, clutching his chest and stumbling back in pain. After a moment he slowly pulled his hand away from the wound, and glancing at it he gasped in surprise. He staggered back again, his breath growing short.

Clayton slowly lowered his gun as Riku sunk to his knees, clutching the wound again.

Satisfied that Riku was no longer a threat, Clayton ran.

"Riku!" Sora shouted, running over. But something made him pause.

Riku was laughing.

"Namine would have killed me if she saw me do that," he said, rising to his feet.

Sora wasn't sure if to feel relieved or angry. "You scared me!" he shouted.

Riku just grinned, removing his hand from the "wound". There was no blood. "Are you kidding?" he laughed. "I was totally faking. I knew what I was doing. See, look?" He carefully picked the bullet out of his dark suit and then tossed it to the ground. "Not even a scratch. Well, a small scratch, but I'll live."

Sora shook his head in amazement. "Won't you have a hole in your dark suit now, though?"

"Nah, it'll repair itself," Riku laughed.

"It will?" Sora asked.

Riku nodded, and then shrugged. "I've learned to stop questioning the oddities of this suit."

Sora grinned. "Yeah, like the fact it has a skirt,"

"It does not have a-" Riku began, but paused as he looked down. His dark suit did indeed have something similar to a skirt. He didn't say anything for a moment. "Okay, fine, it does have a skirt," he said finally. "However, I don't think people care when I'm blasting them in the face with a dark aura."

"Good point…" Sora said slowly.

Riku flickered out of dark mode. "Well, we did answer our question about Clayton. Only someone being controlled by the darkness would shoot someone who was unarmed. That, or, he's just a complete idiot and a jerk. Either way, I think we need to get rid of him."

"Where'd he run off to?" Sora asked.

"Not a clue," Riku replied. "But he can't be that hard to find."

XXX

"Hey, I think we found him," Sora said, pointing through the bushes that they happened to be hiding behind. He quietly summoned his blade, and turned to Riku. "You ready for this?"

"Why don't you fight him alone?" Riku suggested.

Sora laughed. "Are you too scared or something?" he teased.

Riku frowned. "No, I just think you should fight him alone."

"Why?"

"Two reasons," Riku replied. "One: he probably thinks I'm dead. Two: How do you expect to get stronger if you can't fight a few things alone? Besides, he doesn't look like he'd be too hard to beat."

Sora sighed. "I guess…" he muttered.

"Hey, if anything goes wrong, I can jump in no problem and help you out," Riku said.

Sora grinned. "Nothing's going to go wrong," he replied, hopping to his feet and stepping out of the bushes.

Riku watched with little interest. Sora probably wouldn't need help, and if he did, he'd let Riku know. Riku sighed, and then started to reach into his pocket to pull out the picture. But then he decided against it. He didn't want it to get dirty.

Sora gasped in pain and Riku turned, gazing through a gap in the bushes. Sora had only been knocked back, but Riku still frowned.

_Maybe I'm pushing him too hard…_ he thought after a moment. _Though, I'm not making him fight alone against a giant Heartless or anything. It's just a guy with a gun. But still… Sora needs to fight at his own pace. I can't try to speed things up._

_ I need to stop trying to speed things up._

He sighed. He was only trying to speed things up so they could go home sooner. But… he was really the only one that was anxious to go home. Sora was worried, but Sora also had a lot of other things to worry about at the moment.

And, even so, there was still the Rebellion to worry about. He couldn't go home until he had finished helping them, too. And that could take a while.

_I wonder when I'll see Namine again. There's so many things I want to tell her- well- not really. I just want to talk to her. I don't care what it's about. She's probably drawn a ton of new pictures. I bet that's the first thing she'll show me when I get home. And then we'll talk about that for a while._

A smile slowly spread across his face.

_I would love that. _

He shook his head.

_But I need to worry about this first. This is more important right now. Helping Sora is more important._

Something made him pause. He could feel something. Something dark. He glanced up.

Clayton had summoned a Heartless.

_Now might be a good time to ask Riku for some help…_ Sora thought, eyeing the Heartless uneasily. It was a rather large Lurk Lizard. Clayton had also decided he would ride on its back. Sora opened his mouth, about to call for Riku, when-

"Too weak to fight him alone, are we?" a voice suddenly asked. "Or are we just too scared?"

Sora frowned. He knew that voice. It was the voice of that thing he had seen in Neverland.

"Leave me alone," he muttered.

"You sure? I could always help you," the voice replied.

"Whatever you are, I don't need your help, alright?" Sora spat, readying his blade. He had a feeling that whatever it was, he didn't want its help anyways. There was something about this thing that made him uneasy. He didn't like it.

"You're just scared!" the voice taunted. It sounded like it was laughing.

It probably was.

"Shut up!" Sora hissed.

"Need some help?" Riku asked, jumping into the battle.

Sora let out a small sigh of relief. "Not really," he laughed, trying to sound confident. He wasn't sure that it was working that well, though. "But if you want to help…" He turned to Riku and shrugged.

Riku laughed and shook his head, before rushing in and attacking the Heartless.

Sora dodged one of Clayton's bullets, and then jumped and swung at Clayton. His blade missed its original target, but he did land a nice blow to the Lizard's head, which he quickly turned into a combo.

"Nice one!" Riku called. He kept attacking the Heartless.

Sora figured it was best if he continued to go after Clayton.

With their combined efforts, it didn't take long to get rid of Clayton. They had managed to knock him off the Lurk Lizard, and it was only a matter of time before he would be defeated. And it wasn't that hard, actually. Riku had worn down the Lurk Lizard enough that it just collapsed. And it collapsed right on top of Clayton.

They both disappeared.

"Is he dead?" Riku asked, sounding a bit confused.

Sora wasn't paying attention. He could hear laughing.

The voice… it was laughing…

"I guess you're not the only pathetic thing around here!" it laughed.

Sora turned, angry, even though there was nothing there. Riku noticed and glanced over at him, curious.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked after a moment.

"Yeah," Sora nodded. "I just thought I-" he paused, remembering what the voice had told him back in Neverland. If he was the only one that could see the thing, then he was probably the only one who could hear it, too. "Nothing," he sighed finally, shaking his head.

The voice was laughing again.

"Let's just go home," Sora said, quickly, pulling the star shard out of his pocket.

* * *

><p>you didn't think i was actually going to kill Riku, did you? Are you kidding? Namine'd kill me...<p> 


	18. Something Has to Change

I think Namine killing me would hurt more. She doesn't know how to wield any weapon well enough to kill me in one swift strike. However... if Riku was upset enough, he'd MAKE my death extremely painful  
>oh dear...<p>

anyway! my sister wrote Vexen's research, again

OH! and i've hit the fifty page mark in a word document!

WHOOT

why is this such a big thing? Well, you do realize the Truth Hurts was only 45 pages. And Falling to Pieces had barely 83. Nothing's fair was only 12 pages, but it was supposed to be short... so...  
>Dead Inside is at fifty pages, and I haven't even gotten anywhere exciting yet<p>

enough rambling... enjoy the chapter!

* * *

><p>Vexen's Research: Report number 2<p>

Riku's getting antsy. I've observed that his connection with this New Namine is strong. And I've gathered that he has feelings of some sort towards her-whether they be affectionate or just merely the feeling of needing to protect her. Regardless, he has feelings toward her. And as a result of those feelings, he's missing her. Before, either he did not miss her as much, or he was better at compartmentalizing-so that his missing of her did not interfere with his helping Sora overcome the darkness in his heart. But now he's getting distracted. That's not like my Riku to get distracted over something like this. I can't make any conclusions regarding this, however, until I meet this New Namine. If only I had an idea of where she was, but Riku is intent on keeping _that_ information classified.

XXX

A few days had passed. Everything was the same for Sora and Riku (minus the fact that Riku's wounds had healed) Every day, they'd just go out, kill Heartless, and come back. Joseph offered to get them ice cream once, but only Sora accepted the offer.

_That's something else different… _Sora thought. _Riku. There's something different about Riku…_

As the days wore on, Sora had begun to notice something. Riku was starting to have trouble focusing. He would space out randomly, sometimes while in the middle of fighting Heartless. Sora had to start saving Riku from Heartless that were sneaking up on him.

_It's funny…_ Sora thought. _He used to be the one saving me. What's changed, huh?_

Sora stopped as he entered the main room of Castle Oblivion and glanced over to where Riku was sitting. He groaned slightly, noticing that Riku was looking at the picture again. That's all he would do when they got back. Sit down on his couch, pull out that picture, and stare at it for hours.

_I know what's changed, _Sora thought with a sigh. _He's been thinking about Namine more. He must miss her a lot. But still, this is insane._

_ I've got to do something…_

"He's doing it again," Sora muttered, noticing Joseph walk buy. Just as he had thought, Joseph stopped dead in his tracks and frowned.

"Doing what?" Joseph asked.

Sora nodded in the direction of Riku. Joseph only needed to take one look.

"Oh…" he muttered. "Do you want me to go distract him!" He asked, already running off to do so.

Sora grabbed him by the collar of his shirt before he got far.

"Don't," he said. Joseph frowned, but nodded. Sora let him go, and then sighed.

"I just wish there was some way we could help him…"

Joseph turned to look at Sora. "Like what?" he asked, and then frowned, suspicious. "This doesn't have to do with our bet, does it?"

"Of course not!" Sora exclaimed. "This is me worrying about the fact Riku _can't focus_. He's too busy thinking about how much he misses Namine to do anything properly."

"Yeah, now that you mention it… It's a tad weird," Joseph noted. "He's never been like this before."

"I bet it's because he's not so focused on finding me," Sora muttered.

"And… you feel bad?" Joseph asked.

Sora shrugged, and then just nodded. "Yeah. I'm the _only_ thing standing between him and her."

"That's gotta be a sucky thing to know…" Joseph agreed. And then he frowned. "I shouldn't be helping you, cause of the bet, but…" he glanced over at Riku again, and sighed. "It's for Riku. So what do you suggest we do?"

Sora shrugged. "Do you think I could just stick my star shard on him and it'll just take him home?"

Joseph considered that for a moment, and then shook his head. "No. You have to consciously activate one. And when they go off randomly, well, they go off randomly. It could take you anywhere." He got quiet for a moment, and then brightened when he thought of something. "I could always shove him through a dark corridor!"

Sora laughed at that. "Wouldn't he get mad at you, though?"

Joseph burst out laughing, just thinking about it. After a moment, his laughter settled. "No," he replied. "He'd probably run into Namine first thing, and he'd be so happy about seeing her that he'll just forget that I shoved him through a dark corridor. Or he'd be too happy to care."

Sora laughed again. "Are you kidding?"

Joseph shook his head. "Nope!" he laughed. "Totally, honestly, not kidding. I've done it before. Well, not _exactly_ that, but something like that. It's the easiest way to make him forget he's angry. And it's fun!"

Sora rubbed his head in disbelief at Joseph. "Wow…" he muttered. "Well, I'll try and talk to him today. Maybe I can convince him to go home. If not, then that's a good Plan B."

"Sweet!" Joseph exclaimed, punching the air with his fist in excitement. "I've always wanted to shove Riku through a dark corridor!"

"Oh dear…" Sora sighed, wondering what he had just done.

XXX

He was still in the dark margin.

He was _still_ in the dark margin.

"Dangit!" he shouted suddenly. He was sick of staying here.

He reached out, forming a dark corridor, and he was about to step through-

"Wait… no…" he muttered. "I can't go now. It's not time yet."

He lowered his hand, and the dark corridor fizzled out of existence.

He sighed, and then in his frustration kicked a nearby rock. It didn't go very far, but it did land near something of interest.

A smile slowly formed on his face and he walked over to it.

"My, my," he mused, slowly summoning his blade. "That's the third one I've found today." He stabbed the letter with his blade, and then picked it up. As usual, it was addressed to Sora, and it was from Kairi.

"Someone's getting desperate," he laughed.

XXX

Vexen Replica number 17 sighed.

_Why did I have to get stuck with this job?_ He groaned.

"Are the orders clear?" 37 asked.

"Yes," 17 replied. "I capture Namine, I bring her back here. Easy."

"And remember, you mustn't harm her," 37 said. "That would just be asking for trouble."

_Technically, capturing her is just asking for trouble,_ 17 thought. _I don't understand this at all! I should have just gone rouge…_

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "I got it."

"Remember, she can form dark corridors, too. Capturing her may not be as easy as you might think."

_Now he tells me…_

_ Whatever, I got myself into this mess, I might as well just go along with it._

"I think I'll be fine," 17 said, forming a dark corridor.

"Don't underestimate her!" 37 called, and then groaned. "We should have sent someone else…"


	19. A Favor

I'm really excited! I'm not sure if it's just because I've finally gotten to this point or that Riku's excitement is rubbing off on me.

huh. oh well

* * *

><p>They were in Wonderland. There wasn't a clear reason why they were in Wonderland. They just were. It seemed like a good place to randomly slaughter Heartless for some odd reason. Maybe it was because of all the… unique Heartless here. There were a lot of the Music Heartless here, "Music" being a nickname Joseph had given the family of Heartless, which consisted of flying Heartless that all had names that had to do with music. Therefore, the nickname was fitting, and a nice way to group them together.<p>

"Isn't it nice to see some different Heartless after a while?" Sora asked, glancing over at Riku. Riku remained entirely silent, completely lost in thought. He was still managing to fight, but it wasn't quite up to his usual standard.

Sora destroyed a Red Nocturne and then lowered his blade.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"What?" Riku said, looking up. He was quiet for a moment, still processing the question. "Oh, yeah. I'm-I'm fine. I just… I don't think I got enough sleep last night, that's all. I kept having weird dreams and-" he stopped. "Never mind…" he muttered. "It's not important."

"If you want to tell me about your weird dream, go ahead," Sora said, turning and attacking the random group of Scarlet Tangos that appeared behind him.

"I don't remember most of it," Riku replied roughly. "So forget it, alright?" He brought his blade crashing down on a nearby Grey Caprice, killing it instantly.

Sora raised his eyebrows. It took him a couple of hits to get rid of those guys, usually. And he and Riku had become quite even in terms of strength. However, Riku was obviously still stronger.

"You miss her a lot, don't you?" Sora asked, pausing once again in his killing of Heartless. Riku only replied with a grunt that Sora had learned to take as a yes. Sora sighed, and then returned to killing Heartless.

_He's still not focusing… I really need to figure out how I'm planning on doing this… I have no idea how I'm supposed to tell him that I think he needs to go home for a bit. Maybe it WOULD have been easier just to have Joseph shove him through a dark corridor._

He glanced over at Riku again, who was only just managing to hold his own, which still was very unusual.

_This is getting ridiculous,_ Sora thought. _I need to talk to him sooner rather than later…_

Riku was killing Heartless without really trying. He was just swatting at them so they wouldn't kill him. His thoughts were not at all on anything to do with Heartless, but most definitely on Namine.

_I wonder if she'd listen to that odd dream. I mean… I've never told her about my dreams before, but… they've all been nightmares. All the ones I can remember, anyways. _He shook his head._ No… this dream was too… weird. I don't think she'll listen._

_ Besides, by the time I'd see her again… I'll have forgotten about this dream. So I guess it doesn't matter._

_ Unless I were to go home sometime soon…. But, no, I can't do that. What would they say? Whoever… they are…. Joseph would probably insist on going too, because he's just like that. I don't know what Sora would think. And, I'm not sure about the Vexen Replicas either._

_ It's not like I've needed to go home before this._

_ I've barely even thought about it…_

_ But- I-_

_ It was never this bad before. I didn't start feeling like this until…_

He sighed, and slowly sat down on a rock. He almost reached into his pocket to pull out the picture, but didn't, again. It wasn't the first time he had thought about it while being in the Worlds. But… as usual… he didn't want to get it dirty.

Or… have it get destroyed by some random Heartless.

He closed his eyes. He didn't really need the picture anyways. He had stared at it long enough that he had memorized what it looked like. He knew every little detail by now. Every stray pencil mark, every little part that hadn't been colored in completely.

He could remember when she had given it to him. It had been forever ago, before Sora had fallen into Darkness even, while they were all still on the Islands.

_"Hey," Namine called, running up to him. "I want you to have this." She handed him the picture._

_ Riku took it, looked it over, and then smiled. "It's wonderful!" he said, turning to her. "Thank you!"_

_ She glanced down at her feet. "Well… actually…" she muttered, sounding nervous. "I'm only giving it to you because the page fell out of my sketchbook… I hope you don't mind…"_

_ "Why would I mind?" Riku laughed. "In fact, I'm kind of glad it fell out of your sketchbook. I love it! It's an amazing picture."_

_ She blushed. "I'm glad you like it," she said, still sounding nervous. "It's not perfect… I'm terrible at drawing noses. I had to redraw them like… ten times."_

_ "It looks fine," Riku told her, before she could say anymore._

"Oi!" Sora called, dragging him out of his thoughts. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Riku nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," he insisted. "I'm just… tired, that's all."

Sora rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he muttered. "Well, I think I've killed all the Heartless in this area. We should be moving on."

"Yeah."

Riku stood up, and they moved on to a different area.

XXX

"Riku! Focus!" Sora shouted, destroying a Heartless that had snuck up on Riku.

"Sorry…" Riku muttered.

Sora frowned. Riku was _really_ out of it.

He never apologized for something as small as this.

"That Heartless nearly took your head off!" Sora shouted. "You need to start focusing! I can't keep coming to save your butt!"

"I just… I feel like… I don't feel right," Riku muttered, rubbing his head. "Something's just… something's not right. I don't know what… but… I- never mind. It's probably nothing."

"Do you want to go back to Castle Oblivion?" Sora asked.

"No, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. Just continue with… whatever it is…"

Sora rolled his eyes and returned to killing Heartless.

Riku frowned. He killed a few of the Heartless in his area, most of which were Pink Concertos, for some reason. They were really annoying, he decided, even though he was hardly even thinking about it.

_Something's not right…_

_ I don't know what it is… but something just isn't right. Something's wrong, somewhere._

_ Namine…_

_ I hope she's alright._

_ I wonder what could be wrong…_

He was slowly starting to panic.

_No, she's probably fine,_ he told himself, shaking his head. _I'm probably just… I don't know._

_ But, hey, that would be a nice reason to go home. A legit one, too. That I was worried about her, and I thought something was wrong. If something IS wrong, then I can deal with it. If not, well, I get to see her._

_ That would be nice…_

Sora groaned. Riku was hardly fighting. Thankfully, though, the amount of Heartless were slowly beginning to dwindle. He finished off the last few and then walked over to Riku.

"Riku," he said.

He received no response.

"Really?" he muttered in disbelief. "Riku!" he called louder.

"Yeah? What?" Riku asked, looking around frantically. He seemed really out of it.

_Might was well just tell him now,_ Sora sighed. "Listen, Riku, can you do me a favor? As soon as we're done here, go home."

"What?" Riku asked, sounding a lot less out of it with that.

"You don't need to stay for long or anything," Sora continued to explain. "Just go home and talk to Namine for a bit, yeah?"

Riku was silent for a moment.

_Sora's telling me to go home… _he thought.

_Sora's TELLING me to go home._

A smile slowly spread across his face.

_I don't need a reason, then, Sora's got it covered…_

He shook his head.

_No, I can't do that…_

"I'm fine," he insisted once again.

Sora rolled his eyes. _No you're not… _he thought.

"Riku," he sighed. "I've kept you away from her for four months. I know you miss her. Just go home, talk to her, and come back."

"You haven't kept me away from her," Riku said quickly. "It's not at all like that!"

"Then why don't you go home?" Sora asked.

Riku sighed. "Well, you see… I promised I'd bring you home. I can't go home without you. It would be like I broke that promise…"

"Tell them I insisted," Sora suggested. "Because I _am_ insisting."

_Sora's INSISTING I go home, _Riku thought. _This is the chance I've been waiting for. I should- but I can't. I can't… that would be selfish._

"I don't know…" he said.

"Are you telling me you don't want to see her?" Sora asked.

"What! No! Of course not!" Riku replied quickly. "I-I mean, of course I want to see her! I want that more than anything…"

"Then go home for a bit," Sora said again. "I'll wait for you to come back, if it makes you feel better."

_It really doesn't…_ Riku thought with a sigh. _It makes me feel like I'm being selfish even more…_

_ But I want to go home._

_ Sora's given me the perfect chance…_

_ I really-_

"Ow!" he gasped, a sudden wave of pain shooting through his head. He clutched his head, trying to get it to stop.

It was another one of those headaches.

"Are you okay?" Sora asked.

Riku nodded. "Yeah, just give me a minute," he muttered, rubbing his head.

The pain was beginning to fade quickly, much to his relief.

_Something's not right…_

"There's something wrong," he said after a moment, mainly to himself. "I feel like… like I need to be at Castle Oblivion. There's something wrong in Castle Oblivion."

He shook his head, as if to clear it.

"Well, why don't we finish up here," he suggested. "And then we'll see what's up in Castle Oblivion, and then… and then I'll go home."

"Thank you!" Sora said with a grin.

Riku nodded.

_I don't know why he's thanking me. I should be the one thanking him…_

_ I can't believe it! I'm going to go home and see Namine!_

_ And… I have a good reason for it, too._

_ This is really exciting, actually._

He paused, clutching his stomach, which felt like it had flipped.

_Why am I so nervous?_ He wondered. _This is weird. I've never felt like this before…_

_ It's different._

_ I'm not sure if I like it…_

"Riku!" Sora called, pulling him out of his thoughts again. Heartless had started popping up again.

"I'm on it!" Riku replied, readying his blade.

For the first time all day, he felt a lot better.

However, the feeling better didn't last long.

Soon, it was replaced by the nagging feeling that something wasn't right.

Sora noticed quickly.

"Are you alright?" he asked, yet again.

And, yet again, Riku nodded.

Still, yet again, Sora rolled his eyes, not believing him one bit.

It was about that time that a giant Heartless dropped into the room.

Literally, it dropped into the room.

This was the Trickmaster.

"You ready Riku?" Sora asked with a grin.

_No…_ Riku thought. But he replied yes.

_It will be alright…_ Riku told himself, dodging out of the way of one of the Trickmaster's attacks and taking a swing at it. _We'll smash this Heartless, and then figure out what's up with Castle Oblivion, and then I get to go home._

_ And I'll get to see Namine._

That thought comforted him, but not for long.

"It's got fire!" Sora shouted, glaring at the Trickmaster, which did indeed have fire. "That's not fair!"

"Yeah…" Riku muttered, and then jumped out of the way of a fireball that was shot at him.

_It will all be alright,_ he told himself again. _I'm going to see Namine after this._

_ And I'll tell her this ridiculous story._

_ And then we'll both laugh…_

_ That'll be fun._

_ But…_

Riku paused, frowning.

The more he thought about Namine, the more the feeling that something wasn't right grew.

He was beginning to worry.

He was distracted enough that the Trickmaster knocked him back. Not far, and he had been lucky enough to avoid the fire.

But it had still knocked him back.

_Something isn't right…_

_ Namine…_

_ Is she okay?_

"Riku!" Sora shouted, sounding annoyed. "Focus, remember!"

"Yeah, I got it," Riku replied.

But he wasn't focusing on the Trickmaster.

The feeling that something wasn't right was continuing to grow, and his head was beginning to hurt again.

He rushed forward, attacking the Trickmaster a couple of times.

_Something's not right…_

He paused again.

_I feel like I need to be…_

He opened a dark corridor, and then turned to Sora.

"Sora, I'm sorry," he said, though the likeliness that Sora had actually heard him was slim. "I can't focus…"

Sora turned to him, and sighed.

"Can you handle this alone?" Riku asked, louder, so Sora could hear him.

Sora said nothing for a moment.

But finally, he just smiled. "Go on," he called. "Mr. Impatient…"

Riku laughed slightly, even though that wasn't at all what he was thinking about. Something else was more important at the moment. There was something wrong.

Something terribly wrong.

He stepped through the dark corridor.


	20. 17 and the First Meltdown

I

So... I had this done... and I figured I'd upload it now, just so you guys wouldn't kill me =P

oh, and I'm sure none of this turned out like you expected =D

* * *

><p><em>About an hour previously<em>

The sound of a dark corridor startled her out of her thoughts. It had been a while since she had heard a dark corridor. She turned, almost expecting to see Riku. However, it was only a Vexen Replica. She let out a small sigh of disappointment.

"Ah, Namine!" the Vexen Replica laughed, as the dark corridor closed behind him. "You weren't nearly as hard to find as I thought you would be!"

Namine slowly got to her feet. "What number are you?" she asked.

"17," the Vexen Replica replied.

"Do you… know Riku…?" Namine asked slowly.

17 nodded. "Yes… I do know him."

"Did he send you?"

17 was silent for a moment, as if he was thinking about something. "Ah, yes!" he replied finally. "He did, in fact, send me."

"He did!" Namine asked, excitement ringing in her voice.

17 paused a second, his fake smile faltering.

_Wow…_ he thought quietly. _That hurt me, a bit, lying like that._

_ There's something about her…_

_ Never mind about that,_

"Come, I'll take you to him," 17 said.

Namine smiled, and then nodded, quickly gathering up her sketchbook. Once she had gathered up her things, she ran up to 17 and stared at him expectantly. "Come on! Let's go!" she said.

"Too easy…" 17 muttered quietly to himself, opening up a dark corridor and starting to step through.

Namine paused, smile falling. That last comment hadn't gone unheard.

She quietly took two steps back, glaring at the dark corridor. 17 poked his head back out after a moment.

"Are you coming?" he asked, voice kind again.

"You tricked me!" Namine shouted. "And I'm not quite sure if I'm angrier at you for doing so, or angrier at myself because I believed you…"

17 frowned. "I need to learn to stop thinking out loud…" he muttered. "But fine, we'll do this the hard way…"

Namine took another two steps back. "I don't understand why you want me to go with you, but I'm definitely not coming, especially not after you lied to me like that. That wasn't very nice!"

"I suppose I've never been very nice," 17 replied with a shrug.

Namine opened up a dark corridor and darted through.

She emerged in a different world. What world, she didn't care to take note of. 17 had followed her rather quickly. She frowned, and opened another dark corridor and ran through that one.

About five worlds later, she was starting to get annoyed. And tired.

_Why won't he leave me alone?_ she thought angrily. _And more importantly, why does he want to kidnap me?_

_ This stinks…_

She quickly formed another dark corridor and left this world, hoping to outrun him. 17 had begun to take longer in finding what world she had run off to. She paused, and groaned slightly. She had ended up in an in-between world (known as Betwixt and Between).

However, she wasn't nearly as lucky as she hoped she would be. Almost immediately a dark corridor opened next to her and 17 walked out.

"I didn't want it to come down to this," 17 muttered, drawing his shield. "But… if it must."

Namine quickly took a couple of steps back to put distance between them. However, it appeared she didn't need to, as a flaming chakram almost literally came out of nowhere and whacked 17 in the gut, sending him flying.

"Yo! Namine!" a voice called.

She turned, a bit shocked. A man with flaming red hair was standing before her.

"Name's Axel, got it memorized?" he said.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

He seemed familiar…

Axel shrugged. "You might."

17 had regained his strength and was rising to his feet. Namine unconsciously took another step back.

Axel formed a dark corridor next to her. "Go!" he told her.

She raised her eyebrows, unsure.

"You'll just have to trust me," Axel said. "Now go!"

Namine nodded, and stepped through.

Axel watched her go, and then turned to 17, who had crossed most of the distance between them in that time. "Hey!" he called. "How's it going?"

"It was going fine until you showed up," 17 replied gruffly.

"It was?" Axel asked, pretending to sound surprised. "I am terribly sorry. But… you know… I'm not quite sure if I agree with you. I mean, you remember the orders, don't you?"

17 glared.

"'You mustn't harm her,' I believe they were," Axel said.

"I wasn't going to hurt her," 17 replied.

"Oh really?"

"I was simply going to knock her unconscious so I could drag her back to HQ without any more problems," 17 explained. "I was getting tired of chasing her."

"What were you going to do to cover that up?" Axel asked. "Blame it on a memory meltdown?"

"Ooh! That's not a bad idea!" 17 exclaimed.

Axel faltered for a moment, suddenly disgusted. If he had liked 17 before, he certainly didn't now.

_I wonder if he'll get punished for this. Though, knowing Saix, he probably will be._

_ I wonder if he'll be killed…_

Usually, Axel never liked it when Saix just killed a Replica because they messed up. However, based on the behavior 17 was showing, he wasn't sure if he minded.

And, even if Saix didn't kill him, Riku certainly would.

Axel dragged himself back into reality and clucked his tongue. "What a shame," he sighed, pretending as if it actually was one. "It seems she's gotten away, and you won't be able to catch up to her now. I'm sure Saix won't be happy."

"It's your fault," 17 replied. "I had everything under control!"

"As I've already said, I'm sorry," Axel laughed calmly. "However, I couldn't have you hurting her, could I? Things would have turned out terribly for all of us."

"What? Do you think Riku would have found out or something?"

"Riku has a nasty habit of finding out these sorts of things," Axel replied. "And I'm sure if Namine had been harmed, he would have found out a lot sooner."

"Yes… he does… doesn't he?" 17 muttered. "And why is that?" He looked at Axel with eyebrows raised. "Do you know anything, Axel?"

_The way he asked that… is he catching on to me?_ Axel wondered.

_Though, it's not like it matters. No one would believe him anyways if he started going off about me being a traitor._

_ I think…_

_ Maybe it would be better if I just destroyed him…_

_ He was going to get himself killed anyways, at the rate he's going._

Axel summoned his chakrams casually.

"Aha!" 17 exclaimed. "You're a double-agent, aren't-"

His sentence wasn't finished. Axel ended it by throwing a chakram at him, and it hit him in the face.

XXX

Namine found herself in Castle Oblivion. "Of all places…" she muttered, and then gasped, a wave of pain hitting her hard. A memory accompanied it.

"Really?" she groaned, tears already beginning to form in her eyes.

She was sick of this...

_He was standing in a hallway similar to this one. One of the halls of Castle Oblivion. Namine recognized him instantly._

_It was Riku._

_But the memory was…_

_Different._

_Riku looked around, seeming confused. "Where am I…?" he asked aloud._

_'I don't remember this place,' he thought to himself_

_A door opened, and someone came running towards him._

_Namine recognized Sora immediately._

"_Riku! If it isn't Riku!"_

_'The owner of that voice is—Sora..' Riku thought. 'And my name is Riku.'_

_What's going on? __Namine wondered. It was like Riku was having trouble remembering his own name. And remembering Sora._

_This is so weird… __she settled on finally._

'_My memories feel horribly vague for some reason,__' thought Riku__. __(And Namine agreed with that).__ '__Why… am I here?' he wondered slowly._

"_So you're here too!" Sora shouted, running over._

"'_Too'? You say that like looking for me was something on the side," were the words that slid from Riku's mouth, and he snorted at Sora even as he felt uneasy._

Namine was beginning to feel uneasy.

'_We were… separated, yes. And we… looked for each other… I think. And now, we're looking for Naminé. That's definitely the summary… Summary?'_

_Summary?_ Namine thought, also. _And what is he talking about, anyways?_

Even if the memory hurt, she was still slightly coherent.

For the moment.

_Sora turned away. "…That's not what I meant…" he muttered._

"_Huh, don't make excuses. The truth is, you forgot about me, didn't you?" Even as he spoke, Riku couldn't hide the irritation he felt about his own memories._

_What memories?_ Namine wondered. _I don't understand what's going on here…_

"_No way! I came all this way looking for you!" Sora shouted._

"_But not anymore," Riku replied. _He still sounded angry. Namine was still wondering why._ "Right now, you just want to meet Naminé. You didn't care what was happening to me anymore, did you?"_

"_You're wrong!" Sora yelled._

_What are they talking about? _Namine thought. _When did this even happen?_

She gasped in pain again, sinking to her knees as the single memory became a flood and no longer understandable, as it always seemed to do. She squeezed her eyes shut.

It hurt.

She was definitely sick of this.

"Namine!" someone called, sounding rather surprised.

Somehow, that voice managed to cut through the memories for a split second. She opened her eyes, seeing a boy about eleven kneeling next to her.

"Who-?" she managed to ask, but nothing more. The memories were rising up again.

"Sorry, I'm Joseph!" the boy laughed, and then frowned. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Y-yeah," Namine said, struggling to fight the memories off.

For some reason, she wanted to talk to this boy.

He didn't seem to believe her, but he didn't say anything.

"How- how did you know my name?" Namine asked. The words were a bit uneven as they came out, but they came out surprisingly well considering the fact she had a ton of painful memories pounding against her skull. Still, she was managing to push them aside.

"Riku talks about you a lot," Joseph replied. "Especially recently. I think he misses you a lot. Me and Sora were considering shoving him through a dark corridor back home, or… your home. Not my home. This is my home. Anyways, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you! He should be back soon."

Namine smiled slightly.

"Riku's here…" she muttered.

It was impossible for her to hold back the memories any longer, and she just collapsed.

* * *

><p>in case you were wondering, that particular memory I got from the novel, which you can read at h e a r t s t a t i o n . o r g<p>

the site itself is down for updates, but the novels are still there and a good read. thank you flightfoot for mentioning them to me! I should have mentioned them sooner, but I forgot. Oh well


	21. In the Way

don't worry my dear readers, you'll find out who that shadow is soon

* * *

><p><em>Present time<em>

Riku stepped out of the dark corridor and glanced around. He was in Castle Oblivion. Everything seemed to be alright. He frowned. Even his head was beginning to clear.

_Was all of that… just nothing?_

_ I could have sworn something was wrong._

"Riku!" Joseph shouted, running up to him and grabbing him by the arm. "C'mon you need to see this! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Joseph tried to drag him, but Riku stayed firmly put.

"Joseph, I don't have time for this," Riku said with a groan. "I need to figure something out."

"No! You really want to see this Riku!" Joseph insisted. "This is really exciting!"

"What is it?" Riku asked.

"It's a surprise!" Joseph laughed.

Riku groaned. "Fine, whatever," he muttered, allowing Joseph to drag him off.

The sooner he saw whatever it was Joseph wanted him to see the sooner he could figure out what was going on.

"C'mon Riku!" Joseph said, as he continued to drag him through the seemingly endless halls of Castle Oblivion. "You should be more excited than that! Though… maybe not…" Joseph slowed down slightly. "29 said she'd be alright, but I'm not quite sure. And I'm really sorry! I mean, it's not my fault, but I still feel bad. She just collapsed, I didn't-"

"Who did?" Riku asked, stopping in his tracks. "Who are you talking about?"

Joseph burst out into a grin, as if he had a great secret.

"Joseph, this isn't funny," Riku said sternly. "Tell me what's going on!"

Joseph dragged him about another two feet and then paused. "Go on," he laughed, gesturing at the door they were standing in front of.

Riku frowned at Joseph, and then opened the door. Joseph practically shoved him through after that, apparently really excited.

Riku started to say something about that, but instantly paused.

In the room was nothing more than a single bed.

And in that bed was Namine.

She was sound asleep.

But she was here.

A smile slowly spread across Riku's face.

"I told you that you wanted to see this!" Joseph laughed.

"Yeah…" Riku muttered, too happy to be annoyed anymore.

"So… umm… is she going to be okay?" Joseph asked, sounding nervous.

"What?" Riku said, pulling himself back to reality. "Oh, yeah. She'll be fine. I mean, what happened before she collapsed?"

"I was talking to her," Joseph replied. "She seemed a bit out of it though… and in pain. But she insisted she was fine."

"Of course she did," Riku laughed. "Yeah. She'll be fine. She might not wake up for a while, but she'll be fine."

"Okay!" Joseph said, sounding much happier. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" He sounded as if he was teasing as he said this, but Riku didn't notice.

"If you want to," he shrugged.

"I think I will," Joseph muttered, heading out. "Oh! But before I go, do you want me to get you anything?"

"Actually… yeah," Riku said. "Can I have a chair?"

"Sure thing!" Joseph laughed, running off.

XXX

"Yeah sure," Sora muttered. "Just leave me with a giant Heartless, I don't mind one bit, no, not at all."

Thankfully, the Trickmaster hadn't been hard to kill. It had actually been a bit easier after Riku left, but only because he didn't have to focus for the both of them (and he wasn't about to tell Riku that). He fished the star shard out of his pocket and sent himself back to Castle Oblivion.

A Vexen Replica was standing in front of him when he arrived.

"Hello again, kind sir," the Vexen Replica said. "Would you like some tea?"

Sora frowned at the randomness of that question. "Umm… no thanks…" he muttered.

"Alright then," the Vexen Replica shrugged, and then walked off.

"Sora!" Joseph called, running over. "Was 6 bothering you?"

Sora shook his head. "Has Riku left yet?" he asked.

"I don't think we could get him to leave now if we tried," Joseph laughed.

Sora paused in shock. "What do you mean?" he asked, sounding a bit frantic. "Did something happen?"

Joseph just continued to laugh. "Namine showed up," he replied. "I think Saix tried to kidnap her. Well, it probably wasn't Saix. He doesn't do any dirty work unless he has to. He probably sent a Vexen Replica after her or something." He shrugged. "Anyways, Namine ended up here, and then she collapsed… Riku hasn't left her side since."

"Oh…" Sora muttered, face falling. "Of course."

"Is something wrong?" Joseph asked.

"What? Oh. No, nothing's wrong," Sora replied.

_Nothing that he would understand…_

_ If Namine's here… then…_

_ I'm just in the way again._

"Okay then!" Joseph said. "Well, 19 offered to get me ice cream. I'm a bit surprised… Anyway, do you want to come?"

Sora shook his head. "Not in the mood. Thanks anyways, though."

"You're welcome!" Joseph laughed, running off.

Sora groaned.

_What am I supposed to do now? I don't want to be between them anymore…_

_ Though, maybe it will be alright. I suppose if Namine's here, Riku won't be missing her anymore, and he'll be able to focus…_

_ But really, do I still need his help?_

_ I don't know…_

"Look behind you…"

Sora tensed. It was that shadow again.

_If I ignore him, he'll go away._

_ I'm not looking!_

"Are you too scared?" the shadow laughed.

At that, Sora turned around.

About twenty feet behind him stood a dark figure. He couldn't make out any distinct details, or a face. But he knew it was smiling at him.

The shadow burst out laughing.

And all though it was twenty feet away, Sora could hear it as if they were only two feet apart.

Sora's eyes narrowed into a glare.

"Bet you can't catch me," the shadow taunted, before turning around and taking off at a dead run.

Without thinking, Sora took off after him.

A few Replicas glanced up at him, but none of them said anything.

The shadow was fast. Freakishly fast. Sora could hardly keep up with him. The shadow ran through the halls of Castle Oblivion, turning so frequently that Sora was starting to believe that it had no idea where it was going.

It was only playing with him.

Soon enough, Sora was out of breath. He paused a second, and the shadow paused in front of him, still grinning. It started laughing maniacally after a moment, and then started running again.

"Get back here you!" Sora shouted, starting to run after it.

Someone grabbed onto his arm, holding him back. Sora turned to see who it was.

It was Joseph.

"Sora," Joseph said quietly. "There's no one there."

Sora turned.

The shadow was gone.

"Dangit…" Sora muttered.

"Are you okay?" Joseph asked, taking a bite of his probably recently acquired ice cream.

Sora nodded.

Joseph shrugged and then walked off.

Sora turned to glare at where the shadow had been. "Just who the heck is he, anyway?" he wondered aloud.

_That would be another problem… that shadow. I need to figure out who he is. But if I'm the only one who can see him, the only one who can hear him, the only person that knows he exists… wouldn't it be pointless to drag Riku along with me?_

_ Maybe… I should go it alone from here on out…_

_ I just… I don't know…_


	22. Missed You

I sit Riku and Namine down and...

this is what I get *shrug*

* * *

><p>Namine groaned, sitting up and rubbing her head, as if it still hurt.<p>

Riku noticed she was awake, and brightened instantly. But his smile fell when he noticed she was still in pain.

"How's your head?" he asked quietly.

"It still hurts… but what else can I expect?" she replied, and then paused. She was silent for a moment, before turning to him in shock. "Riku!"

He laughed. "Who else did you think you were talking to?"

"I knew it was you, I just didn't- I mean, I had just gotten used to you _not_ being there that- though… I guess I should have known after what Joseph said- but-" she frowned, cheeks red with embarrassment. "Stop laughing at me!"

"I'm not laughing at you!" Riku replied, though he had been laughing. He was now currently trying to stop laughing, and failing at it, so he only started laughing harder.

"Shut up!" Namine laughed, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

This only caused him to laugh harder, and soon she was laughing too.

"See," Riku said after a moment, still laughing. "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you."

"That's the lamest excuse ever…" Namine said, also still laughing.

Their laughter died down after a while, and they sat in silence for a bit, both grinning.

"So… umm… how long was I out?" Namine asked after a moment, breaking the silence.

Riku shrugged. "I'm not sure how long you were here before I got here…" he muttered.

"Okay… I'll rephrase the question then. How long have you been here?"

"Three hours," Riku replied, rather quickly.

"And you've been sitting here the entire time?"

He nodded.

She laughed slightly. "Riku, you didn't have to-" she began, but stopped as he pulled her into a hug.

He sighed, happily.

"I missed you," he whispered.

Namine was silent for a moment, still slightly shocked by the randomness of this. After a moment she wrapped her arms around him. "I missed you, too," she replied.

"I'm sorry," Riku muttered. "I didn't expect it to take this long."

Namine laughed slightly. "Don't apologize. You were only doing what you thought best."

They pulled apart after a moment.

"Though…" Riku said thoughtfully. "If I had known it was going to take this long, I would have spent more time with you before I left."

Namine blushed at that, and turned away in attempts to hide it.

A smile grew on Riku's face. "I'm really glad you're here," he said. "I thought it was going to be a while before I saw you again. Though, Sora was insisting I went home and talked to you…"

Namine laughed. "He did?"

Riku nodded. "Yeah. I missed you a lot. I couldn't really focus… 'cause I was thinking about how much I missed you." His voice was quiet as he said this, and Namine couldn't help but smile.

"I think Sora was getting sick of having to warn me when I had Heartless sneaking up on me," Riku continued.

"So Sora's alright?" Namine asked.

"He's still struggling with the darkness," Riku replied. "But fine besides that, it seems. How have you been?"

Namine paused, only because the question was slightly random. "I've been good. A bit bored. The Islands aren't nearly exciting without you or Sora around."

"How many memory meltdowns did you have?"

Namine frowned. "Two…" she replied slowly, sounding unsure. "Three if you include this one."

"That doesn't sound good…" Riku muttered.

Namine shrugged. "It's nothing really. But it's funny, though, I always have something to ask you about the memories I see… but I can never remember what I wanted to ask by the time I wake up again."

"Do you always collapse?" Riku asked, worry creeping into his voice.

"It's not really a meltdown if I don't," Namine replied. "What about you?" she asked quickly to change the subject. "How have you been?"

"Fine… more or less…" Riku replied.

Namine frowned.

"Life's been hectic, that's all," Riku quickly explained. "I mean, all I was doing was searching for Sora, and then next thing I know I've been roped into leading a Rebellion."

"Rebellion?"

"Saix took charge of the Replica Program, and he's not very nice," Riku explained. "No one seems to like him. I don't like him much, and I've never met him."

"He's a jerkface!" someone shouted.

They both turned. Joseph was standing in the doorway.

"What?" Joseph asked. "He is! He's tried to kill me like… forty times already! And he's killed Roxas, and Xion, and all the rest of my friends. Well, not all my friends, but all my old friends. And he forced Zexion Alpha to Deactivate all _his_ friends and-"

"Joseph!" Riku said, rather loudly, interrupting him. "You talk too much!"

"Oh! Sorry, sir," Joseph replied with a grin. "I was worried about Namine, after she just collapsed like that. I wanted to see if she's okay, and she is, obviously." He paused for a second, glancing between the two of them. Namine was looking at him with a confused look on her face, and Riku was glaring, though that wasn't unusual. However, considering the time…

"You two want be left alone, don't you?" he asked, grin widening.

They didn't say anything, but the look on their faces told him all he needed to know. Well, the look on Riku's face. He hadn't been around Namine long enough to be able to read her facial expressions. However, Riku's glare softened, and that was a good enough answer for him.

"Right! I'm going to go get you some ice cream," Joseph said, turning around and walking out.

"I remember you!" Namine gasped suddenly. "You're that kid from Twilight Town! You gave us those WINNER sticks to get ice cream because Riku was out of munny because he wasted it all on potion."

"Seriously?" Riku asked, turning to her. "Why are you bringing that up!"

Joseph burst out laughing.

"Shut up!" Riku snapped, though he only sounded slightly annoyed.

Joseph did his best to quiet his laughter, but he gave up as soon as Namine smacked Riku.

"That's not very nice!" she said.

"And neither was smacking me!" Riku replied.

"I'm going to go get the ice cream now," Joseph laughed, opening a dark corridor.

"Won't 29 complain about you going alone?" Riku asked.

Joseph shrugged. "Who's going to tell on me?" he replied with a cocky grin. "Besides, I'll be right back."

Riku groaned as soon as Joseph had left. "He's never going to leave me alone now. Never."

"Sorry…" Namine muttered.

"No! It's not your fault," Riku laughed. "He's a sweet kid, really. Just really annoying at times."

Namine smiled. "Well, I've got some questions to ask you now, if you'd rather talk about that."

"Honestly, I don't care what we talk about," Riku replied, smiling.

"Back!" Joseph called, stepping out of a dark corridor. "Told you I wouldn't take long!" He laughed, and then handed them each an ice cream. "There you go, sir," he said, smiling at Riku. "Two ice creams, as promised, and I'll leave you alone." He grinned and then walked out.

Riku sighed, taking a bite of his ice cream, and then turned to Namine. "What was it you wanted to ask me?" he sighed.

Namine frowned. "Well… it's only a few questions," she muttered, sounding as if she was sorry. "I only want to know a few things… I'll learn the rest through experience, I guess."

Riku frowned at this, confused. He was silent for a moment, before he asked: "Did I say something? You sound nervous."

She turned away. "I-I'm sorry. I guess I'm still a bit out of it. I just- I-"

"Hey," Riku said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Don't apologize, alright? Ask me whatever you want to ask me. If you don't want to ask me anything anymore… then… talk about whatever you feel like talking about." He moved his hand from her shoulder and put it under her chin, gently tilting her face up so he could look her in the eye. "I just want to talk," he said with a smile. "I don't care what about."

Slowly, Namine smiled, too. "For starters," she laughed quietly. "You're ice cream's melting."

"And yours isn't?" Riku replied, pulling his hand away and then setting about on fixing his ice cream problem.

Namine laughed and did the same.

They sat in silence for a moment, focusing on eating the melting ice cream.

"Does Joseph get ice cream every day?" Namine asked after a moment.

Riku let out a small sigh of relief. She sounded better, though he had absolutely no idea what she was freaking out before. "Not every day," he replied. "I'm sure he'd love to get ice cream every day, though. However, 29 insists someone go with him, for safety purposes, and most of the time everyone's too busy to take him."

"Safety purposes?"

"He's among the Replicas Saix wants dead more than the rest," Riku explained.

"And who's 29?" Namine asked.

"The Vexen Replica who's in charge of taking care of Joseph. He's very protective of Joseph, but after what Saix has done…"

"What did he do?"

Riku winced. "You haven't been around long enough to notice, I guess. But don't you think it's a bit odd that Joseph is the only Replica at that age?"

"Yeah… I guess so…" Namine replied. "That does seem strange."

"There used to be more like him," Riku explained, voice quiet. It was a touchy subject. "Saix, however, deemed them worthless because they couldn't fight or anything. They were among the first destroyed at the Restart."

Namine grimaced.

"No one really likes to talk about it…" Riku muttered.

"Okay… so… to change the subject, what's Deactivating?" Namine asked. "Or… is that something that no one likes to talk about either?"

"It's a good thing you're asking me these questions," Riku laughed. "I don't really mind talking about these things. But you're right, no one does like to talk about it. I don't even like the idea myself." He sighed. "Deactivation is the nice way of killing a Replica. You turn their brain off so they can no longer function."

"Not nice," Namine said with a frown. "Can this happen to every Replica?"

"Well… everyone except us, it seems," he replied with a wry grin. "I'm not in this program, so _none_ of this effects me, really. And you're not catalogued. Not much can be done to an un-catalogued Replica."

"That's good," Namine laughed, and then paused. "Right? That is good?"

Riku nodded. "Very good," he said. "I can't imagine what I would do if you were Deactivated…" His face fell at just the thought of it.

"Well, it sounds like we don't need to worry about it," Namine assured him. "So don't bother trying to imagine it."

Riku laughed. "Yeah, of course."

They were silent for a moment.

"Can I ask you something?" Riku asked.

Namine nodded.

"How did you get here?"

Namine laughed, a bit nervously. "It's a funny story, actually," she said. "A Vexen Replica showed up and tried to kidnap me. I guess Saix sent him… but I don't know why. Anyways, Axel came to my rescue, and he sent me here."

"Axel?" Riku asked, a bit shocked. "Wow… I'm a bit surprised… Well, I'll be sure to thank him next time I see him, that's for sure."

"Thank him? What for?"

"For sending you here, of course."

Namine blushed.

Riku just smiled. "You don't know how happy I am to see you. Honestly."

"I'm sure I can imagine what it feels like," Namine replied. "I'm happy to see you, too, don't forget."

Riku's smile slowly changed to a grin.

"Umm… I'm sorry if I'm interrupting…" a very tentative voice called.

They both looked up. Sora was standing in the doorway, and he looked rather worried.

"Riku… there's a slight problem…" Sora said.

Riku frowned. "Where's Joseph? He's usually the one to come and get me… but only because he insists." He said most of this just to explain to Namine, but the question was for Sora.

"That's just it…" Sora muttered.


	23. A Simple Trade

this chapter was ENTIRELY Joseph's idea

that, and everyone was just thinking random thoughts and saying random crap and it wasn't TOO random so I just wrote it all down.

and... thus we have this chapter

* * *

><p>They entered the main room of Castle Oblivion to an interesting scene. Dead center of the room was a Marluxia Replica, who had his scythe at Joseph's throat. Everyone else was standing around, angrily glaring at him (the Marluxia Replica, not Joseph). Riku glanced over at 29, who had his shield out and quite the glare on his face. Riku instantly felt sorry for the Marluxia Replica.<p>

However, he still drew his blade.

"Hey!" the Marluxia Replica shouted, noticing this. "One step closer and the kid gets it!"

"Ah… that's why no one's attacked…" Riku muttered.

"Riku, what are we going to do?" Namine asked.

Riku turned to her, a bit shocked. She sounded really worried. Riku swallowed, unsure of what to say. He wasn't used to this. However, he quickly regained his composure.

"It'll be fine," he assured her, trying his best to sound cool. "This practically happens every day. We'll figure it out."

Sora jabbed him in the ribs at this, and he turned to Sora. Sora just smiled, eyebrows raised. Riku rolled his eyes.

"Not now!" he hissed.

Sora just shook his head and smiled.

"What do you want?" Riku asked the Marluxia Replica, ignoring Sora's laughter. Sora's laughter was very quiet, but still very distracting.

"A simple trade, nothing more," the Marluxia Replica replied.

Riku raised his eyebrows.

"The boy's life, for _her_,"

"_Me?_" Namine gasped, a bit shocked.

It was obvious that the Marluxia Replica was referring to her. Who else would he be referring to? Namine was who Saix wanted captured, and also the only girl in the room. So, he _had_ to be referring to her.

_No!_

Riku wanted to scream.

But he couldn't.

Joseph.

_I can't let him take Namine!_

_ But I can't let him kill Joseph…_

_ This is just cruel._

"Don't do it!" Joseph shouted, finally managing to pull the Marluxia Replica's hand away from his mouth. "It's not a fair trade! I'm not worth that!"

"Joseph!" 29 scolded.

"What?" he asked. "I'm not! I'm sure my death would be less painful than whatever the heck Saix might do to Namine if we let this jerk here take her." He nodded at the Marluxia Replica as he said this.

"Be quiet!" the Marluxia Replica snapped.

"You're just a filthy coward!" Joseph snapped back. "You should be quiet."

"Joseph!" Riku shouted. "You're not helping!"

It was true, Joseph was _definitely _not helping.

_I have to protect Namine! _Riku's thoughts were screaming.

_ But… Joseph…_

_ This is just… this is…_

Riku sighed.

"Joseph," he said. "It is not going to come down to you having to die. We'll figure this out somehow."

"So you're going to hand over Namine, then?" the Marluxia Replica asked.

"Well, uhh-" Riku began.

"Why?" Namine asked, interrupting him. "I mean, I know Saix wants me captured for some reason, and I'm not sure if I want to know _why_. I want to know why _you're_ doing this. Did Saix send you?"

Riku shook his head. "He's been here a while."

"Then why is he doing this?" Namine turned back to the Marluxia Replica and frowned. "Are you a double agent or something?"

The Marluxia Replica shook his head. "Well, no actually, I only joined this stupid Rebellion in the first place because half my brethren decided that they just didn't like me when Saix took charge."

"I liked you!" another Marluxia Replica shouted.

"Well I never liked you," the Marluxia Replica that had a hold of Joseph replied. He turned back to Namine. "I just figured if I did this they might stop hating me. Even if I don't manage to capture you, if I get rid of the kid I'm sure someone might be- wait, why am I explaining this to you?"

"That is a very good question," some Vexen Replica said, turning to Namine. "Why is he explaining this to you?"

Namine shrugged. "I managed to get 17 to spill his guts, too, though… I wish I had questioned him sooner, considering-" she shook her head. "Nothing."

Riku raised his eyebrows. "No, what is it?" he asked, worry creeping into his tone.

"Oi! Mr. 'I can't focus on anything but Namine'!" Joseph shouted. "I've still got a scythe at my throat! I thought you said you were going to figure out a way where I wasn't going to die!"

"I thought you wanted me to kill you!" the Marluxia Replica asked, sounding generally confused.

"Well, if Riku has a way to figure this out, then I trust him!" Joseph replied.

"Uhh…" Riku muttered.

"Oh, so he has a plan, does he?" the Maluxia Replica said with a smirk. "It sure seems like-"

_Whack!_

29, sick of this entire thing, had come up behind the Marluxia Replica and whacked him with his shield. Joseph quickly dodged out of the way, and the Marluxia Replica collapsed.

"Oh look!" Sora laughed. "Your plan worked out quite well, Riku."

Riku turned to him, and frowned.

Sora was teasing him.

A few Vexen Replicas came over and dragged the Marluxia Replica off.

"Ooh!" Joseph exclaimed. "It's been a while since we've thrown anyone out! I wanna watch!"

Namine turned to Riku, confused.

"There's sort of a… ritual… when we throw people out of the Rebellion," Riku explained, though he didn't sound sure about his explanation. "Well, we just throw them out the front door. It's nothing special, Joseph just finds it amusing for some reason. You want to see? It's not really exciting…"

"Sure…" Namine replied slowly.

"Okay then," Riku said, leading her after the crowd that was leaving the main room.

Sora caught him by the arm before he got far.

"Smooth one back there," Sora laughed.

"What?" Riku asked.

"Don't think I didn't notice. You were trying to be cool to impress Namine."

"Was not!"

"Hey, what are you two arguing about?" Joseph asked, coming over.

"Nothing," Riku replied quickly. "But for your information, I _can_ focus on more than just Namine."

"Uh-huh," Joseph said, not convinced one bit. "You were totally like: 'Oh, Namine sounds upset, I should ask what's wrong. Forget the fact that Joseph's about to die!'"

"It's not like-" Riku began, and then paused. "You said you trusted me!" he said, but only because he was grasping for _something_ to say.

"I only said that to help you with the trying to impress Namine thing," Joseph laughed.

"I wasn't-" Riku began, again. However, Joseph interrupted him.

"Though, it's not like I don't trust you or anything," Joseph continued, as if Riku hadn't said anything. "I just know now to trust you less when Namine's around, because apparently you can't think straight if she's anywhere near you."

"I'm not like that!" Riku said, sounding very annoyed.

Joseph turned to Sora with a win. "I _told _you," he laughed. "I'm so going to win!"

"Win what!" Riku asked, very confused. "What are you-"

"Riku!" Namine called, interrupting his sentence. "Are you coming?"

Riku turned to her, a smile spreading across his face. "Yeah, I'm coming!" he called, running after her.

"And you're going to win, huh?" Sora asked, turning to Joseph.

"He still seems pretty clueless though," Joseph muttered.

Sora was silent for a moment.

"What happens if he ends up realizing it in a month and a half?" Sora asked suddenly. "Who wins the bet then?"

Joseph frowned. "Uh… we play rock paper scissors?"

XXX

"No!" the Marluxa Replica was shouting as he was being dragged to the front door of Castle Oblivion. "No! Please don't! I have nowhere to go!"

"Should have thought about that sooner," 29 laughed. "You aren't accepted here anymore, and from the sounds of it Saix won't take you either. Have fun being a rogue!"

"You're cruel!" the Marluxia Replica whined.

29 sighed. "You sound like Joseph…" he muttered, walking away.

With that, the Marluxia Replica was thrown out of Castle Oblivion.

"See, I told you it wasn't exciting," Riku laughed, turning to Namine. He then frowned, noting the look on her face.

She looked as if she was fighting off pain (a look that Riku knew very well).

"Are you-" he began, but his sentence wasn't finished. Namine suddenly gasped in pain and then collapsed.

Riku bit his lip, unsure of what to do for a moment. Finally he just picked her up and carried her to her room.

What was going on?


	24. The Nightmare Begins

ugh! I would have had this up sooner but the site was giving issues. I couldn't upload anything. Still can't, so I just pasted this into an already existing document thingy

I knew this chapter was coming, and that something like this was going to happen, but I didn't realize how bad it would be until I wrote it. sigh.

STUPID SORA! You're making this way more depressing than it needs to be!

* * *

><p>"Was that another meltdown?" Riku asked as Namine woke up. She nodded, but said nothing more.<p>

Riku stayed quiet, wondering if he should say anything. Finally, he asked: "How's your head?"

Namine smiled slightly. "Fine," she replied. "I just… I don't get why… I've never had meltdowns so often… I wonder what's going on…"

"Maybe this is just left over from the last one?" Riku suggested.

"I guess so…" Namine muttered, rubbing her head. "Actually, I hope so. They- they hurt. A lot. I don't think I'll be able to stand it if these start happening too often."

"This is the point where I tell you that I won't let that happen," Riku said quietly. "However… I don't think I can promise you that."

Namine laughed. "Don't worry about it, I'll be fine as long as they don't start happening every day."

"And they won't, right?" Riku asked.

"They shouldn't…" Namine replied with a shrug.

Riku let out a small sigh of relief. "That's good," he said with a smile.

XXX

Riku sat in his usual spot on his usual spot on his usual couch. Namine sat next to him. They were talking about something, laughing.

Sora sighed. He sat on the other side of the room, practically.

_Yeah… just in the way… _he thought sadly.

_No… it's not that. He's just worried about her, and he has reason to. Besides, they've been apart for months now… I've got to give them a few days, and then everything will be back to normal. Or… as normal as it can get around here…_

"Normal," he laughed quietly to himself. "Is there such a thing?"

"Riku!" Namine squealed, smacking Riku.

Sora laughed slightly, watching as Riku attempted to be annoyed, and then failed miserably and just started laughing.

_Wow…_ Sora thought with a smile. _They're just…_

_Ridiculous._

_Though, I bet me and Kairi would be the same if-_

Sora paused, face falling.

_No we wouldn't…_

_I'd be lucky if Kairi was willing to talk to me, after all that's happened…_

He groaned.

_What am I going to do?_

A couple of shouts pulled him out of his thoughts. He glanced up and noticed a rather large commotion and a very distressed looking Riku. Sora laughed when he realized Riku was only upset because he was needed to help solve whatever the problem was and he didn't _want_ to help. Obviously, Riku didn't think he was needed for whatever this was and would rather be spending his time with Namine. However, the Vexen Replicas finally convinced him to go with them and take care of the problem.

Sora glanced around the room. Only a few Replicas were sitting about still, and these ones he knew as the ones who were no good at fighting. And 6. So, whatever the problem was, it required fighting, which would explain why they needed Riku. However, _who _they were fighting was a mystery. Sora had never learned much about that, there had only ever been one problem that required so many people for a battle, and that was only to deal with an annoying rogue. He had heard that Saix had been attacking frequently, but apparently there had been no attacks for a while. He then glancedover at Namine, who seemed a bit bored now.

_Maybe I should- _he began to think, but didn't bother finish the thought. He had already risen to his feet. After a moment of debating how much me might regret doing what he was about to do, and upon finally deciding that he'd probably be fine he walked over to Namine.

"Sora!" she gasped when she noticed him (which actually took a moment). She stared at him for a moment, as if trying to decide what to say. He just let her.

_I probably look terrible… _he thought. _I certainly feel terrible. And tired. It's been a while since I've had a good night's sleep..._

"Don't they need you, too?" Namine asked finally.

Sora shrugged. "I've never been any good with those sort of problems, so I figured I'd come over and say hi."

"Hi," Namine laughed.

"Hi," Sora replied, scratching the back of his head a bit nervously. "Umm… do you mind if I sit down?"

"Oh! Yeah, sure, go ahead," Namine said, sliding over.

Sora laughed slightly, noticing that she had slid over into Riku's spot, rather than let him sit there. However, he didn't say anything, and sat down. There was silence for a moment, and then Sora decided just to say something just to break the awkwardness.

"We don't talk often, do we?"

"Not really," Namine replied.

A crash and a very loud shout (which actually sounded like it belonged to Riku) came from the other room, where everyone had gone off to. They both turned, as if they expected to see anything.

_Definitely a battle of sorts, then,_ Sora thought.

"What sort of problem are they dealing with?" Namine asked.

"I think it's a rogue…" Sora replied. "That, or Saix actually sent someone. I heard he hasn't done that in a while, so maybe he finally did." He shrugged. "I honestly don't know… but it sounds like a battle."

"Will Riku be alright?"

Sora rolled his eyes at that question. "This is Riku we're talking about," he laughed.

Namine smiled. "Good point," she muttered, and then frowned.

Sora waited a second, wondering if she'd say what was on her mind. She didn't, however, so jokingly he asked: "Still worried about Riku?"

She laughed slightly at that. "No, actually, now I'm wondering where the heck my sketchbook disappeared off to. I _think_ I had it when I came here, however, I don't quite remember… Meltdowns make everything fuzzy." She sighed. "Maybe I dropped it when I was running from 17… which stinks, because I've got a picture I want to draw."

"Can't you get a new one?" Sora asked.

Namine shrugged. "I _could_," she said. "However, there were quite a few in the one that I seem to have lost that I wanted to ask Riku about."

"Oh…" Sora muttered.

They fell into silence again.

"How long have you been here?" Namine asked suddenly.

"Only a couple weeks," Sora answered. "Me and Riku have just been going around the worlds and killing Heartless in attempts to keep my darkness under control. Though… how killing Heartless helps…" he trailed off.

"Do you plan on going home any time soon?"

"I'd love to," Sora sighed. "However, I can't. There's still darkness inside of me. It's quiet, but it's there. I can't go home till I've got it under control. And I don't have control of it quite yet."

"Kairi's worried about you," Namine said. "And she wishes you'd come home soon."

"Really?" Sora asked, quite shocked.

_Kairi's… worried… about ME._

_Then that means… maybe she doesn't…_

_Doesn't hate me._

_But… how can she? After all that I did…_

_Well, Kairi isn't one to be completely cruel. So I suppose she's just worried enough to make sure I'm not dead or something._

_Doesn't mean that she doesn't hate me…_

_Besides, maybe she only told Namine that to keep her out of it._

_Namine doesn't know what happened._

_Namine doesn't NEED to know what happened._

_No one does…_

_I wish I didn't even know what happened_

_I don't like what happened…_

"Yeah, she misses you a lot," Namine continued, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Hmph," Sora muttered. "Yeah."

Namine frowned. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No," Sora replied tersely.

"You're lying…" Namine said slowly.

"Just stay out of this!" Sora shouted, rising to his feet.

_Namine doesn't know what happened. How can she tell me that everything's fine? How does she know?_

_Kairi hates me._

_She has to._

The darkness suddenly rose up within him, but he hardly noticed. He was too upset. All the darkness was doing was making him hurt, which made him more upset, which only caused it to continue to grow.

And he didn't care enough to try and push it back down.

"Sora?" Namine asked, worry creeping into her voice.

"Shut up!" Sora snapped. The darkness was roaring inside of him, happily finding its way back into his heart. He turned to her, hatred burning in him, and the darkness eagerly feeding off of that.

His hatred, however, fizzled when he saw Namine shrink back in fear.

The fear slowly grew inside him, too.

He was afraid of the darkness inside of him.

He was starting to be afraid of himself.

_Why can't I do anything right?_

_I let myself lose it and then-_

_Then THIS happens…_

_THIS is why Kairi hates me._

It was too late though. His darkness was rearing up, ready to lash out.

_I can't stop it…_

_Crap!_

_I can't stop it!_

_Riku's going to kill me…_

"No!" someone shouted, and everything was a blur. Next thing Sora knew, he was pinned to the ground, and an extremely angry looking Riku was holding him there.

Sora was angry for a second, before it fizzled and faded. Slowly the darkness was letting go of him and he was gaining control.

Then he laughed.

"Payback, huh?" he asked.

Riku frowned, completely confused. However, after a moment, he got what Sora meant.

Sora had been referring to the time he had done the exact same thing to Riku.

"I deserved this one, though," Sora laughed.

"You alright?"

"Yes, you have me pinned to the ground, and you're asking if I'm okay," Sora said. "That makes sense…" He smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. I let my darkness get out of control, that's all. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," Riku laughed.

"Yeah I do," Sora replied. "I almost-"

Namine suddenly let out a cry of pain. Riku let go of Sora immediately and rushed over to her. She was clutching her head, as if it hurt.

"Not… again…" she whispered.

"It's alright," Riku muttered, once again picking her up and carrying her off.

Sora watched in disbelief, shock, and surprise.

Another meltdown.

That was _three._

He swallowed, and slowly rose to his feet. He winced, mind flitting back over what had just happened.

_I almost hurt Namine…_

_Oh gosh, I can't stay here._

_I have to go._


	25. Duty and Friendship

So.. I was reading through this, and I got a headache...

what the heck?

anyways, if it isn't obvious, this is like sorta the last chapter from Namine's POV. *shrug*

Oh, and Archsage, you are completely and absolutely correct. Sora IS running from the one person that could save him. Not saying Kairi's going to save him, but she definitely COULD.

* * *

><p>"Sora?" Namine asked, worry creeping into her voice. She already knew that something was off, however now she was getting worried. The air was beginning to waver around Sora, and she was starting to see the darkness lash out.<p>

"Shut up!" Sora snapped, turning to her. She swallowed, noting the look of pure hatred on his face. Slowly, she shrunk back, afraid. Sora looked as if he was ready to strike.

"No!" someone shouted, and she relaxed slightly, recognizing the voice as Riku's. A dark corridor opened and Riku jumped out of it, lunging at Sora (because apparently, running was too slow for Riku). Within only a few seconds, he had Sora pinned to the ground.

"_Take another guess!" he shouted, jumping out of the dark corridor and lunging at Marluxia. There were many gasps throughout the room, but he didn't listen. He swiped his blade, but Marluxia easily dodged._

"_Impossible!" Marluxia shouted._

Namine winced and shook her head, as if to shake the memory out of it. It slowly faded to a stop, and she was able to focus again. Her head was throbbing, though.

"Payback, huh?" Sora laughed.

_Payback…?_ Namine wondered. _What is he talking-_

She couldn't even finish the thought before the memory came drifting back to her.

_Everything was a blur. He heard Kairi scream, and then next thing Riku knew, he was against the wall. And an extremely angry Sora was holding him there._

_That would explain what they're talking about… _Namine thought.

"_Sora!" Kairi gasped. "What are you doing!"_

_If Sora heard her, he didn't show it. He continued to glare at Riku. "Why are you here?" he asked through clenched teeth._

"_I was just talking to Kairi," Riku said slowly, trying to remain calm._

"_You're trying to get in the way!" Sora accused._

"_Am not!" Riku replied. He sounded as if he was getting angry._

"_Let go of me!" Riku gasped. When Sora refused to, Riku shifted into dark mode and shot Dark Firaga at him. Sora went flying, and Kairi gasped._

This memory was quickly followed by another one, and the memories slowly overlapped.

"_Want some more!" Riku laughed, shooting Dark Firaga. Sora was knocked back, and Riku smirked. Slowly, he rose to his feet and walked over to the fallen Sora._

"_Looks like I win," he said, anger just dripping off of his voice._

"_Riku…" Sora said slowly, struggling to sit up. But he didn't look like he had the strength or will to keep fighting._

However, she got no more from the memory than that, as it flickered back to the previous memory. And then the memories just started running together, colliding in one wall of noises and images that came crashing down on her.

A cry of pain escaped her lips, but she quickly tried to fight it down.

_Another one!_ she thought angrily. _And just what is with all these memories!_

_And why do I keep seeing them…?_

"Not… again…" she moaned.

Next thing she knew, Riku was picking her up. She couldn't help but relax a little. She somehow just felt safe in his arms, even if she was in the middle of the meltdown. And she noticed that the memories were even fading a little.

Maybe this was nothing after all.

She glanced up at Riku, ready to tell him that she'd be fine, but something made her stop.

Riku said something.

She saw his mouth move.

But she didn't hear him.

She began to panic, as Riku continued talking, and she continued not to hear him.

She _couldn't_ hear him.

_Why can't I hear him! I don't see any more of the memories…_

_But why can't I hear him?_

_I can't- I can't hear anything!_

_What's going on!_

Her ears were ringing, and slowly everything just faded to black as she fainted.

XXX

Slowly, she drifted her way back to consciousness. She wasn't sure how long it had been. It had probably been a while, as it usually was.

Her ears were still ringing.

She sat up in a panic and then covered her ears, as if it would actually help stop the noise. It didn't. She knew Riku was probably sitting there, confused, but she didn't quite care. She just wanted the noise to stop.

_What the heck is this!_

_ It's never happened before…_

_ I just want it to stop._

_ I want to talk to Riku, and I can't talk to him if I can't hear him. And I won't be able to hear him if this noise doesn't stop!_

"What's wrong?" Riku asked.

To Namine's surprise, his voice cut through the noise in her ears and she could hear him perfectly.

_Weird… _she thought, slowly lowering her hands. _I couldn't hear him before…_

_But… the noise is still there._

_ It's not as annoying though._

"Are you okay?" Riku asked, starting to sound worried. Namine frowned, wondering why, but then nearly laughed at how stupid and obvious that was. She still hadn't answered his first question, and she had been freaking out.

_What should I tell him, though?_

_ I feel kind of… embarrassed… now._

_ But how would I explain this?_

"Namine?" Riku asked, sounding even more worried.

"What?" she said, turning to him, a bit shocked. "Oh! Sorry," she laughed nervously.

Riku slowly smiled. "Don't apologize," he told her. "I was only getting a bit worried, that's all. What's up?"

Namine scratched her head, still unsure of how to explain it. "It was really weird…" she muttered. "There was this ringing in my ears, and it wouldn't go away. It's gone NOW of course. But… it was really freaky. I couldn't hear anything."

"You can hear now though, right?" Riku asked.

Namine laughed. "Well no duh, silly," she said.

Riku grinned. His grin, however, quickly fell.

"Why do the meltdowns keep happening?" he asked, voice quiet. "I thought they didn't happen this often. And I know this _can't_ be left over from the last one."

Namine nodded. "I know it's not. This one felt completely different."

"But why don't they stop?"

"I-I don't know," Namine stuttered. Riku winced, noticing this. "Maybe we just have to wait. I'm sure they'll stop soon. I mean, Castle Oblivion _is_ where all your more painful memories happened, right? I bet they'll stop once I've seen all that there is to see."

She actually had no idea about this. It seemed to make sense though, and she had to say something. Riku didn't look too happy. However, at this suggestion he brightened a little.

"Yeah, I suppose that's right," he said. "And if it's true, I'm sorry."

Namine frowned, confused. "What for?" she asked.

"Most of these memories are quite painful," Riku muttered. "I don't like the thought of you having to live through that."

Namine laughed slightly. "Don't apologize for that, it's not your fault. And I'll be fine, especially if you're with me." This last part was an afterthought, mainly just said because she knew that it was what Riku secretly wanted to hear. And even so, she wouldn't mind him being with her.

A smile slowly played on Riku's lips. "Yeah! I wouldn't mind doing that at-" he paused, smile falling again as he turned away. "Well… I can try. I promised Sora I'd help him fight his darkness." He frowned, and then turned back to Namine. "Did Sora hurt you?"

Namine shook her head. "No. I'm not hurt."

"That's good. But I suppose this means I need to get back to helping Sora soon," he sighed. "It's not much. All we do is go to some random world, kill Heartless for a couple of hours and then come back. It's not like I'd be gone long."

Namine laughed. Riku was worried about being gone too long.

"It'll be fine," she assured him. "And you should probably go now, if you plan on going soon. If I have another meltdown, it won't be right away. So you'll have better chance of returning before the next one happens, if one happens."

Riku nodded, rising to his feet, suddenly more excited. "Right!" he said. "I'll be right back then!"

"I'll be waiting!" Namine called with a grin as he ran out of the room. She sighed as once as he left though.

She had forgotten to ask about her sketchbook.

Maybe she'd ask Joseph…

XXX

Vexen's Research: Report number 3

Goodness, that's three meltdowns. Riku mentioned that she had them, but he never mentioned that they were this frequent. In fact, if I remember correctly, he tried to blow it off as if it were nothing. This isn't nothing. Obviously, these memories are plaguing her. Now, are they her memories or his? I am led to believe that they are his, but I would have to ask one of them-well, technically, her. Riku won't answer any of my questions regarding this, so I would have to ask her. If she would tell me. Though, she seems to be a rather nice, trusting girl.

Oh dear, I'm rambling. I must be spending too much time with Joseph. Where was I? Oh! Right: this New Namine's memory meltdowns.

I wonder what triggers them. I wonder if Sora's darkness had anything to do with it. Though, I am surprised that Riku didn't do more than just pin him to the ground. Riku is _very _protective of this New Namine.

The connection between them is deeper than even I had originally expected, I shall have to observe more to further grasp its depths. Though, observing would be much easier if Riku wasn't so intent on staying away from me-and thereby keeping Namine out of my observations as well. Perhaps when (if) he leaves to help Sora conquer his darkness, I will be able to speak with Namine.

Or observe a meltdown more closely.

Someone should stay with her if she has one when Riku is not present. And that someone should not be Joseph-he's too young to be exposed to such horrors. 29 already berated him for the last time he did that. Though, perhaps having Joseph there would be more comforting to this New Namine, considering they are closer in age. It would keep Joseph out of other people's hair...

Seriously? I'm rambling again...


	26. Questions and Research

This chapter was ENTIRELY Vexen's idea. forevermagik was like "umm... Vexen wants to talk to Namine" and I'm just like: "Okay..." so... yeah... that's how this chapter came to be

and, forevermagik wrote most of it. I wrote a smidge at the beginning, but that's it

* * *

><p>Vexen stood somewhere down the hallway, doing his best to take notes, even though he could hardly hear the conversation between Namine and Riku. He was shocked to find a moment later that the door opened and Riku stepped out.<p>

_Is he going to help Sora already? _Vexen wondered, a bit confused. _That conversation didn't take nearly as long as they usually do…_

_No matter, this would be my chance to talk to Namine._

He shrunk back against the wall so Riku wouldn't notice him. He waited until Riku was around the corner and most likely out of earshot. He then waited a second, just to be sure. He wasn't sure how well he had programmed Riku's hearing to be. Once he felt safe that Riku was far enough away, he went over to the door. He started to open it, before realizing how rude that would be. He knocked.

"May I come in?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," Namine called.

He slowly opened the door. Namine glanced up at him and smiled, before returning to what she had previously doing, which was attempting to draw a picture with her fingers on the sheets of the bed.

"May I ask you a few questions?" Vexen said.

Namine nodded, not bothering to look up.

Vexen glanced around, figuring it would be best if he sat down. However, there was only one chair in the room. He raised his eyebrows, noticing how close the chair was in proximity to the bed.

_Ah, that must be were Riku sits._

After a moment he pulled the chair away from the bed and sat down.

_What exactly am I supposed to say though? I probably can't just flat out ask about the meltdowns. That would be rude, and not a good way to start a conversation. I should probably ask something else first, but-_

"Do you have a piece of paper?" Namine asked suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts. "And maybe something to write with?"

"Uhh… yes," Vexen replied. He tore a page out of the back of his notebook, and then quickly located a spare pen. He handed these to Namine. She took them happily and quickly began to draw.

"So what was it that you wanted to ask me?" she said, seeming much happier now that she could actually draw.

"Erm," Vexen said, noting the swiftness with which Namine was drawing. "Do you have the capability to draw and hold a conversation at the same time?"

After he asked this, he realized how rude that might sound. Namine, however, didn't seem offended by this.

"Of course," she replied, smiling. "I draw and talk to Riku all the time..."

She started to add something after that, but thought better of it. Vexen _wanted_ to ask what it was, but figured it wasn't going to go anywhere. He knew he didn't have much time, so he had to get to the point…

But what point?

"Your meltdowns," he said.

"Mm? What about them?"

"What causes them, if you don't mind me asking?"

Namine paused in the picture she was drawing, it was of her and Riku sitting together on a couch. "I'm not sure really. Usually it's just something someone says that triggers a memory of Riku's that's similar in one way or another. Then, after that first memory, they all just pound into my head..."

She rubbed her temples and Vexen was worried that he was going to bring on a meltdown just asking about them. Riku would _kill _him if that happened. Literally kill. Faster than he had killed that Larxene Replica that one time.

"And they are memories of Riku's?"

"I guess so," Namine said, frowning. "When I ask about them, he explains them... well, the ones I remember, anyway. I don't like to remember them."

Vexen was starting to feel guilty about asking all these personal questions-the downside of having a heart. But this was for research! And it was probably necessary to understand the connection between Riku and this Namine sitting in front of him.

"How many of these memory meltdowns have you had?"

"Six," Namine responded quickly.

"Have they been getting worse or staying about the same?"

Namine half wondered if this particular Vexen Replica was a medic. For a brief moment she wondered if he would try and fix her. She wasn't sure what her opinion of that was yet. She would have to come up with one soon.

"They've been getting more frequent, that's for sure," she muttered.

Vexen scribbled this all down in his notebook.

"Well, enough about the meltdowns, I see it's a touchy subject."

"Why are you here?" Namine asked.

Vexen looked up at her. She had not asked the question accusingly, but rather as if she honestly wondered why he was interested.

In fact, Namine was wondering why this random Vexen Replica was interested in her memory meltdowns. The only person who had shown more interest was Riku... and well, that was Riku.

"I am merely trying to understand the connection between Riku and you, Miss Namine," Vexen replied.

Namine was slightly taken aback at being called "Miss Namine," but she didn't question it. She'd ask Riku about it later.

"Why is that?" she asked.

Vexen sighed and closed his eyes. "I had wondered. Riku has not mentioned me, has he?"

Namine shook her head. "He's mentioned some basics regarding Vexen Replicas. He's mentioned a few specific ones like 19 and 23. And he's pointed out 29 to me. However, I do not know who you are, specifically." She bowed her head. "My apologies."

"Is it your goal to learn each Replica by Number?"

Namine nodded. "Riku does it, why can't I?"

_Of course, _Vexen thought. _Some of the programming I gave Riku has been transferred into this Namine by proxy. Interesting._

"What number are you?" Namine asked. "I feel bad, you know who I am, but I don't know who you are."

"I am not a Replica," Vexen said.

Namine frowned. "Riku eliminated the original Vexen..."

"I am also not from this universe," Vexen continued. "I come from the same universe Riku does. Please tell me he told you that he came from another universe, because, otherwise, I am so dead."

Namine nodded.

"I am Riku's creator, actually," Vexen said.

Namine's eyes grew wide. She looked down, unsure if she should meet his eye or not. It wasn't like she felt inferior as a Replica. She didn't feel inferior to Sora or Kairi in the slightest. She considered them all equals. But, here she was, sitting across from the man who made... Riku. And she wasn't sure how to respond to that.

Well, she did have one thought...

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Vexen was taken aback. "For what?"

"For making Riku. I mean, I know he didn't have the... greatest of starts... but you were the one who actually decided to make him. And without him, I wouldn't exist. So, thank you."

Vexen didn't feel like correcting her. It hadn't exactly gone like that... Marluxia... and the Organization... however...

"You're welcome," he said finally. "Now, I should probably go. I may be Riku's creator, but he doesn't particularly like me. He finds it awkward, which I don't understand, it's against what I... oh, never mind."

"Can I have another piece of paper please?" Namine said, cutting off his fumbled attempts to not mention things like: the original Namine and shattering memories, and original programming.

Vexen tore out another sheet of paper from his notebook.

"Thank you," Namine said. "I need to draw a picture for Sora. I want him to see that Kairi doesn't hate him..."

Vexen smiled. "Of course."

With that, he left before Riku came back.


	27. Don't Follow Me!

about time i got this far! sheesh, i expected this to happen a heck of a lot sooner

anyways, i think updates will be more frequent. I'm getting a lot of writing done (actually, I'm a smidge ahead of my uploading, but it's better that way, because when i write ahead, i write better... don't ask) however, i've gotten far enough ahead that it's bothering me. So... *shrug*

* * *

><p>"Master Riku!" 19 said, calling him over.<p>

Riku frowned, casting a glance over at Sora, who he had been previously making his way over to. Sora glanced up at him, and for a split second terror shot through him, before just fading into what appeared to be worry.

Riku's frown deepened, wondering what on earth Sora could be worried about. After a moment though he just shrugged in Sora's direction, and then walked over to 19.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Well, sir," 19 began to explain, sounding a bit sheepish. Riku found that a bit odd. It wasn't often that a Vexen Replica sounded nervous, let alone _sheepish_. "We've been doing a bit of research about Namine's meltdowns."

Riku's face paled. Whatever attempts he had been making before to appear casual, like nothing was happening, were instantly shattered.

And he was a bit confused as to _why_.

However, just the mention of a meltdown made his heart sink.

"What about them?" he asked, trying his best to sound like nothing was wrong.

"Well, we have been trying to figure out what, exactly, causes them, in hopes that will lead us to a way to stop them," 19 continued to explain. "We are all very worried about her, you see. This does not seem like a normal occurrence."

Riku wasn't quite sure what to say to that. Eventually, he just asked: "What do you mean by 'we'?"

"I've been helping too," came the voice of Alpha, who sat on the couch with a laptop in his lap, on which he was typing frantically. "I _was_ trying to improve the security on the Main Computer so Saix couldn't get it, however this seemed a bit more important."

"Have you figured anything out?" Riku asked, a bit nervously.

Namine had told him that they would stop.

But, thinking about it now, she had probably said that just to comfort him.

_It's funny… I'm usually the one comforting her._

_ Why are things like this now?_

_ What is it about the meltdowns that make me so…_

_ Nervous._

"Not much, sir," 19 said with a sigh. "Only a few small theories."

"However, we are betting on one rather obvious one," Alpha explained. "And I'm sure that you'll be glad to hear this."

He paused in his typing for a second, and cleared his throat as if he was going to say something drastically important.

"The main change between now and when she was on the islands is obvious. She's _here_ now, and not there," Alpha said.

"I suppose that _is_ obvious…" Riku muttered.

"We are only assuming that the sudden change of scenery has… startled her, and the meltdowns are feeding off of that," 19 shrugged. "It is a mere theory, though, and may be completely wrong."

Something about that just didn't quite click for Riku.

It didn't sound like that could be right.

"However, if it is correct, then the meltdowns should stop relatively soon," 19 continued.

Riku suddenly no longer cared that the theory didn't sound right.

Because maybe he'd be lucky, and it would be correct. And if it was correct then the meltdowns would stop.

And he wanted very much for them to stop.

XXX

"Hey Sora, you ready to go?" Riku asked, running over.

Sora grimaced. "About that…" he muttered. "I was thinking I'd go it alone from here on out."

Riku frowned, concerned. "Are you sure?"

Sora nodded, quickly, turning away. "Yeah, I'll be okay. Besides, you're needed here."

"It's only the Rebellion, they can handle themselves," Riku said with a shrug.

Sora turned around, completely and utterly shocked. Especially after all that had just happened.

"Are you-" he began to ask, but thought better of it, not wanting to call Riku stupid. So instead, he asked: "Are you blind! Namine needs you way more than I do, right now! I mean, do you think the memory meltdowns are just going to stop?"

Riku swallowed, taken aback. Maybe he _was_ slightly crazy for believing that ridiculous theory of 19's.

Maybe he was blind…

But what did Sora know?

"You heard what 19-" he began. Sora interrupted him.

"I don't care about Vexen whatever his number is said!" Sora shouted. "He only said they _might_ stop. You know as well as I do that that theory was completely bonkers. I bet he only said that because you scared him into it!"

Riku was suddenly at a loss for words.

Was he really that worried about this?

Worried enough that everyone was just trying to say something so he'd calm down?

He didn't even understand why he was so upset.

Sora stared at Riku, still in shock.

"Maybe they will stop, Riku," he said finally. "Maybe that ridiculous theory is correct. But that doesn't mean that they'll stop right away-" He stopped, noticing the look on Riku's face. Riku looked rather upset, and now he was beginning to regret saying that.

"I-I just-" Riku managed to stutter, completely in shock.

"Namine needs you more than I do," Sora repeated. "She's only been here barely a day and she's had three meltdowns. _Three._ You've seen how much they hurt her. I- I can't tear you away from that, Riku!"

_And I'm tired of being in the way! _his thoughts added, but he didn't dare voice this.

Riku only swallowed.

Sora turned away. He couldn't bear to look at Riku's horrified face.

_There I go again. Just hurting people with all that I say._

_But… this is the truth. And the truth hurts sometimes._

_Maybe Riku can't see it. But I certainly can._

_He and Namine are inseparable. I can't be in the way. Riku needs to stay here. Riku needs to stay with her._

_He doesn't need to help me._

_Even if I do need his help…_

_He's needed here._

_I've made my mind up already. I'm leaving. Riku can't stop me._

"Besides," Sora said finally. "I need to do this alone."

_As I've already told myself, it would be pointless to drag Riku along while I figure out who this Shadow is._

_And if no one's with me, then no one gets hurt._

_It's better that way._

He pulled his star shard out of his pocket, and fired it up.

"And don't follow me!" he told Riku as he disappeared.

He wasn't sure if Riku would try to or not.

But he definitely didn't want him to.

XXX

The Reports of Zexion Alpha. Report 2

These memory meltdowns of Namine's are quite… curious. I was completely serious when I told Riku that I found this matter more important. Not only does it seem more crucial, as the meltdowns seem to be painful to Namine (and to Riku, somehow) it is an absolutely _excellent_ opportunity for research.

Oh dear… "Opportunity for research"? I've been hanging around too many Vexens.

Anyways, 19 and I _were_ supposed to ask Riku what he thought concerning what causes the meltdowns, but somehow the subject was avoided. I'm not quite sure how we managed that.

However, Riku's feelings about the meltdowns are clear.

There have only been three, and the thought already upsets him.

For his sake, and Namine's, we must try harder to figure out these meltdowns. What causes them? How can we stop them? There has to be a way. And we should be able to find it.


	28. On the Verge of Assault

Hey look! It's Xiggy!

what, I'm uploading frequently, aren't I?

well... i'm trying to catch up with a certain point (or at least not be so freakishly far behind) with Can't Escape, so... I need to be uploading frequently.

I doubt you're complaining

* * *

><p>"So, what now?" Xigbar asked.<p>

They sat in the Round Room. Well, Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, and Saix sat in the Round Room. Saix was the only one who actually needed to be there, however, apparently Xaldin wanted to ask Xemnas something, and Xigbar… well… no one had any idea why he was there.

"That Sora kid has left Castle Oblivion; does that mean the attacks on it can continue?" Xigbar continued.

"I don't see why _you're_ so interested," Saix replied tensely.

"Maybe I'd like to help out," Xigbar said.

"There's a high chance you'll get killed," Saix muttered.

"Killed?" Xigbar laughed. "As if!"

"The attacks can continue," Xemnas said, completely ignoring the short spat between Saix and Xigbar. "I need a Keyblade wielder, one way or another."

Saix nodded, formed a dark corridor, and left.

Xigbar, noticing this, quickly followed.

That left Xemnas and Xaldin in the room.

"And what did you want?" Xemnas asked, turning to Xaldin.

"I have my thoughts about Sora," Xaldin replied simply.

XXX

"So is there any other reason besides the high chance of me being killed that is preventing me from going to Castle Oblivion?" Xigbar asked, emerging from his dark corridor right next to Saix.

"I don't see why you wish to go," Saix replied.

"All the exciting things happen there! I mean, the only exciting thing that's happened around here recently is the fact Demyx has decided to be quiet for a change," Xigbar laughed at that, though Saix said nothing.

"That, and Axel destroying that one Vexen Replica," Xigbar continued. "Which, I wonder why he did. Unless you gave him the order…"

"Vexen Replica number 17 was no longer performing to our standards," Saix said simply. "Axel only saved me the trouble of having to assign someone to destroy 17."

"Ah, I see," Xigbar muttered. He did, however, still have his suspicions about Axel. He ignored these and turned back to Saix. "Anyways, so about Castle Oblivion-"

"I still do not see why you wish to go," Saix replied, again.

"As I've already said, everything exciting happens there! Besides, the Squirt's over there. It's been a while since I've talked to him."

Saix frowned. "Ah, yes… that useless experiment Joseph."

"Useless? As if!" Xigbar laughed. "Joseph wasn't half bad."

"You do realize that he is with the Rebellion," Saix said. "And all with the Rebellion are against the Organization. All against the Organization must be destroyed."

"He's just a kid! What harm could he do?" Xigbar asked.

Saix said nothing.

"But what I _really_ want to know is why you're so intent on keeping me away from Castle Oblivion," Xigbar continued. "Are you afraid I'll be in your way, or mess up your plans or something? Because… your plans aren't doing too well. I might be of some help."

"It is none of your business," Saix said quickly, before walking off.

"Man, what's his problem?" Xigbar muttered, clearly noting the sound of a dark corridor opening next to him.

"No clue," a voice that sounded remarkably like his own said. Xigbar turned, finding Xigbar. One of these was the clone. Funnily enough, the clone had been the one talking to Saix this entire time. The real Xigbar had only just entered the scene.

"So my friend," Xigbar said, placing a hand on his clone's shoulder. "What's Saix done this time?"

"Insisting I can't go to Castle Oblivion for some odd reason," Xigbar's clone replied.

"That's too bad," Xigbar muttered. "Though why do you need his permission? It's not like it's going to matter if you go or not."

"Still…" Xigbar's clone shook his head. "If I mess up his plans at all, he's not going to hesitate to destroy me."

Xigbar laughed. "Don't take it personally. Besides, you're still needed around here."

The two of them began walking.

"What else has been going on?" Xigbar asked his clone as they turned the corner.

XXX

"I still can't believe Sora just left like that!" Joseph exclaimed. He was sitting on the couch, right between Riku and Namine. He considered being nice and leaving them alone. However, there was that bet… and he was annoyed enough at Sora to consider attempting to change things in his favor. Even if that only meant sitting between Riku and Namine to make whatever conversation they were having before awkward because he was right smack dab in the middle of it. And, that would be awkward for them, not so much for Joseph.

"He didn't even say goodbye!" Joseph continued, sounding annoyed. Riku said nothing, and he still looked if he was contemplating shoving Joseph off the couch. Joseph assumed that he only hadn't because apparently Namine disliked Riku threatening/hurting him.

Well, that could come in handy.

"I know!" Namine exclaimed. "I had a picture I wanted to give him, but… I sort of can't now." She sighed. "That reminds me though… have either you seen my sketchbook? It appears to have gone missing, and I can't remember if I had it with me when I got here."

Joseph frowned. He couldn't remember either. He had been more concerned about Namine's state of health than whether or not she had her sketchbook.

"It's gone missing?" Riku asked, sounding worried.

Joseph rolled his eyes.

"Well, I might have dropped it when 17 was chasing me," Namine shrugged.

"17 was chasing you!" Riku asked, sounding shocked on top of his worry.

"It's no big deal," Namine said. "I was managing to stay away from him rather well."

Joseph felt like he was going to barf.

Even if Riku appeared to be ridiculously slow on realizing anything, it was still obvious to everyone else.

And this was just… ridiculous.

_Goodness… maybe Sora WILL win… _Joseph thought. _Which isn't good. I'm not happy with Sora at the moment. He can't win._

"I can ask about it," Joseph suggested. "Maybe someone else has seen it."

"Thank you," Namine said with a smile.

"I could always start looking for it," Riku laughed.

Namine rolled her eyes. "You don't need to go searching the worlds for my sketchbook. If it's that lost I'll live."

"What if I want to find it?" Riku asked.

"Oh my gosh!" Joseph exclaimed, hopping to his feet. "I'm… I'm just going to go."

"Okay," Riku said and then sighed. "Finally…" he muttered.

Namine laughed. "You only said that to-" she began.

"Get rid of him?" Riku finished. "Yup."

"So you aren't seriously going to search the worlds for my sketchbook?" Namine asked.

"Well… if you want me to…"

Again, Namine laughed and then shook her head. "No…" she replied. "That's a bit ridiculous."

"Yeah," Riku agreed. "It is. We'll get you a new one, how about that?"

"Sure," Namine muttered.

Riku frowned. "Is that okay? If you really want your old one back-"

"No, Riku, it's fine, seriously. It's just the thought of the fact I've lost all those pictures," she sighed. "But it's fine, really. None of them were interesting."

"I bet that's not true," Riku laughed. "I bet they were wonderful pictures."

"How would you know?" Namine asked.

"Because I know you," Riku replied, smiling. "And I know you're an absolutely amazing artist."

Namine blushed.

The sound of quite a few dark corridors opening interrupted their moment.

"Crap," Riku whispered, glancing over his shoulder. Sure enough, what looked like the usual party of Replicas sent by Saix had appeared.

There was a flurry of weapon summoning.

"Go," Riku hissed, turning to Namine.

"What?" she asked.

"Saix doesn't know you're here," Riku explained quickly. "And if he wants to kidnap you, it would probably be better if it stayed that way. Now go!"

Namine nodded and quickly ran.

Riku rose to his feet and drew his blade. "Boy did _you_ pick a bad time to show up," he sneered, eyes locking on 37. After a second he launched himself over the couch and attacked.


	29. Taunting Darkness

it's about darn time i got this far!

now, I can finally say that I have the trailer finished. Ive had it finished for a WHILE now, but I couldn't upload it due to spoilers (which no longer become spoilers after reading this chapter!) And before you ask, I didn't use the theme song for this fic in the trailer. Why? because i got absolutely sick of listening to it. So, instead, I took some music from the wonderful band Two Steps from Hell, who writes music for trailers and used IT to make my trailer. There will be a link to the trailer on my profile soon. like, within the next hour or so  
>that, and on the subject of music by Two Steps from Hell if anyone absolutely cares, their song "Touched by Her Hand" is the theme for Namiku in my story. dont' ask, it was forevermagik13's idea. Seriously, we were listening to that song and she told me: "this is your Namiku theme" and I'm like "Okay... then..."<br>still on the subject of music, if you really want a song that I think fits Riku and Namine in my story it's: "She Is" by the Fray.

now that i'm done with my rant on music, I've also uploaded some concept art for this chapter. I can't tell you for who (though you'll know who after you read it) but there will be links on my profile soon (like, as soon as I upload them, soon)

enough of my updating! READ!

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><p>Sora groaned as soon as he had landed.<p>

Somehow, he hadn't been thinking clearly, and had ended up in Hollow Bastion.

The place he _didn't_ want to be.

"Well… crap!" he muttered, glancing around.

He appeared to be in… the entrance hall. Except, now that he looked around, the castle of Hollow Bastion itself didn't seem to be in good shape. There were actually a few holes in the ceiling, and many of the walls were crumbling. Sora frowned for a second, wondering what in the Worlds had happened to this place.

A sudden laughter brought him out of his thoughts and he frowned. He turned, and noticed that shadow standing in the shadows.

"You!" he shouted.

The laughter slowly died down, and the figure slowly stepped into the light.

"Just who do you think you-" Sora stopped suddenly, as he could finally get a full view of the shadow.

The shadow was no longer just a shadow. It now had form, a face.

A face that looked just like Sora's.

In fact, this shadow looked like Sora in almost every way. The only difference; the Shadow's hair was jet black, and his eyes were a sharp gold. A smirk was clearly present on his face, obviously enjoying Sora's surprise. The Shadow also wore the form of Sora's dark mode, which was similar to Sora's regular clothes, just primarily black with a bit of red.

"Who am I?" the Shadow laughed. "I'm the dark shadow that still rests within your heart."

"What?" Sora asked. "What are you talking about!"

The Shadow just laughed.

Enraged, Sora drew his blade.

"Hmph," the Shadow muttered, drawing a Keyblade of his own. It appeared in a cloud of darkness, slowly taking shape in his hand. The Keyblade itself was also primarily black and red, a pair of demon's wings forming the hilt, and many red thorns making up the teeth of the blade. The most interesting part about his Keyblade was that it was bound in chains. A string of darkness slowly formed out from the blade itself, and the Shadow took this in his other hand. The string of darkness slowly transformed into a string of chains, which the Shadow immediately began to twirl playfully.

"Now are you going to fight me?" the Shadow laughed. "Or did I come all the way out here for nothing?"

A scream of rage left Sora's lips and he rushed forward, bringing his blade crashing down.

The Shadow only smirked. He dropped his chains and raised his hand, easily stopping Sora's blade. Sora's eyes went wide in shock, realizing this, and he quickly struggled to pull his blade out of the Shadow's grasp. The Shadow held on tightly, still grinning. After moment, however, he simply threw Sora back, and burst out laughing.

"Pathetic!" he taunted. "Is that seriously all you've got? Please tell me it's not, because otherwise my life is going to be _very_ boring."

"Shut up!" Sora shouted, quickly jumping to his feet.

"Shut up? You're telling me to shut up already? This is seriously going to be too easy! I've only just gotten started!"

The Shadow dodged out of the way of another of Sora's attacks and quickly retaliated with quite a few strikes from his own blade, which landed rather nicely.

Sora cried out in pain.

The Shadow only laughed, seeming extremely surprised. "I haven't even started up any of my dark attacks and you're screaming! No wonder why you could never beat Riku."

"What!" Sora shouted. "How do you know about-"

"I am _you_, idiot," his Shadow replied. "I don't just look like you, I _am_ you."

Sora frowned.

_This shadow that's been following me all this time… is… me?_

_ That's crazy!_

"Crazy?" the Shadow laughed. "Are you kidding? It makes perfect sense when you think about it hard enough."

_And he can hear my thoughts!_

_ That's not fair…_

"Leave me alone!" Sora yelled, charging forward again.

The Shadow merely teleported out of the way and then sent his chains lashing out, grabbing on to Sora's leg. He quickly pulled, causing Sora to land flat on his face. Sora groaned and rose to his feet, shaking the chains off of him.

The Shadow only continued to laugh.

"Boy are you weak," he taunted. "_Weak!_ I'm barely even trying over here!"

"What do you want?" Sora asked.

The Shadow paused for a second. "I was trying to drag you back into darkness somehow," he said with a shrug. A wicked grin formed on his face. "But at the rate we're going, it looks like I'm going to end up killing you instead."

Sora rushed forward again, managing to land a few hits. The Shadow jumped out of the way after a moment and sent a few bolts of dark lightning lashing out. Sora gasped in pain and stumbled back.

"Oh! Look at that pain on his face!" the Shadow laughed, clearly enjoying this. "Has poor little Sora never been struck by dark lightning before? Oh wait! No he hasn't."

"Would you quit it?" Sora snapped. "You're getting annoying!"

"Can't a guy have some fun?" the Shadow asked, twirling his chains playfully again.

Sora rushed forward again, ready to strike.

"Apparently not…" the Shadow sighed. He, for once, brought up his blade to block Sora's attack. There was a flurry of strikes and blocks for a bit, as Sora continued to attempt to attack. Eventually the Shadow just got tired of this and teleported out of the way, leaving Sora rather confused.

The Shadow's chains lashed out again, like a whip, catching Sora in the shoulder. Sora turned to him, furious.

The Shadow only smiled. "I bet this battle would be a lot easier for you if you started using some dark attacks," he said.

"I'm not going to use the darkness!" Sora shouted.

"Really now?" the Shadow laughed. "Lame! It would be a lot more fun that way, you know that, right?"

"I'm _not_ giving into the darkness!" Sora insisted.

"I can feel it growing inside of you," the Shadow said, voice quiet. "The darkness. It's rearing up, feeding off all the rage you're throwing at me."

"Shut up!" Sora screamed, charging again.

"I don't think so," his Shadow laughed, throwing his chains out and catching Sora by the waist, easily pulling him to the ground.

Sora groaned.

_He's so… strong…_

_ Why is he so strong?_

_ Would it really be easier if I gave into the darkness…?_

_ No! I can't think that!_

_ I won't give into the darkness._

_ I won't!_

_ But how am I going to get out alive?_

_ I have almost no way of winning this…_

The Shadow quietly drew his chains back to him, enjoying Sora's internal struggle. Amusement danced across his face, as Sora practically admitted that he couldn't win this battle. This was going to be easy.

And boring.

He didn't like boring.

"Well… I'll just have to make it more interesting…" the Shadow muttered to himself.

He grinned, getting an idea.

He quickly shot Dark Firaga, which to his surprise Sora blocked with his blade.

"Hey! That's more like it!" the Shadow laughed.

He let the battle play out for a while longer, postponing his plan for the moment. As long as Sora put up a good fight, he could keep himself entertained.

They were currently clashing blades as Sora continued to strike and the Shadow continued to block. Occasionally the Shadow would block with his chains instead, and land a nice hit on Sora. Besides that his chains remained in his left hand, constantly twirling as he blocked Sora's every attack with his blade.

"You're not as bad as I thought you were!" the Shadow said, taking a step back.

_He's good at close-ranged combat…_

_ Well, then I just need to gain the upper hand._

The Shadow jumped back, and then unleashed a large amount of dark lightning. Sora quickly dodged out of the way, avoiding many of the strikes. The Shadow continued throwing lightning at him though. Eventually, one would have to hit.

Finally, one did. Sora stumbled, a gasp escaping his mouth. The Shadow grinned and shot another dark lightning bolt, and then another.

A scream escaped Sora's lips as the dark lightning lashed at his back and he fell onto his face. His Keyblade spun out of his reach. He lunged forward to grab it, only to have the Shadow's chains catch him by the wrist. The Shadow slowly pulled, dragging Sora into a sitting position.

"I didn't think so," the Shadow snorted, and then stuck his blade into the ground, restraining Sora.

Sora tried to wriggle free, to no avail. The Shadow waltzed past him, right to his abandoned Keyblade.

"How pathetic," the Shadow muttered, slowly reaching down and picking up the Keyblade. He made sure to take his sweet time about it. "Here _you_ are, trapped, and here _I_ am about to kill you with your own blade."

"Shut up!" Sora shouted, again trying to pull free.

The Shadow just chuckled. "It's not going to work," he laughed. "Enough of you wants this to happen that the rest of you won't be able to break free."

"What are you talking about!" Sora screamed, furious.

The Shadow just laughed, waiting for the realization to hit him.

Sora gasped.

"My darkness…" he whispered. "My darkness wants this…"

"Exactly," the Shadow said, a cocky smile on his face. "Now, if you'll give in, I guess I could let you off the hook."

"Never!" Sora snapped.

The Shadow shrugged. "Have it your way then," he slowly walked over, Keyblade bared.

_He's taking his time on purpose,_ Sora thought bitterly. _Just giving me more time to change my mind…_ He glanced behind him, seeing the Shadow's Keyblade.

"Huh," he muttered. He shifted, and then kicked the blade out of the ground. It flew through the air for a second, before he caught it. He rushed forward, striking through the Shadow.

He burst out laughing, as if the blade didn't even hit him. "You did _not_ want to do that," he laughed.

Sora was about to ask why, when he got his answer. Darkness shot from the Keyblade in his hands to the chains at his wrists to the rest of him, coursing through him like a snake. He gasped, and fell, writhing in pain.

The Shadow just continued to laugh, as he watched, obviously amused. He then summoned his Keyblade to him. The chains let Sora go, but it didn't matter. He was in too much pain to move.

"I guess my job is done," the Shadow shrugged. "See ya!" And he was gone, leaving Sora to writhe in pain.

* * *

><p>what? more author's notes! you're kidding me!<p>

sorry, but i figured, if you were curious, the answer is YES I did base Sora's Shadow slightly of off Vanitas (almost positive i wrote my first character development thing for him while Van was kicking my butt) not entirely, but slightly


	30. Uneasy Feelings

Nope. Ansem's gone.

and yes, basically, Sora's Shadow is Sora's darkness forming a will of its own. Though, I plan to go through and further explain him and how he was created and whatnot. If i don't... well... I'll let you guys know in an authors note at the end, kay?

and... here's a pretty randomish question. however, I honestly want to know how you guys feel about swearing (cursing, cussing, bad words, whatever the heck you want to call it) I know that's random, but apparently Sora's Shadow has a nasty habit of swearing, and I want to know how hard I have to try to censor him

* * *

><p>"Hey, Kairi!"<p>

Kairi turned, a bit surprised. Selphie was calling her. She didn't talk to Selphie often. There were a few times during these past months, where she and Namine would hang out with Selphie occasionally. But usually, Selphie was always hanging out with Tidus and Wakka.

"Hi," Kairi said, attempting a smile.

"Things have been quiet lately, haven't they?" Selphie asked, sitting down next to Kairi.

Kairi was sitting on the shore by the waves, trying to write another letter to Sora. She merely nodded in response to Selphie's question.

"Everyone's disappearing lately, aren't they?" Selphie continued. "First Sora, then Riku-"

"And now Namine," Kairi sighed. She wasn't mad at Namine or anything. She had seen what had happened, even though from a distance. However, she knew that Namine had nearly been kidnapped, and had just narrowly escaped. And she had the feeling that now Namine was with Riku.

Which was fine, because she knew that was exactly where Namine wanted to be.

"I wonder what happened…" Selphie said slowly.

"To who?" Kairi asked, voice cracking slightly. She hoped Selphie didn't ask about Sora. She didn't want to explain what had happened to Sora.

"Well, I know something happened to Sora, and now Riku's looking for him," Selphie replied. "But I don't know what happened to Namine."

Kairi laughed slightly. "Something happened to Sora" was quite the understatement. But she didn't say anything about that. Instead, she started to explain what happened to Namine, but paused. Would Selphie understand that?

She sighed.

"Namine's with Riku now," Kairi said finally. "She left a while ago, as you know. And don't ask me if that upsets me, because it doesn't. I know that's where she wants to be, and Riku probably wants her there, too."

_Wherever "there" is…_ her thoughts added, but she didn't say this.

"The two of them are inseparable, huh?" Selphie laughed.

"Yeah," Kairi replied, quickly writing something else down in her letter.

"What's that?" Selphie asked.

"A letter I'm writing to Sora," Kairi explained. "I've been sending a lot of them, hoping that one will reach him. I have no idea where he is, or if it's possible to _get_ these letters where he is. But… I'm still going to try."

"What's it say?"

Kairi sighed. Selphie asked a lot of questions. "They all say the same thing, really," she muttered. "I ask him how he's doing, tell him that I'm worried about him, and then say that I hope he'll write back. I doubt he will, but it kind of makes me feel better… so…"

"Gee… I hope he comes back soon," Selphie said.

"Me too," Kairi whispered. "I'm just… scared…"

"Huh? Why?"

Kairi shook her head. "You wouldn't understand."

XXX

Namine sat in her room, drawing. She had found a few colored pencils lying around, though how _that_ made sense was a mystery, and she had collected quite the amount of paper. It wasn't a perfect solution, and she still wanted her sketchbook, but for now it would have to do.

From what she knew, the battle was still going on downstairs. Though, it had been a while, so she was expecting Riku to come and tell her that it was safe any minute now.

Unless… of course… something happened.

Namine laughed slightly at that thought. Riku was probably fine. She knew he could handle himself in battle, so the likeliness of him dying was slim. And anyways, he acted as if this was completely normal around here, and he dealt with things like this often. He probably did.

The door opened, and Namine glanced up. Riku was standing there, looking a bit tired, but smiling nonetheless.

"Sorry it took so long," Riku laughed, sitting down next to her on the bed. "It took longer to get rid of 37 than it usually does." He shrugged. "You've been alright by yourself, right?"

Namine laughed. "I've been drawing, of course I'm alright," she replied with a grin.

He grinned back.

Namine frowned for a moment, thinking. "Do you think I could hang these on the wall?" she asked after a moment, flipping through the pictures she had drawn.

Riku chuckled. "I don't see why not," he said with a shrug. "We'd just have to figure out how to hang them up." He inched closer to her, glancing over her shoulder. "Whatcha working on now?" he asked.

She blushed slightly and moved her hand away from the picture so he could see. It was a picture of the two of them. They sat on one of the couches in Castle Oblivion. Joseph stood behind the couch, and Riku was turned slightly as if to yell at him. Namine appeared to be laughing. Vexen was in the background, taking notes. Alpha sat on the other end of the couch, with his laptop.

Namine shrugged. "It's a bit random…" she muttered. "I've sort of been doodling."

Riku smiled. "For doodling, it's really good," he told her. He grabbed her free hand in his, squeezing it.

"Thanks," she replied, squeezing his hand back.

He gasped, sounding surprised and slightly pained. He pulled his hand away and examined it, trying to figure out why it was hurting. He moved his fingers carefully, checking for any pain.

"Oh my gosh!" Namine exclaimed. "Are you okay? You're hurt, aren't you?"

"It's nothing," Riku assured her.

"What happened?"

"Umm… well…" Riku laughed nervously. "I sort of, might have punched one of the Lexaeus Replicas' axe swords. Or rather, I punched, and then that was in the way, and…" he trailed off. "I'm fine though! They're not broken or anything." He wiggled his fingers to prove this. They all moved fine.

"It's just a bit sore…" he muttered finally.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Namine asked.

At this, Riku laughed. "Yes! This is nothing, trust me. Compared to everything other injury I've had in the past three months, I'm positive I can live with a slightly sore hand."

Namine raised her eyebrows. "Injuries?"

Riku sighed and began listing them off. "There was that nasty bruise on my shoulder that hurt so bad I couldn't even move my arm. Then I got stabbed with a knife right by the bruise, and then a lightning bolt hit me there, too. That just _sucked._" He shook his head and continued; "There was also the scythe that nearly took my head off. I had a rather nasty cut in my side, too. I think that one scarred. I also nearly broke my leg, though that was Joseph's fault. Him and his skateboard… I did end up with a scraped knee from that. All that and I had two scratches on my face just recently, though that wasn't serious…" He shrugged.

Namine rubbed her head. "You need to be more careful!" she told him.

"The most serious thing out of all of that was the fact I had my head nearly cut off," Riku said. "I would have lived through the rest of those things. I _did_ live through the rest of those things."

"Still…" Namine muttered.

"Tell you what," Riku laughed. "If there's ever a time when I get hurt enough that I might end up dying, I'll make sure I come see you. If anything, I want my last moments to be with you."

Namine blushed. "But, that's not going to happen, right?" she asked, trying to be serious.

Riku shrugged. "I can't promise you I won't die. But I can promise that I won't go down without a fight."

"Alright," Namine laughed. "That's good enough."

Riku laughed at that, and before long they were both laughing.


	31. Savior

don't worry, if Sora's Shadow was cursing every three words, I'd sit him in a corner and tell him to stop.

I just realized how out of place Leon is... all of the important Final Fantasy characters in KH are from 7. Except Leon. Weird...

oh, and before anyone asks, I am not shipping Cloud and Aerith. It may seem like it, but I'm not. There's a different reason why Aerith is being so nice to Cloud (though I'm not telling what! =D)

* * *

><p>Sora was quite surprised to awake in a comfortable bed, for a few different reasons. For starters, he couldn't really remember falling unconscious in the first place. That, and he <em>knew<em> where he had been before this, and the chances of someone finding him, and then bother dragging him to a place with a comfortable bed…

Well, they were slim.

And, judging by his surroundings, he wasn't anywhere near the castle of Hollow Bastion any longer.

So, someone had to have found him.

But who?

He quickly found out when he sat up, and someone came rushing over. Said someone was a girl (if that was the correct term, as she did seem to be a quite few years older than him) who wore a pink dress and had her braided hair tied up in a pink ribbon.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Sora nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay," he replied. "But… uh… where am I?"

"Oh, this is our headquarters. We're in the town around the Castle. I found you up at the Castle and insisted that Leon bring you here."

Leon. That name sounded familiar…

But, more importantly, since when was there a town in Hollow Bastion? Sora had never seen or heard of such a place. Though, his time at Hollow Bastion was rather… well…

He wasn't quite paying attention to things like this.

"I'm Aerith, by the way."

"I'm Sora."

"Hmm… that name sounds familiar…" Aerith muttered, turning away as she thought about something.

Sora frowned, also thinking. He wanted to know where he had heard the name Leon before. And, Aerith's name sounded familiar, too, now that he thought about it. But where had he heard them?

Then it hit him.

Leon's gang had helped Riku out.

_Back when I wasn't… alright… _Sora sighed.

"Oh well!" Aerith laughed. "Come on, let's go talk to everyone else!"

Before Sora quite knew what was happening, Aerith was dragging him off. She kept talking as they went, mentioning quite a few things, though the only one Sora actually caught had something to do with a guy named Cid. Apparently, he was cooking.

"Hey! Look who's finally up!" someone shouted as they entered the room where everyone else was.

Sora assumed this person was Cid, because he was standing over a stove and seemed to be making soup. Therefore, it was easy to assume this was the cooking Cid that Aerith had mentioned just a bit ago.

"How long have I been out?" Sora asked quietly, turning to Aerith.

"All day," Aerith replied with a shrug.

Sora frowned. That didn't sound good.

Apparently, his run-in with his Shadow had taken quite the toll on him.

"More importantly, let me introduce you," Aerith said. "That's Cid over there, cooking."

"Hey," Cid called. "You sure are lucky kid; I'm making my soup tonight!"

"Over there is Yuffie." Aerith pointed to a girl about Sora's age with black hair that came to her shoulders. She was sitting on a crate, and seemed to be polishing her weapon, which was a rather large shuriken. She smiled devilishly when her name was mentioned.

"That's Leon." Aerith pointed to a man with brown hair and a scar across his face who wore primarily black. He was sitting at the table, staring at his cup of tea as if he was unsure if he should drink it. He did, however, wave when his name was mentioned.

"And that's Cloud!" Aerith pointed last at a man with spiky blonde hair who sat across from Leon. He was also wearing primarily black, and looked a bit tense. He only glanced up at the mention of his name, but his gaze was intense. Sora couldn't help but notice Cloud's bright blue eyes.

"He doesn't stay with us often," Aerith continued. "It's really nice when he does though!"

"So, kid, what's your name?" Cid asked, looking up from his soup.

"Sora."

Yuffie's eyes went wide in shock. "You!" she exclaimed, pointing her shuriken threateningly at Sora. "You're that kid who was causing trouble a while ago! Riku was having problems with you!"

Sora winced.

"Oh yeah," Cid said. "I remember you!"

_Crap…_ Sora thought to himself. _This doesn't seem like it will turn out well…_

"Be nice," Aerith scolded.

"Nice? After all that he did?" Yuffie exclaimed. "You're kidding me!"

"I think the annoying one is right," Cid muttered, (Yuffie protested to being called annoying, but she was ignored). "No one likes a party pooper."

"Listen, I-" Sora began.

"Yeah!" Yuffie shouted in agreement. "What were you thinking, doing things like-"

"Leave him alone."

Cloud had decided to speak up.

And, surprisingly, everyone listened to him.

"Just because he's messed up in the past doesn't mean he needs to be reminded of it," Cloud continued. His voice was quiet, and rough. "I'm sure he doesn't want to be bothered."

"Fine…" Yuffie muttered.

Sora raised his eyebrows, slightly surprised. Yuffie didn't seem like the person to take orders from just anybody. Apparently, Cloud had earned her respect.

"Listen, I am _really_ sorry," Sora sighed. "I didn't really know what I was doing then."

"Yeah right! I think you-" Yuffie began, but was quickly silenced by a glare from Cloud.

"I agree with Cloud," Leon said. "Let's leave Sora's past alone."

"Soup's ready!" Cid shouted.

Yuffie quickly scrambled to get to the table. Aerith nodded at Sora to go ahead and sit down, and then went and got bowls for everyone. Cid came over and set the large pot of soup in the middle of the table and then proceeded to fill the bowls Aerith handed him and passed them around the table.

From the looks of things, they did this often.

"Thank you," Sora said, when his bowl was passed to him.

"You're welcome!" Aerith laughed, getting her own bowl and sitting down next to him.

Cid's soup turned out to be extremely good, and Sora found himself asking for seconds in only a short amount of time. Cid snapped at him to wait (and was scolded by Aerith for it) because at the time he was dealing with Yuffie, who was already on her third bowl. Leon asked for seconds soon after this. For some reason, Cloud never had to ask for a refill, because Aerith was already refilling his bowl before he _could_ ask.

Sora learned a lot over the course of dinner.

For starters, Leon's gang used to live in Hollow Bastion (though, he never learned if Cloud used to live here or not), and were now trying to restore it to its former glory. The Heartless were, however, causing problems. Sora offered to help, at least with the Heartless problem. It wouldn't be any different than what he and Riku had been doing. And, if he was going to be randomly killing Heartless, he might as well be killing them for good reason.

When he asked if staying here would be a problem, Aerith quickly told him that it would be no problem at all. They were used to random people crashing with them, whether it be people they knew (such as Cloud, or another girl named Tifa that also came to stay often) or people that they absolutely had no relation to. Sora found out that Riku had even stayed with them for a while, back when they were in Traverse Town. Well, it was more of just Namine, because Riku apparently didn't stay for very long.

However, on the subject of Riku and Namine, Sora started talking more. He again apologized for all the trouble he had caused, though he was told not to worry about it. Someone asked how Riku was doing now, and Sora went ahead to explain that.

By dessert (which was ice cream sundaes that Aerith made), they were already joking about Riku and Namine, and Cid, Yuffie, and Aerith placed their bets on when they'd get together. Only Yuffie seemed to be serious on wanting something if she won though. Aerith didn't seem to care, and Cid couldn't come up with anything that he wanted if he _did_ win. Leon had decided not to make a bet, mainly because that sort of thing just wasn't… him. When Cloud was questioned about his bet-making, he pointed out rather flatly that he knew neither Riku nor Namine, and therefore could not make a bet on the two of them.

Cid kept cracking jokes throughout the entire meal, and almost everyone was laughing by now. Leon was at least smiling, and Cloud was just frowning. Though, the last few jokes had been about him, so he had reason not to laugh.

_I can't believe I'm having such a good time… _Sora thought with a smile. _And Hollow Bastion was the exact place I NEVER wanted to go, too._

_ That's irony for you, I guess…_

"So why did you leave Castle Oblivion?" Leon asked suddenly, turning to Sora.

Sora's laughter came to an abrupt stop when faced with that question. He wasn't sure how to answer, exactly. His main reason was to find out who that Shadow was. He had figured that out, but he still had a few more questions about it, and he would probably need to destroy it eventually, so his quest on that was still not over. He, however, couldn't mention his Shadow. He was the only one who could see it, so mentioning it to other people would be crazy.

One of his other reasons was to give Riku and Namine some space. However, using that as his reason for leaving would also be crazy.

His only other reason was that he was tired of hurting people without meaning to. He didn't really want to mention that though, either.

"I had to do some things alone," he muttered lamely after a moment. It was as good of a reason as any, and it wasn't a lie or anything.

"Sounds like _someone_ else I know," Yuffie said, casting a meaningful glance at Cloud.

Cloud returned this with a glare.

"Be nice to Cloud!" Aerith scolded.

Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Well, I don't know about you kids," Cid said, rising to his feet. "But I'm tired. I'm going to bed!"

"Goodnight Cid!" Aerith called as he headed up the stairs to where all the rooms were. She turned back to the rest of the group. "Is anyone else tired?"

"I'm not tired!" Yuffie proclaimed firmly.

"I might go to bed…" Leon muttered, standing up and also going up the stairs.

"What about you, Sora?" Aerith asked.

Sora shrugged. He might have only been awake for a few hours, but he was feeling rather tired. "I guess I'll go to bed too," he said, slowly rising to his feet. He made his way toward the stairs, a bit unsure of where he was supposed to go. He couldn't quite remember what room he had stayed in. Aerith had dragged him off before he could make note of that.

"Cloud, you should get some rest, too," Aerith said.

"I know," he replied.

Sora was about halfway up the stairs by this point, and Cloud walked past him.

"Thank you, by the way," Sora called. Cloud paused, and glanced over his shoulder. "For earlier," Sora added, shrugging.

Cloud nodded. "It was nothing," he said simply, before continuing to walk.

Sora wondered if he should say anymore, but decided against it. He continued on his search for his room. Behind him, he could hear Aerith scolding Yuffie about not getting enough sleep, and he laughed slightly.

_Aerith's like everyone's mother,_ he thought, as he finally found his room. _She's always looking out for everyone. Especially Cloud._

_I wonder who he is, exactly…_

_Well… I'm sure if I stay here long enough, I'll find out eventually._

He had found his room by this point. And fell asleep moments after lying down.


	32. For Those Who Fight

I'm not happy about how this chapter cut off...  
>but, because of when and how I wrote it (in a notebook while our power was pretty much out a few weeks ago. Don't ask, it was the only thing I felt like writing at the time) it ended up being like... 3000 words, and the cut off couldn't be ANYWHERE in the middle because that was in the middle of the boss battle thingy...<p>

sigh. Anyways, saw Harry Potter last night. It was awesome. I doubt you really care.

* * *

><p>Sora was in for a very rude awakening the next morning.<p>

"Aw shoot!" Cid was shouting. "Not again! This makes twice this week!" His shouts were accompanied with quite a few bangs and crashes. Soon all this noise was accompanied by Yuffie complaining about Cid waking her up. By the time Sora made his way out there, Leon was standing between Yuffie and Cid, preventing them from breaking out into a fight.

"Calm down!" Aerith scolded. "We should be fighting the Heartless, not each other!"

"Does this happen _every_ day?" Sora found himself wondering aloud.

Cloud, who had been standing next to him, watching the scene with mild amusement, just shrugged. "Cid and Yuffie have never gotten along," he replied simply.

A rather large _crash_ came from outside, and the fighting immediately stopped.

"We need to get moving," Leon said quickly, readying his gunblade. "We've got Heartless to take care of!"

"We'd already be out there if little miss hadn't started arguing with me!" Cid shouted, nodding in Yuffie's direction. "Now someone help me get this cannon outside!" When no one offered to help, he glanced over at Sora. "Hey kid, give me a hand here!"

"Uhh… okay…" Sora muttered, heading over to help Cid. Between the two of them, they managed to wheel the cannon out onto the street, where quite a few Heartless were starting to gather.

"What's with the cannon?" Sora asked after a moment.

"Most efficient way to take care of these things," Cid laughed, glancing at the Heartless. He took aim and started charging it up.

"Alright, we'll split up," Leon said. "Aerith, come with me. Sora and Cloud, you two stick together, and Yuffie can stay here with Cid."

Cid's cannon had fired by this point, destroying quite the amount of Heartless and almost hitting Yuffie.

"Hey! Watch it!" she shouted, turning to glare at Cid.

"On second thought…" Leon muttered. "Yuffie, you're with me. Aerith, stay here with Cid."

"Okay!" Aerith said happily.

Yuffie all too happily ran over to Leon and the two of them headed off to a different area.

"Why do you think we got paired together?" Sora asked, glancing at Cloud.

Cloud shrugged, pulling out his sword. The sword was rather large. "I don't know," he replied, sounding as if he didn't care either. "You can fight, right?" he asked, turning to Sora with raised eyebrows.

"Of course!" Sora laughed, drawing his Keyblade.

Cloud nodded. "Just making sure," he muttered.

XXX

Most of the Heartless in their area were Neoshadows, for some reason, though there were a few others. A few that were particularly in abundance were the Morning Stars, which were large and round and liked to drop out of the sky and land on the heads of their victims. There were also Armored Knights, which were pretty self explanatory. To top that off, there were also a few Bookmasters, which liked to stand off to the side and cast magic, and if anyone got too close to them, they would whack said person over the head with their book.

"Hey, Cloud," Sora called, taking out a few Neoshadows. "How do you know everyone here?"

Cloud said nothing for a moment, focusing on a few of the Armored Knights that were coming at him. Finally, he said: "A friend of mine knew Aerith. And well… you know how Aerith is. She introduced me to everyone else."

"Friend?" Sora asked.

Cloud shook his head and continued killing Heartless.

Sora grimaced, now feeling guilty for asking. He continued with the Heartless killing himself, taking out quite a few at once. He laughed slightly at that. It wasn't often he ran across Heartless that were weak enough that he could kill more than one at a time.

"Where'd you learn to fight so well?" Cloud said, pausing for a second.

Sora frowned. He had first learned how to fight because of the darkness. It wasn't really a happy thought. Though, Cloud had asked where'd he'd learned to fight _well_, so… that would be Castle Oblivion.

However…

"I needed to learn how to defend myself," Sora replied after a moment. "I had a few things I had to fight alone."

Cloud laughed slightly. "Me too," he said.

_I wonder what Cloud has to fight…_ Sora thought, attacking a few more Heartless.

_Yuffie mentioned that he was fighting alone…_

_ I wonder if he's like me._

_ Though, I doubt he has a Shadow following him around and trying to kill him._

_ That's probably only me…_

Sora sighed.

_My life is SO weird!_

"Watch out!" Cloud shouted.

Sora glanced up just in time to see a Morning Star about to attack him. He got ready to dodge, or maybe block, only to find he didn't need to. Before he could even think, Cloud had eliminated the Heartless for him.

Sora stood there in shock for a moment, actually quite embarrassed. It had been a while since a Heartless had snuck up on him.

_Goodness…_ he thought with a laugh. _I'm as bad as Riku._

"Are you alright?" Cloud asked.

Sora glanced up at him. Cloud was looking at him with that intense gaze that he had. He laughed nervously and nodded.

"Thanks," he said.

Cloud just nodded and returned to killing other Heartless. Sora quickly did the same. There were a few Bookmasters hiding in the corners, so he started focusing and on and getting rid of them. Once finished with that, he turned to fight the Neoshadows that had been sneaking up on him. However, quite a few had decided to gang up on him, and started dealing a lot of damage.

And to top that off, a Morning Star decided it would be a wonderful idea to land on top of him, too.

Sora stumbled back in pain. He glared at all the Heartless that stood before him and gritted his teeth, before charging forward. He quickly dealt with the Morning Star, and then continued focusing on the Neoshadows. Once they were gone he stood there for a second, his breath a bit short. Finally, he turned to the next set of Neoshadows and rushed forward.

Well, more of stumbled forward.

"Watch yourself!" Cloud warned.

Energy shot through Sora and he felt his strength slowly find its way back to him.

"Thanks," he called to Cloud, who had obviously Cured him.

Cloud only nodded and returned to killing Heartless. Sora sighed, wishing not for the first time that he knew how to cast magic.

Maybe he'd ask about it.

Someone around here had to be able to teach him how.

In the meantime, however, there was Heartless to kill.

Before long, the amount of Heartless was beginning to dwindle.

"Let's head back to Cid," Cloud said, finishing off the last Heartless.

"Yeah," Sora agreed.

They made their way back in that direction, killing those few leftover Heartless that were still about as they went. They had just finished with a group of Morning Stars when a large crash and the sound of Cid shouting caused them to pause.

Sora frowned, noticing something. The feeling that he got whenever a large Heartless (or anything particularly dark, for that matter) was around had settled into his stomach. He turned to Cloud.

Cloud was frowning. After a moment though, he turned to Sora and nodded.

They took off running

XXX

A large flying Heartless (known as the Phantomtail) was flying above them all, apparently not wanting to land. Everyone seemed to be doing alright though. Cid could shoot it with his cannon, Yuffie was chucking her shuriken at it. Leon and Aerith were using magic to take it down. Leon fought mainly with fire magic, and Aerith spent most of her time curing everyone.

Cloud quickly took this in stride and started casting thunder magic at it.

Sora sighed, yet again wishing he knew how to cast magic.

"Don't just stand there, kid!" Cid called towards Sora. "Do something!"

"Yeah… about that…" Sora muttered feeling rather embarrassed. "I sort of can't use magic…"

"Can't use magic! What do you mean you can't use magic!" Yuffie shouted, pausing mid-throw and turning to stare at Sora in shock. "I can use magic and I don't even need to!"

"Yuffie!" Leon warned.

She frowned, and then continued attacking the Phantomtail.

"Sora, take care of them," Leon said, nodding in the direction of a few Neoshadows that were still about.

Sora nodded and went to deal with the Neosahdows while everyone else worried about the Phantomtail.

_I feel… sort of useless…_ Sora thought with a sigh. _I never expected I'd need to use magic, I guess…_

He angrily drove his blade though a Neoshadow. It died almost instantly.

A sense of satisfaction ran through him, and he shuddered. It wasn't like he felt guilty about killing Heartless or anything, but he definitely didn't find their deaths _satisfying_.

Or… amusing.

Sora frowned, trying to make sense of the emotions that were running through him. They weren't typically emotions he would feel in this situation.

His eyes went wide as he realized something.

"Shadow!" he hissed loathingly.

Now he was wondering if his Shadow was laughing at the Heartless or at him.

"Sora!" someone called, pulling him out of his thoughts. He turned, and found that they had managed to knock the Phantomtail out of the air. Everyone was currently wailing on it with their weapons. Well, everyone but Aerith. Apparently, Aerith's melee attacks didn't do much damage, so she stuck to magic.

Sora was a bit surprised to find that Cid used a spear as his weapon of choice. He had chucked it at the Phantomtail and was now yelling at someone to bring it back to him, as he couldn't walk away from the cannon. Sora laughed and fetched it for him and then ran to attack the Phantomtail before it got back up again.

"Dangit!" Cid shouted, and with obvious reason. The Phantomtail was starting to rise into the air again.

"Y'all get out of the way!" Cid called. "I'll see if I can knock it out before it gets back up!" With this he started charging up the cannon with what appeared to be a really powerful attack.

Everyone quickly got out of the way.

The cannon fired with explosive force (nearly taking out Cid) and unleashed a large blast of energy. Said large blast of energy shot towards the Phantomtail, scorching the air around it as it did so. When it hit the Phantomtail there was a large flash of light and what might have been an explosion or two.

And yet somehow, the Phantomtail was still standing.

Noticing this, Cloud rushed forward and jumped into the air, bringing his blade crashing down on its head. That killed it.

"So you don't know how to use magic?" Leon asked, turning to Sora with quite the shocked expression.

Sora shook his head.

"Well then we'll just have to teach you how!" Aerith laughed. "I'm sure Leon won't mind!"

Leon shrugged. "That… and maybe a few other pointers on how to fight," he said thoughtfully, sounding as if he actually liked (or at least approved of) the idea. "We could get started on that now, if you-"

"Leon!" Yuffie shouted suddenly. "I think that's going to have to wait!"


	33. For Those Who Fight Further

how embarrassing... I can't believe i uploaded the same chapter twice...

At the moment, it's up to Sephiroth if he wants to show up or not. I have plans for him if he does decide to show up. If he doesn't, then… he doesn't. However, if it turns out I need him, I will drag him in kicking and screaming.

as to Sora not knowing magic... he explains that himself (thank goodness!)

as to Merlin... well... I have no idea where Merlin is. So... well... besides, this is a parallel universe, things are allowed to happen differently

oh, by the way, Leon's Headquarters is NOT Merlin's house. It's Aerith's. I hope to cover that in story, sometime... but... idk if I will

* * *

><p>"Leon!" Yuffie shouted suddenly. "I think that's going to have to wait!"<p>

Everyone turned to see what she was worrying about.

More Heartless were starting to appear.

Cid swore.

"This cannon's going to take an _hour_ to charge! I only fired that last shot because I thought we were going to be done!"

His rant continued, but he had slipped back into swearing. Aerith started scolding him for that, and Sora couldn't help but laugh.

"We're regrouping!" Leon called over Cid (who was now badmouthing the Heartless). "Sora, you're with me, Yuffie—you're with Aerith. Cloud stays with Cid."

Cloud frowned, not seeming to like the thought of having to stay with the still swearing Cid. He, however, didn't say anything.

"Let's go Sora," Leon said, running off.

Sora nodded and followed.

XXX

"You don't know how to use magic?" Leon asked, again. Though, they way he said it this time, he might as well have said: "How do you _not_ know how to use magic?"

Sora shrugged.

"I've only been using my Keyblade for a month," he replied. Noting Leon's very confused expression he added: "I know I've had it longer, but there were these three months where I went missing, and I'm almost positive I did not fight during that time."

At this Leon seemed to get more confused. "Missing?" he muttered, glancing at Sora as if he was crazy. "_You_ didn't know where you-"

"I don't remember most of it," Sora said quickly.

Leon paused, considering this. After a moment he must have decided it made sense (or at least decided not to ask further questions) because he stopped looking at Sora as if he was crazy and returned to killing Heartless.

Sora shrugged and did the same.

A thought occurred to him after a moment, though, and he turned to Leon again.

"Did Riku not tell you about this?" he asked.

"We haven't seen Riku in three months," Leon replied.

"Really?" Sora muttered, shocked.

_I assumed he would have searched here. This has to be the most obvious place that I might have shown up!_

_Unless he only searched the Castle…_

Sora shook his head and went back to killing the Armored Knights.

"Careful!" Leon called, taking out a Guardian that was sneaking up on Sora with some fire magic.

Sora laughed nervously. "Thanks."

Leon sighed. "First lesson in magic," he said. "You _need_ to stay focused. You can't cast if you can't focus."

Sora nodded.

"Focus," he repeated. "Got it."

_Riku would have trouble, then, _he thought with a laugh. _The only thing he can seem to focus on is Namine._

"Whoa!" he shouted, abruptly being pulled out of his thoughts. He quickly dodged out of the way of one Armored Knight and then blocking another.

"Focus!" Leon called.

"I know, I know," Sora replied, driving his blade through an Armored Knight.

"You can't focus?" came the taunting laugh of his Shadow.

Sora's nostrils flared, but he ignored it.

He wasn't going to give it the satisfaction of talking back.

XXX

The Heartless just kept coming.

And coming.

And coming.

Currently, Sora was paired with Aerith. The Heartless kept showing up in different groups with different types of Heartless per group. This current group had a lot of Guardians and Snapper Dogs. However, Aerith was quickly killing them with her magic. Sora just continued with the hack and slash, though Aerith was trying to get him to use magic. She had explained how it worked and everything. Sora still wasn't too sure.

"Come on, it's easy!" Aerith urged yet again. "You just have to focus your energy."

"I know," Sora sighed.

"Just give it a shot!" Aerith pleaded. "What harm could it do?"

"Fine…" Sora muttered.

Aerith clapped her hands together, all too excited.

"Start with fire!" she suggested. "Fire's easy!"

_Focus my thoughts and my energy, _Sora sighed. _Right…_

He aimed his Keyblade at a nearby Snapper Dog and gritted his teeth. He closed his eyes and gathered his energy.

A sudden heat filled the air and Aerith cheered.

"You did it!"

Sora slowly opened his eyes. The Snapper Dog in front of him was on fire, and soon faded.

"Hey!" Sora laughed, a grin forming on his face.

"Just don't overdo it," Aerith warned. "Magic drains a lot of your strength. You'll run out if you overuse it."

Sora nodded.

"I'll remember that," he said.

It was late afternoon by the time the Heartless stopped coming. Exhausted, everyone made their way back inside. Cid started cooking right away (well, right after his cannon was put away).

Within fifteen minutes, he was carrying over a large pot of soup.

"I went ahead and mixed a few elixirs in," Cid explained. "This should definitely refresh us after that long day."

"You're kidding!" Yuffie whined. "I just cured!"

Aerith laughed at that, and even Cloud smiled slightly.

"Oh, Sora! I have something for you!" Aerith said, digging through her pockets. "I meant to give it to you sooner, but- well… it's been hectic."

She pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to him. Sora frowned, wondering what this was. After a second he unfolded it and read it.

Sora

I don't know what to say anymore. This has to be the twentieth letter I've written. I mean, I guess I can only hope that you'll reply… but I'm getting really worried.

Are you okay?

How's your day been?

My day today was alright. A bit boring. Namine's left the islands, so I'm also a bit lonely. Only Selphie's around to talk to… and… well…

But, anyways, I just hope your okay.

And _please_ come home safely. _Please._

I want to talk to you again.

- Kairi

Sora paused, and then read the letter again.

And again.

_It's from Kairi…_

_When did she write this?_

_And… she's written twenty…?_

_Where have they all gone?_

_But… but…_

_She wrote me a letter._

_She wrote me MULTIPLE letters._

_And she's worried about me…_

_She wants me to come home…_

_She wants to talk to me…_

_Maybe she doesn't…_

He shook his head and then slowly folded the letter up and stuck it in his pocket.

"Who's Kairi?" Aerith asked, sounding too excited for Sora's mood.

"She's-" Sora began. He took a second before continuing. "She's a friend of mine. I haven't seen her in a while."

"You should go see home and see her!" Cid laughed.

Sora swallowed.

"It does sound like she misses you," Aerith added with a shrug.

Sora turned away, tears threatening to form in his eyes.

_They don't know… they don't know…_

_Oh gosh, how can I even face Kairi? I can't go home. I can't-_

_She MISSES me?_

_How can she-_

Finally, he stood up. "I'm going to bed…" he muttered, heading off to his room before they could say any more.

He sat down on his bed and pulled the letter out, reading it again.

"Kairi misses me…" he whispered.

A warmth spread through him at that. He folded the letter back up and shoved it in his pocket again. He lay down on his bed and sighed.

"Kairi misses me…" he repeated, closing his eyes.


	34. Can't Stand It

Sorry it took so long to upload this. I went ahead and figured out how Birth By Sleep fits in this universe, and wrote out a nice long description and posted it on my profile.

YAY!

And before you ask about the memory (the one at the end) I did copy it from the novel again. And then I went through and changed some of the script, combining it with the script from Re:CoM, because there were portions where I liked that version better. And... I edited it so it make sense and-  
>i'm just going to stop before i over explain it...<p>

* * *

><p>"Joseph says no one's seen my sketchbook," Namine sighed. Riku glanced up at her, and then scooted over so she had room to sit down.<p>

"I can ask about it," Riku suggested as she sat down next to him. "Everyone might just be too busy to talk to Joseph."

"Poor kid…" Namine muttered.

"He's used to it," Riku shrugged.

"It's still not right," Namine sighed. "Do you think Sora's okay?" she asked after a moment.

"He probably is," Riku laughed. "I don't think he'd get himself into _too_ much trouble. I mean, the worst that could happen is Ansem showing up again, and Sora's smart enough to not to listen to _him_ anymore."

Namine nodded. "Why did Sora leave, anyway?" she asked quietly.

"He wanted to deal with his darkness alone," Riku replied. "I can't argue with that."

"I suppose not…" Namine muttered.

The conversation of two passing Marluxia Replica's caught Riku's attention for a moment.

"I am so tired of Saix sending in all these search parties," one of them groaned. "I thought we were going to finally be rid of them, but apparently not."

"Oh come on," the other said. "You can't expect him to give up so easily. Even I knew that we couldn't keep them away forever."

At this Namine gasped in pain, as a sudden memory sprung to life within her.

"_I knew I couldn't keep you away forever," Sora said. But there was something off about his voice, as if someone else was speaking with him._

_Riku stared at him. Sora was still in Dark Mode and his Keyblade was already out. The thorns had gotten worse. However, he managed to say: "You've got that right." He swallowed. Something definitely wasn't right. "What's wrong with Kairi?" he asked after a moment._

_Sora seemed to wince slightly at that, but didn't answer._

_Oh gosh…_ Namine thought with a groan. _Not another one!_

_But… what happened?_

Despite how much this hurt, she was still curious. She had never learned the extent of what had happened when Ansem was in control of Sora.

"_Sora!" Riku called, shocked. Normally Sora would have at least said something. But- for him to not even saying anything… That worried Riku. And Riku had never worried this much about Sora before. He slowly rose to his feet._

"_Sora, what did you DO?" Riku asked._

"_Hmph," Sora said. "What does it matter to you?" he asked. His voice had its usual bitterness in it, but the voice behind his was almost amused._

_Riku scowled, glancing over at Kairi, and then back to Sora. He then glanced past Sora at the Keyhole, and could just FEEL the darkness flowing out of it. He shook his head in disgust. "What are you planning?" he asked. "You know that the darkness will devour you!"_

_Sora laughed. "The darkness holds no power over ME." However, Sora didn't sound too sure about that. The voice behind his, however, seemed perfectly confident in this._

_What the heck is Sora saying! _Namine thought angrily. _Does he even- oh… right… Ansem's controlling him._

'_This isn't Sora,' Riku concluded. 'Someone else is just using him. I wonder if he's even awake down there…'_

_I don't think he is…_ Namine thought sadly. _Oh gosh, why am I worrying about this! I just want the memory to stop! Who cares what happened IN it!_

But it still kept going.

"_Who are you?" he shouted. He had given up on trying to get through to Sora. The question was directed at whoever was controlling him. Maybe he'd be able to squeeze some answers out of them._

_They smiled at this. It was a smug smile, which didn't really belong on Sora's face. "It is I, Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness!" Sora's own voice had gotten quieter with the statement, while Ansem's had gotten louder._

"_Ansem?" Riku asked. He knew the name. However, where from was fleeting. But he did know one thing. He really disliked this person. He didn't know WHY, he just knew that he DID._

_I don't care!_ Namine was shouting. _I don't care what happened, I don't care why!_

_I just want it to stop!_

By this point she was in tears.

Maybe it was because of how much the memory hurt.

Maybe it was just out of pure bitterness and being absolutely _sick_ of the meltdowns.

But, before long, she was sobbing into Riku's shoulder.

Riku paused, rather shocked by this fact. After a moment he wrapped an arm around her, trying to comfort her. His eyes slowly formed a glare and he glanced up at the Marluxia Replica.

"Oh shnap," came the voice of Joseph. He patted the Marluxia Replica on the arm comfortingly. "Sorry dude, but you are _so_ dead."

"Don't blame him…" Namine managed to gasp. "It's not… his fault…"

"Shh," Riku whispered, glancing back down at her.

The other Marluxia Replica shrugged, looking at his brother. "Joseph does have a point," he said. "We've all learned that Riku doesn't let anyone hurt Namine."

"_I'll care for Naminé. Anyone who goes near her… goes through me!"_

_Riku readied his blade against Sora and flashed into dark mode._

"_W-what are you thinking!" Sora shouted, appalled. "We're supposed to be friends!"_

_Riku laughed slightly. "Well, Sora. You didn't think about my feelings, either. Naminé's not the only one who's sick of looking at you. So am I!" Riku snapped, and leapt._

_'Why don't I want to see Sora?' his thoughts screamed, though. 'Why am I so angry?'_

_That is a very good question Riku… why are- __Namine began, but the pain of the memory stifled that thought._

_Riku brought his blade down, doubt after doubt floating up inside his heart._

They were going to make Namine sick.

"_Riku, stop!" Sora shouted, barely able to block Riku's attack with his Keyblade._

"_Got a little stronger, have you?" Riku taunted._

_In his memories, Sora had always lost their matches._

_Memories? _Namine wondered. _Again… what are they talking-_

She gasped in pain. Emotions, half of which did not belong to her, were welling up inside her. There was the anger, the hate, the hurt, the fear, all colliding together.

That, and more memories were starting to flash over this one. This memory remained pretty clear, but…

"_You don't want to see my face again…?" Sora asked, confused and sounding hurt. "Why would you say that, Riku!"_

Namine winced at just how hurt he sounded.

But the memory wouldn't stop.

"_Huh… I didn't say it all this time, that's all. I've always hated you," Riku, then hesitated._

_'Always…?' he thought slowly.__'Have I really always hated Sora? I don't know. I can't remember…'_

_You don't hate him Riku…__ Namine thought. __You… you can't-_

_Oh my gosh this hurts!_

"_If you're serious, Riku… I'm not holding back on you…!" Sora said, swinging his Keyblade down._

_ Riku gasped and then began to panic._

_'I was barely able to block that...' he thought in shock. 'When did he get so strong?'_

"_Maybe, Riku… you're the one who got a little weaker?" Sora laughed with a smile._

_'The slight smile showing on Sora's face… It's the best smile turned at people you're close to.'__Riku thought and then shook his head, confusion welling up inside him.__ '__I don't understand how Sora can smile at me like that. I don't understand! I'm sad. I'm angry at myself. It hurts…'_

_"It hurts…" Namine mumbled, tears falling harder now. "Why does it hurt so much?"_

_She was crying out, but no one could hear her._

_The memories were clouding together._

_She could hardly think._

_Riku continued to hold her, still trying to calm her down. The Marluxia Replica didn't matter. Joseph didn't matter._

_None of it mattered._

_He just had to keep Namine safe._

"It's going to be alright," he whispered to her. "It will stop soon."

_It has to…_

_Oh gosh! I can't stand this!_

He turned his gaze to the floor, trying to hide the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes.

It was about this time when quite a few dark corridors opened and another party that Saix had sent appeared.

Riku groaned slightly.

"They have the absolute _worst_ timing," Riku laughed quietly. Only Namine would have been able to hear him. If she _could_ hear him. He didn't actually know if she could hear him during a meltdown or not.

Quickly, he formed a dark corridor around them.

They appeared in Namine's room, sitting on her bed.

Riku swallowed and gently laid her down.

"I'll be right back," he said with a small smile as he rose to his feet. "Promise."

He formed another dark corridor around himself and left.


	35. Unhappy and Frantic Thoughts

sigh...  
>Riku, I do hope you realize that you are being a pain right now. You are <em>not<em> allowed to be doing such things for another... *checks watch* three months. So please stop, RIGHT now. Thank you

ug... this chapter wouldn't have taken SO LONG if Riku wasn't trying to be three months ahead of where he's SUPPOSED to be. It's absolutely RIDICULOUS.

anyways, does Ven remember his time inside Sora and Riku? Probably. I'm sure that Sora's darkness would have woken him up, and being in Riku's heart HAD to be uncomfortable for him. Hmm... I might just write a scene concerning that. I'll go add THAT to my list and at least TRY to get around to it

oh! I almost forgot! (again...) I've hit a hundred pages! (well I hit a hundred pages, about when the FF and Sora were fighting Heartless, but I was covering so many other things then that I forgot)

* * *

><p>Riku returned to the main room, blade already drawn, already in dark mode.<p>

He was _not_ in a good mood.

And to top off his bad mood, he was starting to get a headache.

"Get out of the way!" he called to a nearby Marluxia Replica who was with the Rebellion (it might have been the one from earlier, but he didn't care). Said Marluxia Replica quickly did so, and Riku fired Dark Firaga. It hit the Larxene Replica the Marluxia Replica had previously been battling, probably killing her.

Riku quickly scanned the room, looking for any other possible threats. However, everyone other Replica that Saix had sent was being taken care of.

All except…

"You!" Riku shouted, turning to 37, who was trying to sneak off to get to the computer room again. Though, why he didn't just open a dark corridor…

Angrily, Riku shot Dark Firaga at 37's feet, causing him to pause before he went any further. He turned to glare at Riku. Riku returned the glare with twice the intensity. He threw open a dark corridor to get closer to 37.

"And what put you in such a bad mood?" 37 asked, as Riku emerged from the dark corridor.

Riku responded to this by aiming his blade at 37's throat.

"Get out of here," he said simply. "As you already know, I'm _not_ in a good mood. And I've got quite the headache starting, too. I'm not quite in the mood to kill anyone at the moment, though that might change any minute now."

37's eyes narrowed.

"You do realize that every Replica here chose to come, knowing that they might die," 37 replied coldly. "I don't see-"

"_Chose_?" Riku laughed. "Are you kidding? I know every Replica here was _forced_ to come because Saix couldn't care less if they died or not."

"That is not entirely true," 37 muttered. "There are a few here that-" his sentence was cut short when Riku drove his blade through his arm (about the same place that Alpha had gotten him a while ago).

"By 'a few' you mean _you_, don't you?" Riku sneered, pulling his blade slowly out of 37's arm.

37 gasped in pain, and almost immediately started cradling his injured arm.

"You do realize I'm in as good of a position as any to kill you _right now_," Riku continued. "And I doubt that Saix would miss you. So call this party off and get the heck out of my sight!"

"There is a high chance that if you send us back Saix will destroy us for failing," 37 gasped. "You wouldn't send us to our deaths, would you?"

"Well it's either you die here or you die there," Riku replied, blade quivering, as if he was ready to strike again. "So _leave_." He emphasized his point by shooting another Dark Firaga at 37. 37 dodged easily.

"I suppose this mission has failed anyways by this point…" 37 muttered unhappily, glancing around the room. He raised his hand, doing his best not to wince.

Everyone paused, and then quite a few dark corridors opened, and everyone sent by Saix left.

"We'll be back though," 37 warned, stepping through his own dark corridor. "You can be sure of that."

The room grew silent.

All eyes were suddenly on Riku.

He shifted uncomfortably.

"Nice going Riku!" Joseph cheered after a moment, probably just to break the silence.

"Yeah," Riku muttered, flickering out of dark mode. He turned to Alpha, who happened to be nearby. "Check the computer room. 37 might have headed in that direction."

Alpha nodded and headed in that direction.

Riku rubbed his still throbbing head and quietly banished his blade.

"I'm going to… go…" he whispered, forming a dark corridor around himself.

He appeared outside of Namine's room. He figured it would be rude to just open a dark corridor directly in there, so he didn't. He sighed, and grabbed the doorknob.

But then he paused.

After a moment of thinking, he pulled out his blade, which was still covered in 37's blood. He took one look at it and frowned. Finally, he sat down next to the door, leaning against the wall, and began cleaning the blood off of his sword.

XXX

About five minutes later, Riku was still getting the blood off of his blade. He had gotten most of it by now, and to top things off, his headache was almost completely gone. He was definitely in a better mood.

Well… better than before. Not necessarily good.

He examined his blade, which seemed to be completely clean by this point. He took a few extra seconds to make sure of this, and then banished it, satisfied. He then rose to his feet and opened the door to Namine's room.

He was rather surprised to find that she was awake and drawing frantically. He frowned, but after a second stepped in and closed the door behind him. Namine glanced up at him, and she smiled slightly.

But there were still traces of fear on her face.

Riku's frowned deepened.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded and then returned to her picture.

_No you're not…_ Riku thought with a sigh, sitting down in the chair.

"What's up?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"Huh?" Namine said, sounding a bit confused. "Oh, nothing." She laughed. "Nothing at all. Don't worry about it." Not once did her eyes leave the paper as she said this, and her hand continued sketching out… whatever it was.

This only made him worry more.

"Namine…" he whispered.

"I'm fine!" she insisted, eyes once again not leaving her picture. "Don't worry about it."

Riku sighed. They sat in silence for a moment as she continued to draw frantically and he tried to figure out what exactly he planned on doing.

After a moment he grabbed her hand, stopping her from drawing anymore. She glanced up at him, a frantic and almost scared look in her eyes. He swallowed, and then gently tugged the paper away from her and set it aside, not even bothering to glance at it. His eyes remained on her face the entire time.

"I am worrying about it," he said calmly with a small smile.

Namine continued to stare at him, looking absolutely shaken with fear.

"What's wrong?" he asked again, voice calm and kind.

"I-I-" Namine stuttered, seeming to be at a complete loss of where to start. "You don't really hate him, do you Riku?" she asked after a moment. "You can't really hate him…"

Riku frowned, slightly confused. "Hate who?"

"Sora…" Namine whispered. "You said that you hated him, that you always hated him." Her voice slowly grew more frantic as she kept explaining. "And then you got confused, because you thought you hated him, and yet you weren't sure, and then you and Sora were fighting, and everything hurt and-"

She might have continued talking, but Riku stopped her, gently cupping her cheek in his hand.

"Calm down," he whispered, brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes. "Where did the memory take place?"

"Here," Namine replied. "In Castle Oblivion."

Riku sighed and closed his eyes. Thankfully, though, it made explaining easier. But he knew which memory she was talking about.

He didn't quite like the memory she was talking about.

"It was nothing but a fragmented, messed up memory," he told her simply. "Something that happened forever and a half ago, in my past. You know how messed up my past was. I probably only said that I hated Sora because the Organization told me to believe so. And I probably _wasn't_ sure. Sora's a hard person to hate."

"So you don't hate him?" Namine asked quietly.

Riku nodded. "I don't hate him at all."

"Even after what he did?" she whispered.

"Even after all that," Riku assured her.

"Even after what happened just a while ago?" Her voice was extremely quiet as she said this. "He almost-"

"But he didn't," Riku interrupted before she could finish. "And even if he did, I couldn't really blame him, could I?"

"No… I suppose not…" Namine muttered.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked.

She gave a small nod. "Memories like that hurt though…"

Riku pulled her into a hug.

"They're just stupid memories," he told her. "None of them matter. None of them, got it?"

"Yeah," she replied.

"Good," he said, letting go of her and pulling away. He grabbed her hand though, a grin on his face. "C'mon," he laughed, hopping to his feet.

"Where are we going?" Namine asked, a smile slowly returning to her face.

"We're going to get you a new sketchbook," Riku replied, grin growing even wider as he opened a dark corridor.


	36. Tempting Darkness

apologies for the slightly senseless swearing. It was amusing the first time Sora's Shadow said it, but then he had to go and repeat the sentence.

sigh

whoot! chapterwise, this is longer than Falling to Pieces, and has been for... four chapters. Whoops.

* * *

><p>"No! You're doing it all wrong!" Yuffie shouted, causing Sora to stop. He frowned.<p>

"Like _this_," Yuffie told him, again throwing her shuriken to demonstrate.

Sora sighed.

"I don't know if Keyblades are meant for throwing…" he muttered.

"Sure they are!" Yuffie said. "I know a kid who used this technique all the time with his Keyblade."

"Keyblade?" Sora asked, confused.

_Who else out there has Keyblade?_

_Are there more Keyblade wielders than… just me?_

"Besides," Yuffie continued, completely ignoring what he said. "You can use this technique with any weapon!"

"She has a point, Sora," Leon called.

"Well, almost every weapon," Yuffie whispered. "If your weapon is weird, like Squall's, then it won't really work."

"That's Leon!"

Sora smiled. He had been here long enough to learn that Leon had once been called Squall. However, after the destruction of his home world he changed his name to Leon in hopes to separate himself from his past. Between him and Cloud, Sora felt quite at home with his regrets of his own past.

Even though he had yet to figure out what had happened to Cloud. But he wasn't going to ask. That would be rude. No one had pestered _him_ much about what had happened during his past.

"Try it again," Yuffie said, tapping her foot impatiently.

Sora sighed and tried yet again to toss his Keyblade like Yuffie had taught him. He did actually manage to throw it and cause it to spin mid-flight. However, it didn't boomerang back to him. Instead, it hit a wall on the other side of the area.

"I'll get it!" Aerith called.

"Wait," Leon said, turning to Sora. "You know how to summon your Keyblade back to you, right?"

"I can do that?" Sora asked, a bit surprised.

Leon sighed and rubbed his head. "Yes…" he replied slowly.

"So how do I do it?"

"It should be as easy as willing it to come back to you," Aerith said with a smile. Leon just continued to rub his head, obviously bothered by the fact that Sora somehow didn't know this.

"Sounds easy enough…" Sora muttered. He reached out towards his Keyblade and his eyes narrowed in concentration. Focusing hard, he wished his Keyblade back to him. There was a sudden rush of wind and a flash of light, and suddenly he was holding his Keyblade again.

"There," Leon said. "Yuffie, back to you."

"You got it!" Yuffie laughed, turning to Sora. "Go on then."

Sora sighed, and again tossed his Keyblade.

About five minutes later, Sora was still trying to toss is Keyblade and have it come boomeranging back to him. He was, however, getting good at summoning it back to him.

"Again! You'll get it this time!" Yuffie said.

Again, Sora threw his Keyblade.

_Please come back this time! This is getting old!_ he thought desperately.

A large _BANG_ broke his concentration. Everyone turned to where Cid and Cloud were working on modifying Cid's cannon. Cid and Cloud seemed to be okay. The cannon… well… maybe not so much.

"Can't you pay attention to what you're doing!" Cid shouted.

"Sorry…" Cloud muttered.

Something hit Sora in the back of the head. He turned.

His Keyblade had finally come back to him.

"Great!" Yuffie cheered. "Now you just need to work on catching it!"

Sora sighed.

XXX

"Hey! Look who's getting stronger!"

Sora's nostrils flared. He turned, and sure enough, there was his Shadow, leaning casually against the wall with a wicked smirk on his face. His blade wasn't summoned, but his chains were, and he was twirling them playfully.

"What do you want?" Sora hissed.

"Oh, don't mind me," his Shadow replied. "I don't plan on bothering you. I'm going to go ahead and let you get a bit more stronger. Then, at least, fighting you will be fun. Because, with your strength the way it is now, I could kick your ass into next Thursday without breaking a sweat."

Sora frowned and readied his blade.

His Shadow burst out laughing. "Oh, so you _want_ to have your ass kicked into next Thursday!" he said.

Sora's eyes slowly formed a glare, and his grip on his blade remained firm.

His Shadow rolled his eyes. "This will be too easy…" he muttered, raising his hand.

Sora let out a sudden gasp of pain, as the darkness sprung to life within him. It had been a while since it had acted up this much. Wave after wave of pain washed over him as the darkness roared to life.

The grin on his Shadow's face was absolutely sick as he watched with amusement.

"I bet someone's feeling some regret," he laughed, slowly clenching his hand into a fist.

With one swift motion the Shadow punched the air in front of him, and Sora went flying, as if he had actually taken the punch himself. His Keyblade clattered to the ground before disappearing, and he curled into a ball, as the pain became unbearable.

"Stop it!" he screamed. "STOP IT!"

His Shadow just laughed, clenching his fist tightly. Another cry of pain left Sora's lips, as the darkness began crushing him.

He could hardly breathe.

His thoughts were getting clouded and muddled by the darkness. The weight that was on his chest was unbearable. It felt as if something was squeezing his heart, crushing it. And the darkness was growing strong inside of him, feeding off the pain, feeding off of his anger. And his Shadow was eagerly feeding it to, making it ten times worse.

"I… I can't give…" he gasped. "I can't give into the darkness! I- I refuse! I- I won't-"

"So that's what your thoughts are…" the Shadow whispered. And despite their distance, Sora could hear him clear as day. "You'll refuse the darkness, no matter how much it hurts," the Shadow continued. "But I didn't think it always used to be like that…"

_Sora watched out of the corner of his eye, and slowly raised his hand and attempted to open a dark corridor himself. A bit of darkness formed at his fingertips for a second._

"_What are you doing?" Riku asked, breaking his concentration._

_Sora lowered his hand. "I thought you were leaving," he snapped coldly over his shoulder._

"_Give me a second…" Riku muttered, before leaving._

_Sora was hardly paying attention._

'_How does he DO that?' Sora thought, trying again to open a corridor. Again what could have been the start of one appeared at his fingertips, but it fizzled out of existence before getting anywhere. Sora grunted in frustration._

'_Maybe I'm not trying hard enough,' he thought, and then tried again, this time focusing harder on tapping into the darkness inside him. The darkness shot through him like fire, and the dark corridor got farther in opening. But then a wave of pain shot through him. Sora gasped, and the dark corridor disappeared._

"And you didn't stop trying… even though it hurt you," the Shadow scolded, pulling him out of the memory. "Wow. Just _wow_. How stupid are you?"

"Shut up!" Sora shouted. The pain only continued to grow within him, as the darkness started feeding off of that newly found anger. A scream of pain left him, and he closed his eyes, just trying to fight it off.

The darkness only continued to crush him.

And everything around him was slowly beginning to fade…

"Hey, are you okay?" came a sudden worried voice.

Sora struggled to open his eyes, and found a very concerned Cloud staring at him. Sora had never seen Cloud worried before, and was a bit surprised by this fact. However, the darkness was continuing to grow inside him, and another scream of pain left his lips.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked.

Sora paused a second, trying to fight the darkness down and catch his breath. "The darkness…" he managed to gasp. "It's- crushing-"

"Oh no you don't!" his Shadow called, clenching his fist even tighter. In response to this another wave of darkness washed over Sora.

"No!" Sora screamed. "I won't give in!"

Cloud frowned. "Just keep fighting it," he told Sora after a moment. "You don't have to give in." He started glancing around the area, as if looking for something.

"Oh sure… he thinks he's all smart and fancy," the Shadow muttered in a sing song voice, glaring at Cloud. "Cause, somehow, _he_ can get through to Sora, and give him enough strength to fight _back_." His voice was slowly rising with annoyance. "Just who is he, anyways? What's happened to him that makes him different? I can see the darkness inside him, just about as much as there is in Sora… but… it's tame. How the hell can someone have so much darkness inside them and not have problems with it!"

The Shadow's eyes narrowed in concentration as he continued to stare at Cloud. There was a mystery inside Cloud, one he was determined to unlock.

He _was_ pure darkness.

He could _see_ the darkest thoughts and memories of _anyone._

But Cloud was different.

Try as he might, the Shadow just couldn't figure him out. He managed to get a glimmer of memory, but nothing more than the sight of blood and the feeling of being useless.

And his attempts to read Cloud were quickly shattered when he realized something.

Cloud was staring right at him.

"He can't see me…" the Shadow assured himself. "But it sure looks like he knows I'm here… does he know?" His fist slowly unclenched and Sora's breathing returned to normal as the darkness became bearable inside him.

His eyes locked with Cloud's for a brief second.

Cloud _knew_.

Somehow, in some weird way, Cloud knew that the Shadow was there.

Slightly panicked, the Shadow disappeared from the area in a flash of darkness.


	37. The Burdened

*headdesk* really? I can handle it when it's just Riku, but now Namine's doing it too? sigh

anyways, I've had the link on my profile for a while now so you might have caught it already, but there is a link to a picture that I drew of Sora in dark mode

oh, and yes, Yuffie was talking about Ven

* * *

><p>Namine had had yet another meltdown. That would make three since Sora left. The one after the Marluxia Replicas, another one that happened for no discernable reason, and then this one. As usual, Riku was currently waiting for her to wake up. After a moment (and for no particular reason, as he realized when thinking back on it later) he grabbed her hand and squeezed it.<p>

He was a bit surprised when she squeezed his hand back.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked with a small laugh.

She laughed. "A bit," she replied. "Trying to find the strength to sit up, still." She sighed. "This last meltdown really took it out of me."

"I'm sorry…" Riku muttered.

Namine sat up so she could glare at him (though she was forced to prop herself up with an elbow). "It's not your fault!" she told him firmly. "Just because you happened to be the last person to say something before the meltdown doesn't mean you triggered it. Anything can trigger them, and there's no way of knowing. So shut up and stop worrying about it!"

Riku couldn't help but smile. Namine rolled her eyes.

"Here I am trying to be angry at you, and all you can do is smile?" she said.

"Do you want me to be mad?" Riku asked.

"Well, it would be nice if you could do something besides smile," Namine replied.

Riku slowly frowned. "Okay," he muttered. "Then I will sit here and pretend that I'm actually a bit scared of you, because you're shouting."

Namine burst out laughing. "If I had free hand I would smack you!" she said.

Riku grinned and squeezed her hand tighter.

"I'm glad to see you're okay," he whispered.

Namine shrugged. "If the meltdowns are going to be happening this frequently, I can't let them bother me, can I?" she replied.

"So you're okay?"

"I'm fine!"

"You sure?" Riku asked.

"Yes," Namine replied. "Are _you_ okay?"

Riku frowned. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You seemed a bit freaked, that's all," Namine laughed.

"I'm fine," Riku assured her. "You don't need to worry about me. I'm perfectly okay."

Namine just smiled.

Riku stared at her for a moment, trying his best not to smile. Finally, he cracked and a grin formed on his face. "Okay," he laughed. "Now I get why you were complaining about me smiling."

Namine laughed. After a moment, though, her arm gave way and she flopped back down onto her bed. "Ow…" she muttered.

"You okay?" Riku asked.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm just _fine_," she told him. "Apparently I just can't sit up yet." She sighed, and then tried again, this time managing to sit up properly. "There we go…" she muttered.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Riku pressed.

Namine sighed and shook her head in disbelief. "Riku, I've told you a million times already, I'm _fine._"

"I'm just worried," Riku muttered. "This _is_ the third meltdown you've had this week."

"I'm fine, honestly," Namine said.

The door opened. "Hey Riku, I'm going to Twilight Town!" someone called.

"Yeah sure, whatever," Riku replied with a wave of his hand, not turning away from Namine.

The door closed.

"Was that Joseph?" Namine asked after a moment.

"Probably," Riku shrugged.

Namine just laughed.

"What?" Riku asked, completely clueless.

Namine only continued to laugh.

"Stop laughing at me!" Riku said. But before long, he couldn't help but laugh, too.

XXX

Sora sat on one of the couches in Leon's Headquarters that evening, drinking the cup of hot chocolate he had been given. Aerith had been insisting on tea, but Cloud convinced her that hot chocolate would be better for Sora, though Sora never caught why. However, he wasn't complaining. The hot chocolate was comforting and the darkness was slowly recoiling back to its usual corners of his heart, to top things off.

He, Cloud, and Aerith were the only people in the room. Aerith had managed to convince everyone else to stay upstairs. How, Sora would never know, and he didn't really care. He was sort of enjoying the slight privacy.

"So what happened back there, exactly?" Cloud asked, sitting down on the couch across from Sora with his own cup of hot chocolate.

Sora shook his head. "You wouldn't understand," he replied. There wasn't any possible way he'd be able to explain his Shadow. He didn't even understand his Shadow. Besides, he was the only one who could see it, the only one who could hear it. They would think he was crazy.

He didn't expect what Cloud said next, though:

"That's the darkness talking," Cloud told him. "It's running from what could save you. That's what it always does."

Sora frowned, confused, wondering how and why Cloud knew that. But, he decided not question this at the moment. He sighed, and then finally spoke.

"For starters, I'm not crazy," he muttered, turning away. For some reason, it was hard for him to think when being confronted with Cloud's intense gaze. He continued, voice quiet: "I have this… Shadow following me… He's like, the embodiment of my darkness, or something."

"_Embodiment of your darkness? Boy does that sound lame!"_

Sora's eyes narrowed upon hearing the Shadow's voice.

"_I'm what you could be, if you actually gave into the darkness," the Shadow finished, with a laugh._

"Apparently… he's what I could be if I were to give into the darkness…" Sora whispered. He shuddered slightly as he said that, not wanting to think about that thought much. "But I… I don't know…" he shook his head. "But I do know that I'm the only one who can see my Shadow, and the only one who can hear him," he said after a moment.

He turned to Cloud, who was listening to him explain with interest. Cloud nodded, urging him to keep going.

Sora sighed. "Well, my Shadow started taunting me, as he always does," he explained. "And we started arguing… and then… he began tempting the darkness in me. And I- it- I couldn't… I couldn't breathe… the darkness was-"

"You don't have to explain," Cloud said quickly. "I know what that feels like."

"You do?" Sora asked, quite surprised.

Cloud nodded. "It's happened to me before."

"When?"

Cloud turned away.

"It's not a night I like to remember…" he muttered. He might have explained more, had not the sound of shattering glass interrupted them. They both turned to the kitchen, where Aerith stood, frowning over a completely broken mug.

"Well… shoot…" she sighed, quickly gathering up the broken pieces. "That was Cid's favorite mug, too…"

"What happened?" Sora called.

"Dropped it," Aerith replied with a small laugh. "Suppose I wasn't paying attention, that's all."

Sora frowned, noticing that her hands were trembling slightly. He pondered going over there to help her, but Cloud beat him to it.

"Careful," Cloud said, taking the shards of glass from her. "You might get hurt."

"It's alright, Cloud," Aerith assured him. She glanced past Cloud and at Sora. "Sora," she called. "Do you mind getting the broom? It's over there."

Sora went over to where she was pointing, and found a broom and a dustpan within a short amount of time. He quickly handed them to Aerith, who proceeded to sweep up the few shards of glass that were on the ground. Sora frowned. He could have easily done that…

Cloud went to get his and Sora's empty mugs, and Sora turned to Aerith.

"Forgive me for asking… but is there… anything between you and Cloud?" he said, and then frowned, actually surprised by that question himself. He hadn't meant to actually ask it. He had only been thinking about it, with the way Aerith was so nice to Cloud, and how Cloud had acted just now…

"What?" Aerith asked, a bit surprised. "Oh! You mean-" She laughed and shook her head. "No. We're not… there's nothing between us, we're just good friends." She sighed. "Besides, Cloud likes Tifa."

"Do not," Cloud muttered, finally returning with the mugs.

"Tell me that when she's around," Aerith laughed.

Cloud groaned. "I like Tifa, just not… not like that…"

"Mmhmm…" Aerith said, rolling her eyes. It sounded as if she didn't believe him one bit.

Sora laughed slightly at this.

"I'm going to bed," Cloud muttered, heading upstairs.

Aerith sighed as she watched him go. "He should stop trying to deny it!" she said in a sing-song voice, rather loudly. Sora figured that she had meant for Cloud to hear that. If he did, he didn't show it.

Aerith turned to Sora after a moment. "You should probably head to bed, too, Sora," she told him with a smile.

Sora shrugged. "Do you want any help with the dishes?" he asked, glancing at the full sink.

She paused for a second, thinking about it. Then she shook her head. "No thank you, I don't mind doing them alone."

"Okay then," Sora muttered, slowly heading to the stairs. "Night, then!"

"Goodnight!" Aerith called, starting on the dishes.

Sora smiled and made his way to his room.


	38. Fearful Happening

you might think there is a slight timing problem with this chapter, though I assure you, there isn't. The timing issue will be explained in the next chapter.

and... honestly... I have no idea if Joseph will mention where he ended up going. I don't think he will... but he might...

* * *

><p>"Would you quit your pacing!" one of the Larxenes shouted.<p>

Well, the only Larxene left in their group. The other one had been killed by Riku.

Vexen Replica number 4 frowned at her. He could not remember which one she was. He hadn't bothered to go around and learn everyone's specification. It hadn't seemed like he would need to. He didn't realize that they would all be sitting here in a corridor-proof room, waiting for Saix to order out their punishments.

Well, order out what was probably going to be their only punishment:

Death.

"I'm thinking," number 4 responded. "And I need to pace so I can think!"

"It's really annoying," she mumbled.

4 shot her a glare and continued pacing.

_Now I'm wishing I had sided with the Rebellion…_ he thought with a sigh.

_Or at least gone rouge._

_Master Vexen had never intended THIS to happen. Though, then again, how can anyone plan for such an event as this? He didn't expect to be ruthlessly killed by that bothersome Riku._

_And, even if he had expected his death, I'm sure he would never assume the Program would be handed to Saix._

_Even I never expected THAT._

_I would have guessed it would have gone to Zexion, or maybe Marluxia._

_ Of course, everyone who happened to be in Castle Oblivion…_

_ This is why I didn't side with the Rebellion. Why would anyone want to work with Riku? He's the reason we're all in this mess. He killed every likely person that could take charge of the Program._

_ I mean, I don't suppose I mind that he took care of Larxene… she and all her Replicas are annoying…_

He shot another glare over at the Larxene Replica after thinking this, before glancing around the room.

There were only a few chairs, and the Larxene Replica was occupying two. She sat in one, and had her feet on another. She looked comfortable, actually. And bored. The Marluxia Replica that was also in their group was asleep in another chair, though how he managed to stay upright was a mystery. The Lexaeus Replica that had come with them was actually sitting on the floor, trying to figure out a puzzle that all the Lexaeus Replicas (and Lexaeus himself) seemed to carry around.

The other two people that had been in this party were a Larxene Replica, and another Vexen Replica. Vexen Replica number 13, to be exact. Both of them had been killed before 37 bothered to call the mission off.

4 sighed. He had liked number 13. He had actually helped create 13.

_I almost wish I had died in Castle Oblivion,_ 4 couldn't help but think. _I think that at least the Replicas with the Rebellion would at least kill us nicely. If anything, we would at least die fighting. Saix will probably just walk right in here any minute and drive his claymore through one of us, as cruelly as he possibly can…_

_ I really should have gone rogue._

4's thoughts were interrupted when the Lexaeus Replica suddenly spoke up.

"I wonder if Namine is in Castle Oblivion," he said, voice quiet.

4 stopped his pacing, considering that idea. "I suppose it would make sense…" he muttered. "That would explain why Riku was in a particularly foul mood, and didn't feel like dealing with any of us. If Namine is indeed in Castle Oblivion, then obviously he would want to be by her side… and not having to deal with us."

"You're right!" the Larxene Replica exclaimed. "Hey, here's a thought, why not one of you loser brains convince Saix that we all figured that out together! He might let us off the hook."

"As much as I hate to agree with you…" 4 said slowly. "I think that might just work."

"We're going to have to stop thinking and start trying," the Lexaeus Replica muttered. "Here he comes."

Sure enough, right as the Lexaeus Replica said this, Saix came barging through the door, 37 at his heels.

4 scowled. He never had liked 37.

Saix stopped walking and glanced around the room. 4 glared at him, waiting for him to order their inevitable fate. The Lexaeus Replica glanced up at him, looking bored. The Larxene Replica didn't even bother to look up, and the Marluxia Replica was still asleep.

"You should be pleased," Saix said, his voice completely void of emotion. "That is, if a Replica has the capacity to be pleased…"

4's nostrils flared.

_What does he think we are? Does he think we're worth less than Nobodies are? Does he think he outranks us? Maybe he does in terms of command, but in terms of Heart, we have him beat._

_ Replicas do in fact have the capacity to feel emotion!_

_ See, even as I think about this, I am getting angry._

_ This is outrageous!_

However, 4 bit his tongue.

He would not say anything, no matter how annoyed and angry he was.

Yelling at Saix would only make matters worse…

"I am not going to kill any of you," Saix continued.

4's angry thoughts came to a halt. He frowned, unsure if he had actually heard Saix right. It was highly out of character to not just outright destroy them.

They had, technically, failed the mission.

_Are we just that incredibly lucky?_ 4 thought, something like a smile coming to his face. _He really isn't going to kill us._

_ I can't believe my luck!_

_ See, here I am, feeling excited. Replicas do in fact have the capacity to feel emotion!_

He opened his mouth to point this out, but caught himself.

_He may not kill me for failing the mission, but if I start with this he'll destroy me for being annoying._

_ Though that makes me wonder how all the Larxene Replicas have managed to stay alive…_

_ It seems the only ones that have died have been killed by Riku._

4's thoughts were pulled to a sudden halt as he realized something. Everyone was staring at him. Well, all but the Marluxia Replica, who remained asleep. But Saix had his gaze fixed on him, as did 37. The Lexaeus Replica had also turned to him. The Larxene Replica had even looked up, probably wondering what the heck everyone was staring at.

4 was wondering this, too. He opened his mouth to ask, when Saix snapped his fingers.

Everything went black.

XXX

The Lexaeus Replica watched in shock as Vexen Replica number 4 suddenly collapsed. He turned back to Saix, unsure of what to make of him. He did find that he was absolutely horrified to find that Saix was smirking.

Smirking, as if he was enjoying this.

Smirking, as if he had the capacity to feel emotions _to_ enjoy this.

"What did you do!" the Larxene Replica demanded. The Lexaeus Replica figured this wasn't out of worry for poor number 4, but out of worry for her own well-being.

"Deactivated him," Saix replied simply.

"Just like-" the Larxene Replica began, and then winced. "Yikes…" she muttered.

Saix started to say something else, but the Larxene Replica interrupted him.

"Namine's in Castle Oblivion!" she blurted.

Saix frowned at her. "And how do you know this?" he asked.

"I could see it on Riku's face," the Larxene Replica continued with an evil grin. "There was something about the way he was acting back there. It seemed as if he just wanted to get rid of us so he could go back to spending time with his _precious_ Namine."

_Why that-_ the Lexaeus Replica thought with a scowl. _How dare she! She took what Number 4 and I said and simply spat it back out at Saix._

_ Taking the credit for the discovery._

_ When, technically, I was the one who had figured it out…_

"That does make sense, sir," 37 pointed out. "I have seen firsthand what Riku's reactions are to anyone who interrupts his time with Namine. The first time I met him, I believe I was interrupting a conversation he and Namine were having. He did not look at all happy to see me, and insisted I leave right away. Similar to what happened on this last mission, actually…"

"May I be the one who gets to go kidnap her?" Larxene asked, sounding way too happy.

"That would not be wise," Saix replied. "Riku would kill you on sight. I will send someone else."

The Larxene Replica sighed in disappointment.

"As for the rest of you," Saix said, glancing over the still sleeping Marluxia Replica, and then to the Lexaeus Replica. "You are lucky that we do not have the numbers we used to. I cannot afford to get rid of you."

With this, he turned on his heel and walked out.

"Whoo!" the Larxene Replica sighed. "I thought we were all goners! It's a good thing I spoke up, or more of us than just that annoying Vexen might have been Deactivated."

The Lexaeus Replica grunted. He turned to number 4, who no one had bothered to move. He frowned.

"Well, I'm not staying here any longer," the Larxene Replica laughed, hopping to her feet. "See you later!"

The Lexaeus Replica watched her go with a glare, and then turned to the Marluxia Replica, who had managed to sleep through all of this. He grunted yet again, looking back at number 4.

After a second he went over to number 4 and picked him up. He was surprisingly light. The Lexaeus Replica then made his way over to the door and pushed it open with his shoulder. He took a quick glance around outside, and once sure that no one was watching, formed a dark corridor around himself and left.


	39. Apologies

do I have anything to say about this chapter? well, not really.

I do, however, have a random update (again) i got bored (bad idea) and drew up an awakening station for Sora and his Shadow, somewhat reminiscent of the platform in BBS with Ven and Van. Yeah... go boredom, WHOO! the link's on my profile

* * *

><p>The sudden sound of a dark corridor opening surprised everyone. Everyone with the Rebellion was in Castle Oblivion, from what they knew. Riku glanced up from his conversation with Namine, finding a Lexaeus Replica. He frowned, however, upon realizing that the Lexaeus Replica was carrying a seemingly unconscious Vexen Replica.<p>

"You!" Joseph shouted suddenly, pulling out his wooden sword and pointing it at the Lexaeus Replica. "You were fighting us earlier!"

"Joseph, calm yourself," 29 called warningly.

"I do not wish to fight you," the Lexaeus Replica stated plainly. "I actually came here to apologize. That, and find a place for-"

"Number 4!" someone cried suddenly. Riku was surprised to see 2 rush over. It would make sense, he assumed, that the lower numbered Vexen Replicas would look out for each other.

"What happened to him?" 2 demanded.

The Lexaeus Replica grimaced. Or, sort of grimaced. Lexaeus had a weird way of making facial expressions. "Saix decided to show off his new ability. 4 was the victim."

Riku frowned, slowly rising to his feet. Quite a few thoughts were flying through his head, and his hate for Saix was growing. "Saix Deactivated him, didn't he?" he asked.

The Lexaeus Replica gave something between a grunt and a nod. "With only a snap of his fingers."

Everyone winced.

There was a bit of silence for a moment. Everyone seemed to be trying to process this. There had been rumors that Saix had been making the Deactivating Process that easy, but they hadn't been confirmed until just now.

Riku wasn't quite sure what to make of this either. The thought of being Deactivated never was a pleasant one. The fact that Saix could now Deactivate anyone with only a snap of his fingers definitely wasn't pleasant either.

_But it doesn't matter. I can't be Deactivated,_ he reminded himself._ I'm not in this Program. And Namine's not catalogued, so I don't have to worry about that either._

_ It's all okay._

_ This doesn't affect me._

_ This doesn't affect Namine._

With those thoughts he was able to push the thought of how unpleasant being Deactivated must be aside. It didn't matter. Neither he nor Namine were in danger, so it didn't matter. Well, it mattered a bit, but not much.

"I'll take care of 4," 2 said. He took number 4 from the Lexaeus Replica and dragged him off.

Namine watched them go, and couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for 4, though she did not know him. For starters, she was sure that if he was awake, he would be very uncomfortable at least. The way 2 was dragging him off did not look conventional in the slightest. However, since he was Deactivated, he probably couldn't feel anything.

_I bet that would be a terrible experience,_ she thought. _To be Deactivated. You wouldn't be able to feel anything, to hear anything…_

_ Your conscious just trapped in nothingness, unable to move your body._

_ Unless… you couldn't even THINK._

_ That's a scary thought._

_ Being unable to think…_

She shook her head to clear it.

_I shouldn't be worrying about this. Riku said this doesn't affect me. As long as I'm not catalogued… that is…_

_ But… the likeliness of me being catalogued is slim, right?_

_ I'll ask Riku about it…_

"Riku, you have my apologies," the Lexaeus Replica said. Namine looked up, glancing over to Riku.

Riku raised his eyebrows. "What for?" he asked.

"I let it slip that I assumed Namine was here," the Lexaeus Replica replied. "A Larxene Replica heard and told Saix. And since, obviously, Namine _is_ here, I feel the need to apologize."

Riku frowned, not looking pleased one bit.

"If there is some way I can make up for it," the Lexaeus Replica suggested. "Maybe I could… look after her. Make sure that she isn't kidnapped."

Riku shook his head slightly, the glare in his eyes very clear. "That won't be necessary," he said, voice even, but still threatening. "I can handle that."

"I see…" the Lexaeus Replica muttered.

"He could always help us infiltrate the World that Never Was!" Joseph chimed in. Everyone turned to him.

"Joseph," 29 said sternly. "What have I told you about that?"

Joseph shrugged. "I thought it was a good idea. I mean, maybe we'll get lucky and Saix forgot to lock his computer and we could change the passwords on him. Or, at least, try and figure the passwords out, which I think would be easier to do from his side."

"That might work," the Lexaeus Replica agreed. "And I would be glad to help you."

"What made you turn against Saix?" Riku asked. "I want to be sure we can trust you, and that isn't just a trap."

The Lexaeus Replica frowned, as if pondering if he should be offended by that or not. However, he was a hard person to read, so he could have been thinking about something else. "I see your reasoning," he said finally. "But when forced to sit in a room for a week while waiting for Saix to order your punishment, you have time to work up a strong dislike towards him."

There was a hint of bitterness in his voice as he said this.

"Alright then," Riku replied. "I can believe that. However, if this _is_ a trap, I will _not_ hesitate to kill you."

The Lexaeus Replica nodded.

There was a moment of bitter silence in the room.

"So when do we get started with this plan?" Joseph asked, all too excitedly.

"You are not part of this, Joseph!" 29 shouted.

Joseph rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded like it had to do with Axel telling him certain things and that he _had_ to go. However, 29 did not notice.

"We could start now," the Lexaeus Replica said.

Riku glanced over at Namine.

She laughed slightly and nodded at him.

Riku turned back to the Lexaeus Replica. "Yeah. Let's start on that now."

"Can I help?" Joseph asked. 29 started shouting at him again.

Riku rolled his eyes.


	40. A Word Away from Despair

i don't like how short this chapter is... however... for the flow of things, this chapter and the next one had to be separate.

* * *

><p><em>I read Kairi's letter again…<em>

_She said she was lonely._

_I guess I would be too, if I was on the Islands, and there was no one else there._

_The Islands are pretty boring when you don't have someone to pass the time with…_

Sora lazily pushed his food around his plate, to busy thinking to eat. Plus, it was eggs and bacon for breakfast, and he wasn't that fond of eggs. He was trying to eat them, so he wouldn't be rude, but…

_She also said she wanted to talk to me…_

_I suppose I could go back home._

_Wait, no, I can't. My darkness isn't under control. Besides, my Shadow… well… I don't particularly want him anywhere near home. It doesn't matter if I'm the only one who can see him…_

_He still TECHNICALLY exists._

_He might hurt Kairi…_

Sora shook his head, not at all liking that thought. He stabbed some of his eggs with his fork. After a second of glancing at the eggs he stuck them in his mouth and did his best not to grimace at the taste.

_Maybe I'll write her a letter._

_She wants to hear from me, right?_

_But… she's sent me so many other letters… I haven't seen a single one of them. So it would be a bit pointless… I'm pretty sure she can't quite control where her letters end up going…_

_I only managed to get this one because Aerith found it._

_I wonder how many letters she's written…_

_Mine says it's the twentieth… but it was sent shortly after Namine leaving…_

_That was like… a week ago. I bet she's sent plenty more._

_But where have they all gone?_

He frowned at his eggs, and then grabbed a piece of bacon.

Thankfully, the bacon tasted just fine.

_I feel bad though… with her being lonely._

_It is sort of my fault…_

_But how am I supposed to fix it?_

_I know I can't go home and see her._

_If she even WANTS to see me…_

_I know her letter said that she does, but-_

_It just doesn't make sense._

"Sora, is something wrong?" Aerith asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. "You've hardly eaten."

"Oh," Sora muttered. "Well-"

"He's just tired from yesterday's Heartless killing!" Cid laughed. It wasn't clear if he was joking or not, but Aerith took it as a valid answer.

"Yeah, tired…" Sora said.

_Even though that's not really it…_

_I'm just… thinking…_

"Well, eat up!" Aerith said with a grin. "There might be more Heartless today!"

Sora nodded, and quickly finished his food. His eggs had gotten cold, so forcing himself to eat them was even harder than it had been before. However, he drowned out the taste of the eggs with plenty of bacon.

Aerith got up after a minute, going around the table and gathering the dirty dishes. Everyone handed her their plates and thanked her. Well, all except Cid, who was currently examining the mug he was holding.

"Hey, Aerith," he said after a moment. "What happened to my other mug?"

"I dropped it," Aerith replied simply, taking his empty plate.

"Well what did you go and do that for?" Cid asked.

Aerith shrugged. "Sorry," she muttered, moving around the table to grab Cloud's plate.

"We were… talking about Zack…" Cloud explained quietly.

"Oh," Cid said, eyes widening with understanding. "Right. I love this mug!" he called after Aerith as she headed to the kitchen.

Sora couldn't help but notice that her hands were trembling as she walked past him. He frowned, confused. "Who's-" he began, but Leon silenced by shaking his head.

"Not now," he said simply.

"Yeah," Yuffie added as soon as Aerith was probably out of earshot. "We _just_ found a set of plates that matched after she dropped the last set. We don't want her to drop this one."

"Be nice," Leon warned.

"She's only complaining because she had to pay for most of it," Cid called across the table.

"I offered!" Yuffie retorted.

Leon sighed.

_Great… another mystery…_ Sora thought. _Now I'm going to have to stay here even longer. _A smile played on his lips at the thought of that. _But… this one's even more curious… Aerith's always so calm._

_So who's Zack, and why does Aerith always get so… weird… when he's mentioned?_

Sora glanced over at Cloud, who was staring intently at the table, as if trying to pull some sort of answer out of it.

_Cloud said we were talking about Zack the other night._

_But I've just heard his name today…_

_Maybe that's where the conversation WOULD have gone, if it had continued._

"Sora, come on," Leon said, rising to his feet. "We should continue with your magic training."

"Yeah," Sora muttered, getting up himself.

"Hey!" Aerith shouted suddenly, causing everyone to turn. "Out," she commanded firmly, glaring at one of the cabinets (or rather, what was in it). There was no heard response, but the frown on her face deepened after a moment. "Don't give me that!" she said. "You can climb on down yourself! You obviously got yourself up there!"

Everyone stared at her with varying levels of shock. Yuffie was gaping, Leon was rubbing his head, Cid had paused with his mug halfway to his mouth and looked as if he was questioning Aerith's sanity. Cloud wasn't gaping at all, but was giving Aerith a confused and concerned expression. Sora wasn't sure what face he was making, though it was definitely confused.

After a moment Aerith sighed and reached into the cabinet and pulled out a small Heartless of the Shadow variety. She set it carefully on the ground, where it wriggled it's antenna for a moment before glancing back up at her.

Cloud was on his feet within seconds, hand flying to the hilt of his sword. Sora watched him do this, and was quickly reminded of Riku. It was certainly something that Riku would do if it had been Namine standing there and not Aerith.

"Oh don't kill it!" Aerith exclaimed. "These ones are so cute!"

"You are _not_ keeping one as a pet," Leon said simply.

"I wasn't going to ask!" Aerith replied. "I just don't want Cloud to kill the poor thing!"

Cloud raised his eyebrows at that, though slowly moved his hand away from his sword.

"Are we just going to leave it here?" Sora found himself asking.

"I'll take it outside," Aerith said, picking the Heartless up again and heading out with it.

Everyone slowly returned to what they had been doing previously.

"Really!" Aerith exclaimed suddenly. "One of you I don't mind, but I don't need ten of you hanging around at my front door. I swear, you're as bad as cats!"

The varying levels of shock returned to everyone's faces.

"Guys, we've got a Heartless problem!" Aerith called after a moment. "More of them keep showing up!"

Leon quickly helped Cid get his cannon out onto the street, and Cloud had already taken out quite a few random Heartless. Yuffie was frantically looking for her shuriken, which she had apparently misplaced. Sora just sighed and summoned his Keyblade, heading outside to kill some Heartless.


	41. Burden of a Memory

I was going to explain what happened to Zack, but then Sora went ahead and did _that  
><em>sigh

and, uh, Yay for me explaining what my poor planning didn't bother to expand upon during Falling to Pieces in the form of flashbacks!

also, I have determined that the Marluxia Replicas are all named after flowers. YAY!

* * *

><p>"So… who's Zack?" Sora asked Leon.<p>

Leon sighed, killing off a few Heartless.

"Aerith's boyfriend," he replied simply. "Except… well… he's gone now."

"What happened?"

"You'll have to ask Aerith or Cloud about that," Leon said. "Now's not the time though. We need to focus on the Heartless."

Sora nodded, even though the Heartless that were around at the moment were pretty easy to deal with, and multitasking shouldn't be a problem. However, the subject of Zack apparently wasn't one anyone wanted to talk about.

This, of course, only made him wonder what had happened more.

_Gone how… exactly?_ He found himself wondering.

_Like… dead gone?_

_ Broke up with Aerith and left gone?_

_ Leon just said… gone._

Sora sighed and returned to focusing on killing Heartless. More annoying ones were beginning to sprout up.

XXX

Eventually everyone was forced to the main section of town, where all the Heartless were. Cid was complaining, because they didn't have enough time to move his cannon. However, the Heartless problem at the center of town had become urgent and had to be dealt with immediately.

Sora glanced around, taking in his surroundings as quick as he could. The Heartless they were up against were Invisibles, Angel Stars, and Darkballs, each of which were annoying for their own reasons. Invisibles had a nasty attack where they surrounded you in a ring of fire, which could only be escaped by jumping at the right time. Angel Stars liked to guard the only spot they were vulnerable every time you got close to them, and cast nasty magic. The Darkballs actually weren't too terrible, unless many surrounded you.

Everyone was on their own, though Aerith was curing everyone, like she always did. Cid was currently taking out a Darkball with his spear. Yuffie was doing her best to stop an Angel Star from casting magic. Leon was being bothered by an Invisible. Cloud was taking care of another Invisible.

Sora noticed that there was an unguarded Angel Star by him, and quickly attacked it before it could compose itself. Once that was taken care of he turned, killing a Darkball behind him with a quick combo. He paused, noting that he had been caught in one of those rings of fire. He frowned and then counted to three and jumped. However, he jumped too late, and the fire caught him by the ankles, tripping him.

He frowned and then rolled over, casting a few rounds of Blizzard at the nearest Invisible. They all hit their mark, stunning it momentarily. Sora quickly jumped to his feet and rushed forward, finishing it off with a couple of quick strokes of his blade.

"Watch out!" he heard Cid shout, and he turned. Cid quickly rushed over and stopped an invisible from attacking Aerith.

"Thanks Cid," she laughed.

"No problem," he grunted, still trying to keep the Invisible away.

Sora turned, taking care of a few Darkballs. There was a sudden cry of pain, and he turned in shock. Cid was on the ground, blood pouring from a fresh wound. Aerith was frantically trying to heal him. Sora quickly rushed over.

"Leave me alone!" Cid told Aerith, batting her away. "Worry about the Heartless, I'll live!"

"But-" Aerith began.

"Go!"

Aerith sighed and turned, getting rid of some Angel Stars with her magic. Sora took out the Invisible that had taken out Cid. He turned back to Cid and grimaced. There was a nasty gash on Cid's leg, his pants were torn, and there was plenty of blood. He turned away and quickly went back to killing Heartless.

And the Heartless went down easily after that. Before long Leon and Cloud were helping Cid limp back to the Headquarters. Aerith hurried after them. Sora banished his blade and turned to Yuffie. She said nothing and ran off. Sora sighed and followed after everyone.

XXX

Sometime after returning to Headquarters Cid was upstairs, Aerith was still trying to heal him, and everyone else was downstairs. Yuffie was complaining, but was being ignored. Leon was in the kitchen, trying to find something to eat. Sora was sitting on one of the couches, reading through Kairi's letter again (and feeling sort of like Riku because of this). Cloud was leaning against a wall, deep in thought.

_Kairi doesn't hate me? _Sora thought, yet again.

_That seems to be what I'm picking up from this letter… but…_

_ I still don't understand._

_ Not after-_

He gasped suddenly, as dark images from that time flickered through his mind. He clutched his head and gritted his teeth. The darkness started to rear up inside him, and his form began to flicker.

"Really?" he whispered. "Just really right now?"

"Sora?" Leon called, noticing what was going on.

_Oh, no need to worry about me, I'm just peachy!_ Sora thought, almost bitterly. He shook his head.

_What am I thinking? I'm not like-_

He gasped, as another wave of darkness washed over him.

_It hasn't been this bad for ages now!_ he thought frantically.

_ What's the deal!_

"Shouldn't we do something!" Yuffie asked. Her voice sounded frantic, almost scared.

Cloud shook his head. "There's nothing we can do to help," he said. "He can fight this alone."

_Yeah, thanks,_ Sora's bitter thoughts added.

_Stop thinking like that!_ he scolded himself immediately. _That's not all what-_

The images flickering through his mind suddenly came to a halt, stopping on one particular one. Quite a few different emotions welled up inside him, as if he was reliving the moment that accompanied that image.

_"So Kairi, what do you want to do today?" he asked, turning to grin at her._

_ Kairi shuffled her feet nervously. "I guess I don't mind, as long as I can stay with you."_

_ Sora laughed. "Sure, you can definitely-"_

_ Something changed within him. The darkness shrunk away, the light of this moment becoming too much for it to bear. Sora's smile slowly fell, his carefree attitude slipped away. Bitterness and anger began to well up inside of him._

_ He had better things to be doing._

_ "Kairi, I'm busy," he said, turning away from her. "You're going to have to find something else to do."_

_ "But, Sora," she began._

_ "Just leave me alone, okay?" he snapped. "I've got to take care of something."_

Sora felt like he was going to be sick.

_How can she forgive me, after THAT?_ he wondered, a tear or two rolling down his cheek.

The darkness and the memories slowly began to fade away.

_Man, if this is what a memory meltdown feels like, I feel sorry for Namine,_ he couldn't help but think.

_I feel terrible._

He slowly glanced up and was confronted with four worried faces. Aerith had joined them. She stood halfway down the stairs, looking as confused but concerned as everyone else. Yuffie actually looked a bit scared, Leon just looked worried. Cloud… he stared at Sora with worry and understanding.

And for some strange reason, Sora panicked.

He might have been scared, or maybe it was the darkness inside of him that was scared.

But he reached into his pocket, grabbing his star shard.

He activated it.

The room before him disappeared. However, he hadn't been thinking of what World he wanted to go to, and he only ended up somewhere else in Hollow Bastion.

But he didn't care.

He went over to a nearby wall and slowly sat down next to it. After a second he hugged his knees to his chest and started sobbing.


	42. Thoughts of You

so... I just realized... I have NO idea where Maleficent is. I don't think I killed her (though, I suppose, Riku COULD have ended up killing her on accident, as he tends to do) and I HAD plans for her later, though those were shattered as I revised a bit of my ending, and... well... I have no idea where she is now  
>any thoughts? I will gladly take whatever ideas you guys have for her (as long as they don't conflict something else that's been planned)<p>

that's bout it, I guess.

* * *

><p>"You'll want to go through that door," Joseph said, pointing.<p>

He, Riku, the Lexaeus Replica, 19, Alpha, and Marluxia Replica Amaryllis were gathered around a map of the World that Never Was that Alpha had found somewhere. Riku never bothered to ask where. He didn't particularly care.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be here…" Amaryllis muttered, glancing at Joseph.

"29 said I could help with planning!" Joseph replied. "Even if I'm not allowed to go…" He sounded very distraught about this, but then a devilish grin grew on his face. "Well, not yet, anyways," he added.

_No offense Joseph, but I really don't want you coming no matter what…_ Riku thought with a sigh. _You'd probably be in the way. Even though you seem to know so much about this…_

_ Why did Axel have to tell HIM everything?_

"Why that door?" Riku asked.

"Well, because _that_ one," Joseph pointed at a different door. "Is booby trapped. Though I suppose you could use _this_ one," he pointed at another door. "It's a bit more direct, but you have to sing a song to get through it. No one will be expecting you if you _do_ go that way, though."

Riku groaned slightly. This was more complicated than he had expected it to be. And if it was more complicated, that meant it was going to take longer.

_Which means I'll be away from Namine longer…_ he thought. And then shook his head, slightly surprised by that thought.

_What am I thinking? It's not THAT bad. It's not like I'm going to die if I'm away from her for over an hour. I'm not some lovesick puppy._

_ Though I bet Joseph would like to argue about that…_

He pulled himself out of his thoughts and quickly returned to the conversation. The Lexaeus Replica was going over battle strategies at the moment. They hoped to avoid fighting if at all possible, but they still needed to have a plan if such fighting was necessary.

"We'll be able to take a few of Saix's ranks," the Lexaeus Replica said. "Though if possible, we must avoid fighting. We do not need the Organization to know we are there."

"Why not?" Riku asked, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Well, it would be one thing if Saix had his own headquarters and we were infiltrating that," Alpha explained. "But this is the Organization's Headquarters we're infiltrating. We aren't trying to pick a fight with the Organization, we're just trying to pick a fight with Saix."

Riku nodded, slowly understanding it.

The Organization was powerful. Handling _just_ Saix was one thing. But dealing with the entire Organization? That would be hard. The Organization was ruthless. Well, so was Saix, but the odds of actually running into him were slim.

"Anyways…" Amaryllis muttered. "Continue with the plan."

"All that's left until we reach Saix's computer room is a few doors and this staircase," the Lexaeus Replica said, pointing.

Joseph shook his head. "You want to take that staircase!" he said, pointing at a different one. "The other one is used by everyone over there. The Organization and the Replicas both. I mean, a few of you might to be able to walk by unnoticed, as long as someone who isn't particularly good with faces runs into you. But there's no way Riku could get through there unnoticed."

"That reminds me, don't they have security cameras over there?" 19 asked. "Won't we be noticed anyways?"

Amaryllis rolled his eyes and pulled up his hood, effectively hiding his face.

"Oh, right…" 19 muttered.

"Not really," Riku said. "_I_ don't have an Organization cloak."

"We will just have to fix that problem, then!" Joseph laughed.

"_You_ don't have an Organization cloak," Riku replied, glancing over at him.

"Well, I don't need one," Joseph said simply. "Everyone knows me! Besides, I'm not coming with you, so it doesn't matter."

Riku frowned.

"We'll get you a cloak later," Alpha said. "I'm sure there are a few spares lying around."

"In the meantime, can we go over the plan again?" 19 asked. "I think I missed a few portions of it…"

The Lexaeus Replica just shrugged and proceeded to go over the plan again.

Riku groaned.

XXX

_I wonder how much longer Riku's going to be…_ Namine found herself thinking, and then paused, a tad confused. Not so much as towards the thought itself, but more towards the feelings that had accompanied it. For a second, she was almost… annoyed by the fact Riku was taking so long.

She shook her head.

"Weird…" she whispered.

_I have no idea what that just was…_ she sighed. _I've never really been annoyed at him before, except for stupid reasons, and then… it's not really annoyed. Besides, even if I really WAS annoyed now, I don't have reason to be._

She set down the pencil she was using and picked up a different one.

_I really should ask him about this Rebellion thing. I still don't quite understand why he's leading it… though… I don't think he does either._

_ There's still a lot of questions I need to ask him…_

_ We just never seem to have the time to talk._

She paused: that wasn't at all the right statement. They had _plenty _of time to talk.

_I just… never think about asking him these questions when we DO talk,_ she concluded finally. _We're always talking and laughing about other things that the questions never cross my mind. Not until it's too late, and we're interrupted by something._

_ Whether it's Saix, a meltdown, Joseph, or one of the Vexen Replicas…_

_ But… I guess I don't mind._

She sighed, and then gasped in surprised as she glanced over her picture again. She hadn't quite been paying attention to what she was drawing, though that wasn't entirely a new thing. She drew and got lost in her thoughts frequently, and the pictures that came out as a result often surprised her.

But this one?

This was more than surprising.

She slowly set down her pencil.

It was a picture of Riku, as they typically were, but this one was different. In every picture she had drawn of him, he was typically smiling, or at least had that cocky sneer he got during battle. In this picture, however, Riku sat in a corner, in dark mode, knees hugged tightly to his chest, casting a very hurt looking glare over his shoulder.

Namine shuddered.

She _never_ drew Riku upset. Never. And just _how_ upset he looked in this picture killed her.

Especially considering the fact that pictures like this (that she didn't really pay attention to as she drew) tended to be weird and prophetic and actually ended up coming true.

She didn't want this one to come true.

The thought of this one coming true scared her to death.

There was a knock on her door, startling her.

"Hey," Riku called. "Can I come in?"

The lightness in his voice surprised her, as she almost expected him to sound as upset as he looked in this picture. She shook her head to clear that ridiculous thought.

"Yeah," she said.

The door opened and Riku walked in. She started to tell him about the picture, and then paused. In contrast to the picture, he looked happy. Annoyed, maybe, but still smiling.

She didn't want to ruin his mood.

"What's up?" she asked instead, flipping to a blank page. He took hardly any notice to that and shrugged.

"We're heading off soon, and I figured I'd say goodbye before I left," he replied.

She laughed, and then slowly frowned, realizing something else.

"You're… wearing an Organization Cloak…" she said slowly.

Riku rolled his eyes and glanced down at the cloak, discomfort clearly present on his face. "It's to help us sneak into the Organization's headquarters unnoticed," he explained. "I don't really like the idea though… these cloaks are uncomfortable."

Namine laughed slightly. "Sorry," she said.

Riku shook his head. "Not your fault," he replied, and then sighed. "I should probably get going. Someone's going to complain if I delay the mission much longer. I shouldn't be gone too long, though."

"Alright," she laughed.

He slowly turned. "See ya," he sighed, waving.

"Wait a second," Namine called, setting her sketchbook aside.

Riku turned back to her, and then laughed when she hugged him.

"Just in case," she whispered.

"Afraid I won't come back?" he laughed. "Don't worry. We can handle any of the Replicas Saix sends after us, and the plan if we run into an Organization member is literally just to get the heck out of there as fast as we can. I'll come back."

Namine laughed too, feeling incredibly embarrassed now. However, her embarrassment faded when Riku wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. They stood there for a moment, saying nothing, neither of them moving. Finally though, almost reluctantly, Riku let go of her.

"Hey, I gotta go," he whispered.

She nodded and let go of him, and he grinned.

"I'll be back before you know it," he assured her, turning to leave.

"Good luck!" she called after him.

He didn't respond.

Namine sighed and sat back down on her bed. After a second of thinking, she grabbed her sketchbook. Her thoughts drifted over the picture she had drawn a few minutes ago, but she pushed them aside and started to draw something else.

Something happier.


	43. The First Mission

well... THIS chapter was fun to write. I got some nice character development out of 19. YAY!

* * *

><p>Thankfully, sneaking through the World that Never Was wasn't actually as hard as it had sounded. No one noticed a few random dark corridors opening and a completely random assortment of Replicas walk out of them. Though, only a few people were around at that time.<p>

They ran into absolutely no problems using the directions Joseph had given them, the most they got were a few glances from random Replicas that were just hanging about. No one said anything, though, and all went according to plan.

Until they hit the door.

The door that would only open if you sang a song to it apparently had a taste in what sort of music it wanted to hear, and would only open if you sang what it was in the mood for at that particular time. And, since the door couldn't seem to make up its mind about it wanted to hear, they just went to the other door.

However, on the other side of that door was a pair of Larxene Replicas, chatting aimlessly. Riku bit his tongue to prevent himself from saying anything, and focused incredibly hard on not summoning his blade right there. Said attempts were almost pointless though, as the Larxene Replicas noticed them.

"Ooh! Five random Replicas wandering the halls? And two of them are hooded! That's got to have _something_ behind it!" one of them (Larxene G) sneered, walking over.

The Lexaeus Replica tensed.

"That's her…" he whispered. "_She's_ the one that told Saix."

Riku started forward, but Alpha grabbed him, stopping him.

"Don't you _dare_," Alpha hissed. "You are _not_ endangering the mission because of this. And if _anyone_ finds out you're here, there will be _chaos_. Keep your hood up and _don't say anything!_"

Riku grimaced, but kept his mouth shut.

19 started the prepared explanation, which had something to do with escorting a set of rogue Replicas that they had found to Saix so he could deal with them. Riku wasn't sure what else there was, he hadn't been paying attention then. And he wasn't really paying attention now, either.

"And they're just keeping their hoods up out of spite?" the other Larxene (Larxene N) asked. "Haven't you tried to figure out who they are, at least?" She walked over to Riku, and started to pull his hood down.

"I wouldn't get near him!" Amaryllis warned.

Hardly even thinking, Riku grabbed her by the wrist. She gasped.

"Let go of me!" she shrieked.

"He's… touchy…" Amaryllis finished.

Riku let her go. Larxene N immediately began rubbing her wrist, as if it hurt, and he smirked at that.

"We should get going," 19 said quickly, and everyone started moving.

Larxene G rolled her eyes, and Larxene N glared at them, but before long, they had started their conversation again. Apparently, the explanation had passed as good enough, or at least the Larxene Replicas didn't care to press it further.

"I still don't see why Saix won't let us go after Namine," Larxene G said, irritably. "Apparently it's because Riku'd kill us the moment he saw us."

"Got that right…" Riku muttered.

"But if you get the timing _just_ right," Larxene G continued. "Maybe during one of her memory meltdowns…"

"But isn't Riku always with her during those?" Larxene N asked. "Since he just can't stand being away from his _precious_ Namine." There was laughter in her voice as she said this, and Riku tensed, slowly coming to a halt.

"Ooh, good point," Larxene G laughed. "I guess it would just have to be when there was a raid going on, and _then_ he'd to be too busy fighting _that_ off to be with her! Perfect!"

Riku stopped himself from drawing his blade right there.

_The mission…_ he reminded himself. _Can't endanger the mission…_

_But I can't keep listening to this!_

"Riku…" Alpha hissed warningly.

"I wonder if we could _trigger_ a meltdown…" Larxene N said, excitement in her voice. "What are they caused by, anyways?"

"They aren't!" Riku gasped, turning. Amaryllis caught him this time.

"The mission!" he hissed.

Riku stood there, shaking with anger.

"Just keep walking!" 19 said. "We'll be out of earshot soon."

Riku didn't move.

"I have no clue…" Larxene G replied slowly. "If there actually _is_ a cause. I thought it was just because she's defective."

Alpha winced, Amaryllis groaned, and 19 sighed.

"We've lost him now…" he muttered.

Riku threw open a dark corridor around himself.

"Don't let Riku hear you say _that_," Larxene N laughed.

"Too late," Riku sneered as he appeared behind Larxene G and drove his blade through her.

"Riku!" she screamed, sounding furious. "How dare-"

"No one calls Namine defective," he said, trying to keep his voice level. "_No one._"

"Quick!" Alpha hissed. "Someone get the other one before she informs Saix!"

Amaryllis sighed and formed a dark corridor around himself, reappearing behind Larxene N, who he took out with one swift slash of his Scythe.

Both of the Larxene Replicas faded.

Riku swallowed, and banished his blade.

"They were the only ones around, right?" he asked as everyone else came over.

"Yes," Alpha replied with a sigh. "And we were lucky for that, too."

"Let's get moving," the Lexaeus Replica said simply, and everyone started walking again.

"That might not have been the best idea, sir," 19 whispered, falling in step with Riku. "But… I have to admit… I might have just gotten rid of one of them myself. They were getting a bit annoying."

Riku was silent for a moment.

"19," he said finally, voice extremely quiet. "You were there when Namine was created, right?"

"Well, yes," 19 replied slowly.

"She's not actually… defective… is she?" Riku asked.

19 frowned. "No, not that I know of, sir," he said.

"And you're not just saying that to keep me from killing you, right?" Riku asked, his voice catching slightly.

19 couldn't help but laugh slightly. "Of course not sir," he replied.

Riku let out a small sigh of relief.

There was silence for a moment, allowing their footsteps to echo eerily.

"But then why are the meltdowns happening…?" Riku muttered.

19 swallowed, not sure if that question had actually been directed at him. He decided he should respond anyways: "Like I said before, sir, memories are tricky things." He paused, getting an idea. "If it makes you feel better, I think I know where Master Vexen kept all his research concerning memories. Would you like me to see if I can find it?"

Riku nodded.

"Thanks," he whispered.

19 would have replied, but they had reached their destination. Alpha quickly darted over to the door and pulled his hood down, pressing an ear to the door to listen. After a moment, he motioned 19 to come over.

Riku, Amaryllis, and the Lexaeus Replica all stood guard at different entrances to this area.

"The keys!" Alpha hissed.

Riku rolled his eyes and dug the ring of keys Joseph had given him out of his pocket and tossing them to Alpha. Hopefully, the key to this door would be among them, though they had no way of telling.

"If only Sora were still here…" Amaryllis muttered. "We could use his Keyblade about now."

"I'll say," Alpha replied, as he tried yet another key. It didn't work.

Riku let out a sudden gasp, as a wave of pain exploded in his head. He clutched his head and did his best not to scream. It was just like last time, but the pain was much worse. His vision blurred, and he sunk to his knees.

"Really?" he whispered.

"Are you okay?" the Lexaeus Replica asked roughly, glancing over at him.

"I'm… fine…" Riku managed to reply, but a scream escaped his lips after that as another wave of pain hit him.

The sound of footsteps caught Alpha's attention. He muttered something under his breath and then pocketed the keys. "Mission abort!" he hissed. "Mission abort!"

Everyone quickly formed a dark corridor and left, except 19 and Riku.

19 sighed and grabbed Riku by the arm, and then formed a dark corridor.


	44. Lurking Darkness

Thank you Mr. Sora's Shadow, for over 2000 words. And, I'll admit, this chapter was fun to write

* * *

><p>"I'm… bored…" the Shadow muttered. "Not in the mood to go deal with Sora. He's too weak to get <em>any<em> enjoyment from. Maybe I could-"

A sudden flicker of memory flashed through him. The Castle with white walls. Castle Oblivion. Sora had spent some time there. The Shadow had even visited there once, himself. But maybe he could pick up some thoughts concerning Sora to use against him.

"And even if I don't, I'm sure it will be fun," the Shadow laughed.

XXX

He wandered through the halls, not a single face striking him as familiar. So, so far, he had yet to run into anyone who had spent any time with Sora. He did, however, run into a pair of arguing Marluxia Replicas.

"Tulip, what are you complaining about! You can't even fight!" one of them shouted.

The Shadow burst out laughing. "His name is _Tulip!_ Oh gosh, that is _awesome!_ Man, it would suck to be him!" Oddly enough though, not the slightest dark thought or memory concerning that name was found inside the Marluxia Replica named Tulip.

"Well, not all of us can be as skilled as you are, Snapdragon!" Tulip replied, rather upset.

"Snapdragon?" the Shadow muttered. "That's not a bad name…"

"Besides, I'm still having issues because my arm has been Repaired so many times that I hardly have any of my original data left!" Tulip continued. "It's not really responding the way I want it to!"

"Well if you'd stop getting _injured-_" Snapdragon replied.

The Shadow paused a second, basking in the absolutely wonderful feeling of the anger and hatred that was coming from these two. Tulip was also feeling very upset and useless, while Snapdragon was very annoyed. The Shadow took a deep breath, thoroughly enjoying this.

"May not be as fulfilling as Sora's pain, but it's still nice," he sighed, before moving on.

He turned the corner and ran into someone who happened to be too busy going through his notes to pay attention to where he was going. Said person's name was Vexen, as the Shadow found out all too quickly.

"Joseph!" Vexen shouted, glancing around. However, he found no one there.

"Oh dear…" he sighed. "I'm going insane."

The Shadow might have laughed at that, was he not currently holding his head. He was reeling from all the dark thoughts and memories that had flooded through him the moment he and Vexen had made contact.

"I don't even _want_ to know," he muttered, rubbing his temples. Finally he composed himself and started walking again.

Out of sheer curiosity he went over to the nearest door and opened it. He was surprised to find that it looked something like a bedroom. He raised his eyebrows and then went over to the next door and opened it. He found yet another bedroom.

"Huh," he laughed. "I wonder if Sora had a bedroom. He probably did. I wonder if I could find it…" He closed his eyes, recalling a memory. He began walking, letting the feel of memory lead him to where he wanted go.

However, he ran into someone else.

"Damn!" he breathed, clutching his head as he was bombarded with all the dark thoughts and thoughts connected to dark thoughts that were in this person. "What's with all the freaking bright thoughts!" He paused, getting a good look at who he had just run into. It was a young boy about 12. "That would explain- wait. _WHAT!_" He turned to the boy in shock. "You want to _murder_ someone! But you're _twelve_!"

"Is… someone there?" the boy asked, glancing around.

The Shadow frowned.

"Geeze, I need to stop being so clumsy," he muttered. "I'm _never_ this bad. And next thing I know, I'll end up having someone actually _notice_ me for real. These little wonders are bad enough… but someone to flat out _know_ I exist! That would be terrible."

He shook his head and turned to the nearest door, memory insisting that _this_ was where Sora had stayed. He was very disappointed to find that it had nothing interesting in it. Just like all the other bedrooms, it seemed.

He wandered around a bit more, eventually going up a floor. He was surprised to find on the next level there were still plenty of bedrooms. Not as many as the previous floor, but still a lot. He checked every room, and was even more surprised to find that these rooms seemed to have more furniture. In addition to the typical bed he found a few computers in one room, a desk in another, a full shelf of books in another.

He went through each room carefully, though didn't find any information concerning Sora. The room with the computers had belonged to someone named Alpha, and the computers were impossible to get _anything_ from (the Shadow blamed this on his weird plane of existence). The room with the bookshelf only had books that he didn't really care to read, and the room belonged to someone called 19. The room with the desk was a bit more interesting, as he got quite a bit from a journal that he was sure the owner _never_ wanted read. The owner had been Riku, which lead him to believe this more.

He went to the last room on the floor.

"Whose room is this…?" the Shadow muttered with a smirk as he opened the door. "I hope I don't just walk in on some poor sap."

The room was, however, unoccupied. He glanced around with a bit of surprise, as this room has a _lot_ of furniture, or, at least, more than any other of the rooms. There was a bed, a chair (that was rather close to the bed, he took care to notice), and a table. On the table was a stack or two of paper, a sketchbook and quite a few pencils.

"Someone who draws a lot lives in here then," the Shadow mused. "Someone who draws… hmm… I have a feeling I know someone like that. Or, at least, Sora does…" He closed his eyes and focused hard on bringing up the very fuzzy memories of Sora's that he had inside of him. After a while of concentration, a name finally came to his mind.

"Namine," he whispered. "She's… one of Sora's friends… and…" His eyes squeezed even tighter shut with concentration. "She and Riku are- close. Very close."

His eyes flew open and a look of disgust flashed over his face. The disgust quickly turned to a grin as his eyes fell on the sketchbook.

"Let's see just _how_ close," he laughed, picking it up and flipping through it.

Most of the pictures were of Riku, though there were quite a few of Namine and Riku together, and the occasional one of Kairi, or Sora, but mainly Riku. Always, almost always Riku, the Shadow found out rather quickly as he kept flipping. He paused briefly on each picture of the Namine and Riku together, scanning for any information. It wasn't like he was going to run into either of them, but the information would be handy, just in case.

His flipping came to a dead halt as he hit one picture, and his eyes widened in shock.

"My, my," he said, amusement dripping off of his voice. "Well then, I guess _that's_ just how close they are." A smirk slowly formed on his face, and he continued flipping through the sketchbook.

It wasn't long before another picture caught his eye, but this time for a different reason. His smirk slowly fell to a genuine smile, and his slowly ran his fingers over the picture.

It was a picture of Kairi.

And, unlike most of the other pictures of her, she was actually smiling. He stared at the picture for a few more moments, taking in every detail. Before long, he made a decision. A rather rash decision, though that didn't stop him, it never had before.

Carefully, very carefully, he tore the page out of the book. He made sure no shreds of paper were still hanging to the binding, making at is if the picture was never there in the first place. He then folded up the picture and stuck it in his pocket.

"I bet she'll never notice," he whispered, the smirk returning to his face.

The sound of footsteps caused him to look up, and he quickly set the sketchbook down where he had found it. His actions were apparently not quick enough, though.

"Is someone there?" came a very confused voice.

He turned, finding Namine in the doorway. She was glancing around the room, looking as confused as she sounded. Her eyes never remained on him for more than a second though and he laughed slightly.

"Sorry sweetheart, you can't see me," he laughed.

"I guess I'm just crazy," Namine said finally, and then picked up the sketchbook and a few pencils, before going over to the bed and sitting down. She opened the sketchbook and began to draw.

"Maybe I should go…" the Shadow muttered. "She might notice me if I'm- well… nah. I can stay a bit longer. Maybe I'll pick up some more juicy information…"

He frowned in concentration, examining her face intently. She was completely focused on what she was drawing, and probably took no notice of him cautiously probing her mind. Of course, he could only pick up thoughts that were dark or connected to dark thoughts, so he wasn't getting much. For some reason, there were very few dark thoughts within her. There was one very prominent thought, though.

Riku.

There was just enough darkness around one thought of him for the Shadow to pick it up. However, before he could examine that, an overwhelming amount of _other_ extremely _bright_ thoughts concerning Riku hit him. He quickly shied away from those thoughts.

Surprisingly enough, he found quite the abundance of dark memories. He moved around them carefully, poking at a few, completely ignoring some.

_Memory meltdowns…_

The thought came drifting to him, and he frowned.

"Now just what are _those_?" he said.

He poked around the subject a bit more. Before he could get far though, a sudden wave of dark memories flooded through her brain, clouding everything.

She let out a cry of pain (which he might have laughed at, was he not currently occupied) and the overwhelming thought of: "Oh crud, not _again!_" filled her mind. Her sketchbook fell to the ground, along with a few pencils, as she clutched her head.

The Shadow clutched his own head, not quite being able to avoid the flood of memories himself. He decided rather quickly that he did _not_ like pain. And the pain he was feeling at the moment was unbearable.

"I can't scream…" he gasped. "The moment I scream is the moment that I'll randomly have enough power for someone else to hear me. That would be bad… I can't scream!"

He quickly shoved all the memories aside and put up as many mental blocks as he possibly could. A sudden relief washed over him and he sighed. He straightened, lowering his hands, and glancing over at Namine, who was still in pain. His amusement quickly returned.

The sound of footsteps caused him to turn, yet again, and he found Riku. Riku was rubbing his head, as if he had a headache. However, Riku's worry about the headache seemed to fade quickly as his eyes fell on Namine. In one swift motion, Riku sat down in the chair, pulled one of Namine's hands away from her head and held it in his own, and then cupped her cheek in his other hand.

"The worry on his face is amazing…" the Shadow muttered. "So why can't I-" With a laugh at his own stupidity, he slowly lowered a few of the mental blocks. Just as it should be, Riku's worried thoughts came floating to him.

_Another meltdown? Gosh, this is ridiculous!_ Riku thought.

The Shadow raised his eyebrows in interest as the thoughts continued, each being along the line of the fact that Riku just couldn't _stand_ the meltdowns. He was so sick of watching Namine hurt like this, and angry at himself because there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"Well then!" the Shadow laughed. "I guess it was a good idea for me to stay, then. Though I suppose it won't matter, I'll never be needing to _use_ any of this information."

"Namine," Riku whispered. "It's alright, I'm here now."

She just nodded.

"You'll make it through this," he continued. "It will all be okay."

"Oh _barf,_" the Shadow whispered. "Those are some thoughts I _didn't_ want to hear."

"I don't even know what triggered this one!" Namine said frantically. "I was just sitting here drawing, and it started with no reason!"

"Hmm…" the Shadow muttered thoughtfully. "I wonder if _I_ triggered it. I was poking around at the memories." He paused, catching a sudden thought from Riku, and grimaced. "Sheesh, I guess it's good that he can't see me. I would be _so_ dead right n- oh! Oh gosh! Really? Bright thoughts! Really bright thoughts! And I feel like barfing, too. Just great."

The Shadow groaned.

"That's it, I'm just going to go, this isn't worth sitting through!" he said, and in a flash of darkness, he left.


	45. Right Here

*headdesk* I think THIS explains why Sora's Shadow was barfing.

and, reading through this, I realized: Riku's still in an Organization cloak. Don't ask, I know that's random. but I figured I'd remind you guys of that. *shrug*

* * *

><p>Namine walked into her room and paused, catching a slight ruffle of pages of her sketchbook. She frowned and then glanced around the room.<p>

"Is… someone there?" she asked slowly. She received no response, and she definitely couldn't _see_ anyone. She sighed.

"I guess… I'm just crazy…" she found herself concluding aloud.

_And I'm talking to myself, _her thoughts added.

_ Lovely…_

She shook her head and then grabbed her sketchbook and a few pencils and went over and sat down on her bed. After a second of thinking, she flipped the sketchbook open. Before she could get to a blank page, however, she stopped on one of the pictures and found herself blushing.

_Right… I forgot I redrew that one…_

She examined it for a minute.

_Doesn't look nearly as good as the first one… _

_I hate having to redraw pictures!_

She grabbed her pencil and started about fixing the picture, before stopping.

_Riku will be back any minute…_

_I don't really want him to see this picture…_

_I'm too embarrassed to even admit I drew it, let alone REDREW it._

She sighed and flipped to a blank page, and then started drawing something else. Before long, she was drawing the four of them on the Island. Her, Riku, Sora, and Kairi, all happy, all smiling. Well… she was having trouble with Sora's smile. Apparently, he didn't want to be smiling in this picture.

She frowned and then edited the picture slightly so that he and Kairi were holding hands. The smile was easier to draw after that. She moved on to herself and Riku, trying to place just how exactly they would be standing.

She didn't get far in that though. Quite suddenly, a flood of memories washed over her.

_"I said STOP!" a voice screamed (a voice that sounded oddly like her own, Namine thought later)._

_ There was a flash of light, the sound of a body hitting the floor._

The wave of pain that washed over her was amazing. It felt like everything in her brain just exploded, blurring everything, warping everything, _shattering_ everything. A cry of pain left her lips, and she just kept screaming, hoping it would stop. She clutched her head, and vaguely saw her sketchbook hit the floor before her vision blurred and she squeezed her eyes shut.

The memories just kept hitting her, though the pain died down slightly. Her screams just turned into sobbing. Suddenly, however, she felt her fingers being pried away from her head by someone else. She recognized the hand as Riku's and relaxed, letting him take her hand in his. The memories were slowly dying down, though her head still hurt, but she stopped her sobbing. She felt Riku's hand on her cheek and relaxed even more. Had her head not been full of memories, she might have noticed the fact that her heart had skipped a beat.

"Riku…" she mumbled, her voice barely audible.

Riku swallowed, doing his best to keep the smile on his face. Her eyes were shut, but he still wanted to be smiling for her, just in case.

_Another meltdown? Gosh, this is ridiculous!_ he thought angrily.

_I'm so sick of them, and I'm not even the one who has them! But I just- I can't-_

_I can't stand watching her hurt…_

_And I CAN'T do anything to stop them!_

_I feel like I should be able to…_

He shook his head and put the smile back on his face.

"Namine," he whispered. "It's alright, I'm here now."

She just nodded.

"You'll make it through this," he assured her. "It will all be okay."

_It is every time. It will be okay this time, too._

_ It has to be okay…_

Namine took a few deep breaths. With Riku right here, the memories were fading, and the pain was subsiding slightly. She fought to open her eyes again, and though her vision was still blurred slightly, she was happy to find Riku smiling at her, and she did her best to smile back.

"I don't even know what triggered this one!" she said frantically. "I was just sitting here drawing, and it started with no reason!"

Riku threw a glance over his shoulder, as if he felt something there. He frowned. If there _was_ something there, then he'd bet quite a bit that _it_ had triggered the meltdown. He wasn't sure how it would have, but it would pay. However, he wasn't sure if anything was _really_ there, so he turned back to Namine.

"Shh," he whispered, smiling again. He gently wiped the tears from her eyes. "Explain it later. You'll make it worse if you keep talking now."

"Well, actually," she muttered. "It's fading a bit… I think I-" A sudden cry of pain escaped her, stifling that sentence.

Riku's stomach churned, unsure of what to do. She was still clutching her head with one hand, and her fingers slowly curled into a fist. Her grip around Riku's hand tightened, as if she was holding on for dear life. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks and Riku swallowed, feeling like something had hit him in the gut.

He shifted slightly, not liking the feeling at all. Within seconds he came to the conclusion that he absolutely _hated_ watching her cry.

"Namine… are you okay?" he whispered.

"I-I can't-" she began, but her words were lost in another scream of pain.

_"Stop!" A voice, a girl's voice, screamed, but it hardly reached him. He lunged forward, blade striking. Sora gasped, blocking the attack with his Keyblade._

_"I'm the one who protects Namine!" the Riku yelled, springing back, distancing himself, then swinging his blade down at Sora again._

_"Just stop! Riku!" the voice cried again._ _He had to tear himself away from her scream. Every part of him wanted to listen, but he ignored it and attacked Sora again, sending him flying. _

_"Sora!" the voice gasped._

_That voice… is that… is that me?__ Namine thought._

_"Ugh… Riku…"_ _Sora tried to stagger to his feet as Riku slowly walked towards him._

_"Looks like I win," Riku laughed, raising his blade, preparing to strike._

_"Riku, you can't!" the voice… Namine… screamed. But Riku swung his blade down at Sora anyways._

_"You are through!" he shouted._

_"Stop!" Namine screamed, and the whole area was wrapped in light._

_His vision misted over. He let out a small gasp. His vision rolled. There was no strength left in his legs. His head hurt. Everything hurt-_

_"Riku…?" _

_He could hear Sora calling him._

_'But… I don't understand,' he thought. Even his thoughts hurt. They were blurry, barely understandable. 'I'm…?'_

_"Riku! Riku!" Sora continued to shout._

_'Sora's voice is so far away…' Riku realized. Anger welled up inside him. 'I hate you, Sora. So why would you call my name out like that? Why would you-'_

_Just as if he were sinking, Riku let go of the last of his consciousness._

_"Please… stop already…" Namine mumbled._

It felt like she was sinking, too. The memories slowly blurred together, and then slowly faded to black.

Riku gasped in shock as she suddenly went limp. Her grip on his hand lessened, and her other hand slowly fell away from her head. She fell forward into him, and though shocked, he still caught her. Her breathing slowly calmed.

_She just… fainted…_ Riku thought in surprise. He held her for a moment, pondering what he was going to do.

_I should lay her down…_

_Let her sleep…_

_But I-_

He shook his head, clearing that thought. He pulled away from her, and she nearly fell again, but he quickly steadied her and then maneuvered her so she was lying down. He sat there for a second, and then turned, eyes falling on her fallen sketchbook. He picked it up, along with a few pencils that were scattered about, and put them back on her table. He fingered the edges of her sketchbook for a moment though, tempted to look inside.

He shook his head and pulled his hand away.

_I can't. I doubt there's anything in there that she doesn't want me to see, but still-_

_It would be rude._

_I couldn't do that to her._

She let out a sudden gasp, pulling him out of his thoughts and causing him to turn. There was now a very troubled look on her face. He swallowed and then walked over, grabbing her hand and sitting back down.

"It's alright," he told her. "I'm here."


	46. What Darkness Can Do

sorry it took so long to get this up! I was sick, and wasn't getting much writing done. Sora didn't want to talk, i was forced to SQUEEZE the chapter out of him *sigh* his Shadow, however, was perfectly fine with talking.

which is another reason why this took so long. I had to edit out all of his unnecessary thoughts. Seriously, I'm surprised that he was barfing at Riku and Namine's thoughts, considering what he was giving me *shakes head* honestly... he's worse than them...

enough of my rambling! READ! enjoy

* * *

><p>"Cid, we have a problem," Aerith said.<p>

He glanced up at her. "Don't tell me were out of soda!" he groaned.

"No, that's not it," Aerith sighed. "And soda's not good for you, you shouldn't be drinking it anyways."

Cid opened his mouth to argue, but Aerith stopped him.

"Cid, I don't have time to argue about this," she said quickly. "Sora's gone missing."

"Missing?" Cid asked, starting to stand. "Missing how exactly?"

"Sit back down!" Aerith commanded before he got any further in standing. He glanced at her, and then sighed and sat back down. She frowned at him for a moment, and he just shrugged.

"He ran off," Aerith explained.

"Ran off!" Cid exclaimed, exasperated. "He can't have gone _that_ far, I don't see what the big deal is about! Why can't you just-"

"He used his star shard," Aerith interrupted. Cid raised his eyebrows, shocked.

"That's a completely different story!" he laughed, scratching his chin. "You're wondering if I can track him though, huh?"

Aerith shrugged.

"Check the second drawer of my desk," Cid said. "There should be some sort of device in there. It would be box-shaped, have a screen on it, I think it was blue…"

Aerith raised her eyebrows, examining the contents of the drawer. "Cid," she laughed. "All that's in here is-"

"Third drawer!" he said quickly. "It's in the third drawer!"

Aerith laughed and opened the third drawer. Sure enough, there was the device Cid had been talking about. She picked it up and handed it to him.

"Now let's see here…" Cid muttered, turning it on. "This should be able to predict what World he went to by scanning the frequency that was given off when the star shard was activated. It may not be completely accurate, but- oh…" he frowned, examining the screen. "Never mind, I think we found him."

"Really?"

Cid nodded. "Yeah. Not three seconds after he left, someone arrived here by star shard, around the shops," he explained. "That's either him or a scary coincidence."

"Thank you, Cid!" Aerith laughed, starting out of the room. "We're going to go get him then! If you need anything-"

"I'll be fine!" Cid called after her.

XXX

_I should go back,_ Sora thought with a sigh. _But… I don't know… after running out like that, maybe it would be better if I just left._

_Get out of their hair._

_I'm sure it would be better for them if I wasn't around._

_My darkness wouldn't hurt anybody…_

He slowly reached into his pocket, hand closing around the star shard again.

_ But… where would I go?_

He sighed and pulled his hand out of his pocket.

_ I've never been on my own before._

_ I grew up surrounded by friends on the Islands. Even when I fell into darkness, Maleficent still took me in. It wasn't the… best of times… but I wasn't on my own. Then I wound up in Castle Oblivion, and even after leaving Castle Oblivion I ended up here._

_ The only time I've ever been alone is… in the Realm of Darkness. And I don't remember much of that._

_ Would I survive on my own?_

He paused a second, almost as if waiting for a response.

"My Shadow's oddly quiet…" he muttered. "He would've had some cocky response to that. I wonder what he's- wait. No. I don't care." He shook his head.

_I still have to do deal with my Shadow, too._

_ For some reason, I feel like it's not doing me any good by staying here._

_ I mean, I'm getting stronger… but…_

_ He's me. Doesn't that mean he gets stronger, too?_

Sora groaned and buried his face in his hands, trying not to break down into sobs again. He wasn't even sure why he was sobbing in the first place. He just felt so… broken inside. So ashamed. So-

"Sora!" someone called.

He glanced up in shock, finding Aerith running over to him.

"There you are!" Aerith laughed, bending over so she could look him in the eye. "We were worried about you."

"Worried?" Sora muttered.

"Hey!" Aerith called, straightening. "He's over here!" She turned back to Sora and laughed. "C'mon! Let's head back."

"Were you all… searching for me?" Sora asked, slowly rising to his feet. Aerith nodded. Sora frowned. "Would you have searched other Worlds for me?"

Aerith shrugged. "Cloud would've, at least. I probably would, too, if there wasn't too much trouble here."

_I can't believe… they were that worried about me…_ Sora thought, taken aback. His thoughts were interrupted as everyone else ran over.

"You alright, Sora?" Leon asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Sora replied with a nod. "I'm alright."

"You sure scared us, running off like that," Yuffie laughed.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Don't worry about it," Aerith assured him. "Now let's head back. Maybe I'll fix us some tea!"

Yuffie groaned. "But I'm sick of tea!"

"Lemonade then?" Aerith suggested as everyone started walking.

"Lemonade would be nice," Leon admitted.

"Why'd you run?" Cloud asked quietly, speaking for the first time. He and Sora had fallen a bit behind the group.

Sora shrugged and thought about it for a second. He _honestly_ had no clue why he had run. He had just panicked and-

He shook his head. "I… don't know…" he replied finally.

"Be careful," Cloud warned. "The darkness has a funny way of making you do things. Sometimes it may alter your thoughts and convince you to do something, sometimes it will force you against your will, and sometimes… it will make you do something, but you'll never be able to remember why. Watch yourself."

Sora nodded.

"I will," he whispered.

XXX

"Damn… this world is _bright_…" the Shadow whispered, wincing slightly and shielding his eyes. "It's no wonder why Sora wanted to leave. I think." He frowned. That wasn't it. "No… there was… something else…" he sighed and closed his eyes, trying to recall any fragment of memory concerning this. But for some reason, he just couldn't. After getting nothing for a while he just gave up and opened his eyes. Again he winced from the brightness.

"Why the hell did I want to come here again?" he muttered, shaking his head. He was about to just leave when he heard something.

"Don't worry about it, Selphie," Kairi laughed. "You three have fun. I'll catch up later."

The Shadow let out a small sigh and slowly smiled as she walked over. He stepped out of her way, though he _did_ consider letting her run into him. It probably would have given him a headache… but…

"It would have been worth it…" he sighed wistfully. "To have run into the most beautiful girl ever…"

He summoned his chains and began twirling them, watching as Kairi sat down and began to write another letter.

"Sora's one lucky guy," he whispered. "It's almost a pity I have to drag him into darkness and he'll never know just how much Kairi misses him." He laughed. "Who am I kidding? He doesn't deserve her!"

He slowly frowned, focusing on reading Kairi's thoughts. He was getting quite the abundance of dark memories, all concerning Sora's fall into darkness. And… he couldn't help but be slightly troubled by the fact that Kairi had been hurt so badly.

"Idiot…" he groaned. "Sora, if you had just-"

He shook his head, continuing to poke around at Kairi's dark thoughts. However, it wasn't long before he was distracted by… other things.

There was something that he found absolutely _stunning_ about Kairi. He couldn't place _what_ exactly, but there was something. Maybe it was her smile. He had only seen it briefly, but he absolutely _loved_ it, and decided that there was nothing he wouldn't give to have that smile directed at him. Except, of course, she couldn't see him. He wished she could, though.

"She's so bright, too," he whispered. "Like an angel…" He slowly laughed, mainly at himself. "If she's an angel, then, hell, I might as well be a demon!" he laughed, and then smirked. "A demon falling for an angel, huh? So cliché, like those stupid fairytale movies Sora watched when he was a kid."

The Shadow paused a second, confusion growing on his face.

"_Really_?" he groaned. "I get memories from when Sora was five, but not from four months ago? Sure! That totally make sense!"

His fingering suddenly faltered, and the chains slipped, clonking him in the head. "Ow!" he shouted, rubbing his aching head and letting the chains fall into the sand with a dull thud. He started muttering curses under his breath.

Shocked, Kairi glanced up.

"Sora…?" she whispered.

"I'm just as _clumsy_ as him," the Shadow muttered irritably.

"Sora, is that you?" Kairi asked.

"Sorry sweetheart, but no," the Shadow replied. "At least not the Sora you _want_ to see," he added under his breath bitterly.

"Who… are you, then?"

The Shadow paused, realizing that he had just started a conversation with Kairi, which shouldn't have been possible. Only Sora should be able to hear him, except at those times where he randomly had enough power to project his voice, times which he had no control over.

Maybe this was one of those times. If it was, he was certainly going to abuse it.

"You can… hear me?" he asked slowly, still shocked.

"Well… yes…" Kairi answered, turning around. Her eyes darted around area, but never once lingered on him.

"How much of what I said did you hear?" he pressed, banishing the blasted chains.

"Well, I thought I heard something earlier…" Kairi explained. "But, I guess, I didn't start hearing you until just now."

The Shadow sighed.

"You can't see me, can you?" he asked quietly.

Kairi shook her head. "Are you hiding?"

_Hiding from YOU? Please!_ his thoughts replied. He bit his tongue though.

"No," he said instead.

"Where are you?" Kairi asked.

The Shadow laughed slightly. "A bit to your left," he responded. "Wait!" he called quickly as she looked right past him. "A bit more to your right. A bit more… stop!"

Obediently, Kairi stopped, her gaze falling right on him.

He smiled.

"There," he laughed. "You're staring right at me."

Kairi frowned. "I don't… see anything," she said slowly. "Sorry."

She smiled apologetically.

"Ah, that's alright," the Shadow sighed. It didn't really matter, anyway.

_Besides, she smiled at me. It wasn't… much of a smile, but it was still a smile._

"I'm Kairi," she said. "Who are you?"

"No one of importance," he replied.

Kairi stared at him, looking as if she was trying to decide if she believed him or not. "But you are… real, right?" she asked, and then laughed. "I know that sounds like a stupid question, but you sound an awful lot like Sora, and I'm afraid I'm just hallucinating all this. I sure hope I'm not, because then I'd be crazy."

The Shadow burst out laughing. "Well, I'm _not_ a hallucination," he assured her. "I'm definitely here, and I'm definitely talking to you."

Kairi let out a small sigh of relief. "That's good. I don't want to be a crazy person."

"You're not crazy," he said. "You're-" He paused. He knew how he _wanted_ to finish that sentence. He wanted to call her beautiful. But… he didn't have the nerve.

"You're not crazy," he repeated, instead.

There was silence for a moment.

_This is so… awkward…_ the Shadow thought. _I don't like awkward. I guess I'll just go. I've still got Sora to deal with… even though… I don't want to leave._

_But I can't stay here forever, either._

He cleared his throat. "I- I should go," he said. "I shouldn't even be here, in the first place. I have… uh… things I need to be doing."

"Okay," Kairi said. "It was nice talking to you."

He smiled. "Yeah, it was…" he whispered.

And in a flash of darkness, he was gone.


	47. Running from a Memory

hey! another update!

yeah... school's throwing off my writing schedule *sigh*

* * *

><p>They all sat in Cid's room, everyone enjoying their lemonade. They only sat in Cid's room because he didn't want to be left out from the conversation (and wanted to examine Sora's star shard for some reason).<p>

"Were you afraid we weren't going to let you stay here because of your darkness or something?" Aerith laughed, glancing at Sora.

He shrugged. "I- I don't know," he replied. "I was more… embarrassed than anything. I just panicked and-" he trailed off.

"Well, if it _is_ your darkness you're worried about, then don't," Cid said, still examining the star shard. "We had to deal with that enough when Cloud was struggling with _his_ darkness, forever ago. We're used to it."

Sora glanced over at Cloud, who made no movement whatsoever. He either didn't care that they were talking about his darkness so openly or was ignoring them.

"That was forever ago…" Yuffie muttered. "I mean, Za-" she stopped that sentence short, and cast a nervous glance over at Aerith. Aerith had a very blank look on her face, though it looked like she was struggling to keep it there. Yuffie swallowed.

Sora frowned. "What?" he asked.

"I suppose we should tell the poor kid…" Cid muttered. "So he's not confused with us sittin' 'round and dodgin' a subject he doesn't understand what we're dodgin' it for."

All eyes flickered back to Aerith. She hadn't moved.

Leon quickly downed his lemonade. "Aerith," he said. "I'm out of lemonade, may I have some more?"

Aerith quickly shook her head and glanced over at him. "You forgot to say please," she laughed.

Leon rolled his eyes. "Please," he added.

"Sure!" Aerith replied happily. "Does anyone else need refills?"

Everyone else had taken the hint and quickly finished their lemonade, too. Aerith took their glasses and headed out to get more lemonade.

"Is she okay with this?" Sora asked quickly. "That we're sending her off so she doesn't hear anything, and all."

Leon nodded. "She doesn't want to hear about it, really."

"Besides, if she were here, we'd get nowhere in explaining anything," Cid added. "She tends to drop things, or change the subject quickly."

"But… how long does it take to get lemonade?" Sora asked.

"She knows we're talking about him," Cloud muttered, speaking up for the first time in a while. "She'll take her time on purpose."

"But that doesn't leave time for dilly-dally," Yuffie said, a tad annoyed. "Get to the explaining already."

"You were the one who left off," Leon pointed out.

Yuffie frowned. "Well, as I _was_ saying," she continued. "Zack was still around at that time."

"When was this?" Sora asked.

"About… six or seven years ago," Cid replied, and then paused. "Wait, do you mean when Zack was still around or when Cloud was still struggling with his darkness?"

"Zack," Sora said simply.

"Four years," Cloud replied quickly. "He's been gone about four years. Nearly five now." His voice was quiet as he said this, as if he didn't really want to talk about it. He probably didn't.

Sora was getting the feeling that _no one_ really wanted to talk about what happened to Zack, and not just for Aerith's sake.

_But… I guess… I won't have another option to ask_… he thought with a sigh.

"What happened to him?" he asked quietly.

Silence for a brief second.

"He's dead," Cloud whispered.

Sora winced, instantly feeling absolutely _terrible_ for asking. "I'm sorry," he said. "What- I mean… how?"

Cloud shook his head.

"There's not enough time to explain all that," Leon explained.

"Not nearly enough," Cloud agreed. "Ask me later, if you really want to know. But it's not pretty."

Sora rolled his eyes slightly, sure that he had heard plenty of unpleasant things that this couldn't possibly be much worse. He made a mental note to ask Cloud later, as he was extremely curious. He then moved onto the next question he had concerning this subject.

"So… if it's been almost five years," he said slowly. "Why is Aerith-"

"Still freaking out about him?" Yuffie finished, and then laughed.

"Be nice," Leon warned, and then turned to Sora. "We _were_ in Traverse Town for a while. The shock of being back home might just be most of it."

"Or maybe she can't ignore the thought any longer," Cloud muttered. "She has been trying to ignore it for a while now. I wouldn't be surprised if the thought finally caught up to her."

"And, if it helps you any," Cid added. "She and Zack were a lot like Namine and Riku."

Sora grimaced. That thought helped _a lot_. He knew how bad they (or at least Riku) were when they were apart, and that was only after not seeing each other for a few months. But if one of them were to actually _die_… He shuddered slightly, not really wanting to think about that.

"That does help," Sora whispered. "I couldn't imagine-" he shook his head, not finishing the sentence.

"Couldn't imagine what?" Aerith asked, walking in with a tray with more lemonade. "Don't worry," she added. "I got everyone a new glass."

"I… uh… couldn't imagine what either Namine or Riku would be like if the other was… gone," Sora replied, taking a glass of lemonade from her.

Aerith frowned, handing a glass to Cloud. "Ooh, that would be bad, wouldn't it?" she said.

"I'm sure it would be terrible," Leon agreed, taking a glass from Aerith.

"We all know how touchy Riku get's when Namine's in trouble," Yuffie added, also grabbing a glass of lemonade.

"Trust me, I know," Cid muttered as Aerith handed him a glass. After a moment he glanced back at Sora's star shard and laughed. "Oh, here you go Sora! I was done looking at that a while ago." He tossed the star shard back to Sora. Sora caught it and pocketed it.

"Thanks," Sora said.

"Did you guys talk about anything interesting while I was gone?" Aerith asked.

"Not really," Yuffie replied.

Everyone seconded that statement.

XXX

Riku shifted uncomfortably. The Organization cloak was really beginning to bother him. He sighed, glancing at Namine, who was sleeping peacefully. She hadn't really budged an inch. However, he was still holding her hand. It wasn't like he _couldn't_ move. He just… didn't really want to…

However, the cloak had been bothering him long enough. He let go of her hand and stood up, quickly removing the darn cloak. He let out a small sigh of relief once it was off. He then frowned, realizing he had no idea what to do with the cloak now. He couldn't just leave it lying around…

Sighing, he opened up a dark corridor to his room and just tossed it through, deciding not to worry about until… sometime later. It didn't really matter now. He was about to sit down back down when there was a knock on the door. He frowned, but went and opened the door.

It was 19.

"Sorry, sir, if you're busy," 19 muttered. "I do, however have all the research I could find on the subject of memories. If you would like to come see it-" he trailed off, and then frowned. After a moment, though, he got an idea. "Would you like me to bring it to you?"

Slowly, Riku nodded.

"If you- wouldn't mind," he said, trying to sound polite.

19 nodded. "It's no problem, sir," he replied, heading off.

He returned only moments later, carrying a small stack of books and a folder. He quickly handed these to Riku, as if they were heavy. However, Riku seemed to have no trouble holding them. Then again, he _was_ pretty strong. He ignored that thought, though, and examined the stack he was now holding.

"That is all the books and loose papers I could find on the subject," 19 explained. "The sections in the books that I thought would be useful are all bookmarked, though you might want to browse through everything to be safe. I'm sure Master Vexen had more files concerning this subject saved to his computer… but… I'm no good with computers. You'll have to ask someone else about that."

Riku nodded, again. "Thank you," he said.

"It was no problem," 19 repeated. "If you have any questions, feel free to call me." He paused, considering something. "Though, if you would like my help with the research-"

Riku shook his head. "It's alright," he muttered. "This way I actually feel like I'm doing something…"

"I'm sure Miss Namine appreciates what you're doing already," 19 said.

Riku glanced up at 19, a bit shocked. "And what exactly _am_ I doing?" he asked.

"Well, you're always there for her when a meltdown is happening-" 19 began.

"But that doesn't stop them _from_ happening," Riku interrupted, bitterly.

19 slowly closed his mouth, unsure if he could say anything else. Anything else that he could _think_ of saying… well… he was sure that Riku didn't want to hear, especially not right now. Finally, he settled on: "If you need me, sir, just call."

Riku nodded again. 19 left.

Riku glanced over the stack of books he held again. He glanced around the room, then at the chair, and then sighed. He settled with sitting on the floor, and began skimming through the loose papers.


	48. Wasting Time

Sora's Shadow, I have VERY VERY VERY mixed feelings about you. You make me right a chapter that makes me HATE you, and then you go and write THIS

*headdesk*

glances over at Namine and Riku. I don't know what to say about them for this chapter

* * *

><p>"Riku…?" she asked quietly, blinking her eyes a few times.<p>

She received no response, and then frowned in confusion. With a bit of effort, she rolled over, and was surprised to find him sitting in the middle of the floor, books and loose papers strewn around him. He had one book in his lap, which he was reading frantically, occasionally glancing over at one of the loose papers as if to compare something. He was muttering slightly.

"What are you doing?" she asked, louder this time.

He jumped.

"Namine!" he said, glancing over at her. He smiled, though it looked a bit forced. "I- I didn't realize you were awake. I-"

"What are you doing?" Namine repeated, laughing slightly. Though, the forced smile was bothering her…

"I-" Riku glanced down at the book in his lap. "Oh, I- I'm doing research. 19 brought it over. It's all concerning memories." He glanced back up at her. "I thought… maybe… we could figure out more about the meltdowns." He smiled slightly, though it still looked forced, and then returned to reading.

Namine frowned slightly, unsure of what to do. Part of her wanted to thank him. But… she was worried. She pushed herself into a sitting position, and looked at him. His back was to her, though he was glancing over at some of the papers around him at the moment.

"How long have you been at this?" she asked after a second.

"A while," Riku replied, using the tone that indicated he didn't quite care.

"How long's 'a while'?" she pressed. The laughter was returning to her voice, despite her worry.

Riku shrugged. "No more than a few hours," he said, clarifying himself. He flashed her another smile and then returned to the book.

Namine frowned, realizing something. Not only did his smile seem a bit forced, but his eyes were tired, more tired than she had seen them in a while. Tired as they only tended to get when he was focusing hard on something.

_Maybe… too hard…_ she thought.

"When was the last time you slept?" she asked after a moment.

He didn't answer right away. She sighed.

"I don't know," he said finally. "I guess it's been a while."

"You should probably get some sleep," Namine laughed.

"I'm fine," he muttered. "I'm not tired."

"Riku, I'm serious," Namine said. "I don't care if you _can_ function on little sleep, it's probably not good for you. You should really-"

"I'm fine!" Riku snapped, interrupting her.

She slowly closed her mouth, her sentence and plenty of her thoughts coming to an abrupt halt. She swallowed; all she could do was sit there in shock.

Riku had just snapped at her.

And for some reason, she couldn't think of what to do in response.

Riku slowly turned to her, looking as shocked as she felt. "I- I'm so sorry," he stuttered. "I didn't- I- I didn't mean-"

She shook her head. "Don't- don't worry about it," she told him. "You're just tired, that's all."

"I-" he began, and then sighed. "Yeah… tired…" he whispered. "I must be…" he rubbed his head, slowly closing the book and gathering up the papers. He turned to her again. "Listen, I am _really_ sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Don't worry about it," she repeated. "Go take a nap. You probably need some sleep."

He nodded, standing up with the pile of books in his arms. "If you need anything, just… come get me," he told her, starting out.

"Leave the books here," she said.

He turned to her, confused.

"I don't want you reading instead of sleeping," Namine explained. "Leave them here."

Riku slowly nodded and set the books down on the table. He glanced back at her and gave her a weak smile before leaving.

"Research, huh?" Namine muttered to herself once he was gone, grabbing one of the books. After a second of thinking, she grabbed her sketchbook too, and then returned to her bed and began to read.

XXX

Sora

I'll admit it. I miss you a lot. I can't wait for you to come home, Sora, but… I'm scared. I really do want to see you again, but I'm afraid that you'll be consumed by the darkness when I do. I don't want that… I hated watching you suffer like you did. And I hated seeing the darkness warp your every action. I don't want to see you hurt like that again.

The darkness is a _terrible_ thing. I hope you've learned that, and I hope you're fighting it with everything you have.

I also hope that it's your fighting that's keeping you away from home, and not something else.

In other news, though, I met someone interesting today. I couldn't see him… but I could hear him, and he sounded a lot like you. I'm still wondering if he was just a hallucination or not. Hallucinations would tell you that you're not hallucinating, right?

But… I think he was real. We didn't talk much, though. He seemed surprised that I could hear him, at first, and then a bit… disappointed when I told him that I couldn't see him. I wonder if I'm supposed to be able to see him. From the way he put it though, I doubt it. He didn't seem at all surprised that I couldn't see him, and his shock about me being able to hear him was amazing.

We didn't talk much more than that. And… he never did tell me his name. All he said was that he was no one of importance. I wonder if there's a reason why he's not telling me who he is…

That wasn't _you?_ Was it Sora? Was that you? Did you come and talk to me? And if you did… why were you hiding? Are you afraid for some reason?

I really do want to see you Sora.

So what are you being afraid for?

Kairi

XXX

Sora's Shadow glanced over the letter again, and sighed.

"Darkness is terrible… huh?" he whispered. "Of course… I'm not sure what I'm thinking, falling for her like this. I'm wasting my time…"

He read through the letter yet again, as if it would tell him something different. It didn't. All it managed to do was make him feel worse.

"She doesn't want to see Sora consumed by the darkness, huh?" he muttered. "Right… which means… she wouldn't be able to stand to look at me. Considering, I basically _am_ Sora who's been consumed by darkness…" A wicked smirk slowly formed on his face though after a moment. "But _she_ doesn't need to know that, does she?" he laughed. "Which means… maybe… we could talk more…"

He took one last look at the letter.

"She did say I was interesting," he mused. He then rolled his eyes. "However, she thinks I'm Sora. Well, I'm not. Tough luck sweetie!"

He crumpled the letter into a ball and started singeing it with Dark Firaga. After a second, though, he paused. He unfolded the letter and glanced at it again.

"She did mention me…" he sighed. "It's a good thing I found this letter, and Sora didn't. If Sora knew that I'd talked to Kairi- ooh boy…" He shook his head. "I'd _so_ be dead right now."

He folded the letter up nicely and shoved it in his pocket. He looked around the area. Nothing had changed, really. He sat on one of the rooftops in Hollow Bastion, and thus had an absolutely _wonderful_ view of the area. And, just his luck, Sora happened to be in the middle of training not too far from here.

"Go on… get stronger…" the Shadow laughed. "The stronger _you_ get, the stronger _I_ get." He leaned back, grinning. "Besides, the longer I wait to bother him again, the more anger he can build up against me. I can already feel it growing…"

An idea crossed his mind, and he burst out laughing.

"Oh man, I wonder how much he'll hate me if he _does_ find out I've talked to Kairi. I might be in for the fight of my life, but I think it would be worth it!"

The Shadow fed off of all of Sora's pain, and anger, and most certainly, his _hate._ Especially Sora's hate towards _him_. The more Sora hated him, the stronger he would get. And maybe… he'd be strong enough that he wouldn't have to worry about the weird plane of existence. Maybe he'd be strong enough to _truly_ exist. And not just exist to Sora, or half-exist to Kairi. But… completely exist to _everyone_.

"Maybe I _should_ tell him…" the Shadow muttered. "I bet I'd get a good fight out of him. And, _that_ would be fun."

He grinned.


	49. Anxious Heart

Riku... you are ridiculous

anyways, in other news 150 PAGES! WHOOT!

and... im sorry this chapter is so short. however, the scene i PLANNED to put after this... well... Sora's Shadow turned it into something freakishly long, so i couldnt.

that, and an update to my profile, made a new video. Broken Pieces. You should go watch it. seriously.

* * *

><p>There was a knock on her door. Surprised, Namine looked up.<p>

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Number 19, miss," came the reply. "May I come in?"

"Sure," Namine laughed.

The door slowly opened, and 19 took one look around the room and almost immediately frowned. "Where is Master Riku?" he asked.

"Sleeping," Namine replied. "At least, he should be…"

"Ah!" 19 said. "Right… I suppose I should have checked his room first… I had just assumed that he was still with you-" he trailed off, looking rather embarrassed. "But… it's probably best if I don't disturb him, he hasn't slept in a while…"

Namine shook her head, acknowledging the fact that Riku hadn't slept in a while.

"Well, if you see him before I do, let him know that I've found more research," 19 finished. "Do you… happen to know if the research I found helped any?"

"No, sorry," Namine replied with a shrug. "I insisted that he get some sleep before I bothered to ask about that."

19 glanced around the room again, noting that she had also seemed to be looking through the research. His eyes lit up. "Oh, so you've read it, too?" he asked, sounding positively excited.

She nodded. "Not all of it, but I'm working my way through some."

"Has it been helpful?"

She grimaced. 19's smile fell.

"No! The research is fine!" Namine said quickly. "It's just… all I seem to be learning from it is that there's no possible way to fix what's wrong with me- and-"

"No worries," 19 interrupted. "I'm not offended. Only worried that… well… if it's not helpful…" He grimaced this time. "I'm not quite sure how happy Riku will be," he muttered.

"He's not going to kill you, if that's what you're worried about," Namine laughed.

"Are you sure about that, miss?" 19 replied, a devious glint in his eye.

"I'll make sure that he doesn't," Namine said, grinning.

19 laughed. "Good luck with that! Though… if you managed to convince him to sleep…" He trailed off, and then raised his eyebrows, realizing something. "Who knows, maybe you'll get him to actually use the Repair Program! Anyways, I should be going."

"Repair Program…?" Namine muttered. She started to ask 19 about that, only to find him already gone.

_Just another thing to ask Riku about…_ she thought with a sigh.

XXX

Riku lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. As tired as he was, he just… couldn't sleep.

_I can't believe I yelled at her…_ he thought with a groan. _I feel terrible. I mean- I know I've apologized… but…_

_ She told me not to worry about it._

_ So… I should stop worrying about it._

_ Right?_

He rolled over.

_I don't know… I still feel bad._

Not once had he ever yelled at her, or snapped at her, or even raised his voice. The only time that he even got _close_ to raising his voice was when he was telling her to stop worrying about something that she shouldn't be worrying about, typically after a meltdown. But then… it was only with mild annoyance. He couldn't yell at her after a meltdown. She was already in enough stress then, and him yelling would have just made it worse.

Besides… he found it hard to get mad at her at all.

_Except just then…_ he thought wearily. _Though… it wasn't like I was mad… I was just-_

_ Just annoyed at what I was reading._

_ And tired._

_ And she started pestering me- and-_

_ I snapped…_

He groaned again, rubbing his head. He rolled back over onto his back and continued staring at the ceiling. He felt absolutely terrible. They hadn't even had time to talk much. He never bothered to tell her how the mission went. Never got around to explaining more about the research…

He never even got the chance to ask if she was okay.

His door opened a crack and he glanced over at it, very confused. For a second, he was slightly scared that Namine would be standing there. Or maybe… _hoping_ that it was her, coming to tell him that everything was okay. He was, however, surprised (and slightly relieved and disappointed) to find 19 standing there. 19 looked embarrassed.

"So sorry to disturb you, sir!" 19 exclaimed. "Miss Namine mentioned that you were sleeping, and I thought I'd check for myself considering that you ne-"

"You talked to Namine!" Riku asked quickly, sitting up. "Is she alright? Did she seem upset? Was she angry?"

19 frowned, now more confused than embarrassed.

"Umm… no…" he replied slowly. "Why would she be?"

Riku paused. "I- Nothing. Nothing. Just- just nothing," he muttered.

19 considered pressing the issue farther, but decided against it. "Well, sir, you should probably get back to sleep. I'm sorry I-"

"19!" came a very sudden and very loud shout from down the hall.

19 sighed.

"I wondered when 23 was going to start bothering me…" he muttered. "He hasn't complained in a while. I love working with him and all, but he's… changed… recently…" He shook his head. "Sorry sir, I should leave you alone and… go see what 23 wants. Sleep well!"

And with that, 19 left.

Riku let out a slightly relieved sigh as he lay back down.

_She's not… mad._

_ Maybe I'm just overreacting._

_ It probably is just nothing…_

He slowly closed his eyes, set on falling asleep this time. He knew for certain that even if Namine wasn't mad at him now, she'd probably be mad at him if he didn't sleep like she'd told him to.


	50. Prying Darkness

see? it's a cliffhanger! Sora's Shadow does like hogging chapters...  
>and apologies that he was such a jerk...<br>stupid Shadow

you know, i'm surprised no one's asked if i'm going to post a special chapter. I figured i'd tell you that... yeah! i am! just not till chapter 54, when this OFFICIALLY becomes the longest thing i've ever written. well... if you want me to post a special chapter... if you don't want one... then i won't post one

oh, and may i quote: "Yuffie's mid shout, Cid's about to throw something, Aerith's trying to stop them, Leon's resigned himself to the inevitable, and Cloud's just sitting there like meh."  
>thank you forevermagik13 for that!<p>

* * *

><p>They all sat around the table, enjoying the meatloaf that Aerith had made. Cid had healed enough that he could walk by this point, and was eating dinner with them, instead of being stuck in his room. He was cracking jokes, as always, and everyone was laughing.<p>

Everyone but Sora, that is, who was doing his best to ignore a little annoyance that had decided to show its face again.

His Shadow.

"I don't see why I bother you so much," his Shadow sighed, summoning his chains and twirling them (Sora was beginning to think that he absolutely _needed_ something to occupy his hands at every moment, considering the way he kept summoning the chains). He was leaning against the wall, directly behind Sora.

_You know perfectly well why you bother me,_ Sora thought bitterly. He figured, since his Shadow seemed to have no problem reading his thoughts, he might as well just think what he had to say instead of embarrassing himself by saying it out loud.

"Because I'm your darkness and you can't stand to look at me because you don't want to be reminded of it?" the Shadow laughed. "Or… I suppose… I'm just annoying. I wonder if I am just annoying… I hope not…" His voice slowly grew quiet, maybe even a bit worried. "If _you_ find me annoying…" he muttered. "I wonder if _she_-"

The Shadow didn't finish that sentence. However, the thought of Kairi crossed Sora's mind shortly after him saying it, causing Sora to frown.

_Though… I suppose… if he can read my thoughts, I suppose I could read his as well._

_ But- why in the Worlds would he be thinking about Kairi?_

"I wasn't thinking about… Kai-Kai…? Kairi," the Shadow replied, his voice cracking slightly over her name, as if he wasn't sure how to say it. "Whatever her name is- I wasn't thinking about her!"

There was urgency in his voice though, followed by frantic thoughts that sounded to Sora much like closing doors, but felt more like barriers being put up. Sora stabbed another piece of meatloaf with his fork and ate it, deciding he wouldn't bother trying to figure out what his Shadow was doing. He had a notion that it had something to do with mental blocks, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to be poking around in his Shadow's brain to figure out _what_ he was blocking.

So, instead, Sora tried to focus on the conversation happening at the table before him.

"That's when cranky-pants over here decided it would be a good time to start screaming," Yuffie laughed, nodding towards Cid when she said "cranky-pants." He started complaining about this, but Yuffie ignored him.

"Of course, this alerted _all_ the enemies around of our presence," Yuffie continued. "And I had to spend the next five minutes getting them off our tail while Aerith tried to get him to calm down."

"It wasn't like that!" Cid said exasperatedly.

At this, Sora's Shadow started laughing. "Ooh boy, am I enjoying this!"

_Enjoying this HOW?_ Sora couldn't help but wonder.

"Please!" his Shadow laughed. "You think that _you're_ the only person I'm connected to. I'm _pure darkness._ I can feel_ everyone's_ negative emotions. And these two arguing over here?" He sighed.

_Great, so THEIR arguing makes HIM stronger? That's just lovely…_

Sora sighed, taking another bite of meatloaf. "Can you two stop arguing?" he asked quietly, glancing between Yuffie and Cid. "I- I have a headache…"

Everyone stopped, Yuffie mid-shout, Cid looking as if he was about to throw something, Aerith trying to get them to stop, Leon seemed to have resigned himself to the inevitable and wasn't trying to help her, Cloud was just ignoring them. Everyone slowly turned to Sora, as he lazily pushed meatloaf around his plate. Cid and Yuffie mumbled apologies and went back to their food.

"You do not have a headache!" the Shadow laughed. "Are you lying? Lying just to- oh damn, you're not serious are you? Wow! Just-"

_Just shut up…_ Sora thought, glancing over his shoulder just enough to cast a glare at his Shadow.

"How long have you had a headache?" Aerith asked, turning to Sora with concern.

"It only started recently," Sora replied, bitterly.

"Aww! Poor Sora! Am I giving him a nasty headache?" his Shadow sang in a singsong voice. He was grinning. Sora didn't need to turn around to know that.

"That's too bad…" Aerith sighed. "Are you okay?"

Sora nodded.

"Though… speaking of headaches, do you know who gets the _nastiest?_" the Shadow asked. Apparently, he hadn't been at all paying attention to the little exchange between Aerith and Sora.

Sora rolled his eyes. He didn't care.

"Namine," the Shadow continued anyways, probably just because Sora didn't want to hear it. "Her memory meltdowns or… whatever they are, _damn_, they _hurt._ Just where I _don't_ want to hanging around; her when one's happening." There was a pause, and Sora could almost feel him shudder.

On top of that, though, Sora also managed to pick up quite a few fragments of thought. He frowned, curious and slightly shocked.

_He CAUSED a meltdown?_

_ I'm surprised Riku didn't-_

"Riku can't see me," the Shadow said before Sora could finish the thought. "He doesn't know I exist. Though I do agree with you. I would have been dead meat if he did."

Sora shook his head, reminding himself that he needed to be _ignoring_ his Shadow.

Of course… it was harder than it should have been. His Shadow could, of course, hear his every thought. Therefore, he had to keep his thoughts away from anything concerning his Shadow. But… he had a nasty habit of wondering things like:

When was he in Castle Oblivion?

Since when does he have a life outside me?

I thought his entire purpose was to annoy me, when does he have time to bother other people?

Questions which his Shadow didn't hesitate to answer.

"Are you serious? Do you think that just because I'm your 'shadow' means I'm permanently bound to you? Hell no!" the Shadow laughed. "I can still do whatever I want! I mean, you can't be-"

Sora just tuned him out at this point, especially considering the fact that he slipped into quite the bit of swearing. Sora raised his eyebrows, almost laughing at the thought of what Aerith would do if she could hear him. He wondered if she could…

"I doubt it…" the Shadow muttered.

Sora continued to ignore him. He handed his plate to Aerith as she walked past. She laughed at something that Leon said, and then headed out to the kitchen with everyone's plates. She came back with dessert not much later, which was pie.

Sora smiled slightly as he was handed a slice. He happened to like pie.

"Hey! Are you ignoring me?" the Shadow asked. "Here I was giving you a perfectly good rant and you weren't even listening!"

_No, I wasn't listening,_ Sora replied._ I'm trying to ignore you… I thought that was obvious._

"Am I seriously bothering you that much?"

Sora sighed. _Honestly, I'd almost rather be controlled by Ansem right now than have to deal with YOU,_ he thought bitterly, shoving some pie into his mouth.

His Shadow whistled. "Whoo-boy! Don't let me catch you thinking like that often! The more you think thoughts like that the easier it will be for me to drag you into darkness!" He started laughing, quietly. "Though, I'm sure if you _really_ wanted Ansem to control you- well… no… _I_ could possess you, if you want."

_I don't want you anywhere NEAR my heart…_ Sora thought, frowning.

"You sure about that?" his Shadow asked. "I'm sure I'd be preferable compared to Ansem. He was a _creeper_. Like… just… ew. I mean, I appreciate the darkness he was feeding you, but… he was just… _creeper_."

The rant continued, but Sora tuned it out again.

"Hey!" the Shadow shouted.

Sora froze. Darkness suddenly roared up within his heart. He couldn't move.

And though he didn't see it, he could feel his Shadow smirk.

"Sora?" Cloud asked slowly. "Are you okay?"

_No…_ Sora's thoughts replied.

His mouth, however, seemed to have other ideas and replied: "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Ooh!" his Shadow laughed. "You liar! Liar! Shame on you!"

_You're the one who's-_

"Oh yes, I know I'm controlling you right now," the Shadow sighed. "I'm trying to be funny. Where's your sense of humor, huh?"

The darkness suddenly let go of him. Sora gasped.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Aerith asked.

"I- I think-" Sora stuttered.

"Is Sora _really_ too weak to handle a little bit of darkness controlling him?" the Shadow teased. "I mean, I knew you were weak, but I didn't realize you were-"

"Would you _shut up!_" Sora yelled, turning around in his chair to glare at his Shadow. Everyone glanced at him as if he was crazy, at which the Shadow burst out laughing. He doubled over with laughter, chains hitting the floor and disappearing.

"Dude! You just made a _fool_ of yourself!" he just barely managed to gasp through his laughter. "And here I was thinking just yesterday that I would rather, you know, actually _exist_ so other people could see me, but _damn_! I was so wrong! This is worth it! So worth it!"

"Is he crazy?" Yuffie asked.

Sora rubbed his head. "I am not crazy…" he said slowly. "He's there… I swear, there's someone actually there."

"And who would that be?" Aerith asked, her voice kind enough.

"My Shadow," Sora replied.

"You mentioned him once…" Cloud muttered, eyes slowly moving over to where the Shadow stood.

"Oh sure, now I've got Cloud with his darkness that can't be moved by _hell_ onto me. Save me! Someone please!" the Shadow turned to Sora, sarcasm glinting in his eyes. "Who am I kidding? He can't see me! And I don't need you and your mouth talking about me, so quit it!"

Aerith frowned, rising to her feet and gathering everyone's plates again. "I thought heard someone…" she muttered, heading to the kitchen. "Should I offer him pie?"

"No!" Sora said, just as his Shadow laughed: "I'll take it, but I doubt I would be able to eat it."

Sora glared at him.

"You can't eat?" Aerith asked.

The Shadow frowned. "Well, no, considering I don't technically-" he stopped, rather quickly. "Oh shit…" he whispered. "You can hear me, can't you?"

Aerith slowly frowned, too. "Yes," she replied. "And I don't like the fact that you're swearing."

At this, Sora's Shadow began laughing again. "And what exactly are you going to do about the fact that I'm swearing?" he asked, eyes daring her to try and do something.

"Who are you talking to?" Cid demanded. "No one's said anything!"

"She's talking to Sora's Shadow," Leon replied simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, I can't see him!" Yuffie whined.

"That's a good point…" Sora's Shadow muttered, frowning. "How can _you_ hear me?" He studied Aerith with interest. "I mean… no offense… you're a bit too… _bright_. You shouldn't be able to- I mean- _she _did… but…" his voice was grew quieter as he said this. "I thought that was because _she's_ connected to- and you're not _nearly_ close enough to-"

Sora frowned now, as he gathered quite the interesting amount of thoughts from his Shadow. The thought of Kairi flickered by again, followed by the beaches of home, followed by muffled conversation. These thoughts were quickly followed by memories from not long ago, when he was being controlled by the darkness, and then something he didn't recognize.

Rain.

And blood.

The image of Cloud, covered in blood, holding a sword covered in blood. It was the same sword he wielded now, but he was carrying it as if he wasn't sure what to do with it, and he looked a lot younger.

The image faded.

"I get it now…" the Shadow whispered, eyes widening. "Just enough dark memories… just enough that I can haunt you…" He slowly grinned.

Aerith glared at him (or, relatively at him. She couldn't see him… so…) in defiance.

The daring look entered his golden eyes again, and he said one word:

"Zack."


	51. Fighting the Darkness

yes, i'm using FF style (or at least FF7 style) blizzard. Y'know, where you have a block of ice form over your enemy's head and it falls on them. idk, i find it absolutely hilarious to watch.

* * *

><p>The daring look entered his golden eyes again, and he said one word:<p>

"Zack."

The air suddenly went tense. Aerith frowned and bit her lip, tears looking as if they were starting to form in her eyes.

"What did he say?" Yuffie demanded, glancing at Aerith, then over at Leon, as if she expected him to know. When Leon didn't respond, she turned to Sora. It was Aerith who replied:

"Zack," she whispered, voice cracking slightly.

Yuffie's eyes widened. "He didn't…" she gasped.

The grin on the Shadow's face grew.

"Leave her alone!" Sora shouted, rising to his feet.

The Shadow completely ignored Sora. "I'm surprised you're so worried about it…" he said slowly, eyes never leaving Aerith's face. "I mean, it's been forever, hasn't it? Nearly five years, huh? And yet it still kills you that he's-"

The sudden sound of a chair scraping against the floor, a blade being drawn, and Cloud was at the Shadow's throat. He raised his eyebrows, and turned to Cloud.

"Hmm… I suppose I should have thought about this more," he mused.

"You can see him?" Sora asked, slightly shocked. If Cloud couldn't, he'd be even more surprised though, because then Cloud was just _scary_ good.

"I can feel him…" Cloud replied, voice rough, as if he was trying to contain the rest of his anger.

And, of course, that didn't slip past Sora's Shadow at all.

"Oh my… Cloud's _angry_ isn't he? I can feel the anger rising up within him!" He grinned. "Would this be any other moment, I would totally be enjoying this, however… my life's at stake."

In a flash of darkness, he disappeared from under Cloud's blade. He did, however, reappear across the room.

"There," he sighed, taking a few deep breaths and closing his eyes. "Now I can enjoy it." His eyes flew open and met with Cloud's. "Go on," he taunted. "I'd like to see you try and fight me. For all I know, this could be the most fun I'll ever have in my entire existence."

Cloud's eyes narrowed, and he started forward.

Only to be blocked by Sora. Their blades clashed for a brief second, before Cloud pulled back. He frowned, looking confused.

"Damn! This is _good_," the Shadow laughed. "You're protecting me now, are you?"

Sora shook his head. "Never," he whispered. His gaze remained on Cloud though. "But I wouldn't let one of my friends get hurt because of you." He swallowed. "Cloud, you know what he's doing. You said it yourself: the darkness can convince you to do things, things you normally wouldn't do." He glanced over his shoulder at his Shadow, and then turned back to Cloud. "That's all he is. Darkness. And he's trying to get you to do something you're going to regret later."

"Not true!" the Shadow called. "I was only intending to have some fun, considering fighting you is- well… a joke, considering how weak you are. And what's life if you don't squeeze a little fun out of it?"

Sora ignored him.

Cloud shook his head. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "You're right."

"He's _right!_" the Shadow laughed. "Oh come on! Where's the fun in that? But- oh!" The nasty grin returned to his face. "I wonder what sort of fight I could pick out of you if Tifa was in danger. Considering you're acting _this_ bad when I was only bothering Aerith…"

Cloud took a step forward, blade bared again.

"I thought you're entire purpose in life was to bother _me!_" Sora shouted, turning around to glare at his Shadow. "Since when do you need to go around and mess up other people's lives?"

"Can't I have a little fun?" the Shadow replied, trying to sound innocent.

"Get out," Sora said, voice cold. "Just get out of here."

The Shadow sighed. "I'm liking that anger…" he whispered.

"OUT!" Sora commanded, baring his blade.

"It's a fight you want, then?" the Shadow asked, sounding amused. He drew his blade, and his chains fell into his awaiting hand. "You asked for it! Don't blame me when you get killed."

In a flash of darkness, both Sora and his Shadow were gone.

XXX

"Blizzard!" Sora shouted, before they had even completely materialized in the new area. A large chunk of ice formed above the Shadow's head and dropped. Thankfully, the Shadow wasn't paying enough attention to move out of the way and it hit him. Sora couldn't help but grin slightly.

His happiness was short lived, however. His Shadow, realizing that now magic was allowed in the game, quickly retaliated with some Dark Blizzaga. Sora quickly rolled out of the way, but it still hit him. And what it hit, it froze. It started simply at his hand, freezing his fingers to his blade, and then the ice started working its way up his arm.

And then the pain set it.

The ice was cold. So cold, that it burned. The darkness wasn't helping things either. He could see it in the ice, burning his skin in its own way that might have been more painful. However, his arm was starting to go numb, so pain was another story at the moment.

"Fira!" he breathed frantically, eyeing the ice as it made its way to his shoulder. What might have been the start of a fire spell formed at his frozen fingertips, but the ice prevented it from ever forming. If anything, the ice started moving faster, starting to freeze his blade, too.

He glanced up at his Shadow, who was standing there, just watching with sick amusement. He glanced back down at his frozen arm, and then placed his unfrozen hand on the ice.

"Fira!" he said desperately, before the ice could freeze that hand, too. Thankfully, the spell took effect, melting the ice off his arm. The darkness stayed, however, and he grimaced, knowing that there was nothing he could do about that.

And to make things worse, he could feel the darkness sapping at his energy.

_Must… keep fighting…_ he told himself, staggering to his feet again.

"You can't give up now!" his Shadow called. "We just got started here!"

"I wasn't planning- on giving up," Sora gasped, rushing forward, striking. He only managed to land a blow or two, before his Shadow blocked and knocked him back, sending some Dark Thundaga after him.

Sora managed to avoid the Dark Thundaga and turned. Using the technique Yuffie had taught him, he charged up his Keyblade with fire and then leaned back, tossing it. It spun through the air, hit his Shadow a time or two, and then came flying back to him. He caught it, the fire fizzling out.

"I guess that training really did pay off," the Shadow laughed. "Who'd have thought that little baby wimpy Sora could actually get _stronger?_"

"I am not a baby!" Sora screamed, running forward, bringing his blade crashing down. His Shadow blocked it with ease, and then kicked Sora in the gut, sending him flying. His blade spun out of his reach.

Sora lay there for a moment, gritting his teeth, regaining his strength. Finally, he pushed himself up. The Shadow seemed to be waiting for this, and sent out a few bolts of Dark Thundaga. Sora quickly rolled out of the way, in the process putting himself further away from his Keyblade. He turned to his Shadow, who struck with his chains, catching Sora by the wrist.

Sora cast a glare at the Shadow. The Shadow merely grinned, and tugged.

Sora stumbled forward, but then dug in his feet, making sure he wouldn't get dragged any further. He then grabbed onto the chains and slowly pulled, trying to catch the Shadow off balance.

"Oh no you don't!" the Shadow shouted, sending Dark Firaga down the length of his chains. The fire slowly began burning Sora's hands, but he refused to let go, despite the pain. He pulled harder.

The Shadow's eyes narrowed, no longer amused. He yanked his chains out of Sora's grasp. Sora winced, feeling the chains slice his fingers open. The darkness that was still clinging to his arm quickly made its way to the wounds, festering around them.

"Fira!" he shouted, aiming at his Shadow. At the moment, his Shadow was too busy dragging his chains back to him to block, and was hit. While he was distracted, Sora quickly summoned his Keyblade back to him. He winced slightly, but bit his lip to avoid screaming. The darkness, open wounds, and slight burns made holding his blade difficult.

"You know, I'm begging to wonder why Kairi likes you," the Shadow taunted. He had his chains in their constant twirl again, and his blade hung loosely at his side. "Considering you're so weak."

Sora rushed forward, doing his best to ignore the taunt. If he let it get to him, he would only get angry, and if he got angry, his Shadow would get stronger.

And he couldn't have that.


	52. Farewell Melody

hmm... I hadn't expected THIS to come so soon

* * *

><p>He brought his blade crashing down, but the Shadow took a step back, having it miss him, but only barely. The Shadow swung his own blade, hitting Sora on the side, and while Sora was reeling from that blow performed a combo. He followed up the combo with a few bolts of Dark Thundaga, all of which hit. He laughed.<p>

"Shut. Up." Sora hissed, striking.

The Shadow laughed again, side-stepped out of the way, and then casually stuck his foot out, causing Sora to trip as he turned.

Sora fell to his knees, Keyblade falling from his grasp again. He quickly picked it back up, struggling to get his hurting fingers to close properly.

The Shadow grinned, dropped his chains, and slowly clenched his hand into a fist.

Sora gasped, back arching in pain as the darkness suddenly lashed out within his heart. He did his best not to scream, but didn't succeed. The Shadow watched with amusement, as Sora continued to scream. He banished his blade, and casually motioned with his hand, causing a few tendrils of darkness to lash out.

_Can't… move…_ Sora thought in horror, as the dark tendrils slowly snaked their way around him. He couldn't even stop screaming.

"Pathetic!" his Shadow taunted. "You don't even deserve Kairi!"

Sora's eyes widened in shock, and his scream slowly stopped. The darkness released him just enough that he fell forward, hand closing around his blade. He ignored the pain.

_Kairi!_ His thoughts screamed.

_What does my Shadow know of Kairi?_

He turned, slowly, throwing a glare at his Shadow that could have killed. He staggered to his feet, blade bared.

_He's probably just saying that to tick me off._

_ Well it worked._

"Congratulations," he said, his voice rough, as he lunged forward.

His eyes met with his Shadow's, anger within them. The Shadow returned the anger, but with a bit of cockiness thrown in.

And then… fear.

Sora brought his blade crashing down-

-through nothing. He glanced around, finding himself in Leon's Headquarters, everyone staring at him in shock. His blade slowly fell from his hands and to the ground. It vanished after a moment, but he was too busy examining his hand to notice. His fingers were covered in blood, and there were also a few slashes on his wrist.

"Sora!" Aerith gasped, rushing over, examining his hand. Or, starting to, Sora batted her away.

"Cura," he whispered, cursing himself for not thinking of it earlier. His fingers stopped hurting, and slowly stopped bleeding, too. He quickly fished around in his pocket for his star shard and pulled it out.

"I'm leaving," he muttered, starting to activate his star shard.

"And what are you doin' that for?" Cid shouted, stopping him. He turned to Cid, slightly shocked. He had expected _someone_ to protest his departure, but he hadn't been expecting Cid.

Though, he would have been more surprised if it had been Yuffie.

He swallowed.

_I know exactly why I'm leaving. I don't want my Shadow hurting anyone. He may not have yet, but I have a feeling that he will, if I let him._

_ So I'm leaving._

_ If I'm not around, he's less likely going to come here._

"I don't want-" he began, but for some reason, just couldn't get the rest out.

"Sora," Aerith said sternly. "At least let me see your hand first."

He turned to her, and sighed, but tossed his star shard to his other hand so Aerith could examine his hurt one. She grimaced.

"It got infected with darkness…" she muttered. "I may not be able to do much."

Sora shrugged. "I'm fine. It doesn't hurt much." He was silent for a moment. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Aerith replied, sounding confused.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" he clarified.

"Your Shadow?" Aerith asked, and then laughed. "Oh no, I'm fine."

She sounded fine, and she smiled. But her eyes betrayed her. Her eyes said very plainly that she _wasn't_ fine.

_Well… if she doesn't want to talk about it, it's not my place to pry,_ Sora thought, as she continued tending to his wounds.

_Still… I wonder what he did to her. It had to be more than a few stupid taunts…_

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Aerith laughed again. "Don't be," she told him, and then muttered a healing spell. Light surrounded Sora's hand, and then his entire arm. What traces of darkness that were still clinging onto him were banished. His burns healed, and the cuts slowly closed, though not entirely.

Aerith raised her eyebrows, slightly surprised. "That worked better than I thought it would," she mused. "Darkness is usually harder to treat."

"Thanks," Sora muttered.

"Are you sure you want to leave?" Aerith asked.

Sora nodded.

"Why?" Yuffie whined. "We like having you here!"

"Yeah, kid!" Cid agreed. "And you're not that bad in battle, either! Plus, I've never seen someone enjoy my soup so much. You can't leave!"

Sora swallowed. "But I- I don't want-" he paused, frowned, and then swallowed again. "I don't want anyone getting hurt," he said quietly. "I don't want my Shadow hurting anyone else. He's already done enough damage. He'll just do more if I stick around." He clutched his star shard tightly.

"I still don't get what he's talking about," Yuffie muttered, crossing her arms and pouting.

Leon rolled his eyes. He had explained it quite a few times already, and didn't want to explain it again. He turned to Sora. "I'll have to admit, it's nice having someone else around who doesn't complain all the time," he said. "Makes these two easier to deal with."

He nodded over at Cid and Yuffie, who both shouted: "Hey!" at the same time, and then turned to glare at each other.

Sora laughed slightly.

"You sure you want to do this?" Cloud asked. "This isn't your Shadow trying to-"

Sora quickly shook his head. "This is my choice," he said.

Cloud slowly nodded.

"So… you're really leaving?" Aerith asked. Sora nodded again, and smiled. Aerith sighed. "Alright," she said. "But you better come back sometime, okay? We'll miss you."

"I'll miss you guys, too," Sora said.

_Oh gosh,_ he thought. _I'm not going to cry. I can't seriously be crying!_

_I've only been here a week or so!_

_And yet here I am, crying at the thought of leaving them._

_But… I'm leaving to protect them._

_My Shadow's just going to hurt them if I stay here._

_ THIS is why I don't want to go home. My Shadow would hurt Kairi, too._

Sora sighed, and shook his head, clearing it of those thoughts. He took one last look around the room. Yuffie was still pouting, and Leon was again trying to explain the whole thing concerning Sora's Shadow to her. Cid was examining his mug as if he wanted more to drink, but then glanced up at Sora and grinned. Aerith smiled her soft smile and waved slightly. Cloud didn't do anything but stare at Sora with his intense gaze.

"Bye," Sora whispered, activating his star shard. Everything faded to white.


	53. A Cup of Tea

yeah, it's a chapter early. but I won't have a free space for another three chapters, so...

SPECIAL CHAPTER TIME!

i know this is a change of pace to what you're used to. Don't worry, we'll get back to your regularly scheduled programming next update. And if you are not satisfied with this as your special chapter, I completely understand. It may be a tad _too_ different, and that's fine. If you would rather something a smidge less different, just let me know, I'll go ahead and write something else for your special chapter  
>BUT!<br>PLEASE! do not just say you don't like this chapter to get a second special chapter. that's cheating.

* * *

><p>"Hello there, miss!" came a very kind voice. "Would you like a cup of tea?"<p>

The girl frowned. It had been a while since she had been offered a cup of tea. She cocked her head to the side, noticing who had offered her the cup of tea. It was… Vexen? No, a Replica. She could just tell.

"One second, please," she said politely. She pulled a note book and a pen out of her pocket and started scribbling things down. This was how she thought; by writing crap and drawing random things. At least, that's how she figured out what Realm she had ended up in. It just helped.

"So… I seem to be in Castle Oblivion…" she muttered, drawing a doodle of the Castle. "But… it smells different… and feels different. A bit closer to home, actually. Maybe a bit _too_ close to home…" She glanced up, taking note of all the Replicas that were in the room. "Vexen's not the only one around here… and it actually looks a bit different than I remember Castle Oblivion to look…" She scribbled another doodle of Castle Oblivion, with an arrow pointing from the first one. "In a parallel universe, maybe?" she wondered. "But which- oh!" Her eyes widened in excitement. "I'm _here!_" She quickly tore the page out of the notebook and tore it to shreds, stuffing some of the shreds in her mouth and chewing them before she spat them out into her hand. Taking the wad of wet shreds and the dry shreds she crumpled them together in a ball and then chucked it across the room before turning to the Vexen Replica.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "I would absolutely _love_ a cup of tea!"

"This way, then!" the Vexen Replica said, escorting her off.

"May I ask what number you are?" she said as he sat her down at a table.

"6!" he replied, all too happily.

Her smile faltered, and she took the cup of tea she was given warily. Now she was slightly suspicious. She wasn't expecting poison or anything… but… she _knew_ 6 was insane. She had heard enough about him to-

She shook her head and then reached over, hand passing between the fabric of the dimension. After groping around for a second, her hand closed on the sleeve of someone's shirt.

"Get over here!" she called, tugging the person through.

Said person had brown hair and bright green eyes that seemed to be permanently formed into a scowl.

"What do you _want_?" he whined.

"I thought you would like a cup of tea, my dear friend Edd!" she replied happily, forcing him into a nearby chair.

Edd groaned. "I'm sick of tea…" he muttered, as 6 handed him a cup. 6 however, did not seem to hear his comment.

"I don't want to be alone with 6!" the girl hissed.

Edd rolled his eyes. "So you dragged _me_ over?"

"Sure," the girl shrugged.

A boy with shaggy black hair and steel blue eyes walked over, looking very confused. He glanced between the girl and Edd, looking very sorry for them after a moment.

"I am extremely sorry," he said. "What World did 6 drag you from? I will get you back there immediately."

"Oh, no worries!" the girl laughed. "I found my way here myself."

"She dragged me over…" Edd muttered.

"Okay then!" the boy laughed. "My name's Joseph! Who are you?"

"No one of importance!" the girl replied with a grin. "That's Edd! I thought he would like to join us in a cup of tea. At least he would have some company."

Edd groaned and rubbed his head. "Hi Joseph…" he muttered.

"What's your name, though?" Joseph asked the girl, completely ignoring Edd.

"I can't tell you," the girl shrugged. "You would have about three different organizations, a few bounty hunters, and half of Spain after you. I wouldn't want to put you through that."

Joseph frowned, looking very confused. After a moment though, he just decided to go with this weirdness. "So that means I can't ask where you came from either, or how you got here?" he asked.

"Bingo!" the girl said with a grin.

"Well okay then," Joseph muttered. "Would you like some ice cream? I can go get you some."

"No thank you," the girl replied.

"I'll just be on my way then!" Joseph laughed, walking off.

"You should have taken his offer on the ice cream," Edd sighed.

"Be quiet!" the girl snapped, taking a sip of her tea. "Stop trying to be my conscious or I will send you back to your corner. I'm doing you a favor by dragging you over here."

Edd rolled his eyes.

"Would you like some more tea?" 6 asked, suddenly reminding everyone of his presence.

"Oh, not right now," the girl told him with a smile. "We're not done yet."

"Who are you!" came a rather demanding voice.

The girl turned and almost did a spit take. Of all people, she had not considered the fact that she would run into him. It was Riku! Riku! Of all people!

Well… wait… no…

The Riku Replica.

_Must not… say anything…_ the girl told herself, closing her eyes. _Can't freak him out. Can't freak him out!_

"Oh this is going to be good," Edd mused, leaning back in his chair.

"What are you doing here?" Riku demanded, walking over.

"Now be nice," someone else scolded.

The girl opened her eyes, unable to believe her ears. It was Namine.

_Well… I shouldn't be surprised… I am in THIS universe, after all._

"Who are you!" Riku demanded, yet again.

"I can't tell you," the girl replied just as Edd said about the same thing. She glanced over at him and rolled her eyes. "And don't give me that look!" she exclaimed, turning back to Riku, who was giving her that look. "I honestly can't tell you!"

"Why not?" he asked.

"If I told you-" the girl began, and then paused, reconsidering that statement. "I'd put Namine in danger if I told you," she said finally, a wicked grin threatening to show on her face, though she pushed it back down.

Riku's face softened, and the girl watched him with eyebrows raised. After a moment, she realized something and turned to Namine.

"No offense, Namine," she said politely. "However, it was the only thing I could tell him that he would actually listen to. I don't think he would listen if I told him that half of Spain would be after him. I don't think he'd care."

Namine laughed.

"Hang on…" Riku said slowly. "How do you know her name?" The glare was returning to his face, and the girl winced.

"Right…" she whispered to herself. "We hadn't introduced ourselves completely yet… my bad…"

"She knows me," Edd said.

The girl turned to him, shocked. However, Riku seemed to take this as a valid explanation.

"It's you!" he said after staring at Edd for a moment. "You're that stranger! I wondered if I would ever see you again… Do you realize just how much I want to thank you?"

Edd was rubbing his temples. "Yes…" he replied slowly. "You're thoughts are screaming it, trust me. Now calm down before you give me a headache. And, yes, by the way, I _can_ read minds." He turned to glare at the girl. "_This_ is why I liked staying in my corner!" he hissed. "I didn't get headaches there!"

The girl frowned. "Sorry…" she muttered. She turned back to Namine and Riku. "So! How's life been for you two? I wasn't sure if Edd's plan worked out or not."

The grin that grew on Riku's face was absolutely adorable, and the girl had to bite her tongue to prevent herself from squealing.

_Not a good time to be a fangirl!_ she scolded herself.

Edd rolled his eyes.

"I think it worked out just fine," Riku said, glancing at Namine.

"I second that," Namine whispered.

"I'm leaving!" Edd exclaimed suddenly. "This is just-"

"They haven't said anything…" the girl whispered.

"Oh but they're thinking it!" Edd replied bitterly. In a rush of cold wind, he was gone.

_Thinking what exactly, I wonder?_ the girl thought.

"Great, just when I absolutely _needed _to ask him something," she sighed, glaring at the spot that Edd and once occupied.

"What do you need to ask?" Namine asked.

The girl shook her head. "I can't ask you. I don't want to ruin anything. Where's Joseph? I suppose I could ask him…"

Riku frowned, but after getting a pointed glare from Namine, opened his mouth to call for Joseph.

The girl shook her head. "No worries, I've got it covered!" she laughed, and then reached off to the side, hand slipping through the fabric of the dimension again. After a second she grabbed onto the collar of Joseph's shirt and dragged him through.

"What just-" Joseph began, and then a grin grew on his face. "Can I do that again? That was _fun!_"

"Maybe later," the girl told him. "I have to ask you something." She turned to Riku and Namine. "Plug your ears and sing songs please! You can't hear this!"

They both returned that comment by staring at her as if she was insane. The girl rolled her eyes. "Go to another room then! This is terribly important that you don't hear!"

Riku raised his eyebrows.

The girl sighed. "Nevermind…" she sighed, standing up and pulling Joseph off to the side. She glanced over at Riku and Namine, and then turned back to Joseph. They couldn't quite hear what she said, but Joseph's reaction was rather surprising.

"What!" he exclaimed, rather loudly. "No! They haven't-"

The girl quickly covered his mouth before he got anymore of that sentence out. "Me and my big mouth…" she muttered. "I should have asked someone else. Listen, Joseph, you can't say _anything_ about that, promise?"

Joseph nodded.

"Good," the girl said. "Cause if not, I will stick you between two dimensions, and it's definitely _not_ fun after an hour."

Joseph nodded again.

"Right!" the girl exclaimed, letting go of him. "I need to go then! Me and my big mouth might let something else slip if I'm here to long. Riku, can you open a dark corridor for me? I don't care where to."

"I got it," Namine sighed, forming a dark corridor. Riku was too busy standing there gaping and confused.

"Thanks!" the girl laughed, skipping through.

And they never saw her again.


	54. Hyena scratch

lot to cover here!

for starters, a couple chapters ago, when Aerith said the "darkness typically scars" thing; it should have said "darkness usually takes more effort to heal" or something, i don't remember the exact wording. I thought I had changed that before uploading it, but apparently not.

and, about the girl, no she is _not_ from forevermagik13's universe. She's my character. the reason behind the "close to home line" was that she was in MY fanfic and her home is somewhere in the depths of MY brain (can't give you much information on where. I don't know much myself) so therefore, since my fanfic also takes somewhere in the depths of my brain, she was a bit closer to home than she's used to.  
>and if you REALLY want to read more about her, go check out my fanfic "Alice and the Doctor" she's in the last two chapters. Don't bother reading the rest of the fic, it's crap and I'm not going to finish it.<p>

* * *

><p>"Has 19 complained to <em>you<em> about 23?" Riku asked, as he sat down on the couch next to Namine. "Or was that just me?"

Namine frowned. "Well…" she replied slowly. "He hasn't _complained_, but I thought I heard the two of them arguing earlier. Though… I wasn't exactly sure if it was them… I still can't distinguish them by voice only."

Riku laughed. Namine turned to him, slightly confused, but she couldn't help but smile.

"Sorry," he said. "But… I can hardly tell them apart just by their voices. I mean, there are a few who I know, just because they're _obvious_ or because I spend time with them the most but-" he laughed again. "Honestly, if it isn't 29, 19, 2, or the original Vexen, your guess is as good as mine."

Namine laughed.

However, that reminded her, she still hadn't asked Riku about his attitude to the original Vexen. Or, the Vexen from the parallel universe, technically. She wondered briefly if Riku only called him the original because to him, that's what he was. However, it didn't really matter.

"I wonder what 23's problem is, anyways…" Riku muttered. "It sounds like he's been complaining for a while, from the way 19 put it."

But… maybe now wasn't the right time to ask.

Besides, she had a nagging feeling that there was something else she wanted to ask Riku, and it was important. She just… couldn't remember what.

She decided it wasn't worth it, and just went back to focusing on the conversation.

"Maybe you could talk to him," she suggested. Riku only laughed again.

"Please," he said. "I don't care _that_ much. If it becomes an issue, though…" he trailed off, and then just shrugged.

"At least 19's helpful," Namine said. "Finding all that research for us. Even if the research _itself_ wasn't helpful-"

Riku rolled his eyes at this and groaned slightly.

"At least he's trying…" Namine finished quietly.

Riku was silent for a moment, thinking about that. "Yeah," he said finally. "You're right. He seems to be doing more around here than anyone else, when it comes to researching your meltdowns."

Namine frowned, noting a touch of bitterness in his voice as he said this.

"I'm sure if you asked, plenty of people would help," she said.

He sighed. "Maybe…" he whispered, slowly turning away.

Namine raised her eyebrows, noticing something. "Riku," she laughed. "Look at me." Her voice was stern, but still kind.

Riku frowned, confused, but turned back to her.

"What's this?" she asked him, reaching out and running her fingers over the scratch on his cheek.

He was silent for a second, trying to come up with a coherent response to that. It was hard, as his thoughts refused to stray from where they currently were. And his thoughts were currently focused on his pounding heart and the feel of her hand on his cheek. Her touch was warm, and soft, and gentle.

A smile played on his lips.

_I wonder if her thoughts ever get all crazy like this…_ he couldn't help but think.

_It would be such a weird question to ask._

_Let alone stupid…_

He quickly pulled his thoughts back to forming an answer, though struggled slightly in doing so. Finally, all he managed to reply was:

"Well I- what?"

Namine laughed. "There's a scratch on your cheek," she told him simply.

"Still?" he asked, finally forming a coherent thought. That scratch had had _weeks_ to heal. He was quite shocked that it hadn't. "That's weird," he said. "That should have healed a while ago."

She shrugged. "I'm more surprised that I _just now_ noticed it."

She ran her fingers over the scratch again, and Riku tried as hard as he possibly could to keep his thoughts from going crazy again. He did his best to try and figure out _why_ the scratch was still there, instead. However, it was hard to think about for some reason.

"I just…" he said after a moment. "I don't understand…"

"It probably got infected," Joseph said, coming from seemingly nowhere. "Y'know, with darkness. Darkness _always_ scars. Especially if you don't bother to treat it properly."

Namine raised her eyebrows. "Darkness…?" she asked slowly.

Joseph stifled some laughter at the look Namine was giving Riku. It was an odd mix of concern, anger, and confusion. Riku gave her nothing more than a helpless look back, as if unsure if what to say in response.

"Well," Joseph continued, figuring he'd respond for Riku. "Considering what got him-"

His plans to help Riku were quickly foiled as Riku shot a deadly glare at him. He swallowed the rest of that sentence.

Namine frowned.

Riku sighed.

"Sora… got me…" he muttered, turning away. "We were fighting a couple of hyenas, and his darkness got out of control. I tried to make sure no one got hurt, but… well… I did…"

Namine raised her eyebrows at the "hyenas" part, but didn't press that issue. There were more important things at hand than wondering where in the Worlds Sora and Riku had been that had hyenas.

"Sora apologized, right?" she asked instead.

"He doesn't know," Riku whispered. "I don't think he remembers what happened, and I didn't bother to tell him. I didn't think-"

"Hey," Namine laughed, interrupting him. She gently turned his face so he was looking at her again. "Don't blame yourself, alright?"

"But I-" Riku began.

Namine stopped him again. "Just don't," she said.

Riku slowly smiled.

"Oh please," Joseph moaned. "You two aren't gonna-"

"Going to what?" they replied simultaneously, both confused.

Joseph stared at them in shock. There was silence for a moment, as they tried to figure out what he meant, and he tried to decide what to think of them. Finally, he just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm just gonna leave you two alone…" he muttered, starting off. He paused after a few steps though, turning back to them with a wicked grin on his face. "Though, Riku, that _probably_ wouldn't have scarred if you had used the Repair Program." He laughed maniacally and ran off before Riku could get too angry.

"Really?" Riku called after him.

Namine's eyes widened in shock, remembering what it had been that she had been meaning to ask Riku. "Repair Program?" she asked, pulling her hand away from Riku's face. "What's-"

Her sentence was cut short as a scythe was brought swinging down, just narrowly missing them as it embedded itself into the couch right between them. They sat there for a moment, eyeing the scythe in shock.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked after a moment, turning to Namine.

She nodded. "You?"

He nodded and then turned, quickly locating the Marluxia Replica that the scythe belonged to. It was Tulip.

"Hey!" he shouted. "That nearly hit us!"

"I am so sorry, sir!" Tulip said quickly, summoning his scythe back to him. "I'm having trouble with the-"

His sentence was cut short by the sound of a few opening dark corridors. Both he and Riku groaned, as 37 and the usual set of Replicas that were sent with him emerged. There was, however, a distinct lack of Larxene Replicas. Namine sighed and formed a dark corridor, heading to her room before anyone saw her.


	55. The Nasty Scythe Wound

HEY! alright you guys, I found a place where I can make a website for this fic! I know that is completely utterly random, but I have been wanting to. However, I want your guys' opinion before I get much farther in working on it. Do you want it to be sorta like a wiki, that contains all the information you want to know about the fic. Or would you like it to be a bit more like a blog, where I sorta just give my thoughts on the fic and how it's written, music for it, yata yata all that random stuff. I could do either (the wiki with a lot of fiddling, but I do have that figured out), however, a blog seems easier to manage and a bit more fun to write, except that I think a wiki would be fun to write too, and I'm excited that I've figured out how to do that...  
>so, you're opinions please!<br>thanks

* * *

><p>Namine glanced up in shock as a dark corridor opened in front of her. She quickly reached out form a dark corridor of her own, so she could run if she had to. However, she didn't need to, it was only Joseph.<p>

"Sorry!" he exclaimed. "I suppose I should have used the door instead, but I wasn't really thinking about it. It just made sense in my head to-"

"Joseph," Namine laughed. "You're rambling. It's fine!" She lowered her hand, the start of her dark corridor fizzling out of existence. Joseph laughed, too, closing his dark corridor.

"I got you ice cream!" he said, handing her an ice cream. She smiled and took it.

"They didn't want you fighting, did they?" she asked.

He sighed. "Nope. But I figured we could sorta hang out…" He shrugged, taking a bite of his ice cream. "I don't see why they don't want me fighting, though, I make a _great_ distraction." He then turned to her and grinned, pulling his wooden sword from his belt and swinging it around a bit. "And maybe I'll be able to actually fight one day! I just… need to practice…" he trailed off, and put his sword away.

Namine chuckled. "I bet you'd be an excellent fighter if you put your mind to it," she told him. "Maybe you'd be better than Riku."

Joseph burst out laughing at that. "I _doubt_ it. Riku's amazing! I don't think _anyone_ could be better than him."

Namine laughed, too. Joseph had a point. Riku _was_ an amazing fighter. She took a bite of her ice cream, and they just sat there for a bit, each happily enjoying their ice cream.

"Hey Joseph," Namine said after a moment. "I've been meaning to ask Riku about this, but I suppose I can ask you…"

"Mmm?" Joseph's mouth was to full of ice cream to properly answer.

"What exactly is the Repair Program?" Namine asked.

Joseph raised his eyebrows, and motioned for her to wait until he swallowed. She laughed slightly, but waited patiently.

"The Repair Program," Joseph began, eyeing his almost gone ice cream. "Is pretty self-explanatory. It's a program that Repairs a broken Replica." He paused a second to eat the rest of his ice cream, and then continued: "So if you get hurt or injured in any way, you can use the Repair Program to just fix the injury, so it's like the injury never happened."

"And… Riku doesn't use it?" Namine asked slowly.

Joseph nodded.

"Why?"

"I have no clue!" Joseph replied. "You should ask him that. Maybe he'll tell you."

Namine laughed. She quickly swallowed her laughter though and asked her next question: "But if he had used it, it would have prevented the scratches from scarring?"

Joseph shrugged. "Probably," he said. "Because, theoretically, you could extract the data that was infected and replace it with new data. However, there is still a chance of scarring when you use the Repair Program. It depends on how bad the wound is, and how the old data responds to the new data…" He shrugged again, indicating that he didn't know much more on the subject.

Someone knocked, and the door opened a crack.

"Yeah?" Namine called.

"Oh, you are in here," Riku said, opening the door the rest of the way and walking in. "I wasn't sure…" He eyed Joseph suspiciously, but said nothing for a moment. He turned to Namine. "This might not have been the safest place for you to go…" he muttered.

"Relax, Riku!" Joseph laughed. "I was here!"

Riku responded by giving him a look that clearly stated this didn't make him feel any better. He decided to humor Joseph, though, and asked: "And just what would you have done if someone showed up to kidnap her?"

"I would have whacked them repetitively with my sword. And while they were distracted, she could get away," Joseph replied simply, grinning. "I make a great distraction!"

"And if there was more than one?" Riku continued.

Joseph laughed. "Pirates!" he said simply.

Namine raised eyebrows, curious as to just what they were talking about.

"They still got you, though," Riku pointed out.

Joseph rolled his eyes. "There were ten of them! I doubt Saix is going to send ten people to come kidnap her." He grinned again. "Besides, I kept all ten of those pirates occupied while you and Sora got away."

Riku frowned, but didn't reply.

Namine, who had used this time to finish her ice cream, glanced down at the ice cream stick, and found that it said WINNER in big bold letters.

"Hey Joseph," she said. "I got a WINNER stick. Do you want it?"

Joseph shook his head and smiled. "You keep it," he told her. "I'll be alright." He glanced between Namine and Riku, and then grinned. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go get my journal back from 29. You two have fun now!" And with that, he ran off.

They watched him go, unsure of just what to make of that.

"This raid went quicker than usual," Namine noted after a moment.

Riku nodded. "Axel showed up," he explained. "Helped us get rid of 37. Again. I wish he had shown up sooner though, I might have avoided this nasty scythe wound…" He glanced down at his arm, and grimaced. "But… he's still got a reputation to keep and all…"

Namine stopped listening after that. Her attention was firmly fixed on his arm. The 'nasty scythe wound' he was referring to was a large gash running down about half the length of his arm, starting near his shoulder and ending just past his elbow. He clutched the wound tightly, as if trying to prevent it from bleeding, though it wasn't working at all.

_How did I NOT notice that?_ her thoughts screamed. _He's been standing here for a good five minutes!_

"Riku!" she gasped in shock and disbelief. "Why didn't you mention that sooner!"

He shrugged. "I wasn't really thinking about it…" he muttered. "I'm more surprised you didn't notice."

"Me too," Namine sighed. "Shouldn't you-"

"They haven't roped you into it too, have they!" Riku asked exasperatedly before she could even finish.

Namine stopped, taken aback, but then laughed. "Roped me into what?

"Trying to convince me to use the Repair Program…" Riku finished, sounding rather embarrassed now. He sighed.

"No, I wasn't going to," Namine assured him. "Do you want me to bandage that?"

Riku shook his head. "Nah," he said. "I'll be al-" he paused rather suddenly and was silent for a moment. "Actually…" he whispered. "Yeah, if you- if you wouldn't mind."

Namine laughed. "Of course I don't mind," she said, rising to her feet and going over to examine the wound. She carefully pulled his hand away from the wound, grimacing slightly at all of the blood.

"You really need to be more careful," she sighed, forcing him to sit down.

He shrugged. "He was aiming for my head, I think I made it out okay," he said, grinning.

Namine rolled her eyes. "Where are the bandages?" she asked.

"Here, I'll go get them," he replied, starting to get up.

"Sit down!" Namine told him firmly. Riku laughed and slowly sat back down.

"Okay then," he said, laughing again. "Do you want to know where they are?"

"I'd rather not leave you alone…" she replied slowly.

He nodded. "Just stick your head out the door and ask the nearest Vexen Replica, I suppose. They're bound to help you if you ask."

Namine sighed and headed over to the door. She opened it, and was surprised to find Vexen standing there, taking notes. He glanced up at her, but said nothing and quickly went back to scribbling frantically in his notebook.

"Riku…" Namine said slowly, turning around. "Vexen's out here taking notes."

Riku groaned. "Tell him to go away!" he called.

Namine raised her eyebrows, but turned back to Vexen to ask him politely to do so. Vexen was glaring at her. Or rather, glaring _past_ her and at Riku.

"I do not take orders from him," Vexen said simply, before Namine could say anything.

"Are you trying to say that I should still be taking orders from you!" Riku shouted. "What are you doing anyways?"

"Research," Vexen replied.

Namine opened her mouth to say something, but Vexen continued talking.

Or, he tried to continue talking, Riku interrupted him.

"Researching _what_ exactly?" he asked.

Vexen slowly scowled. "You know it is very impolite to interrupt," he muttered.

"And just what are you going to do about me being impolite?" Riku replied, raising his eyebrows.

Namine rubbed her head as the two continued arguing. She had not been expecting this, nor did she _really_ have time for it. Riku had a wound that needed to be bandaged. And if Riku was arguing with Vexen-

She sighed.

"Could you two… stop arguing?" she asked after a moment. To her surprise, they actually listened. Riku stopped immediately mid-shout and quieted instantly. Vexen continued talking for a second, but slowly quieted, too.

Namine turned to Riku. "Just tell me where the bandages are," she sighed. "I'll go get them."

"Oh, they're right next door, in my room," he said, as if it was obvious. "They should be on my desk."

"Really?" she exclaimed in shock. "The way you said- it sounded like-" she sighed. "If I had known they were _that_ close I would have just gotten them sooner…" she muttered, and then shook her head. "Nevermind. I'm going to go get them _now_. Riku, don't move that arm too much. You-" She turned to Vexen, and then paused, frowning. "Make sure he doesn't… do anything…"

"Like he's going to listen to me…" Vexen replied, a touch of bitterness in his voice.

"Please, just… just try, I guess," Namine told him as she slipped past him to get to Riku's room.


	56. A Cry from the Heart

heheh... you guys are gonna kill me...

* * *

><p>"So what exactly is your-" Namine paused. That question would have continued with the word "problem" and she didn't want to ask him that. That would be rude. She frowned, trying to figure out how to word that sentence as she continued to bandage Riku's arm.<p>

"Hmm?" he asked after a moment, realizing she wasn't going to continue.

"What's with you and Vexen?" she asked finally. "You two don't seem to get along."

Riku sighed. "He's still trying to boss me around, which I'm not going to listen to. This isn't forever ago, when I _had_ to listen to him," He winced slightly and Namine quickly apologized and pulled her hands away from the wound for a second.

He swallowed, and then continued: "To top that off, he's always trying to figure out what happened to me after I ended up here, which he really doesn't need to know," he sighed again. "And… I suppose…" His voice slowly got quieter. "Maybe some of it is just built up annoyance from the past."

Namine didn't say anything for a moment, knowing that Riku's past was a touchy subject. So, instead, she focused on bandaging the wound. Riku said nothing more either, and cooperated rather nicely as she finished with the bandage.

_It's funny… _she couldn't help but think. _He used to complain about this._

_I wonder what's changed…_

She decided she wouldn't wonder now, though, as she finished bandaging the wound. There was something else she needed to ask Riku.

"So… why don't you use the Repair Program?" she asked.

He was silent for a second, thinking about that. He had never really thought about it much. In his head, he just… didn't _need_ to. All the wounds he got were relatively minor, compared to wounds he had gotten previously. And all _those_ wounds healed just fine without the help of the Repair Program, why wouldn't _these?_

But… there was something more to it than that.

And just how was he supposed to explain it to Namine?

"Well… I-" he began, and then paused, glancing at the newly bandaged wound, and slowly smiled. He knew what his answer was. "Why would I want to?" he replied after a moment, looking up at her and grinning.

She finished tying the bandage and then glanced up at him. Slowly, she smiled back, and their eyes met.

Riku's heart started pounding, realizing just how close they were. Their faces were only inches apart.

Suddenly, Namine turned away.

Riku sat there for a second, surprised and confused. And… disappointed…? He frowned, not quite understanding what he was feeling. He shook his head, pushing those thoughts aside.

"Thanks," he said. "For bandaging-"

"It was nothing," Namine said quickly.

A bit of awkward silence passed. Riku shifted uncomfortably. Namine tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"So… umm… about the pirates?" she asked, turning to Riku.

XXX

Sora hit the ground with a thud. "Ugh…" he groaned. "Talk about a rough transit… this is what I get for not focusing."

Though, after leaving like that, he was surprised the transit hadn't been too terrible. It could have been worse. There was only a dull buzz in his ears, nothing more. He found his star shard laying about three inches from his face and quickly grabbed it.

He slowly pushed himself up, and raised his eyebrows in shock, noticing something in the grass. Something he probably wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't have landed in the world flat on his face. There was a rather plain looking sketchbook in the bushes.

_Funny…_ he thought, grabbing it. _This looks just like Namine's._

_Didn't she say she lost her sketchbook?_

_Dropped it in some world while… umm… that one Vexen Replica was chasing her._

Sora frowned and glanced off to the side at some grass, as if it would tell him the answer to his question. It, however, did not. And, for the life of him, he couldn't remember the number of the Vexen Replica.

"Oh well," he sighed, and then returned his attention to the sketchbook. He flipped through a couple pages, and then laughed.

All of the pictures were of Riku.

"Yup, definitely Namine's," he sighed.

He stopped on one picture though, and his heart felt like it tore itself in two. This picture _wasn't _of Riku. It was of him and Kairi. He was falling backwards into a sea of darkness, hand outstretched, trying to grab onto something. And Kairi stood above him, in the light, trying to catch him as he fell.

He swallowed, trying to hold back tears, but to no avail.

_"If you ever want to talk, just let me know, alright?" _she had said.

"_Sora? Are you okay?" _she had asked.

"_Sora! You don't have to do this!" _she had warned him.

_ "Sora, are you even listening to me?" _she had yelled.

_ "Sora!" _she had shouted.

"But I never listened…" he whispered. "Kairi… I'm so, so sorry!"

His whisper turned into a heartfelt cry, ringing out throughout the emptiness that surrounded him. He was crying out, as if she could hear him. Crying out, as if the message would be carried along.

Crying out, because he wanted so very much to be heard.

_Then why don't you just go home and talk to her?_ asked a nagging voice at the back of his mind. But he knew the answer. He had many reasons.

His Shadow being one of them.

_Besides, what's the likeliness that she'll forgive me?_

_ I treated her so awfully, why in the Worlds would she want me back?_

_ I still want to apologize, though…_

He swallowed again. Slowly, his freehand reached into his pocket and he pulled out Kairi's letter. He unfolded it and read it again, quietly and carefully saying each word to himself, as if he intended to memorize it.

_She wants me to come home._

_ She wants to talk to me._

He carefully folded up the letter again, not wanting to think the next thought. He dared to anyway:

_So maybe it's just me who's chicken to go home._

He shied away from the thought as soon as he had thought it. He closed the sketchbook quickly, his mind quickly wandering somewhere else, _anywhere_ else. The air around him was stiff, and he suddenly wanted to _be_ somewhere else, too.

He glanced down at the sketchbook again.

_If this is Namine's, I should take it back to her._

_ But what am I supposed to do, just show up in Castle Oblivion and hand it to her?_

_ Things were rough when I left. They probably don't want to see me either._

_ I still need to return it though._

For some reason, his thoughts drifted away from that. He was thinking of Hollow Bastion again. Thinking of how he left there, _why_ he left there.

_And even if they did want to see me,_ he concluded. _I couldn't stay long. My Shadow could hurt them, too._

He laughed, a bitter sound.

_I can't stay anywhere then, until he's gone._

_ On my own until then, I guess._

For some reason, he was smiling.

_I feel bad for leaving Hollow Bastion, though. They were still having Heartless problems. I was probably doing a big help._

His smile turned into a grin, suddenly getting an idea. He went over to the bushes in which he had found the sketchbook and looked around for a bit. Thankfully, Namine had dropped a pencil, too. He took the pencil and flipped to a blank page. The last blank page.

A pang of guilt went through him for using the last page, but he ignored it and began to write his message.


	57. Longing Darkness

Sora's Shadow, I do truly hate you. except I don't... and this chapter is one of the reasons why. not the MAIN reason, but you won't see the main reason for a while.

on another note, I've got the site up and running. there's a link on my profile. it's not much at the moment, but I'm sure I'll have plenty of things to blog about as time wears on. Yeah, it's just a blog. but i had two and a half votes towards a blog and MAYBE a whole vote towards a wiki with all the partial votes towards it. Idk. just read the chapter

**Update Feb 2014: **Dead Inside will mention the blog _very frequently, _but unfortunately between moving blog hosts and blog posts just getting old, you most likely won't be able find any of the posts I refer to. There is a link on my profile for Chapter Commentary navigation, but that is all I can provide you.  
>Also, I cannot go through and edit every single chapter that mentions the blog due to there being just <em>too many <em>chapters and me having slightly more important things to do than find said chapters and edit them. Unless you are reading the most recent update, you can just ignore the mentions to the blog.

* * *

><p>"Don't sit there!" he said frantically. Kairi paused, glancing down at the spot he occupied. He groaned slightly. "Hi," he laughed, waving, though it did him no good. "It's me again."<p>

"Hi," Kairi replied, trying to laugh, but sounding a bit annoyed.

The Shadow swallowed.

_I'm really not THAT annoying, am I? _he couldn't help but think.

Kairi genuinely laughed after that, as if catching his thought process. "It's just really annoying that I can't see you, that's all," she assured him as she sat down next to him. Really _awkwardly_ close next to him.

He tried to not get excited over the fact, considering she couldn't see him, and in her head, she had probably sat a reasonable distance away. He quietly scooted over to make it so, even though he didn't really want to.

"Sometimes, I find it hard to even believe that you're real," she whispered, gaze fixed on the horizon. She tended to do that frequently. The Shadow was beginning to wonder if she just did that because she liked to look at the horizon, or if the trying to look at him and never managing to do so was tiring.

"I know what you're going to say," she continued, before he could open his mouth. "I know you're going to say that of course you're real, but it's still hard to believe. Especially since I've been alone so long… It's easy to think I'm imagining this…" She turned to him, but never could meet his gaze. "But since you are real, I want to thank you. It's nice having someone I can talk to."

"It's nothing," he told her simply, smiling.

His smile wasn't cruel, or just from sick enjoyment.

It was a true smile.

They had started talking frequently. It would never be about anything interesting, and she would usually do all the talking. He was afraid to speak, most of the time, afraid to say something that might give away who he really was. But she talked. Talked about stupid things. What she had done since his last visit. How she was avoiding Selphie.

There was a lot of annoyance she had built up against Selphie. But it wasn't hate. Just pure, innocent, annoyance.

And it killed him. Because each time Selphie came up, he was forcefully reminded of just how bright Kairi was. Reminded him that he was only a shadow. A small shadow compared to her light.

He was wasting his time.

They never talked about Sora. His name would come up occasionally, but she would always change the subject. She didn't want to talk about him. She was scared to even think of him. Scared to think of what he might have become.

And that killed the Shadow, too.

Because he wanted to tell her that: "oh yeah, Sora's doing just fine and putting up a good fight against the darkness." But he couldn't.

Because that would make him a step closer to admitting that there was a high chance that Sora could actually win in their struggle. That his light would prevail. That the darkness no longer had a grip on Sora.

And that he was wasting his time _there_, too.

But he wasn't, was he?

_No_, he told himself. _Sora's weak. He's a pushover. No problem! My job will be done in no time! It won't be long before Sora's dragged into darkness again!_

But that was his problem. When he was sitting this close to Kairi, he found more and more that he didn't really like the idea anymore. Because if he were to actually manage to drag Sora into darkness again, _she_ would get hurt. He didn't want to hurt her.

_If I could only get her to give up on him, _he would think, though it killed him to do so. _If she gave up, then she wouldn't get hurt, and I could drag Sora into darkness no problem._

_ And if she's the lifeline holding him up-_

_ Without her-_

_ Sora will be even more of a pushover._

And it would be so easy, too. All he had to do was open his mouth. All he had to do was speak, in his sly way, twist his convincing words into shape around her. And it would be easier, too. She was human, not a Replica. So he could feed the dark fires in her heart-

Except, there weren't any dark fires inside her heart.

There was hurt, and anger, and pain.

But no darkness.

Just light, and extreme kindness.

So it would _not_ be so easy.

So he never tried. He always told himself: "Oh, I'll do it some other time" or "oh, not now, maybe later."

Later never came.

He never could work up the nerve.

"The sunset's pretty, isn't it?" Kairi asked him, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Hmm?" he stuttered, shaking his head to pull himself back into focus. He turned to the setting sun, and smiled. The sunset would mean it was almost night. He liked night. But, it was also almost night, meaning he had spent most of the afternoon with Kairi.

"Yeah, I guess so," he told her. He however, was lying. He didn't think of anything as "pretty" not really. It just wasn't one of his words.

"I should be heading home," Kairi admitted slowly. She rose to her feet and attempted to smile down at him. He made no comment about the fact she was staring at his feet, and not his face. It only bothered her.

"We'll talk again, yeah?"

He nodded. "I might be busy, though," he told her. "But I'll be sure to show up."

"I'll be waiting," Kairi replied.

The typically routine. They had only fallen into it after a few days, a few meetings, and it felt… normal. Nice, even.

_Me? Live a normal life?_ the Shadow laughed to himself, watching Kairi walk away. His eyes remained fixed on her until he could see her no more.

"It would be impossible, wouldn't it?" he whispered.

He took a second to pull his thoughts to where they should be. He should be worried about how he planned his next encounter with Sora to go. He shouldn't be worrying about living a normal life. No, not worrying, _fantasizing_ a normal life with someone who he would never be close to.

Someone he loved.

But someone who could never return the love.

"Like it matters," he told himself, yet again, as he told himself each time his thoughts drifted that way. "I don't care. I don't have the heart to care."

But he _did_ care.

And it killed him.

XXX

"Hey, Riku, I've got something to tell you!" Namine called.

Riku turned away from 19. They had been discussing the latest batch of research that 19 had found. It was as unhelpful as the rest. He raised his eyebrows in the direction of Namine, wondering what was up. He was surprised to find her running towards him. She was clutching her sketchbook tightly to her chest, and the look on her face couldn't have been happier.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, finding himself smiling, too.

She skidded to a halt in front of him, seeming out of breath but too happy to care. She handed the sketchbook to him, which he took, a bit confused. She laughed after a moment, noting his confusion.

"It's my old one!" she exclaimed.

Riku's eyes widened in shock. "And where did you find it?" he asked.

"I didn't!" she replied. "I mean, I found it on my table, with the rest of my drawing things, but I know it wasn't there before! It just showed up earlier!"

"That's awesome!" Riku laughed.

She nodded. He opened it up and started flipping idly through the pictures. She snatched it from him before he could get far though, her cheeks tinged slightly red with embarrassment. He raised his eyebrows, bemused.

"I promise I'll show you the pictures later!" she told him, flipping to the back of the book. "But right now there's a more important matter at hand. Look!"

Riku nearly laughed and jokingly asked what could possibly more important, but the urgency in her voice as she shoved the sketchbook back into his hands stopped him. He glanced down at the page, even more confused than he had been moments before.

There was a message:

Hey, if you aren't too busy, do you think you could head over to Hollow Bastion for a bit? Leon's gang is over there, and they're having some Heartless trouble. I had to leave in a hurry, and I bet they would love the help.

Oh! And ask about Cid's soup.

"That's Sora's handwriting," Riku said after a moment, and then laughed. "Funny, he said he didn't want to go back to Hollow Bastion, but now he's telling us to go there."

Namine shrugged. "Are we going?"

"Well, I-" Riku began, and then swallowed. "They're having a Heartless problem, it could be dangerous."

Namine rolled her eyes. "I'll be safe as long as you're there, right?" she asked, eyes glinting with amusement. "Besides, with everyone else there, I doubt I could possibly get into too much trouble."

Riku regarded her with silence, unsure of what to say. He wanted her to come.

He didn't want her to come.

But he… _did_ want her to come.

He turned to 19, who hadn't moved, just stood there, listening to the conversation take place. He shrugged.

"If you want to go, I think we could hold down the fort for a few days," he said, laughter twinkling in his eyes. "Besides, it would be good for you to get out of here for a bit, sir. You _have_ been here for quite a few months. I understand. Castle Oblivion gets boring after a while."

Riku swallowed. That wasn't his problem at all. But how was he supposed to explain-

"Riku!" came a very loud shout, accompanied by the sound of footsteps. 29 skidded around the corner and stopped in front of them all, panting for breath.

"What's Joseph gotten himself into this time?" 19 asked.

29 shook his head, finally looking up at all of them. His face was notably paler than usual, and his eyes were filled with terror. "It's not Joseph," he said, voice barely coming out.

"Then… who-" Namine began.

Riku didn't wait for an answer. He ran to find out.


	58. Making and Breaking a Deal

Namine, you are AMAZING sometimes

and this just happens to be one of those times

* * *

><p>"Took you long enough!" someone called. "I've been waiting here for forever!"<p>

Riku glanced around the main room. Everyone had evacuated the center area where the couches were, resolving to just stay off to the side and out of the way of the disturbance. There were only two people that remained there. One of them was 6, who, being 6, didn't seem to care at all about the disturbance and remained in his chair.

The other person was the disturbance himself, lounging on one of the couches rather lazily. He had dark graying hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. An eye-patch covered one of his eyes, and there was a large scar on his cheek. He held a gun in each of his hands, one of which was now lazily aimed at Riku, even though its owner seemed to have no intention to shoot at all.

Riku slowly glared.

"Xigbar?" 19 asked, walking into the room. His eyes were fixed on the man on the couch. "What are you doing here?"

The man on the couch raised his eyebrows, and then laughed. "Xigbar? As if!" He rose to his feet, slowly, guns now just hanging aimlessly by his sides. "I'm his clone!" He stated this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, then glanced around the room, laughing again. "I don't see why everyone's so freaked out. I'm a Replica, just like the rest of you."

"Who's Xigbar?" Namine asked, voice quiet. She had just now caught up to everyone.

Riku cast a glance over at her in shock, realizing it probably wasn't a good idea for her to be here.

"Oh! So the little miss is here!" Xigbar's Clone laughed.

Riku's eyes widened with anger, and the thought that Namine probably shouldn't be here was blown from his mind. He took a step forward, energy sparking in his hand, ready to draw his blade-

But he never got the chance.

Namine grabbed his hand, canceling the energy out, preventing the blade from ever forming. She glanced up at him, squeezing his hand and smiling slightly. He returned that with shock, but then slowly smiled back.

"As I've already said, I'm not Xigbar," Xigbar's Clone continued, as if the short exchange between Riku and Namine had never happened. "_Xigbar_ is the Organization's Number 2. He's Xemnas's right-hand man, always has been, always will be. He's got more important things to be doing than-" the clone stopped suddenly, frowning, thinking about that. "Well, actually, this sort of thing is right up his alley. They might have mistaken me for him again. Wouldn't be the first time."

He shrugged, a casual: "don't know, don't care" gesture.

"And why exactly are you here?" Namine asked, eyeing Xigbar's Clone with a look that suggested she wasn't quite sure what to make of him.

"I'm here to make a deal," he replied.

Riku raised his eyebrows and started to speak, but Namine said something before he had the chance.

"Can you get rid of the guns, first?" she said politely.

Xigbar's Clone raised his eyebrows, shocked by the request. However, after a moment he banished them.

Riku turned to Namine in shock, regarding her with an expression similar to the one she had been giving Xigbar's Clone a minute ago. She turned to him and smiled.

He quickly shook his head to get his thoughts to focus back where they should be. He squeezed her hand and then let go, taking a step forward.

"What sort of deal?" he asked, voice cold.

"Simple," Xigbar's Clone replied. "You leave the Organization alone."

There was an uproar among a good portion of the rest of the Replicas, but Riku remained completely calm. He waited until everyone settled before asking:

"And what exactly do we get in return?"

Xigbar's Clone shrugged again. "That's up to you. Whatever terms you want, within reason." He waved his hand and then went back to lounging on the couch. "Take some time to discuss it amongst yourselves. I'm in no hurry."

Riku was silent for a moment, thinking.

"You can't promise them that!" Joseph blurted suddenly. "No offense, Xiggy," he added, turning to Xigbar's Clone, and then back to Riku. "But you know that! You've dealt with the Organization before! If you make this deal you're going to be kicking yourself in the-"

29 covered Joseph's mouth at this, cutting the sentence off. The rest of the rant came out very muffled, as Joseph tried to speak around 29's hand. It didn't work very well, and eventually he gave up.

"Riku," 29 said. "The choice is yours. If you think this is a good idea, then-" he trailed off and shrugged.

Riku slowly smiled, getting an idea. "I think I know what to do," he muttered.

"Wait!" 23 called frantically, rushing over. "I think I agree with Joseph on this one! There's no way this can possible be a good idea. There's nothing we could _reasonably_ ask for-"

"23," 19 said sternly, stopping him. "I'm sure Master Riku knows what he's doing."

23 scowled, and looked as if he was going to say more, but he kept his mouth shut.

"So, you've decided?" Xigbar's Clone asked, getting to his feet again.

"More or less," Riku replied with a shrug. "But I can only promise you this: if you leave us alone, and we'll leave you alone. Simple, right?"

Xigbar's Clone smiled. "Alright, that seems like a fair deal. I guess I'll be-"

"One condition!" Riku added.

Xigbar's Clone paused and slowly raised his eyebrows.

"You tell _no one_ that Namine's here."

Xigbar's Clone laughed. "That it?" he asked. "That was easy! I was expecting to have to force you to agree!" He was grinning. "I'll go report back to HQ then, tell them what a success this was! You all be good now!"

And with that, he was gone.

Riku turned back around and grinned. "I told you I knew what I was doing!" he laughed.

23 groaned. "You _do_ realize that Saix is included in the Organization, right? You just promised we wouldn't hurt him!"

"I did nothing of the sort," Riku replied with a smirk. "I promised we would leave him alone as long as he left us alone. And the likeliness of him leaving us alone is slim, right?"

"Well… I suppose that-"

Riku didn't want for him to finish. Without warning he grabbed Namine by the hand and dragged her around the corner. Almost as if on cue, the sound of many dark corridors opening came from not far off.

Riku glanced round the corner, not at all surprised to see 37 and the usual group of Replicas. He was, however, slightly surprised to see a few Berserkers. He turned back to Namine, who was gaping at him in shock.

"How did you know that there was going to be a raid?" she asked.

"An Assassin stopped me on my way over here, before we talked with Xigbar's Clone," he explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He just continued to grin, too, obviously really proud of himself.

"Well why didn't you just tell me?" Namine continued. "You don't have to _drag_ me! I would have left if you had said-"

"No, you wouldn't have," Riku laughed before she could finish. "You would have asked why and how I knew about the raid, and there wasn't enough time to explain. Besides," his grin grew a tad wider. "This was more effective."

He glanced around the corner again, wincing just as Joseph got knocked back by a Berserker. He skidded along the ground for a moment before finally coming to a complete stop near the wall.

"Joseph!" 29 called frantically, rushing over. "Are you alright?" He helped Joseph to his feet.

Joseph rolled his eyes. "I'm fine!" he insisted.

"You shouldn't be fighting, you hear?" 29 said, scowling now. "You'll get hurt."

"And like other people don't get hurt?" Joseph replied, voicing rising slightly in his anger. "Riku's the best fighter we have and he gets hurt all the time! I'll even use the Repair Program if I get hurt!"

"You don't know how to fight!" 29 hissed.

"That's because you won't let me learn!" Joseph shouted.

29 raised his shield to block an incoming attack. "Just get out of here," he said over his shoulder, trying to fend off the advancing Berserker. "We'll talk about this another time."

"But-" Joseph began.

"Go!"

Joseph groaned in frustration and shoved his wooden sword back in his belt. After a moment of pouting he caught sight of Riku and Namine and walked over.

"Shouldn't you be fighting?" he asked Riku, a bit of edge in his voice.

"Ah, in a sec," Riku replied. Everyone seemed to be doing a pretty okay job at fending off the Berserkers and the random Replicas. He still had a moment before he was needed.

"What are you so happy about?" Joseph asked after a moment, his anger fading a little.

"He knew there was a raid coming all along," Namine told Joseph. "And he's bragging about it."

Riku turned to her, a bit surprised. "I am not bragging about it-" he began.

"_That's_ why you agreed to the deal!" Joseph exclaimed suddenly, cutting Riku off. His eyes were wide with shock.

Riku grinned again. "I figured that Saix probably hadn't been expecting the specific set of terms I had offered, or us to even agree at all, and would have a raid lined up ready to go for the moment when Xigbar's Clone returned."

Joseph laughed. "Imagine how pissed he'll be when he finds out we _did_ agree! And since he sent a raid after us-"

"He's no longer covered by the protection of the deal!" Namine finished, and then laughed herself. "Riku! You're a genius!"

Riku's grin grew even wider.

"Yeah," he laughed. "I am."

Joseph made a face. "Oh please," he muttered. "Don't start."

Riku shook his head and then drew his blade. "Right," he said. "You two get somewhere safe. I'll go help these guys out."

"Good luck!" Namine called as she and Joseph headed off.


	59. Stalling for Proof

**Update Feb 2014: **chapter32 of Can't Escape sort of goes along with this chapter. Per usual, you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

* * *

><p>Berserkers were a pain, Riku decided very quickly. He wasn't having much trouble getting rid of them, but their attacks <em>hurt<em>. _A lot_. He was going to have bruises tomorrow, he was sure of that.

However, as he killed the last one and glanced around, he realized it hadn't gone too bad. 37 had only brought three other Replicas with him, instead of the usual five. One of them had been killed, another was currently incapacitated, and the other was nowhere to be found. It was rumored that they had run away.

All that was left was 37.

And, surprisingly, he hadn't even made it to the computer room yet. Alpha was distracting him, currently. Riku let out a long sigh and headed over.

"What's with all the Berserkers?" he asked, causing 37 to turn towards him.

"Saix no longer has the numbers to send five or so of us at once," 37 replied. "And since he has thousands of Berserkers at his disposal, and they are decent fighters, they made a good alternative."

"I'm surprised he didn't think of it sooner," Alpha laughed.

Riku smirked. "So then, 37, you seem to be putting up less than your usual amount of effort," he said. "What's the deal?"

37 scowled. "Well since the area around your computer room has become corridor-proof…" he muttered, trailing off into something that might have been a string of insults.

Alpha grinned. "Well, why don't you just call off the raid?" he taunted. "You've lost this round. Especially considering I'm blocking the only easy way to computer room."

"You do realize I could just corridor past you," 37 replied.

"So why haven't you?" Riku laughed.

"Riku!" came a sudden shout. A dark corridor opened not five feet from them and Namine stumbled forward from it, before running to Riku and throwing her arms around him. She buried her face in his chest, trembling slightly.

He glanced down at her, slightly confused and very worried.

"What's wrong?" he asked. After a moment, though, he couldn't help but add: "You do realize 37's here, right? They know you're here n-"

"They already knew!" Namine said before he could finish.

Riku swallowed, shocked by that. "They… did?" he whispered.

"Of course we did!" came another voice. And to Riku's anger (and horror) a Larxene Replica emerged from the dark corridor. She was grinning.

Riku scowled, protectively wrapping an arm around Namine. His free hand gripped his blade tightly.

"We've known for a while now that she's been here," the Larxene Replica continued with a sneer. "But Saix refused to do anything until we had actual proof. And since none of us had actually _seen_ her." She then laughed. "Of course, that all changes now!"

Namine whimpered slightly.

"Aww!" the Larxene Replica exclaimed. "Is little Namine scared of-"

"Shut up!" Riku shouted, and then glanced down at Namine. "What is it?" he whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Meltdowns have the most ridiculous timing," she mumbled. Her voice was small, scared, and hurt.

"Another one?" he replied, rather annoyed. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Riku glanced up at the Larxene Replica and 37 with a glare in his eyes. Though, the glare was directed more towards the Larxene Replica, despite his disgust that 37 had been stalling just for this.

"Do you want me to do anything?" Alpha asked.

Riku ignored him. "Get behind me," he whispered to Namine. He helped her sit down, as she seemed to be in too much pain to move properly. "Just hang in there, alright? This'll only take a sec." He stood up, shielding her from the Larxene Replica and 37, blade bared.

The Larxene Replica summoned her knives.

Without warning, though, Riku jumped at 37, bringing his blade crashing down. However, 37 simply formed a dark corridor around himself and was gone before the blade ever hit. Riku groaned in annoyance and then turned to slash at the Larxene Replica.

She jumped out of the way, but his blade still managed to do some damage. Not nearly enough damage, though, much to his dismay. She returned this by stabbing him with a knife. It got him in the chest, though it probably didn't do as much damage as she would have liked. The wound was bleeding, but definitely wasn't deep enough to be fatal.

Realizing this, she charged up a bolt of lightning. Riku quickly grabbed her by the wrist and twisted her arm, canceling out the lightning before it got far in forming. He kicked her in the stomach, sending her flying.

Alpha formed a dark corridor for her to fall through.

Riku didn't care to ask where it lead. The moment she was gone, he was at Namine's side.

"Are you alright?" he whispered.

She slowly nodded. "My head hurts…" she replied. "But not in the usual way. It's like the first time, in Twilight Town. It's all just slow… and blurry… and it hurts…" She slowly opened her eyes and attempted to smile at him. "It could be worse, though."

"Don't say that," he laughed, but the laugh was bitter. "Then it _will_ get worse."

"Of course…" she muttered, starting to close her eyes again. She paused though, and frowned. "Riku… you're bleeding!" She seemed as shocked as she usually was, though the statement did have less enthusiasm.

He glanced down at the knife wound in his chest. "Don't worry about it," he laughed. "It's nothing. I've been through worse."

"But, Riku-"

"Hardly a scratch," he assured her. "Nothing worse than the bullet wound."

_That_ got her attention. She pushed herself into a more proper sitting position and glared at him. "_What_ bullet wound?" she demanded, voice frantic.

Riku groaned at his stupidity, realizing he shouldn't have mentioned that, especially not _now_. He laughed, nervously. "I'll tell you later, promise," he told her. "But right now you don't need to worry about it, okay?"

"Fine," she muttered, and then winced, clutching her head. "But I'm only not arguing cause… I'm having trouble thinking…"

He smiled slightly. "I'll take that," he laughed.

"Shut up," she sighed.

"Sorry," he muttered, and then swallowed. "Are you doing okay?"

"More or less."

"Do you think you can-" he began, and then stopped. "Nevermind." He carefully picked her up. "Come on, let's go to your room." He ignored the look that Alpha was giving them, which looked very similar to the one that the Vexen Replicas got when they wanted to take notes.

"Wait, sir," Alpha called before Riku had formed the dark corridor.

Riku paused. It wasn't often that Alpha actually called him 'sir'.

"Yeah?" he asked, in a tone of voice that clearly said he was not in the mood for this at the moment.

"Well, sir," Alpha began. Riku raised his eyebrows, wondering if Alpha was just calling him sir to put him in a better mood. "I was hoping I could gather some information on the meltdowns-"

Riku's eyes narrowed at that. "No," he replied curtly. "She's already dealing with enough." He formed a dark corridor and was about to step through when-

"Riku…" Namine's small voice said. "This may not be a bad idea. I'm still coherent. It just… it hurts, that's all…" She paused for a second, and then continued. "This may be our only chance."

"Are you sure?" he asked slowly.

She nodded.

Riku sighed and turned back to Alpha. "Alright," he muttered.

Alpha nodded. "Meet me in my office, then," he said, and then formed a dark corridor around himself and was gone.

"Are you positive about this?" Riku asked Namine again.

"Yes," she replied. "If they have to study my meltdowns to figure out what's up and how we can stop them, then I'm all for it. I'm sick of this."

"Are you sure now is the best time, though?"

"What better time than while one's happening?" she laughed. "And as I've said, I'm pretty coherent right now. I'll be able to explain what they feel like, exactly, I guess." She paused again, as if trying to catch her breath. "I can't really remember afterwards. Nothing more than that it hurts."

"Alright," Riku sighed. "If you're sure. But I'm going to carry you."

She didn't bother to come up with an argument for that.


	60. The Forbidden Memory

Namine, I hate you for making me do this

but I love the character development I squeezed out of you and Riku in doing so...

* * *

><p>They all sat on the floor of Alpha's office. Why? Well, there weren't enough chairs in the room to seat all of them, and not enough time to acquire all the chairs they needed. Thus, they were stuck on the floor. However, no one was complaining.<p>

Namine sat roughly in the center of the room, Riku not far from her. Alpha sat directly across from them, typing away at his laptop. Vexen was sitting next to Alpha, doing what he always did: take notes. 19 sat a bit off to the side, half listening and half working through the latest batch of research. 2 sat even further of the side, partially because he didn't _need_ to be part of this conversation. He was only here because he had nothing better to do, and his excellent memory was very handy if anyone happened to lose their notes.

"Sometimes it's like I'm reliving a single memory," Namine explained, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "And other times there's more than one memory. They're thousands of them, or what feels like thousands, and there all these images that flash before my eyes. It makes me sick sometimes."

Riku grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She didn't turn to him, her eyes were closed. She did, however, squeeze his hand back.

"And what about now?" Alpha asked. "What's happening now?"

She frowned. "Well… this is different from the rest of the meltdowns. It's not like I'm reliving a memory at all. It's more like the other times. There's this like… flood of memories… playing at the back of my mind." She paused, wincing slightly. "But it's nothing more than flashes of images, really…" she muttered.

Alpha raised his eyebrows, and typed frantically for a moment. Then, he asked: "And the memories are all Riku's?"

Surprisingly, Vexen replied to that question.

"It would appear so," he said. "At least, that's what she told me when I asked her."

Riku's eyes narrowed. "When did _you_ ever talk to-"

"Riku," Namine interrupted. "Don't worry about it. I'll explain later-"

"No, I would like to hear _him_ explain-"

Riku didn't finish that sentence. Namine reached out, turning his face towards hers and making eye contact with him. All the anger on Riku's face suddenly melted, and he swallowed the rest of that sentence.

"I'll explain later," she repeated, pulling her hand away. "We need to focus on this now."

He nodded.

She held his gaze for a moment longer, surprised by something. The flood of memories had suddenly just… stopped. It didn't fade away, it didn't just slightly ebb away, it _stopped_. Riku turned away then, and rather suddenly the flood of memories started up again. She gasped in shock and clutched her head.

"Are you all right?" Riku asked.

She nodded and quickly shook her head, as if it would do her any good. "I'm fine," she said. "Just- they got stronger for a second there- the memories."

"If you want to be done-" Alpha began.

Namine shook her head again. "No," she said firmly. "I want the meltdowns to stop. And if we have to study them to figure out _how_-" she paused a second, trying to catch her breath. "Then I'm fine. This is our best chance-"

Riku swallowed. He was getting less and less sure about this idea. But, she said she wanted to do this…

_Then again… she may not be able to think straight… right now…_

He squeezed her hand again.

"Maybe not…" he whispered. However, she didn't seem to hear him.

"Do you have any idea what triggers them?" Alpha asked.

She shook her head. "No," she replied. "This one… just now. I don't know, me and Joseph were talking, and then that Larxene Replica showed up, and next thing I knew-" she trailed off, wincing slightly at just the thought of it. She swallowed and then continued: "Sometimes I'll hear something that sounds familiar, or see something that looks familiar, and the memories will start. Other times it's just completely random-"

"So there's no consistency at all?" 19 asked, glancing up from the research.

"It doesn't seem that way," Riku muttered, before Namine could respond.

"That's a shame," 19 sighed. "If there was-"

"Well there's not!" Riku snapped.

19 glanced up at him, and then sighed again. He returned his attention to the research.

"Is there any particular thing you've been… thinking about when one starts?" Alpha asked after a moment.

Namine shrugged. "I don't know, a lot of them start while me and Riku are talking, but- you know- we talk a lot, so that's probably just coincidence. And other times me and Joseph were talking... but not really about anything in particular," she shrugged again. "I mean, me and Joseph would talk about how we think the raids are going, most of the time, and the rest of the time it's just… stupid things."

"She's had more meltdowns than just the ones here, though," 2 pointed out.

Alpha nodded. "And what about those times?"

Again, Namine shrugged. "The first one… gosh… that was forever ago," she paused, frowning. "I don't quite remember. Riku was fighting someone, and I felt guilty because he was fighting for me, and then I got an odd sense of déjà vu, like something like that had happened before. Next thing I knew, the memories began-"

She stopped, rubbing her head. Riku tensed beside her.

_This is so stupid…_ he thought. _We really shouldn't be doing this. She's not okay._

_She should be resting, not trying to explain this!_

_Explaining only makes it worse!_

He bit his lip, though.

"The times on the Islands," Namine continued. "Well, the first time me and Kairi were just talking. I don't remember what about. And then, the next time… I was drawing… and the memory from the picture just started- and-"

She stopped, yet again, wincing in pain this time. She let out a small gasp, but fought it back down.

"Obviously, what she thinks of isn't the trigger…" Vexen muttered.

"Well, it might be," Alpha interrupted. "She says she can't remember what she was thinking about _every_ time, and that's understandable. If we just pay attention to what she's thinking about when one happens from now on-"

"This is ridiculous…" Riku muttered.

They continued pestering her with questions. Okay, they probably weren't actually _pestering_ her, but that's what it felt like to Riku, and he only grew tenser by the minute. As the questions continued, her answers became more and more frequently the same. "I don't know."

And with each "I don't know," she became more and more upset. And the more she got upset, the tenser Riku got.

Soon, it was too much for him to take.

"I don't know!" Namine cried, yet again. "All I know is that they hurt, _a lot_." She sounded as if she was close to tears, much to Riku's dismay. "And most of the time, I can't see because of all the images, and I can't hear either, because the voices get so loud I can't even-"

Riku pulled her close to him, holding her tight. "Stop," he said firmly. "I'm tired of listening to this. We're done."

She tried to pull away from him, but he only held her tighter.

"But I-" she began.

"No," Riku told her. "You're _done._ You are pushing yourself too hard. You don't need to explain this. You hardly know the answers to these questions, anyways. So just _stop_."

She slowly relaxed into his grip. The memories were becoming too much, anyways.

She could hardly think anymore.

It was all just a blur.

"_Broke his heart," came the voice of Larxene, a voice she found she couldn't ignore. "I'd say more like she SMASHED it, really."_

'_What!' came Riku's frantic and blurry thought. 'Namine did this to me? No! That can't be! Why would she-?'_

_The thought itself hurt. Everything hurt._

_What… did I do…?_ Namine thought, not at all surprised to find tears stinging in her eyes.

Then she saw it.

_Riku, laying lifeless on the ground, eyes blank, mouth half open in shock._

_ I… I did THAT! _she thought, shocked, too. _How could I-_

A scream escaped her lips, before breaking off into sobs. Riku held her closer.

It hurt.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered. "I am so sorry. Sorry- I didn't mean to-"

"Don't apologize," Riku told her. "It's not your fault."

She swallowed.

_I want to believe him…_

_ But does he even know what I'm talking about?_

Everything was blurring before her eyes. She could feel her consciousness starting to fade.

"No!" she cried. "I don't want to go!"

But there was no stopping it, already everything was fading to black-

Riku felt her go limp, and sighed. "I think we should leave her alone, from now on," he said, his voice rough. It was directed at everyone else in the room, though he never looked over at them.

He formed a dark corridor around himself and Namine, and they were gone.


	61. Bored Darkness

Riku carefully laid her down on her bed so she could sleep. He sat in his usual chair next to her and held her hand as she slept.

Her sleep wasn't peaceful at all, though. She tossed and turned, and would often wake up in a fit. Each time this happened, Riku would gently force her to lie back down, squeeze her hand, and tell her that everything was alright. And each time his words would soothe her and she would fall asleep again.

_This is as bad as the last time there was meltdown like this…_ he thought wearily.

_And she pushed through THAT one, too…_

_ I wonder if she gets rest sooner, will it still be this bad?_

At this she started to sit up again, a strangled sentence forcing its way out of her mouth. He gently pushed her back down, only to have her resist. He quickly pulled his hand away, and she sat up the rest of the way and turned to him with frantic eyes.

"Riku- I-I'm sorry!" she gasped. "I didn't realize-" she broke off, clutching her head. "It hurts! Oh gosh it hurts! I can't- I- I can't-"

Riku frowned, realizing that she probably wasn't fully awake yet. She had been rambling like this off and on, every time that she would wake up- no matter how briefly.

"Hey," Riku said, stopping her. "It's okay! You need to go back to sleep, it's all okay-"

"No! It's not okay!" she shouted. "It hurts! I didn't know it would- I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"Hurt me?" Riku asked slowly, officially confused. "What in the Worlds are you talking about?"

"Here, I'll- I'll show you," Namine said, reaching for her sketchbook.

Riku grabbed her hands, stopping her. "Not now," he told her calmly. "Now, you should go back to sleep."

She turned to him, tears in her eyes. "But I-"

"No," he said softly. "Later. You can explain later alright? Right now you can sleep." He wiped the tears from her eyes and ran a hand through her hair.

She broke down into sobs, then. Riku grimaced, wondering if it was because of anything said. He quickly pulled her into a hug, trying to comfort her.

"Don't cry," he whispered. "I don't like it when you cry."

"But- Riku-" she sobbed. "I'm- I'm sorry!"

"Stop apologizing," he said quietly. "Whatever it is that you're so worried about, you don't have to apologize for it. I'm not mad at you. If I was, I would understand what you were talking about."

"But Riku!"

He leaned closer and whispered softly in her ear: "I'm not mad at you. Stop worrying about it."

She was silent for a moment, before she nodded. He let go of her, and she slowly laid back down and fell asleep again. He smiled slightly and squeezed her hand.

XXX

"That may not have been your _brightest_ idea, you realize?"

Sora stopped and turned, not at all surprised to find his Shadow sitting on a nearby wall. He was, however, slightly surprised to see that his Shadow was polishing his blade. Or… cleaning it off. Sora didn't quite want to know.

They were in Halloween Town. It wasn't high on the list of Worlds Sora wanted to be in, considering this was one of the places he had lead the Heartless. However, everyone he had run into didn't seem to recognize him at all. Or, if they had recognized him, didn't realize what he had done. He counted himself lucky.

And, to top that off, the world didn't seem to be in that bad of shape. There were still a few Heartless lurking around, but nothing incredibly major. There were small Heartless, like Shadows and Search Ghosts. Nothing that was too much of a problem.

"What do you mean?" he asked his Shadow slowly.

His Shadow paused, examining his blade for a second, as if trying to determine whether or not he had actually gotten the spot he was trying to clean. "You know, deciding to go and travel the Worlds alone," he laughed finally. "Basic theory states that you would be safer in a group." He then looked up at Sora, seeming absolutely _thrilled_. "Not to mention the fact that you admitted yourself that you weren't sure if you would be able to survive on your own."

Sora glared. His Shadow grinned.

"Don't think _that_ thought escaped me," he said.

"What do you want?" Sora asked, an edge creeping into his voice.

His Shadow shrugged. "Well, technically, I should be fighting you, trying to break you down and drag you back into the darkness, _but…_" he sighed. "Not in the mood right now. It sounds boring. So… maybe we could do something else."

"How about you leave me alone?" Sora laughed, and then turned and started off.

"Not so fast!" his Shadow called.

Sora froze. He gritted his teeth, attempted to move his feet one more time, and failed. He could feel the darkness festering in his heart, responding to his Shadow's call. Slowly, very slowly, he turned his head so he could glance at his Shadow. His Shadow had a wicked grin on his face, and his hand was clenched into a fist.

"I'll fight you if I have to," the Shadow laughed. "And if you don't cooperate, I will have to. You only get out of this by _my_ terms." He made a sort of twirling motion with his hand and Sora spun around. He pulled his fist back towards him and Sora stumbled forward. He sighed and then unclenched his fist.

"Much better," he said.

"I wish you would stop that," Sora muttered, clutching his chest. The darkness in his heart was slowly quieting down.

"Awww! Does it make little baby Sora uncomfortable?" his Shadow taunted, and then laughed. "It's not like I can do it often, it drains my energy. Now, I've got a schedule to keep here, along with a reputation. So… I need to waste at least twenty minutes here before I can go do something else."

Sora raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

"First matter, though," his Shadow continued, banishing his blade. "We need to figure out what we're going to tell people when they ask what happened." He snapped his fingers, getting an idea. "I know! We'll tell them that we were fighting and I was a coward and ran away- wait- no! I don't want to be a coward." His eyes lit up and he pointed at Sora. "_You _can be the coward."

Sora slowly glared.

"Don't want to be a coward?" his Shadow sighed. "Fine. We'll just say that we were evenly matched and I got bored and left." He nodded and then grinned. "Yeah, I like that idea."

"And so what are we going to do for twenty minutes?" Sora asked.

The Shadow shrugged. "I like this world," he said. "It's dark. So we could just stay here… oh! I know! We'll walk around town so I can enjoy the darkness of it, and I'll annoy you, and you'll get mad at me, and I'll get stronger. It's perfect!"

"What if I'd rather fight you?" Sora muttered.

"And risk me actually winning!" his Shadow replied with mock surprise. "If I were you, I'd take me off on this offer, so I could live an extra day or so."

"Alright, fine," Sora said. "But I'm not going to like this."

His Shadow grinned. "Good."

XXX

The Reports of Zexion Alpha. Report 3

Namine is one special person, I have to admit. I have _never_ seen anyone able to convince Riku to do _anything_. And today, I saw her do this not once, but _twice._ I was certain he was going to say no as to having a research session on the meltdowns, no matter what _anyone_ said. But somehow she managed to convince him that it wasn't a half bad idea. Not only that, but she managed to soothe his anger before it even got far in forming. She managed to stop him before he and Vexen started yelling, and she also managed to stop him _earlier_ from attacking Xigbar's Clone, now that I think about it.

There is something about her that calms Riku.

Then again, there is also the fact that he gets so angry when she is hurt or upset. I don't think I've seen him angrier than I saw him today, when the research session started heading south…

The research session.

It didn't go as well as I had hoped. We found out very little information than what we already know, and hardly any of it was useful. We need to know what _triggers_ meltdowns, not exactly what they are. What's the point of treating the symptoms? It's the _cause_ that needs to be treated.

And the only trigger that I can even assume from this session is one that _no_ _one_ is going to like.

Riku.

The only thing that seems to be in common with all the meltdowns is him. She's either near him or talking about him when one starts.

Everything points back towards him.

Even during the research session, when she calmed Riku down before he started yelling at Vexen, well, I'm not sure what happened exactly. But it seemed as if when they made eye contact, the meltdown got stronger.

But that's insane. There's no possible way that Riku could be the trigger.

Right?


	62. Hope and Fear

hey! you should check out my blog!  
>and if you promise to check on it regularly, I'll promise that i'll find something to post regularly!<p>

Sora: you're evil and cruel and disgusting-  
>Shadow: and devishly handsome and funny<br>me: and conceited... sheesh!

* * *

><p>"My head…" Namine groaned, sitting up. She rubbed her head and then glanced over at Riku. He was looking at her, a bit confused.<p>

"Are you awake?" he asked slowly.

She laughed. "Yeah, I think so."

"Sorry," he laughed. "I just… wasn't sure. You didn't sleep too well… kept waking up. And you were always not entirely awake. But you're awake now, right?" He sounded worried, but when she nodded he relaxed slightly.

"I don't feel like I slept, though," she muttered. "I kept having nightmares and-" She stopped suddenly, realizing why exactly she had been having nightmares. She turned away, unable to stand Riku's gaze any longer.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Your head still hurt?"

"No…" she whispered voice catching slightly. "Not my head."

Riku frowned. "Are you hurt?" he pressed, worry creeping into his voice. The worry was quickly followed by anger. "Did that Larxene Replica-" He stopped suddenly when she turned to him again. Her eyes were filled with tears.

He swallowed, heart turning in his chest.

"Riku- I- I am so sorry!" she sobbed.

He shook his head, confused and starting to look upset, too. "You keep apologizing," he said. "But I don't understand what for."

"Larxene said that- that I smashed your heart," she gasped. "And- and there was something to do with shattered memories and-"

Riku's eyes lit up with recognition.

_That memory!_ he thought, and then winced. _No wonder she's so upset…_

"Namine," he sighed.

"-hurt so much and I feel so awful-" she continued, as if she hadn't heard him. She might not have.

"Namine," he repeated, louder this time. Still, she ignored him.

"I mean- I didn't even know I _could_ do that, let alone imagine why in the Worlds I would even _want_ to-"

"That wasn't you," Riku said, a tad desperately.

_This_ stopped her. She stared at him for a moment, in shock and disbelief.

"It wasn't?" she asked, her voice quiet and a bit hopeful.

"Parallel universe, parallel Namine," Riku explained simply. "That was her, not you."

Namine let out a sigh of relief. "Seriously?" she exclaimed, sounding much happier now.

Riku nodded.

"And here I was freaking out over nothing!" Namine laughed, now sounding embarrassed, but still happy and relieved. "I thought that- that I-" She laughed again. "I just couldn't believe that would ever happen. I wouldn't do _anything _to hurt you, Riku, no matter what the cost."

"Really?" Riku asked, sounding shocked.

She nodded. "You'd do the same for me," she told him plainly.

Riku started to smile, but something stopped him. "You know," he said after a moment. "I wouldn't mind if you had to hurt me. If it was that or… die… I'd rather I get hurt. And I wouldn't blame you, either."

Namine laughed. "I still wouldn't want to do it," she said.

Riku made a face, as if trying to decide whether or not he was going to argue with that. Eventually, he must have deiced it wasn't worth it, because he shook his head and sighed. "Are you feeling better now?" he asked, instead.

She nodded, grinning.

"Let's go to Hollow Bastion, then," he said.

_I really can't let him bother me_, Sora thought irritably as they walked through Halloween Town. His Shadow was talking away, his chains in a constant twirl beside him. Sora was doing his best to ignore him. Every now and then a Heartless would pop up next to them, and Sora would start to pull his blade to attack it, only for his Shadow to stop him. And with only a wave of his Shadow's hands, the Heartless would leave them alone.

"I don't need you killing them," his Shadow would explain time and time again. "They are basic and mindless, but they make good minions. And it's not like they'll harm you if I'm here."

And each time, Sora just gritted his teeth and continued to try and _not_ hate his Shadow. He was sure his Shadow was getting amusement from the struggle, but he would rather amusement than strength.

_The more I let him bother me… the stronger he gets…_ Sora reminded himself. _Therefore, if I just… don't hate him… or let him bother me…_

_ Well…_

_ I'm not sure…_

_ And it sure is hard._

He gasped in shock as his darkness suddenly reared up within him. He glanced over at his Shadow, who was just grinning.

_Not to mention the fact he keeps doing THAT_, Sora sighed, clutching his chest again and pausing. He quickly fought his darkness back down and cast a glare at his Shadow. His Shadow only continued to grin.

_This is ridiculous… I'd almost rather just fight him._

_ But only almost…_

_ Besides, twenty minutes have to be up sometime soon. Just need to hold in a bit longer-_

His foot caught on something and he fell forward. He quickly threw his hands out to catch himself, but still ended up scraping his knees and landing flat on his face. He groaned and pushed himself back up, casting a glare over his shoulder at his Shadow, who was now doubled over with laughter.

"Goodness, are you alright?" came a different voice.

Sora turned, surprised to find Jack Skellington looking down at him, concerned. After a second Jack bent down and offered his hand to Sora. He took it and let Jack pull him to his feet.

"Thanks," he said. "I just… tripped, that's all."

Jack frowned. "Over what?" he asked.

Sora glanced around, noting that there was nothing on the ground that he could have _possibly_ tripped on. He glanced over at his Shadow, who was still laughing. He sighed and then turned back to Jack. "Over… nothing… I guess…" he replied.

"Over nothing?" Jack said, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "How scary!"

"I-oof!"

At this, Sora's Shadow had shoved him, causing him to stumble.

"You must have one of those pesky ghosts following you!" Jack declared as Sora steadied himself.

"He's not a ghost," Sora muttered.

"Someone invisible then?" Jack asked, and then laughed. "What a brilliant idea! Can I use that for this year's Halloween? We still haven't found something scary enough, and this might just be it!"

"Good luck trying to get said invisible person to cooperate," Sora told him.

"Oh thank you!" Jack said with a grin as he started off. "This is just too perfect! Now all I need to do is ask Sally for help with-"

His voice trailed off as he got further and further away.

"I would absolutely _love_ to help them with their Halloween!" Sora's Shadow said, something close to a childish grin on his face. "I would just go around and trip people randomly, and say creepy things… and those people that could hear me would _freak_ and the people who couldn't would think that the people who could were crazy! Talk about awesome!"

Sora stared at his Shadow with shock. "You're wanting to be _nice?_" he asked. "And actually _help_ people? You're kidding me, right? Why would _you_ do something like that?"

"I'm serious!" the Shadow replied, still grinning like a little kid. "Do you realize just how much fun that-" he stopped suddenly and raised his eyebrows. There was an evil glint forming in his eye. "Sora!" he gasped in mock surprise. "You're beginning to sound like me!"

Sora's shock immediately fell into a glare. "I don't want to be like you!" he shouted, taking a step back. "You're evil and cruel and disgusting-"

"And devilishly handsome and funny," his Shadow finished, grinning. "I don't see what your problem is!"

Sora opened his mouth to say something, but his Shadow didn't give him the chance.

"Besides," he continued. "It's not like you can prevent this from happening. The connection between us is strong. One of us will eventually end up becoming more like the other, whether we like it or not. We can't avoid it."

"And how come _I'm_ going to be the one to change?" Sora asked.

"Because I'm a hell of a lot stronger than you!" his Shadow laughed. "And, with that thought left to haunt you, I'll just be on my way!"

And with a flash of darkness, he was gone.

"Hey!" Sora shouted after him. "I wasn't done talking to you!"

It was no use.

Sora swallowed and turned away.

_I'm… going to become like him?_ he thought slowly.

_I don't want to be like him…_

He slowly clutched his chest, knowing that the darkness in his heart was still there, still festering, still waiting for the opportune moment.

_Will the darkness change me like that?_ he wondered. _Will I become nothing more than someone who laughs at everyone else's pain with sick enjoyment? Someone who everyone hates, but doesn't care?_

_ Someone who ENJOYS being hated…_

Sora shook his head. "No…" he whispered. "I can't let myself become like that. I can't."


	63. Serious talk over a plate of Cookies

**Update Feb 2014: **psst, if you're curious as to what happened in Castle Oblivion while Riku and Namine were gone, check ch33-37 of Can't Escape

* * *

><p>After clearing a few things up with everyone in Castle Oblivion and letting everyone know where they were heading, as well as making sure Joseph didn't try and tag along, they headed to Hollow Bastion.<p>

"And just how are we going to figure out where we're supposed to go?" Riku asked, as they stepped out of the dark corridor and entered the completely empty castle.

Namine opened her sketchbook and flipped to a certain picture. "I'm guessing here," she said showing him the picture.

Riku glanced at it and his jaw actually dropped. "Since when does Hollow Bastion have a town?" he asked. "You think I would have noticed something like that! Seriously…"

Namine shrugged and put her sketchbook away. She reached out, opening a dark corridor, and then smiled slightly. "I think I know where we need to be, come on."

And with that, they stepped through.

xxx

Riku stepped out of the dark corridor. He took one glance around and groaned. "Really?" he hissed, turning back to Namine. "This is the second time you've done this to me!"

"Done what?" Namine asked, and then stopped, realizing where they were. They were standing in the middle of someone's house. "Oh…" she muttered.

"This is as bad as the time where you opened up dark corridor for me saying 'Here, this leads to Hollow Bastion!' without mentioning the fact that I would end up walking into Kairi's room!" Riku said.

"It's not like you walked in on anything-" Namine began.

"It was still embarrassing!" he exclaimed.

"Well, _sorry_," she replied, a touch of sarcasm in her voice. "I just think: 'Oh! This is where I need to be!' and opened up a dark corridor. I suppose I really should take the time to make sure that it doesn't lead somewhere we don't want to be, but it's a bit late now, and we're already-"

"Would you like some cookies?" someone asked, interrupting her.

They both turned, and were surprised to find Aerith standing there, a tray of cookies in her hands. She smiled politely at them, and her eyes were filled with laughter.

"See, I _told_ you we were in the right place!" Namine said.

Riku rolled his eyes and turned to Aerith. "Sorry," he said. "We didn't mean to intrude like this."

"Oh, it's perfectly alright," Aerith assured them. "I have complete strangers at my house all the time. And it's not like you guys are even strangers!"

"This is your house?" Namine asked.

Aerith nodded. "Right now Leon's using it for the headquarters until we have the rest of the town rebuilt." She sighed and then offered them the tray of cookies again.

"I would take one if I were you!" Cid called from across the room. "They might not last much longer."

"He's only saying that because he intends on eating them all," Yuffie laughed.

"You eat a fair share of them yourself!" Cid argued.

The argument continued, but Riku tuned them out, as he had gotten so used to doing. "You guys are rebuilding the town?" he asked, taking a bite of his cookie. He paused a second and chewed for a bit, taking care to enjoy the cookie. It was chocolate chip and still warm, not to mention absolutely delicious.

"Yeah," Leon called from where he was sitting. He was sitting in the middle of one of the couches between Cid and Yuffie, most likely to keep them from arguing. "This was our childhood home. We're going to restore it to its former glory."

"Sounds like a lot of work," Namine said as Aerith lead her and Riku over to the couches. She gestured at the empty one and urged them to sat down, which they did, but not before grabbing another cookie. Aerith laughed and set the cookies down on the coffee table between the two couches and then sat down next to Namine.

"It _is_ a lot of work," Yuffie replied, snatching a cookie from the tray. "We've got Heartless bothering us almost every day, and they make all the other work almost impossible!"

Everyone agreed to that.

Riku grabbed another cookie, but then paused, noticing something. Or, rather, _someone_. Sitting in an extra chair that looked like it had been pulled over was someone he didn't recall ever seeing before. It was a man with extremely spiky blonde hair, intense blue eyes, and a rather bored expression on his face.

"Oh!" Aerith laughed, obviously noticing his confusion. "I can't believe I forgot to introduce you! That's Cloud!"

The man, Cloud, glanced up and merely nodded.

"Cloud," Aerith continued. "This is Namine, and this is Riku." She pointed to each of them in turn, and then returned her attention to Cloud. "Remember? Sora mentioned them while he was here."

Cloud raised his eyebrows slightly, but still said nothing.

"Sora was here?" Namine asked, and then laughed. "Hang on, that was an obvious question. How is he?"

"He seems to be okay," Aerith replied.

"Still struggling with his darkness," Leon added.

"I think he's starting to get it under control, though," Cloud said, voice quiet. "And he seems to be handling things rather well, especially from what he's told me. I haven't known him long enough to be absolutely sure, but I can tell he's fighting the darkness with all his might. If you're worried much about him, don't be, the darkness is the least of his worries."

There was silence for a moment, as everyone seemed to soak in what Cloud said.

"If the darkness is the least of his worries…" Riku said slowly.

"Then what does he need to worry about?" Namine finished.

"His Shadow," Cloud replied simply.

There was another lapse of silence, as Riku and Namine tried to figure out what that meant. Someone must have noticed. Before long Leon explained:

"His darkness has manifested itself into physical form. It is, currently, on an odd plane of existence where only a few people can actually see it or hear it besides Sora," Leon rattled this all off as if he had explained it many times before. "However, it is very intent on dragging Sora back into the darkness, or at least kill him. And from the sounds of things, it won't have much trouble doing so."

"So why hasn't it, yet?" Riku asked.

"It's dragging this out for the enjoyment of it, right?" Aerith replied.

Cloud nodded.

"That's good, then," Namine sighed. "That will give Sora enough time to get strong enough to beat him, am I right?"

"Well, yes," Cloud said. "But it's not as good as you think. The two of them are currently in the state where they are constantly drawing power from each other, whether they realize it or not. But they aren't just drawing power, they are also drawing from each other's essence. One of them will change to be more like the other, within time." Cloud slowly reached out and grabbed a cookie, remaining completely casual. He took a glance around the room, noting the concern on everyone's face.

"The complete change will take a while to fully happen," he assured everyone. "It could be months, at least. And by that time, one of them will most likely be dead, so it won't matter."

"How do _you_ know all this!" Yuffie demanded, sounding rather shocked. "And why didn't you tell any of us?"

"I had my own Shadow," Cloud explained. "And the same thing happened to me. I got rid of him, though, long before the total change took effect."

"Shouldn't you tell Sora all of this?" Riku asked skeptically.

"I will, I if I see him again," Cloud replied.

"Well, enough of that," Aerith said quickly. "What brings you two here?" she asked, turning to Namine and Riku.

"Sora, actually," Riku explained. "He left us a note, saying that you guys were having trouble with some Heartless, and asked that we head over here to help, if we weren't too busy."

"Well, that was nice of you!" Cid laughed.

"We were also told to ask about your soup," Namine added, turning to him.

Cid made a face. "I'll makes some tonight…" he muttered.

"How long are you planning on staying?" Aerith asked.

"Not long," Riku replied. "Just a few days. There are still a few things going on at Castle Oblivion, and if we're gone too long there might be issues."

Namine opened her mouth to add that it was only really Riku that couldn't be gone long, but decided against it after a moment and took a bite of cookie instead. Of course, mid-bite, something else occurred to her. She quickly swallowed.

"It is alright if we stay here, isn't it?" she asked.

Aerith nodded, grinning. "Of course it is! You guys are welcome anytime!"

There was a loud crash from outside.

"'Bout time they showed up!" Yuffie laughed, jumping to her feet, shuriken in hand. She ran out the door and threw the shuriken. The sound of dying Heartless soon followed.

Cloud stood up, hand on the hilt of his sword. He started out the door, but paused. He cast a glance over his shoulder at Aerith. She nodded and followed him outside.

Leon readied his gunblade. He glanced around the room, and then headed out, too.

Riku, who was on his feet by this point, watched him go. He started to follow, but then stopped, glancing at Namine. She seemed a bit worried, but not at all scared.

He swallowed.

_I should… really help…_

_But…_

_Namine…_

"I'll look after her," Cid said.

Riku turned, slightly shocked. Cid had not moved from the couch. Rather, he only made himself more comfortable.

"I got hurt a bit ago," Cid explained simply. "Nasty gash on my leg, you shoulda' seen it while it was still fresh!" He grinned and scratched his chin. "Anyways, Aerith doesn't want me fightin' jus' yet, not 'til it's healed. Besides-" He paused just long enough to stretch out on the couch. "The Heartless rarely come in the house."

Riku just stood there staring at him. He didn't know what to say, though he knew he should say something. He just didn't know what-

"Go on," Namine told him, smiling. "I'll be fine."

Slowly, Riku nodded. "Of- Of course you will," he said, summoning his blade. "But, if… if you need anything- just- just yell, okay?" He flashed her a smile, and then ran out the door to join in the Heartless killing.


	64. Not the Right Word

O.O

Namine, when you mentioned this, I thought you were kidding...

holy shmokes, this means were a lot closer than i thought we were...

* * *

><p>"Riku, you're with me!" Leon called.<p>

"And you're leaving _me_ with cranky-pants?" Yuffie shouted. "I don't think so! Why don't I go with Riku, and _you_ can stay here and deal with the Heartless around the house!"

Leon sighed and turned to Riku. "You okay with that?" he asked.

Riku, who had taken out three or four Soldiers by this point, shrugged. "I don't care," he replied simply, and then kicked another Soldier in the face. It died instantly.

"C'mon!" Yuffie called, running off.

"Good luck," Leon said.

Riku grinned and followed after Yuffie.

They didn't get far before they were interrupted by a bunch of Deserters. Yuffie groaned.

"I _hate_ these guys! They're always such a pain!"

Riku frowned. The Deserters just stood there, doing nothing. "They don't look like they're _that_ strong," he said. "What are you-"

He never finished. Yuffie rolled her eyes and brought her shuriken down on the nearest Deserter. It died instantly. But its death sent the rest of the Deserters into a panic, and they started running around frantically.

"Try keeping one still long enough to kill it," Yuffie told him.

Riku raised his eyebrows, getting an idea. "Stand back," he warned, a smile playing on his lips. Yuffie made a face.

"So you think you're just going to pull some epic move and-"

"Do you want me to kill them or not?" Riku interrupted, flashing into Dark Mode. "Cause if you don't, I can just go home and let you deal with them all by yourself."

"You're mean," Yuffie muttered, taking a few steps back.

"At least I told you to get out of the way," Riku retorted, charging up Dark Aura. He hit most of the Deserters and killed them during the first part of the attack. The rest were killed at the end of the attack by all the dark pillars.

"YOU NEARLY HIT ME!" Yuffie shouted, once he was done.

"_Nearly_," Riku laughed, dropping Dark Mode. "I knew what I was doing. C'mon!"

XXX

"Why are you so good!" Yuffie whined, watching as Riku killed another two Commanders in one hit. "This isn't fair! I'm over here and I'm _tired_, and you're fighting like this is nothing!"

"This is nothing," Riku told her simply, as he killed yet another Commander. "I've spent the past few… months?" He stopped and sighed, shaking his head and killing a nearby Soldier. "Well, I've spent the past few months fighting Replica after Replica after Replica sent by Saix. Replicas who can think and reason just as well as you can, who are smart enough to run away when they're losing, whose attacks can actually do a lot of damage-" he paused as a Stealth Soldier snuck up on him. He hit it in the head. It refused to die. He kicked it hard, sending it flying. It died before it hit the ground.

"It's nice to fight some mindless Heartless," he continued, turning back to Yuffie.

"It's still not fair," Yuffie muttered, as she tossed her shuriken. It hit an Air Soldier, but didn't kill it. She grimaced and then tossed her shuriken again.

"Sorry," Riku laughed. "It's not like I can help the fact that I find killing Heartless ridiculously easy."

"Just stop bragging about it," Yuffie sighed.

"I'm not bragging!" Riku replied, his voice rising slightly with annoyance.

Yuffie started laughing. "You sound like you're- five or something!" she gasped through her laughter. Her laughter was stopped quickly, though, by a Sergeant.

Riku quickly started attacking it with his blade. Yuffie jumped back and started throwing her shuriken at it.

"Hey!" she called after a moment. "Do me a favor and distract it!"

Riku raised his eyebrows, but went ahead and started attacking its face, easily distracting it. Yuffie ran up behind it, made a grab at it, and then hopped back. She grinned.

"2000 munny! That's better than the last time!" she laughed.

Riku frowned, slightly confused, but didn't bother to ask about it. He delivered the final blow to the Sergeant. It dropped some more munny. "Missed some," he told Yuffie, picking it up and pocketing it.

"Hey!" she said, pouting. "I wanted that!"

"You already got two thousand munny off of it," he replied. "This is like… 300. Hardly anything."

Yuffie stuck out her tongue at him.

He rolled his eyes.

XXX

"Cid, can I ask you a random question?" Namine said.

"Shoot!"

"Are Cloud and Aerith-" she began.

"Together?" Cid finished, and then laughed. "Nope! Second person to have wondered that, though," he scratched his chin. "Aerith still isn't over her old boyfriend, and Cloud and Tifa are… well… I'm not sure what the right word is for _them_, but…" he trailed off, and then turned to Namine. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, just the way they were-" she began, and then laughed, too. "Never mind," she said. "I mean, Riku's protective over me, and it's not like we're- we're not-"

"Together?" Cid suggested.

Namine frowned. "No… that's… that's not the right word," she whispered.

"Then what is?" Cid asked, leaning forward slightly.

"I- I don't know…" Namine replied. "I've never thought about it. I mean, me and Riku, we're- we're…"

_What are we, exactly?_

_I don't THINK we're together… but…_

_Are we?_

_How am I supposed to know? I'm just a Replica… if I wasn't programmed to know, I would have to learn, and I haven't had time to-_

"Damn Heartless!" Cid shouted suddenly, hopping to his feet. "You aren't supposed to come in the house!"

Namine turned, finding a pair of Commanders behind her. She gasped and jumped to her feet, too, and then took a few steps away from them.

"I'll take care of 'em," Cid assured her, pulling out his spear. He lunged forward, stabbing one. The other one jumped at him, but he kicked it away and then brought his spear down on it.

Both of the Heartless died.

"There, not much of a problem," Cid muttered, and then turned to Namine. "Sorry about that. They _shouldn't_ come in the house."

"It's alright," Namine laughed. Something, however, made her pause. Curious, she glanced down. A small Heartless of the Shadow variety was gnawing at her ankle. She raised her eyebrows, and very casually shook it off.

"Cid?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Those ones are practically harmless," he replied. "If you want, though, you can just pick 'im up and take 'im outside. That's what Aerith usually does."

Namine laughed, and then stooped down and picked the Heartless up. It struggled for a moment, before settling into her grasp, eyes wide, antenna wriggling. "You're harmless, huh?" she asked it, and then laughed again and then headed for the door.

She set the Heartless down outside. It immediately turned around and started back inside. She stopped it with her foot. "No," she told it firmly, and nudged it back outside. Again, it started back inside.

Cid laughed. "Looks like he likes you!" he called.

Namine rolled her eyes, and nudged the Heartless outside again. "Stay!" she commanded. It looked up at her, and wriggled its antenna again. Namine quickly shut the door before it could decide it wanted back inside.

"Well that was exciting," she sighed, heading back over to the couch. She paused, frowning slightly at Cid as he sat back down on the couch and kicked his feet back. "I thought you said that they didn't come in the house…"

"_Usually_," Cid clarified. "Plus, those lil ones are always finding a way in here. It's no big deal." He pulled a twig out of his pocket and shoved it in his mouth, chewing on the end thoughtfully.

Namine shook her head and sat back down.

"So what was it that you were saying?" Cid asked.

"Hmm?" Namine replied. "I- I don't remember…"

"It was something about you and-"

"This is so stupid!" Yuffie shouted, throwing the door open and stomping in. She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

"I'm sorry I'm so good!" Riku said, coming through door after her. "It's not like it's my fault!"

"Doesn't mean you have to show off!" Yuffie replied, turning on him again. He just rolled his eyes.

"Do we need to regroup?" Leon asked, poking his head in.

"If we're going to, you should close the door," Cid called. "We don't need more Heartless getting in."

Namine groaned slightly.

"There were Heartless in here?" Riku asked.

"Small!" Namine said quickly. "Only one small one! A little Shadow! Nothing more!"

Riku laughed and headed over to the couch. "No need to freak," he told her, sitting down next to her. "I mean, you're not hurt, are you?"

"Might have some bite marks on my ankle," she replied, and shrugged.

"Stupid Heartless!" Riku muttered though his voice was completely sarcastic. "I should-"

"Oi!" Yuffie called, interrupting him. "There's still a Heartless attack going on outside! We don't have time for you to just sit here and-"

"We're regrouping! I know!" Riku said quickly, rising to his feet.

"Riku, why don't you stay here and take care of the Heartless outside," Leon said. "Yuffie and I can go somewhere else."

"Alright," Riku laughed.

"Let's go!" Yuffie said, running outside. Leon sighed and ran after her.

"Be careful!" Namine called, as Riku started out.

"No problem," he replied, and then stopped, grinning. "I mean, come on, I can deal with Heartless. It's Berserkers that are _really_ a problem, and I don't see any of them around here. I'll be just fine!"

Namine laughed.

Riku waved and headed out.


	65. Managing that Temper

heheh... this was fun to write...

Replicas + food =(typically) confusion

but I think this made sense... idk...

anyways, the chapter title was suggested by Magik! thanks so much sis!

* * *

><p>Thanks to Riku, the amount of Heartless went down quickly, and they were done quicker than they normally were. It was still late in the day though. Aerith had already shown Namine and Riku where their rooms for the night were. Currently, Cid was in the kitchen, working on his soup, Aerith was rummaging around in the cupboards, and everyone else was sitting at the table.<p>

"What do you guys want to go with the soup?" Aerith called. "We've got… bread, and-"

"Do you _really_ need something to go with my soup?" Cid asked. "I put practically everything in it, anyways."

"Bread goes with everything, though!" Aerith argued.

Cid sighed. "Whatever," he muttered, and held out his hand. "That reminds me, though, I need some bread."

Aerith laughed and handed him one of the bread rolls. He took it and started tearing it to shreds, throwing it into the pot with the rest of the soup. Aerith shook her head and started arranging the rolls in the bread basket.

"Thanks for your help today, Riku," Leon said, as Aerith walked over to the table. He took the basket from her, grabbed a roll, and passed the basket on.

"No problem," Riku replied, as he grabbed a roll and handed the basket to Yuffie.

"That reminds me," Yuffie said, as she skipped the roll and passed the basket on. "Where did you hurt your arm? I was going to ask you earlier, but then I got annoyed at you."

Cloud rolled his eyes, took a roll, and set the basket down on the table.

"Marluxia Replica," Riku explained simply. "He had a scythe and was aiming for my head. I'm not entirely sure how he managed to miss and get my arm instead, but…" He shrugged and took a bite of the roll. After a moment of chewing, he took another bite.

"Hot soup, coming through!" Cid shouted, as he headed over to the table, steaming pot of soup in his hands. He set the pot down at the center of the table and sat down in his chair. Aerith came over with a stack of bowls and started dishing out soup to everyone.

Riku experimentally tried a spoonful of the soup. After a second he simply raised the bowl to his mouth and drank the rest of the soup. He then held his bowl out to Aerith for a refill. She hadn't even sat down yet. She did not seem to care, though, and refilled his bowl anyways. As he set his bowl back down, Namine elbowed him in the gut.

"I know," he whispered. He ate this bowl of soup with his spoon.

It wasn't long before Namine had finished her bowl, though. Noticing this, Riku took her bowl and started to dish her up some more soup. He didn't get far though, before he paused. "May I?" he asked.

"Of course," Aerith laughed.

Riku nodded and finished filling Namine's bowl, then handed it back to her.

"You said something about a Marluxia Replica-" Leon began.

"And mentioned that you've been fighting a lot of Replicas for the past while," Yuffie added, as she refilled her own bowl of soup.

"So what _exactly_ have you been up to?" Leon finished.

Riku grabbed another roll. "Do you know Saix?" he asked, and took a bite. No one responded, so he quickly finished chewing and continued. "Well, he's part of Organization 13, and is in charge of the Replica Program-"

"And he hates Replicas," Namine added.

Riku nodded. "So, a good portion of the Replicas have rebelled, and I'm _sort_ leading the Rebellion, even though I have no idea why _I'm _in charge…" he shrugged and started scraping the soup out of the bottom of his bowl. "We still have something Saix needs, though, which is access to the Main Computer. The Main Computer remains in Castle Oblivion."

Riku paused a second to eat his last spoonful of soup, and then started refilling his bowl. "So nearly every day Saix has been sending a group of Replicas that will try and get the Main Computer from us," he continued. "And me and a lot of other Replicas on our side have to fight them off."

"And what have you been doing?" Aerith asked Namine.

"Nothing, really," she replied, taking the soup ladle from Riku so she could refill her own bowl. "I stay out of the way when they're fighting, and the rest of the time… well… there's not a lot to do. I draw a lot." She shrugged, and started eating her soup, though at a much slower pace than she had been eating before.

Silence passed, filled with only the typical noises of everyone eating. Riku quickly finished his fourth bowl of soup. Yuffie just started her third. Namine was slowly eating her third. Everyone else started getting seconds.

"Goodness," Aerith laughed, as Riku started scraping the soup out of his bowl with a roll. "You look like you haven't eaten in months."

"I haven't," Riku replied around a mouthful of said roll.

Namine quickly swallowed her food so she could explain. "We're Replicas, we don't technically _need_ to eat," she said. "Doesn't mean we _can't_ eat, though." She shrugged. "It's complicated…"

"I forgot how much I enjoyed eating," Riku said, taking another bite of the roll.

"Well, you can eat as much as you like," Aerith assured them.

"They need to save something for the rest of us!" Yuffie protested.

"Yeah," Cid agreed. "'Cuz I ain't making any more!"

Riku stopped, in the middle of starting to fill his fifth bowl. "Sorry," he muttered. "This will be my last bowl, then…" He quickly finished filling it, and then started eating it very slowly.

"So beside Saix, has anything else exciting happened?" Aerith asked.

Riku shook his head. "Nothing _exciting_," he muttered.

"There _is_-" Namine began, and then shook her head. "Well, those aren't exciting. Just annoying."

"Very," Riku agreed.

They lapsed into silence again, as neither Namine nor Riku bothered to explain what they were talking about. After a moment, Leon worked up the courage to ask.

"What?"

"Meltdowns," Riku whispered.

"Huh?" Yuffie demanded.

"Memory meltdowns," Namine clarified.

Cloud nodded in understanding. Aerith grimaced. Yuffie continued to look confused, much to Leon's dismay. Cid scratched his chin, curious.

"But they shouldn't happen often enough to be annoyin'," he said after a moment. "Tha's jus-"

"Not normal…" Cloud finished.

"Of course they're not normal," Riku said, voice rising slightly with anger. "If they were _normal_-"

"Stop," Namine whispered, grabbing his hand. "There's no need to get angry. Let me explain."

Riku swallowed, and then nodded. Namine smiled and let go of his hand so he could continue eating.

"No, they're not normal," she said. "They happen too frequently to be normal, and I'm pretty sure normal ones don't hurt nearly as much. Plus, none of the memories I see during a meltdown are even mine, they're Riku's."

"Why?" Aerith asked.

"We don't know," Namine replied, and then paused. "Wait… were you asking why the memories are Riku's, or why the meltdowns happen so frequently?"

Aerith frowned, not entirely sure. "Both…" she said slowly.

"Well, the memories are Riku's 'cause I'm created from data that was collected from his memories," Namine explained. She stirred her soup thoughtfully, made a face, and then handed the bowl to Riku. He took it, not saying a word, and started eating it.

"And you don't know what causes the meltdowns, do you?" Cloud asked.

"If we knew, we would have stopped them already," Riku muttered tersely.

"Maybe there's jus' something wrong with her data," Cid suggested, taking a drink of his coffee. "If the data was damaged, or unstable-"

"You mean defective," Yuffie interrupted.

"No, I mean unstable!" Cid argued. "There is a difference between-"

"Not really," Yuffie muttered, rolling her eyes.

Cid frowned. "Now wait a minute!" he shouted. "You aren't still goin' on about-"

"Guys, stop," Cloud said firmly.

The room slowly went silent. All eyes shifted to Riku, who was staring at his soup, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. He was shaking slightly.

_I will not draw my blade,_ he told himself.

_I will not draw my blade._

_I will not draw my blade!_

_I CANNOT just draw my blade and let my anger get the best of me! We're guests here, I can't just attack one of them…_

_But-_

_It's only Yuffie…_

"Riku?" Aerith asked.

_No! It doesn't matter WHO it is! _he told himself. _I can't let my anger-_

_I can't-_

"Riku," Namine whispered. "I'm sure she didn't-"

"I'm done!" Riku said suddenly, dropping his spoon. He didn't seem to care that it bounced out of his bowl and clattered to the table. He stood up, chair scraping against the floor. "I'm- I'm not doing this," he continued, voice shaking as he tried to remain calm. He turned and headed up the stairs, not looking at anyone.

"Riku!" Namine called after him. He didn't even turn around.

She groaned.

"_Now_ look what you did," she muttered under her breath.

"What?" Yuffie replied, looking completely clueless. "Did I- what did I say!"

Namine turned to her, eyes serious, but not an entire glare. "You said the d-word," she said simply.

"D-word?" Yuffie asked, looking even more confused.

"Defective," Leon whispered. "Right?"

Namine nodded.

Yuffie's eyes widened in shock. "Oh my gosh!" she gasped. "I didn't realize- I didn't mean it like-"

Namine shook her head, stopping her. "Riku just doesn't take it kindly, that's all. I'm surprised all he did was storm off…" She cast a glance up the stairs. "Usually… he's a lot worse. I've seen him _kill_ Replica after Replica _just_ for saying that word. I mean… they were all Replicas on Saix's side, but- still…"

She sighed and then turned to Cid. "The soup was wonderful, by the way," she told him. "Thank you. I'm going to go… make sure he's- that he doesn't do anything stupid." She stood up and headed up the stairs, too.


	66. What Would You Like?

Who said we were close to being done? I never said we were close to being done. I merely said that we were _close_. I never specified what to.

and trust me, if we were close to being done, you'd know, because it would be pretty obvious ;D

in other news, you should REALLY check out my blog. And that means YOU! even you little anonymous readers that never bother to drop me a review! I know you're out there! Go check out the blog, it's terribly important!

* * *

><p>"Riku?" Namine asked, slowly opening the door. "You alright?"<p>

"I feel like I need to punch something," was his response.

Namine frowned. Riku was sitting on the bed, eyes fixed firmly on the ground in front of him. His entire body was tense, and his hands were tightly clenched into fists. He was in Dark Mode.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I suppose I shouldn't have let the conversation carry that far-"

"Don't apologize," Riku said firmly. "I'm not mad at you."

Namine couldn't help but smile at that. She walked over and sat down next to him.

"I'm really proud of you, you know," she told him. "I was almost certain that you were at _least_ going to yell at Yuffie, if not actually hurt her. I- I'm glad you didn't."

"I _wanted_ to," he muttered.

"But you didn't, and that's what really matters," she reminded him.

"Is it?" he asked quietly. "I still _feel_ angry, and not just at her, but at myself, too." He swallowed, and wrung his hands nervously. "I don't like the fact that I do this. I don't like the fact that every time someone says something that ticks me off I just lose it and have my blade at their throat in the next five seconds. It bothers me…"

She turned to him, slightly shocked. It wasn't often she heard him say things like this.

"I wish I could help," she sighed. "But I can't…"

"That's alright," he assured her. "I just- I wish I knew why it bothers me so much. It's never bothered me before."

"Maybe… it's because only Larxene Replicas have been stupid enough to say that word," Namine suggested, laughing slightly. "And it's not like you really care what happens to them."

"But back there…" Riku whispered. "When I was fighting to keep my anger in check so I wouldn't hurt Yuffie- I-" His voice got even quieter. "I felt like a monster…"

Namine gasped slightly, taken aback. Riku turned away. Namine swallowed, and then reached over and pulled him closer.

"You are _not_ a monster," she told him firmly. "Monsters go around hurting people just for the fun of it. You're only protecting the things you care about."

"Protecting… the things I care about…" he repeated slowly, and a smile spread across his face. He maneuvered himself so he could wrap an arm around her and pulled her closer, so her head was resting against his chest. She let out a small gasp of surprise, but soon relaxed.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome," she laughed, though she had no idea why he was thanking her in the first place.

They sat there for a moment more, saying nothing. Riku let out a long content sigh and flickered out of Dark Mode, completely at ease. Namine, however, was having trouble keeping her thoughts from getting frantic. She was close enough to Riku to hear his heart beat, and to feel him breathe, and it was wonderful, but-

She could _not_ get her mind to calm down enough to simply enjoy this moment. Her mind _insisted_ on wandering back to what she and Cid had been talking about earlier, and _insisted_ on dwelling on it. Since she didn't seem to have much choice in the matter, she let it.

_"Together?"_ Cid had asked.

_"No,"_ she had replied. _"That's not the right word…"_

_ "Then what is?"_

_ He has a good point, _Namine told herself. _What IS the right word?_

_ Are me and Riku… really together?_

_ I assumed that Aerith and Cloud were together simply because he was protective of her, like Riku is to me. So… that would mean… I think that Riku and I are together…_

_ Right?_

_ That's logical…_

_ I've just… I've just never thought about it…_

So she let herself think about it. She thought about all those looks that the Vexen and Marluxia Replicas and even Alpha would often give them when they were together. Some rolled their eyes. Some pointedly looked away. Others even looked slightly disgusted.

Vexen would typically watch them with interest, always scribbling away in his notebook. Alpha was among the eye-rollers. 19 was different from everyone else. He would often look at them, understanding in his eyes, and then laugh, shake his head, and turn away.

Then there was Joseph.

All the teasing, all the looks he would throw them. Sometimes he would be disgusted. Other times he would laugh.

_THEY all must think that there's SOMETHING between me and him, at least…_ Namine concluded. _Does Riku think that there's something there, though?_

_ And do I?_

_ I'm sure that's what really matters…_

She stopped her thoughts for a second and did her best to focus on this moment again. Riku hadn't moved an inch. She could still hear his heart beat, slow and steady, could still feel his breath, calm and even. She tried to relax, for some odd reason wanting her breath to fall into sync with his.

_Maybe… there is something there…_ she thought slowly.

Her heart started racing at just the thought of it.

_All those times… when we're together… even just recently, when-_

_When I was bandaging his scythe wound, we-_

She pulled her thoughts to a quick stop, realizing something else. That, and she didn't want to quite finish that thought. She pulled away from Riku, though something in her desperately didn't want to. He glanced down at her, confused, and worried.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

She laughed and shook her head. "No, nothing's wrong," she assured him.

"You seem troubled…" he muttered. "That's all."

"If I _am_," she replied. "It's because of _that_."

Riku glanced down at his arm, where her gaze was currently fixed. He laughed slightly. His bandages were covered in blood. He glanced up at Namine, a grin playing on his lips.

"I'm surprised you just now noticed," he laughed.

She frowned. "Shut up," she said. "I _told _you to be careful with that arm!"

"You didn't tell me anything," Riku replied simply.

Namine opened her mouth to argue, and then paused. She hadn't actually told him to. Her frown deepened. "Well I _should_ have," she muttered, and then rose to her feet. "I'm going to go ask Aerith if she has any bandages. I need to re-bandage this…"

She stopped a second, and then sat back down next to him and started carefully unwrapping the bandages from his arm. Once she was finished she took the dirty bandages and stood up again. "Let that air out," she told him.

Riku nodded.

"Be right back," Namine laughed, heading out the door.

XXX

Unsure of where _exactly_ she was going to find Aerith, Namine just headed downstairs. There was a pair of muffled voices coming from down there, one of them sounded like Aerith's. The other she couldn't quite place, but she _thought_ it was Cloud.

"Aerith?" she called, as she turned the corner. She started to say more, but stopped and quickly swallowed that, as she surveyed the scene in front of her. Aerith stood at the sink with a dishtowel in her hand, and was frowning in Cloud's direction. The sink was still half full of dishes, which Aerith was probably still trying to wash. Cloud stood close to the door, glancing in Aerith's direction, but not meeting her gaze.

"I am so sorry!" Namine gasped. "I didn't realize I was interrupting-"

"It's alright," Cloud assured her. "I should be leaving, anyway."

And before either Namine or Aerith could respond, he was out the door. Aerith made a face. "Cloud!" she called, but he was probably too far to hear her. She sighed.

"Sorry, Namine," she said, throwing the towel on the counter. "This will only take a sec."

And she hurried out the door after Cloud.

Namine stood there, very confused, and unsure what to do. After a moment, though, she located the trashcan and disposed of the dirty bandages. Then, she went and sat down on one of the couches and waited patiently for Aerith to return.

"Cloud! You can't just leave!" she heard Aerith call from outside. "Tifa isn't here yet! She said she'd be here in only a few days. If you could just wait until-"

She stopped suddenly. Namine could hear Cloud's voice, and quickly assumed that he had stopped her. She couldn't catch what Cloud said, though. She made a face.

_I really shouldn't be eavesdropping…_ she scolded herself.

_What was I thinking about earlier?_

_The scythe wound…_

She felt her cheeks grow hot, just as the thought drifted her way back into her mind. She winced slightly, still not really wanting to think anymore about it.

"But your darkness is already taken care of!" came Aerith's shout from outside.

Her shout distracted Namine for a second. And though Namine felt guilty about it, she was grateful for the interruption. Again, though, Aerith and Cloud's voices faded into something quiet enough that she couldn't understand what they were saying.

"I'm not running from anything!" was the next thing she _could_ understand. It was Cloud's voice. He sounded as if he was laughing in disbelief, but there was a bit of an edge in his voice.

Silence passed after this. An unbearable silence, in which Namine hardly dared to breathe, for fear she might interrupt what was happening outside, even though she was taking no part in it. Slowly, in that silence, Cloud's heavy footsteps echoed through the night.

Then, desperately, Aerith cried: "Zack doesn't blame you!"

The footsteps stopped. The silence that passed now was even more unbearable than the last. Then, Aerith quietly started speaking. She was speaking so quietly that Namine couldn't understand what she said. But she didn't dare strain to hear it.

Rather suddenly, Aerith came back inside. She looked extremely distraught.

"I wish Tifa were here," she sighed.

Namine started to reply to that, but then stopped. She wasn't entirely sure if Aerith had even meant to say that out loud. She swallowed, and as quietly as she could rose to her feet.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

Aerith glanced up at her, looking slightly shocked and even a tad embarrassed. She quickly shook her head. "Oh, no, everything's fine," she said. "Cloud's just- Cloud-" She swallowed. "Cloud's going to go help Sora, that's all. What was it that you needed?"

Namine frowned, thinking that maybe there was something more to Cloud's departure than just wanting to help Sora. She started to ask Aerith, but then remembered that she shouldn't have heard that conversation, and therefore couldn't reasonably ask about it. She instead just said:

"Bandages. I- Riku's wound needs re-bandaging. Do you happen to have any?"

"Storage closet," Aerith replied, pointing. "They should be on the top shelf."

Namine went over to the door that Aerith indicated. Sure enough, the bandages were on the top shelf.

"Is Riku okay?" Aerith asked.

Namine turned to her, roll of bandages in hand, and simply nodded. "Better than usual, actually," she mused, mainly to herself. Not entirely to herself, though. For some reason, she did want Aerith to hear this. "Maybe a bit upset, but okay."

"Are you okay?" Aerith continued.

Namine frowned and shut the door. "Of course I am," she replied slowly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, Yuffie-"

"Are _you_ okay?" Namine asked, before Aerith could even finish. Aerith made a face.

"Why wouldn't I be?" she responded slowly.

Namine bit her lip. She had a feeling that Aerith wasn't telling the entire truth. She didn't say anything about it, though. Aerith had a look on her face that suggested that whatever it was, it was something she _really_ didn't want to talk about.

"I should get going," Namine said, starting for the stairs. "Riku will wonder what's taking me so long." She laughed slightly, and hurried up the stairs. Halfway up, though, she paused and turned back to Aerith. "Do you think… that me and Riku are… together?" she asked slowly.

"Why are you asking _me_?" Aerith laughed.

Namine blushed.

"I- I don't know," she muttered, nervously tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I just- I was thinking about it, and-" she trailed off.

"If you were, you would make a really cute couple," Aerith said after a moment.

Namine's blush deepened.

Again, Aerith laughed slightly. "Listen," she told Namine. "I don't think the question is: 'Are you together?' the question is: 'Would you _like_ to be?'"

"Well, I-" Namine began.

Aerith shook her head, stopping her. "Don't tell me. Tell yourself." And with that, she headed back to the kitchen and returned to the dishes.

Namine stood there a second longer, not entirely sure of what to do now. After a moment, she just headed back up the stairs.


	67. Ridiculous

ohmygosh you two! RIDICULOUS!

In other news, though: you can thank magik for the "two inches from my eyeballs" line. She came up with it as we were joking around with this scene. I didn't expect to actually fit it in... but...

the "require taking of my shirt" line I have been wanting to use for a while. Never could find where to put it...

UNTIL NOW!

anyway, enjoy

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><p>Riku winced slightly and pulled his arm away.<p>

"I'm sorry!" Namine gasped. "I'm trying to be as careful as I can!"

She only had half the wound bandaged by this point, and his sudden movement had messed up a good portion of her work. She didn't say anything about that, though.

"No, it's not that," he assured her. "My shoulder hurts, that's all. Berserkers are a pain…"

He quickly repositioned himself so Namine could continue to bandage the wound. She rolled her eyes slightly and shook her head.

"You really need to stop getting injured," she told him.

"It's not like I _try_," Riku replied, his voice echoing a sense of wounded dignity. He smiled, though.

"Really now?" Namine asked. She glanced up at him, eyebrows raised, and then returned her attention to the wound. "And what was this I hear about a bullet wound?"

"Now, see-" Riku began, but stopped. He made a face. Technically, he received the injury due to a conscious decision to throw himself into the line of fire. And it wasn't like he was going to lie to Namine about that…

Didn't mean he wanted to tell the truth, though.

"I knew what I was doing…" he muttered after a moment.

Namine tied the bandage quickly, and then formed a dark corridor next to herself and reached through. After a brief second of groping around, her fingers closed around the edges of her sketchbook. She pulled it through the corridor, closed the corridor, and quickly located the page she was looking for.

"You did?" she asked finally stopping on the picture and shoving it towards Riku. "Then can you explain this?"

Riku blinked a few times. She had shoved the sketchbook right in his face. He swallowed, and then blinked a few more times.

"I'd love to," he laughed after a moment. "However, I can't see it, because it's _two inches from my eyeballs!_"

Namine laughed and pulled the sketchbook away from his face. "Only teasing," she giggled. "Still… I'd like to understand _why_ you decided to do this…"

Riku glanced over at the picture. Sure enough, captured there nearly perfectly in the drawing, he stood, arms spread wide, a smirk on his face. Clayton stood across from him, gun trained to fire. He smiled slightly.

Namine glanced up at him expectantly.

"We… needed proof…" he explained slowly.

She raised her eyebrows.

He sighed. "I knew what I was doing!" he assured her. "I honestly did! I'm not hurt at all! I- I flashed into Dark Mode right before the bullet hit. The Dark Suit took all the damage."

She said nothing, just continued to stare at him.

"Honestly!" he said, a tad exasperated. "I mean, I'd show you that I'm not hurt, but- but that would require taking my shirt off, and-" He stopped, made a face, and then flashed into Dark Mode. "Look!" he exclaimed, pointing at the spot on his chest where the bullet had hit. "Not even a scratch!"

Ever so slowly, he glanced up at Namine.

She was grinning.

"What?" he asked.

Her grin grew even wider and she simply shook her head.

Riku made a face. He could feel his cheeks growing hot with embarrassment.

"What?" he asked again.

"You're ridiculous!" Namine laughed. "I mean- did you- did you _hear_ yourself while you were saying all that!"

He frowned and flickered out of Dark Mode. "Oh shut up…" he muttered. "You're the one who shoved a sketchbook in my face, so you're ridiculous, too!"

She laughed.

And, ever so slowly, he started to laugh with her.

They laughed for a good while, and then their laughter slowly ebbed back into silence. Namine fingered the edges of her sketchbook, unsure of what to do now. Riku cleared his throat.

"Is that your old sketchbook?" he asked after a moment, saving her from having to come up with something to say.

She nodded.

A smile tugged the corners of his lips. "You promised me you'd show me all of your amazing pictures when we had the time," he said.

She blushed, and flipped to the beginning of the book.

"Well, we seem to have time now," she laughed.

"Yeah," he agreed, and then scooted a bit closer to her so he could see the sketchbook better. She paused, her heart pounding madly in her chest. She swallowed, cast a sideways glance at Riku, who didn't seem to notice at all, and then quickly tried to regain her composure. Thankfully, it didn't take her too long.

_I'm really glad Riku didn't notice that… _she thought to herself, as they looked over the first picture. It was one of him, a very simple one, too. She glanced at Riku, shrugged, and then turned the page.

This one was of the two of them, sitting on the Paopu fruit tree in the sunset. She smiled slightly at this picture.

"That's a nice picture," Riku commented.

"Yeah," Namine whispered. "There was a really pretty sunset that day, and I remember wishing that you had been there to see it…" She sighed.

"So you drew this?" he laughed.

She shrugged and turned the page.

They sat there for quite a while. Namine would make a few comments as to why she drew each picture, or occasionally there was a funny story that went along with it. There was a certain one that she paused at and just started laughing.

Riku stared at the picture in shock.

"Kairi and I were joking around, and she bet that I couldn't draw anything absolutely ridiculous and still make it look good," Namine explained. "So I asked her what ridiculous thing she wanted me to draw to prove her wrong, and she told me-" She laughed. "Told me to draw a dragon version of her."

Riku shook his head.

"Girls," he muttered in disbelief.

"Like boys are any better," she argued. "With you and all of your random competitions."

"But those at least make sense," Riku replied.

Namine shrugged.

They continued to the next picture.

It was another one of Riku.

"Why are there so many pictures of me?" Riku asked.

Namine blushed. "I missed you a lot, while you were gone," she whispered. "I- I couldn't stop thinking about you. I kept wondering about whether or not you were okay, and- and hoping that you would come back soon."

"I'm sorry-" he began.

"Don't be," Namine said before he could finish. "You had more important things to do."

Riku frowned, not liking the way that she had worded that at all. He didn't _think_ that he had been thinking like that during that time, but he couldn't quite remember. All he knew was that _now_ he wouldn't be too happy with himself if he had been thinking like that.

_What could be more important than being with her?_ he wondered, and then paused, taken aback.

_Where in the Worlds did THAT thought come from?_

_ I mean, I know I like spending time with her._

_ A lot._

_ But… that doesn't mean it's the most IMPORTANT thing, does it?_

_ Maybe there's another word…_

_ "Important" surely isn't the right one-_

There was a knock on the door.

Both of them looked up, rather shocked.

"Yeah?" Riku asked.

Aerith poked her head in. "We've got more Heartless-" she began, and then stopped. She frowned slightly, looking between the two of them. "Have you two been up all night?"

"Has it been that long?" Namine asked, surprised.

Aerith shook her head. "Not… _terribly_ long," she assured them. "It's about three in the morning, right now. The Heartless have ridiculous timing…" She sighed. "But, still, you haven't slept?"

They both shook their heads.

"It's not like we _need_ sleep-" Riku began.

"He's lying," Namine interrupted. "We do need sleep. Just not as frequently as everyone else. But we _do_ need it." She cast a wry look over at Riku. "He get's cranky when he hasn't had enough sleep," she told Aerith.

"I'll take your word for it," Aerith said. "I need to go wake everyone else up."

And with that, she headed off.

"Heartless killing time!" Riku laughed, hopping to his feet.

Namine frowned, though, as she closed her sketchbook.

_Aerith…?_ she thought slowly. _Have YOU slept at all?_

"It's too _early_ to be up!" Yuffie whined, as she clunked down the stairs. "Can't the Heartless wait another few hours?"

"Well, sure, if yeh don' mind waking up to them eatin' yeh…" Cid muttered.

Yuffie threw him a look, but with only half the energy as usual.

"Where's Cloud?" Leon asked, as he straightened his jacket (which had been thrown on in a hurry).

"Left," Aerith replied simply.

"Again!" Yuffie exclaimed.

Aerith frowned at her. "You know he has other things he needs to do," she said, though her voice suggested that she didn't quite believe this herself. "We can't force him to stay here."

"Yeah, but he _never_ stays long when he _is_ here!" Yuffie muttered.

"Let's not worry about it," Leon said, pulling out his gunblade. "Whether or not Cloud decides to stay here is his business. _We_ have other business right now."

And, that said, he headed out the door.

Reluctantly, and with much complaining, Yuffie followed after him.

"Should I be helping?" Cid asked, glancing at Aerith. "Since, yeh know… Cloud ain't here…"

Aerith nodded. "We'll need all the help we can get. Riku?" She turned to Riku, who was sitting next to Namine on one of the couches. He glanced up.

"Wha- oh, yeah." He quickly rose to his feet. "I'm ready to go."

"I'll scream if I need anything," Namine laughed.

He smiled slightly, and drew his blade.

"Let's go," Aerith said.


	68. A Matter of Trust

hey, you should start checking my blog more frequently. I'm getting up about a post a day, actually. Idk if it might start being less once school starts again tomorrow... but... definitely try and check after I upload a chapter here. I'm going to TRY to have a little chapter commentary to go with each chapter. Maybe not... this chapter... though... i'm having trouble thinking straight (nuu! I can't be getting sick!)

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><p>"Let me get this straight," Cid said, driving his spear through a few Heartless. "Yeh didn't get <em>any<em> sleep last night?"

Riku shook his head, and then laughed. "I don't need nearly as much as sleep as you think I do," he explained, slicing through an advancing Soldier. "So I'm perfectly fine."

Cid yawned. "O'course…" he muttered.

Riku quickly rolled around to the back of a nearby Large Body and started attacking the crap out of it before it could turn around. Just before he could deliver the final blow, though, Yuffie's shuriken came flying out of nowhere and killed it. Riku frowned, and turned around.

"Oops! Sorry!" Yuffie exclaimed, as she caught her shuriken. "I'll go… somewhere else!"

And, very quickly, she ran off.

Riku raised his eyebrows, confused, but didn't question it. He turned, and quickly lunged forward to eliminate an Air Soldier that had been sneaking up on Aerith.

"Oh, thanks," she said turning to him, though she didn't sound entirely focused.

Riku simply nodded, and then headed back over to Cid.

"Is it just me?" he asked slowly. "Or does Aerith seem a little… off?"

"Eh?" Cid turned, watching as an attacking Heartless only narrowly missed Aerith. He shook his head and then just shrugged. "She gets like this all the time after Cloud leaves. She'll be okay."

"Okay…" Riku muttered, killing a couple of Shadows. Something occurred to him, then, and he turned back to Cid. "Are she and Cloud-"

"No," Cid replied quickly. "Why do people keep askin' me that! I mean, honestly, didn't Namine tell you that?"

Riku slowly shook his head. "No… the subject- it- it never came up."

"Oh, well, she asked 'bout it yesterday, while you were off fighting Heartless," Cid explained.

A small horde of Shadows attacked them then, and their attention was quickly drawn to getting rid of them. Thankfully, it didn't take too long.

"Was there anything else you guys talked about?" Riku found himself asking after a moment. He was slightly surprised that he had, but wasn't entirely sure why.

"Nah," Cid replied. "Jus' well… tha's private stuff."

Riku raised his eyebrows. He turned around to face Cid, who was conveniently looking the other way, focused on some Heartless in that direction.

"What… sort of private stuff?" he asked slowly.

"Private!" Cid snapped. "Probably something you don't need to be stickin' your nose in!"

"Oh…" Riku muttered.

But, he couldn't help but feel… hurt…

Was that even the right word?

_Does she… not trust me…?_ he found himself thinking, but instantly scolded himself for the thought.

_Of course she trusts me!_

_Just because Cid says that what they talked about was private-_

_Doesn't mean anything! Whatever it was, I probably already know, or it's not important enough to worry about._

_It's not like she knows EVERYTHING that happens in MY life._

_Besides, I'm sure if what she and Cid talked about was important, she'd have said something. And she didn't, so it obviously isn't important._

_Or, I already know about it._

He let out a deep breath, shook his head, and then resumed killing Heartless.

XXX

By the time they had gotten rid of all of the Heartless, the Sun was thinking of peeking up over the horizon, much to Yuffie's dismay. The moment they got back to Aerith's house, she promptly headed upstairs, declaring that she was going to go back to sleep.

"Hey, whatcha working on?" Riku asked, glancing over Namine's shoulder. Very quickly, she snapped her sketchbook shut.

"Nothing!" she exclaimed quickly. "Just… just nothing…" She glanced up at Riku, who looked very concerned, and then swallowed. "It's… it's not finished yet," she said, instead. "I don't want to show you until it's finished."

Riku made a face, but said nothing more.

_She really doesn't trust me!_ a part of his brain shouted, in outrage. Riku bit his lip, and angrily pushed that mindset aside.

_She just doesn't want me to see a picture._

_What does that have to do with trust?_

_And why do I even care!_

"Anyone want breakfast?" Aerith asked.

"Not hungry," Cid replied.

"I'll just have one of those muffins from yesterday…" Leon muttered.

Aerith turned to Namine and Riku. "What about you two?" she asked.

Namine got to her feet, and nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "We should… actually… probably get going," she said. "I think we've been gone long enough…"

Riku raised his eyebrows at that, but didn't argue.

"It's awfully early, though," Aerith said. "You sure-"

"Time doesn't… pass… in Castle Oblivion," Namine explained quickly. "Or, there's not significant night and day. And it's not like Replicas need a lot of sleep… so…"

Aerith frowned.

"Sorry," Namine muttered. "I just… really think we need to be heading back."

Quietly, Riku grabbed her hand. "What's wrong?" he whispered.

"There's been another raid," she replied. "And I think we only just _barely_ survived…"

Riku made a face.

"You two get going," Aerith laughed. "I understand. You're needed elsewhere. Thanks for your help here, though."

"It was no problem," Riku said. "I'll come back if I have some spare time I want to kill."

"You're always welcome here," Aerith replied.

Both Riku and Namine nodded, then Namine formed a dark corridor, and they were gone.

XXX

Sora appeared in Olympus Coliseum and almost immediately winced.

_Bright…_

_ This world is VERY bright…_

He shook his head and pocketed his star shard.

"Hey! Kid!" someone called. Sora turned, and found Phil walking over to him, looking as Phil always did: slightly annoyed.

"You can fight, right?" Phil continued, almost accusingly.

Sora nodded.

"Perfect!" Phil exclaimed. "I had some guy show up last minute, wanting to sign up for the games. And I couldn't just tell him no, because he's got quite the group of fans, and he's hardly ever around!"

"What does this have to do with me?" Sora asked, confused.

"The sides would have been unbalanced!" Phil said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "But luckily, _you_ showed up and balanced things out!"

"Uh- great-" Sora stammered, completely confused.

"Games are in five minutes, kid! Don't be late!" And with that, Phil turned on his heel and walked off.

Sora blinked a few times, unsure of what had just happened.

_Nice one… go and get myself signed up for something, and I'm not entirely sure what it is…_

He slowly turned to where Phil had walked off and shrugged.

_Might as well just head over there now…_ he sighed.

XXX

_I remember this now…_ he thought slowly, as he walked into the arena. The crowds were cheering around him. He waved at them, and then drew his blade. On the other side of the arena a few small Heartless appeared.

_I just kill the Heartless, work my way up to the finals…_ he thought, rushing forward.

_ Then I'll probably end up fighting whoever that last minute entry person was… it sounds like he's a good fighter. I just… wonder who he is…_

He turned and killed a Heartless that was sneaking up on him, which also happened to be the last Heartless around. The match ended, the crowd cheered-

_Shouldn't take too long,_ Sora laughed. _Then I'll find out._

XXX

_ It would be really funny if it were Riku,_ Sora thought suddenly, as he destroyed a Soldier. _I doubt it would be… he wouldn't have come here often enough to have fans…_

_ Not a large group, anyways._

Sora was then distracted by a Large Body, which nearly knocked him over. He managed to avoid the attack, only barely, and it hit the barrier, instead. He quickly started attacking it while it was stunned.

_"No!" _he could remember himself shouting. _"No! You can't be here!"_

He grimaced and shook his head, trying to clear it of the memory. He focused killing a Blue Rhapsody that was bothering him, instead.

_"At least I'm not just playing games," _Riku had taunted.

_"What are you even DOING here!"_ he had replied.

Sora paused a second, feeling the darkness in him beginning to fester. He made a face and quickly shoved it back into place, and then angrily took out another Blue Rhapsody.

_So stupid!_ he thought bitterly. _It doesn't act up for WEEKS, and then out of nowhere-_

_ And it's not like my Shadow's even around to be messing with it! It's just deciding to act up again, all because of some bad memory-_

He killed the last Heartless in the area, ending the match.

_One more round 'til the finals… _he told himself.

_I just have to hold on a bit longer…_


	69. Where's Your Honor?

hey- heyhey. You know what you should do? You should go find Bloodlust Orchestra by Two Steps from Hell, and then play it when a certain someone (i don't THINK i need to specifiy who) shows up. It makes things a tad more epic

* * *

><p>"Cloud!" Sora gasped in shock, as he caught sight of his opponent for the final round. Sure enough, Cloud stood there, blade bared, prepared for the battle. He seemed surprised to see Sora, but not too terribly so.<p>

"What are _you_ doing here?" Sora stammered.

"Looking for you," Cloud replied simply, and shrugged. "Now don't think about going easy on me."

Sora frowned, confused, and then grinned slightly as he understood. He summoned his blade and charged forward.

They were pretty evenly matched. Though, for all Sora knew, Cloud could've been going easy on _him._ They both used a lot of hack and slash method, but would throw in a magic attack every now and then. The magic was starting to get predictable, though, and was often blocked.

That is, except one time, when Sora somehow managed to miss and hit Cloud's feet instead, causing him to trip. This would have been a good time for Sora to go over and knock his blade out of his hand, declaring his victory, but he didn't.

Instead, Sora burst out laughing.

Cloud looked up at him, very confused, and slowly got back to his feet.

"I-I'm sorry-" Sora gasped, trying to compose himself. "I just- I couldn't- I-"

He didn't finish that thought. Cloud knocked him to the ground at this, and placed one foot on Sora's blade, pinning it to the ground. He slowly pointed his blade at Sora's chest, and laughed.

"You'll have to be quicker next time."

Sora made a face, though he was still trying to recover from his laughter.

"I suppose- I- I suppose I deserve that," he said.

Cloud smiled, and then reached out a hand to help Sora up. Sora took it, and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He banished his blade and dusted himself off. Cloud sheathed his sword. The crowd started cheering.

"Huh," Phil said from the sidelines. "Usually, they love a bit more battle..."

Cloud shrugged, as he headed out of the arena. "But sometimes, an act of friendship is appreciated even more," he said, and then stopped, turning to Sora, a faint smile on his face. "Zack told me that," he whispered. "And that's how I try to fight, every time I come here."

"That why you have so many fans?" Sora asked.

Cloud just shrugged again, and started walking. Sora hurried to keep up.

As they headed out to the Coliseum Gates, something occurred to Sora. He debated about whether or not he would actually say it, for saying it would be a very Joseph-like act. But… he couldn't resist-

"I bet most of them are girls," he muttered, though it was loud enough for Cloud to hear. He grinned.

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Probably not," he said. "Zack was the one with all the fangirls, not me."

"You two used to come and fight here a lot?" Sora asked, and then paused. "If you- you don't mind me asking, of course."

Cloud nodded. "Yeah… before he-" Cloud swallowed, and made a face. "It's a nice place to come and practice your fighting," he said instead. "Zack would always stay here for weeks at a time, just because someone had kicked him off the top of the chart."

Sora laughed slightly. From what he had heard of Zack, this wasn't much of a surprise.

But there was something else… stirring inside of him…

"It's your fault, isn't it?" he asked abruptly. "You're the reason he died."

Cloud stopped, shocked, and turned to face Sora. Quite a few emotions were running across his face: shock, anger, guilt. But guilt was the most prominent one.

And for some odd reason, upon noticing that, Sora grinned.

"And that's why you run," he continued. "That's why you're always running. Because you can't face it! You can never face it! And that's why you never stay in Hollow Bastion. Not because there's something else that needs to be done, not because there's another battle to be fought, but because you can't stand it!"

Cloud turned away. Sora's voice got even more excited, more pressing as he continued to talk, as if he was _enjoying _this.

As if he was _enjoying_ watching Cloud suffer.

And Cloud didn't have it in him to stop him, because he believed that what Sora was saying to be true, because he _knew_ that was the reason why he ran-

"You can't stand seeing Aerith look at you with those sad eyes," Sora continued, laughing now. "Because it forces you to remember _why_ she feels this way. Forces you to remember that it's _your_ fault, that _you're the_ reason she feels that way. Because if _you_ hadn't-"

Sora stopped suddenly, and what had been amusement fell quickly into horror.

"Cloud-" he gasped. "I didn't mean- I swear, I didn't even know what I was saying!"

Cloud, despite everything in him that didn't want to, turned back to Sora, and was surprised to find tears beginning to form in Sora's eyes.

"I am _so sorry_," Sora whispered, his voice catching slightly. "I _swear_ I didn't mean any of that! It just- It-"

Cloud reached out and placed a hand on Sora's shoulder.

"It's alright," he said. "I'm okay."

Sora shook his head and shrugged Cloud's hand off. "It's _not_ alright! I hardly even know you, and now I'm throwing crud at you like-"

His eyes widened with horror.

"No…" he whispered. "No…"

He turned, and in anguish shouted to the sky:

"WHAT DID YOU DO! WHAT DID YOU _DO TO ME! _I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME, NO MATTER WHERE IN THE WORLDS WHERE YOU ARE! SO ANSWER ME!"

For a moment, silence.

And then-

Laughter.

Cruel, and absolutely sickly amused laughter.

"You really should have fought me," Sora's Shadow laughed, flickering into sight off to the side. "You _really_ should have."

Sora's eyes narrowed in confusion. His Shadow just laughed.

"You honestly thought I was stalling? That I was just bored?" He burst out laughing. "Please! I was meddling with your darkness the entire time!" He stopped rather abruptly, eyes resting on Cloud. "He hasn't explained the process to you yet, has he?"

Cloud swallowed, as Sora slowly turned to look at him, too.

"I was going to warn you," he whispered. "Because you and your Shadow are currently in a state where you are constantly drawing essence from one another… one of you will become more like the other, within time…"

"Or, relatively soon," the Shadow said, with a grin. "I sped up the process a bit. Gave you a bit more of me than you probably wanted."

Sora clutched his chest.

His Shadow's grin only widened.

"You will become what you fear most," he explained, absolutely thrilled. "Someone like _me_. Someone who is hated by all, and loves to be hated as you so clearly said!" He chuckled a very dark chuckle. "Welcome to the world of dark insanity!"

And with a very quick flick of his wrist, the darkness inside Sora reared up. His Shadow grinned, and then with merely another flick of his wrist, Sora went flying, crashing into the wall on the other side of the area.

"I fixed that little problem, by the way," his Shadow called, and then flashed over to Sora, as if walking was beneath him. He bent down and pulled Sora up by the collar of his shirt and lifted him off the ground. "Not as much of a drain on my energy as it used to be."

Sora kicked and struggled, but his Shadow refused to let go of him, and a dark aura was beginning to surround them both.

"Sora!" Cloud shouted, and rushed forward, his blade prepared to strike-

Not even turning around, the Shadow knocked Cloud back.

"Still too weak, aren't you Cloud?" he laughed, and then dropped Sora and turned to where Cloud lay on the ground.

"Shut up!" Cloud screamed, staggering to his feet again. He started to strike again-

The Shadow blocked this time, not even bothering to pull out his blade. He simply stopped Cloud's sword with his bare hand.

"Careful there," he warned, with a sneer. "Trying to stop me from doing this could end up badly for you, as you should know _very_ well." Again, he pushed Cloud back. This time, though, Cloud skidded across the ground quite a few feet, and didn't get back up.

"Now, I'd absolutely _love_ to kill Sora, right here, right now, and force you to watch, just so you can have the guilt of another death on your conscience," the Shadow laughed, slowly walking over to Cloud, enjoying every moment of this. "But…" he sighed. "I still need him. So I guess I just have to do something else to keep you out of the way…"

And then he raised his hand high over his head and summoned his blade. He paused a second, and grinned his sick grin, and then brought his blade down _hard_, straight through Cloud's stomach, pinning him there.

Cloud screamed.


	70. A Painful Memory

I looked for music suggestions for this chapter (I'm on a tsfh kick!) but the best I could find was "Rising Darkness" (by two steps from hell) and even then, it only fits for the disorienting-ness of it...

sigh...

* * *

><p>And then he raised his hand high over his head and summoned his blade. He paused a second, and grinned his sick grin, and then brought his blade down <em>hard<em>, straight through Cloud's stomach, pinning him there.

Cloud screamed.

The Shadow stood there for a moment more and watched as Cloud writhed in pain. He grinned.

"Oh Cloud," he laughed. "Poor, poor Cloud. Been dabbling in the darkness too long, haven't you? You must've, if you can see me."

Cloud's only reply was his cries of pain.

"Leave him- alone-" Sora gasped.

His Shadow slowly turned. Sora was staggering to his feet, though he ended up collapsing more than once. When he finally managed to get to his feet, he drew his blade and trudged forward, a fierce glare in his eyes.

"First you make me start ragging on him for things that happened in his past that- that I-I-" Sora stopped and clutched his chest, as his darkness wrenched at his heart. He made a face, regained his composure, and continued: "That are none of my business. Things that I'm sure he doesn't want to think about anymore and then- then you- ahg!" He stopped again, crumpling to his knees this time. "Then you go and _stab_ him-" he gasped.

The Shadow rolled his eyes. "He's been through worse," he muttered.

"I don't _care_!" Sora snapped. He tried to get back up, but stumbled again, this time his blade fell out of his hands and vanished.

"Damn you're weak!" his Shadow laughed. "I mean, seriously, I hardly even _touched_-"

"Shut up!"

"_Shut up_," the Shadow replied, his voice mocking. He then clenched his hand into a fist and pulled, causing Sora to fall flat on his face. Sora groaned, but instantly felt sorry for it. Cloud, who had been silent for a bit, suddenly let out another gasp of pain.

Anger flared through Sora, and he rolled to the side. Before his Shadow knew what he was doing, he was running to Cloud-

He never got there.

His vision suddenly went fuzzy, and then it warped the scene around him. Suddenly, he was reliving a moment from only a minute ago, but it was different. It was like he was watching the scene play out before him, instead of actually living it. This was, however, ten times worse.

It was disorienting, for starters. The scene refused to stay in one area, and kept flashing around, focusing on random things and then warping them before his eyes. It was also very painful. He felt his own pain, and his own frantic thoughts. But he also caught thoughts coming from his Shadow, and an unbearable pain in his stomach; probably what Cloud was feeling.

_"Things that I'm sure he doesn't want to think about anymore!"_ he heard himself shout.

His Shadow laughed, but for the life of him he couldn't tell if it was coming from the memory or if his Shadow was actually laughing. The laughter was clearer than everything else, though.

"Looks like _you_ have something, too," his Shadow sneered.

Sora was vaguely aware of his Shadow grabbing onto something and pulling, and in response to that a memory in the depths of Sora's heart roared to life. Whatever wall that had previously been holding the memory back now shattered like glass, and the memory flooded out from its cage and plunged Sora into it, forcing him to relive it.

_"Sora…" Kairi whispered. "I- I'm scared…"_

_ He slowly smiled. "Don't worry," he told her, reaching out and gently cupping her cheek in his hand. "I'm not going to let anything hurt you. Promise."_

_ She stared at him for a second, looking absolutely terrified. But, after a moment, she smiled too. Sora couldn't help but notice that the smile seemed a bit forced, though, and his own smile wavered._

_ 'I've got to do something…' he thought, but it might have been the darkness within him thinking through him. 'I can't have her worrying about me… but… what can I do?'_

_ He took a moment more to think about it, and then:_

_ 'I could kiss her…'_

_ He almost laughed at that. Almost._

_ Kairi turned away._

_ Sora closed his eyes for a second, confused as heck. It wasn't like the thought of kissing her had NEVER crossed his mind before. It just didn't cross his mind often, and every time it did, he would laugh at it, thinking it stupid. It wasn't like he and Kairi were THAT close._

_ Except now… he was actually considering doing it._

_ 'Would it… help me?' he wondered._

_ 'It would certainly surprise her, and maybe that would be just enough to-'_

_ He paused, and swallowed._

_ 'But is that what I want?'_

_ Whether Sora actually wanted this or not didn't really matter. The darkness inside of him was desperate for ANY possible way to get Kairi to stop worrying. And maybe this would work. It wasn't a high chance, but it couldn't hurt to try-_

"STOP!" Sora shouted, and then gasped in shock as the memory released him. He stayed there for a moment, on his hands and knees, breathing heavily. He closed his eyes, feeling tears threatening to fall.

"I- I didn't-" he gasped. "It didn't actually-"

He gagged, whatever food that was still left in his stomach threatening to come back up. He felt terribly sick. The flashback thing had been disorienting enough, but that wasn't at all the reason why. He took a few deep breaths, trying to steady his stomach, not wanting to puke. But there was a horrible feeling inside him. His heart was sick, his stomach was-

He gagged again.

"Damn!" his Shadow laughed. "No need to get sick on me! That would be disgusting…"

"OH SHUT UP!" Sora snapped, glancing up. His Shadow stood above him, a look of pure amusement etched onto his face.

Sora turned away again. "You know why I feel sick…" he whispered, and then moaned.

"Mmm…" the Shadow muttered to himself, and then closed his eyes, thinking over the rest of the memory. Something between an amused grin and shocked confusion grew on his face and his eyes flew open.

"Idiot!" he scolded, laughing slightly in disbelief. "You were _so close!_ Why the hell didn't you kiss her! Idiot! _Idiot!_ I mean, do you even _realize_ what could have happened if you had?"

"Yeah," Sora replied tensely. "And that's why I'm glad I _didn't_!"

"No, no…" his Shadow sighed, his voice as kind as it had ever sounded. "You're completely missing the point here! It wouldn't have turned out as you think it would have. It would have been- aw, damn… it would have been so… so amazing…"

Sora's head snapped up in shock, disgust working its way onto his face. His Shadow sounded… wistful. This sort of emotion would have surprised Sora, had this been any other moment, but _now_? Especially considering the subject…

His Shadow was getting this way thinking about Kairi.

_Kairi._

Anger raged through Sora and he quickly jumped to his feet.

"You're freaking sick and disgusting!" he shouted.

"Really?" his Shadow laughed. "Just _really_? I'd like to hear you tell me that if you had actually let it happen. I mean, do you _realize_ how-"

He didn't get to finish that sentence. In rage, Sora had punched him square in the jaw. He silently cursed himself for letting his thoughts drift a bit too close to her, remembering that Sora could pick up on _his_ thoughts, too. He quickly straightened, and wasn't at all surprised to find that Sora had pulled his blade and was aiming it at his chest.

"Don't you _dare_ touch Kairi!" Sora hissed. "Don't even go anywhere _near_ her. I don't want you talking to her, I don't even want you _thinking_ about her, got it?"

His Shadow burst out laughing.

"You're kidding me, right?" he asked.

In response to that, Sora struck.


	71. Fleeing Darkness

i don't think i need an authors note. my authors notes will be mainly over in my blog now, because I always think of so much to say... (and then promptly forget)

I will say, though, Tifa was being VERY talkative the other morning and forced me to write this. So you can thank her for just about all of it

* * *

><p>She had been wandering the Worlds for a while now. Her clothes, though black, were completely dirty. Her dark brown hair was slightly tattered, and her deep brown eyes were weary. The bag she had slung over her shoulder, though small, looked incredibly heavy.<p>

It had been a _very_ tiring day for her.

She knew that Cloud was in trouble, and that he needed her help, but she was having an awfully hard time finding out _where_, exactly, he was.

By the time she had walked into the area, Sora and his Shadow were engaged in a fierce battle. Sora was attacking again and again, too angry to care properly. His Shadow was only barely holding him off, though he was only using his chains. His blade was still with Cloud.

However, she could only see about half of this battle. And if she had bothered to watch it, she would have found it quite an interesting sight. For, to her eyes, it appeared as if Sora was fighting thin air, nothing more.

Except, her eyes were only for Cloud.

He was lying away from the battle, remaining very still. A small groan of pain escaped his lips, but nothing more. And though she was a good distance away from him, she could see blood, and plenty of it.

Panic flooded through her.

"Cloud!" she gasped, rushing over to him. She skidded to a halt and sunk to her knees beside him, dropping her bag a she did so. She grimaced at the wound, but was relieved to find that he was breathing.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Stabbed…" he replied, voice slightly strangled.

"_Again_!" she exclaimed. "Gosh, Cloud, how many times is this going to happen to you!"

"Tifa…" Cloud groaned.

"Oh! Sorry!" Tifa laughed, and started to cast Cure.

"No wait!" Cloud gasped. "The blade's- still there-"

Tifa frowned, concerned.

"Cloud," she said kindly. "There's no blade there…"

"Yes there is! You just- you can't see it! But it's- it's still there-"

"Alright, alright…" Tifa muttered, and started feeling the air above the wound blindly, hoping that she would find the invisible blade that Cloud spoke of. But before she found it, the air suddenly wavered, and he let out gasp of pain.

"It's gone!" he said quickly. "Go ahead! It's gone!"

She didn't need to be told twice. She quickly cast Cure, and then after a moment cast it again. Then, very carefully, she placed her hands on the wound. Cloud winced, but did his best to stifle the scream.

"Don't squirm!" Tifa scolded. "I'm not nearly as good as Aerith is at this!"

Cloud only moaned in response.

Tifa rolled her eyes and set about casting a stronger healing spell.

XXX

Sora's Shadow quickly ducked out of the way of Sora's blade, swearing as he did so. He grimaced, but realized he couldn't keep this up much longer. Again, he swore, and summoned his blade back to him, even though he _really_ didn't want to do so.

However, whoever that girl was who had just shown up was giving him a headache.

And it was certainly not the good kind of headache that Kairi gave him.

He was having trouble seeing straight at the moment, even though she wasn't nearly as bright as Kairi was. However, he had been feeding off of Cloud's energy… and now Cloud was feeding off of hers…

Thus, he was getting more light than normal, as he did his best to avoid this stuff around Kairi. And, theoretically, he could've avoided this headache, too…

But without proper preparation, and not enough time to _do_ said preparation…

And the fact that Sora was attacking him like a madman wasn't helping matters, either.

"Dammit," he whispered, only barely managing to get his blade up to block Sora's in time.

_This would be such a LOVELY time to feed off of Sora's hatred…_

_But to get the most out of it, I would have to concentrate… and concentrating is a problem at the moment…_

Sora struck, and managed to knock him back quite-a-ways. He swore yet again, and tried to find his balance. He found it, however, being knocked back put him even closer to Tifa, and his headache started growing worse.

Sora screamed, and rushed forward-

It was an odd feeling, that flooded through the Shadow right there and then. His head hurt, and there was a disorienting amount of light coming from Tifa. But Sora's anger was feeding him, and he could feel his form flicker, starting to become more real. It didn't last long, but-

As he only narrowly dodged Sora's blade, he realized something.

Tifa was worried about Cloud.

And despite trying to remain humorous about it, she was _very_ annoyed and very, _very_ angry.

_And if my form's starting to become more real…_

_It won't be long before she can see me…_

_Especially with Sora throwing all this anger at me…_

…

_Shit._

He knew very well that if Tifa were to see him, and learn that he had been the one to hurt Cloud, he would be in _very_ big trouble. There probably wasn't much that Tifa could do to him, except punch his guts out. But _that…_ plus Sora…

He grimaced.

And though it was definitely not the bravest thing he would ever do, he quickly disappeared from there. Sora's hate would still reach him from afar, even though it would be significantly weaker. But his life was more important, he decided, and he did his best not to regret this moment later.

XXX

Sora watched his Shadow go and grimaced. He thought about yelling after him, but then thought against it. His anger was slowly fading. Not entirely, though, and he still was very angry with his Shadow for thinking that way about Kairi. However, yelling at his Shadow now would be completely pointless.

So, he banished his blade.

"Tifa, I'm alright!" Cloud exclaimed.

Sora turned, and raised his eyebrows. In his rage, he hadn't bothered to notice Tifa show up. Currently, though, she was helping Cloud sit up. Sora let out a small sigh of relief, glad to see that Cloud was alright. He headed over there, curious if there was anything that he could do to help.

"Is he alright?" he asked, once he was close.

Tifa only cast a glance up at him. "Don't worry, this isn't the first time this has happened to him," she laughed. "Isn't that right, Cloud?"

Cloud merely grunted.

She rolled her eyes and turned back to Sora. "He doesn't like to talk about it," she sighed, and then grinned. "By the way, my name's Tifa. What's yours?"

"Sora."

"Are you a friend of Cloud's?"

Sora nodded. "Yeah, we met in Hollow Bastion," he explained.

Tifa laughed. "Of course," she muttered. "Aerith found you, then."

Again, Sora nodded.

There was silence for a moment, as Tifa studied him intently. Sora stood there, awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

"You've struggled with the darkness, haven't you?" she said finally.

Sora swallowed.

"Sorry," she muttered, and suddenly looked really embarrassed. "I shouldn't have been so up front about that. But- it- it's in your eyes… hard to ignore."

"It's alright," Sora assured her.

"Okay," Tifa said, and turned back to Cloud. He hadn't moved an inch, though probably because it was painful to do so. She reached out and pushed part of his torn shirt aside, examining the wound again. She grimaced.

"This wasn't even the worst one…" she sighed. "And yet I'm having trouble getting it to heal…"

"There might have been darkness in that," Sora shrugged. "It wouldn't be much of a surprise."

"Ah," Tifa muttered. "I suppose that _would_ explain it. And if that _is_ the case, I should stop trying to heal it and just bandage it up." She laughed to herself then, and reached into her bag. "I wondered why I dragged this along with me," she chuckled, as she pulled out an old and tattered traveling cloak. "I guess this is why."

"Tifa!" Cloud said quickly. "You don't have to-"

It was too late. She had already torn it in half.

Cloud groaned. Sora tried not to laugh. Tifa just shrugged.

"I needed a new one anyway," she said. She turned to Cloud then, and frowned.

"What?" Cloud asked.

"Your shirt's in the way…" she muttered.

"_What!_" he exclaimed, his cheeks growing red with embarrassment.

Tifa just nodded. "C'mon! Shirt, off!" she ordered.

"Tifa," Cloud protested. "I'd rather not-"

"Cloud," Tifa interrupted, sweetly, though a tad annoyed. "I can't bandage a wound on your stomach if you don't take your shirt off!"

"But my shirt's all torn! Won't that be-"

"Nope, just take it off."

There was silence for a moment. Cloud made a face. "Tifa," he said slowly. "I am not going to take my shirt off."

She rolled her eyes. "Cloud, you're being ridiculous! It's all disgusting with blood! Just take it off!"

"But-"

"Now!"

Cloud sighed, and then reluctantly pulled his shirt off. He winced slightly as he did so, but it was probably a hard task when he was still in pain. Tifa quickly took the shirt from him and tossed it aside, and then set about bandaging the wound. Cloud sat there patiently while she did so, though he didn't look entirely happy about it.

XXX

Tifa was finished within the next five minutes. Looking slightly relieved, Cloud reached for his shirt again. Tifa slapped his hand away before he could grab it, and then tossed the shirt to Sora.

"Do something about that, will you?" she called.

Sora made a face, but went ahead and disposed of the shirt. By the time he came back, Tifa had handed Cloud another shirt, and he was currently struggling to get it on. Tifa was examining her gloves with a look of disgust.

"There went this pair of gloves," she sighed.

"I'll buy you a new pair," Cloud said, as he tried again to get his shirt on, and again had much difficulty. Tifa watched him struggle for a second, and then laughed and helped him out.

Sora stood there, feeling a tad awkward and out of place. He waited until Cloud had his shirt back on, and then said:

"Really sorry about earlier… I honestly didn't mean-"

Cloud raised his hand, stopping him. "Sora, just don't worry about it. I know well enough what the darkness does to people."

"That's true," Tifa laughed. "What was it you mentioned? Nearly killing Zack or something?"

Cloud flushed with embarrassment. "It's not like I _meant_ to-" he protested.

Sora laughed.

"To put it simply," Cloud sighed. "Hades, the God of the Dead in this world-"

"Watch out for him," Tifa warned. "He's nasty."

Cloud frowned slightly at her for the interruption, and then continued: "Tricked me into thinking I had to kill Zack. I tried to use darkness to do so… but it just backfired," he laughed then. "Everything else worked out, though. I realized then just what a burden the darkness was, and I don't think me and Zack would be as good of friends as we were if it hadn't happened."

"That's good, then," Sora said.

Tifa nodded. "C'mon, Cloud," she said, rising to her feet and then helping him do the same. "We should get going."

"We?" Cloud asked. "But I thought you were heading to Hollow Bastion. Aerith said-"

"You got hurt," Tifa interrupted simply. "And that is _much_ more important. I'm sure Aerith understands."

Cloud started to protest, but Tifa was already leading him off.

Sora reached into his pocket for his star shard as he watched them walk away. They were going at a rather slow pace, but Cloud was probably still in a lot of pain. Sora made a face, knowing that that was partially his fault.

Speaking of which…

"Hey, Cloud?" Sora called.

Cloud turned around, eyebrows raised. Sora ran over to him.

"It's not… _really_ your fault, is it?" he whispered, eyes briefly meeting with Cloud's. Cloud's eyes were as intense as they always were, and also filled with much sorrow. He turned away.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he muttered, and then turned and walked off.

Tifa rolled her eyes. "Typical," she sighed. She then turned to Sora and flashed him a smile. "Keep him in your thoughts, will you?" she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I don't _think_ it was his fault, none of us do, but… he seems to have a problem believing that."

Sora nodded.

"I have a feeling you can help him," Tifa continued.

"I'm not sure how," Sora laughed.

Tifa laughed, too, and squeezed his shoulder before letting go. "Just keep him in your thoughts. Maybe someday it will get through to him."

And with that, she ran after Cloud.

Sora rubbed his shoulder, wincing slightly.

_Bright…_

_ She is VERY bright…_


	72. Quick! Run!

sorry for the slightly long wait for an update. I meant to upload this sooner, but I kept getting distracted.. =P

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><p>"Well, I'm glad things didn't go too terribly," Riku muttered. 29 had just informed him of how things had gone during his absence. Joseph was currently bragging about how he was a hero, though Riku had long since tuned him out. Namine was probably the only one still listening, and only with mild interest.<p>

"It's a pity 37 and that Larxene Replica escaped," Riku sighed.

Joseph stopped abruptly. "Actually, it's probably a good thing," he said, and made a face. "They were being gross…"

29 frowned. "Were you hacking the security cameras again?" he asked, turning to Joseph skeptically.

Joseph shook his head. "No way!" he exclaimed. "And even if I _did_, why would I be looking at _that_? I mean- ew- that's just-" he shuddered. "They were being gross when I found them in the computer room," he explained. "And it was disturbing…"

"Wait, they're _seriously-_" Riku began, and then stopped, making a face similar to Joseph's. "That's just… really… awkward, if you think about it-"

"I know!"

The conversation continued, but Namine had found it hard to care anymore. She had noticed 19, who was sitting on a nearby couch, holding his face in his hands. She frowned, and then headed over and sat down next to him.

"Hey," she whispered. "Are you alright?"

"Ah! Miss Namine!" 19 exclaimed, glancing up in shock. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. "Forgive me," he muttered. "I don't mean to-"

"What's wrong?" Namine interjected before he could finish.

"This last raid was hard on me, that's all," 19 replied. "We lost 22, which is painful enough." He was silent for a second, and then added: "We were part of a set. There was me, 20, 21, 22, and 23. 20 failed shortly after creation, 21 joined Saix, 22 was just-" he swallowed, not wanting to finish that thought. He shook his head and then said: "And 23's been acting weird lately… it's… hard…"

"I- I'm sorry," Namine stuttered, not sure of how to properly respond to that.

"And to make things _worse_," 19 continued. "Tulip was the one who killed him! _Tulip!_ That stupid Larxene L went and kidnapped him, and then 37 rewrote him and- I mean- I know Tulip had his quirks but-" He sighed. "It's hard on me. I helped build a lot of Replicas. And seeing one of them like _that_…" he trailed off.

Namine sat there, silent, unsure of what to say or even if she _should_ say anything.

"I'm sorry," 19 said after a moment. "I didn't mean to spew all of that at you."

Namine laughed then, slightly, and shook her head. "It's alright, go ahead and spew," she told him. "I don't mind."

"Well, I'm glad," 19 laughed. "I would have felt bad if you had minded." He turned to her then, and raised his eyebrows slightly. "But, perhaps, you have something on your mind, too?"

She blushed and fingered the edge of her skirt nervously.

"Well, I- I'm just- confused," she whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I've noticed something lately, when I'm around Riku-"

"Did I hear my name?"

Namine glanced up in shock as Riku walked over. She quickly looked down to hide the fact that her cheeks were absolutely red with embarrassment. "It's nothing!" she said quickly. "Nothing! Just- just nevermind…"

Riku frowned, concerned. She stole a glance up at him, but turned away again, ashamed. How was she supposed to explain this to him? Could she even talk to him about it? It would be so _awkward._

"You sure?" Riku asked, sitting down next to her.

She nodded.

"You can tell me later," 19 whispered, and then smiled. "I'll leave you two alone." And then he rose to his feet and walked off.

"What was that about?" Riku laughed.

Despite the turmoil of emotions running through her, Namine laughed, too. "Nothing," she said, trying her best to keep her voice from betraying her feelings. "He was just talking about how he felt about Tulip being Reprogrammed."

Riku nodded, understanding. A small pang of guilt surged through Namine. She felt bad for not telling the entire truth, but-

"I wonder how bad it is…" Riku sighed.

"It sounds bad," Namine whispered. She had heard very little, though. But 19's feelings had shaken her, and the thought itself wasn't pleasant. She would imagine that if the same had been done to her- then-

That thought wasn't a pleasant one, either.

She didn't have to think about it, though. Riku had suddenly hopped to his feet and brought his blade up to block a scythe. Namine gasped and turned around. Tulip stood there, though he didn't look the same. Gone was the confused and frantic look in his eyes, it had been replaced, and his eyes were narrowed in anger.

"Namine!" Riku gasped, glancing over at her. He was still holding Tulip back. "You should get out of here! It's not safe!" He managed to push Tulip away, then, and rushed forward to attack.

Namine nodded, though it was probably pointless, and quickly got to her feet. She did steal one glance around the room though, before she left. Joseph was hacking away at a Vexen Replica with his wooden sword so that he wouldn't notice Amaryllis. 19 was fighting a Larxene Replica, though he looked more worried than angry. His eyes darted over in her direction once, and Namine frowned, finding this odd. He was shouting something, but she still couldn't understand what.

She stood there a second more, trying to decipher it. That, was, however, her mistake. For by the time she tried to form a dark corridor, something hit her from behind. She let out a gasp that was between surprise and pain, and the dark corridor shorted out. She made a face, bit her lip so she wouldn't gasp again as to not worry Riku, and then formed another dark corridor.

But it didn't come.

It shorted out, just like the last one.

_What the-?_ she thought, and then gasped in surprise.

Lightning was dancing across her fingertips, very faintly. Again, though as an experiment mainly, she tried to form a dark corridor. The lightning flowed with it and then canceled it out.

"Crap," she whispered. She shook her head, though, and started to run.

She stumbled before she got far, and fell to her knees and clutched her side.

Now she understood what 19 had been saying.

Run.

Quick, before it's too late.

Get out of here!

_Shoot,_ Namine thought. _Shoot shoot shoot shoot!_

She could feel it now, the lightning surging through her. It wasn't enough to be extremely painful, but definitely enough to be disorienting. She couldn't form a dark corridor. She couldn't run. And as she started to call for Riku, she realized that her words wouldn't come out either.

An unbelievable amount of pain washed through her, then. It was like someone had taken the lightning inside of her and made it ten times worse. She collapsed with the pain, and a small scream escaped her lips.

_"No! Please!"_ she could hear Riku shout, from the depths of her mind. He sounded absolutely terrified, and she shuddered._ "I- I didn't mean-"_

_ His voice was lost in his cries of pain as another lightning bolt struck._

_ "Stop!" he screamed._

Namine found herself screaming with him. The pain didn't lessen, though, and the only response was laughter. The cruel laughter from the memory echoed within her brain, but soon she realized it wasn't only inside her head.

Someone really _was_ laughing.

"Oh my," they laughed, voice sickly sweet. "Did I hit you? I swear, I didn't mean to. Here, let me help-"

Namine's eyes opened wide in shock as a hand closed around her arm. She glanced up, finding Larxene L there. Quickly, she pushed herself into a sitting position and wrenched her arm away.

"Get away you-" she shouted, but the rest was stifled. Larxene L had covered her mouth.

"Now, now," she hissed. "No need for that. I don't need Riku worrying about you." She pulled Namine to her feet with ease, despite Namine's struggling. "Don't worry," she laughed. "I promise it won't hurt!"

A larger amount of lightning surged through Namine then, and her thoughts began to blur. She screamed, though her consciousness soon faded.

Her scream, though muffled, _did_ catch Riku's attention, however. He turned in shock, and was hit in the side by Tulip's scythe as a result. He ignored that, though. His attention was only on Namine, who was now dangling limply in Larxene L's grasp.

"No!" he shouted, rushing forward and stabbing-

-his blade was blocked by 37's shield.

"Let me _through_!" he screamed, bringing his blade crashing down hard on the shield. 37 didn't even flinch.

"You will hurt her," 37 whispered.

"I-" Riku began.

"You are _not_ taking another one!" 19 shouted, interrupting him. He was storming forward, eyes fixed angrily on Larxene L. "You already took Tulip! I will not allow you to take anyone else!"

Larxene L laughed. "Really now?"

And then she maneuvered herself so the unconscious Namine was between her and 19. 19 stopped dead in his tracks, disgust on his face.

"You are _cruel_," he hissed.

"'Fraid so!" Larxene L chuckled, and formed a dark corridor-

"NAMINE!" Riku screamed, and shoved 37 aside, dropping his blade as he did so. He lunged forward and grabbed Namine, gently pulling her out of Larxene L's grasp. Before anyone could react, he and Namine were gone.

XXX

They reappeared in her room. Riku stood there for a moment, holding her close, not wanting to let go. His heart was still racing from the shock, and he was shaking slightly with fear. A small amount of anger was rushing through him, but it was drowned in his relief.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, though he knew she couldn't hear. "I shouldn't have- I- I don't want to lose you."

He touched his forehead to hers and squeezed his eyes shut.

"I wish I could be here for you when you wake up," he breathed. "But I can't. I want to- though- I want to, I swear, I just…" He trailed off. After a moment he sighed and then gently laid her down on her bed.

"I'll be back as soon as I can."


	73. crueL

blasted L! Blasted 37!

lol, i feel like Vexen...

anyways, sorry for the lack of updating, I've had a major amount of... well... it's NOT writers block. I know what I'm doing, it's just I keep focusing on other things instead of writing... =P

which reminds me, even though the updates are lacking, you might want to check my blog. I seem to have something to post THERE often enough...

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><p>Needless to say, he was in a <em>very<em> foul mood when he returned to the Main Room. Many people asked if Namine was okay, but he hardly heard them. He was only focused on one thing: Larxene L. Currently, she was on the other side of the room, trying to get Joseph away from her. He was whacking her with his wooden sword repetitively and shouting insults at her.

Riku scowled, and quickly made his way over. No one got in his way. Well, no one except a random Berserker (which was quickly disposed of).

"Jerk!" Joseph was shouting. "Lousy, filthy, good for nothing-" He emphasized each insult by hitting her with the sword. She kept shooting lightning bolt after lightning bolt at Joseph, but he was miraculously avoiding all of them.

"You're just an old hag!" Joseph laughed, as he dodged another lightning bolt.

"That's it!" she screeched. "I have had enough of you-" she shoved Joseph aside. He landed on the ground hard, dropping his wooden sword. She smirked and picked it up. "Oh look," she sneered. "You got another one. How- ah!"

Riku grabbed her by the wrist, tore Joseph's sword away from her, and then twisted her arm. She gasped in pain, but bit her lip to stifle it. He glared, fury burning in his eyes. Swiftly, he drew his blade and aimed it at her throat. She flinched away.

"What did you _do_ to her?" he hissed.

"Oh, nothing serious," Larxene L replied with a laugh. The laugh was very tentative, though. She eyed Riku warily. His eyes narrowed, and ever so slowly, he brought the tip of his blade closer to her neck, piercing her skin slightly; just enough to draw blood.

"I- I swear-" she stammered. "Only a bit of lightning, th-that's all. Nothing more. I- I wouldn't have done anything to actually _harm_ her!" She laughed then, though it was nervous. "That would have been _stupid_!"

"I don't believe you," Riku spat. "And I've had enough experiences with lightning to know that you can't knock anyone unconscious with it!"

A jolt of lightning shot through him, then, and he gasped, letting go of Larxene L. She smirked. He grimaced and moved his fingers slightly, as if to get the lightning to stop cackling around them.

"Of course you can!" Larxene L sneered, sounding all too excited, now. "If you just manipulate the electrical current on which the lightning flows and say… send it to a slightly critical part of the brain, well," she laughed. "It can knock _any_one out! Or do something _more_ fatal, if you were to put enough lightning into it."

Riku, not at all liking what he was hearing, struck. However, his blade was blocked by 37's shield. His eyes widened in shock, wondering how 37 had gotten there so fast. His shock was quickly replaced by anger, though, as he realized this was the _second_ time 37 had done this to him.

He gritted his teeth and put more force on his blade, watching with small amusement as 37 struggled to keep his weight back.

"Why are you trying so hard to protect her?" Riku spat. "And why _her?_ What makes her different from all the other Larxene Replicas?"

37's eyes narrowed. "I don't see why it matters to you," he said slowly, shifting slightly so he was in a better position. He then quickly shoved Riku back and shot an icicle at him. The icicle hit him full on and knocked him to the ground, sending his blade flying out of his reach.

Panic shot through Riku and he quickly fought to get to his feet again, or at least get his blade back. However, before he could do either, a foot was placed firmly on his chest, pinning him to the ground. He glared up at Larxene L, hatred boiling in him. She laughed.

"Leave him alone!" Joseph screamed, rushing forward. Larxene L glanced over at him and rolled her eyes. She sighed, unpinned Riku, and then reached out and stopped Joseph with her hand. He squirmed for a moment, but she threw him back. While he was reeling, she sent a lightning bolt at him, which knocked him off his feet. He didn't get back up.

Larxene L turned her attention back to Riku. He had rolled over onto his side while she had been dealing with Joseph. She kicked him hard in the stomach, forcing him to roll back onto his back. He grimaced, but didn't try and move again.

She bent down and hissed in his ear: "You're scared of me, aren't you?" There was laughter in her voice as she said this, and it sent a shiver down Riku's spine.

"I am _not_," he replied forcefully. She only laughed and kicked him again.

"Don't lie," she spat. "And don't forget we still have access to all your memories. I _know_ how you feel-"

"Shut up!" he yelled.

She shot a bolt of lightning at him. He winced in pain, but bit his lip to prevent himself from screaming and waited a couple agonizing seconds until the lightning died down. During those agonizing seconds, 37 summoned a large amount of Berserkers and sent them on everyone else in the room.

"It was so nice of Saix to at least grant you the ability to summon _them_," Larxene L called.

37 snorted. "Nice? It took a fair amount of convincing," he replied, and then sent an icicle over at an unsuspecting 19. The unsuspecting 19 let out a gasp of shock and turned to yell at 37, but a Berserker demanded his attention before he could actually say anything.

Riku quietly grabbed his blade, trying not to draw attention to himself. Larxene L noticed him, though, and sent another lightning bolt at him to stop him. He dropped his blade in shock and cringed slightly.

"Don't _move_," she commanded. He squeezed his eyes shut, doing his best to ignore the lightning. And then, just to spite her, he picked up his blade again. He watched with small satisfaction as her nostrils flared with anger.

The satisfaction was, however, short lived. She stepped on his hand, and he let out a gasp of pain and dropped his blade. She kicked it across the room, and then stepped on his hand again. White hot pain shot through his arm as a few of his fingers snapped; he had to focus really, _really_ hard to avoid screaming.

"Is Alpha distracted?" she called to 37, her eyes not once leaving Riku's face. She was enjoying every second of him trying to contain his pain.

"Unless he can take down four Berserkers at once, yes," 37 replied.

Larxene L grinned, and then glanced over at Alpha. Sure enough, he was surrounded by Berserkers. While she was distracted, Riku quickly sat up and started to cradle his injured hand. Before he could, though, Larxene L grabbed him by the wrist with one hand, and then forced him to the ground with the other. She sent a few small jolts of lightning through him, and then placed his hand on the ground. She uncurled his fingers from the fist they were trying to make and spread them out, being as rough about it as possible. Then she summoned one of her knives and drove it through the center of his hand, pinning it to the ground.

"Just in case you get any ideas about getting up later," she sneered, and then grinned and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, yanking him upwards.

"What- what do you w-want with me?" Riku stuttered, his words coming out slurred. Lightning was surging through his brain at the moment. Not a lot, but just enough to be disorienting. He could feel his thoughts trying to go fuzzy.

"For you to be quiet, just for a few minutes," Larxene L hissed in his ear. "So that _I_ can capture your precious Namine, and 37 can take care of the Program while everyone else is distracted," she giggled then, absolutely thrilled by the idea. "Oh, relax kiddo," she assured him as she dropped him back onto the ground. "I promise I'm not going to hurt her…" She grinned wickedly. "_That_ much."

Riku opened his mouth to yell at her, but she was already gone.

Besides, everything hurt too much.

And his consciousness was getting fuzzy, anyway…


	74. Don't Call me That!

Sorry it's so short. However, this is the start of a 6000 word scene/conversation/chain of events that has ABSOLUTELY no breaks.

why?

I don't know. Everyone wanted to tie things together for some odd reason...

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><p>It was the pain that kept him awake. His consciousness absolutely <em>refused<em> to shut itself down while there was so much pain bothering it. So he stayed awake. He did, however, spend a few painful moments between unconsciousness and consciousness, while his brain _tried_ to shut itself off. Finally, though, the pain bothered it enough that it just gave up, allowing Riku to properly think.

It took him a moment to think, though. He was still rather disoriented, and the pain was… well… painful. He tried to move his fingers, and then he remembered what had happened. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, concentrating all his strength into ignoring than pain, if only just for a bit. Once the pain had been ignored, he carefully reached over and pulled the knife out. A sharper pain than the rest coursed through him for a second, but he ignored it, too.

He lay there a moment more, moving his arm experimentally. It moved. His hand… not so much…

He grimaced.

Then, very slowly, he sat up and glanced around. There were still plenty of Berserkers about. No one seemed to have noticed that he had even been down. He frowned, unsure what to think of this.

He decided he just wouldn't, and instead focused on finding his blade.

It was all the way on the other side of the room.

He sighed and summoned it to him. Or… tried to. His fingers did not perform the action quite like they usually did, so the blade didn't come. He grimaced and tried again. His fingers _still_ didn't cooperate, but… the blade did actually obey this time. However, he ended up dropping it.

He made a face and picked it back up.

It hurt too much to hold, and he dropped it again.

He made another, more annoyed, face, and then picked it up with his left hand. It felt weird, but he figured that it was the best he was going to get. He then rose to his feet, sticking his blade in the ground so that he could use it as support as he stood up. He took care to cradle his right arm close to him, just so he wouldn't use it on accident.

There was only one thought on his mind.

_I have to protect Namine,_ he told himself firmly, and started off.

XXX

"_Relax, kiddo, I don't think it's going to hurt that much!"_

_Larxene, laughing…_

_Terror-_

_Why was he so scared-_

It was that fragment of memory that dragged Namine into a state of semi-consciousness, where she wasn't quite awake, but not entirely asleep any more either. And it was in that state that she became aware of a sharp pain burning in her right hand. She grimaced and tried to ignore it.

It was impossible.

In a panic she woke up, her brain finally realizing what her senses were trying to tell her. She examined her hand, though was surprised to find nothing wrong with it. In fact, the pain was beginning to ebb, too.

_Weird…_ she thought.

But then she saw it. The blood-stained hand, lying limply at his side. She gasped in shock as the image faded.

_Riku, what did you do to yourself this time!_ she thought, exasperated, as she quickly got to her feet.

_And, more importantly, PLEASE don't be doing anything stupid right now!_

She formed a dark corridor and stepped through, emerging as close to the computer room as was possible (about a hallway away). Riku should be around here by now, if her concept of time was correct. There was a high chance it _wasn't_, though…

She was surprised to find no one guarding the computer room, and 37 was already there. The door was, however, shut and locked, so he hadn't actually gotten _in_. He was instead resorting to chucking icicles at the door.

"Throw all the icicles you want, 37," she could hear Vexen laugh from inside the computer room. "Don't think I'm going to let you in!"

She smiled slightly, but soon frowned.

_Riku's not here yet…_

_But…_

_He should be soon, unless-_

Another image came to her. Riku was on the ground, face contorted in pain. His hand was what caught her attention, though. It was soaked in blood, as it had been in the previous image, and his fingers were bent at odd angles.

The image faded.

_I should go find him,_ Namine thought, reaching out to form a dark corridor-

"There you are!"

Namine whipped around in shock and then immediately stumbled back. Larxene L had been standing directly behind her. She quickly formed a dark corridor and stepped through-

It was blocked.

"Shoot!" she shouted.

_I forgot about that… _she thought, annoyed. _So it's not like I would've been able to use a dark corridor to get to Riku, anyway._

_I should run-_

She didn't have time; Larxene L had grabbed her by the arm.

"What did you go and wake up so early for?" Larxene L taunted, her voice too sweet for Namine's liking. "You should have stayed asleep at least another few minutes!"

Namine made a face and struggled to break free, only to have a knife placed at her throat.

"I don't really want to hurt you," Larxene L hissed. "But there _might_ be an accident, if you don't stop struggling. Now come!" She started leading Namine away, ready to open a corridor the moment they got out of the corridor-proof area.

"Why don't you just knock me out again?" Namine muttered, straining slightly so she could glance up at Larxene L without hurting herself.

"_That_ wouldn't be any fun!" Larxene L replied, with an air of wounded dignity about her.

Namine frowned, confused. "Then why did you do it earlier?" she asked slowly.

"I was _trying_ to capture you without Riku noticing."

"Where is Riku?" Namine demanded.

Larxene L laughed. "Not going to be here anytime soon, Princess."

Namine stepped on Larxene L's foot as hard as she possibly could. Thankfully, it was hard enough that Larxene L dropped the knife. Quickly, Namine freed herself from Larxene L's grasp while she was still distracted.

"Don't call me that!" she said, anger in her voice. "Where's Riku? What did you do to him?"

Larxene L glared. "Why are you accusing me of doing anything?"

"Probably because you _did_ do something," Riku replied from behind her.


	75. A Fair Trade

I don't... THINK I have anything to say about this chapter...  
>L was being annoying, as she always was, and for some odd reason quoting Re:CoM (quite a few of the things she said in here were directvery close quotes. COOKIE FOR WHO CAN CATCH THEM!)

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><p>"Probably because you <em>did<em> do something," Riku replied from behind her. "I'm not quite sure how Namine knew, but…" he laughed. "I'm not surprised either."

Namine laughed, too, wondering if she should explain it. However, at the moment, there were more pressing matters at hand.

Like the fact that there was something wrong with the way Riku stood. Something completely unnatural, but she couldn't place what…

"How are you awake!" Larxene L spat, turning around to glare at Riku.

He shrugged. "It's hard for my brain to shut off when I'm in a lot of pain," he replied simply, a touch of humor in his voice. "I mean, isn't everyone like that?"

_Then_ it hit her. Riku was holding his blade in his left hand. His right hand was cradled closely to him, as if he was afraid he'd hurt it on accident.

"But how did you-" Larxene L began.

Riku rolled his eyes. "Get up?" he finished, and then laughed. "I pulled the knife out of my hand, duh! I'm not stupid! I mean… I might be bleeding a lot now, but…" He held his hand up then, examining it, and then grimaced.

Namine gasped in shock at the sight, and then grimaced, too. All his fingers were bent at odd angles, and his hand was completely soaked in blood. Riku shook his head and then returned to cradling his hand close to him.

Larxene L frowned, and then turned and grabbed for Namine.

"Oi!" Riku shouted, and shot Dark Firaga at her. She jumped out of the way (and a good distance away from Namine while she was at it). The Dark Firaga hit 37, instead.

"Ow!" he shouted.

Riku laughed. "Serves you right!" he called. "Chucking icicles at a door isn't going to get you anywhere, anyways!"

"Oh, be quiet!"

Larxene L groaned and rubbed her head. "Typical response…" she sighed. "He has a point though, sweetie! Chucking icicles at the door really isn't getting you anywhere! What happened to trying to hack through the door seal?"

37 glared.

"What happened to _your_ end of the deal?" he asked slowly.

Larxene L glared right back at him. "It's not entirely _my_ fault that they woke up," she replied, a touch of wounded dignity in her voice. "I sent enough lightning through both of them to keep them asleep for hours. I didn't expect it to last for only, what, ten minutes?" She glanced over at Namine quizzically, as if she expected a response.

"Leave," Riku said simply, glaring. "Please. Save us both the trouble and the time. Tell Saix you tried your best and it wasn't good enough."

"We haven't lost this round just yet," 37 muttered, pulling a small device out of his pocket. He placed it up against the door and began typing frantically into it. Larxene L watched him for a moment, and then summoned her knives and turned to Riku.

He groaned. "Must we? I'm not really in the mood to-"

Larxene L launched herself forward and aimed a punch at him. He ducked out of the way and then landed a rather hard blow to her side. Or, at least, as hard as he possibly could with his left hand. She gasped in shock and clutched her side, pain clearly etched on her face.

"You can fight left handed!" she gasped. "That's not _fair!_"

"Neither was stepping on my hand," Riku replied.

She grimaced and then glanced down at her side. Her cloak was torn, and there was blood. She looked up at Riku, fury in her eyes. "Why you little-" she began, and then made a face.

Riku laughed. "Aww," he taunted. "Can't come up with a good enough insult for me?"

She chucked a lightning bolt at him in response, but he dodged it with ease.

She glared.

He grinned.

"Toy!" she spat. "That's what you are! Nothing more than a stupid little-"

"Shut up!" Riku screamed, all the amusement gone from him now. Anger flooded through him, and his grip on his blade tightened. He rushed forward, unleashing a flurry of attacks, all of which Larxene L managed to avoid.

He glared.

She grinned.

"Stupid little toy," she laughed, as she avoided another one of his attacks. "You aren't as strong as you thought you were, huh?"

He cringed. "Don't call me that!" he snapped, attacking her again, though with perhaps a bit less force than before.

"Does it hurt because it's the truth?" she jeered, her grin growing even wider. She stopped then, resting a hand on her hip, her eyes filled with laughter. Riku paused, shaking slightly with his anger, and turned away. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if he couldn't bear the pain of the thought.

She giggled. "You were always someone's play thing, weren't you?" she asked, though it came out more like a statement. "Someone was always manipulating you, using you, _playing_ with you. Especially _her_." She laughed. "_She_ was pulling the strings of your fragile little heart like-"

"Don't talk about her!" Riku roared, an unbelievable amount of pain in his voice. He launched himself at Larxene L, pinning her to the wall. Well, as well as he could with little mobility in his right hand. He was too upset to care about the pain.

Larxene L quickly closed her mouth, trembling slightly with fear. She was doing her best to hide that fact, though, even as Riku aimed his blade at her throat.

"I will do it," he hissed. "I will kill you, right now, if you don't-"

37 cleared his throat.

"I wouldn't, though, if I were you," he said.

"Riku, don't listen to him!" Namine called. "He's not going to hurt me."

Riku turned then, despite all his anger, to look at Namine. 37 had her by the arm, ready to run at any minute. She was looking up at him, not scared, not angry, just determined.

"We're in a corridor proof area," she stated simply. "It's not like he can do anything more than physically drag me off."

37 raised his eyebrows and then summoned his shield. "However…" he said slowly. "I never did say that I wouldn't hurt you. I won't _kill_ you, of course, but…" He glanced up at Riku, who still had Larxene L pinned to the wall. "We have a Repair Program on both sides, whatever harm I end up doing to her can easily be _un_done."

Riku made a face. His eyes darted back towards Larxene L. "If I let her go…" he muttered. "You'll let Namine go?"

37 nodded. "Fair trade, isn't it?"

Riku scowled. "You promise to leave, right away?"

37 scowled, too. "I suppose…" he replied.

"And not come back for a while?" Riku continued.

"Oh please," Larxene L groaned. "Don't promise him _that_! Saix will-"

"Yes," 37 said.

"Idiot!" Larxene L muttered, rolling her eyes.

Riku threw a glare at her, then glanced back at 37, and then looked at Namine. She stared at him with a look that clearly said: 'this is your choice, do what you will with it'. Slowly, Riku smiled.

"Alright," he said, the humor slowly returning to his voice. "We have a deal. But first-" He maneuvered himself slightly, and then drove his blade _hard_ through Larxene L's hand. She cried out in pain, and he smirked. 37 winced.

"I think that's about even," he laughed, pulling his blade away and banishing it.

She cradled her hand close to her, whimpering slightly, though she did her best to cover it up. She glanced down at it, grimacing, and then shot a glare at Riku.

"You don't have a gash on _your_ side," she spat.

He turned slightly and pointed to his side. Sure enough, there was a gash there.

"Tulip got me," he said.

Larxene L made a face and then stalked off, cradling her hand close to her, though she tried to keep an air of dignity about her. Namine pulled her arm away from 37, who didn't seem to care all that much. He cast merely a glance at her before following after Larxene L.


	76. Words Better Left Unspoken

Cookie goes to... Xianit! *hands cookie* of course, all of you were right by guessing "toy" but only Xianit caught the "does it hurt because it's the truth?"

...

Vexen... stop acting like Riku's father. It weirds me out, too...

* * *

><p>"I still think you should've killed her," Namine muttered, eyes darting towards Riku's hand. "37 really wouldn't have hurt me, and even if he did…" she trailed off.<p>

Riku turned to her. "I don't care," he said. "I don't want to risk you getting hurt."

She sighed. Then, very gently, as not to hurt him, she reached out and took his hand. He gasped in shock, though, and pulled his hand away. She made a face.

"Riku," she said calmly. "Let me see your hand."

"I'm fine," he insisted.

"Riku," she said, firmly this time. "You're _not_ fine! Just let me look at it!"

He made a face, but then sighed and held his hand out to her. She took it, gently, and carefully pulled his glove off. He let out a small gasp of pain, but quickly bit his lip to stifle it. She grimaced at the torn and completely blood stained glove, though his hand was much worse.

There was a hole straight through the palm of his hand, where Larxene L had driven her knife through it; the wound was still bleeding. That, and his fingers were all bent at odd angles. The bone of his ring finger had actually broken through his skin; it was bleeding, too.

"Doesn't it hurt?" Namine whispered, looking up at him.

He turned away, his face tight, as if he didn't want to admit it. Then he nodded, only slightly. He started to say something, but never got the chance. Vexen opened the door then, causing them both to look up.

"That went smoother than it usually does," Vexen remarked. "There's usually a lot more fi-" He stopped rather suddenly, eyes widening in shock as he noticed Riku's hand. "What did you _do!_" he demanded, and then groaned. "Nevermind that!" He grabbed Riku by the collar of his shirt and dragged him into the computer room.

"Hey!" Riku protested. "Hey! What did I say about not liking it when you do that!"

"Nothing," Vexen replied, forcing Riku into a chair.

"Doesn't change the fact I don't like it," Riku muttered, making a face. Namine laughed.

"Be quiet for a minute," Vexen commanded. He went over to an intercom by the wall.

"How long has this place had an intercom?" Riku asked, watching Vexen with confusion.

"Quiet!" Vexen snapped, and then pressed the button for the intercom. "Alpha?" he said. "Send someone up here who can operate the Repair Program, will you? Thanks." He sighed and turned back to Riku. "For your information… it's always had an intercom. Alpha just now decided he was going to make use of-" he paused, frowning. "Are you laughing?"

"No," Riku replied, though he had trouble covering up his laughter as he did so. Namine was covering her mouth with her hand, trying to avoid laughing, too.

"You _are_ laughing!" Vexen gasped, looking rather offended now. "Why are you laughing?"

Riku almost fell out of the chair he was laughing so hard, now. "Because A-" he paused, having trouble controlling his laughter. "That look on your face! And B: the Repair Program- it-" He paused again. "It's not going to work-" The rest of the sentence was stifled by his laughter.

"Don't come up with excuses," Vexen sighed, turning back to the computer and pulling the Repair Program up for whoever was going to use it. "Of course it will work."

Riku shook his head, though he was still laughing. "No, it really won't, trust me-"

"_You're_ in a better mood," Namine laughed. "And so quickly, too! What's up?"

"I think the pain's gone to his head," Vexen muttered.

"No it _hasn't_," Riku replied, a tad bitterly (or as bitterly as he could while still laughing).

"Riku…" Namine said slowly, sounding worried now. "Are you okay?"

He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. "Y-yeah," he said, managing to not laugh while doing so this time. "I'm alright."

"You sure?"

He nodded.

"Alright, Vexen," Alpha sighed, stopping in the doorway. 7 was standing next to him. "What was it you need- oh…" He trailed off, noticing Riku's hand. Riku smiled slightly.

7 groaned and headed over to the computer, shoving Vexen out of the way as he did so. He entered a few quick commands and then turned to Riku. Riku rolled his eyes and held out his hand.

"It's not going to work," he muttered, as 7 ran his fingers over his hand, specifying what he wanted the Repair Program to fix. 7 turned back to the computer and hit enter. Riku's hand glowed blue for a second before flashing a red color and losing the glow completely.

7 frowned.

"That can't be right…" he whispered, and then entered a few different commands into the computer. Again, Riku's hand glowed blue and then flashed red before returning to normal.

"I told you it wasn't going to work," Riku said, a touch of cockiness in his voice.

"And why isn't it?" 7 asked, before typing away frantically at the computer.

"My data's not from this universe," Riku replied simply.

"He has a point," Alpha muttered. "None of the _other_ parts of the Program here effect him, so why should the Repair portion?"

"Data can't be _that_ different across universes," 7 pointed out.

"Let me see," Vexen sighed. "Maybe I can get it to recognize his Coding…"

"How long have you known that it wouldn't work?" Namine asked Riku quietly.

"I guessed," he replied with a shrug. "I mean… it might have been a tad stupid to not test the theory out sooner… but…"

"I think that's genius," Namine whispered. "I mean, you were pretty sure about this, obviously. You haven't used the Repair Program for how long?"

He laughed. "This wasn't my _only_ reason for not using it," he told her, smiling. "I have others. But I was pretty sure about it not going to work."

She smiled, too. Her smile soon fell, though, as she remembered something. "What was L talking about?" she whispered. "What did she mean when she called you a- a…" she paused and then very quietly finished: "A toy."

She said this almost as if she was afraid to.

Riku winced.

Vexen (who had been pushed away from the computer again) stopped his arguing with Alpha and 7 and turned to them, shock clearly written on his face. "She called you _what?_"

"A toy," Riku whispered. He was shaking slightly now, possibly from anger, or maybe it was something else. Namine reached out and grabbed his uninjured hand, squeezing it.

"How did she know about that!" Vexen demanded, anger clearly present in his voice now.

"All my memories are in the Database," Riku replied. "They have been since shortly after I arrived here. She's probably just been going through them in her spare time... trying to find things just like that that she can use to get to me. But I won't let her!" His voice was shaking, slowly rising to a shout. "She can call me a toy all she wants," he continued, bitterness working its way into his voice now. "But I'm not going to let it bother me! I don't care! I don't even care that she knows about-" he stopped and turned away, squeezing his eyes shut.

"That she knows about _her_," he finished, voice quiet.

Namine swallowed, noticing the tears that were running down his cheeks. Slowly, Vexen place a hand on his shoulder. He made a face, but didn't say anything about it.

Namine glanced up at Vexen. "Who's-" she began.

Vexen shook his head.

_I'll ask Riku, later, then,_ she thought.

_ Though… maybe I shouldn't…_

_ Whoever this is, there's something about her that hurts Riku, and he probably doesn't want to talk about it._

She frowned, confused, as anger surged through her for a moment. Anger towards this person that she didn't even know. Anger merely because it was Riku who was hurting. Anger because she couldn't imagine anyone _actually_ hurting Riku.

He was crying.

He had never cried before.

Not that she had ever seen, anyways.

"Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

He nodded. "I-I'm fine," he said, and then looked up. "Can we… delete my memories from the database, _please?_" he asked. "I really don't want L looking through anything else, even if there's no telling what she hasn't seen already."

"Sure thing," Alpha said, pulling up the Database to do so.


	77. Memories Better Left Forgotten

**Update Feb 2014: **"Another Side Another Story" or "ASAS" was put up about the same time this chapter was initially posted. ASAS is a collection of scrapped scenes, extra content, and scenes that don't have a place in mainstream Dead Inside. See my profile for more details

I've gone through and edited every chapter of Dead Inside that references ASAS to include specific chapter numbers so you can more easily find which ASAS chapter I'm referring to. I'm extremely sorry for not doing this sooner, but no one brought it up until now and I just never thought of it._  
><em>

* * *

><p>"I still don't get why the Repair Program didn't work…" 7 muttered, pulling a pair of glasses out of his pocket and putting them on so he could examine Riku's hand closely. "Data's data, no matter <em>where<em> it's from. The Repair Program should have scanned him… come up with compatible data… and used it to fix him. And the data from his memories should be compatible, at least!"

Riku sighed and shook his head.

"Here's a thought," he said, pulling his hand away from 7. "Can we lock Saix's side out of the Repair Program? That would be a nice advantage…"

"No," 7 replied bitterly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "That's impossible. No one can be locked out of the Repair Program. Master Vexen designed it specifically that way so as not to be cruel."

Riku frowned and blew a strand of hair out of his eyes. "Anything else we can do to bother them?" he asked.

"Nothing that wouldn't harm us…" Alpha replied quietly.

Riku sighed. "We have control over the Database, though, right?" he asked. "And that's why Saix wants the Main Computer… isn't it?"

"I suppose…" Alpha said.

"What if we were to wipe the Main Computer?" Riku suggested.

"Smart…" Alpha admitted, throwing a wry look over at him. Then he rolled his eyes. "But no. Wiping the Main Computer would damage the functions of Castle Oblivion, too."

"Okay," Riku muttered. "Can we wipe the Database?" he asked. "That way next time they want to rebuild a Replica, they won't have anything to work with. They'll have to start from scratch. I mean, I suppose, that gives them more reason to come up with something even _more_ cruel than usual, but… It would take a lot of time, right? And _we_ could use that extra time to go rescue whoever they had kidnapped before it was too late."

"That isn't a bad idea…" Alpha said slowly, turning to look at Riku. He straightened his glasses.

"Yes it is!" 7 protested. "Do you realize how long it took us to gather all that data! YEARS! You can't just go and delete all of it!"

Riku made the face he always made when he was thinking hard. "Well…" he said slowly. "Do we have an external hard-drive anywhere? Just put all the data on that and wipe it from the main Database so that Saix can't use it, but _we_ still have access to it. Ah!" His eyes lit up as he realized something. "Won't that render the Repair Program useless for them?"

7 frowned. "I suppose it might… It would make things more tedious for _us_, though…"

"Sounds like it's worth it," Alpha argued.

Riku grinned a cocky grin. Namine laughed.

"I think it's genius!" Vexen exclaimed, rather suddenly. Slowly, everyone turned to him. He seemed a bit flustered, as if he had missed a good part of the conversation and had just now realized what was happening. But, besides that, he was regarding Riku with a rather proud expression.

"I knew I programmed you right," he said smugly.

Riku slowly glared, though he shifted slightly uncomfortably as he did so.

Almost simultaneously, 7 and Alpha raised their eyebrows, as if they weren't sure what to make of Vexen. Alpha looked like he couldn't believe Vexen had just said that, while something close to disgust might have been on 7's face.

Vexen cleared his throat and hastily straightened his own glasses.

"The external's in the left-hand drawer, right Alpha?"

Alpha groaned. "I _told_ you not to go looking through-" he sighed. It wasn't really worth it; Vexen had already pulled the external out of the drawer.

He started to plug it in, but Alpha quickly shoved him out of the way (pushing past 7 in the process). 7 quickly regained his balance and glared at Alpha, fixing his glasses as he did so. He made a face, but said nothing. Alpha was yelling at Vexen for touching the computer by now, so it wouldn't have mattered even if he had said anything.

"This is ridiculous," Namine whispered, laughing slightly.

Riku merely nodded. He appeared to be in pain again.

Vexen glanced over at him, and frowned, stopping mid-argument as he did so. "That's right…" he said. "Riku's hand still hasn't been fixed."

"Well since he's not compatible with the Repair Program…" 7 replied, bitterly. He shook his head.

"I suppose I could go back to the other universe and Repair him from there…" Vexen muttered.

"That would require me coming, too!" Riku objected. "And I am _not_ going back there!"

Vexen frowned, as if not sure if he quite liked the fact that Riku was so openly disobeying him. After a moment, though, he just sighed. "That's alright," he said. "I'm not sure if I want to, either. Xehanort might still be around… I wouldn't want to drag you into that mess…"

"So that leaves us at resorting to basic first aid, doesn't it?" Alpha asked, amusement in his voice. He glanced away from the computer (which was in the middle of transferring files and being rather slow about it) and cast a wry look at Riku. "Objections?"

Riku shook his head.

"Well, that's fine," Vexen sighed. "But who here knows- oh…"

Slowly, all eyes shifted to Namine.

"Why are you all looking at me?" she asked, rather shocked. "What have I done that- I mean-" She laughed, then. "Yes, I can bandage a nasty cut or scrape, but that doesn't mean I know _anything_ about broken bones!"

"7?" Vexen asked.

7 raised his eyebrows and slowly removed his glasses. "'Medic' has two different meanings," he said simply. "For humans it may mean someone who is good with medicine and taking care of wounds, for Replicas, however…" He paused, returned his glasses to their case and put them in his pocket. "It merely means that I am able to fix data that has been messed with, whether that implies being able to operate the Repair Program or actually going through a Replica's Coding and reworking parts that have been messed with in some way." He glanced up then, a small smirk on his face. "I also happen to be rather skilled with finding, identifying, and getting rid of viruses."

"You don't seem to know anything about my Meltdowns," Namine said slowly.

He turned to her and frowned. "Those aren't _necessarily_ caused by a virus, though," he explained. "From what I am aware of, they are simply an anomaly. If you _wish,_ though, I could look into it for you…"

"That would be great," Riku said through clenched teeth. "But for right now, have we decided what we were going to about my hand? It's starting to hurt a lot!"

There was silence for a moment.

"We could go see Aerith," Namine suggested, finally. "She's good with this kind of stuff."

"She is?" Riku asked skeptically.

Namine nodded, looking a bit confused now. "Yeah…" she replied slowly. "Don't you remember when Yuffie- oh… right… you weren't there."

"_When_ was this?" Riku asked.

"Traverse Town, a while ago," Namine laughed. "You were trying to find Sora."

He nodded, understanding _that_ bit, at least.

"So you think she'll be able to fix it?"

Namine nodded. "And if not, I'm sure that she'll at least be able to do _something_."

"So it's settled," Vexen exclaimed. "We'll go see-"

"_You're_ not coming!" Riku interrupted, shooting a glare at him. "Me and Namine will return to Hollow Bastion and ask Aerith about what she can do. You can stay here and do something else. I don't care _what_, but I don't want you following us!"

And before Vexen could say anything, Riku had formed a dark corridor around himself and Namine and they were gone.

* * *

><p>oh, p.s. you guys REALLY need to make a habit of reading my blog. If you already do, go ahead and let me know. Because I don't like posting long author's notes at the beginning of chapters. Plus, the blog's the only place you're going to find out about random crap other info<p> 


	78. Things Better Left Untouched

already in the playlist, Exodin (which, if you check my blog, there is a page specifically for the soundtrack, somewhere toward the top of the site)

Anon, that totally works :D Interesting theory, btw, but I don't think that's what it was...

and sorry for those of you who do read the blog! I had no idea! Glad you guys are all reading it!

and... uhm, this chapter only happened because Alpha was being talkative.

and I'm sorry if "blasted" sounds absolutely lame. only substitute me and magik could come up with for what Vexen _originally_ wanted to say. I'm trying to keep all swearing/cursing/cussing to Shadow (except Cid on a few occasions, because, well, it's Cid)

* * *

><p>Vexen sighed. "I question <em>just<em> how messed up his Programming is at times," he muttered, shaking his head. "He's fine one moment and then the next…" He swore. "Blasted Rewrite! Blasted Larxene! I should have never allowed her to-" he trailed off into incomprehensible muttering that quickly turned into some _very_ unkind things about Larxene.

Alpha raised his eyebrows.

"Well then," he laughed. "If that's how you feel about her, it's a surprise 37 ever-"

He paused and turned to 7, slightly shocked. 7 had started adding to Vexen's list of unkind things about Larxene. Alpha rolled his eyes and turned back to the computer, deciding he would just ignore them.

_However… if this hate towards Larxene is mutually shared by Vexen, no matter what form he's in…_ he couldn't help but think.

_Then something is SERIOUSLY wrong with 37…_

He shook his head, pushing the thought aside. He returned his attention to the computer; he still hadn't finished removing all of Riku's memories from the Database. He had been distracted. However, there were only a few memories left…

"What the-" he gasped, noticing something. He frowned and squinted at the screen. Then, in disbelief, he took his glasses off, cleaned them, and put them back on as if it would make any difference. It didn't.

All memories in the Database were typically flagged depending on the strongest thoughts and emotions that were portrayed in them, so as to make finding usable Data easier. Most had only one or two emotions flagged to them, occasionally more, but rarely ever any more than five.

But this memory was flagged with practically every negative emotion that they had a flag for:

Anger.

Hate.

Sorrow.

Loneliness.

Shock.

Fear.

Hurt.

Confusion.

And yet… most surprisingly, especially with all that negativity, it was flagged with one other emotion:

Love.

Curious, Alpha clicked on the flag, seeing if whoever had flagged it had left a comment. A window popped up, slowly listing all the emotions the memory had been flagged with all over again. Alpha sighed and drummed his fingers on the desk, waiting-

The list continued to add more and more emotions, surpassing the amount that had been listed previously. After love it added:

Happiness.

Excitement.

Contentment.

Compassion.

Protectiveness.

Passion.

Jealousy.

Disbelief.

The list continued, causing Alpha to frown. He didn't recall the Database actually having a flag for some of these emotions. And, sure enough, about as soon as he thought that, the list of emotions went blank, and then flashed red.

"SYNTAX ERROR"

Alpha's eyes narrowed in confusion. He closed out of the window and then clicked on the memory itself so that he could view it. A message box popped up:

"THIS PIECE OF DATA IS UNSTABLE AND MAY CONTAIN CONTENT THAT COULD HARM THE DATABASE! DO YOU WISH TO PROCEED?"

Alpha rolled his eyes at the message and simply hit "YES".

He kept his eye on the bottom left hand corner of the screen where a small box was. The box would keep track of the emotions, which were _really_ what he was here to find out about. He actually made a point not to focus on the memory itself; it was Riku's after all, and the information could have been private.

Anger.

"Looks like I win," Riku laughed.

Alpha glanced up at the scene. Sora, or a version of him, was on the ground, Riku looking down on him. Sora merely looked up at Riku, as if he did not have the will to return to his feet. However, his face was distorted slightly, as if Riku hadn't been paying much attention.

Hate.

_"Stupid Sora…" _Riku thought. _"Always getting in the way! Why can't you just leave me alone! All I want is… is to be with Namine… but you-"_

Love.

Hurt.

"Riku! Stop!" someone shouted. Alpha frowned. The voice sounded like Namine's…

And, sure enough, Riku reacted as if it were her. The image shifted slightly, as if he turned away for a second.

_"Stop, eh? She's telling me to… stop… I should… stop, then- but-"_

Jealousy.

_"She doesn't care about me. She cares about him! She always has… I just- I don't want to believe that-"_

Anger.

_"If Sora weren't here… then… then maybe I could be with her. Then maybe-"_

He raised his blade, slowly.

"You are _through_!" he shouted.

He brought his blade crashing down-

"I SAID STOP!" Namine screamed.

The Emotion Box went crazy. It filled up with emotion after emotion, went blank, filled up again. The image went completely black. There was a fragmented scrap of audio here and there, but it was all distorted and hard to make sense off.

Alpha paused the memory and then glanced over his shoulder at Vexen and 7.

"Hey!" he snapped. "Be quiet for a second! This is important!"

Both of them stopped. Vexen frowned.

"What is it?" he demanded.

"A memory of Riku's," Alpha replied. "There's something off about-"

He never finished his sentence. Vexen shoved him aside and started the memory over, watching it intently. Alpha groaned, but said nothing. Maybe Vexen could make sense of it…

So they watched the memory again.

Alpha grimaced as the context of the memory started to dawn on him. Riku and Sora, from the parallel universe, most likely, had fought. Riku had beaten Sora and was prepared to kill him.

All because of Namine.

Parallel Namine it may be, he still had strong feelings towards her.

_"She doesn't care about me."_

Even if the feelings may not have been mutual.

Alpha winced, now, when she screamed at Riku. And, as he watched, he noticed something. As the Emotion Box filled and emptied itself, one emotion kept repeating over and over and over again.

Hurt.

Everything went blank.

The computer beeped.

"SYNTAX ERROR!"

Alpha quickly shoved Vexen out of the way and entered a few quick commands. The window containing the memory closed. Before the computer could complain anymore, Alpha hit "DELETE".

"That explains _so_ much…" Vexen whispered. He had buried his face in his hands.

"Care to enlighten us?" 7 asked. "I'm confused!"

"As am I…" Alpha muttered, though he was nearly positive that he and 7 were confused about different things.

Slowly, Vexen glanced up.

"Memory witch," he stated simply. "That Namine was, and probably still is, a memory witch. She had, and probably still has, control over the memories of Sora and anyone connected to him. The Riku Replica, _this_ Riku, was among those people. She filled his heart with false memories, memories that confused him as time wore on, memories that-"

"Drove him to madness…" Alpha finished quietly. He swallowed. "And then she… shattered him…"

7 cringed. "No Replica should have been able to survive that…"

"This is _Riku_ we're talking about," Vexen laughed.

Alpha quickly deleted what was left of Riku's memories from the Database, focusing probably more intently on the task than he needed to. He was shaking, and his heart was pounding in his chest. He felt as if, somehow, he had managed to get more from that memory than should have been possible.

He hurt.

He hurt as if he had been in Riku's place.

"He was talking about her before, wasn't he?" he whispered after a moment.

"Hmm?" 7 asked.

"Riku," Alpha clarified, though his voice didn't get much louder. "When he was ranting about L, and listing off things that he didn't care that she knew about, he… he choked at the mention of 'her'. He was… referring to this Namine, wasn't he? The Namine who-"

"Yes," Vexen said before Alpha could finish.

Alpha was secretly grateful for that; he felt as if his heart would break if he kept talking. He took his glasses off and wiped his eyes.

_I feel awful…_ he thought slowly.

_Is this how Namine feels during meltdowns?_

_And- why are Riku's emotions strong enough that I started feeling them, too?_

He paused, something occurring to him. Something that he had seen in the memory, an emotion that had come up even more than 'hurt' had. Love. When the Emotion Box had gone crazy at the moment of the shattering, the last time it had filled up, it had been repeating that same emotion.

Love.

"He _loved_ her…" he breathed.

"He may not have realized it was love, though," Vexen said.

Slowly, Alpha turned to him. "You sure?"

Vexen shrugged. "His memories and his entire heart were a wreck, then…" he explained slowly. "I'm sure he felt _something_ towards her, but I doubt he recognized it as love."

"Right," Alpha said, his voice catching slightly.

_And yet… I have a hard time believing him…_

Reports of Zexion Alpha: What was that?

Things have gone back to normal. I finished deleting all of Riku's memories from the Database, moved all the rest of the Data onto an external, and made sure that not too much damage was done during this raid. Whatever that was back in the Computer Room has passed. My heart still aches a bit though, and I still feel shaken.

I think I learned more about Riku from that memory than I would ever want to know about him.

Besides, that was private.

I shouldn't have even seen it…

But that's not just it.

I hurt as if it had been me in that moment…

But _why?_

I did nothing more than watch it. And, sure, it was a pretty awful thing to see, but that doesn't explain why I felt the way I did back there, nor the lingering pain that is still with me right now.

Unless, somehow, all that emotion in that memory just needed to be released somehow.

All Data has its quirks, even my own Data. I suppose a small Data transfer could have taken place then, dispelling some of the built up emotions into me. I'm sure if they were too much for the Computer to handle, which they certainly seemed to be, it would have sought a way to get rid of them. I was the closest thing…

I wonder…

What if that is what's causing Namine's meltdowns?

All the built up emotion that Riku's holding inside of him, not wanting anyone to see… And all that emotion, without a proper outlet, has to go _somewhere_. So it goes to Namine, whose data is similar enough to Riku's to take the emotion. And the emotion triggers memories, causing the meltdowns…

It would make sense.

Especially if what I felt back there was something similar to a meltdown. Of course, I'm sure it wasn't anywhere _close_ to what they actually feel like, but I do not have Riku's memories inside of me.

But then why did the Computer expel the emotion to me? I wouldn't have been able to take-

Oh.

All Data in the Database is compatible with every Replica, of course.

The only difference between what just happened and my theory about Namine's meltdowns is that Riku would be the source, not the Computer.

And, as I've said, Namine's Data is similar to Riku's, which is why she would be the only one who's picking up the emotion from him…

Another thought, though…

Could we have used Namine's Data to fix Riku's hand?

The Computer didn't seem to want to recognize his Data so that the Repair Program would work, however… if we were to go through and actually-

Oh wait…

We can't edit his Data ourselves.

Saix has locked the Program.


	79. No Need to get Frantic

**Update Feb 2014: **there was a note here for like an hour or so saying a sequence in Can't Escape happened before this one and that's actually WRONG. Said Can't Escape sequence happens AFTER this my bad.

* * *

><p>There was only one problem about disappearing so suddenly from Castle Oblivion. Riku had been sitting in a chair, and, upon arriving in Hollow Bastion, there was suddenly no chair for him to be sitting in. He ended up landing rather roughly on his butt.<p>

"Ow!" he exclaimed.

Namine laughed. "That's what you get for corridoring away so suddenly!"

"No, no, I hit my hand!" he gasped, doubling over slightly from the pain. He bit his lip, trying to avoid crying out.

The smile fell from Namine's face and was soon replaced by concern. "You okay?" she asked, kneeling down next to him. He only nodded.

Someone cleared their throat behind them. They quickly turned (Riku with some difficulty) and found Leon standing there. He held a cup in his hand, as if he had just returned from the kitchen. If he was shocked to see them sitting in the middle of the floor, though, he did not in any way show it.

"Is something wrong?" he asked simply, casually.

"So sorry we're back!" Namine replied quickly. "Riku's injured himself, and it's too serious for me to bandage, and there's not much else we can do with it, and-"

While she was talking, Riku shifted slightly so he could get a better look at Leon. And, in doing so, Leon could get a better look of his hand. Leon blanched.

"I'll go get Aerith," he said, remaining relatively calm about it, stopping Namine before she could rant anymore. He headed for the stairs, setting his cup down on the kitchen counter as he did so.

"Geez," Riku laughed, though it was through clenched teeth. "No need to get all frantic."

"Well _you're_ the one who corridored us right into the middle of Aerith's house!" Namine replied.

"Like you're any better!"

She made a face.

"I didn't know where I was going, then," she muttered, folding her arms over her chest. "Now that I _know_, I would have been polite enough to corridor us _outside_ of her house and then used the front door."

"Well-" Riku began, and then frowned. "You do realize corridor isn't a verb, right?" he asked in disbelief, his pain momentarily forgotten. "You just used it as a verb like… three times."

"So? Does it _honestly-_"

"Aerith will be right down," Leon said, interrupting her. She threw a glance at him. He was regarding the both of them with a curious expression. He said nothing, though, and then fished a potion out of his pocket and handed it to Riku.

"She told me to have you drink this," he continued. "It'll help with the pain, and the blood, too."

Riku nodded, uncorked the bottle, and downed the potion in one gulp. He let out a small sigh of relief as the pain ebbed away, and then set the empty bottle aside. He glanced over at Namine, who was staring at him. He raised his eyebrows.

"What?" he asked.

"Hmm?" She blinked a few times, confused, and then quickly turned away. "Oh! Sorry," she muttered. "I was- I zoned out, I guess…" She nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, refusing to look back at Riku.

"About what?" he laughed.

He never received a response, however. Aerith came down the stairs about then.

"Alright," she sighed. "How bad is it?"

Riku held his hand up for her to see. She grimaced.

"Goodness!" she exclaimed, kneeling down next to him. "What did you do!"

He merely shrugged. "Got stepped on," he replied as Aerith took his hand and started examining it. She was gentle, but certain, as if she had done this plenty of times before.

"Do we even _really_ want to know what happened?" Leon asked. He was leaning casually against the wall, cup of tea in hand again.

"A Larxene Replica was just being absolutely cruel," Riku said, casually. "Nothing new."

"Larxene?"

Riku opened his mouth to reply, but Namine beat him to it:

"She's a jerk," she said quickly, throwing a worried glance at Riku, and then turning to Leon. "And we should probably just leave it at that; Riku might sit here insulting her for an hour if we let him." She added the last part with a bit of humor in her voice, but it was noticeably forced.

Riku glanced up at her. She was staring at him, worry in her eyes. He swallowed, somehow understanding what exactly was on her mind. She was thinking about the conversation they had had just minutes ago.

She didn't _want_ him to talk anymore about it.

Whether it was because she didn't like the thought of how cruel Larxene was as much as he didn't, or because she didn't really think that Leon and Aerith cared, he couldn't tell.

But her eyes were _begging_ him not to say anything.

A smile tugged the corners of his mouth.

She was worried about him.

_"She's only worried about me, after all, how can I be annoyed at that?"_

He winced, as flashes of a fragmented memory flickered through him for a moment. He didn't quite understand it; the memory was vague. But Namine was there, and he was happy-

And scared.

And hurt.

_"Did I- did I do something wrong?" he stammered, confused. She didn't reply. Instead, she rose to her feet and turned away from him._

The memory went fuzzy for a moment, then it cleared.

_She turned back to him, almost furious. "Why!" she demanded. "WHY!"_

_ He merely stared at her, too hurt and confused to come up with an appropriate response. There was something- something about what she had just said-_

_ "THERE you are!" someone else called._

_ And then that someone else laughed a cruel and absolutely SICK laugh-_

He gasped in shock and squeezed his eyes shut, doing his best to push the memory and the pain aside.

_Not now!_ he told himself firmly. _I am not going to do this now!_

"Sorry," Aerith said, quickly, pulling her hands away.

He turned to her, a tad confused, then remembered that she was still working on his hand. He shook his head. "Oh, no," he said, laughing slightly (though it was more nervous than anything). "It wasn't-" he paused, realizing that if he told her that it wasn't that that was bothering him, he'd have to explain what _was. _"I'm okay," he said instead.

Aerith stared at him for a moment, as if she didn't believe him. She didn't say anything though, and gently took his hand again. She cast a simple Cure on it and the knife wound closed up almost immediately.

"Leon?" she said, throwing a glance at him. "Could you-"

"Got it," he replied, before she could even finish. He set his cup down on the counter again and headed off, probably to go get something.

Aerith turned back to Riku and then cast a stronger Cure on his hand. He made a face as it took effect and the bones in his fingers slowly knit themselves back together.

"Feel weird?" Aerith asked, noting the look on his face.

He nodded.

She smiled slightly. "Zack complained, too…" she whispered, and then sighed, her smile falling. Riku glanced up.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing," Aerith muttered.

He stared at her for a moment, not quite believing her. It certainly didn't _sound_ like nothing. And the look on her face suggested that it wasn't nothing, too. But before he could ask about it, Leon returned.

"Here," Leon said, handing Aerith a wet rag and a roll of bandages.

"Thank you," she said, taking them from him. He nodded, picked up his cup of tea again, and returned to leaning casually against the wall.

Aerith set the bandages aside and then proceeded to wash the blood off of Riku's hand. Riku grimaced. It was starting to hurt again. He didn't say anything, though.

"Now listen," Aerith told him, firmly. "I don't want you using this hand at _all_ for a while, got it?"

He nodded.

"That means no fighting-"

"I can fight left-handed," Riku interrupted.

Aerith stared at him for a moment, eyebrows raised. "Well…" she said slowly. "If you can avoid fighting, please do, just to be safe. Namine? Hold him to that, will you?" She turned to Namine, a faint smile on her lips.

Namine merely nodded.

Aerith nodded, satisfied. "And Riku," she continued, turning back to him. "You should come back in a few days so I can check on your hand, got it?"

"Yeah," he replied, though he was only half paying attention. He was focused on Namine, who was shaking slightly. Her eyes were squeezed shut, face contorted in pain. One of her hands was clenched into a tight fist by her side, while the other was hovering inches away from her head, as if she was thinking about clutching it.

"Namine?" he asked, quietly, reaching out to her.

She screamed.

He winced.

Aerith gasped in shock, startled. Leon was so startled that he nearly dropped his cup. Riku moved closer to Namine, protectively wrapping his arms around her, as if it would actually do any good.

"What the-" Leon began.

"Meltdown!" Riku replied, bitterly, before Leon could finish. He cast a rather hurt glare over his shoulder, tears starting to form in his eyes. He quickly closed his eyes, fighting them back, and then turned to Namine again.

"Is there anything we can do?" Aerith asked.

"No!" Riku snapped. "There's- there's no way to stop it! The meltdowns, they- they don't- there's no way to stop them! And- And I-"

Namine whimpered slightly. Riku stopped his ranting rather suddenly and repositioned himself slightly. She buried her face in his chest, seeming to calm down a bit. He glanced down at her, and then held her closer to him, though it was a bit hard due to the fact his right hand still wasn't working normally.

They sat there for a moment in a silence that was only disrupted by Namine's occasional sob. Then, very quietly, Riku whispered:

"We should go."

"You can't," Aerith said, firmly. "I'm not done with your hand yet."

He turned to her, clearly upset. "Well what else am I supposed to do?" he demanded harshly. "There's nothing I _can_ do but wait it out with her, and I-"

Aerith placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Riku," she said, quietly, calmly. "Take her upstairs and put her in one of the beds; she needs rest, right? Then you'll sit by her and comfort her, I'll finish bandaging your hand, and it'll all turn out okay."

He stared.

"Go on," Aerith urged. "The room you stayed in last night is still empty."

Slowly, he nodded. He picked Namine up, though with some difficulty. He grimaced.

"Hey," he whispered. "Do you think you could hold onto me? I'm not sure if I can-"

He didn't need to finish. Namine managed to hear him and wrapped an arm around his neck.

"Thank you."

She nodded.

"Actually, Riku!" Aerith called as he started up the stairs. "You probably shouldn't- your hand-" she stopped, and then sighed.

"Not worth it?" Leon asked.

She shook her head. "Nope."


	80. Memories that Blind

**Update Feb 2014: **Apparently timing for this area of the story is a little wonky, but that's what I made the Timeline for. (I promise you can find the Timeline on my blog without a problem. It's in the top tabs of the blog.)

Also, ASASch3-6 happen around here.

* * *

><p>"Larxene?" Leon asked.<p>

Riku started to reply, but Namine interrupted before he had a chance.

"She's a jerk," she explained quickly, throwing a worried glance at Riku, hoping that he wouldn't try and add anything to that thought. She turned back to Leon. "And we should probably just leave it at that." She hesitated for a moment, and then added: "Riku might sit here insulting her for an hour if we let him." She tried to keep some humor in her voice as she said this, but had a feeling it didn't work as well as she hoped.

Riku glanced up at her.

She turned back to him.

_Riku… please don't take this any further than you need to,_ she pleaded, though she knew Riku couldn't actually hear her. _What you said before… worries me…_

_ I don't want to hear you talk about Larxene again…_

_ What you said back there- hurt enough._

Slowly, as if he understood, he smiled. She let out a small sigh of relief, but it was short lived. Riku suddenly winced in pain. She started to ask what was wrong, but received her answer before she had the chance.

_"She's only worried about me, after all, how can I be annoyed at that?"_

More fragments of memory followed after that. It was all the same moment, it seemed, but-

_She was there, though she didn't look incredibly happy about it. Riku, however, didn't seem to care. He was enjoying the time with her, ignoring the fact that she wasn't sharing that excitement._

_ But…_ Namine thought slowly. _That's… that's not me…_

The memory warped itself rather suddenly, the scene shifted.

_"Did I- did I do something wrong?" Riku stammered, pulling his hand away. He was confused, and scared. Very, VERY scared. Scared of just the thought that he had messed up-_

The memory shifted again.

_She turned to him, looking upset—almost furious. "Why!" she demanded, her voice shaking. "Why, Riku, WHY!"_

_ He merely stared. Hurt and confusion were surging through him, so quickly that he couldn't force himself to speak a response. He had an answer to the question, he just-_

_ What she had just said-_

Namine quickly turned away, trying to keep herself from crying. But the pain of the memory was just so much, and- and Riku was so hurt in it, too. He was hurt because of something she had-

_No,_ Namine corrected herself. _It wasn't me. It was… that other me?_

_ Who was it?_

_ I- I don't think it was me-_

_ I- I HOPE it wasn't me!_

_ Whatever I- she- that Namine said-_

_ It hurt Riku, and I don't want to hurt him!_

Her heart felt like it was breaking. The memory wasn't clear enough to actually give her what that Namine said, but it did clearly give her Riku's response to it. There was fear, and shock, and disbelief and-

And pain.

An overwhelming amount of pain.

And to make it worse-

"_THERE you two are!" someone else called. It was Larxene, her voice cruel as it always was, and yet filled with excitement, as if she enjoyed what she was seeing. And then she laughed, obviously amused by the situation._

_ He-_

_ No._

_I, _Namine thought.

_I hate that laugh!_

_ Why does she have to laugh like that? And why is it always at me! Does she think my pain is FUNNY! Why- why does she look at me like that? What's she planning? She's planning something-_

_ "With a little help from Namine, you can have all the real Riku's memories!" Larxene laughed, absolutely thrilled by the idea. "Maybe we can make you forget that you're nothing but a fake!"_

_ "Fake"!_

_ I am more than-_

_ I-_

_ I'm Namine… right?_

_ Then what was Larxene talking about?_

_ Larxene- she's- she's looking at me with that evil look in her eyes. That look- I- I hate that look! That look means NOTHING good for me!_

_ "In other words," Larxene continued, grinning. "We'll remake your heart so it's the same as the Real Riku's, kay?"_

_ See! I said so!_

_ "What! You want to remake my heart!"_

_ They- they don't have the right to do that! They can't do that to me! How could they- Vexen- Vexen wouldn't?_

_ Crud._

_ He would._

_ Larxene laughed again._

_ I really do hate that laugh._

_ "Relax kiddo!" she taunted, giggling slightly. "I don't think it's going to hurt THAT much!"_

_ Tch._

_ Like YOU actually care._

_ You WANT to see me hurt!_

_ You know what?_

_ "I'll hurt you!"_

_ My hand clenched tightly around my blade, which came to my call as it was supposed to. I- I forced all my anger into the attack, rushing forward, using my hate for Larxene to make it stronger-_

_ Ug!_

_ Lightning!_

_ It- it hurts- the- why is there lightning? Why did it have to be- why is- why is she so strong? I thought I was strong, how is she- how is she stronger? How-_

_ Why-_

_Why does it hurt?_

_ Why does it hurt so much?_

_ Larxene laughed again, obviously enjoying my pain. I absolutely HATE that about her. And that laugh-_

_ "Stupid little toy!" she giggled._

_ "Toy"!_

_ I'm not a toy!_

_ Who does she think she is!_

_ And why is she smiling at me like that? That smile- and that look in her eyes-_

_ I'm scared._

_ "Don't worry," she told me, as if it would make me feel any better. "Just like every other memory in that hollow heart of yours, Namine will erase the memory of me knocking you flat!"_

_ Namine?_

_ I- I'm Namine… aren't I?_

_ I-_

"Namine? Hold him to that, will you?"

She nodded, though she didn't quite understand. She tried to pull herself back to her senses, but it wasn't working terribly well. The memory was still raging through her head, and things were still confusing-

_But… if I'm Namine…_

_ Why do I hurt like Riku does?_

_ Why do I feel like I'm in his shoes?_

_ And… when Larxene looks at me like that, with that absolutely sick smile, and that laughter in her eyes, why does fear flood through me? Why me?_

_ And-_

_ Larxene is- coming towards me, now. And I- I inch away, in fear. I- I'm ashamed to be this afraid, but- but I'm so scared- I-_

_ "Instead," Larxene continued, still smiling that sick smile. "Namine will plant the loveliest little memories inside of you!"_

_ "Plant"?_

_ What does she mean "plant"?_

_ Crap!_

_ That was the wall!_

_ I- I can't go back any farther. I- I don't want to be remade. I- I like my heart just the way it is, thanks! I don't need you tampering with it!_

_ Larxene's looking down at me._

_ She's enjoying this._

_ I hate her._

_ "It's no big deal that they're all lies," she taunted, grinning that absolutely sick grin of hers._

_ This is it-_

_ I-_

_ No, Riku… right?_

_ I- I don't know-_

_ I-_

She screamed.

Everything was so confusing.

She couldn't think straight.

But… at least… Riku was there. He had her arms around her, protecting her. And almost in response to that, the memories weakened. She was starting to think straight again, and was able to start to make sense of the memory.

But it hurt.

She let out a small whimper, and immediately in response Riku pulled her closer to him.

A different emotion suddenly flooded through her.

Happiness.

Or something close to it.

She nearly laughed in relief, but buried her face in Riku's chest, instead.

_Riku, please,_ she thought, unable to actually say the words out loud. _Please don't let go of me. I- I don't want to be that scared again. I- I want to stay in your arms. I'm… safe here. Nothing can hurt me…_

The world around her shifted, and suddenly Riku was carrying her. She hardly noticed. It was normal enough, after a meltdown.

"Hey," Riku whispered, a bit suddenly. "Do you think you could hold on to me? I'm not sure if I can-"

She wrapped an arm around his neck, trying to support herself, not wanting to put too much strain on Riku. She felt there was a specific reason as to that, but she couldn't actually remember it.

"Thanks," Riku said.

She nodded.

_No problem…_

She struggled her eyes open, wanting to see the look on Riku's face. He was worried, as usual, nothing out of the ordinary…

Then she turned.

Her eyes fell on Aerith.

Her world went dizzy, as another, completely different set of memories washed over her. Again, her sense of self went fuzzy, but it didn't at all feel right.

_Blood._

_ There was plenty of it._

_ Her hands were soaked with it, her clothes were covered with it._

_ In fact, EVERYTHING was covered in it._

They were heading up the stairs now, she could feel that, and her brain registered it slightly…

_Rain._

_ It was falling, hard, drenching everything._

_ Slowly, it washed all the blood away, cleaning everything, as if making it everything new._

_ But everything still hurt…_

_ The pain wasn't washed away with everything else._

Riku was saying something, she could almost hear it, though her brain didn't want to make sense of it.

_She screamed._

_ A terrible, heart wrenching scream that shattered the air, that reflected all the hurt and guilt and sorrow of this moment-_

_ And the pain._

_ There was too much pain…_

It wasn't long before Namine found herself screaming, too.


	81. A Sad Memory

Yeah, so, I sit Aerith down and WHAT does she give me?

THIS.

just. ugh.

Now I might have to post a certain something else sooner than I had expected to...

oh well, it's not like it's entirely spoilers. I just- I didn't want to post it until-

whatever. I need to finish up the little scene that's being posted in ASAS at the moment before I can even THINK of posting that.

* * *

><p>"Oi, what's with all the <em>racket?<em>" Yuffie whined, poking her head out of her room. "How am I supposed to get any-" She stopped suddenly as she found herself face to face with an extremely angry Riku (who also happened to be holding a screaming Namine). She blinked a few times. He glared.

"Uh… nothing!" Yuffie said quickly, and then slipped past Riku and down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Riku could hear Aerith ask.

"I- I'm going to do a round of the town, make sure that all the Heartless are gone-" was Yuffie's quick response, which she sounded almost too excited about.

Riku rolled his eyes. It didn't really matter. He made his way to the room that Aerith had told him to go to, nudged the door open with his foot (he was thankful that it hadn't been closed all the way in the first place), and then laid Namine down on the bed.

"Will she need anything when she wakes up?" Aerith asked. Riku turned, finding her standing in the doorway. "We've got food. I- I'd offer soup, but Cid's working and doesn't want to be bothered, and I'm no good with soup…"

Slowly, Riku shook his head.

"It's alright," he whispered. "It- It could be a while before she wakes up, so…" he trailed off, gaze falling to rest on her face. She had stopped screaming by now, but seemed restless. He swallowed, unsure of what to do. There was an insane amount of worry and sorrow raging through him. He hated seeing her hurt like this.

It made him hurt, too.

And he had no idea what to do with that hurt. It hurt so much more than any other kind of hurt he had ever felt in his life.

She shuddered.

Slowly, he sat down on the bed next to her and took her hand in his uninjured one. She seemed to calm a bit.

Aerith made her way over.

"I still need to bandage your hand," she laughed, kneeling down next to him and proceeding to do so.

Riku only nodded. He hardly paid any attention as she carefully bandaged each of his fingers, and then his hand itself. It didn't really hurt, not anymore, especially when compared to the pain in his chest.

But… at least…

At least Namine had calmed down now.

"Is- Is she ever confused by the memories she sees?" Aerith asked suddenly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Riku laughed, a tad bitter. "All the time," he replied, not even turning around.

"And… they're all _your_ memories?" Aerith pressed.

Riku nodded. He really didn't find much point in Aerith's questions. They were the same ones that everyone seemed to ask.

"Always?"

Riku turned to her then, shocked and slightly confused. That wasn't one of the typical questions. And the way she sounded when she asked it…

She wasn't looking at him, but rather at Namine. Riku followed her gaze. Namine's face was troubled, like whatever memory she was seeing wasn't entirely pleasant.

_It's my memory, though,_ Riku thought, bitterly. _I'm not surprised._

However…

The trouble on Namine's face was reflected in Aerith's eyes, as if she understood.

He frowned, starting to second guess himself.

"Why do you ask?" he said slowly. "Is something wrong?"

Aerith glanced up at him, looking a bit surprised. "Wrong? Oh no, nothing's wrong!" she laughed. "It's just- that…" Her smile slowly fell. "When she screamed, I-" She didn't finish. She looked almost scared to. Her eyes were filled with sorrow, and pain; her face portrayed a look Riku had only seen once before, on Kairi's face after Sora had fallen into darkness.

She looked haunted.

He swallowed.

She quickly shook her head and finished bandaging Riku's hand.

Namine let out a sort of strangled sob. Riku turned back to her, worried. She was shaking slightly, and there were tears in her eyes. He let go of her hand and then gently wiped the tears away. After only a moment of hesitation, he brushed a strand of hair out of her face and then stroked her cheek.

She calmed almost immediately.

"Alright," Aerith sighed. "I'm done. I want to see you back here in a few days so I can check up on you, got it?"

Riku nodded.

Satisfied, Aerith rose to her feet. She stopped rather suddenly, though, noticing something. "Riku!" she exclaimed, shocked. "You're still hurt!"

"Hmm?" he asked, and then glanced down at his side, where Aerith's gaze was firmly fixed. His shirt was torn, and there was plenty of blood, too. He just shrugged. She rolled her eyes and knelt down next to him again, gently pushing his shirt aside so she could look at the wound.

"Oh," she muttered, sighing slightly with relief. "Okay. It's not as bad as it looked."

"I drank a potion," he said.

"Right. That would do it." She glanced up at him. "Do you want me to heal it the rest of the way, or should I just leave it alone?"

"How bad is it?" Riku asked.

"It won't _kill _you if I leave it alone," Aerith replied slowly. "It might scar, though."

He shrugged.

"Alright then," Aerith muttered, getting to her feet. Slowly, she made her way to the door. "Come and let me know if you need anything, alright?"

"Sure."

Aerith stared at him for a second, feeling as if there should be something more she could do for him. But… she wasn't quite sure what that something was. So, finally, she just turned and headed out.

_I wonder if… if she really is seeing the memory I think she's seeing…_ Aerith thought slowly, as she closed the door behind her. She stood there a moment, shaking slightly at the thought.

_It certainly seemed like it._

_I mean… I'm not sure if it's possible... I don't know how the meltdowns work…_

_But-_

She shook her head, and started walking, still thinking..

The look on Namine's face was fresh in her mind; a look that reminded her all too much of the very hurt and anguish she had felt in that moment. Namine's scream still rang in her ears; a scream that sounded all too like the very scream that had escaped her lips after-

She paused, and ducked into her room (which she was thankful she happened to have stopped by) so that she wouldn't be standing in the middle of the hallway. She closed her eyes, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall.

It was hardly any use.

She could still see, in her mind's eye, that smile on his face.

She wrung her hands together; she could almost still feel the blood on them.

Even thought the blood and that smile were years behind her…

She could still feel the sorrow, and the anger, and the panic.

She could still feel-

_No_, she told herself, firmly, opening her eyes before she could picture the moment in her head. _I will NOT force myself to relive it! Just… just stop thinking about it…_

She quickly wiped away her tears.

Then, slowly, she made her way downstairs.

"Is she alright?" Leon called from the table.

Aerith turned to him. He was staring into what was probably his third cup of tea, as if it held the answer to his question. She swallowed.

"Riku said that she'd be okay," she replied, shakily. She frowned slightly, not liking the fact her voice had been shaky when she had answered him. She hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Is Riku alright?" Leon asked.

Aerith nodded, though Leon hadn't even looked up. "I got him bandaged up just fine," she said. "He seemed worried about Namine, but… you know…" she trailed off.

Leon didn't say anything for a moment.

Then he looked up, meeting her eyes.

And though he did nothing more, his question was clear:

"Are _you_ alright?"

She didn't reply right away. She was too busy trying to keep herself from crying again.

That was, however, all the answer Leon needed.

"Tea's still warm," he said. "You want me to get you some?"

"Y-yes please," she muttered.

Leon got up from the table and went into the kitchen. Aerith went and sat down on one of the couches. Leon brought her her tea, setting it down on the coffee table in front of her. She thanked him, quietly, and then, very slowly, she picked up her cup of tea and took a drink.

_I wonder…_ she thought after a moment. _Is there a way I could help Riku?_

_ There has to be…_

Then a thought occurred to her, and she smiled.

"Leon!" she called. "I need one of your spare shirts!"

There was silence for a second.

"What!"


	82. Born to Fight

There was a knock on the door. Riku glanced up. Aerith stood there, holding a plain white shirt in her hands. "Here," she said after a moment. "Put this on."

Riku frowned, very skeptical. "Why…?" he asked slowly.

"I'm going to wash your shirt," Aerith replied simply. "It's covered in blood, after all. And since you're just sitting here-"

Riku rolled his eyes. He pulled his shirt off and then tossed it to Aerith. She caught it and tossed him the other shirt. He caught it and put it on. He made a face. It was big, which wasn't _much_ of a problem, but it also felt funny.

"Will that be okay?" Aerith asked. "If that shirt doesn't work, I can go ask Leon for a dif-"

"It's fine," Riku interrupted. "I'm not going to be wearing it for long. So whatever."

"You sure?" Aerith said slowly.

He nodded.

"Alright," she muttered.

"Aeeriiith!" Yuffie shouted from downstairs. "We've got Heartless! And Cid's refusing to stop working to help us!"

"No I ain't!" Cid replied, his voice equally as loud. "Aerith, don't listen to her!"

Aerith closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm coming!" she called down the stairs. She turned back to Riku, who had jumped to his feet on the word "Heartless".

"Sit back down!" she commanded. "You're injured!"

"But-" he began.

She shook her head, firmly, and then headed off. Now, whether this was because she didn't want to give Riku the chance to argue, or if it was because Yuffie and Cid had started yelling again was unclear, though it was _probably_ the latter.

Slowly, Riku sat down. This time, though, he sat on the floor with his back against the bed. He glanced down at his hands. His right hand was sparking with dark energy, as if trying to summon his blade. He quickly canceled it out, and then started fingering the bandages.

_I- I want to fight…_ he thought slowly. _But- I- I'm not quite sure why. I mean, I know I'm useful in battle, and I'm really strong, too, but… you would think that I would enjoy not having to fight._

_But… I ENJOY fighting._

He closed his eyes, hands slowly clenching into his fists. Well, his left hand did, his right hand tried, but the bandages prevented it from doing so (which was probably why they were there in the first place).

_Sure, it can be annoying at times…_

_But I really do enjoy fighting._

_The thrill of dodging attack after attack from your enemy, the excitement when THEY can't avoid you, that look on their face when they realize their no match for you, the adrenaline, the battle taunts and the insults, the feeling you get after battle when your hand cramps up because you've been clutching the hilt of your blade so tightly-_

_I love it._

_But…_

_I was built to, wasn't I?_

_I was built to fight._

_That's who I am. The obstacle. The person they put in someone else's way just to delay that someone-_

He opened his eyes rather quickly. Namine had made a noise. He turned around to look at her, and found that she was perfectly fine. There was a small grimace on her face, but other than that she seemed to be sleeping in relative peace.

He sighed.

_Just because I was built to fight doesn't mean anything,_ he told himself, firmly.

_Sure, I love fighting-_

_But I've grown to love other things, too._

He turned back around and got comfortable again. After a second he frowned and tugged at the edges of the shirt he was wearing.

_Right… the problem really IS just that it's too big,_ he sighed. _I'm not used to anything that doesn't fit perfectly. My shirt was pretty tight fitting, and my pants-_

He paused and glanced down at his pants. He stared for a moment. He couldn't come up with anything to say about his pants.

Something else occurred to him then: something Sora had said a while about his dark suit-

He flashed into dark mode and then glanced down. Of course, the fact hadn't changed at all, it still had something that relatively resembled a skirt. He fingered it, and made a face. After a moment he let go of the thing that might have been a skirt and flashed out of dark mode.

"Real Thing," he muttered. "You had one _odd_ taste in clothing."

He glanced down at his hands again, or rather, at his left hand. He was still wearing the glove. He stared at it for a second, and then pulled it off. What was the point of wearing just one? Besides, he was starting to think he really didn't like wearing gloves, anyway.

_That's it,_ he decided. _I'm going to go and find myself some new clothes. I really don't like what I'm wearing right now, and NOT just because the Real Thing wore it. I just don't like it._

_But…_

He made another face.

_When am I supposed to go do that?_

_I can't go now, even if Hollow Bastion HAS a clothing shop. For starters, there's Heartless outside, and Aerith would yell at me. That, and I'm not just going to leave Namine here._

_I'll… go some other time._

XXX

"Whatcha doin'?" Joseph laughed, plopping down on the couch next to 19. 19 quickly shut the rather large three-ring binder he was glancing through before Joseph could get any ideas about it. He was, however, not fast enough. Joseph slid his hand in between the pages before he managed to get it shut all the way.

"Careful!" 19 warned.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" Joseph asked, smiling that sly smile of his. "It looked important."

"Just some research," 19 said, hoping to deter Joseph. If Joseph thought it wasn't interesting, he'd leave it alone. Besides, it was, technically, research. Research that he probably shouldn't be conducting in the Main Room, though.

He'd have to be more careful about this in the future.

"Why'd you close it so quick, then?" Joseph accused, still grinning. "If it's just research then there shouldn't be a problem with me looking at it!"

19 sighed.

He forgot Joseph was this smart sometimes.

Before he could come up with a better argument, Joseph snatched the binder away from him, managing to keep his hand between the pages the entire time.

"Joseph!" 19 gasped. "Give that back!"

"Why?"

"Joseph! I mean it! You can't look!"

Joseph just grinned. "Gimme a good reason why I can't, and I won't," he laughed.

19 grimaced and bit his lip. Joseph wasn't going to understand, not without explaining, anyway. And the amount of explanation it would take to make Joseph understand would be saying too much. He groaned and rubbed his head. Joseph's grin widened.

"You don't have a good reason, do you?" he asked.

"I'm pretty sure telling you that it's a bad idea doesn't count…" 19 muttered. "So, no. I don't have a good reason for you."

Joseph started to open the binder-

"Joseph!" 29 called. "Leave 19 alone!"

Joseph made a face, but after a moment sighed and closed the binder again. He handed it back to 19. 19 took it, silently thanking 29.

He really would need to be more careful about this binder...

"Go to Twilight Town or something," 29 told Joseph firmly. "19's in the middle of research."

"I know _that_," Joseph muttered as he rose to his feet, sounding a bit annoyed. He glanced back at 19, disappointment and annoyance clearly etched on his face. Then he sighed and smiled. "Sorry," he said. "I- I should've left you alone. It was a bit mean of me to do that..."

"No harm done," 19 assured him.

"Good," Joseph grinned and then formed a dark corridor and stepped through.

"Sorry about him," 29 sighed, walking over to 19. "I tried to tell him to leave you alone. But, well, you see how well _that_ worked."

"It's fine," 19 assured him. "He's just curious."

29 rolled his eyes.

"Too curious," he muttered, walking away.

19 sighed and opened the binder again.

_Now… when are we…?_


	83. Panic and a Nightmare

**Update Feb 2014: **The events of Can't Escape ch39-42 happen shortly after this chapter! Also, there is extra content in ASAS ch7 and 8, but that's extra content for the Can't Escape chapters. No, you don't have to read those chapters if you don't want to, this note is just here for reference. OH AND ch23 of ASAS has more extra stuff for the Can't Escape chapters. I nearly forgot!

(As a side note, you can find the Timeline for the entire FtP series on my blog, and it points out most of these references and gives chapter numbers, along with covering timing and dates and stuff.)

* * *

><p>"Riku?" Aerith called, knocking on the doorframe. "Your shirt's clean."<p>

He glanced up at her, meeting her gaze with unfocused eyes. Namine still hadn't woken up. It had been hours. Nearly seven hours, actually. He was starting to get worried. Well, "starting" was an understatement. He had started worrying about two hours ago. Five hours was a long time for her to be out. And now that it was nearing seven hours, he might as well have been panicking.

Plus, as time wore on, he had begun to notice something.

He had this nagging feeling that something was going to happen. And whatever that something was, it made him uncomfortable.

And the feeling only got worse as the hours passed.

And because of that nagging feeling, and the fact Namine hadn't woken up yet, and the fact that he was suddenly very tired, he was starting to get anxious. Anxious, and worried, and he felt like he was going to go mad if he sat here much longer.

"Are you okay?" Aerith asked.

"Namine hasn't woken up yet…" he replied, shakily. "She usually wakes up by now…"

"Maybe she was tired," Aerith said, with a shrug. "Has she slept in a while?"

Riku shook his head.

"Then she probably needs the sleep," Aerith assured him. Then she frowned, studying him intently. "You look like you could use some sleep, too," she said after a moment.

He shrugged.

"Well, there's an empty bed if you want it," she sighed. "I'm… going to make dinner soon, I just need to go get groceries first. We're completely out of food." She rubbed her head and sighed again. "We've just had soup so much recently… Will you two be staying? You don't have to eat with everyone else. You can eat in here."

Riku was silent for a moment.

It wasn't a bad offer…

But…

He shifted uncomfortably.

"I… I think we're gonna go…" he said finally. "Maybe she'd sleep better if she were in her own bed. And…" he trailed off, not entirely sure how to explain the feeling that was building inside of him.

"And…?" Aerith asked.

"I feel like something's going to happen," he whispered. "It's not… necessarily a bad thing, I just- I don't think I want to be here when it happens. There's this… icky feeling inside of me."

Aerith laughed. "I understand," she told him. "Go ahead, you don't have to stay!"

He nodded and slowly pushed himself to his feet. She threw his shirt to him.

"Just leave the one you're wearing on the bed," she called, heading out the door. "I'll come get it later."

Riku slowly shrugged off the shirt he was wearing and pulled his shirt back on. He stood there for a moment, trying to get used to it again. It felt… weird…

He decided he'd just ignore the weirdness. He laid the shirt at the end of the bed, like Aerith told him to, and then turned to Namine. He let out a small sigh.

_I hope she wakes up soon…_ he thought.

He gasped, a different thought occurring to him.

_What if she doesn't wake up?_

_ What if the meltdowns really ARE some weird virus and it just killed her!_

He knelt down next to the bed, leaning his head against her chest, gently. He could feel her heart beating, and she was breathing. He pulled his head away and then cursed himself a time or two for thinking such ridiculous things.

Then, slowly, he started to get to his feet again so he could carry her-

He stopped, remembering that Aerith didn't want him to do things like that.

So, instead, he just formed a dark corridor around the two of them.

They reappeared in Namine's room. She was lying in her bed, just like she had been lying in the bed in Hollow Bastion. He was kneeling next to her bed, just like he had been kneeling next to the bed in Hollow Bastion. He started to move so he could sit in his chair-

But…

He was starting to get sleepy.

It had been… such a tiring day.

He yawned.

Then, very slowly, he laid his head on the edge of the bed and closed his eyes.

XXX

It was the sound of faint breathing that woke her.

She lay there for a second, eyes closed, trying to get a feel for her surroundings.

She was in her bed, as always, and could feel Riku's hand tightly holding one of hers. Her head hurt, but not as much as it usually did. She frowned at that thought, because the last meltdown had certainly felt worse than the rest, and it wouldn't make sense that her head hurt less than usual-

But…

The faint breathing caught her attention again. She listened for a moment, trying to distinguish it. She had no luck.

_That's… too quiet and calm to be Riku_, she thought.

Very slowly, she opened her eyes and rolled over on to her side. Then she laughed.

_Well, usually…_

For, sure enough the breathing was coming from Riku. He was sitting on the floor next to her bed, head resting on the edge of it, sound asleep.

She smiled.

_ He looks so… peaceful…_

_ It's not often when he's peaceful._

"No, please," he mumbled, rather suddenly. Her smile fell into a frown.

_Is he… talking in his sleep?_ she thought, shocked.

"Please, I-" he continued. "I didn't mean-" His voice broke, and he shuddered all over. His breathing got quicker, the peaceful look on his face was replaced by something close to terror. He bit his lip, as if trying not to scream, and he clutched her hand tighter in his, as if it were his lifeline.

"Stop!" he gasped, frantically, voice working its way up to a shout. "Please, stop, I-"

"Hey," Namine told him, quickly, trying to calm him down. "Hey, shh! Shh, it's alright!"

He groaned, shuddering again. "It- it hurts- I- I can't-"

"It's just a dream," she said, unsure of what else she could say. "Calm down, you're just dreaming." She shifted slightly, into something that was close to a sitting position. It was hard to do, though, while Riku was still holding her hand. "Hang on," she whispered, pulling her hand away.

"Namine!" Riku gasped, catching her by the wrist with lightning fast reflexes. He appeared to be looking at her pleadingly, though his eyes were still squeezed shut. "Please don't- don't leave me!"

She stared at him, taken aback by this.

"I- I'm not going to leave you," she assured him after a moment, hoping that she sounded more sure about the fact than she thought she did. "Just- just hold on a second, okay?"

He nodded, though his breath was still shaky. The look on his face suggested that he was still in pain. She swallowed, and then gently pulled her hand away from him again, shifting into a proper sitting position. Then, carefully, she pulled his head into her lap.

"It's okay," she told him again, kindly. "You're only dreaming."

After a bit of hesitation, she ran her fingers through his hair. He calmed almost instantly, and let out a long, rather content, sigh. She smiled softly.

"Only dreaming…" he mumbled.


	84. the pLan

Oh gosh, reading through this again, I realize why it was such a PAIN to right. I HATE being in 37's head... it's... ugh. *shudder*

anyway, hope I delayed this enough. I didn't want to ruin your Holiday Spirits with this. Besides that, though, I don't REALLY have anything else to say. I might have. I've forgotten it now. Sorry.

* * *

><p>They were in his office. 37 stood at his computer, trying to boot it up (it had decided it was going to be slow). L sat in the desk chair, holding her injured hand. She was turning the chair from side to side, looking rather bored, though she said nothing of the sort. Instead, she complained about Riku.<p>

37 politely tuned her out.

"Sir."

37 glanced up. Tulip stood in the doorway.

"He's acting up again," Tulip said, rather simply.

37 rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the computer. "I don't see why you're bothering _me _with this," he muttered. "Why don't you go tell Saix?"

"Saix told me to tell you," Tulip replied.

37 groaned and rubbed his head. "I don't know what he expects me to do about this. I'm no good with-"

"I'll take care of it!" L exclaimed, hopping to her feet.

"No," 37 told her simply, throwing a look over his shoulder at her.

She made a face. "Why not?" she whined.

"Because you're just going to start chucking lightning at him the moment he stops listening to you," 37 replied. He drummed his fingers on the desk, a tad annoyed. His computer was being _ridiculously_ slow.

"I do need to work on my lightning technique…" L muttered, thoughtfully. "Considering my manipulation isn't as good as I thought it was… Riku should've stayed knocked out for at least a half hour…"

"Even so, I'm not sure I want you doing anything until your hand is fixed," 37 said. He let out a small sigh of relief when his computer finally loaded, and quickly pulled up the Repair Program.

L rolled her eyes. "I'll down a potion. That'll fix it."

"The answer is still no," 37 sighed. "You're going to end up throwing lightning, and I'm sure that Saix isn't going to be happy if-"

"Saix doesn't have a heart to be unhappy with!" L retorted. "And it's his fault for keeping that stupid-"

"You might want to watch what you say," 37 warned, throwing another look at her. "If Saix finds out I told you about him…"

L quickly closed her mouth.

"Saix would like to speak with you, sir," Tulip said, very simply.

37 groaned. He wasn't _really_ in the mood to speak with Saix at the moment. The last raid had gone pretty terribly, and most of it was his fault. Plus, there were plenty of other problems that weren't getting solved.

That issue with Joseph…

The other issue that Joseph might be the solution to.

The fact Saix wasn't very happy that he might need Joseph's help.

The fact the Organization wasn't happy due to their lack of a Keyblade Wielder.

The Rebellion.

Riku.

The disruption on _this_ side of things, ever since about half the Larxene Replicas decided they were going to be jealous of, or at least work up a strong dislike towards, L.

L herself could be considered an issue…

_No,_ 37 told himself. _The issue is how everyone regards the two of us. Therefore, _I_ can be considered an issue, too._

_ The two of us…_

_ Just another reason I don't want to talk to Saix right now._

_He may not actually say anything, but I know he disapproves…_

His discomfort on the matter must have shown in some way, because L placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I know you don't want to talk to him," she breathed in his ear. "But you need to remember the plan."

Of course.

The plan.

He had nearly forgotten.

"Right," he said, nodding slightly. "I'll go talk to him in a minute. First, we should fix your hand."

She made a face.

He threw a glance at her, slightly annoyed. However… only slightly.

"I'll… be going… then…" Tulip said slowly. And, saying no more, he headed out, closing the door behind him.

L watched him go, a small smile growing on her face. "You know," she said after a moment. "We did a pretty good job Rewriting him. I wouldn't assume he used to be as awkward as he was, looking at him now."

She laughed then, sounding absolutely thrilled.

"Just _imagine_ what we could do to Namine, then, when we Rewrite her!" she exclaimed. "It would be so-"

"Dear," 37 interrupted. "You're speaking as if we're going to be Rewriting her soon; I haven't even run this by Saix yet."

"Oh please," she scoffed. "We don't _need_ Saix's permission!"

He sighed.

She had a point.

He hadn't needed Saix permission for other things…

However…

"We've still got to worry about Riku," he pointed out.

She shrugged. "Details," she muttered.

He laughed.

"Here, let me see your hand," he said.

She sighed and held her injured hand out to him. He took it, gently, and then carefully specified what he wanted the Repair Program to fix, so that he wouldn't hurt her. Once he had done that, he hit the ENTER key on the computer.

Her hand glowed blue.

Then it flashed red.

37 frowned, staring for a second in disbelief. He hit ENTER again.

He got the same results.

A window popped up on the computer.

"ERROR!" it read. "NO DATA MATCHES. REPAIR COULD NOT BE COMPLETED."

"What's going on?" L demanded, slightly angry. Her hand was beginning to hurt again.

"It's not working," 37 muttered.

"Yes, I can see that," she replied bitterly. "Do you have any idea _why?_"

"No," he sighed, entering a few commands on the computer. "It told me there were no Data matches, but that can't be right." He entered another command. "Unless… my computer's been disconnected from the Database somehow, which is unlikely." He groaned and rubbed his head, waiting for his computer to pull something up. He absolutely _hated_ slow computers. "Maybe if we were to try from a different computer…" he muttered.

"We don't have time for that," L told him. "I'll just down a potion, like I said. You need to go talk to Saix!"

He sighed. "Got it," he muttered. And, even though it killed him to do so, he turned away from his computer and started for the door.

L caught him by the shoulder, stopping him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

He turned to her, eyebrows raised.

She handed him his headset, frowning slightly. "You weren't going to forget it, were you?"

"Of course not," he replied, hastily putting it on.

She rolled her eyes, probably not believing him at all, and then sat back down in the chair. She picked up her walkie-talkie from the desk.  
>"Don't screw this up," she said into it, regarding 37 with a rather sharp look.<p>

He smiled slightly.

"Wouldn't dream of it."


	85. deLayed conversation

sorry I'm grossing you out. It's their fault. Thankfully, this conversation will be the last of it.

well... the next to chapters, because the conversation TOOK FOREVER! *headdesk*

however, I never plan on writing something with just 37 and L ever again. That was TORTURE to write.

I might have had more to say, but I don't remember any of it, so ask your questions and I'll be sure to answer them. Sometime.

* * *

><p>"37!"<p>

He turned around. Saix was walking towards him. Saix looked rather, well… not particularly happy, but not particularly upset or angry either. However, that did not change the fact that he _sounded_ pretty angry. 37 did his best to act as if that didn't bother him.

"Ah, sir!" he exclaimed. "I was just coming to speak with you."

"Smooth," L laughed.

He had to make a conscious effort not to reply to her. Things would go downhill pretty quickly if Saix knew she was eavesdropping on this entire conversation.

"And why did it take you this long to come to speak with me?" Saix asked, his voice like ice. "Usually, you report to me much sooner after raids."

"Don't you dare _think_ of telling him that _I'm_ what delayed you!" L warned, rather hastily and a tad loudly.

"A few things came up," 37 replied, casually reaching up and adjusting the volume on his headset so that L wouldn't make him go deaf next time that she yelled. "I'll be sure to report to you sooner next time."

Saix was silent for a moment, regarding him with a look that he couldn't quite read. 37 frowned. He never liked not having a rough idea of what Saix was thinking.

_He is a Nobody…_ 37 reminded himself. _It's not like he actually has a heart to properly display emotions with. No expression is better than angry one…_

"You failed again, didn't you." It was not a question. It was a statement.

37 frowned.

"Tell him it's not _our_ fault that Riku didn't behave like we expected him to!" L hissed.

37 refrained from rolling his eyes and then told Saix plainly:

"Things just didn't turn out like we had hoped."

To 37's surprise, Saix almost laughed then. "That's why you don't _hope_," he said. "Hope is an absolutely meaningless emotion. It is merely another way of deluding yourself into believing that everything will turn out fine, thus making you neglect to plan accordingly."

"It was merely an expression," 37 argued. "Besides, hope is a typical human emotion. And, as I recall, it can often help one out of a desperate situation by giving them the strength to keep going."

"As I recall, _you_ are not human," Saix replied coldly.

Despite himself, 37 flinched.

Saix may not have actually snapped, but the tone was clear.

37 quickly swallowed the rest of that argument.

"I apologize, sir," he muttered, turning away. "We just didn't properly account for all the possible outcomes of the situation. I'll be sure it doesn't happen again."

"What are you doing!" L gasped. 37 made a face and again turned the volume on his headset down. "You usually don't give up an argument that easily! And why are you apologizing to him! We didn't-"

"Do you want this to work or not?" he asked sharply, though he was sure to be quiet in doing so, so that Saix wouldn't hear him.

She went silent.

_Besides, if I kept arguing that, you could've kissed both me and that plan of ours goodbye,_ 37 added silently.

He cleared his throat.

"Though, sir, you have to admit," he said. "Riku is a pretty unpredictable force to deal with."

Saix frowned. "I thought that was why you took L with you, even though I specifically forbade the Larxene Replicas to continue going on raids. We've lost nearly half of them by now with the way Riku's been killing them."

"He hasn't managed to kill me yet!" L laughed. "Actually pretty proud of myself!"

"That's only because I've been there for you," 37 breathed.

She was silent for a moment. "Yeah…" she said finally, though she sounded like she didn't entirely want to admit it. "Some of that, I guess. I do okay on my own."

37 couldn't help smile at that.

There was no way he was going to get her to admit that she needed his help.

But it didn't hurt to try.

He quickly covered up his smile, though, knowing that there might be issues if Saix caught it.

"Well, as I said," he continued. "We weren't expecting Riku to behave the way he did."

"Namine, too," L added, sounding a tad annoyed. "She woke up sooner than she should've, too!"

37 nodded.

"Namine fought back harder than we expected, too," he told Saix. "She's… got a lot of determination."

"Plus, that stupid 19 had to go and warn her of what I was doing!" L continued, the annoyance in her voice growing.

"19 caused us a few problems, too," 37 told Saix calmly.

"I would've had her, too!" L said, now sounding angry. "But, oh no! Riku had to go and rescue her at the very last second!" A loud _thwump_ followed this, as if she had angrily pounded the desk.

"Careful," 37 warned.

"And to make it _worse_: he can fight left-handed! That just isn't fair!"

37 thought of turning his headset off for a bit and letting her rant, but then thought better of it. She wouldn't be very happy if she found out that he had, and he didn't really want to deal with that. He had enough issues right now.

"Anything _else_ in particular?" Saix asked.

37 frowned, getting an odd feeling that Saix was asking for other reasons than actually wanting to know. However… it was incredibly hard to read Saix…

"Namine was being uncooperative," he replied, anyway. "Riku continued to protect her even though he had been severely injured, and…"

He frowned. The next thing L had listed had been the part about him chucking icicles at the door of the Rebellion's Computer Room.

"No," he told her, firmly. "I am _not_ mentioning that!"

She was quiet for a second, as she thought about it. "Ah! Joseph!" she exclaimed. "_He_ was giving me grief!"

"Joseph was causing trouble as well," 37 finished.

Saix stared at him for a moment, a rather odd expression on his face. "Speaking of Joseph," he said finally. "Would you care to explain why he hasn't been kidnapped yet?"

37 held his hands up in defeat.

"I sent Berserkers after him! It's not _my_ fault a bunch of Keyblade Wielders showed up and killed them all!"

"What's this I hear about Keyblade Wielders?"

Confused, both 37 and Saix glanced around, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

"He's up," L said after a moment.

37 glanced up. Sure enough, there was Xigbar (or… was it his clone?), sitting, upside down, on the ceiling. He was looking down at them, grinning slightly.

"Do you want me to come down there?" he called.

"What are _you_ doing eavesdropping?" Saix replied coldly.

"You might want to watch how you speak to your superiors," Xigbar laughed. After a bit of space manipulation, he was standing right side up next to them. "Besides, I don't think I'm the _only_ one eavesdropping!" He cast a glance over at 37.

37 stared right back at him, so that it wouldn't be _completely_ obvious that Xigbar was right in his accusation. It was hard to, though. There was something about the look in Xigbar's eyes...

"You're the real Xigbar, then?" he asked plainly.

"I… think so…" Xigbar replied, pretending to sound unsure about the fact. He made a face and placed a hand over his chest. Then he grinned. "Nope! Don't got a heart! I must be the real Xigbar!"

37 stared.

Xigbar only continued to grin.

"Don't you think someone should tell Xemnas that we've got a couple Keyblade Wielders running through the worlds?" he asked, completely casual about it. "Maybe we can get back on track with forming Kingdom Hearts. I mean, we've fallen _pretty_ _far_ behind schedule ever since we lost Roxas." He glanced over at Saix then.

Saix seemed to almost flinch under the weight of that look. 37 smiled, glad that it wasn't just him.

"Roxas betrayed the Organization," Saix said, voice tense.

"I know!" Xigbar laughed. "I hear there was a girl involved!"

37 frowned. He had never paid much attention to Roxas, nor had he given the girl, Xion, much thought, either. Roxas hadn't been a large part of the Replica Program, and Xion was a mistake.

One of the few Replicas he considered a mistake, actually.

Maybe it was just the Vexen in him, but he felt that "mistake" was too harsh a term to use most of the time.

The kids, the experiments, were just that: experiments. Not mistakes.

Not all of the failed Replicas were mistakes, either. They had merely failed.

And, unlike most people, he didn't consider Namine to be a mistake. Sure, she was a bit unstable, but from what he knew of what her data had been through, she turned out surprisingly well.

The word "mistake" was used too frequently…

At any rate, he hadn't been aware that Xion and Roxas had been… involved.

"What's the news of Keyblade Wielders going to do?" L asked, breaking his thought process. She sounded confused, a tad annoyed even, as if she found the idea ridiculous. "It's not like we can replicate them or anything!"

"I think they plan on sending Heartless out into the Worlds," 37 explained to her, quietly. "The Keyblade Wielders would have to go destroy the Heartless to keep the Worlds in balance, and when they destroy Heartless-"

"The released hearts go to the Organization's Kingdom Hearts," L finished, sounding even more annoyed than she had before. "I'm know _that_. I'm not stupid!"

37 started to reply to that-

"See!" Xigbar laughed, rather suddenly. "I _said_ I wasn't the only one eavesdropping!"

37 closed his mouth.

Saix threw a glare over at him.

Xigbar smirked.

"Who're you talking to?" he asked.

"No one," 37 replied, calmly.

"I bet you're talking to that Larxene Replica of yours," Xigbar continued, obviously not believing 37 one bit.

"It was _nothing,_" 37 insisted, firmly. "Just a small issue. I can deal with it later."

Xigbar rolled his eyes. "Small issue?" he scoffed. "As if!" He started off then. "I'm gonna go tell Xemnas about the Keyblade Wielders," he called over his shoulder. "You two can go back to what you were doing!"

"Finally! I thought he'd _never_ leave!" L said with a sigh of relief. "He was going to start causing trouble if he stayed any longer…"

37 thought about replying, but then thought better of it. He wasn't liking the glare that Saix was giving him right now. He swallowed.

"You can go now, 37," Saix said, coldly. "Unless you _want_ to continue to waste my time." He turned on his heel and started off.

37 stared, unsure of what to do.

This was NOT how things were supposed to go.

L muttered something very unkind towards Xigbar. "Quick!" she snapped. "Stop him! Say something!"

"Sir!" 37 called.

Saix slowly stopped. "37," he said, not even bothering to turn around. "I am tired of your failures and pathetic excuses. What is it that you want?"

"Well, I was thinking…" 37 replied, slowly. "If we were to try a different approach, maybe the raids would produce better results."

Saix turned to him then, not amused at all. "I think you just need to try harder," he said plainly.

37 made a face. "You think I'm not trying my hardest?" he snapped, his fists clenching together with anger.

"Calm down, sweetie!" L warned. "He's toying with you! Just keep your cool and blame it on Riku!"

37 quickly closed his mouth and did his best to regain his composure. "Riku is just a nuisance," he said, slowly. "I can't help it if he always gets in the way at the last second."

"Send someone _else_ to go distract him, then," Saix replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the Worlds, and he turned to head off.

"Shoot!" L said. "Tell him that that won't work! That, uh, Riku's too strong and- and we'll just lose more people if we do that!"

37 frowned, but then slowly said: "That won't work, sir. Riku'll end up killing everyone we send after him."

"Ooh! It sounded even better when you said it!"

37 ignored her.

Saix raised his eyebrows.

"Humor me, then," he said. "What do you suggest we do?"

"We can- uh…" L paused, fumbling for what she was supposed to tell him to say next. "If we can… ah crap."

"Remove Riku from the equation?" 37 suggested.

"Yes! That's what I was looking for!"

37 just smiled and shook his head.

"You aren't suggesting trying to kill him, are you?" Saix asked.

"No, we-" 37 began.

"Leave me out of this!" L interrupted, crossly. "We're on a roll here! He might lose interest if he hears this was my idea!"

"_I _was thinking," 37 continued. "Maybe we could do something more… personal."

"Like what?" Saix asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice, now.

"If we captured Namine," 37 explained, slowly. "We could easily Rewrite her. I'm not… entirely sure _what_ we'd Rewrite her into, but there are thousands of possibilities. All of which could easily remove Riku from the equation because he's too busy worrying about her or-"

"We Rewrite her to kill him," Saix finished.


	86. Toying with Fate

well, the original idea for this chapter was "pLaying with fate" but I liked "toying better"

that's about all I have to say. I'm kicking myself for not just uploading this all in one go. The conversation hardly makes sense when it's only half of it. Hopefully now that you have the rest of the converastion, things'll make sense.

if not, I have replied to all the questions to your reviews on my blog...

oh! archsage! I got your review RIGHT AFTER I posted to my blog, so I didn't catch your comment on Xigbar. I'm glad he amused you!

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><p>"We Rewrite her to kill him," Saix finished.<p>

37 swallowed the rest of what he was going to say. He regarded Saix for a moment in stunned silence, unsure of… quite what he was supposed to think.

That idea was… well, slightly obvious.

Not terribly bad.

And-

"That is _cruel!_" L exclaimed. She sounded just as shocked as he felt. "Why didn't I think of that!"

37 chuckled slightly.

Of course she was annoyed about that.

"Not a bad idea, sir," he told Saix.

"_Not bad?_" L interrupted. "It's _perfect!_ Have you _seen_ the way he acts around her? He wouldn't fight back! He'd just sit there and let her kill him! _Perfect! _And you know what makes it even more perfect?" She paused for a second, probably just for dramatic effect. "We still have access to Riku's memories! We can figure out what'd hurt him the _most_, and then turn her into- wait! Where'd they go!"

37 frowned.

"Where'd _what_ go?" he hissed.

"His memories!" she replied, rather frantic. "They're not there anymore!"

37 rolled his eyes. "He probably deleted them," he said calmly. "You _did_ mention them to him, remember?"

"Well, yeah," L admitted. "But I didn't think he'd be coherent enough to understand me…"

37 smiled slightly, imaging the rather dejected look that was most likely on her face at the moment.

"37," Saix said, breaking his thoughts. "You aren't ignoring me, are you?"

"No, sir," 37 replied, quickly. "Sorry. I told L that she could bother me if there was an emergency, and with Larxene Replicas an 'emergency' happens almost every ten seconds. It won't happen again. Right?"

He directed this last part at L.

"Right. Of course," she replied, roughly.

37 frowned. She wasn't usually so rough. Nor did she agree to _anything_ so quickly.

He hadn't… offended her… had he?

He thought about asking her about it, and then realized that that would be a _bad_ idea. Saix was already suspicious enough. He couldn't risk making things worse.

_I'll have to apologize later,_ he concluded.

Saix rolled his eyes.

"You're suggesting we focus on capturing Namine instead of trying to retrieve the Program, then?" he asked. He either hadn't seen through 37's excuse and was content with it as an explanation or didn't see the point of trying to press the issue.

37 nodded.

"They definitely won't be expecting it," he said. "And h-" He paused, remembering what Saix had said earlier about the word "hope." He swallowed, and then said instead: "That should be enough to give us the upper-hand."

"Do you think that will be enough to stop Riku?"

37 shrugged. "If not, I'm sure it can't be _too_ hard to distract him long enough to grab her. The main problem we ran into earlier was being in a corridor-proof area. And that shouldn't-"

L swore, rather suddenly and _loudly_ in his ear. 37 winced.

"Must you?" he asked, annoyed. "And this better be an-"

"His memories aren't the only thing that's missing. _All_ the data's gone," was her response.

He paled.

"What!"

"He must've deleted _everything_ while he was at it," L said with a groan. "Because we have _nothing_!"

"It's not just my computer, is it?" 37 asked, a tad desperate. "It _was_ having issues earlier."

"I had someone else check already. It's _not _just your computer."

37 swore.

"Is there a problem, 37?" Saix said, sounding actually a bit amused by this.

"They- They've wiped the database," 37 replied. He almost didn't want to admit it, as if that would change the fact that it had happened.

Saix's amusement quickly fell into a glare.

"Couldn't that have been avoided?" he demanded.

37 grimaced.

"Not _really_, sir," he muttered. "We can't lock them out of the database. It wasn't designed that way. I- I mean, I suppose if Riku hadn't-"

"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence!" L warned. "That would make it seem like it's my fault!"

37 slowly closed his mouth.

"If Riku hadn't what?" Saix pressed.

"If…" 37 began, slowly. He sighed. "If I hadn't mentioned the Database to him, he- he may not have thought of doing this. Since no one- it couldn't have been anyone else. No Replica actually _thinks_ of deleting the database. I- I didn't even consider it to be an issue, otherwise I would've taken the time to make sure they couldn't-"

"Well it's a bit late for that now, isn't it?" Saix snapped, bitterly.

"Sorry, sir," 37 whispered, turning away.

Saix sighed.

"Will there be any problems with Rewriting Namine?"

37 shook his head. "Not any _major_ problems. I remember enough of the basic protocol that we can still Rewrite her. It might… take more time, though."

"Then you might want to get started on that now," Saix said. "Then you can just apply the coding to her as soon as we have her captured."

37 nodded.

"Of course, sir."

Saix turned and walked away.

"That took more effort than I thought it would…" 37 sighed, watching him go. After a moment, he turned around and started back towards his office. "Oh well, it could've been worse."

"Did you just… take the blame for me?" L asked, slowly. She sounded very unsure, and rather surprised.

"Saix wanted an answer," he replied with a shrug (even though he knew that shrugging was really pointless). "A wrong answer is much better than no answer at all."

She sighed.

37 thought about saying more, but then paused. Maybe she had more to say…

"I can't believe Riku actually thought of wiping the database," she muttered, bitterly. "I mean, _seriously!_ Who actually _thinks_ of things like that!"

37 grimaced. That was _not_ what he had been hoping she'd say.

"Now we know why the Repair Program wasn't working," he sighed.

_Which might just be why Riku went through with it, actually…_

_ He's…_

_ A genius._

The thought was bitter. He didn't quite want to admit that.

"It's fine," L assured him. "I'll just down a potion, like I said I would."

"There's an elixir in the top drawer of my desk if you want it."

There was silence for a moment, and then-

"Thank you," she whispered.

37 smiled. He had a pretty good feeling that she wasn't thanking him for the elixir.

"Sure thing," he said, as if it were nothing.

"No, really, you didn't have to-" she trailed off, as if she wasn't quite sure where she had wanted to go with that sentence.

Actually, it sounded more like she didn't want to be saying it at all.

He sighed and shook his head slightly.

How typical.

He started to say something in response to that, but he got only about the first syllable out before someone bumped into him on their way past.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" he snapped, turning to see who it was. His eyes narrowed with anger. It was Axel.

Of course.

"Me?" Axel asked over his shoulder. "_You're_ the one too busy talking to that Larxene Replica to pay attention to where you're going!" He turned to 37 then, eyebrows raised. "Don't you think you're spending too much time with her?"

37 frowned. Axel sounded too amused for his liking.

"What's it to you?" he replied, trying to sound as if he wasn't bothered.

"Just saying," Axel said with a shrug, walking past 37 again. "You might want to be careful what other people think, though." He turned back around to face 37, a glint in his eyes. "I've heard rumors that you two have been plotting something."

"Like what?"

Axel made an 'I-don't-know' gesture. "They _were_ only rumors," he admitted. "But…"

He made to walk past 37 again, but stopped next to him, so that they were standing shoulder to shoulder.

"I'll warn you, though," he said, very quietly. "As soon as you make him angry, he won't stop until he's destroyed everything in his path."

37 glanced over at him, and then grimaced. He couldn't quite read Axel's facial expression at the moment.

"If you are plotting something," Axel continued, not dropping a beat. "And if it in any way defies the Organization, both of you will be marked as traitors. Traitors are eliminated, no matter how high a status they hold."

He started walking.

"And, my luck," he said with a bitter laugh. "_I'll_ be the one sent to eliminate you."

He paused and threw a look back at 37.

"You better hope I have the heart to be kind to you."

37 grimaced, not liking how he had emphasized the word "heart".

"Because if I don't-" Axel almost laughed here, and began walking again. "You can just expect me to just drop you two off in Castle Oblivion and let Riku take care of you. _He_ won't hesitate to eliminate you."

And before 37 could say anymore, Axel was gone.

Axel allowed himself a smirk once he was far enough away from 37 for said smirk to be noticed. The smirk, however, quickly became a grin as he ran his fingers over the key again.

_Can't believe he didn't notice me snag this!_

_ Either I scared him enough, or he really WAS paying too much attention to that Larxene Replica._

He grimaced then.

He didn't quite like that thought.

He quickly pocketed the key before anyone noticed he had it.

_Saix is going to have a fun time figuring THIS one out,_ he laughed to himself. He paused and clutched his chest.

_Am I… enjoying this?_

_ I'm enjoying this!_

He grimaced, not quite sure what he was supposed to make of the emotion that he was currently feeling even though he shouldn't be able to feel it.

He decided he would just ignore it.

He had other things to do.


	87. Lonely Girl

**Updated Sept 3 2014 - **I rewrote this scene to address a few continuity issues like 1) Riku and Namine's living situations on Destiny Islands, 2) how Kairi's dad _didn't notice _that Sora was gone for three months, and less importantly 3) Kairi's hair.

I know initially she got the red hair from her father (who, yes, is still her biological father), but I realized it made more sense for her to have gotten it from her mother. It's not _impossible _for the race I'm assuming Destiny Island natives are to have red hair (dark skin and red hair _is _possible I looked it up) BUT it's not likely, and since Kairi's mom wasn't born on Destiny Islands, chances are higher that she had the red hair. So I changed it so she does have the red hair and Kairi's dad does not.

"rar why are you talking so much about Kairi's hair when that's the least important thing here?" BECAUSE THE OTHER TWO THINGS ARE BROUGHT UP IN STORY

If you want the original draft of this scene, it's in ASAS. I don't know which chapter number specifically but it'll probably be labeled "DIch87 original draft" or something along those lines

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><p>"Kairi, I know you don't like leftover night, but you're looking <em>extremely <em>downtrodden tonight," her father said. He was a tall man with dark skin and hair cropped to his ears. He shared a face shape with his daughter, and while they shared little besides that, she had inherited being tall from him. Or, being _kind _of tall. (She was a full inch taller than Sora, not that Sora'd ever admit it.)

Kairi's dad finished rinsing off his plate and turned to look at her. His brow was creased with worry, though his voice was casual as he asked: "What's up?"

Kairi sighed, stirring her cereal around in her bowl. It had gone soggy ages ago, and was now only serving as something to occupy her hands with. Her stomach was complaining to her, but she didn't really have the energy to find something else to eat.

She _really_ didn't like leftover night.

"I'm okay, Dad," she said.

He pulled a chair away from the table and sat down across from her. She threw a glance up at him, watching as he folded his arms across the table and rested his chin on them.

He looked up at her.

"Is something happening in school?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Got a large amount of homework tonight?"

She shook her head again.

Her dad made a face.

"What about the school dance coming up? Aren't you excited for that?"

"Not going," she replied, spooning up a few pieces of cereal and letting them fall back into her bowl. She didn't look at her dad.

"Not going!" he exclaimed, sitting up straight. "But you told Selphie—"

"I only told Selphie that I was going so that she'd leave me alone," Kairi muttered, stirring her cereal around some more. "I'm not going without Sora."

Silence passed for a moment. Then her father pushed himself to his feet.

"Grab your coat," he said, taking her bowl from her. "We're getting ice cream."

**xxx**

Approximately ten minutes later found them sitting at a booth in the corner of a surprisingly empty ice cream shop. Kairi had her suspicions that her dad might've had something to do with that—the shop being empty, anyway. He was the mayor, after all. He could've easily requested that no one else be allowed in.

"So why aren't you going to the school dance?" her dad asked, again.

She sighed and scooped up a spoonful of her ice cream. "Because it wouldn't be the same without Sora," she muttered, eyeing her spoonful of ice cream with perhaps _too_ much interest.

Her dad didn't say anything right away.

She glanced up at him, shocked.

"_Please_ tell me you remember who Sora is!"

"I- I do. I do," her father replied. He grimaced, though, and rubbed his face. "He's your best friend and you've known each other since you two were in diapers. I do remember him. I just…."

"Well, he's been gone for, like, four months now," Kairi said, a little annoyed. She eyed her dad with confusion, but decided not to voice her worries. Not yet, anyway.

"Has he?" her dad seemed surprised. He took a hesitant bite of his ice cream. "…right. Okay. Where's he been?"

Kairi's eyes narrowed further. How had her dad not noticed…? Not that she was in the mood to press the issue right now. She wasn't even in the mood to talk about Sora _at all._

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you…" she mumbled.

"Try me."

Kairi sighed. Even if she wasn't in the mood, there was no point trying to avoid the subject. Her dad would somehow squeeze it out of her eventually.

Besides… she hated not being able to talk to anyone about it…

"He's in another world," she said, quietly.

"That would explain it," her dad mused. He took another bite of his ice cream, but said nothing else.

Kairi frowned at him. For the most part, her ice cream had been forgotten.

"Explain _what?_" she demanded.

"It… mm…" Kairi's dad chewed his lip, likely trying to piece his thoughts together.

"Hang on!" Kairi exclaimed, very quickly losing interest. She just realized… "_You _know about other worlds?"

Her dad hadn't even _blinked _when she mentioned Sora was in another world. Everyone else usually laughed it off, told her she was being silly, or changed the subject very, _very_ quickly.

Kairi's dad just raised his eyebrows at her. "I'd be a pretty lousy mayor if I didn't," he said. There was a small smirk on his face.

Kairi laughed, a laugh that was of both disbelief and relief at the same time. She leaned back in her chair, still staring at her dad. He chuckled and took another bite of ice cream.

"You seem surprised," he said.

"_Surprised?_" She laughed again. "Dad, I've spent the past month _avoiding_ everyone because they all ask what's wrong and I can't actually tell them the truth because I know they won't believe me! You don't understand how much of a relief it is to finally have someone to talk to!"

"I would've asked you about this sooner, princess, but work's kept me really busy…" The smirk on his face fell to a grimace, as if he'd taken a bite of something that tasted rather foul.

"It's okay, Dad," she said, taking another bite of her ice cream. She found a smile turning up the edges of her mouth. It felt a little strange—she hadn't smiled this broadly since Namine left.

The sat for a moment, eating their ice cream. Kairi felt a little… warmer, inside. More comfortable. More at peace. …happier? She wasn't quite sure how to describe the feeling, but knowing that her dad knew of other worlds definitely took a load off her chest.

"Ahh, say princess," Kairi's dad said. "Did you have… another friend? A girl. With… blond hair."

The good feeling vanished. The smile vanished from Kairi's face. Her jaw dropped quick enough that the bite of ice cream she'd just taken fell out of her mouth and back into her bowl.

"_Namine?_" she asked. She quickly grabbed a napkin to wipe her chin.

"Ah! yes! That's her!" Kairi's dad clapped his hands together and leaned back in his seat, looking quite pleased with himself.

Kairi kept gaping.

"You _forgot _about Namine!? Dad, she _lived _with us!"

Forgetting Sora was one thing. Nearly everyone else on the island had. His parents hadn't quite seemed to, but Kairi had been avoiding them. Telling them that their son had fallen into darkness and might not be coming back? That wasn't something she could stomach.

Granted, she hadn't talked to anyone about Namine either. Actually, now that she _thought _about it, no one had mentioned her since she left, like everyone stopped mentioning Sora.

But… but that still didn't explain her _dad _forgetting Namine. She'd lived with them. They hadn't been able to get her a place to stay like they had with Riku—he'd ended up moving in with some fisherman who was out all the time and had a spare bed. Namine'd ended up sharing a room with Kairi.

(Part of the reason why Riku _hadn't _stayed with them was because Kairi'd thought having to share a room with him was weird, and he'd agreed. She couldn't remember for the life of her why Riku hadn't stayed with _Sora, _though. It might've had something to do with Sora's parents not wanting an extra mouth to feed.)

"You didn't mention she'd left though," Kairi's dad argued.

Kairi grimaced. He had her there… but he'd been so busy with work and she'd kept… forgetting to _mention. _Like it fell right through her mind every time she meant to bring it up.

Her dad sighed, though, and rubbed at his face again, exasperated. "You're not entirely at fault, sweetheart," he said. He let out a huffy breath of air. "There's… it's… it's complicated. There's something about…"

He trailed off, poking at his ice cream. It was only half eaten, and most of it had become soup in his bowl.

"Yeah?" Kairi prompted. Her own ice cream was basically soup except for a chunk or two of it, which was unfortunate. She didn't like soupy ice cream.

Her dad kept staring at his ice cream as he thought. "Well… I'm not sure what it is, exactly. But… but I know if someone leaves and is gone for a long time, people on this island start to forget them. At least, if you don't have strong ties to the person." He chuckled, ruefully. "If you do, well, you manage to keep them in your memory."

"…you're kidding."

"I'm not!" He looked up at her, his voice raising a little, squeaking a little as he tried to defend himself. "See, Kairi, no one remembers your mother. It's one thing that you don't remember her—you were little when she left. But everyone _else _on the island forgot about her." He tapped his fingers against the edge of the table, a gesture that worried Kairi a little. He only did that when he was distressed. "I thought- I thought they were just trying to be polite, but even when I bring her up they act like they hardly know who she is."

"I noticed that, too…." Kairi admitted, slowly.

It wasn't like she'd asked about her mother _often, _but she had on occasion, out of curiosity. Everyone she'd asked had only been able to reply with distracted answers. And they'd all seemed a little distant when talking about her mom, as if trying hard to recall something that wasn't _quite _there.

"But… why does that happen?" Kairi asked. "Why do they forget?"

Kairi's dad shrugged. He stopped tapping on the table to scoop up a spoonful of ice cream.

"Beats me! I assume it has to do with keeping up the world order. People aren't _really _supposed to know there's more than one world. It unsettles them." He shrugged again, and stuck the spoon in his mouth.

Kairi was too interested in the conversation to care about the ice cream anymore, and besides, it was definitely _way _too melted for her tastes now. She shoved it to the side. "Is it like…. a magic spell or something? On the island?"

"No clue." Her dad spoke around a mouthful of ice cream. "I was definitely there before I became Mayor, though."

"Huh."

Kairi's dad quickly finished the last of his ice cream, then pulled Kairi's discarded bowl to him.

"So you forgot about Sora and Riku and Namine?" Kairi asked him.

Her dad swallowed.

"Sora…. not so much. I mean." He sighed. "I was aware of the fact Sora was gone. I'd realized it. I really had. _But…_ the nagging feeling you two'd just gotten into a fight kept working its way into my head and every time I wanted to bring it up you'd seem upset or I'd find something else to do or…." He trailed off and shrugged, shaking his head. "You see what I mean about thinking there's a spell on this island? Sora's like a _son _to me and yet I still had trouble keeping track of him!"

Kairi laughed a little. "I believed your theory about the spell, Dad."

"Good!"

"But you really did forget Riku and Namine?"

He grimaced, but nodded. "For a while there, yeah. Yeah I did. I'm glad I can remember them _now _though. Hmm… Maybe I should find a magician to call out here and see if there actually _is_ a spell, and more importantly, how to make _me_ immune to it." He slapped a hand against the table. "A mayor should know who comes and goes on his island!"

Kairi giggled a little. Her dad smiled.

"Right, well, now that we've got that cleared up," he said. "Where _is_ Namine? And Riku, too, I suppose."

"I don't know where Riku is," Kairi answered, quite honestly. "But I know Namine went to go looking for him, and I know she found him. I ended up meeting one of their friends a while back… and he told me."

She'd forgotten whether or not Joseph had told her _where _Riku and Namine were, unfortunately. She felt like he might have, but…..

"Okay. Good for them. Great for them." Kairi's dad nodded, then leaned in a little closer to her. "What about you? You gonna look for Sora?"

Kairi stared.

Her dad laughed. "Don't give me that look, princess. I know you want to—if you didn't want to I'd be a little worried about you. I wanted to go after for your mother after she left. …where'd Sora go, anyway? Why'd he want to leave?"

Kairi was still staring, but now she felt a little sick to her stomach. This was the question she hadn't wanted to answer. She hadn't anticipated telling her father to be so frightening, but…

"He- he wanted to see what else was- was out there," she forced herself to say. Her tongue fumbled over the words. "But- but it wasn't that he _left! _It's that he hasn't come _back!_" She wasn't quite sure how to explain it, but she plodded on. "He- we all sort of left and then me and Namine and Riku came back but Sora wasn't there and Riku left immediately to go look for Sora and I haven't heard from him since and Namine left two weeks ago and—"

"Whoa!" her dad interrupted. "Slow down there, princess. Is everything okay?"

Kairi shook her head, and about shouted when she spoke. "No! Everything's _not_ okay! Sora's gone and he- and he—"

Her dad grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"Sora's a smart kid. I'm sure he can take care of himself…" He frowned, that last word catching in his throat. Kairi was biting back tears.

"Princess?"

"He fell into _darkness,_ dad!" she said, voice choked.

"_Sora?_" he asked, in disbelief. "No way!"

"_Yes_ way! He- he just gave himself up to the darkness! And- and I… I couldn't stop him."

Something tugged in her chest with those final words. She clutched herself and fell forward a little, about bonking her head on the table. It wasn't pain or anything. It was just…

"Kairi…?" her dad asked, slowly.

Tears poured down her cheeks. It was just so _overwhelming, _how inadequate she'd been. How she hadn't been able to stop Sora. Hadn't been able to _save _him and if- if only she'd tried a little harder. Been a little more adamant. Or…

Or _something._

"Here you go sweetheart," the ice cream shop owner said, placing another bowl of ice cream in front of Kairi. She slowly looked up, heaving for air, but took the spoon and shakily scooped up a bite for herself.

Kairi's dad frowned at the ice cream shop owner.

"Thank you, but—" he began.

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's on the house."

Kairi swallowed, wiping her tears away.

"T-thank you," she stammered.

The ice cream shop owner smiled. "No problem," she said, patting Kairi on the back and then heading back to the kitchen. "You're such a bright girl, Kairi. I can't stand to see you cry."

Kairi merely nodded.

_If I'm so bright, though…_ she thought, bitterly, taking another bite of ice cream.

_ Then why couldn't I save him?_

**xxx**

Sora's Shadow slowly picked up a rock out of the water, running his fingers over the smooth surface a few times. He was mulling over what he'd just witnessed—the conversation between Kairi and her dad. He'd been watching in the shadows the whole time, and had gone completely unnoticed. Thankfully.

It'd been a very… interesting conversation. He'd learned a lot from it. But the most _important _thing he'd learned was that, somehow, he had managed to touch Kairi's heart. Tug at her guilt. Her heart should've been too bright for him to touch. It was a heart full of light…

A heart ridden with guilt…

A heart tainted by darkness…

He laughed, and then chucked the rock out to sea. It skipped across the surface once or twice, before disappearing under the water.

"Maybe I haven't been wasting my time with her," he said to himself, smirking slightly. "Obviously, the darkness wasn't there until recently." He chuckled. "Heh, maybe I'm poisoning her."

He picked up another rock, tossing this one between his hands.

"Poisoning her! Hah! Like my darkness, my entire existence, is somehow having a negative effect on her! Wouldn't that be wonderful? I doubt that's even possible!" He chucked the rock, and then quickly sent out a strand of darkness to catch it. The rock froze in mid-air, held there by his darkness. He pulled it back to him, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Then again…" he whispered, catching the rock. "I did manage to touch her heart, _and_ I toyed with her guilt. I wouldn't have been able to do that if she _wasn't_ poisoned."

He grinned.

"I've poisoned her!" He shouted to the sky, sudden excitement flooding through him.

He couldn't help it.

Because of what his existence was, being pure darkness and all, the thought of poisoning a light, a very _bright_ light, was… well, thrilling. And the fact that he had, somehow, done so? He couldn't have been happier.

Except—

Something was tugging at his chest.

His excitement was quickly fading.

His fist tightened around the rock.

Very slowly, he placed his free hand over his chest.

"Is that… a heart?"

He swallowed, and then laughed to himself.

"Can't be! I can't have a heart! It's impossible!"

He dropped the rock and then in a flash of darkness, he was gone.


	88. Dwelling on a Nightmare

Fanfic won't let me upload a document. Again.

oh well, at least it's only an internal error. There is NO way there could be something wrong with all three different files I tried to upload.

there's not much to say about this chapter...

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><p>"Stop messing with it!"<p>

Riku glanced over at Namine. She was glaring at him. He had been messing with the bandages on his hand. Again.

"I'd slap you if I wasn't afraid of hurting you," she told him, frowning.

"Sorry," he muttered, glancing away.

He didn't like it when she frowned.

He started to finger the bandages again, but stopped himself. Instead, he picked at one of the loose strings of the couch. She continued talking, though he listened with only half an ear. She was still working on showing her pictures to him (since they kept getting interrupted) and was currently explaining the lengths she had gone through to finish one of them. Apparently, it had taken a lot of work.

He looked over at it. The picture _did_ look incredibly detailed. However, he was having a hard time caring.

His mind was on… other things.

Specifically, his mind was still on the nightmare he had, though it had been a decent amount of time since he had woken up.

The loose string he was messing with came loose another couple of inches. He made a face, but it wasn't entirely the string that he was upset with.

Well… no… it wasn't the nightmare he was still thinking about.

It was the moment when his nightmare had ended that he was thinking about it. Namine had called out to him; calmed him down...

The loose string came out of the couch. Riku stared at it for a moment, and then wound it around his finger a couple times.

_Namine…_

_ I- I guess it's funny that she calmed me down. Usually I'M the one who's calming HER down…_

_ And- and then-_

_ When I woke up…_

He shifted slightly at the thought.

Upon waking up, he had freaked slightly. It had been a bit of a surprise for him to wake up with his head in Namine's lap. Especially considering he had no recollection of being moved into that position or what had led up to it. It wasn't really like he _minded_ or anything, he just hadn't been expecting-

He quickly unwound the string from his finger. It was starting to cut off his circulation. He grimaced, and then paused, realizing something. Namine had stopped talking. He looked over at her. She was drawing.

"Weren't you talking?" he said, slowly.

She shrugged. "I had a picture I wanted to draw," she said. "Besides, it's not like you were listening…" She frowned.

"I- I'm sorry-"

She shook her head, stopping him. "No, it's fine!" she laughed. "I wasn't frowning at you, I was frowning at the picture. See, look." She turned it to him, so that he could see. He looked at it, frowning slightly, too.

"That's-" he began.

"Axel and 37," she finished. "But it's weird, because the way it's coming out, it's like Axel's got his hand in 37's pocket... Which… can't be-"

The sound of an opening dark corridor interrupted her. Everyone turned to the center of the room, where Axel now stood, one rather large grin on his face.

"Look what I managed to snag from 37," he said, tossing something to Riku.

Riku caught it, a tad clumsily; he wasn't used to catching things with his left hand. He glanced down at it. It was a key.

"Key to the computer room," Axel explained.

Namine raised her eyebrows. "That would explain it…" she muttered.

Riku frowned, wondering what she was talking about. She gestured at her picture. He glanced at it, then looked at the key, then at Axel, then at the picture again. He blinked a time or two.

"How did 37 _not notice?_" he asked, regarding Axel with a curious look.

Axel's grin widened. "You're welcome."

Riku frowned. That hadn't answered his question at all. After a moment he sighed. It really _wasn't_ worth pressing the matter.

"Any _other_ news?" he asked.

Axel's grin slowly fell. He scratched his head a bit nervously.

"Saix is changing his strategy," he said, voice quiet. "All efforts will be redirected to capturing Namine."

"What?" Riku demanded, his voice cracking slightly. "Why!"

"I don't know!" Axel said, turning away slightly as he did so. "But whatever he wants her for, it can't be good!"

Riku scowled, skeptical. "You're lying."

Axel refused to look at him. "On the _bright_ side," he said. "There shouldn't be any more actual _raids_, from the sounds of things."

There were a few cheers around the room, but most everyone was more curious about what Axel had said previously.

About Namine.

"Axel…" Riku said firmly, fists (well, fist, his right hand wasn't entirely functional) clenching slightly. "What does Saix want her for?"

Axel glanced up at him, scratching his head again. "Do you remember why she was originally created?"

Riku raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, 'cause for some stupid reason, the Organization thought that they could use her to contr- oh." The word caught in his throat as he realized what he was saying. He swallowed, and then frowned. "Saix isn't seriously going to try _that_ again, is he? I mean, why would he want-"

"Saix wants you dead," Axel interrupted.

Stunned silence filled the room.

Namine let out a small gasp.

It felt like something had just stabbed her in the chest.

Saix… wouldn't…

Would he?

"Are you saying…" she said, voice shaky. "That he'd Reprogram me to-" she swallowed, unable to finish that thought. She glanced over at Riku, swallowed again, and then laughed nervously. "But he- he couldn't, right?"

"You saw what he did to Tulip," 19 said, voice grim. "He could easily do the same to-"

"It's not going to happen," Riku interrupted, his voice rough but certain. "I won't let it."

No one said anything after that.

Namine gripped the edges of her sketchbook tightly, trying to hide the fact that her hands were trembling.

She was terribly shaken. Just the _thought_ that it was possible for her to be Rewritten—to be completely changed so that she wasn't even her anymore—It was a scary thought. Especially considering what Saix wanted to change her into…

He wanted to Reprogram her so that she would fight.

So that she would kill.

Kill _Riku_.

And, to make it worse, she would likely be Reprogrammed so that she _wanted_ to.

She shuddered at the thought.

Riku grabbed her hand, gently. She glanced up at him, a bit surprised. He smiled at her.

"It's okay," he assured her.

She swallowed.

_Okay…?_ she thought, slowly.

_How is this okay?_

_ I know you said that you'd protect me, that you'd keep this from happening, and I trust you- but-_

_ I'm still scared._

Slowly, he frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worry creeping into his tone.

"I…" she began, but paused. She wasn't sure how to say it- if she even wanted to say it at all… she was starting to think that she didn't want to say it. Well… she _wanted _to tell Riku what was wrong, but-

They were in the main room.

Everyone else was listening.

She gripped the edges of her sketchbook tighter. She was downright shaking now.

_Why am I freaking out so much?_

_ I- I just- I don't want to-_

_ I don't really want to- I-_

Riku gripped her hand firmly, steadying her as best as he could with his bandaged hand. Her heart started pounding, and tears were starting to form in her eyes. She turned away, ashamed. She couldn't stand to look at him, not when he was looking at her like that.

A look filled with overflowing compassion.

A look filled with so much worry that it _hurt_.

And when all that compassion and worry was directed at her, she wanted nothing more than to just tell him everything that was wrong; tell him everything that was on her mind, no matter whether or not he could actually do anything no it. Just… the comfort of him knowing was enough.

"Namine?" he whispered.

She bit her lip, preventing herself from actually saying anything.

_Riku, I want to tell you, I swear! I just-_

_ I want to talk to you alone…_

_ So I should just ask you, right?_

_ But I-_

_ I just don't know!_

_ I…_

She frowned then, an idea occurring to her.

An idea that might just work…

But…

She gasped and clutched her head. Suddenly Riku's arms were around her, protecting her, holding her close.

"Again!" he said, voice choked.

She nodded miserably, ignoring the hurt that surged through her as she did so.

"You just had one!" he groaned, almost desperate.

Before she could say anything in response to that, though, he formed a dark corridor around them both.


	89. Promise

right, I know I've been writing a lot for Riku and Namine at the moment. However, there is this big huge GLOMP of CRAP that needs to happen, and suddenly it's taking me 20 chapters instead of just five like I had intended originally.

No need to worry, though, Sora's got his own huge glomp of crud coming up, so you'll end up seeing his side of the story for a while instead of Riku and Namine's =P

oh, and, there WILL be a blog post relatively soon answering the obvious question that arises. The finer details concerning that are going to have to wait till you ask the questions, because I want to be sure that I cover everything you guys want to know

* * *

><p>They reappeared in her room. Riku held Namine closer to him, and she slowly relaxed into his grasp, calming down significantly. He sighed in relief. Maybe this meltdown would be as bad as-<p>

She pulled away rather suddenly and put a rather large distance between them, sending her sketchbook to the floor as she did so. She threw a glance at him, and then turned away, like she was ashamed. Very slowly, she drew her knees to her chest and buried her face in them. She was shaking.

"I- I'm so s-sorry," she said, voice barely a whisper.

He stared at her a moment, confused. Then he sighed. She _was_ having a meltdown. This particular behavior was common.

He was just… really tired of dealing with it.

He slowly reached down and picked up her sketchbook, setting it aside on the bed. "Namine," he said, calmly, gently. "Don't apologize. I'm sure whatever it is, it's not actually your-"

"It's not that," she interrupted. He turned to her, shocked. "I- I'm not worried about- this wasn't really a…" she trailed off, and then said in a voice quieter than before: "I faked a meltdown."

He stared.

"You…" he began, slowly, but then thought better of saying it. She was already upset about the fact, and he _knew_ what she said, he didn't need to have her clarify for him. Not really. He… sort of understood.

"That wasn't very nice," he found himself saying, instead.

He instantly wished he could take that back, though.

"I- I know it wasn't!" she stammered, her voice shaking with what might have been tears. "I just- I thought that maybe- I- I just- I just wanted to talk to you! Alone! And I- I don't know- I guess I was embarrassed or something, because I thought that this would be- I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I'm alright."

"No," he whispered, though he wasn't quite sure why he was saying it. "You're not alright. Not if- Not if you had to fake a meltdown just to talk to me."

She turned to him then, tears in her eyes.

He swallowed, unsure of what to do next. He wasn't even quite sure why had said what he had just said. It _felt_ natural. But… he had no idea what he was supposed to do now. Well, he had an idea, he just wasn't quite sure if he wanted to-

Very hesitantly, he crossed the distance between them. She glanced up at him, uncertainly, still shaking. He gently reached out and wiped her tears away. He lingered for just a second, stroking her cheek softly before pulling his hand away. She stared at him, eyes filled with an expression that he couldn't quite read. He quickly backed away from her, thinking that maybe he'd done something wrong…

But…

He smiled then, as if he were trying to smooth it over.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Well, I-" she began, but then paused. She was still regarding him with that look. A look of… trust, was it? Very… uncertain trust, like she wasn't quite sure what to do with that trust, or whatever it was that she was feeling.

"I'm scared," she said, voice quiet, like she didn't quite want to admit it. "I'm really, _really_ scared. I don't want to be Rewritten, especially not if I'm Rewritten to-" her voice choked then, and she turned away, unable to say the rest.

He reached out to her, but then pulled his hand back.

"You don't need to be scared," he said, slowly closing his hand into a fist; he wasn't quite sure what to do with it now. "I'll protect you. Saix isn't going to get a hold of you. Promise."

"I know," she whispered, fingers slowly clutching the sheets of her bed. "I know you'll protect me, and I trust you more than anything- I just… I'm still scared."

_I trust you._

Those words echoed in his brain. He smiled slightly.

For some odd reason, it felt like a weight had been lifted from him, with just those words. He wasn't entirely sure _why_, but he was grateful for it.

He turned back to her. She still wasn't looking at him. He started to tell her that it would all be okay, tell her again that she didn't need to be scared-

"You were Rewritten, weren't you?" she asked, though it was hardly a question.

He stopped, slightly shocked. He blinked a time or two.

"Yeah."

"Weren't you scared?"

He swallowed.

"Well… Larxene had me-"

"I know, Larxene was advancing on you, you were backing away, and then there was a wall. I saw that memory."

He frowned.

"Then why are you asking me if I was scared? You should know."

She turned to him them, eyes fierce, though they didn't quite meet his.

"Weren't you scared?" she repeated.

He stared for a moment, and then nodded. "Yes," he said. "I- I was very scared."

"And- you can't tell me that that was _all_ because of Larxene," she continued, slowly. "You- you didn't want to be Rewritten either. The thought of- of being changed completely to someone _else's_ liking, the thought of becoming someone you couldn't even recognize as _you_, that scared you, didn't it?"

He nodded.

"And the thought that _I_ could be changed like that-"

"Scares me even more," he finished.

She looked over at him, shocked. He just smiled.

"That's why it's never going to happen," he continued, laughing slightly as he did so. "I swear, I won't let it. There's no way that…" he trailed off, watching as her face fell and she turned away again.

"How can you be so confident?" She clutched the sheets of her bed even tighter, so that her knuckles turned white. "Something could still happen."

He made a face.

"Why are you so worried about this?"

Very slowly, she reached for her sketchbook. She groped around for it for a second, until he pushed it into her reach. She didn't even notice. She just flipped a couple pages in the book and then pushed it towards him. He glanced down at it.

The picture was very rough, only a basic outline, and unfinished at that. There were two forms standing across from each other. One of them was him, he could just tell. His shirt was terribly torn, but that was the only specific detail he could see. The angle was an odd one. He held his blade in front of him, like he were about to block an attack.

The other figure hadn't been finished. It was only a rough outline of a body and a couple small details. They held a blade of sorts, and something that looked like it might have been armor was on their left arm.

"That's me," she whispered, pointing at the figure. "I- I couldn't finish drawing it- I- It was scary- _I_ was scary…"

She was silent for a moment, and then she turned to him. There was an odd expression on her face. She still looked a bit shaken, because she had been crying recently, but other than that she seemed surprisingly calm.

"Do you want to see?" she asked.

He gasped slightly, taken aback by the question.

"No, that's alright, you don't have to draw it for me-"

"I never said anything about drawing it for you."

He stopped short, regarding her with a rather curious expression.

"What do you plan on doing, then?" he asked.

She took a deep breath, and then crossed the distance between them, a bit uncertain, but determined. Slowly, a bit hesitantly, she took his head in her hands. "Close your eyes," she instructed. He did as he was told.

She touched her forehead to his, and then slowly breathed out. He breathed in, and as he did so (though it was probably just coincidence) a twisted image came to his mind. It was faint at first, but it grew stronger.

It was… her, and yet it wasn't entirely her. She wore clothes that were more suited to fighting; pants and a fitting shirt. She wore a glove on her right hand, and she held a blade that looked much like his own, though it was blue and white instead of purple and red. Her left arm was completely covered in armor. She was smiling, but it was a very cocky and rather cruel smile.

"_What, too scared to fight me?" she taunted._

The image shifted slightly, and he could see himself standing there, too.

_His grip on his blade tightened uncertainly. "I- I don't want to fight you-" he stuttered._

_She laughed and then charged up what looked like a lightning bolt. She threw it at him, though it missed by a good distance. It hit the ground with a very lightning-like impact. His eyes darted over towards the impact point, before returning to stare at her._

_He swallowed._

_Then, very slowly, he let go of his blade. It clattered uselessly to the ground._

"_Fight back!" she screamed, furiously, almost desperately._

"_No," he whispered. _

_She stared at him for a moment, like she was unsure what to do with him, and then she scoffed._

"_Fine, sit there and let me kill you! Like I care!"_

Namine pulled away rather quickly, then, putting a large distance between them again. The image faded as soon as she did so. Riku blinked a few times, trying to figure out what had just happened.

"What- what was that?" he stammered.

"A nightmare," she whispered.

"No. What did- what did you do?"

She shrugged. "I- I don't know…" she replied, hugging her knees to her chest again. "It just felt… felt like it would work."

He swallowed. "Don't worry," he told her, firmly. "I _promise_ that I won't let that happen. Saix is _not_ going to Rewrite you!"

"But what if it _does_!" she asked, voice desperate. "What if he _does_ Rewrite me! What would we do? If I was- I was Rewritten to- to fight you, to- to kill you-" The sentence came out strangled, falling into a sob.

"That nightmare-" he gasped. "You- you didn't actually-"

She didn't respond.

He swallowed.

"I wouldn't fight you," he told her simply. "Nothing could make me fight you."

"So you'd just let me kill you!" she demanded, voice shaking with anger. She turned to him then, furious tears in her eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you…"

"I don't want to hurt you either!"

They sat in silence for a moment. Riku slowly clenched his hands into fists, unsure of what else he _should_ do. Namine turned away, clutching the bed sheets again. Then, very quietly, she said:

"Riku, you have to promise me that you won't just sit there and let me kill you."

"But I'd sooner-" he began, and then stopped. She had turned back to him as she said this, and the look in her eyes was unbearable. She looked so scared, so upset.

He sighed.

"Yeah," he said. "I promise I won't let you kill me."

She let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you," she whispered. "That makes me feel better."

He swallowed. That certainly didn't make _him_ feel any better, but…

She felt better.

And…

That was all that mattered.


	90. Smile!

**UPDATE! WHOO! (11/20/13)**

Anyway if you are a new reader you've heard me talk about a blog in recent(ish?) author notes. Of course these chapters are like years old and I've moved blog hosts since then. So. AH BUT ch90 does mark the point where I started doing chapter commentaries (which include notes and thoughts I have about chapters) on the blog! Of course it's a pain in the butt to dig through my blog for the chapter commentary you're looking for...

But that's why I made a page with a link to every chapter commentary! You can find the link on my profile page, or if you go to my blog there's a page on the top header-bar thing labeled "Chapter Commentary" and that's where the list is. So. Yeah!

Now you can go straight to the chapter commentary for whichever chapter you're curious about! whoohoo!

* * *

><p>"OhmygoshRikuyou'renevergoingtobelievethis!" Joseph shouted, throwing the door open. He paused, looked between Riku and Namine, and frowned. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"<p>

"Well-"

"Good! Because 29 just said it was okay for me to go with you guys when you infiltrate the World that Never Was, and I am ridiculously excited and need to rant a bit!"

Riku frowned.

"We're infiltrating the World that Never Was?" he asked slowly, confused.

"Well _duh!_" Joseph replied, like it were the most obvious thing EVER. "You just got a key from Axel! _Of course_ we're going to go infiltrate the World that Never Was! Did you think we were just going to hold on to that key for no apparent reason!"

Namine laughed.

Riku turned to her, smiling slightly. He was happy to see her in a better mood.

"Oh! That reminds me! Amaryllis wants to talk to you, Riku," Joseph said. "Somethin' 'bout battle strategies. I think. I kinda stopped listening after 29 said that it was okay for me to go with you guys!"

Riku raised his eyebrows. Joseph was _literally_ bouncing up and down with his excitement.

"I hope it's alright for me to grab my WINNER sticks," Joseph continued, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "I'm already down to my last- oh wait!" He felt his pockets frantically. "Where'd it- oh…" He breathed a sigh of relief. "That's right, I used it to get the King ice cream."

"King?" Namine asked, frowning slightly with confusion.

Joseph stopped moving. "What!" he laughed, though the laugh was nervous. "I didn't go to Twilight Town without permission and get nearly killed by Berserkers! What are you talking about!"

"I… didn't say anything about…"

"Besides, even if I _did_," Joseph continued, not paying one bit of attention to her. "I would've told 29 about the Berserkers right away! I'm not _stupid_." He cleared his throat and scratched his ear. "Now, if you'll, uh, excuse me… I need to go talk to 29…"

He quickly walked away.

"That was random…" Riku muttered.

"No, that was Joseph," Namine said.

Riku laughed.

She smiled, but her smile soon fell. "I hope that thing with the Berserkers isn't serious…" she whispered.

He shrugged. "Well, if it is, I'll find out about it."

She laughed and rose to her feet, stretching slightly. "Well, come on then, you've got a meeting to go to."

He made a face and glanced up at her. "Way to make it sound _boring_."

She just shrugged and laughed again.

He sighed and got to his feet, too. "Eh, it was probably going to be boring anyway," he said, and then rolled his eyes. "I still don't see the point in taking five people at a time. I mean, I know we need Alpha for the computer, and Amaryllis and I are there just in case we need to fight anyone, but everyone else who comes is just in the way. And makes us look suspicious."

"Would I be in the way if I came?" Namine asked quietly.

Riku threw a wry look at her. "Yes, because you going to the Organization's headquarters is a _brilliant_ idea," he replied sarcastically. "We'll just _ignore_ the fact that… oh, just about _anyone_ there can show up and take you away before I can do anything about it."

She turned away, laughing nervously as she did so. "Oh… forgot about that."

He gasped. "Wait a minute! I- I didn't mean it like _that. _I was only trying to-"

"Make a point, I know. It's fine."

He swallowed.

"It's not fine," he muttered. "I- I didn't have to be so mean when I was making my point…"

She turned back to him, eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Mean?" she asked, and then laughed. "Riku, I _think_ I can handle a bit of your sarcasm. You use it on everyone else all the time."

"Yeah, but… you're not 'everyone else'…"

The look Riku gave her as he said this nearly broke her heart. His eyes were filled with worry and uncertainty, and he looked like was going to turn away any second: as if he couldn't stand to keep her gaze. His mouth was making something between a grimace and a frown, and overall he looked just plain… scared.

And not just scared.

But scared and endearing: like he wished that she could be the answer to all his problems, like he wished that she could tell him that everything was okay.

The look told her more than anything that he wanted _so badly_ for her to be strong and pull him through this; that he was dependent on everything she said and did, that whatever she said or did next would decide whether or not he could make it through the rest of the day.

Namine swallowed.

It was a bit overwhelming.

She wasn't used to being the strong one.

Then, slowly, she reached out and pushed the corners of his mouth into a smile. Shock flickered through his eyes, but he didn't protest.

"Put on a smile, will ya?" she told him, making sure that she was smiling, herself. "I'm not mad at you."

He slowly smiled, and she pulled her hands away.

"There you go!" she said. "Now get going, you've got a meeting that you're going to be late for!"

He stared at her for a moment, and then nodded.

"Yeah."

He started for the door, but paused. He glanced over his shoulder at her.

"I'll come see you before I go, okay?"

"Okay."

He turned and headed out, fingers tracing the corners of his still smiling mouth, where her hands had been moments before.

XXX

"What's that face for?" Joseph asked, leaning across the table so he could look Riku in the eye.

Riku stared at him for a second.

"What face?" he said slowly. "I'm not making a face."

Joseph grinned.

"You _were_!"

Riku shook his head.

"No I wasn't."

"You were smiling!"

Riku raised his eyebrows.

"Am I not allowed to smile?"

Joseph made a face.

"Well… yeah… but- it was more than just-" he sighed and sat back down in his chair. "You're no fun to tease," he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting.

Riku groaned.

"And _why_ is he allowed to come along?" he asked, interrupting the discussion that Amaryllis and Alpha were having over… something. Riku hadn't actually been paying attention. He was finding it hard to care.

Both Amaryllis and Alpha turned to 29.

"He wouldn't stop asking…" 29 said, seeming to actually twitch slightly as he said so. He pointedly looked away from everyone. "Besides, he's almost out of WINNER sticks…"

"Actually, I'm completely out," Joseph said, flicking a piece of paper across the table. He didn't even look up.

29 frowned, watching as Joseph found another piece of paper and prepared to flick it, too. "How did you manage to use three WINNER sticks in one day?"

Joseph stopped rather suddenly.

"I didn't go to Twilight Town without permission and use the rest of my WINNER sticks to get complete strangers ice cream! What are you talking about?"

Riku snorted.

"I see that you talked to 29 about- ow!"

Joseph had flicked the piece of paper at him, and it had hit him in the eye.

"Joseph! Really!" he said, rubbing his eye.

Joseph laughed, a tad maniacally.

"Joseph," 29 said, warningly.

"What? I wasn't _aiming_ for his eye!"

"Regardless!" Riku said quickly, before 29 had time to start reprimanding Joseph _again_ and send the meeting off track for what had to be the fifth time. "There is one _small_ problem we haven't covered yet." He held up his hand and tugged at one of the loose bandages. "I'm not quite sure if I'll be of much help, actually. Can't really fight, remember?"

Amaryllis frowned at him.

"Why didn't you mention this sooner?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Riku shrugged casually.

"Forgot about it."

Amaryllis groaned and rubbed his head. "First I'm forced to take Joseph with me, and now you're telling me that you _can't go!_ At this point we might as well walk up to the Organization's front door and tell them to kill us!"

"Amaryllis, calm down," Alpha sighed. "It isn't really _that_ bad. Joseph knows how to handle himself in battle-"

"But you and I _both_ know that Riku's our best fighter," Amaryllis argued. "We're dead meat if we run into an Organization member and he's not there!"

"I'm glad you have _so_ much faith in our fighting abilities," Alpha muttered, rolling his eyes.

"I wasn't necessarily saying that I wasn't going," Riku said, and then sighed. "Well, okay, I don't really _want_ to go, however, if we can come up with some sort of a plan that _doesn't_ require fighting as an immediate backup plan-"

"I could cause a distraction!" Joseph interrupted. He reached across the table for the map of the World that Never Was and pulled it towards him. He glanced over it a moment, and then grinned.

Riku grimaced.

That was the grin Joseph grinned when he was plotting something.

"See, look," Joseph said, pointing. "_That's_ the Grey Area, and then _this-_" He pointed at a different section of the map, which was quite a ways away. "Is the Computer Room, where you guys need to be. So if I cause a distraction _here_-" He pointed at the Grey Area again. "Then, theoretically, everyone will head over there to see what's up, and almost _no one_ will be around the Computer Room!"

Alpha raised his eyebrows.

"So you're suggesting that you go do something stupid and we get into the Computer Room while Saix is trying to kill you?"

Joseph made a face, but then nodded.

"Basically, yeah."

"I'm not so sure if that's a good idea…" 29 said, slowly.

Riku groaned.

This meeting was going to take forever.


	91. Tired of Fighting

I don't think I have anything to say about this chapter. Nothing came to mind while I was reading through it again.

Wondering what Joseph's up to? Check out ch43 of Can't Escape.

* * *

><p>"Shouldn't we just go <em>now<em>?" Riku asked, fingering the hilt of his blade. He still wasn't quite used to holding it in his left hand, and figured that he probably wouldn't get used to it any time soon. He sighed. "I mean, it's not like anyone's guarding the Computer Room."

He, Alpha, 29 and Amaryllis all stood around the corner from the Computer Room. 29 had only insisted to come because Joseph had, though Riku didn't quite see the point of him being _here_ when Joseph happened to be who-knows-where. But, whatever, it really didn't matter.

"There's probably an alarm," Alpha replied, not even glancing up from the book he was reading. "We'll wait for Joseph's signal, and then go while everyone's distracted, as planned. Hopefully, no one will notice the alarm go off."

"And Joseph's signal will be?"

"Knowing Joseph, a large crash and some screaming," 29 sighed.

"Right…" Riku muttered, leaning against the wall.

He was bored.

No, bored was an understatement.

He just flat out didn't want to be here.

_I really am sick of all this. I'm sick of this stupid Rebellion, I'm sick of fighting, I'm sick of dealing with 37, I'm sick of having a Larxene Replica yell at me every other day. Sure, they aren't the real one, but they're just plain annoying!_

_Besides, I thought I wouldn't have to deal with Larxene anymore…_

He sighed.

_I almost want to go home._

_I miss the Islands._

_It's peaceful there…_

He grimaced.

_I couldn't though. The Rebellion still needs me. Besides…_

_I'd probably get bored, there, too._

He tightened his grip on his blade, so tight that his hand started to hurt. He relaxed his grip, and then sighed again. He threw a glance at Alpha, who was still reading his book. He raised his eyebrows at that, and then looked over at Amaryllis. Amaryllis looked like he was preparing himself for battle. He turned to 29. 29 was muttering something about regretting this later.

Riku returned to his thoughts.

_I wonder what Namine's up to…_

_I wonder if she's as bored as I am._

He laughed slightly at that.

_Nah, she probably just started drawing. She can't be bored when she's drawing._

_I…_

_I hope she's okay…_

_Saix could've sent someone after her already, and I wouldn't be there to do anything about it. I mean, I'm sure someone over there would look after her, but…_

_It's not me…_

He swallowed, and then shook his head.

_What am I worrying about?_

_Just as long as she's safe-_

_Nothing else matters…_

_And she better be-_

His thoughts of what he was going to do if he got back and Namine wasn't alright were quickly interrupted by the sound of a rather shrill shriek from some Larxene Replica. He quickly straightened and readied his blade.

"That's our cue!" he said.

Alpha sighed and pocketed his book. He grimaced, and then pulled his Lexicon out of another pocket and started flipping through the pages. "You have the key, don't you Riku?" he asked, pausing on a page and running a finger down it as he searched for something. He didn't find it, and turned to the next page.

Riku nodded and pulled the key out of his pocket. His fingers brushed across a piece of paper as he did so, and he paused for a split second. He had almost forgotten that he still had the picture with him. A small smile crossed his face.

He'd have to tell Namine.

He sighed and then went and unlocked the door.

"No alarm," he said as he pushed it open. "We'd have heard it by now, wouldn't we?"

"It might have gone off somewhere else; don't get too cocky," Amaryllis warned.

Riku rolled his eyes.

"Speaking of that alarm, shouldn't we have done something to disable it while we were waiting?" 29 asked.

"Couldn't have done it without seeing the system," Alpha replied with a wave of his hand, not even looking up. "And that would be on the inside of the room, not on the outside. Besides, maybe one isn't there at all. We did use a regular key to get in."

"Maybe there's one on the computer," Riku suggested.

"Fine, someone check!"

"29, you can do that," Amaryllis said. "Riku, keep look out." He turned to Alpha. "And what are _you_ doing?"

"Setting up an illusion so that when the inevitable one or so people that come our way will worry about it and not us."

"Aren't _you_ the one that needs to be trying to hack the computer?"

Alpha threw a glance over his shoulder. "Well, Riku doesn't want to fight, you couldn't handle more than a few people at a time and 29, no offense 29, wouldn't be much of an obstacle. This seemed most effective."

"Shouldn't you have been doing this _sooner?_" 29 called.

Alpha returned his attention to his Lexicon. "My book was getting good," he muttered. "Now stop asking me questions, I need to focus to get this done properly in a decent amount of time."

Riku scratched his cheek.

"Maybe I can do something about the computer…" he muttered. He went over to the computer, stared at it for a second, sighed. "It's going to need a password to even let me on, isn't it?" he asked.

"I said stop asking me questions!" Alpha called.

Riku rolled his eyes.

"Right…"

_Let's see… Saix would've changed the password to the computer itself, so it wouldn't be one of Vexen's typical ones, which is a shame… I know most of those. Or, I know what they are in the other universe. I'm not sure how different Vexen was here with his passwords…_

_But what would Saix change the password to?_

_If he changed it at all…_

_37 could've easily done THAT._

He started to give it his best shot, anyway, when the sound of a couple Nobodies appearing distracted him. He turned, seeing two Berserkers out in the hall. One of them started to attack, but was quickly stopped by Amaryllis. Amaryllis sent a glare at Riku.

"Let me guess, you'd be opposed to taking out a Berserker, wouldn't you?" he asked, tersely.

"You can't handle a Berserker?" Riku replied, just as 29 chucked an icicle at the other one.

"Thought so," Amaryllis sighed. "Alpha?" he called.

"Can't help you, in the middle of something!" Alpha replied. "Keep them off my back, will you?"

"Riku!"

"Okay, okay," he said, shifting into Dark Mode and throwing a Dark Firaga at the closest Berserker. He rushed out of the computer room and started attacking.

The Berserkers didn't take too long to kill once Riku started fighting. Riku made a mental note to point out that Amaryllis had dealt the finishing blow to both of them later. He also figured that he might point out that he himself had only managed to land a few blows before they were dead.

Since, apparently, Amaryllis had a sudden lack of faith in his own abilities to fight.

Riku shook his head and shifted out of Dark Mode.

He glanced over at Alpha, who was still working on his illusion, and rolled his eyes.

"You're going to waste all the time Joseph is buying us by working on that."

"If there weren't so many distractions, I'd be done already," Alpha replied, voice bitter. "Now stop distracting me!"

"Riku, you said you might be able to figure the computer out," Amaryllis sighed.

Riku shrugged.

"I suppose I can-"

He stopped, hearing the door to the Computer Room swing shut. They all (except Alpha) turned, finding 37 with his hand on the doorknob and a glare on his face.

"Which one of you has my key," he asked, voice like steel. "And how did you manage to get it?"

"No one said anything about a key, 37," 29 replied.

37's eyes narrowed. "29, you sure have some guts to be showing your treacherous face around here," he said.

"Treacherous?" 29 raised his eyebrows. "You might want to watch who you direct that word at."

37 laughed slightly. "Are you saying _I'm_ the traitor? I merely stayed where I belong; with the Program."

"By that logic, I am not a traitor, either," 29 replied. "I stayed where I belong; with Joseph and, more importantly, where he is safe. It is not my fault Saix decided he wanted to destroy every experiment and that I had to go against him to keep Joseph out of harm's way."

"Not _every_ experiment," 37 muttered, voice bitter.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

And before the matter could be pressed farther, he summoned a couple more Berserkers.

Riku groaned.

"Really?" he muttered, starting to attack the Berserker that was going after Alpha.

He didn't need to, however, for a bullet shot the Berserker in the back of the head, killing it stone dead.

"Idiot!" Xigbar (or, well, it could be his clone. Riku couldn't quite tell the two of them apart) scolded. "Don't go after the man who's too busy focusing on an illusion to attack anything! Go after someone more important!"

Riku threw a glance over at Xigbar, took a second to see if he could decide whether or not he was a Replica, and found that he couldn't. He then, after deciding that the other two Berserkers were taken care of, went to attack 37 out of sheer annoyance. He didn't get that far, though. Something stung him in the shoulder, painful enough that it caused him to stagger.

"Hey, Hotshot!" Xigbar called. "You going to bother to thank me for that or not?

Riku flexed his shoulder, trying to shrug the pain away.

"Didn't think you'd care," he muttered, going after 37 again. And, again, he was stopped by a bullet. He grimaced and turned to Xigbar.

"_Really_?"

Xigbar just shrugged and reloaded his guns.

Riku brought up his blade to block the next bullet that was shot at him. Before he could do anything else, another batch of bullets was sent his way. He quickly blocked them.

"I just saw the Squirt running through the Castle," Xigbar said in the pause where he had to reload. "Tried to take down the Chandelier in the Grey Area."

"Joseph would…" 29 sighed, clonking the Berserker he was fighting over the head, killing it. He turned to Amaryllis, nodded towards 37. Amaryllis turned away from the Berserker he was fighting and brought his scythe down on 37. 37 blocked. 29 went after the Berserker that Amaryllis had previously been fighting.

Riku dodged out of the way of the next few bullets that were sent at him and attacked 37. However, 37 dodged out of the way of his blade _and_ Amaryllis's scythe.

"L?" 37 hissed into his headset, holding up his shield to block another attack. "I could use a little backup here!"

He immediately winced and turned the volume on his headset down.

Riku took that moment to attack, and managed to start to land a combo. The combo was, however, interrupted. Not by a bullet, but by the sound of lightning and Alpha screaming. Riku stopped what he was doing and turned, just in time to see Alpha been thrown across the hall. He hit a wall and fell to the ground. He didn't move.

"Well _that_ was effective!" L laughed, charging up another lightning bolt.

Amaryllis threw a glance at Alpha, then turned to Riku.

"Next time, we're talking him out of the illusion idea."

Riku nodded and quickly avoided the lightning that L threw at him.

_I SO don't want to be doing this… _he thought with a sigh, but readied his blade and rushed forward anyway.


	92. Finding a Rescue

You know how much I HATE coming up with chapter titles? A lot. I went and changed the one for the previous chapter because, well, I came up with a better title than the really lame one it originally had.

anyway...

*braces self for questions*

* * *

><p>Joseph stretched slightly after the star shard landed. So far, being a distraction was going rather well. He had picked up his WINNER sticks, had at least three Larxene Replicas yell atattempt to kill him, and swung on the chandelier a couple times. Oh! And he had seen Axel!

_Can't believe I forgot THAT_, he thought with a grimace, shaking his head in shame at himself. He glanced around.

_Anyway, I need something can possibly help me bring that chandelier down from the ceiling. I NEED to crash that thing on SOMEONE'S head!_

_Well, no, I just want to crash it…_

_Having it land on a Larxene Replica's head WOULD be a nice bonus, though._

He laughed slightly at that thought and then started walking, even though he wasn't quite sure what he was looking for. A screwdriver, maybe, since obviously he didn't weigh enough to bring the chandelier down on his own. If he undid some of the fixtures that were holding it to the ceiling…

_But… where would I find a screwdriver?_

He sighed and started to shove his hands in his pockets, only to find that he couldn't. His pockets were too full of WINNER sticks. He made a slight face at that, but something caught his attention.

He paused and took a few steps backwards, straining his ears to see if he had indeed heard what he thought he had heard.

He listened for a second and, sure enough, he had really heard what he thought he had heard.

Someone was crying.

He turned to the door that said crying seemed to be coming from, and cocked his head to the side in slight confusion.

It didn't _sound_ like anyone he recognized.

"What in the Worlds?" he muttered.

Then, slowly, he headed over to the door. He reached for the doorknob, paused, and then knocked instead. The crying immediately stopped, as if whoever had been crying had been stunned to silence. Joseph stood there a moment, unsure of what he should do.

"Hey," he called, a bit tentatively. "Are you okay?"

Silence.

He frowned.

Then-

"What do you care?" someone asked.

Joseph backed away from the door in shock.

That voice…

That was a _boy's_ voice.

And, from the sounds of it, it belonged to a boy _younger_ than him.

Without second thought, he tried to open the door. It was locked.

"Hey, are you supposed to be in there?" he asked.

There was another bit of silence.

"This is where they _put_ me," the boy said finally.

Joseph paused this time, taking a second to wonder who "they" were, and why this boy had been locked in a room. Though, the more important question was probably _who_ this boy was.

Joseph decided that the questions could wait.

Because what was _really_ important right now was getting this boy out of here.

The World That Never Was wasn't a kind place to kids anymore.

"Hey, I'm gonna see if I can get you out of here," Joseph said. "Do you know if the room's corridor-proof?"

The boy was silent for a moment.

"I can't form dark corridors…" he replied slowly.

"_I_ can."

"Well, I still don't know."

_THAT'S unhelpful,_ Joseph thought with a sigh.

_Well, only one way to find out, really._

He opened a dark corridor and stuck an arm in, hesitantly. For a second it seemed like he was going to get through, but _then_ he hit the barrier. He muttered something that 29 would've smacked him for, and then closed the dark corridor.

"I… I might be able to melt the locks, though…" the boy said, though he sounded quite a bit uncertain about it. "I mean, I haven't _tried_ before or anything, 'cause I get in trouble if I'm out, so I'm not sure if it'll work…"

Joseph heard movement on the other side of the door, and then the doorknob jiggled slightly, like someone on the other side had grabbed it.

There was another moment of silence.

"You… said you could get me out of here?" the boy asked.

"Yeah," Joseph replied, nodding, though he knew it didn't do him any good.

"Where would you take me?"

"Castle Oblivion," Joseph said, and then, noting the boy's uneasiness, added: "You'd be safer there, and it'd certainly be more fun. I mean, you don't really want to stay here, do you?"

"No…" the boy admitted. "Right, step away from the door," he instructed, sounding quite a bit more certain now. "I'm not sure how bad this might turn out." He laughed then.

"Got it!" Joseph quickly backed away from the door. The hairs on his skin were already beginning to stand up in reaction to a build of energy. He swallowed.

The boy suddenly screamed, and there was a crash from the other side of the door. It sounded like he had stumbled back and ran into something. Joseph quickly rushed to the door.

"Are you alright!" he gasped.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" the boy called quickly. "It just didn't work like I hoped it would."

Joseph frowned.

"That sounded like an _explosion!_ I thought you said you were going to melt the locks!"

"I haven't quite figured out to separate my fire from my lightning, though," the boy muttered. "So it ended up exploding instead."

Joseph made a mental note to ask the boy more about that later, along with warning him about lightning around Riku…

As for now, though-

He let out a long exasperated sigh.

He was officially at a loss of what to do; short of coming back later and trying to hack the system so that he could un-corridor-proof the room. But hacking the system would be dangerous, 29 wouldn't allow it, and he _really_ didn't want to leave the boy here.

"Wait a minute!" he exclaimed, as he remembered something. He reached into his pocket, dug past all the WINNER sticks (dropping a few in the process) until his hand finally closed around what he was looking for.

That ring of random keys Axel had found.

He pulled it out of his pocket (sending a few more WINNER sticks to the floor as he did so) and fumbled to separate one of them, _any _one of them, from the rest.

"What's that?" the boy asked. He must've heard the jingling of the keys.

"A bunch of completely random keys. Maybe one of them will work on this door!"

"You think so?"

Joseph shrugged. "Well, I've got a lot of them here, so it's possible." He stuck the first key in the lock, tried to turn it-

Nothing.

He sighed, pulled the key out and tried another one.

Still nothing.

He paused, quickly collected the WINNER sticks that he'd dropped, and then went back to the door and tried another key.

Nothing again.

He grimaced.

He tried another key.

The lock turned.

"No way!" Joseph laughed, quickly pulling the door open.

"Talk about lucky!" they boy agreed, stepping out of the room and stretching.

He was a bit shorter than Joseph, his hair a mess of flaming red spikes that reminded Joseph of Axel, though the boy's hair was _much_ shorter. His eyes, however, were a blue that Joseph had only seen Marluxia Replicas possess. He wore a plain black T-shirt that looked a little large for him and jeans.

"I'm Joseph, by the way," Joseph said. "Who are you?"

"The name's Toby, sir," the boy replied. "I'm basically an experiment that Master Vexen conducted to see what would happen if-"

"He combined the data of more than one person," Joseph finished, voice quiet, his eyes widening in shock.

That was the explanation that every "experiment" had been taught so that they could explain exactly what they were to anyone who asked so that Vexen or one of his Replicas didn't have to.

Which meant this boy, Toby, was an experiment.

Which meant Toby should be _dead_.

Joseph couldn't help himself:

"Saix didn't _kill_ you!" he blurted.

Toby shook his head.

"Said that I reminded him of someone named 'Lea', whoever that is." He shrugged, and then laughed. "What about you though, Joseph? Shouldn't have Saix killed you, too?"

"29 went to extreme lengths to make sure I wasn't caught in Saix's rampage," Joseph replied. "Then the rest of this time I've mainly just gotten _really_ lucky." He grinned then, laughing slightly. "Saix sure _wants_ to kill me, though." He paused, something occurring to him, and turned to Toby, frowning. "What have you been _doing _for all this time? Did you just sit in that closet?"

Toby shook his head.

"I used to explore, back while I could still form dark corridors."

Joseph cocked his head to the side. "So you used to be able to form them?"

Toby nodded.

"What happened?"

Toby shifted uncomfortably.

"I… sorta accidentally walked in on 37 and L…" he muttered, making a face and then scratching his head in a very Axel-like manner. He shifted again. "Yeah… they weren't too happy about that…" He laughed then, though the laugh was uneasy. "It was fun watching Saix explain to them why I was still around, though."

Joseph chuckled at the thought of Saix being forced to explain himself to anyone, but stopped short when his brain processed the _rest_ of what Toby had said. He made a face. "Wait, you- ew…"

"Yes, it was gross," Toby interrupted, before they could dwell on that thought any longer. "Moving on! Shouldn't we be going? We've been standing here talking for the last like, ten minutes! Someone's bound to notice I'm out eventually!"

"Oh, yeah!" Joseph laughed. "Sorry, yeah. I just have to find-"

He stopped, something occurring to him. He was sure that his weight alone wasn't enough to take down the chandelier, but…

What if he had some extra weight?

He glanced over at Toby, a mischievous grin forming on his face.

"That 'eventually' of yours might come a bit sooner," he said. "C'mon!"

He ran off, Toby following close at his heels.


	93. Running from Fury

I've stopped caring about chapters being over 2000 words. there simply is just no way to cut some of them into smaller portions

now, question time. I've got a special chapter ready to post, but the only free space I really have is going to be chapter 96, which I feel flows TOO well with the story and makes it not seem like a special chapter at all (plus, that will require some editing to the scene, as it was originally written to happen after something that hasn't yet).  
>I can, however, post the chapter at 98, like I had originally planned, though this will be RIGHT SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE of something. Though... magik posted her special chapter right in the middle of a battle... (though, this STILL requires some editing to the scene)<br>or, last option, I postpone it until chapter 100 or so (probably more like chapter 102, honestly) where there is another relative break, and this would be after said event that the special chapter was written around and would not require any editing at all.

just.. curious... let me know what you think

* * *

><p>"<em>That?<em>" Toby asked, eyeing the chandelier uncertainly.

"Yes '_that_'," Joseph replied, a touch of anger in his voice. The anger seemed to only be in good humor, though, so Toby didn't say anything about it. "I've been wanting to pull that thing down for ages! And what better excuse am I going to get than needing to cause a distraction?"

Toby only shrugged, not quite sure if Joseph actually wanted an answer to that or not. He glanced around the Grey Area. No one seemed to have noticed them yet, even though they were only standing slightly out of sight. Well… Luxord might have noticed them, but he didn't look like he cared or planned to do anything about them. He merely continued his game of what appeared to be solitaire. Besides Luxord, there were a few Vexen Replicas in the room, one of which Toby thought he remembered to be 5, but wasn't entirely sure about, three Larxene Replicas, none of which he knew nor particularly cared to know, and one Marluxia Replica. And from the way said Marluxia Replica and one of the Larxene Replicas were talking to each other, Toby had the feeling that he and Joseph wouldn't have to worry about them.

However…

He turned back to Joseph.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Define 'good'," was Joseph's response.

He made a face.

"Are we going to get in trouble for this?"

"Define 'trouble'."

He scowled.

"Are… we gonna get yelled at or anything?" he said, slowly, as if he were trying to be absolutely sure that Joseph would understand him and not give him such cryptic answers.

"I'm sure the Larxene Replicas are going to yell death threats at us," Joseph replied, but he was grinning. "But the worst they can _honestly_ do to us is actually kill us, which none of them want to get close enough to do so long as you don't _really_ tick them off, so we should be fine. The most we'll have to worry about is the lightning."

"I won't," Toby said. "I'm immune to lightning."

"Well aren't you lucky," Joseph told him.

Toby frowned slightly. He couldn't decipher the tone with which Joseph had spoken to him in as bitter or sarcastic or completely honest. Before he had time to really consider it, though, Joseph threw open a dark corridor and literally dove through it. He emerged next to the chandelier, barely managing to come out of his dive in time and grab onto it.

"Hurry up!" he called. "It's hard to hold on when I'm not swinging!"

Toby stared at him.

"He's back!" one of the Larxenes groaned, glaring up at Joseph.

"What did I tell you about being up there!" the Vexen Replica that Toby thought might be 5 yelled at Joseph.

Joseph ignored him, eyes firmly fixed on Toby.

"C'mon!" he urged, his hand slipping. He quickly regained his grip. "You too scared or something?" he called, almost taunting and yet concerned at the same time.

Toby swallowed.

"Scared" might just have been an understatement. He was already completely nervous at the fact he was wandering the halls, when he wasn't supposed to be. That, and Joseph happened to be his only way out of this blasted place.

And now Joseph thought it would be fun to swing from a chandelier until it fell from the ceiling.

_I almost wonder if there's something off in his Data…_ Toby found himself thinking, as he watched Joseph slip again.

"Come on!" Joseph shouted, frantic now. "What better way is there to spend your first day of freedom? Be a little rebellious! Who's going to stop you?"

Freedom.

The word almost sounded odd to Toby's ears.

After spending so long in that room that Joseph had rightfully called a closet, he had almost forgotten that there was such a thing. He had almost forgotten that there was more to life than just that closet, more to life than the fear of being yelled at again, fear of sneaking out for fear of being punished-

Freedom.

He didn't realize just how much he wanted it until just now. And, heck, if a chandelier was the only thing standing in his way-

He grinned slightly, and cast a glance at the dark corridor. Sure that merely stepping through might not be entirely beneficial to him once on the other side, and yet not confident enough to actually dive through as Joseph had, he ran through.

He almost missed the chandelier.

Somehow, though, he did manage to grab onto it. He shifted his weight slightly, unsure of what to do now. Joseph turned around and grinned at him.

"Ready for the fun part?" he asked.

Toby didn't have a chance to respond. Joseph had already begun to swing. Toby held on for dear life, his hands threatening to slip. Thankfully it wasn't _too_ far of a distance down, but far enough to be dizzying. He decided he wasn't going to focus on the height and instead mimicked what Joseph was doing, helping the swinging chandelier along.

Joseph was right about what he said before. It _was_ easier to hold on while you were swinging.

However, after about a minute, it became rather obvious that the swinging wasn't doing them any good. The chandelier didn't look like it was any closer to falling from the ceiling than it did before. Joseph glared up at the fixtures holding it there, and then muttered something about a screwdriver.

Toby slowly followed his gaze. The chandelier was hanging from the ceiling by a chain. A chain that, maybe, he'd be able to do something about. He hoisted himself up and clambered into a better position to reach it, becoming suddenly aware how dangerous this probably was.

But, he was determined now, and he didn't want to ruin Joseph's excitement.

"Climb higher up," he instructed. "Don't want this thing crushing you when it falls."

Joseph cast a curious glance at him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Toby didn't respond. He only stared at Joseph until he had finally climbed up. Then he reached for the chain that was holding the chandelier to the ceiling, closing a hand around it.

_Now, focus!_ he told himself, firmly. _Maybe we can manage to get something to melt this time!_

He focused his energy to his fingertips. The lightning came first, it always did, the fire came to him much slower for some reason. He had a bit of a fight with the lightning to keep it away from the metal, but it behaved once the fire was there and it had something else to latch onto. He tried to pull the lightning back into him, but to no avail. It refused to go anywhere unless he pulled the fire with it, and it was the fire that he wanted.

He frowned.

This wasn't going to work.

The chain was beginning to glow red from the heat, but the lightning was getting out of control. A few loose lightning bolts started working their way through the metal of the chandelier, but he quickly caught them and absorbed them before they could cause any damage.

Deciding rather quickly, he threw a chunk of fire and lightning at the fixture holding the chandelier to the ceiling. He had just enough time to shout "Brace yourself!" to Joseph before it exploded and the chandelier went crashing to the ground.

One of the Larxenes screamed.

Apparently, she hadn't bothered to get out of the way.

Toby winced slightly. She looked like she might not be getting up any time soon.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"That was effective!" Joseph laughed, scrambling away from the chandelier (being careful to avoid the Larxene Replica as he did so). He glanced over at Toby. "You _need_ to tell me how you do that!"

"Well, it's kinda just-"

"Not now!" Joseph said, quickly. He threw a glance around the room, looking slightly miffed, but not worried in the slightest. Toby followed his gaze, and swallowed, instantly wondering how in the Worlds Joseph _wasn't_ worried.

They were currently being confronted with many glares from everyone who was in the room previously (except Luxord, who had disappeared) and quite a few new people, all of which appeared to be Replicas. Some of them complained about the mess and nothing more, but most of them were gaping at Toby and demanding to know why he was there.

Why he wasn't dead.

Why no one had noticed him before.

"What now?" he asked Joseph quietly, not liking this one bit.

Joseph shrugged. "I didn't plan much after the chandelier," he admitted. "I suppose we can stay here for a bit. I'm not sure how long I needed to be a distraction. I never asked. I was too shocked that 29 actually agreed. Which reminds me, I need to…"

Toby stopped listening. A terrible feeling was forming in his gut. He strained to listen for something else, the fear inside him growing as each second passed, as he became more and more certain that he was hearing what he thought he was hearing:

Footsteps.

Footsteps that he had trained himself to listen for and recognize over these months, so that he could brace himself for what would come as soon as the owner of those footsteps reached him-

"Joseph," he said, quietly, quickly. "I really think we should-"

"What happened?" The voice belonged to Saix. The question started off in a rather bored tone, though it ended in a growl as, Toby assumed, Saix caught sight of the scene before him.

Almost everyone winced.

"H-Hello there," Joseph stuttered, his own confidence faltering. "Having a good day, are we, sir?"

Toby noted that he said "sir" like it was a mocking name, and not a sign of respect. He slowly turned to look at Saix. Saix did _not_ look happy. Toby swallowed, feeling suddenly very scared when confronted with the look Saix was giving him right now.

The room was silent for a moment. Not even Joseph dared to speak up.

Then one of the Larxene Replicas sighed.

"Would _someone_ like to explain why there-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence. Saix snapped his fingers, and she collapsed immediately. Everyone else in the room winced, a few even staggering slightly. Toby gasped as his vision blurred for a second, and Joseph shook his head as if trying to clear it.

"What are you _doing_ here!" Saix roared.

"Well, you see," Joseph began. "I wanted to swing on this chandelier, now that I really couldn't get in-"

"I wanted out," Toby interrupted, his voice shaking. He forced himself to look Saix in the eye, though he wanted more than anything right now to be somewhere else. "I-I'm tired of- of just sitting there. It- it's not-"

_Not fair,_ he wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to actually say the words.

He didn't have a chance to say them, anyway. Saix grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him to his feet, despite his struggles.

"What did I _tell_ you?" hissed.

Toby flinched away.

"That- that I wasn't supposed to leave my room-" he stammered, trying to pull Saix's hands away from his throat. "That- that I-" He swallowed, with some difficulty. "That if you caught me out again you'd- you-"

"Let him go!" Joseph shouted.

Toby turned to him, shocked, watching as he pulled a wooden sword out of his belt (Toby was surprised he hadn't seen it sooner) and started hitting Saix with it. It didn't look like it was doing any damage, but it did seem to be distracting him.

"Let him go, do you hear me!" Joseph continued, impacting each of his words by hitting Saix with the sword.

Saix dropped Toby.

Toby hit the ground, hard, and grimaced. It hurt to move.

"This is all _your_ fault!" Saix shouted.

Toby tried pushed himself back up, managing to just barely raise his head from the ground. He couldn't manage much more, but at least this was enough to see what was going on.

Joseph was standing defiantly in front of Saix, sword bared. Saix was glaring at him about ten times deadlier than he had been glaring at Toby previously.

"It's not fair!" Joseph said, voice not faltering once. "It's not fair what you did to Toby! You could've at least found somewhere nicer to put him if you were so insistent on keeping him around!"

"You have no right to speak on this matter," Saix replied, coldly, raising his hand. Toby gasped, noticing that Saix was _not_ preparing to merely snap his fingers and Deactivate Joseph, but rather starting to summon his weapon. Joseph either didn't notice or didn't care, because he refused to move out of the way.

"It's not fair what you did to anybody!" Joseph continued. "It's not fair what you did to Raymond, or Patrick, or, heck, even Jill! You didn't have to destroy them! Any of them! And- and you didn't have to Rewrite Tulip, you didn't even have to Deactivate that Larxene Replica just now!"

"What do you care?"

Joseph made a face.

"I care a lot more than you think I do, obviously," he said, firmly. "I may not be able to change what you've already done, but I can stop you from ruining Toby's life. Toby has the right to live! To truly _freely_ live! And he's not _going_ to live if you force him to sit in that closet!"

Toby's ears perked up at that.

It had been so long since a single nice word had brushed past his ears.

So long, that the moment Joseph first spoke any to him, he had cringed away, scared to face any person that had the capacity to be kind to him. After all that time, he had begun to believe that he really just as worthless as Saix said he was, only alive because of an odd moment of compassion, which had really caused him more harm than it had saved him from-

He swallowed.

Saix prepared to strike.

Joseph hardly flinched away.

"No!" he cried, and before he really knew what he was doing he was throwing himself in front of Joseph, shielding him from the blow. The blow didn't come. Saix had paused.

"I will not hesitate to destroy you, too," he told Toby plainly.

Toby glared right back at him, and laughed.

"Sure you will," he said. "You did last time. And the time before that. And… the time before that."

Saix glared.

Toby smirked.

"Hey, I think now might be a good time to run," Joseph whispered. "I'm not sure how much longer you'll be able to make Saix hesitate. He's really not happy with me."

Toby nodded.

"Brace yourself," Joseph warned, grabbing Toby's hand. He activated his star shard, and they were gone.


	94. Escaping Fury

sorry for the lack of update for like... a week. But I try and wait for a bit until everyone's had a chance to look at the chapter, but I only had two people review the last chapter, so...

that, and I got the second book of the hunger games and read it nonstop (or, almost, inspiration struck about halfway through and I spent about three hours off and on writing. But, that was interrupted by dinner and then a random burst of family game night. yay.)

anyway, since no one answered my question about the special chapter, I'm postponing it til past chapter 100 or so. I don't want have to edit it, and that's my main reason for postponing it (because there's a line in there that would have to be cut out, and it's a really funny line =P)

so... yeah... special chapter will be eventually. I just need to write and upload faster so it's not... too far off. Because otherwise I'm screwed with how this was supposed to work timing wise. so... be expecting quicker updates. I think (doesn't help that I never talk to magik, and she has me at a set uploading rate so that another crossover works out.)

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><p>Between the lightning, the bullets, and the discomfort of fighting left-handed, Riku was having trouble fighting. He was trying to focus on attacking L, just because he wouldn't mind killing her and now seemed just as good a time as any, but Xigbar's bullets made it ridiculously hard.<p>

He deflected a few of the bullets, then quickly took a swipe at L while Xigbar was reloading. She easily dodged, but then staggered slightly. She grimaced and rubbed her head, looking rather much like she didn't want to be showing her discomfort. Riku paused and made a face, realizing that the sounds of battle around him had all stopped. He glanced around.

L wasn't the only one who had staggered. 37 was currently shaking his head as if to clear it. Amaryllis was clutching his head, and his grip on his scythe looked like it was faltering. 29 was rubbing his head, too, and even Xigbar looked rather disgruntled.

Riku frowned.

"You _really_ need to talk to him about this!" L groaned, shooting a glare at 37.

"And tell him _what_, exactly?" 37 replied through clenched teeth. "He's not going to listen to me!"

Amaryllis shook his head, still looking rather disoriented.

"What- what was that?" he asked.

"Saix Deactivated _another_ Replica without focusing properly," L replied bitterly.

37 sighed. "I wonder who it was _this_ time…"

"It better not have been Joseph…" 29 muttered.

"We wouldn't have felt it if it was Joseph," Xigbar (though, Riku was pretty sure that it was his clone now) said. "I'm sure Saix would've been focusing on him if he did Deactivate him."

Riku raised his eyebrows. He had no idea what anyone was talking about. He felt absolutely fine, while everyone else still seemed a little out of it. He wondered if this was another one of those things that didn't affect him because he wasn't a part of this Program.

It probably was.

And he was definitely going to take advantage of it.

He grabbed L by the hood of her cloak and dragged her into a position in which he could easily kill her. It was a tad difficult, due to the lack of proper mobility in his right hand, and he was sure that his grip on her wouldn't last long if she really struggled. But he had his blade at her throat within seconds, and he was fairly confident she wouldn't try anything.

Well, he hoped so, at least.

"How many times are you going to do this!" she gasped.

He merely brought his blade closer to her throat but otherwise ignored her.

"May I emphasize the fact of _how much_ I really don't want to be here, right now?" he said, eyes fixed firmly on 37, who was glaring back at him. "I'm really irritable, actually, which probably isn't good for you."

"What do you want, then?" 37 asked.

"To finish up here so I can go back to Namine."

"Of course," L muttered. "It's always Namine!"

Riku smiled.

"Always," he whispered, then said, much louder: "Just let me into the Computer Room, and I'll let her go."

37 glared for a second, but then made his way over to the door to the Computer Room.

"This is low," L muttered, shooting a glare over at Riku.

"It's effective," he replied, not even bothering to look back at her. "Besides, you would've done the same."

L didn't bother to respond to that.

37 reached for the doorknob to the Computer Room, but was stopped by a bullet. He quickly snatched his hand away, only barely in time. Xigbar's Clone casually reloaded his gun.

"Don't let him in," he ordered, aiming the gun at 37 again.

37 frowned.

"You're aiming the gun at _me_?"

"I'm all for Hotshot killing her," Xigbar's Clone said, simply. "I just don't really want to deal with Saix when he finds out I was here and didn't try to stop this. So… you can go ahead and step away from that door."

37 didn't move.

Xigbar's Clone raised his eyebrows.

Riku scowled. He quickly made eye contact with Amaryllis then nodded over at Xigbar's Clone. Amaryllis nodded and hefted his scythe.

"Riiikuuu!"

Riku turned, slightly annoyed, to find, not surprisingly, Joseph running this direction. Surprisingly, though, there was another boy with Joseph; a redheaded boy who couldn't have been much older than 9 or so. Said boy grimaced slightly upon seeing 37 and L, but didn't say anything.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name's Toby, sir," the boy replied. "And-"

"Tobywedon'thavetimeforthat!" Joseph said, frantically. "We kinda sorta need to get out of here," he explained. "Like, uh, right now! We've got Saix on our tails!"

"Saix!" 29 exclaimed, eyes widening in shock. "Joseph! What did you _do!_"

"Caused a distraction!"

29 groaned and rubbed his head. "I knew this was a bad idea…"

"Well, it wasn't entirely-"

The sound of shattering ice interrupted him. 37 had decided to take advantage of everyone's momentary distraction to shoot an icicle at Riku. Toby had quickly sent a blast of what looked like fire to intercept it, and it had shattered the ice on contact. Toby then sent another blast at 37, knocking him off his feet.

L gasped, and a jolt of electricity went through Riku. He quickly let go of her, clutching his side and shuddering all over until the lightning passed, biting his tongue to prevent himself from screaming. L rushed to 37's side.

"Been wanting to do that for a while…" Toby muttered, smirking slightly.

"37!" L said, shaking him frantically. "Sweetie! Are you okay? You have to be okay!"

Xigbar's Clone snorted.

Riku grimaced.

Toby made a big show of pretending to puke, at which both Joseph and Xigbar's Clone laughed.

"Hey, I like you kid!" he said. "How long have you been around?"

Toby shrugged, but said nothing more. Riku couldn't help but notice the slight glare on his face.

L turned to Toby, suddenly, a furious glare in her eyes.

"_You_!" she cried. "You stupid little _mistake!_"

She shot a rather large lightning bolt in his direction. Riku winced in sympathy for the boy, but then was surprised when Toby merely caught the lightning bolt and absorbed it. Riku's jaw nearly dropped in shock. Toby pointed over at Xigbar's Clone and let loose the excess energy in that direction.

"What was that about needing to leave?" Toby asked, glancing at Joseph.

Joseph turned to Riku.

Riku made a face and turned to Amaryllis.

"If Saix is on his way, then we should've left a good while ago," Amaryllis said.

"Right," 29 said and formed a dark corridor. He grabbed Joseph by the ear and dragged him through. "_You_ owe me an explanation, young man!"

"Why!" Joseph whined, squirming. "I didn't _do_ anything! And it wasn't nearly as bad as the Berserkers!"

"_What_ Berserkers!"

"Aw crap! I- I meant to tell you- I swear! I just-" The rest of Joseph's frantic excuse was cut off as he passed through the corridor.

Toby laughed slightly and then started through the corridor, too.

"Hey!" Xigbar's Clone shouted, stopping him. Toby paused and turned. Xigbar's Clone was staggering back to his feet.

"What was that!"

Toby shrugged again. "Saix is pretty angry about me leaving; I guess I thought I'd be doing you a favor by making it look a little less like you had let me leave. Sorry." And, that said, he stepped through the corridor.

Riku raised his eyebrows. Toby hadn't sounded the slightest bit serious while he said all that. He wondered what the kid had against Xigbar's Clone, and then figured it was probably just the connection to Saix.

Because, from the sounds of it, Toby didn't really like Saix.

Riku turned to Amaryllis, who was currently picking up the still-unconscious Alpha.

"Need any help?"

Amaryllis shook his head and slung Alpha over his shoulder. "He's not as heavy as you think," he said.

"Oh, so you're just letting them leave!" L asked, throwing a glare at Xigbar's Clone.

Xigbar's Clone raised his eyebrows, then lazily shot a bullet at Riku. It went right past his ear, but missed, only narrowly. Riku grimaced. He had a feeling that Xigbar's Clone had missed on purpose, but the message was clear: he _could_ stop them, he just didn't really feel like it right now.

L made a face and pushed herself to her feet, muttering something about not wanting to get in trouble. Xigbar's Clone shot a bullet in her direction, hitting the ground right next to her. She flinched away.

"They didn't do any _real_ harm!" Xigbar's Clone said. "Besides, isn't 37 severely injured?"

L slowly sat back down.

Amaryllis quickly went through the corridor.

Riku cast a glance back at Xigbar's Clone, and then followed.


	95. A Weapon

well... uhh... I can't think of anything IMPORTANT to say. I have a few comments that will go in a blog. But they're not ENOUGH comments to, you know, actually do a blog on it's own, so I'm going to wait for reviews

btw, magik wrote Vexen's research, as always.

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><p>"I just kept getting sidetracked, that's all!" Joseph said, frantically, still trying to squirm away from 29. "I mean, nothing <em>bad<em> happened! I might have gotten a _bruise_, but nothing worse! Two very nice people showed up and helped me out! And then I bought them ice cream! It was a fair deal! Besides, I wouldn't have even gotten into that mess if you would just let me learn how to fight!"

"It's too dangerous," 29 told him, firmly, letting go of his ear. He winced and rubbed it.

"Well, I have a nasty habit of attracting trouble," he pointed out rather plainly. "And if I don't know how to fight, then I can't protect myself, and then I'm going to eventually get hurt! And it's not like I have to learn a _lot_ of fighting stuff! Just enough so I can defend myself when I've got five Berserkers after me!"

29 frowned, thinking about it. Joseph stared at him expectantly, excitement growing within him. 29 was making the face he did when he was about to agree to something.

"Maybe Riku could teach you something…" he muttered.

Joseph snorted. "Like Riku's going to _want_ to teach me how to fight!"

"I'm not sure if he'd be able to, anyway," Vexen said, glancing over at them from a nearby couch. "I programmed him to know how to fight using the original Riku's battle data. I'm not sure if he'd understand how to teach someone else since he wasn't actually taught how to fight, himself."

"Besides," Joseph added. "Even if he could and was willing to teach _me_, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be able to help Toby. And if I'm gonna learn how to fight, then Toby should learn how to fight, too. Or, at least how to better control whatever the heck it is he does…" Joseph paused, and then frantically turned around. "Where is he, anyway! Wasn't he right behind-" He stopped when he saw Toby talking to, of all people, Namine, and then let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, good, he's not being completely anti-social, and he can't _really _get into trouble talking to Namine."

Vexen sat up straighter and then adjusted his glasses, almost as if he were trying to get a better look at Toby.

"Is that another experiment?" he asked.

Joseph nodded.

"I thought you were the only one!"

Joseph threw his hands into the air. "I thought so too! Then I found _him_!"

"And where exactly did you _find_ him?" 29 asked.

"In a closet." He sighed and shook his head. "Boy I'm lucky my star shard dropped me off where it did. Otherwise I would never have found him! That would've been-"

"Alpha!" 2 gasped, as Amaryllis came through the corridor with Alpha slung over his shoulder.

The room slowly went silent.

"He's not…" 2 began, slowly, staring. "He wasn't-"

Amaryllis quickly shook his head. "He's just unconscious. Got interrupted in the middle of a rather large illusion."

2 winced sympathetically.

"Don't even know why he was bothering with it in the first place…" Amaryllis muttered, and then laid Alpha down on an empty couch.

Joseph quickly ducked past him and hurried over to where Namine and Toby were, knowing that Riku would step through the dark corridor any second now, and, well…

"Whatcha talking about?" he asked, leaning casually against the couch.

"You," Toby replied.

Namine laughed.

Joseph raised his eyebrows.

"Seriously?"

"Well, not _specifically_ you," Toby admitted, saying "specifically" a bit weird, like he wasn't quite used to saying the word. "But we were talking about-"

"What are you guys talking about?" Riku asked, walking over.

Toby swallowed his sentence and hesitantly took a step away from Riku. Joseph raised his eyebrows upon noticing this, then rolled his eyes. Toby smiled apologetically.

Namine beamed up at Riku. "I was just asking Toby-" she paused, then glanced over at Toby. "It is Toby, right?"

He nodded.

She smiled and turned back to Riku, the grin on her face widening. "I was just asking Toby if he knew how things went. That's about as far as we got, though, because he wasn't there for most of it."

Riku shook his head. "Not anywhere around me, anyway," he said. "He did save me from an icicle, though."

"Really?" Namine asked, and then turned to Toby again. "How brave of you!" She ruffled his hair. He grimaced and shoved her hand away.

Joseph snorted and turned to Riku, who was regarding Toby with something that was almost a glare. He chuckled to himself, and then elbowed Riku in the ribs.

"Hey, jealous-boy!" he laughed. "She's a girl! Give her about ten minutes and she'll be over it!"

"Hmm?" Riku asked, turning to Joseph, looking rather confused.

Joseph didn't have the chance to explain.

"Toby!" someone exclaimed.

Everyone turned to find, of all Vexen Replicas, 23. He was regarding Toby with a rather curious expression; something between shock and disgust. Joseph frowned, not really liking the look. It reminded him too much of Saix.

Toby frowned, too.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"What-"

"Actually," 29 interrupted, rather loudly. "I think we'd all like an explanation about why Toby's here. No offense, 23, I'm sure whatever you had to say was important, but I also think it can wait a bit until we get an explanation. Joseph?"

Joseph made a face at 29.

"What do you want me to explain?" he asked, laughing slightly.

"Where you found me, probably," Toby muttered. Joseph cast a glance at him, a tad surprised. He was now standing next to him, a bit nervously. Obviously, Toby didn't seem to be fond of being in the spotlight.

"Shouldn't you explain the deal with-"

Toby quickly shook his head.

Joseph sighed.

"Well, I was trying to take down the chandelier in the Grey Area, but it was held up by some really elaborate fixtures, so I figured I'd see if I could find a screwdriver or something so I could undo the fixtures, and while I was looking for a screwdriver I found Toby. He was in some closet because Saix didn't kill him and had shoved him there to keep him out of the way, yeah?"

Toby nodded.

"Then we went and crashed the chandelier, Saix yelled at us, and we ran to find you," Joseph said, and then shook his head, confused. "How does this explain anything?"

"Every bit of information helps," 29 assured him.

"What was that fire blast thing that you shot at 37?" Riku asked, turning to Toby. He had sat down next to Namine sometime while Joseph was explaining. "And, more importantly, why didn't you shoot L?"

"It's got lightning in it," Toby explained quietly. "It wouldn't have hurt her. Y'see, I can't do fire alone for some reason. I can do lightning alone, and fire and lightning together, but not fire alone. It's annoying. 'Specially 'cause lightning's really feisty and unpredictable."

"So the boy was found in a closet and can control fire and lightning…" Amaryllis said, slowly. "What does that tell us?"

"He's a Weapon," 23 muttered.

Everyone turned to him again, confused.

"That's what I was going to say before 29 so _rudely_ interrupted me…" 23 continued, and shook his head. "I don't know why he's still around, though. He's dangerous. Saix should've killed him the moment he first saw him, unless he _really_ doesn't understand just how unstable Weapons-"

"I'm not a Weapon!" Toby snapped, his voice shaking with anger. "I'm a boy! And I don't get how I'm unstable, either! I just can't really control my lightning all the time, that's all!"

"What's a Weapon?" Joseph asked. He had never heard of such a thing before, and he'd even been through most of Master Vexen's computer files. Plus, he was having trouble understanding how in the Worlds Toby would be one of them.

"A special brand of experiments that Master Vexen tried to create," 23 explained, still glaring at Toby. "They would be able to control the abilities of more than one Organization member, making them much more powerful than your typical Replica. Don't know why he wanted to make them all kids, though…" He shook his head in disgust.

"23…" 19 said, warningly.

"Toby is one of the two that succeeded," 23 continued, ignoring 19. "Jill was the other one."

"I remember Jill!" Joseph exclaimed, and then grimaced. "She wasn't very nice, though. Saix killed her first, I think. She was throwing a fit the entire time." He shuddered at the memory.

19 turned to 23, confused.

"How do you know all of this?"

"Because I almost got stuck with Jill!" 23 replied, bitterly. "I managed to shove the responsibility onto 38, though."

"What was so bad about her?" Namine asked.

"Think about what you just asked for a second," 23 said. "_Her_. She had to have had enough data from a female to even _be_ a girl, and who was the only female member of the Organization?"

"Lar- oh…"

"Yup. She was a nasty little brat. It's no wonder Saix killed her, even if she wasn't a Weapon."

"What's so bad about being a Weapon!" Toby demanded. Joseph turned to him, surprised by the anger in his voice. He hadn't seen Toby angry yet, and he was starting to think that that was a good thing. Toby was downright shaking with his anger, his hands clenched tightly into fists, his eyes forming a terrible glare. Electricity was sparking at his fingertips, like he was about to lash out.

"_That!_" 23 said, firmly. "Look at you! You can't even keep your lightning under control!"

"It's because he's angry!" Joseph found himself shouting. He was slightly surprised at his outburst, but not much. 23 was starting to become annoying.

"And why do want to keep a kid who can't control himself when he's upset! I'd rather not have to-"

"Shut up!" Riku shouted, rising to his feet and positioning himself between 23 and Toby, drawing his blade as he did so. Joseph noticed he kept a good distance away from Toby, though, probably due to the lightning. "You're antagonizing him! Of course he's upset!"

23 took a step back.

"Do you think _I'm_ completely crazy about having a little boy who can't control his lightning staying around here!" Riku continued, voice angry. "I'm not! But it's probably much better than him staying with the Organization, and it's not like-"

19 stepped between Riku and 23.

"Banish your blade."

His eyes were forming a glare, but there was patience in his voice.

Riku blinked a few times, looking rather shocked.

"19," 23 sighed. "I don't need-"

"23, I think you've said enough. Riku, I understand that you're trying to make a point, but you do not need to be so threatening while doing so. Banish your blade."

Riku stared a moment more, and then banished his blade.

"Sorry…" he muttered. "Habit."

19 nodded, and then took a few steps away from 23.

"You were saying?"

Riku cleared his throat.

"I was saying that- that it's not like it's really Toby's fault," he said, slowly, sounding like he was having trouble getting back into the rant he had started. "He didn't _choose_ to be a Weapon. Getting mad at him just because he is one is kind of pointless! So far, in the ten minutes I've known him, he's proven to be a nice kid. Give him a chance."

23 stared for a moment, muttered something unintelligible, and then turned and walked off.

"Thank you," Toby whispered.

Riku turned to him, confused. He blinked a few times, and then nodded.

"Yeah, sure," he said, and then sat back down next to Namine.

"Don't worry about Riku," Joseph laughed, noticing the strange look on Toby's face. "He's like this sometimes." He grinned then, wickedly. "You should see him when he's around Namine," he added, quietly.

Toby smiled.

"Do I want to?"

Joseph burst out laughing.

"Hey, 29?" he said, turning. "Can I take Toby to get some ice cream? I think he needs some."

29 frowned.

"What about the Berserkers…?"

"I think I should be able to handle them, sir," Toby said, smiling slightly. "Or, at least long enough so that we could get away."

"Please?" Joseph added.

29 sighed.

"Go on."

Joseph grinned, opened a dark corridor, and then dragged Toby through.

XXX

Vexen Report

I really need to be able to see the reports of the Original Master Vexen here. I might be able to decipher some of the stuff that even his Replicas don't know. Because I know I didn't tell mine everything. Nothing against them or anything, but there are certain things that only some know, and certain things that none know. This new boy, Toby, I want to be able to study him-just a bit. Maybe I can see if there's anything I can do about the fact that he can't completely separate his lightning and his fire.

I probably should talk to 23 to see what he knows. He was the only one in the room who knew the boy was a weapon at all. Unless anyone else in Castle Oblivion knows. But asking around leaves too many variables for the method to be even the slightest bit effective. Of course, it won't help me either if 23 refuses to say anything. Lately, he's been keeping to himself for whatever reason. He probably won't talk to me at all.

Then, of course, there's the pesky little problem that even if 23 knows every single little detail about Toby-I can't do anything without access to the Program. None of us can. If Alpha would let me start hacking...

I think we've moved beyond him thinking I'll break his computer. I think it's a matter of pride now. Or principle. Which is understandable, but annoying.

On a different note, someone needs to be able to teach Joseph how to fight. I was right when I said Riku wouldn't be able to teach him. Riku was Programmed with the ability to fight, not the ability to teach others to fight. He's my own little weapon, if you will. IF he was able to teach anyone how to fight, it would probably be Namine. One, because of the way he feels about her, and two because they have similar enough data.

Which reminds me, I need to continue my observations of the two of them. If I could just manage to get Riku back to the other universe and observe his reactions with the other Namine. (For I know 42 has got them separated by now... what with the difference in time flow and everything.) So, provided Xehanort didn't kill them (doubtful)... I just need to get Riku there, or her here. Difficulties, difficulties...

On the subject of Riku still, I must feel a little bit proud that he defended Toby like he did. It was quite honorable.

Back on the subject of Toby, at least Toby will keep Joseph safe from Berserkers and other trouble. But that's not to say the two boys won't get into egregious amounts of trouble on their own. I'd suggest Toby teach Joseph how to fight, given the closeness in age-but it would appear that Toby can barely control his own powers. Plus, it would also seem that he doesn't have a weapon outside of fire and lightning. Joseph wields neither, so the point is moot.

Hmm, it would appear that Alpha's waking up. I should ask him about the computer again.


	96. Plotting Darkness

ohmigoshwe'refinallyhereandyetit'skindaweird,too...

though, what's funny, is I thought I would be nearing THAT right now. Lol. Yeah, THAT's not even relatively SOON in my head. heheh *nervous laughter*

anyway, be expecting big bursts of chapter for a bit. I have a certain thing I want to be posting soon, and I'm about 5 chapters away from it (joy) so...

that's about it

* * *

><p>"Why don't you just give up on him…" he whispered, confused, as he scanned yet another letter from Kairi. It was the same as always. Nothing new. "It's been <em>months<em>, and yet you still believe that he'll come back?"

He folded the letter up and shoved it into his pocket, where all of the other letters happened to be. He grimaced slightly. He _really_ should find something to do with all these letters; holding onto them was beginning to seem impractical.

"There is something about Kairi's faith…" he muttered, ignoring his letter problem for the moment. "Something that's connected to Sora…"

He hopped to his feet and started pacing.

"Kairi means the world to me, so she obviously means the world to him… she… she is his _light_!" He smiled, glad that he had solved his riddle, but his smile fell as soon as he realized what the answer was. "So… theoretically… she's the only thing keeping me from pulling him in to darkness, which means…" He stopped his pacing, eyes going wide in shock.

"Which means I should _hate_ her," he breathed.

He stood there for a moment as the fact hit him, _hard_.

He was _pure_ darkness.

She was _pure_ light.

There should have been nothing but enmity between them. He should have killed her, or at least _tried_ to, the moment that he had met her. But he didn't. What did he do? He started flirting with her.

"And now I've fallen for her…" he said slowly. "And now I-"

He couldn't finish the thought aloud.

As if not saying it aloud would prevent it from being true.

_I could never hurt her…_ he finished in his head.

His existence was screaming at him, yelling at him, _scolding_ him, _scoffing_ at him. It was calling him stupid, an _idiot_, for _ever_ thinking about _anyone_ in that way. _Especially_ someone so bright!

But his heart-

That heart that he shouldn't technically have-

Just smiled.

Because _it_ wasn't about to give up this love that it held for her.

"I just… need to pull her away from Sora," he told himself slowly, trying to calm himself down. "I won't have to hurt her. Just pull her away from him. Just because she's his light doesn't really _mean_ anything. It's not like she fights for him, like that damn Tifa fights for Cloud. All Kairi has is hope. Very faint hope."

And now he grinned.

"All I have to do is smother that hope! Tell her that Sora's gone!" He laughed. "Tell her 'Oh, sorry sweetheart, but it's too late. Sora's gone. Consumed by the Darkness.' Heh. She trusts me. She'll believe me. This won't be hard at all!"

He was strutting across the shore now, all-too-happy with himself.

"And then I just have to tell Sora that she's given up on him," he continued, enjoying this plan that was forming in his head maybe a bit too much. "He already _thinks_ she hates him, I merely have to take that a step farther and make him _truly_ believe it. And since Kairi really isn't worrying about him anymore, he'll crack like an eggshell! Then, oh boy." A dark smile spread across his face. "Then I'll have _no_ trouble getting rid of him. All I need is-"

He paused as something bumped against his foot, carried here by the restless waves.

It was a bottle.

And in that bottle was a letter.

"Proof…" he finished slowly, and then laughed. "Or, something that will pass as proof."

His already dark smile quickly became a very wicked grin.

This would be _way_ too easy.

XXX

Sora shielded his eyes upon arriving in the World, out of sheer habit. After a second, though, he realized that he didn't need to. Unlike the previous few Worlds he had been to, this World was rather… dark.

Well, "dark" wasn't necessarily the right term, but the sun wasn't beating mercilessly down on him, which was a relief.

He glanced around, trying to get a feel for his surroundings. He was standing on a bridge that led to a large castle. Besides that, though, he couldn't really tell much. It was too dark to see any specific details about the castle properly.

A pack of Heartless, all of the Bad Dog variety, appeared around him. He raised his eyebrows, slightly surprised, but summoned his Keyblade. It took a few combos to get rid of each one, and the ones he wasn't attacking nipped at his heels, making it hard to fight. He angrily shot Fira at one of them, killing it.

He continued across the bridge, fighting more Mad Dogs as he went. Neoshadows began to pop up the farther he got across the bridge, and when he stepped into the courtyard, he was attacked by an entire horde of them. He quickly brought up his blade to block an attack, and then quickly counterattacked. It didn't take him too long to get rid of the Neoshadows, but he did take a lot of damage. He downed a potion to solve the problem.

Someone shouted. Sora turned in slight shock. It didn't sound like the person was in any immediate danger, but that definitely was a shout of alarm. He quickly ran to see what was going on, ignoring all the Heartless as he went. He shoved the front doors of the castle open, and was confronted with an… odd sight.

A brown haired young woman wearing a rather plain blue dress was fighting a small horde of Heartless with, of all things, a mop. And, surprisingly, she wasn't doing half bad. Though, she was only dealing with a couple of Shadows…

Then a nasty looking Snapper Dog came up behind her.

Hardly even thinking about it, Sora rushed forward and brought his blade down on the creature's head. Before it could recover, he attacked it ferociously. It snapped at him, but he quickly rolled out of the way and finished it off from behind.

While he was at it, he took care of the Shadows, too.

"Thank you."

Sora turned to the young woman and nodded.

"Yeah, it was nothing," he assured her.

"I'm Belle," she said, smiling pleasantly. "What's your name?"

"Sora."

Belle frowned slightly; thinking. "I feel like I've heard that name before."

Sora grimaced. "If you have, it probably wasn't anything pleasant about me," he said, sadly, then took a deep breath. "I was having a rough time a while back, I- I'm sorry if you got caught up in it…"

"Oh, it's alright," Belle told him. "I don't think I was, anyway. I just-"

Sora was suddenly thrown back, and only barely managed to bring up his blade to defend himself from thrashing claws and furiously gnashing teeth.

"Beast!" Belle cried in something that wasn't entirely horror but was definitely shock. "What are you doing!"

"This boy is the source of the Heartless!" the Beast roared, attacking Sora again.

"What-?" Sora gasped, pushing the Beast away from him. "No I'm not!"

"Beast, this boy _saved_ me from the Heartless!"

"Probably just another one of his ploys," another voice said. The voice sounded both bored and sinister at the same time. "He must need you for something else."

"No, I-" Sora began, but stopped short as he caught sight of who was speaking. It was a man in a familiar-looking black cloak. Sora swallowed. There was a sinking feeling in his stomach; like something was about to go terribly wrong.

"Who are you?" Belle demanded.

The man in the black coat ignored her.

"The boy's been bringing Heartless to many different Worlds, seeking to plunge each into darkness," he continued. "Now he's here to take yours-"

"No I'm not!" Sora shouted defiantly. "I've only been here like five minutes, and I've been doing nothing but _killing_ Heartless since-"

The Beast attacked again. Sora grunted when he blocked the blow, forced to take a step back to steady himself. The Beast had put a lot more force into this attack. He grimaced. He wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to keep this up, and he didn't want to actually _fight_ the Beast.

He gasped in shock, noticing something.

Though the Beast was attacking with much fury, there was a dazed look in his eyes, like he didn't quite understand what was going on. Anger flooded through Sora.

"You're using him!" he shouted to the man in the cloak, and then turned back to the Beast. "Don't listen to him! He's manipulating you! He—ah!"

In his slip of concentration, Sora had been thrown back. He quickly clambered back to his feet, shaking slightly.

"Angry, aren't you?" the man in the cloak taunted, and it sounded as if he were smiling as he said it. Very subtly, he motioned with his hand, and a couple of Mega-Shadows appeared. "See? The Heartless are responding to his anger, coming to their master—"

"I am _not_ summoning them!" Sora protested, gripping his blade tightly. "He's _framing_ me! I don't work with-" He let out a sudden cry of pain as something tugged at his heart and his darkness sprung to life within him, and he fell back as if struck, clutching his chest. "What- what are you-" he gasped, certain that the man in the cloak had something to do with this.

A couple more Mega-Shadows appeared.

Sora grimaced, not entirely sure if that had been his fault or not.

He certainly _hoped_ he wasn't attracting Heartless.

"What are you doing to him!" Belle demanded.

"Me?" The man in the cloak chuckled. "I am doing nothing. What is happening is strictly the course of the boy's own actions."

"I don't believe you…"

_My actions?_ Sora thought slowly. _What does he mean by that?_

A wave of darkness surged through him. He gasped and writhed slightly.

_Does he mean the darkness?_

_ Like it's… catching up to me or something?_

The darkness roared up inside of him, and he nearly screamed from the pain. But then, suddenly, it backed away, almost as if it was scared.

"Leave him alone!" Belle said, firmly.

Sora glanced up, shocked, and found Belle standing between him and the man in the cloak, holding the mop in an almost threatening manner.

_Did she just… save me?_

A different sort of pain went through him, and he clutched his head.

_Bright._

She was _very bright._

It hurt, she was so bright. He wasn't quite sure what it was, whether or it was the darkness inside of him or just himself, but when such a bright light was shining on him, he couldn't stand it. He gripped his head even tighter, curling up into a ball, trying to shrink away from the light.

"I don't quite understand what's going on," Belle continued. "But I know you're causing it, and you need to cut it out, you hear me? You don't belong here, and I don't like how you're messing with everything!"

The Mega-Shadows started making their way towards her, but with a roar of fury the Beast destroyed a good portion of them. Belle got out of the way, even though it didn't look like he would've hit her even if she hadn't moved.

"How dare you!" the Beast growled, glaring at the man in the cloak. "You come to my castle, you turn my anger against me, and then you threaten Belle!"

"You're quick to come to your senses…" the man in the cloak muttered, annoyed, and then summoned a lance to him and drove it through the Beast. Belle gasped in shock, and the Beast let a cry of pain and fury and turned to attack the man in the cloak. He had another lance driven through him as a result, and he fell. Belle quickly rushed to his side.

Sora slowly let go of his head. The pain was starting to recede, ever so slowly. However, he soon noticed that there were a lot more Mega-Shadows, and they were all surrounding him. He swallowed. He didn't have enough energy to fight them off.

"Well… now that they're taken care of…" the man in the cloak sighed, walking over to Sora. "I can deal with you."

Sora stared up at him, sudden dread flooding through him. "What do you- what are you even doing here?" he stuttered. He was still a bit disoriented from the light, and the fact that the darkness was working its way back into him wasn't helping at all.

"I came to this World for other reasons," the man in the cloak replied, throwing a glance over at Belle and the Beast. "However… _you_ showed up. My other plans can wait."

"What- what do you want with me?"

"We've been without a Keyblade long enough." The man in the cloak raised his hand, and Sora cried out in pain as the darkness shot through him again. As if on cue, the Mega-Shadows around him attacked, smothering him. He tried to fight them off, but he didn't have the strength to summon his Keyblade, and they just kept coming.

Plus… the darkness was raging through his heart… threatening to consume it-

He was pinned to the ground now. There were too many of them holding him there, draining him, consuming his already weak and darkness-wrecked heart.

_I'm going to… die, aren't I…?_ he thought, slowly.

_No… not death. Worse than death. I- I'm going to-_

He couldn't keep his thoughts straight.

_Kairi. _

_ I won't see her again…_

_ Would she be sad?_

_ She'd… miss me if I were gone, wouldn't she?_

There was an unbelievable amount of pain going through him. The pain lessened slightly at the thought of her, but the thought of her was surprisingly empty. It hardly helped him at all.

_I- I don't want to go!_

_ Not like- not like-_

An odd sound interrupted his thoughts. It was a familiar sound, but he couldn't quite place where he had heard it before. The weight on him lessened, and then the pain did, too. The sound continued, rhythmically, almost like-

His eyes widened in shock.

He knew that sound.

That was the sound a Keyblade made when killing Heartless.

He scrambled into a position in which he could see, shook what remaining Heartless were clinging to him off, and then his jaw dropped in shock. Someone that looked incredibly like a mouse was fighting the Heartless off with a Keyblade.

Sora couldn't help it.

He stared.

Once the Mouse had dealt with most of the Heartless (more kept coming) he turned to Sora and raised his Keyblade. "Heal!" he commanded. Sora shifted slightly as the energy coursed through him, healing whatever wounds he had sustained, returning his strength, and somehow putting his darkness back in check. Relatively.

His darkness certainly was behaving now, though.

"Thank you," he said, pushing himself to his feet. "Who-"

"No time to explain," the Mouse interrupted. "We've got trouble."


	97. Creeping Darkness

well hello to this chapter here!

Yup, I just left you at a cliff hanger and swapped POVs. Aren't I evil?

haha, jk. I'm going to go post a blog concerning this chapter in a moment, because I have a few very distinctive comments about it.

* * *

><p>Sora's Shadow was perched, yes, <em>perched<em>, in Kairi's desk chair, which he had rolled up closer to her bed. He wasn't sure if his weight (if he was on the same plane of existence to produce weight) would bother her if he actually sat on the bed, so he was doing this instead, _just to be safe._ He sat there for a while, watching her as she slept. It wasn't long before found that he would be perfectly content with just sitting here and watching her sleep for the rest of the night, if he could.

However, he wasn't seeing her for pleasure this time.

This time, he was actually on business.

What a surprise.

Why was he doing this in the dead of night, though, while she was half asleep?

Maybe it was because he couldn't stand to do this in the light of day…

_No,_ he told himself. _It's because if she's half asleep, she won't be able to decipher the lies I'm about to tell her, which will make this a hell of a lot easier._

He stared at her peacefully sleeping form for a second, and then grimaced.

"Only one problem…" he muttered. "She needs to be half awake for this…"

He sighed, and then leaned over her and whispered in her ear: "Hey, Kairi, hate to wake you, but I need to tell you something."

She moaned and shifted slightly. He quickly moved so that she wouldn't run into him, just in case his weird plane of existence actually allowed for them to _touch_. He wasn't quite sure about that, nor did he feel like finding out right now. He had to focus on other things.

For example; probing her mind so that he could be certain on how awake she was. She had to be awake enough to be relatively coherent so that this would work, but not _too_ awake. That would… well… lead to a lot of awkward questions, for starters, such as "What the heck are you doing here in my room in the middle of the night!"

He laughed slightly at that.

She shifted again, and then pulled the sheets up over her head. He held his breath and waited a moment until he was pretty sure she had settled back into the edges of sleep. Then he reached out and pulled the sheets away from her head.

"Kairi, listen…" he said slowly.

"Mphg…"

"I hate to be the one to have to tell you this," he said, soothingly. "But I guess I have to…" he trailed off slightly, then sighed, trying to make it sound like he _really_ didn't want to tell her all this, even though it wasn't like that at all. He was weaving these lies specifically for her.

But it wasn't like _she_ had to know that.

He carefully concentrated his energy, closing his hand into a fist; the typical gesture. The darkness came to his call like it always did, though it seemed a bit tentative, maybe afraid to be so close to a light so bright. Being a more focused and slightly more human concentration of darkness, he didn't have such basic instinctive fears.

_She's not THAT bright,_ he told the darkness, coaxingly. _She's tainted. Poisoned. _He chuckled. _No need to worry. I just need to alter her thoughts ever-so-slightly… make her REALLY believe what I'm about to tell her._

The darkness complied after that.

He took a second to drench the thought in the persuading tone that the darkness could produce and then gently pushed the thought towards her.

"Sora's gone," he whispered.

She shuddered.

"He's lost himself," he continued, voice not once faltering or catching. This was a very delicate process here, and he was nailing every part of it; trapping her in his lie. "He gave himself up to the darkness. And Sora, _your_ Sora, won't be coming back."

"He… he wouldn't…" she mumbled.

He raised his eyebrows.

_Damn you're a fighter…_ he thought, and then poured a bit more energy into his lie. Then, gently, he tugged a few of her memories to the surface. Not any of the painful ones; those would flat out wake her up, and he couldn't have that.

"Yes he would," he breathed. "You saw him; how he gave into darkness so quickly the first time. Now wasn't any different. He's gone."

Kairi sat up in sudden terror. He jumped back, a tad shocked, and then scolded himself for reacting so much. He could ruin all the work he had just done if he wasn't careful.

"No!" she shouted, voice filled with disbelief and horror. "He- he can't be! I- I won't-"

"Won't _what,_ sweetheart?" he laughed. "Last I checked, you were powerless to save him." He carefully tugged at one of the memories, feeding the darkness into it, _gently_ (he really didn't want to hurt her, after all) so that it became stronger.

He strengthened the numbness in it.

He strengthened the feeling of being useless; that overwhelming feeling that there was absolutely _nothing_ she could do to stop what was happening. Sora wouldn't listen to her, obviously. He hadn't last time. Why would he now? Why even bother?

What could she do to save him?

He pushed those thoughts, those doubts, those lies, towards her.

"What could you do to stop the darkness?" he then asked, quietly. "You are powerless. You have no way of fighting, no way of even _speaking_ to Sora. And even if you did, what could you do to convince him he was wrong? He'd just keep stumbling into the dark, and you couldn't save him-" He laughed, quietly, darkly. "Face it, sweetheart, he's gone."

Her tainted heart had no choice but to believe him; to believe all the lies he was telling her. She fell back down onto her bed, having no more strength to sit up, and hugged her knees to her chest.

He smiled slightly.

He couldn't pretend he wasn't enjoying this.

It had _worked_ after all. He could _feel_ the despair inside of her without even trying to. He had managed to convince her to believe the lie, and it was an absolutely wonderful feeling!

That is… until he heard her sob.

It was a strangled sob, a desperate sob, a sob that only someone who was half asleep and unaware of sobbing would sob. He glanced over at her, and his smile fell when he saw her tears. The tears were just rolling down her cheeks; she wasn't awake enough to try and prevent them.

He swallowed.

Something was tugging in his chest, turning in his chest, _pounding _in his chest.

He didn't even have to look to see the hurt that was burning inside of her.

He turned away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and he truly meant it.

And before he could hurt her anymore, he left.

_~the Dark Margin_

He hurt.

He hurt _a lot_.

His stomach was churning, and his entirely-too-real heart felt as if it had been torn in two. His vision was starting to get blurry, and he could feel something warm and wet forming in his eyes. He quickly reached up and wiped it away, confused.

"What- what is this?" he gasped, glancing at his finger.

It was wet with tears.

_Tears._

"Am I… _crying!_"

He couldn't believe it.

The thought was so absurd.

Him?

_Cry?_

"What the hell is this! I- I can't be- I- I'm not- I- I shouldn't be _capable_ of-"

He stopped.

_I shouldn't be capable of love, either,_ he reminded himself, again too afraid to say the thought aloud. Like avoiding saying it aloud would change anything about it.

He swallowed.

Because even though he wasn't quite going to admit it, it was true. He _did_ love Kairi. And that's why he felt the way he did now. So… hurt, even though he had no reason to be. So… broken, maybe, the word was; broken over the fact he had hurt her. So torn; torn over the fact he wasn't quite sure what to do. Shouldn't he be happy? Ecstatic? His plan had _worked_, after all.

But… he had hurt Kairi in the process.

And now he felt so upset—

No.

He felt completely dead inside.


	98. Haunted by a Nightmare

conglomerating... I like that word...

anyway, I'm too tired to really say anything

and I know what you're thinking: "But, rar, you didn't answer all of my questions on your blog! You didn't even post a separate post for our questions!"

Well, that's because I think I answered all the questions I could answer in the initial blog about this chapter. And all the other questions are, well, something that just have to be answered in story. Sorry.

**Update Feb 2014: **There is an ASAS extra content for this sequence, which is ch25 (conveniently labeled "Extra Content: Beast's Castle")

* * *

><p>"No time to explain," the Mouse interrupted. "We've got trouble."<p>

And, they really _did_ have trouble. All the Heartless that hadn't been killed, and much more that had since joined them, were beginning to cluster together into one large group. Pretty soon, it was impossible to determine a single separate Heartless in the bunch. They were all conglomerating together into a larger form, which slowly reared up.

It wasn't long before Sora had to crane his neck to look at its face. Its eyes were glowing yellow, like all Heartless, and three large red horns were poking out of its head. It had a wolf-like muzzle, complete with teeth that looked like they would be razor sharp. It had a chain collar around its neck, and the chain dragged along the ground behind it. Its body was structured similar to that of a Darkside, though much more muscular, and it had red claws. Thorns were wrapped around its arms, though they did not seem to constrict it at all, and its feet were bound together with another set of chains. It also had a mane that was dark red in color and constantly moving like fire.

A shiver went down Sora's spine.

This looked _exactly_ like one of the monsters he had imagined up when he was a kid.

He gripped his Keyblade tightly.

The man in the cloak chuckled, darkly. "Still scared of your old nightmares, Sora?" he taunted. Sora refused to look at him, but did catch out of the corner of his eye first recognition, then understanding cross the Mouse's face. Sora frowned slightly at that, but the sound of a dark corridor opening interrupted his thoughts. He turned, shocked, to find the man in the cloak disappearing through a dark corridor. He made a face, and then returned his attention to Heartless.

_It's alright,_ he told himself. _If this is just one of the monsters from my imagination, then I really don't have to be afraid of it, right?_

But for some reason, he seemed to be a lot more afraid of it now than he had been when he was a kid.

It didn't help that it punched the ground with one of its gigantic fists, narrowly missing him. A pool of darkness formed in the ground around the fist and a few branches of thorns shot out of the ground and tried to grab onto him. Sora quickly stumbled away, slashing at the thorns angrily to keep them away from him.

He had seen enough thorns for his lifetime…

He glanced over at the Mouse, only to find that the Mouse was already attacking the Heartless, not at all fazed by how menacing or large it was. Sora grimaced, and then rushed in for an attack himself. He had to jump to reach any vulnerable part, though, and it kept swatting him away as if he were only a fly.

There was a sudden roar of fury, and Sora only had just enough time to get out of the way as the Beast lunged forward, attacking madly. He quickly collapsed though, and Sora rushed to hold him back when he tried to get up again.

"Stop it," he said, firmly. "You're hurt! You should get out of here."

"I will not… have the Heartless destroying my castle!" the Beast replied, though his words came out strangled.

"I'm sure Sora can handle the Heartless," Belle said, helping the Beast to his feet. Sora frowned slightly in confusion; he hadn't noticed her come over. However, he nodded, and then said:

"Yeah, I'll make sure the Heartless don't do any damage. You get somewhere safe."

The Beast looked like he might have protested, but Belle was already dragging him away. Sora returned his attention to the Heartless. He thought about trying to attack it with his blade, but then decided to shoot Fira at it instead. It didn't seem to do any damage.

"Well… crap…" he muttered.

"Ya havin' any luck?" the Mouse called. He had paused in his persistent attacking of the Heartless and cast a glance over at Sora. Sora shook his head.

"Me neither," the Mouse sighed. "I haven't seen anything like this before."

"I have," Sora replied. "When I was a kid. It was one of the monsters that showed up in my nightmares…"

That was only a half-truth, though. Yes, he had seen this very monster in his nightmares a couple of times, but shortly after the nightmares it had become the center of his childhood fantasies. This monster was the typical face of evil, the typical threat.

_Guess that's why it's showing up now…_

He didn't have a chance to say anything more after that. The Heartless formed a ball of energy that looked much like the fire that made up its mane. It sent a large blast of the stuff in Sora's direction, and Sora didn't have enough time to get out of the way.

He screamed once the energy hit him.

Though the energy looked like fire, it burned like darkness.

It felt like his entire body was on fire, every one of his muscles screaming, every inch of his skin in agony. And to make it worse, he could feel it sapping at his energy, pulling at his chest, raging through his heart. He might have screamed again, but he was in too much pain to notice. He was vaguely aware that he was on the ground now-

He could see, very clearly, the monstrous face of the Heartless before him. It looked _very_ much like a wolf up close, and it even appeared to be grinning an almost doglike grin. Its breath was warm, and it smelled slightly. Sora shuddered, fear flooding through him, and the darkness eagerly latching on to that.

A ball of light came between him and the Heartless. The Heartless flinched away from the light, and Sora did too. The pain from the darkness stopped, but a different, almost sharper, pain shot through his head. He clutched his head, cringing away from the light. He couldn't take it.

"Fight it Sora! This is your nightmare!"

Sora almost laughed.

_He thinks the pain is being caused by the Heartless, doesn't he?_

_ That, somehow, it's-_

Then it clicked.

Sora pushed himself up, eyes going wide with understanding.

Nightmare.

This Heartless, this monster, was _his_ nightmare.

Was _his_ monster.

Was _his_ imagination.

And he knew exactly what he was supposed to do to stop it.

Not hesitating one second he rushed forward, half running half stumbling and finally just rolling past the Heartless' legs. He nearly tripped, but he didn't care. He picked up the chain that was dragging behind the Heartless, and pulled _hard_. The Heartless roared in fury as it was choked slightly. Sora grimaced, realizing he wasn't going to be able to actually pull it down on his own. _That _was something that would only work in a fantasy.

He quickly spotted the chains that bound its legs together.

That should do it…

"Get the chains binding its legs!" he called, though it probably sounded more like a scream.

He didn't see what happened next, but the Mouse did something that caused the Heartless to trip, and it fell over backwards. Sora only barely managed to get out of the way before it crushed him.

The battle went rather quickly after that. Tripping the Heartless let them reach its most vulnerable part: its face. They were able to get in a couple of combos before it got back to its feet again and they had to start the process all over.

The Heartless did, however, get a bit smarter as time wore on. It started using the dark fire attack more often, though Sora was much quicker to get out of the way, and not once did it hit him again, despite the Heartless' many attempts to make sure it did. The Heartless even went as far as to restraining him with thorns one time, but he managed to break free of them before the dark fire hit.

Fed up after about the fifth time of taking their Keyblades to its face, it began charging up a rather menacing looking attack. Sora threw up a Cure for himself and the Mouse so that they were prepared for what was coming next.

The Heartless roared, then pounded both of its fists into the round, sending a shockwave of the dark fire energy out. Thankfully, it wasn't too hard to jump out of the way of said shock wave. The shockwave was followed by blast after blast of the dark fire energy, but Sora managed to avoid all of those. The Mouse was grazed by one of the attacks, but he quickly summoned a bit of light to solve the problem. He grimaced and shuddered slightly though. The dark fire really was deadly.

They tripped the Heartless one last time, and after taking a few combos and blasts of light to the face, it let out a rather doglike whimper and then faded into darkness.


	99. Something Very Wrong

I would've had this up yesterday

but I was tired

I don't have much to say, really. However, I will be slowing down posting. Magik won't, she's insisting to catch up with me. Anyway, my beta hasn't gotten back on the next chapter yet (don't feel bad! You're only contributing slightly!) and even if I do a FREAKISH FAST UPLOAD of the next three chapters (because people decided to drag it out... *glares at Tifa*) I can't post the special chapter at a time I want to, so... slowing down...

* * *

><p>Sora banished his blade and did his best to regain his composure. He was still a bit shaken from the mere sight of the Heartless, being hit by dark fire, and… he couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for the Heartless. He knew he had no reason to, but that whimper it cried at the end…<p>

"Are you alright?" the Mouse asked.

Sora nodded. "Yeah. Just a bit…" he trailed off. There were a million questions running through his head right now. But for some reason, not a single one of them concerned the Mouse and who he was or where he came from. What Sora really wanted to ask was:

"Do you think he was right?"

"Hmm?"

"That man, in the cloak," Sora clarified. "He… he said that what was happening was merely a result of my own actions. Do you think that he meant… my darkness? And if he did… is he right?"

The Mouse was silent for a moment. He looked like he wasn't quite sure what to say. Sora felt a bit bad, now, for asking the question. But… he had to find out, and for some reason he felt like this Mouse might just have an answer for him.

"Well, that man was a member of a group known as Organization 13," the Mouse said finally. "I'm not sure if you should be trustin' him."

Sora laughed slightly. "I supposed you're right," he admitted, scratching his head a bit nervously. "I mean, he _did_ try and frame me. And I _saw_ him summon most of those Heartless. But…" He sighed. "It can't be coincidence that what we just fought looked exactly like a monster from my childhood fantasies."

"Well, if it was your darkness, maybe it was tryin' to take physical form, and-"

"Again?" Sora muttered, confused.

His darkness had already taken physical form once before, hadn't it?

His Shadow _was_ a physical representation of his darkness, wasn't he?

"What d'ya mean?" the Mouse asked.

"Nothing," Sora said, a bit quickly. He grimaced.

_"I'd rather NOT having you mention me, thanks,"_ his Shadow said.

_What, scared or something? _he replied.

_"No."_

Sora winced slightly and rubbed his head. He could pick up a couple of the thoughts running through his Shadow's head right now, and a wave of what felt kind of like… hurt… just surged through him.

And… was that the thought of Kairi?

Sora couldn't figure that out, though. His Shadow cut off all connection between them. He shook his head.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"Nah, nothing's wrong. I just-" Sora paused, realizing something. He laughed and turned to the Mouse. "Y'know, I've been sitting here asking you all these questions, and I haven't even bothered to ask what your name is."

The Mouse smiled.

"Call me Mickey."

Sora nodded. "Nice to meet you. I'm Sora." He had a feeling that Mickey already knew that, but he figured it would be best to introduce himself, anyway. He hesitated a moment and then asked: "So you wield a Keyblade?"

"Yup," Mickey laughed and summoned his Keyblade again for Sora to see. It was primarily blue and decorated with stars. "Why d'ya ask?"

"I just didn't know there were any other Keyblade wielders besides myself, that's all," Sora replied with a shrug. "I guess it's a good thing, though. Since there are more Keyblade wielders than just me, the fact that I screwed up really doesn't affect the universe in some devastating way or anything."

Mickey laughed and banished his Keyblade. "I guess that's one way to look at it."

Sora laughed, too, though his laugh was a bit nervous. "Yeah. Pity that doesn't fix _all_ my problems," he muttered.

_If it did… well…_

_ I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now._

He turned away, his eyes finding a spot to focus on, though he didn't really see what they were staring at.

_Not only in a painful struggle with the darkness…_

_ But afraid to go home-_

_ Because of what might be waiting for me…_

_ Or who might not be…_

He sighed.

"Gosh, Sora, are ya sure you're okay?" Mickey asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "Just… thinking about Kairi…" He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. "She's… my best friend," he explained, then swallowed. "Well... she _was_…" For some reason, the thought hurt more than it usually did.

Like… something was different…

Like… he _knew_ that was true, instead of just having his doubts.

He swallowed again. "I… I'm not sure how she feels about me after all that happened." It was hard for him to form the words. "I… I wouldn't be surprised if she hated me…"

Suddenly, that thought had more weight to it than uncertain doubt. Now, there was a cripplingly real weight attached to it.

Like… it was actually true.

He was beginning to feel sick.

"Aw, don't worry!" Mickey said. "I bet she'll forgive you."

Sora did his best to contain the bitterness that flared up inside of him. "How do you know?" he asked, fighting to keep his voice even. "You don't know her, and you've only known me for ten minutes!"

Mickey smiled. "Ya have a point," he laughed. "But even after only ten minutes, I can tell your heart is in the right place. An' that's what counts!"

Sora made a face, thinking about that. He clutched his chest.

"What… counts…" he repeated, slowly.

"You're sorry for what you did, aren't ya?"

"More than anything else…" he whispered. "But… how am I supposed to apologize for-"

"She'll understand!"

Sora looked up at him, shocked. Mickey was grinning.

"Friends always understand ya, even when no one else does."

Sora stood there for a moment, letting that sink in. Then he smiled, too.

"I guess you're right…" he said, slowly.

And yet…

There was still an awful feeling in his gut. Like something was terribly wrong. Even the reassurance of what Mickey had just said couldn't wipe it out. There was something…

Something about Kairi…

Something had happened…

Mickey frowned. "Gosh Sora, this really seems to be eatin' ya."

Sora shrugged.

"It's just… hard… not knowing…" he muttered, rubbing his neck.

"Well if ya want to know so bad, then why don't ya just go find out?" Mickey laughed.

"Because…" Sora began, but then paused. He swallowed.

Yes, he was scared to know. Yes, he wasn't quite ready for an answer, no matter what it might be. Yes, some of it was that he just didn't quite want to find out yet, because not knowing seemed better than being faced with an ugly truth.

But…

That wasn't at all why he wasn't going home to her.

"Because I don't want to go home until I'm sure that I won't hurt her again," he said finally. His hand clenched into a fist, a bit uncertainly. "I wouldn't… want to go home to apologize only to- to hurt her even more…" He swallowed. "And with my darkness-"

"The way it is now," Mickey finished, understanding. "I get it."

Sora smiled.

Mickey sighed.

"Welp, I should probably get goin'," he said. "Unless…" He turned to Sora expectantly.

Sora laughed and shook his head. "Short of me sitting here and moping, I'm pretty much out of things to talk about."

Mickey laughed, too.

"Then in that case…" He pulled a star shard out of his pocket. "I guess I'll see ya."

Sora nodded. "Yeah. I'll keep an eye out for you."

Mickey started to activate the star shard, but then paused. "About your darkness…" he said, slowly, and then trailed off. He made a face, looking like he hadn't quite been sure what he had intended to say and was now trying to think of something. Then he smiled at Sora. "Ya just can't give up. You're stronger than the darkness, Sora, and someday it'll see that, and it'll let ya go. But you're gonna hafta hold on 'til then."

Sora nodded again.

"Promise me that ya won't give up?" Mickey asked.

There was a surprising amount of determination in his eyes. So much determination, in fact, that Sora had take a second to think twice before he said:

"Yeah. I won't give up."

"Good."

Mickey activated the star shard, and was gone.

Sora stood there for a moment, unsure of what to make of all that had just happened. The Organization member, the Heartless, this conversation with Mickey and…

That feeling in his gut that had yet to go away…

It was all a bit-

"Finally!" came a rather exasperated and all-too-familiar groan. "I thought he'd _never_ leave!"

Sora turned, a scowl working its way onto his face, to find his Shadow leaning casually against a wall. It appeared as though he had been there for a while, though Sora would not put it past him to have shown up recently and be complaining over nothing.

"I just found the most interesting piece of information, and I've been _dying_ to tell you!" his Shadow continued, pushing himself away from the wall.

He was holding a piece of folded paper between two fingers, and there was a wicked grin on his face.


	100. Messenger of the Dark

Do I have anything to say about this chapter at the moment?

Eh... not really...

*hides behind a pillow*

* * *

><p>"What's that?" Sora asked, eyes fixed on the piece of paper, the letter. His Shadow just grinned and took a few steps toward Sora, waving the letter in front of his face.<p>

"I've been finding a lot of these lately, you know that?" he asked, his voice taunting. Sora flinched away slightly. He looked like he wanted to inquire further, but his mind was made up _not_ to do so.

His Shadow nearly laughed at that.

And then, realizing there wasn't really a reason he _shouldn't_ laugh, he went ahead and did so.

"You don't know, do you?" he taunted, his grin widening. He was determined to drag this out as long as he could. Maybe messing with Sora would make him feel a bit better. "She wrote you like, a thousand of these!"

"Her…?" Sora said, slowly. "You don't mean… Kairi, do you?"

He was almost _pleading_ in the way he said it. His Shadow chuckled. Sora's brain was in turmoil right now. Sora wanted to know more, but didn't quite trust him, and yet was a bit too curious to care. Because he wanted to know about Kairi. He wanted to _really_ have his doubts confirmed, though he was scared of hearing the answer.

Because he believed that Kairi hated him.

And his Shadow wasn't about to tell him otherwise.

Why did Sora need to know the truth?

If he did, it would ruin all the work he had put into this.

_And I didn't do THAT for nothing,_ he thought, a tad bitterly. He didn't want to actually form the words in his head, though, like he was trying to distance himself from what had happened with Kairi. Besides, if he thought about it too much-

"Who else would I be talking about?" he replied, rolling his eyes. "No one else cares enough to write you a thousand letters."

Sora stared for a second, looking rather confused and as if he didn't quite believe him.

"Wait, so she-"

"Whoops, sorry, my mistake!" his Shadow interrupted, and then laughed. To Sora, it probably sounded like he was laughing at the error of his ways (or something of that sort). In reality, though, he was laughing at how quickly Sora was falling into this.

This almost absolutely obvious trap.

"I meant to say no one else _cared_ enough to write you a thousand letters."

The look on Sora's face was priceless.

It definitely made his Shadow feel a bit better.

Of course, the look of absolutely _crushed_ hope always made him feel better, but the fact that he could feel how crushed Sora actually was helping the cause.

Sora swallowed a few times.

He appeared to be holding back tears.

"'Cared'?" he said, slowly, his tongue not wanting to form the word. "Like… past tense?" He paused. His Shadow was certain he was holding back tears now, and was happy to see that he was only barely managing to do so. "So she doesn't-"

His Shadow didn't let him finish.

Better to let Sora simmer in his confusion for a bit.

"All the letters talk about how much she missed you," he said, a babying tone creeping into his voice as he did so. "How much she wanted to talk to you-" He paused, eyes lighting up as Sora's hand moved to his pocket. "Do you have one?"

Sora quickly shook his head. "No," he replied, tersely.

His Shadow shook his head in mock disappointment. "Oh Sora, you should know by now that it's useless to lie to me. Why don't you let me see the letter?"

"Just shut up," Sora said, turning away. "I'm done. I don't want to hear this."

His Shadow rolled his eyes and raised a hand, calling to the darkness inside Sora to stop him.

"Give me the letter," he commanded, voice even.

Sora's hand slowly reached into his pocket and pulled the letter out, though Sora was struggling to keep it from doing so. It didn't matter though.

His Shadow grinned, darkly.

Sora really was nothing more than a puppet of the darkness.

His heart turned slightly in his chest at that thought, though.

It really wasn't that satisfying, he found.

So, instead of making Sora turn around and flat out hand the letter to him like he had originally planned, he shot a blast of energy at Sora, forcing him to drop the letter. Before the letter fell to the ground, he sent out a strand of darkness to catch it, and then pulled it to him. Sora turned to him, a glare on his face, but he was too busy unfolding the letter to care.

He scanned over it, quickly.

It wasn't anything new.

"Yup, same as always!" he declared, happily. "She misses you, she wants you to come home soon." His voice had regained the babying tone, and he paused for a second to scan Sora's brain for anything else to add to that list; hopefully something juicy.

Ah, there was the perfect thing!

"She hopes you're fighting like the brave knight she knows you are."

Sora turned away, shame clearly present.

His Shadow laughed.

"Or, rather, as she _knew_ you _were_," he said.

"Just shut up…" Sora muttered. He didn't really sound like if he had the strength to keep arguing. His Shadow smirked. "How- How am I supposed to believe you, anyway?"

"Because _I_ have one of her letters right here!"

He unfolded the letter, slowly, taking his time about it. He started to hand it over to Sora, but then snatched it away at the last second, laughing.

"Nah, I'll just read it to you!"

He had to "read" it to Sora, after all. It wasn't like any of Kairi's letters actually _said_ she had given up on him. But this letter was the vaguest, and would be the easiest to reword on the spot, making it really seem like she had given up on him.

And heck, then proceeded to rant angrily about it.

"Dear Sora," he began, his voice a mocking imitation of her (surprisingly, this was hard to pull off). "I'll admit it, I miss you a lot. I can't wait for-" The words caught in his throat. He knew these words.

And they were _not_ the words he had chosen for this.

He scanned the letter, angrily.

He recognized it almost immediately, though. He had read this letter a million times.

It was… not the right letter.

He had the wrong letter.

He swallowed, feeling the tears that were starting to form in his eyes. He turned away, quickly, before Sora could notice. He folded the letter up, crumpling it slightly in the process, and shoved it back in his pocket.

"Wrong letter," he said, casually.

Maybe he could blow this off.

All he had to do was find the _right_ letter-

There was nothing else in his pockets.

"Dammit," he muttered.

Of course, he had decided to clean out his pockets right before coming here. Of course.

And, now the belief and curiosity burning in Sora was falling into doubt. He wasn't believing this anymore. He was catching on to the ploy. He was beginning to understand that this had all really just been an act.

That there actually _was_ no proof.

Frustrated, his Shadow pulled a bit of darkness towards him. He was determined to make Sora believe this. It didn't matter if he had to feed the thoughts into him. Sure, it might not be as effective as it would have been if Sora had come to think these things himself, but it would get the job done.

"The letters stopped coming, after a while," he said, doing his best to use the darkness to wipe the awkwardness of the transition in his rant from Sora's mind. But, for some reason, the darkness wasn't responding quite like it always did. He was having trouble calling it to him, having trouble manipulating it.

Like it was hesitant about this.

_No, I bet its mocking me,_ he thought, bitterly. _Saying "Oh, serves you right! This is what you get for falling for her!"_

_ "LOVE! Ha! Darkness can't love."_

_ "You're being an idiot."_

_ "Wasting your time!"_

The words echoed in his head. He bit his lip and did his best to ignore them, even though he was pretty sure they were true.

_Forget the lies,_ he told himself, firmly. _No sense lying to Sora if I can't back it up. Go with truth. There's enough truth to work with to make him feel guilty, and I'll hardly need any darkness to make him believe it._

He looked up, eyes narrowed in determination.

Sora was walking away.

Obviously he was tired of waiting.

"Do you realize how much you've hurt her?" his Shadow called.

Sora stopped.

"I don't care," he said, firmly.

His Shadow laughed.

"Yeah you do! You care more than anything about how much you've hurt her." The words were coming quicker to him now. The darkness wasn't really helping back this up, but it didn't matter. He could do a lot with words alone, especially when the words were truth.

All he had to do was-

He tugged gently at Sora's guilt. He didn't need it to snap just yet. Just a bit of guilt would be enough.

Sora cringed, slightly.

"I saw her the other day, you know that?" his Shadow continued. "She was crying." His heart turned slightly at the thought, but he did his best to ignore it. "Crying, because of how much you hurt her. Crying, because of how scarred she is from having your darkness abuse-"

"I didn't abuse her!" Sora snapped, angrily, rounding on him.

He smiled.

Sora didn't quite entirely believe that statement.

This was working.

"You sure treated her like crud, though," he said, very matter-of-fact about it. He summoned his chains and worked them up in to their typical twirl. It helped him get his mind off other things.

Like the sight of Kairi crying…

And how hurt she really was…

Just because of what _he_ did.

_Not really because of what Sora did,_ he realized.

His chains faltered.

_Yes, she was hurt by Sora. But she doesn't really care. Somehow, she doesn't have it in her to hate or even resent him. She forgives him. She-_

He pulled the thought process to a halt, terror flooding through him.

He hadn't been careful enough to block that thought.

And now hope was working its way through Sora.

He quickly called some darkness to him to fix the problem, but it didn't really help at all. He couldn't manipulate it properly.

His heart was pounding in his chest, _throbbing_ in his chest.

_ This- this isn't working!_ he thought, panicked.

He could feel warm tears stinging in his eyes.

_Which means, really, I didn't have to do that to Kairi…_

"It's not fair…" he muttered, angrily. "I am _pure_ darkness! I don't- I- I shouldn't- I shouldn't give a damn! About anything! So why- why does…"

_Why does THIS hurt so much!_

_ What makes HER different!_

_ What is it about her that… that makes it…_

"Is something… wrong…?" Sora asked, breaking his thought process. Surprisingly, there was no mocking or bitterness in the question. Instead, there was sympathy.

Sympathy.

Pure, honest, _sympathy_.

For _him._

It hurt.

He turned to Sora, furious, rage roaring to life within him.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY, DAMMIT!" he screamed, and, in his fury, struck with his chains; the blow and the darkness that accompanied it doubled if not tripled by his rage and bitterness.

Sora screamed.

He laughed, though the laugh was hollow.

_Go ahead. Scream. Maybe this hurt you as much as you've somehow managed to hurt me._

_ If only you knew…_

He glanced back up at Sora, curious as to how bad the damage was. From the sound of Sora's scream, and the faint throbbing he could feel echoing inside him as a response, it must have been bad.

However, he was having trouble examining the damage.

His vision was blurred by tears.

He did manage to notice one thing, though:

Blood.

_A lot_ of blood.

But he could register no more before Sora activated his star shard and was gone.


	101. Bloody

SPECIAL CHAPTER TIME!1

ahahaha

just kidding

though, I guess this is special, because-

I'm uploading two chapters at once because this really is just one scene that Tifa decided she was going to DRAG OUT and make TWO CHAPTERS and... eh... after a couple of bad experiences with splitting a scene into two parts and waiting-

yeah...

* * *

><p>It was raining.<p>

He was spat out roughly onto the stone street of Hollow Bastion. He quickly threw out his hands to catch himself before he hit the ground, but due to the rain soaked ground and his blood drenched hands, he only ended up slipping and falling flat on his face.

Which _really_ hurt.

He groaned and slowly pushed himself up, clutching his left eye again. That was where the pain was most intense. There was another sharp pain in his shoulder, and _something_ on his right cheek stung.

Plus, there was darkness.

He could feel it, sapping away his strength.

He took a few shaky breaths, trying to ward off the pain. He felt like he was going to pass out any second, the pain was so much, but he knew that he should try and get to Aerith, even though he wasn't quite sure how he was going to get to her house. He didn't even know where _he_ was, let alone where her house was from his current position. Not to mention that Hollow Bastion looked really different while it was raining, and he could hardly see because his vision was so clouded with blood.

But instead of getting to his feet and trying to figure out what to do, he screamed.

Part of it was the pain, part of it was his anger.

"I KNEW IT!" he shouted, at the top of his lungs. "I knew it was just some stupid trick! You just wanted to make me feel sorry for you so that you could attack! I hate you!"

He was so angry.

At his Shadow-

At himself…

Why did he fall for the trick?

Hadn't he been skeptical the entire time?

What made him let his guard down?

"YOU MAKE ME SICK!" he screamed. "I HATE YOU! _I HATE YOU!_"

His scream slowly fell into a sob, and he just sat there, clutching his head, rocking back and forth slightly. It all hurt so much, _too _much, but he had wasted the last of his strength screaming. He was shaking, partially from his sobs, partially from being soaked in _both_ rain and blood.

And to make it worse, the darkness in the wound was hungrily eating what little energy he had left.

He screamed again, in pure anguish this time, but it was strangled and quickly fell into even more sobs.

XXX

"Oh, Aerith, look!" Tifa said, going over to the window. "It's raining!"

"So?" Aerith replied.

Tifa frowned, noting a lot of tenseness in Aerith's voice as she said that. She turned around to look at her. Aerith hadn't moved or even looked up from the plate she was currently washing.

"What's wrong?" Tifa asked. "I thought you loved the rain."

Aerith shook her head, stiffly, still refusing to look up. "I hate the rain," she said, voice catching slightly. "It's so sad and… painful…"

Tifa bit her lip, not at all liking the tone in Aerith's voice nor the look on her face.

But she didn't say anymore.

Instead, the room just faded into an incredibly empty silence.

Someone screamed.

Aerith looked up then, the tenseness on her face almost immediately replaced by worry. She set the plate down in the sink and dried her hands off. Tifa cocked her head to the side slightly, straining her ears to see if she could figure out who was screaming.

It wasn't any voice she recognized.

"Is that… Sora?" Aerith whispered, frowning slightly.

Tifa was already heading out the door.

It didn't take them long to find him. His continuous screams were more than enough to lead them to his position. He was in a sad state when they got there, though. He was sobbing, cradling his head in his hands, shaking… almost rocking back and forth slightly. Tifa wondered briefly why he was so upset, but the sight of the blood made her instantly dismiss it.

The physical state of anyone came before their mental state when it came to healing.

Unless, of course, the mental state had to be calmed before the person would even consider needing to be healed.

But Tifa had a feeling that wouldn't be a problem here.

She turned to Aerith for instruction; even if she was an experienced healer herself, Aerith's skills and knowledge far surpassed hers.

She was surprised to find Aerirth frozen, paralyzed, staring at Sora with something between shock and horror on her face. Tifa frowned, wondering what was wrong. The sight of blood never bothered Aerith. It didn't matter how much blood there was, and Tifa was certain that Aerith had seen more blood than this before. So, what was the problem?

Why hadn't Aerith run to Sora immediately upon seeing him, ready to heal his wounds?

Then it hit her.

She cursed herself for not realizing it sooner, when she had sensed Aerith's discomfort concerning the rain.

The rain, though painful, could not have been that hard for Aerith to ignore, especially when someone was most likely hurt and needed healing.

The blood probably wasn't that hard to ignore either. Aerith saw enough blood from the injuries received during the battles with the Heartless. She had most likely just grown so used to it that the sight didn't immediately remind her of him.

But the rain… and the blood… together…

Especially with such a large amount of blood pouring from whatever wound Sora had received.

Plus, Tifa could see it now, there was darkness. Plenty of darkness was rising from Sora, and probably was festering in his wounds, too. She could see the nasty tendrils of it warping the air around them, and could only imagine how it was affecting Sora. It was at least making the pain about ten times worse, and would definitely be quite an obstacle when they finally got around to healing him.

Because darkness made healing wounds ten times more annoying.

And if the wound was fatal-

Tifa didn't even need to finish the thought before she understood exactly what had made Aerith freeze upon seeing Sora.

She swallowed.

Then, hoping to save both Aerith's sanity and Sora's physical state, she said:

"Aerith, why don't you head back? I think I can take care of Sora."

Aerith closed her eyes, and a look of pain flashed across her face for a second before being contained. She took a deep breath, and when she opened her eyes again, they were filled with the determination Tifa was used to seeing.

"No, it's alright," she said, steadily enough that Tifa wasn't _too_ worried about her. "I think I can handle this."

Aerith slowly made her way over to Sora, kneeling down next to him, seeming a bit more hesitant than she usually was. She gently tried to pull Sora's hands away from his head, but he resisted her, groaning slightly. She bit her lip, and Tifa saw that she was trembling ever so slightly.

She sighed and made her way over.

Apparently, she would not only have to help Aerith through this, but Sora, too.

"Sora," she said, gently, using a tone that she really only directed at Cloud (honestly, it felt weird to be using it when he was nowhere around). "It's alright. You're okay now." She gently, but firmly, pried his fingers away from his head. "We're going to fix you up, got it? You just have to-" The words caught in her throat when she finally saw his face.

It was almost completely covered in blood. The only blood free part of his face was his right eye, really, and a couple of streaks in the blood that she wasn't quite certain were caused by the rain or his tears. His left eye was a bloody mess, and the only way she could distinguish the large gash that ran across the rest of his face was the darkness that was festering in the wound. What blood free skin there was was discolored; probably warped by the darkness.

Aerith turned away. She was shaking.

"Aerith, do you want me to-" Tifa began, even though she was positive now that she really wouldn't be much use here. The type of healing Sora needed only Aerith could provide.

"No, it's okay," Aerith interrupted. "I- I can do this."

Her voice wasn't nearly as steady as it was before.

Aerith cast a simple Cure to, most likely, keep the wound from bleeding anymore. The darkness in the wound, however, canceled the spell out.

The look on her face upon realizing this was unbearable.

Tifa stared for a moment, unsure of what to do.

Sora needed medical attention that only Aerith could give him.

Aerith was freaking out.

Aerith wasn't going to _stop_ freaking out anytime soon and Tifa didn't necessarily blame her for it.

However, Sora's health was at stake now.

And the longer she let Aerith sit here, the less likely he was going to get better.

She took a deep breath, and then said:

"Why don't we get him inside? Sitting out here isn't doing us any good."

Aerith turned to her, a bit shocked, but the shock was quickly replaced by understanding. She knew that she was freaking out. She knew that wasn't helping right now. She knew that it needed to stop. She rose to her feet, looking like she wanted to apologize, but yet knowing that it really wouldn't help.

The look hurt a bit, but Tifa was just glad that progress was being made.

She dug a potion out of her pockets and forced Sora to drink it. A potion, though it wouldn't really help the wound itself, would at least stop the bleeding. And, the darkness couldn't cancel out the effects of a potion, which was certainly a plus.

"Okay, Sora, do you think you can stand?" Tifa asked. He didn't specifically say yes, but he didn't protest either, and that was a good enough answer for her. She helped him to his feet, though he stumbled the moment she let go of him.

She blamed his probably really disoriented vision.

Oh, and he had lost a lot of blood, too.

She ignored the nagging thought at the back of her mind that there was somehow more to this.

Though it was hard to do when she had to support Sora for the entire walk back to Aerith's house…

_He's just been severely injured,_ she told herself. _Probably just in shock._

_His face has just been torn open and he really can't see._

_I think I'd be in shock, too, if I were in his position._

They were nearly at Aerith's house, now, which Tifa was thankful for. She hoped that as soon as they were inside and out of the rain, Aerith would start doing a bit better. Being out of the rain would take one painful reminder away, and hopefully she'd be able to deal with the large amount of blood and the darkness then.

Aerith had already rushed inside the house. Tifa hoped she was doing something sensible like getting them towels so that they could dry off, and _not_ having a mental breakdown.

Sora suddenly stopped.

They weren't that far from the door.

Tifa tried to keep him going, but he refused to budge.

She did her best not to groan.

This was _definitely_ not what she needed right now.

"C'mon, Sora," she said, pushing him forward. "We have to get you healed."

He shook his head and stayed put. His hand was frantically grasping at his neck, as if trying to grab onto something that wasn't there but should have been. He started scanning the ground for whatever he was missing, though how he planned on finding anything when he could only see out of one eye Tifa wasn't entirely sure.

She frowned, trying to figure out what it was that he was missing.

She vaguely remembered him wearing a necklace of sorts when she had seen him back in Olympus Coliseum. He must have lost it recently.

She wasn't really all that surprised, though. The gash across his face also cut across his neck and into his shoulder. The necklace could've been easily been severed by a blow that did _that_much damage.

She sighed.

"Listen, Sora, you go inside and have Aerith take care of you," she said. "I'll find it, okay?"

He only stared at her, which was a bit unnerving with the bloody mess that was his left eye.

"You, go, in," she repeated slowly, pointing at the door. "I'll find it."

He nodded in a way that kind of reminded her of Cloud, and then headed inside.

Despite the rain and the terrible lighting, it didn't take Tifa too long to find his dropped necklace, and she was grateful for that.

_I wonder why he's so worried about it…_ she couldn't help but think as she bent down to pick it up. It was nothing special, really. Just a plain crown charm on a chain. The chain was severed, just as she thought, and it didn't look like it would be easy to fix.

_Maybe it means something special to him._

There was some blood splattered on it, though with the rain it was starting to wash off. Tifa took a moment to rub off what blood was left with her fingers before heading inside.


	102. Empty

Hey! I uploaded two chapters at once! Make sure you read the other one first!

* * *

><p>"Here you go," Tifa said, gently forcing the necklace into Sora's hands. He stared at it, a bit blankly, but she wrote it off as the fact he probably couldn't see very clearly. She smiled at him and then headed to the kitchen where Aerith was, preparing a wet rag.<p>

"You need me to do anything?" Tifa asked.

Aerith glanced up at her.

"Um… sure," she said, slowly. She sounded a bit distracted, still. "Can you go get one of Leon's shirts from the dryer? We should get Sora into something clean."

Tifa chuckled. "Sure thing." She turned to do so, but then Aerith stopped her.

"Listen, I'm sorry about-"

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it," she told Aerith, firmly. "I would've freaked out, too."

Aerith made a face. "Still, I-" she began.

Tifa shook her head again. "Not now. Sora needs healing." And before Aerith could argue or apologize any more, she went to go get one of Leon's shirts from the dryer. When she came back, Aerith was helping Sora out of his torn and bloodied shirt. Tifa winced slightly. The gash in his shoulder looked a lot worse than she had originally thought.

"Something going on?" Yuffie asked, groggily. Tifa turned to find her standing at the top of the stairs.

"Couldn't sleep?" she called.

Yuffie shook her head. "Storms always keep me awake," she muttered, making her way down the stairs. "That, and someone was-" Her eyes widened in shock as she caught sight of Sora. "Oh," she said simply. She stood there for a moment, and then asked: "Anything I can do to help?"

"Can you make Sora some hot chocolate?" Tifa replied. She had a feeling that he could use some.

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Of course I can make him hot chocolate! I'm not stupid!" She shoved past Tifa and into the kitchen.

Tifa started to respond, but then thought better of it. She headed up the stairs instead, and then knocked on Leon's door.

"Leon?" she called.

He groaned.

"Are you awake?"

There was silence for a moment.

"I _can_ be," he said, though he didn't sound incredibly excited about the idea.

She sighed. "Well, Sora just showed up, and he's severely injured," she said. "And Aerith's kind of freaking out, because of the rain, and all the blood, and there was darkness in the wound… She's doing okay now, but Sora's acting a bit off, and if something happens, I'd rather not be the only one around who's responsible enough to take care of it."

"Yuffie's awake?" Leon asked.

"Yeah."

He yawned.

"Give me a second. You should probably wake up Cid, though. He'll complain about missing something if he isn't awake…"

Tifa laughed.

"Thank you."

Leon didn't respond.

Tifa sighed and then went to Cid's room, pounding rather mercilessly on his door.

"Oi, Cid!" she called. "Leon said I should wake you up, because something important might be happening!"

"Who said I was sleepin'!" Cid shouted back. "Now go mind yer own business! I'll come down when I want to, an' not any sooner!"

Tifa chuckled and then made her way back downstairs. Yuffie had finished the hot chocolate, and was setting down a cup of it in front of Sora. She had made a cup for herself, too. Leon was sitting on the couch across from Sora, looking like he wasn't entirely awake yet. Aerith had finished up cleaning up all of Sora's wounds, and was now trying her best to heal them.

"I'm not sure if I can heal this up all the way," she told him gently. "There's an awful lot of darkness in the way."

Yuffie frowned in confusion.

"I thought that the darkness wasn't really a problem for you, Aerith," she said. "You've cured plenty of other wounds that were full of darkness!"

"Yuffie, most of those wounds were _much_ smaller," Leon sighed. "And there is definitely more darkness in this wound than in any of the others. Sora's going to be lucky if he doesn't lose sight in his left eye."

Aerith only nodded in agreement. She was too busy concentrating on healing Sora's left eye to say anything.

Yuffie looked as if she didn't entirely believe them.

"The amount of darkness can't make _that_ much of a difference," she muttered.

"It can make all the difference in the Worlds," Aerith replied quietly.

Yuffie started to say more, but Leon silenced her. Tifa thanked him silently, and then resolved to thank him again later. For now, though, she went and got the bandages, since Aerith was going to inevitably need them at some point.

"Nice trick you got there, banishing the darkness from a wound like that," Sora said, rather suddenly.

Tifa's ears perked up. That was the first thing she had heard him say all night.

However… she didn't like the tone in his voice…

"Pity you didn't know how to do that, oh, three years ago," Sora continued.

Tifa turned around, shocked.

"You aren't…" she whispered.

And to make it even worse, there was really no way she could stop him from continuing. Well, she _could_ punch him in the face, but that didn't seem like a good idea at the moment, with him being injured and all.

Thankfully, Aerith didn't seem too fazed.

Yet.

"You could've saved him, huh, if you had known how to do this then," Sora said, sounding more amused than anything else.

Tifa started wracking her brain for any reasonable way to get him to snap out of it that didn't require hurting him.

Though, from the looks of things, Yuffie was about ready to throw her hot chocolate at him, and that would take care of things…

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!" Sora laughed, as Aerith ignored him. "I know it still hurts you: the fact you couldn't save him. It's written in your eyes."

Aerith turned away slightly.

"You tried so hard, didn't you?" Sora continued, not missing a beat. "But there was just too much darkness and not enough time. And that hurts, because if you had just-"

"_Sora!_"Yuffie shouted, appalled.

He turned to her, a bit shocked, and then stared at her blankly for a moment. Then, slowly, maybe a bit hesitantly, he turned back to Aerith. He grimaced.

"I- I'm sorry!" he stammered. "I'm so- so sorry. I didn't mean- I-"

He gasped and clutched his head.

"Stop it! _Stop it!_" he cried, curling up into something that resembled a fetal position. "It's bad enough you made me do this to Cloud, but now Aerith, too! Just stop it! _Stop!_"

"Wha's all this yellin' about!" Cid demanded, coming down the stairs, looking rather disgruntled.

"Well-" Leon began.

"Stop laughing!" Sora shouted. "Stop laughing! _It's not funny!_ I can't believe I ever felt sorry for you! _Stop it!_"

"Sora," Aerith said, calmly. "Calm down. I can't heal you if you're freaking out like this."

"Then don't heal me!" Sora snapped. "I don't care! I deserve the pain!"

"Sora, you don't-"

"I don't care!"

Aerith sighed.

"Sora, listen, it's alright-"

"No! It's not alright!" he interrupted before she could finish. "I'm tired of him using me to hurt other people! He needs to learn that this _isn't_ okay!"

"And just how is harming yourself teaching him a lesson!" Tifa shouted. She felt slightly bad for shouting, but if Sora was anything like Cloud, then shouting was really the only thing that was going to get through to him. Plus, she was starting to get annoyed.

Sora stared at her.

"Who are we talking about!" Yuffie asked.

"Sora's Shadow… I think…" Leon replied.

"He can't feel your pain, Sora," Tifa continued, ignoring them. "If he could, he wouldn't have done this to you!"

Now, she wasn't _entirely_ sure if Sora's Shadow had been the one who had hurt him. However, given the context of the entire situation, he seemed like a pretty reasonable guess.

"But I-" Sora began.

Tifa wouldn't hear it.

"If you think you deserve pain, then fine! I'll punch you in the face later if it'll make you feel better. But this wound is too large to be gambling with! Do you want to lose sight in your left eye?"

"Well… no…"

"Then shut up and let Aerith heal you."

Sora didn't argue after that.

Tifa sighed, set the roll of bandages down on the coffee table, and then went to the kitchen to… get herself some hot chocolate, maybe. Well, honestly, she didn't know why she headed to the kitchen. But, since she was there, she figured she might as well do something.

"Y'know," Cid said, coming in and leaning against the counter. "I wasn't actually plannin' on comin' downstairs. But, man, am I glad I did."

Tifa raised her eyebrows at him. "What, did you enjoy me yelling at Sora or something?"

Cid scratched his chin. "Well, if you want to put it like that…" he muttered.

She laughed and shook her head.

He shrugged.

"Well, you and Cloud are never around at the same time anymore, so it's not like I get to see you yell at him."

Tifa stared.

"You _enjoy_ watching me yell at people?" she asked in disbelief.

Cid merely shrugged again.

Tifa shook her head, and then, deciding that making hot chocolate was really more effort than it was worth (considering she hardly wanted it, anyway), she poured herself a glass of water.

"Hey, Cid, you're good at fixing things, aren't you?" she said.

Cid frowned.

"What kinds of things?"

"Well." She paused to put the water back in the fridge. "The chain of Sora's necklace broke, and I thought maybe you could-"

"I can look at it. I can't make any promises."

"Thanks. I'm sure Sora appreciates it, too."

"Yeah, yeah," Cid replied with a wave of his hand as he left the kitchen.

Tifa sighed and then followed after him.

The room was surprisingly empty. Only Leon and Sora were there now. Leon looked like he was going to fall asleep sitting up. Sora had been bandaged, and was now sitting with his head in his hands.

"Yuffie said she was going to go back to bed, and Aerith's trying to get the blood out of Sora's shirt," Leon explained, rather groggily.

Cid sat down where Yuffie had been sitting previously and picked up Sora's necklace from the coffee table and started fiddling with it.

"You can go back to bed if you want, Leon," Tifa laughed. "Thanks for your help."

He nodded, then rose to his feet and trudged up the stairs.

Tifa sat down where he had been sitting. After a moment, she asked Sora:

"Is something wrong?"

He glanced up at her.

"I feel… numb, on the inside," he said, slowly. "Like… like something's missing."

She frowned.

"Do you have any idea what you might be missing?"

He shook his head.

"I just feel… empty."


	103. Lazy Afternoons

technically... this should go in ASAS, because it is totally AU...

however...

it makes such a wonderful special chapter, doesn't it?

* * *

><p>Sora stepped out into Twilight Town, and then winced slightly. It was <em>very<em> bright in Twilight Town, and looking around with only one eye didn't help matters one bit. He grimaced. Maybe he should've just stayed until the dang wound healed enough that he didn't need bandages anymore…

"Sora!"

He turned, slightly shocked, though when he found it was Joseph who was calling to him, he realized that he really shouldn't have been surprised. He laughed slightly, and waved. Joseph ran over.

"What a coincidence to run into you here!" he said, coming to a stop next to Sora. He grinned. His grin fell, though, upon noticing the bandages. "Dude! What happened to you!"

Sora took a deep breath.

"It's a long story," he said. He didn't really want to explain all the details concerning his Shadow to Joseph. However… he figured Joseph would want _some_ sort of explanation, so he said: "But, basically, I got in a fight with the darkness and am most likely going to have a very nasty scar across my face."

Joseph grimaced.

"How bad is it?" he asked.

In response, Sora shrugged off his jacket and pushed aside his shirt so Joseph could see the damage that had been done to his shoulder, too. Joseph winced.

Sora shrugged and pulled his jacket back on.

"It doesn't hurt too bad," he muttered. "My eye hurts the most. Aerith said I was lucky it wasn't any worse, otherwise I wouldn't be able to see out of the eye anymore."

"I should get you some ice-" Joseph stopped mid-sentence, eyes going wide in shock. "Ah _fish_!" he muttered. "I really need to stop doing this!" He turned back around, scanned the area behind him for a moment, then yelled: "Toby! Where'd you go!"

Sora raised his eyebrows (with some difficulty due to the bandages). "Who's Toby?" he asked, getting an odd notion that he had heard the name before.

"You'll see as soon as I find him," Joseph replied, quickly running off.

Sora watched for a second, and then followed after him. They found who he was looking for by the ice cream shop, looking rather miffed. Sora raised his eyebrows at the sight of the boy. He couldn't have been much older than eight.

"You ran off," Toby muttered, staring directly at Joseph. "I wasn't sure if I should follow you or not." He glanced over at Sora then, eyes widening slightly in shock. "Who are you?"

"He's my friend!" Joseph replied before Sora could even open his mouth. "His name is Sora!"

Sora smiled, and then nodded.

Toby waved.

Sora laughed slightly, and then waved back.

"Oh!" Joseph exclaimed, rather suddenly. "I have something I need to give you Sora! Gimme a second, okay?" And before either Sora or Toby could respond, he darted through a dark corridor.

It couldn't have even been a minute when he returned.

"Here," he said, handing Sora two halves of a broken wooden sword. Sora stared at them, confused, and Joseph shifted uncomfortably. "It sorta got broken," he muttered, refusing to look Sora in the eye.

Sora laughed.

"Hey, no big deal," he said. "It happens."

Joseph sighed.

"I still feel bad."

Sora slowly sat down, set the broken sword aside, and then reached up and started undoing his bandages. Joseph stared at him, confused, but Sora didn't explain what he was doing. He just pulled the bandages away from his face, and then winced.

Twilight Town was _extremely_ bright, especially to an eye that had been closed for the past few days. He blinked a few times, trying to get used to it, and then tried to open his eye all the way. It hurt. He quickly settled on just squinting with that eye, because it hurt less.

Once he was done with that, he picked up the two halves of the broken sword and pieced them back together as best as he could. Then he used his dirty bandages to bind both halves together. It turned out rather well, though the sword was slightly crooked. He held it up for Joseph to see.

"There, all fixed."

Joseph stared.

Sora raised his eyebrows, trying hard not to wince as he did so. He hoped that eventually his eye would stop hurting so that he wouldn't have such a hard time with simple facial expressions.

"What?" he asked, and then looked at the sword. "Okay, I suppose it's not the best of work, but it really doesn't matter. I don't really need this old sword anymore."

"Not the sword…" Joseph said slowly. "It's that scar… are you sure it doesn't hurt?"

Sora made a face, which somehow didn't hurt his eye, and then nodded.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Does it look really nasty or something?"

Joseph nodded.

Sora laughed.

"Well, I guess I deserve it. _This_ is what happens when you meddle with the darkness, kids! Don't do it! It's bad for you!"

Joseph laughed at that, and Toby laughed slightly, too, even though Sora was pretty sure he didn't understand the joke.

Then it hit him.

He remembered where he heard the name before.

He smiled slightly, and then got on his knees so he could look Toby in the eye.

"You're name is Toby, right?" he asked.

Toby nodded.

"Y'know Toby, I know a story about a mighty king named Tobias," Sora said, slowly, doing his best to ignore the nostalgia that was burning inside of him. "They called him Tobias the Fiery Menace, mainly because he had fiery red hair, like you, but also because he had a fiery personality."

"Was he evil?" Toby asked.

Sora shook his head.

Toby frowned. "Then why did they call him a menace?"

Sora laughed.

"Because he ruled his country so well, all the other kings were jealous of him," he explained, a sly smile working its way onto his face. He picked up his broken sword and then hopped to his feet, brandishing the blade. "And if _you_ were Tobias the Fiery Menace, then I'd be Samson the Assassin!" He declared his "name" proudly, striking a pose as he did so. Both Toby and Joseph laughed.

"And I was hired to kill you," Sora continued. "You gonna let me?"

"Never!" Toby replied, picking up a nearby stick and brandishing it.

Joseph made a face. "Who would I be?" he asked, turning to Sora skeptically.

Sora paused, and thought about it for a moment. Then he laughed, surprised that it hadn't hit him sooner.

"You can be Sir Joseph," he said. "Tobias' brave and loyal knight."

Joseph made a face, but then drew his own sword.

XXX

They ran around Twilight Town for quite some time, and, surprisingly, Toby and Joseph put up a fairly good fight. Sora quickly dodged around a corner and hid there, trying to keep his breath steady so that he wouldn't give himself away by breathing too loud.

_It's been so long since I've had to run so much… _he thought, remembering his days as a kid on the Islands. _But man Toby has a lot of energy in him! I'd be surprised if he tired out after a full day of this!_

He stole a glance around the corner to see if either of the boys was nearby.

"There he is!" Joseph shouted.

Sora frowned, and then turned around. Joseph was standing in a different entrance to the side area Sora had been hiding in, which was, not surprisingly, up a whole level. Sora grimaced and scolded himself for not bothering to look and make sure he was in a relatively good hiding spot.

"What are you waiting for? Get him!" Toby commanded.

Joseph jumped down to where Sora was. Sora quickly ran off, hoping that Joseph was as tired as he was, and therefore the chase would be relatively fair. It turned out that it didn't really matter, though. Toby jumped down from the bridge Sora was running under and blocked his path.

"Didn't think so!" Toby laughed, brandishing the stick he was using for a sword.

Sora grimaced.

It wasn't that he was in a really bad position right now.

In fact, he was in a very good position to "kill" Toby and declare the game over.

However, that would be completely unfair to the poor boy.

Thankfully, Joseph came to his rescue. He ran up behind Sora, sword prepared to strike. Sora heard him coming just in time and managed to block Joseph's blade, only barely.

_It's a good thing we're only using toy swords,_ he thought with a laugh, and then pushed Joseph's sword away.

They fought for a bit, and then Joseph swung his sword down, _hard_, on Sora's sword. Sora's sword, being held crudely together with bandages that had loosened over time, snapped in half again. Sora glanced at the half that he still held with disappointment; he could've sworn he had tied the halves together better than that…

Joseph quickly kicked the other half out of reach and pointed his sword at Sora's chest.

Sora sighed and dropped the half of a sword he was holding and held up his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay," he sighed. "You guys win! I'm beat!"

Joseph cast a glance over at Toby. "Would you like to do the honors, sire?" he asked.

Toby shook his head. "Nah, you can kill him."

Sora almost chuckled at that, but quickly stifled it so that he'd stay in character. "Kill me!" he asked, pretending to be shocked. "But what about a trial? Shouldn't I get a trial!"

"You've committed treason!" Toby replied. "And the punishment for treason is-"

"Immediate death," Joseph finished.

Sora decided he wouldn't mention that treason wasn't technically the right term for the crime he had "committed". It was funny, though. Treason _would_ have been the right term had this been anything like the play he had been in when he was a kid.

Well, one of the right terms. If this was like the play, he would've been convicted of at least six before the day was through.

_"Sir Joseph, stand down!"_

His heart turned in his chest.

_Kairi… if you had yelled at me like that when I was getting to close to the darkness…_

_ Would I have listened to you?_

Joseph stabbed him, hard, interrupting his thought process. It didn't _really_ hurt, nor did it _actually _do any damage, but Sora had played dead often enough to know better than to mention that. He quickly clutched his chest and staggered back, pretending to be severely injured, even taking the time to check for "blood".

"This- this isn't fair!" he gasped, taking extra care to draw his words out as if he was actually dying.

Then he fell over.

He grimaced once he hit the ground. The stone streets of Twilight Town hurt _a lot_ more than the relatively soft sand of Destiny Islands. The only upside to this was he wouldn't have to worry about getting sand in his hair or clothes or something. He ignored that thought and made a face; something that he hoped would pass as "dead", then he held his breath.

There was silence for a moment.

Sora grimaced, trying not to let out the breath he was holding.

Someone else had to say something first…

Someone kicked him lightly in the side.

"Are you actually dead?" Toby asked.

Sora couldn't help it. He had to laugh at that. The laughing quickly turned to coughing, though, and he rolled over, trying to get the coughing under control.

"Oh gosh, Sora, don't seriously die!" Joseph said. "That would suck!"

Sora only coughed some more.

"Will you stay alive if I get you ice cream?"

Sora laughed again, though the laughter hardly made it out through his coughing. "Stop- stop making me laugh!" he managed to say, and then proceeded to continue coughing. Thankfully, the coughing fit didn't last long after that.

"You okay?" Joseph asked.

Sora nodded.

"It's been a while since I've held my breath for that long," he replied, and then grinned. "The laughing didn't help either, though. Now what was that you said about ice cream…?"

Joseph laughed and stuck his sword back through his belt.

"Yeah, sure, gimme a sec and I'll get some."

XXX

About five minutes later, Joseph and Sora were eating their ice cream. Toby had finished his rather quickly (Joseph said he had only ever seen Axel eat ice cream so fast) and was currently running through the Tram Common, probably a bit crazy from the sugar. Joseph was too tired to run after him, and Sora was just tired period.

But, hey, he had had a good day.

"Did you make all of that up?" Joseph asked rather suddenly, turning to Sora.

Sora shook his head.

"No. I based it off of a play I was in when I was about your age," he replied. "Well, I added the 'Fiery' part to Tobias the Menace, and I swapped the parts around. Tobias was the assassin, Samson was the king. But-" He smiled. "I didn't really peg Toby as an assassin type, and sometimes you have to change the character to fit the person. The person won't _always_ fit the character."

Joseph nodded, understanding. "I get it; it's like how you made up a character for me."

Sora laughed.

"No, Sir Joseph was real! I mean, he was Samson's knight, but he was real."

Joseph frowned.

"I don't believe you…"

Sora threw a look at him.

"Well, I would sure hope Sir Joseph was real. He was the part I played in the play." He sighed. "I mean, if you really want to know, you can ask Kairi, she was-" He paused, heart turning in his chest again. "She was in the play, too…" he finished quietly, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

Joseph started to say something, but then he stopped.

Sora pretended he didn't notice and took a bite of his ice cream.

They stood there in silence for a bit, until Toby came running up. He looked like he was relatively tired out. Relatively.

"Hey Joseph, do you think we should be heading back now?" he asked.

Joseph shrugged.

"Do you want to head back?"

"Kinda…"

Joseph turned to Sora.

"Hey, you can go," Sora said. "I'm not keeping you!"

Joseph nodded and then formed a dark corridor. Toby quickly went through. Joseph started to follow, but paused.

"Hey, thanks for helping me occupy Toby!" he said. "I feel bad for 29 now, especially if I was this hard to handle." He shook his head.

Sora laughed.

"Sure thing!"

Joseph saluted, then started through the corridor.

"Joseph!" Sora called. "Thanks!"

Joseph frowned and turned back to him.

"What, for the ice cream? That's nothing! You know that!"

Sora smiled then shook his head. "No, not for the ice cream, but for a good day. That was fun."

_I… haven't had this much fun since I was a kid._

_ Back when all I worried about was the play-pretend world that I practically lived in._

_ How long has it been now?_

_ Two years?_

_ No… three now. It would be three years._

"What's that face for?" Joseph asked.

Sora looked up, a bit confused; he hadn't realized he had been making a face. Then he laughed; it wasn't really a surprise, given what he had been thinking about. He smiled.

"Today's my birthday," he said. "I'm 15 years old now."


	104. Won't Be Gone Long!

three things!

one: off hiatus! Updates might be a bit slow for a bit, but it shouldn't be any less than once a week (and will hopefully go back to the twice a week vibe I had going for a while)

two: I uploaded something to ASAS! It's not much, but be sure to check it out! (I think one of the chapters between 9-11. Probably.)

three: there's a blog post about this chapter RIGHT NOW! (You can find it through the Chapter Commentary ref page which is linked to on my profile.)

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><p><strong>Part 2<strong>

_Running from the Past_

or

_Searching_

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><p>"Twentyy-ni-ine!" Joseph whined. "I'm bored! And Toby's bored, too! And we've <em>been<em> bored for like, the past three hours!"

Namine chuckled. She had a feeling that was an understatement, because Joseph had only been bothering 29 about it for the past three hours. And she could remember him mentioning to her sometime before that that he was bored.

"Why don't you go to Twilight Town?" 29 suggested calmly.

"We've been to Twilight Town like, twenty times already!" Joseph replied. He was still whining.

"Have you shown Toby around Castle Oblivion?" 29 asked.

"Yes!" Joseph said.

"Twice," Toby added.

29 sighed. "And just what do you want me to do about it?"

"Can we go to a different World!" Joseph asked.

Riku snorted.

Namine threw a glance over at him.

He shrugged. "What?" he asked. "It's not like 29's going to agree to that. And before you complain about me breaking your concentration or anything; you haven't been drawing for the past three minutes. You've been focusing on Joseph."

Namine sighed.

"I guess I just wish we could… help him out…" she muttered.

Riku raised his eyebrows.

"How, exactly?"

She shrugged. "Take him to Hollow Bastion? Let him blow off some steam?"

He made a face. "Maybe not the best idea," he said, then quickly added: "The Hollow Bastion part, anyway. Considering, you know, all the Heartless. Maybe somewhere else."

"Like where?"

"I don't know… Somewhere there's not a lot of Heartless."

Namine frowned, thinking about that. There weren't many places she knew of that didn't have a lot of Heartless. Olympus Coliseum had a rather… contained amount, but she didn't think that was the _best_ place to take Joseph and Toby. And, besides that, the only other place she could think of was-

"Home…" she whispered.

Riku grimaced.

"Well, if you want to take them…" he said, slowly. "I think I'll pass on going home."

Namine laughed. "You just don't want to spend the whole day babysitting them, huh?" she teased.

"It's not on the top of my list of things I'd like to do, no," he replied. "However, I actually have a legitimate reason for not wanting to go home."

"Like what?"

Riku shifted slightly, seeming a tad uncomfortable. "Well, it's a stupid reason. You'll laugh…" he muttered.

Namine stared at him for a second, unsure of how to respond to that. Finally, she went with:

"If it's a stupid reason, why are you holding to it?"

He shrugged.

She raised her eyebrows. "Not going to tell me?"

"Like I said, you'll laugh," he said simply. "So, um, no."

Namine stared a bit more, then sighed and shook her head. It really was pointless to argue with him. Besides-

"Don't _you_ need to go back to Hollow Bastion, anyway?" she asked. "Aerith said she wanted to check on your hand…"

Riku frowned. "She did…?"

"I think so…"

He thought about it for a second. "Oh yeah… she did." He sighed, and then made a face. "Though, how do _you_ remember? You were having a meltdown!"

She shrugged.

He sighed and got to his feet.

"Right. I'll go to Hollow Bastion, then, and you take Joseph and Toby to the Islands."

Namine frowned up at him, and then rose to her feet, too. "You don't sound too thrilled by the idea…" she said, slowly.

"Well, I'm not crazy about being away from you," he replied. "But you want to take Joseph and Toby somewhere, and I don't want to go home. Besides, it'll only be for an hour or so. I think I can survive that long."

She laughed and took a second to fight back the blush that was threatening to form on her cheeks. "You sure?"she teased, but then shifted her gaze away from him. It was hard tease him when he was looking at her like that. "I mean, we could always… go somewhere else…" she muttered.

"Namine," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'll be fine. You go have fun."

She smiled, reached up and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. "Alright. You be careful," she said, then pushed his hand away from her shoulder.

He grinned that cocky and all-too-confident grin of his. "C'mon, what's the worst that can happen?" he laughed, then opened up a dark corridor behind him and stepped through.

Namine sighed, tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and then gathered up her sketchbook and pencils. Once she had everything, she walked over to Joseph, Toby, and 29. Joseph was still complaining, Toby didn't entirely look like he cared, and 29 seemed rather annoyed by this point.

She cleared her throat.

"Hello," Toby said, glancing up at her.

"Namine, I'm bored!" Joseph whined.

"Do you need anything, Namine?" 29 asked, his voice surprisingly even for the amount of annoyance on his face.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe I could take them somewhere," she said.

"Is Riku okay with this?" Joseph laughed.

Namine glared at him. "Of course he is."

Joseph breathed an extremely obviously fake sigh of relief. "Oh good, I wouldn't want him to-"

"Where do you plan on taking them?" 29 interrupted.

"Destiny Islands," Namine replied.

"Oh!" Joseph exclaimed. "I've-" He stopped rather suddenly, cast a hesitant glance at 29, and then said: "Always wanted to go there!" He laughed nervously.

29 threw him a look that suggested he didn't entirely believe him.

He shrugged. "What! They always talk about it! I'm curious!"

Namine chuckled.

"Is it okay if I take them?" she asked.

"Please," 29 said. "If you don't mind."

"I wouldn't be offering if I minded," Namine laughed, and then opened up a dark corridor. "C'mon then!" she said to Joseph and Toby, and then nodded to the dark corridor.

"Finally!" Joseph sighed, stepping through. "I have been _so_ bored!"

"I bet I've been boreder!" Toby argued, following.

Namine rolled her eyes and stepped through, too.

"It's not 'boreder'!" Joseph said. "It's 'more bored'! And I bet you haven't; you're _used_ to doing nothing for hours! I'm not!" He paused then, eyes widening at the view of the never-ending ocean. "Whoa…" he breathed.

Namine laughed and closed the dark corridor. "Surprised?"

"I knew there would be water…" Joseph said, slowly. "I mean, that's practically the definition of an island. I just…" he paused for a second. "I didn't realize the view would be so…"

Namine nodded, understanding. The view was pretty amazing. It was also one of the things she had yet to properly draw a picture of. She had trouble capturing the feel of the restless waves on paper. She turned to Toby, who was kneeling down, picking up sand and letting it run through his fingers.

"It's so… soft…" he muttered, and then glanced around. His eyes were wide as he took in every detail. Then, after he was done taking in the surroundings, he looked up at the sky, craning his neck until he fell over onto his back.

Joseph walked over and kicked him lightly in the side. "What, never seen the sky before?"

Toby shot what looked like a glare at Joseph.

Joseph laughed. "Only teasing!" he said. "Though, there _was_ a sky in Twilight Town."

"Doesn't count," Toby replied quickly. "It was all cloudy and dark and- I don't know, _weird_."

Joseph flopped down into the sand, looking up at the sky, too.

"Hey, maybe when the fiasco with the Rebellion's over with, I could convince 29 to let us move here," he suggested after a moment. "Then you could see the sky every day!" He laughed. "Man, I'd love to live on an island! You're lucky, Namine!"

Toby slowly sat up. He picked up a stick and doodled aimlessly in the sand, probably trying to hide his discomfort. "I don't think I'd want to _live_ here, Joseph," he said, quietly.

Joseph threw him an inquisitive look, but then his eyes widened in understanding. "Oh, the water, huh?"

"Pretty much my mortal enemy."

Namine chuckled slightly at that, and then closed her eyes, taking in the familiar feel of the only place she knew to be home. She could hear the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, a soothing sound, one she was sure she'd never get tired of hearing. She could feel the sand beneath her feet, already working its way into her shoes. She could feel the wind against her skin; that island wind that never seemed to stop blowing; and carried in the wind was the familiar smell of the salty ocean air.

She let out a deep breath.

_Home…_ she thought, slowly.

Even though she didn't plan on staying long, it certainly felt good to be back.

She didn't realize just how much she had missed the wind, and the waves, and even the sand. Maybe it was just the fact she had spent most of her time in Castle Oblivion recently, where there was nothing of that sort. Nothing but cold white walls. There wasn't even _time_ in Castle Oblivion.

_Speaking of time…_

Namine opened her eyes again, and glanced around.

Part of her reason for coming here was to see Kairi, because she felt like she should talk to her, and maybe apologize for leaving so suddenly. But, now that she thought about it, Kairi still had school, and she had no idea if Kairi was out of school by now; she had no idea what time it was. She didn't even know whether or not Kairi had school today, let alone what day it actually was.

She squinted up at the sun. It looked like it was past noon, but she couldn't tell if it was only an hour or something closer to four.

"Hey Joseph?" she called, turning to him. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Joseph paused in his swordfight with Toby (when they had started one Namine wasn't quite clear on) and squinted up at the sun. After a moment, he said: "Sometime past noon."

Namine grimaced.

"You're no help…" she muttered.

"You're welcome!" Joseph replied.

Namine frowned slightly. That wasn't technically a proper response to what she just said… However, she decided she wasn't going to worry about it, and sat down in the sand and pulled out her sketchbook and started drawing. She figured she'd just do what she originally intended to do and sit here for awhile while Joseph and Toby had their fun. If Kairi showed up in that time, cool, and, if not, she could always come back and talk to her later.


	105. On the Edge

I've given up on trying to keep my chapters short… really… sorry about inconsistent lengths, but sometimes people start spewing and I get nearly 3000 words, and other times I have to struggle and I hardly get 1000. If you're okay with that cool! I'll just try and not be too bothered about it… (dang OCD…)

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><p>"C'mon, what's the worst that can happen?" Riku laughed, forming a dark corridor behind him. He flashed a quick grin at Namine, and then stepped through.<p>

He emerged right on Aerith's doorstep. He grimaced slightly.

_Well… I was polite enough to use the front door this time,_ he thought with a slight laugh, and then knocked on the door.

There was a gap of silence, muffled sounds of commotion, what sounded like Cid shouting, a bit of arguing from Yuffie, and then finally the door opened. Riku was surprised to not find anyone he might have been expecting, but rather Sora. He gasped slightly, though it was more to do with the fact that Sora's face was heavily bandaged and not that he was shocked to see Sora here.

Not that he _wasn't _shocked to see Sora here.

But the bandages were a bit more shocking.

"What happened to you!"

Sora grimaced. "Long story. What are you doing here?"

Riku slowly held up his bandaged hand for Sora to see. Sora's eyes (well, eye, considering the other was heavily bandaged) widened slightly in shock.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Long story," Riku replied.

Sora stared for a second, and then sighed. "I got slashed in the face. There was darkness involved."

"I got stepped on. Broke all my fingers."

Sora winced sympathetically, then turned around and called into the house: "Aerith! Riku's here to see you!"

"He remembered!" Aerith exclaimed. She rushed over, and even though Sora was about to let Riku in, she shoved him aside, pulled Riku inside and then proceeded to fuss over his hand. "Does it still hurt? Have you had any problems? You weren't fighting, were you?"

"Uhh…" Riku blinked a few times at the overflow of questions.

"Here, Aerith, let me look."

Riku frowned. He didn't recognize that voice. His frowned deepened as someone (who he assumed was the owner of said voice) took his hand and started looking over it. She was probably about Aerith's age, and she had dark brown hair and eyes so rich a brown they were almost red.

"Sorry about Aerith," she said. "We had to give her coffee so she'd stay awake."

"Sorry-" Sora began as he made his way to the couch.

"Nonsense. It's her fault she refuses to take a nap!"

"It's the middle of the day!" Aerith protested.

"And?" Yuffie asked. Sora sat down next to her, and she threw a glance his way.

"I'm Tifa, by the way."

Riku glanced back at her, and then nodded. She smiled at him and then started unwinding the practically useless bandages from his hand.

"You… mentioned something about getting stepped on?" she asked.

He nodded again. "Yeah. Larxene Replica just being… a Larxene Replica." He made a face. "Well, okay, I think L is a bit worse than the rest of them. None of the others were smart enough to break my fingers or anything."

Tifa nodded. "Okay, so you got stepped on, bones crushed… what else?"

Riku frowned slightly at the question. "Well… she did drive a knife through my hand to keep me pinned to the ground."

Tifa didn't even wince. "Thought it might be something like that," she said. She felt his hand for a moment more before letting go of it and nodding with approval. "Aerith did a nice job healing you up. Still a bit of damage that hasn't healed yet, but it should be fine as long as you don't strain your hand." She narrowed her eyes at him. "You haven't been fighting, have you?"

He grimaced. "Well…"

Tifa rolled her eyes. "Just like Cloud," she muttered, and then sighed. "Alright, how much damage did you do?"

Assuming that "damage" referred to "fighting" and how much damage had been done to his hand, Riku replied: "Well, not a lot. I can put up a decent fight left-handed, so I didn't _really_ use my right hand or anything…" he trailed off, not liking the look Tifa was giving him.

"I didn't really have a choice!" he explained frantically. "Everyone was just like 'oh, we're going to raid Saix's Computer Room now' and I _tried_ to bail out of it, but then Amaryllis got all weird and I was practically dragged along. Even so, I didn't do a lot of fighting. I spent most of my time blocking bullets…"

Tifa raised her eyebrows. "So you _didn't_ use your right hand?" she asked, though the way she asked suggested that she already knew the answer.

He shifted uncomfortably, not really liking the look she was giving him. "Well… I did grab L by the hood of her cloak," he admitted, but then quickly added: "But it was such a _perfect_ opportunity, I really couldn't let it pass me by, and, besides, my plan would've _worked _too, if Xigbar's stupid clone hadn't been shooting bullets at me…"

Sora frowned.

"I've missed something…" he muttered.

Riku threw him a look.

"You _think_? Ever since you've left I've had to deal with every piece of crap that Saix feels like throwing at me, and then there's stupid L. I hate her, I wish I could kill her, but _oh no_, 37 has to be in the way every time I even get a _chance_." He grimaced at the thought. "Please, Sora, you haven't missed anything at all."

Sora stared for a moment. "I could've done without the sarcasm," he said finally.

"Might want to avoid making him angry, too," Yuffie added. "Things might get ugly."

Riku frowned, a bit confused.

"I'm not the only one who's missed things, Riku," Sora said quietly. "You… don't know who my Shadow is, do you?" He looked up at Riku, and Riku shuddered slightly, as the look was a tad unnerving. Sora's heavily bandaged face was completely serious, if not a bit grim; not what Riku was used to seeing on Sora.

"The subject… might have come up," he replied slowly. He could vaguely remember something being mentioned, but he couldn't really remember any specific details.

"That's a no, then," Sora said.

Riku nodded.

"Oh, don' worry," Cid called from the kitchen. "You'll probably find out who he is before the day is out!"

Riku frowned. "Hmm?"

Sora shifted uncomfortably.

"He's just been a bother, that's all," Aerith said.

"'Bother' is an understatement…" Sora muttered, his voice a tad bitter. "I mean, he's the only reason you guys were up all last night, plus-"

"Sora," Tifa interrupted firmly. "Feeling bad about it-"

"Will only make it worse, I know. But he made me do it to you and Aerith last night, and then it was Leon this morning…" Sora trailed off.

Riku made a face. He wasn't following this at all. "Do… what?" he asked, slowly.

"My luck, you'll find out any minute now," Sora replied, bitterly.

Tifa sighed. "Sora, remember what I said?" she asked, calmly. "As soon as you feel it coming, you just need to stop whatever you're doing and focus on blocking him out."

"That's my problem!" Sora snapped, rising to his feet. "I _don't_ feel it coming! It just- it just happens! And as soon as it starts, I can't stop it! I'm just- stuck. Trapped in his will. I can't control it."

"Then start learning how to control it," Tifa replied, not at all softening to his outburst. "And start learning to listen for it, too." She turned and headed to the kitchen before Sora could say anymore.

"No need to make him angry!" Yuffie called after her.

"No need for that, either," Aerith said, frowning at Yuffie.

Sora sat back down and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." He slowly curled his fingers into a fist. "I- I just can't-"

Aerith smacked his hands away from his face. "Stop that! You'll ruin the bandages again."

He opened his mouth to say something, but Yuffie cut him off.

"Stop apologizing, too," she said. "It's getting annoying."

Sora slowly closed his mouth.

Riku sat down on the couch across from him, a bit hesitantly. "I… guess it's not a good idea to ask about what happened to your face, then…" he said. He started to lean back, but then decided it wasn't comfortable, and so leaned forward instead, folding his hands together in his lap.

"Well, you don't know who my Shadow-"

"Let me guess," Riku interrupted. "He's a jerk, pain in the butt, and from the label 'your Shadow' I'm assuming his some form of your darkness. That, or I'm remembering something."

Aerith frowned slightly. "Didn't we discuss this with you?" she asked.

Riku shrugged. "Maybe… I don't remember."

"How can you not remember?" Yuffie demanded. "That was less than a week ago!"

"A lot's happened since then," Riku replied casually. "I mean, doesn't it _seem _like a lot more time has passed, or something?"

"Hmm, I guess it does…" Aerith agreed.

Sora mumbled a barely audible "yes".

"Well, that's because a lot of crap _has_ happened," Yuffie said. "Since then, Cloud left, you left, you came back, you left again, and then Tifa showed up, and- oh! That's right, those-"

Aerith threw a glance at her, silencing her.

Yuffie blinked a few times in confusion.

"What?" she asked, not seeming to understand why Aerith had silenced her.

Aerith sighed and then quickly whispered a few things in Yuffie's ear. A couple of confused looks and nods over in Riku's direction, Yuffie finally got it. She nodded, closed her mouth, and said nothing more. Aerith sighed and headed to the kitchen.

"I'll go get some drinks…" she muttered.

Riku leaned forward a bit more. "You didn't happen to hear any of that, did you?" he asked, keeping his voice low. Sora leaned closer, and then shook his head.

They both cast glances over at Yuffie. She seemed pretty intent on not saying anything.

"Did you hear anything?" Sora asked.

"No," Riku replied.

That was, of course, a lie. Thanks to the excellent hearing that Vexen had decided to program him with, he had actually heard a good portion of what Aerith had said. He didn't quite understand it, but considering he shouldn't have technically heard it, it would be weird to ask.

He sighed and leaned back. Sure, the excellent hearing was handy in some situations, but he really did hate hearing things when he wasn't supposed to hear them.

He turned the things Aerith had said over in his mind a couple of times. First she had told Yuffie that it would be bad to mention whatever Yuffie had started to mention. Then she had said something along the lines of "We can't be sure of how he'll react." That sentence had been accompanied by a nod in his direction, so whatever it was had something to do with him. Yuffie had then frowned in confusion, still not getting it, and Aerith asked: "Don't you remember what she said?"

He didn't know who Aerith meant by "she", but just mulling over the thought sent chills down his spine. He dropped the subject.

"You still haven't explained what happened to you," he said, glancing up at Sora.

Sora rolled his eyes. (Well, Riku assumed he did. He only actually saw one eye roll, but he was pretty sure that it was impossible to roll only one eye.)

"My Shadow got pissed and attacked me," he explained simply, and then frowned. "I think." He rubbed his head. "No… hang on… he was being, well, himself, and then he started getting upset about something, and I felt kind of bad for him-" He glared. "Then he attacked me." He nodded, satisfied, then grimaced and added: "I think."

Riku raised his eyebrows.

"You think?"

Sora groaned and rubbed his head again. "It's all kind of blurry," he muttered. "I can't quite remember any exact details about it." He groaned again, but this time it sounded more like it was out of frustration.

"Something wrong?" Yuffie asked.

"I'm- I'm forgetting something-" Sora said, frantically, clutching his head now. "Something really important. What was it!"

Yuffie slapped his hands away from his head. "Aerith said stop that!"

"Be quiet!" Sora snapped. "I- I have to remember what it was. It was important, I- I promised- I- Ug! What did I promise?" His eyes were squeezed shut, and he looked like he was going to start pounding on his head in attempts to jog his memory.

Riku reached over and grabbed Sora by the shoulder, firmly. "Can you remember anything before that?" he asked. "Try and focus on the events leading up to what you're trying remember."

Sora nodded. "I, uh, I was at this castle, and there were Heartless…" he said, slowly. "Then, um, I saved Belle from one of those… Snapper Dogs or whatever they are… and then- then the Beast attacked me, and there was someone from Organization 13, and-"

Riku's eyes widened in shock at mention of the Organization, but he figured now wasn't a good time to ask Sora about it.

"And then-" Sora gasped. "Then the Organization member tried to frame me, and- and, uh, and there was- there-" It sounded like it was killing him to get the words out. "There was a bunch of Heartless, and- and then a giant one- no. No. Before that. Something before that." He gritted his teeth in concentration. "The Heartless were- they were crushing me, and then- then someone- someone saved me. I think. Someone… someone… who was it?"

Aerith walked back into the room, carrying a tray of drinks. "I brought-"

"Shh," Riku interrupted, throwing a glance at her. "You'll distract him."

He had a bad feeling that even what he said had distracted Sora. Sora was muttering something about a nightmare right now, though he was having even more trouble getting words out. Obviously, he was getting close to what he couldn't remember, and whatever had made him forget it in the first place was trying to make sure he _wouldn't_ remember.

"Nightmare, nightmare, childhood nightmare," Sora muttered. "I was fighting- fighting with someone else. Someone- someone who- who saved me? I- I was fighting with- with- was I fighting with someone?" His face was contorted slightly in pain now. "It was… the Beast- no. No, he was- he was injured. Belle had to drag him off. I was fighting with- with someone else- someone, someone, Keyblade, monster- Keyblade! Keyblade, Keyblade, Keyblade…."

"What's he-" Aerith began.

"Trying to remember something, I think," Yuffie replied.

"Shh!" Riku snapped.

Sora groaned again in frustration. "He had a Keyblade, he- he was- he- my Shadow- no. No no. Why did- Keyblade. Keyblade, Keyblade, Keyblade. He- star shard, no. No. Um… Mickey!" He opened his eyes, smiling slightly in relief. "I promised I wouldn't give up and let the darkness have me."

"There you go," Riku said, letting go of him. He nodded, breathing heavily.

"Here," Aerith said, forcing a glass into Sora's hands and forcing him to take a drink. She set the rest of the drinks down on the coffee table.

Riku frowned slightly, picking up his glass. "What is this?" he asked.

"Orange juice," Aerith replied.

He took a drink, and then quickly set the glass down and did his best not to gag. Yuffie laughed.

"What, never had orange juice before?"

He shot a glare at her, and she stopped laughing.

"Orange juice isn't for everyone, Yuffie," Aerith said firmly, picking up Riku's glass. "You want something else?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"You sure?"

"I'm fine."

Aerith headed back to the kitchen.

"I just washed that!" Cid shouted.

Tifa walked out, rolling her eyes. She threw the towel she had over her shoulder and leaned against the wall. "What was that about Sora having trouble remembering something?" she asked.

"I couldn't remember that I promised Mickey that I- umm…" Sora blinked a few times in shock. "That- that I wouldn't give up and let the darkness win. That was it. I promised I wouldn't give up…"

Tifa's eyes narrowed with concern, and Yuffie looked confused again.

"Why can't he remember?" she asked.

"The darkness doesn't want him to."

Everyone turned to Leon, who was making his way down the stairs. He shrugged. "Seems logical, doesn't it?"

"And worrisome…" Tifa added.

"Why don't we talk about something else?" Riku said, not liking the frantic look on Sora's face.

"Like?" Sora asked.

Riku shrugged, got to his feet, stretched. "I've got a ton of crap I can rant about. Trust me, you've missed _a lot_!"

"Any particular reason you're standing?" Yuffie asked.

"Been sitting still too long," he replied.

Yuffie made a face, but then rose to her feet, too, and leaned against a nearby wall. Only Sora was still sitting.

"You mentioned something about someone called Amaryllis," Tifa said. "I'm curious to hear more about that."

Riku nodded, made his way to the other side of the couch, where there was enough room that he could start pacing if he needed to. He was feeling fidgety all of a sudden. "Well, he's a Marluxia Replica," he began, but then Yuffie snorted. He glared at her.

"Sorry, that sounds like a girl's name…" she muttered.

"It is a flower, isn't it?" Aerith asked, grabbing the towel from Tifa. "I'm going to help Cid finish the dishes," she explained.

"I can-"

"It's fine."

"All the Marluxia Replicas are named after plants," Riku said with a slight shrug. He frowned. He had lost his train of thought. Amaryllis… Amaryllis was… "Oh, there wasn't much about Amaryllis," he told Tifa. "He was just freaking out because I didn't want to help and I'm apparently the best fighter in Castle Oblivion." He laughed then. "It's funny. I come here and I'm the strongest fighter. But back in the other universe, that is so not true. Both Sora, the parallel Sora, and Real Thing could beat the crud out of me." He chuckled.

"You sound so… not bothered by that…" Sora said.

Riku shrugged. "Why be bothered? It's true."

"But doesn't it bug you," Sora continued. "The fact that you're in his shadow? The fact that you've never been anything more than his shadow?"

"Oh no…" Aerith sighed.

Leon groaned and rubbed his head.

"Not again!" Yuffie moaned.

"What are you-" Riku began.

"Don't provoke him, Riku," Tifa said. "It'll only make it worse."

"Make what-"

"You're still his shadow, and that's all you'll ever be, Riku," Sora said, and it almost sounded like he was laughing as he did so.

Riku frowned, trying to fight back the anger that was festering inside of him. "That's not true!" he shouted, and then turned away. "No- I- No. It doesn't matter. I don't care. I don't care about that!"

"Stop takin' the bait, kid!" Cid called.

"Try and tune him out, if you can," Leon suggested. "He'll stop as soon as you stop reacting."

Riku nodded, and then turned his back to Sora and found a spot on the wall to concentrate on. It wouldn't be too hard to block everything out, he had done it many times before, usually as a tactic to ignore Larxene. All he had to do was concentrate-

"No, you don't care about him, do you?" Sora sighed.

Concentrate on one particular-

"You care about her."


	106. Awakening the Beast

**Update Feb 2014: **Can't Escape ch45-48 happen around this time, if you're curious. (It explains what's Shad up to right now, but also involves some of Magik's characters, so if you're one of those readers who wants to avoid the crossovers... don't read? Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say.)

* * *

><p>"You care about her."<p>

His heart came to a sickening halt in his chest. It felt like he had just been hit with a ton of bricks. He took a few breaths, trying to calm himself down. It was hard, though, when there were so many emotions running wild through his heart.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said through clenched teeth.

Sora laughed. "Yes you do! You're cringing at the thought!"

Riku grimaced, as he was cringing. He took a few more breaths.

"You'll stop there if you know what's good for you," he said, slowly, fighting to keep his voice even.

Sora chuckled, darkly. "It still hurts, doesn't it?" he asked, voice dripping with amusement. "Because you still-"

"Shut up!" Riku roared, rounding on him, gripping the back of the couch to steady himself.

"And she never-"

"I said shut up!"

Sora was nearly rolling with laughter, the grin on his face sick with enjoyment. "Such ferocity!" he said. "How many times have you roared that, Riku? How many times have you told someone to shut up, because you couldn't stand to have them remind you of your pain?"

"It's not true!" Riku snapped, his voice catching. He knew that it was true. But if he could just deny it-

"You _cringe_ at the mere mention of her!" Sora laughed. "You _cringe!_"

"Just shut up!"

Someone might have been yelling at him, but he couldn't hear them. All he could hear was Sora.

"Riku loves the Memory Witch!" Sora taunted in a sing-song voice. "Riku loves-"

"Don't call her that!" Riku screamed. White hot fury was stirring inside of him, and it wasn't long before his blade was in his hand. Someone else might have screamed, but their voice was a blur to his ears. "Take it back!" he demanded, launching himself at Sora.

Someone caught him from behind, restraining him. He struggled against their grasp as hard as he could, not really caring if they got hurt or not. It didn't matter to him. "Take it back!" he screamed again.

"How much does it hurt, Riku?" Sora laughed. "How much does it hurt?"

Yuffie was yelling at Sora now, though Riku was too angry to hear or care what she was saying. He took a second to see who was restraining him, and was a bit surprised to find Leon there. He grunted and then wrenched himself out of Leon's grasp and threw himself at Sora. He overturned the couch Sora was sitting in, and then he had Sora pinned to the ground, his blade at his throat.

"Does that anger you?" Sora continued, not even fazed. "Or does it just hurt too much?"

Riku was too angry to reply. He didn't care, anyways. Yuffie shouted something at Sora, and then she kicked him rather hard in the side. Sora didn't even flinch.

"She never cared about you," he said, slowly, grinning, eyes (well, eye) focused only on Riku. "She never looked your way twice. She always cared about someone else. Someone else was always first on her list. Hah! I doubt you were even _on_ her list! You were just an afterthought."

"That's not true!" Riku protested. His grip on Sora faltered, though, and he was fighting back tears.

Sora laughed, clearly amused. "Oh, that's right! She was using-"

"No she wasn't!" Riku roared, regaining his grip on Sora.

"Then why did she-"

"She didn't have a choice. The Organization forced-"

"She could've said no!"

Riku stopped, stunned. He was so stunned, that Leon had no trouble grabbing him and pulling him away from Sora. He dropped his blade, and it clattered uselessly to the ground before disappearing.

Sora grinned and pushed himself up so he could look at Riku better.

"The thought never occurred to you, did it?"

"She was too scared," Riku whispered. "The Organization was ruthless; even _I_ was scared. And if she stepped out of line-" He turned away, biting back tears. "The crap the Organization did to me pales in comparison to what they would've done to her if she refused them."

"She refused them to protect-"

"I don't care!"

"How can you not hate her!" Sora demanded, and he sounded almost appalled now. "That witch has given you every reason to!"

"Stop it!" Riku screamed, trying to launch himself at Sora again. Leon's grip on him tightened, though, and he didn't have the energy to try and break free.

"She _shattered_ you!" Sora still sounded slightly appalled, but amusement was quickly overriding it. "And you're _protecting_ her? Even though she took your heart, shaped it to her liking, and then broke it the moment you stepped out of line? How can you still have feelings for that bi-"

"Shut your damn mouth!" Cid shouted.

"Cid!" Aerith gasped.

"Like what he was gonna say was any better!"

The room slowly faded into silence. Sora had stopped talking, but Riku hardly cared. He was too busy focusing on _not_ crying. Sora or his Shadow or whoever it was, their words stung. He was angry; angry at Sora, and yet upset because he knew he _shouldn't_ be. And on top of that, he was angry at himself.

"I hate this!" he shouted. He winced after saying it, though; he hadn't really meant to. A sob tore itself from his lips after that, and he covered his face with his hands, hoping to hide the tears that he couldn't fight back. Leon let go of him, and he fell to his knees.

"I- I'm sorry-" Sora stammered, but Riku didn't dare look up at him. "Riku, I- I swear I- I didn't mean-" He sounded frantic, almost scared.

Someone, maybe it was Tifa, said something, Riku didn't quite care _what_, and Sora stopped talking.

Someone grabbed him by the shoulders then, though Riku didn't honestly care who it was. He flinched away, ashamed.

"I- I'm not crying!" he gasped, internally cursing himself for how shaky his voice was. "I'm not- I'm not weak!"

"No one said you were," Aerith said, gently. She grabbed him by the shoulders again. "Are you alright?"

"I- I'm fine," he said, fighting to keep his voice steady. "I'm fine." He looked up then, though there were still tears in his eyes. He didn't wipe them away, so that he wouldn't draw attention to them. "I just overreacted, that's all. I'm fine."

He was lying.

He wasn't fine.

But they didn't need to know that.

"Overreacted, huh?" Cid laughed, not sounding convinced. Aerith shot a glare in his direction.

"It's alright, Riku," Leon said, kneeling down next to him. "I overreacted, too."

Riku glanced over at him, a bit surprised. He couldn't imagine Leon overreacting to anything. He turned away then, eyes narrowing slightly in anger. It's not like it mattered. He knew that there was no way Leon had "overreacted" like he did.

And maybe that's why he was so upset.

Because he hadn't changed. In the time he had been here, he really hadn't changed at all. He was still the broken, angry Replica who threw himself into battle without thinking twice about who he was fighting or what the consequences might be. He still got angry the moment someone insulted her, and he didn't wait to attack, either. He still _cringed_ at the mention of her. The thought of her still _hurt._

It had been eight, maybe even nine months now.

Shouldn't he be over this?

"Can I... ask who-" Leon began.

"Don't ask," Sora said, quickly. "Just- just don't ask."

Riku frowned slightly in confusion, but he was grateful anyway. He didn't want to have to explain it himself. He'd much rather just forget about the whole thing right now.

Maybe he could ignore it for a while longer…

If Leon was confused, he didn't show it, and he didn't ask any further.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Aerith asked. Riku turned back at her. She looked worried.

He quickly nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"It's okay to _not_ be okay," Tifa said. She sounded worried, too, but there was something else in her voice, something that Riku couldn't quite place.

Aerith smiled at him.

"It's also okay to not want to talk about it," she said, and then got to her feet and walked away. After a moment, Leon got up, too. Only Riku and Sora were still sitting on the floor.

Sora moved closer to Riku, though he seemed a bit hesitant about.

"I'm sorry," he said, not quite looking at Riku. "I guess I really should try harder to sense when it's coming, I…" he trailed off. "You're okay, right?"

Riku grunted, knowing that Sora would take it as a yes. Maybe Sora would realize it wasn't entirely _firm_ yes, but Riku didn't have the strength to keep lying to everyone. He was pouring most of his strength into controlling his tears and ignoring the festering hurt that was inside of him.

"I hope it's okay that I told Leon to not ask," Sora said, quietly. "I don't want to embarrass you or anything, but I just…" His voice got even quieter. "I saw what my Shadow was thinking, while he made me say all that. I- I know exactly why he said what he said-"

Riku swallowed.

_ He knows…_ he thought, slowly.

The hurt was festering inside of him again, and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to contain it.

Because, for some reason, the fact that Sora knew- that Sora understood his hurt-

He burst into tears, much to his dismay. He clutched himself tightly, curling up into as small of a ball as he possibly could. He tried desperately to fight the tears back and get his sobs back under control, to little avail.

_I hate this!_ he thought, angrily, very much wishing he could punch something. _I hate this I hate his I hate this! I hate feeling like this! I hate feeling so- so-_

"Riku?" Sora asked. "Riku, I'm sorry. What did I say? I- I'm sorry-"

_Oh just shut up,_ Riku thought, bitterly. _Just shut up Sora. I don't need your apologies._

_ I just need the pain to go away…_

_ I shouldn't hurt this much anymore…_

_ I shouldn't hurt at all!_

_ I thought I was over this- I thought I was through with crying-_

Someone placed a hand on his shoulder, a touch he thought he recognized as Aerith's. He scrambled away from her, turning away, still fighting to get his tears under control.

_Just leave me alone. I swear, I'll be fine in a minute. I just-_

"Riku-"

"Just leave me alone!" he said, though he had a feeling it came out as more of a shout. He found it hard to care, though.

_Gosh, I hate this. I hate being this way. I hate it._

"Do you want anything?" Aerith asked. "I can get you some tea, or-"

"I'm fine," Riku replied.

_I want my corner... I want to cry where no one can see me… I want this to stop…_

The tears were still pouring down his cheeks, but he had stopped sobbing at least. His stomach felt like it was in knots, though, and there was a throbbing in his chest. Plus, to make things worse, his eyes hurt from all the crying, and his nose was running.

_I hate crying… I hate it I hate it I hate it._

He wiped his eyes, and then his nose, and then wiped his hand on his pants.

_ Stop crying, Riku,_ he told himself. _Crying doesn't solve anything. It only makes you look weak. You can't afford to be weak. You have to be strong._

"Jus' leave the kid alone," he could hear Cid say, though he had no idea who Cid was talking to. "We don' have to bother him."

_You know it's pointless to cry over something that doesn't matter,_ Riku continued, ignoring the rest of what Cid said and whoever might have argued against him. He thought he might have heard Sora.

_And THIS doesn't matter._

_ You're a universe away from her now. You have your OWN life, and she's not a part of it._

_ Besides, it's not like she ever cared about you. Why should you care about her?_

That thought hurt, just a bit, and he felt awful for thinking it. But… he was able to use the thought to at least shove all the rest of the pain aside where it would stay until he could deal with it later. He managed to get his tears back under control after that, and then took a few deep breaths to calm himself down and wiped his eyes again.

"I'm fine now," he muttered, for anyone who might be listening. "I swear, I'm fine."

His hand clenched into a fist, as if he expected something to be there for him to hold. His hand only closed around empty air, but he didn't seem to notice. He didn't even seem to notice that he made the gesture in the first place.


	107. It's Been a While

"Hey, Namine, how long has it been?" Joseph asked, walking over to her. She glanced up, frowning slightly.

"I don't know, about twenty mintues or so," she replied. "Why?"

"Well, I just figured Riku might get all upset if you're-"

"Really?" she asked in disbelief, fighting back the blush that was rising to her cheeks.

Joseph snickered.

Toby rolled his eyes, obviously not amused by this either. "Really," he said, sitting down next to Namine. He glanced over her shoulder at the picture she was drawing. "Hey," he laughed. "That's us!"

Namine nodded, looking back down at the picture and then fixing a smudge. It was a picture of Toby and Joseph in the middle of a sword fight.

"You're really good at drawing," Toby told her.

She smiled. "Thanks," she muttered, then looked up at Joseph. "And to your question about Riku..." she said, and then quickly flipped back two pages in her sketchbook to the picture of Riku and Sora in Hollow Bastion she had drawn earlier. She took care to not even let Joseph catch a glimpse of the picture that was between the two. Riku had Sora pinned to the ground in that one, and she didn't want him asking questions about it. Plus, she didn't really want to dwell on it, either…

The thoughts that accompanied the picture hurt…

And if she wasn't careful, she just might trigger a meltdown or something.

"Well, that might give us _some_ time," Joseph said, looking at the picture, which showed Riku and Sora talking in Hollow Bastion. He still sounded as if he were teasing. Maybe. "But, it's not like Riku and Sora will talk _forever_, they'll probably only talk for-"

"We'll be fine," Namine sighed. Her mind flickered over the other picture she had drawn, taking a second to wonder briefly what it was about. She considered the fact that it was something that might have happened in one of Riku's memories, but the Hollow Bastion she had drawn sure seemed like the Hollow Bastion she knew.

Plus, it _felt_ like something that Riku was doing… or… whatever…

She'd just have to ask Riku about it later.

"Is that Sora?" Toby asked, pointing.

Namine nodded.

"Why is his face all bandaged? Did he get hurt or something?"

Namine shrugged. "I don't know," she told him. "Well, he probably did, but I'm not sure how. I'll ask Riku about it when I see him, how about that? Okay?"

Toby nodded and then got to his feet. He tugged on Joseph's shirt. "Hey, Joseph," he said. "You said we were gonna go explore. Can we go explore now?"

"I have a better idea," Joseph said. "Why don't we go to Hollow Bastion? I want to see Sora! I need to yell at him for _ditching_ me, plus, I have something else to tell him…"

Namine frowned, thinking about the other picture she had drawn.

If that had happened recently, or was happening, or- whatever, she wasn't sure if they should be going there. It might not be a pleasant situation to find themselves in.

"It might be better if we don't…" Namine said, slowly. She braced herself for the stream of questions that Joseph was sure to ask her.

"But, I want to see Sora!" he whined. "Why is it a bad idea to-"

"Namine?" someone called.

Namine turned around, a bit confused, but then grinned when she saw who it was. "Kairi!" she exclaimed, quickly flipping back to the picture of Joseph and Toby. "I was wondering if you'd be coming!"

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Kairi said, smiling apologetically.

"It's fine," Namine assured her. "I have absolutely no idea what time it is right now, so I was pretty much prepared to sit here for a couple hours until you got out of school or something."

"It's Saturday…"

"Of course it's Saturday."

"Hi Kairi!" Joseph called.

Kairi smiled. "Hi Joseph," she said.

Namine frowned, confused. She stared at Kairi, then turned to Joseph, then looked back at Kairi again. "You two know each other?"

Joseph nodded, then laughed. "Remember when I told 29 that I had always wanted to come here or whatever? Yeah, um, I was just covering up for the fact that I _started_ to say that I had already been here before."

Namine nodded. That made sense.

"I'm Toby," Toby said. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably and then stared down at his toes. "I figured I'd introduce myself, because you guys all seem to know each other and-"

"Nice to meet you," Kairi interrupted. "I know you already know, but I'm Kairi."

There was silence for a moment, and then Toby frowned.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Kairi frowned, too.

"Yeah…" she said slowly. "I'm okay."

"You don't _look_ okay…"

Joseph grabbed Toby's hand. "I think that's enough, Toby," he muttered, starting to drag him off. "You wanted to go exploring, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah, but-" Toby protested. "She looks sad… I just want to know why-"

"I had a rough week of school, that's all," Kairi explained. "It's nothing."

"What's 'school'?" Toby asked. Joseph rolled his eyes and dragged him off, muttering something about explaining it.

Kairi slowly sat down next to Namine.

"Listen, Kairi," Namine said. "I'm sorry about-"

"You found Riku, didn't you?" Kairi interrupted.

Namine blinked a few times, and then smiled. "Yeah."

Kairi nodded. "Then there's no apology needed," she said, quietly. "I know you want to be where he is."

Namine was silent for a moment, not entirely sure how to respond to that. She couldn't argue with it, but she still felt bad about leaving Kairi. From the sounds of things, though, Kairi wasn't going to accept any apology, let alone even acknowledge that one was needed. Namine decided to just let it go and instead said:

"You mentioned having a rough week at school…"

Kairi shrugged.

"School's just as boring as heck," she explained. "And the only thing to distract me from my boredom is Selphie's constant attempts to find me a date for the school dance that I'm not going to."

Namine frowned.

"What… school dance?" she asked, a bit confused. She couldn't remember a school dance being announced.

Kairi sighed.

"Namine… you've been gone for nearly a month now."

"Omigosh, Kairi, I'm sorry!" Namine gasped. "Time doesn't really actually pass in Castle Oblivion. If I had known-"

"Namine, I already said it's fine," Kairi interrupted. "It's a bit quieter than I'm used to, but, really, that's no surprise…" she trailed off.

Namine didn't entirely follow what she meant, but she had a feeling that it had something to do with Sora. She quietly turned to a new page, as inspiration for a picture came to her.

"I'm sorry about Selphie," she said, slowly, starting the basic outline.

Kairi shook her head. "It's my fault for telling her that I was going, even though I plan on faking sick when the time comes. And don't apologize for it being quiet or anything. I'm managing."

Namine frowned as another image came to mind. She quickly finished the basic outline of the picture she was currently working on so she wouldn't forget what she was drawing when she came back to it later and then turned to a blank page and started on the new picture.

"How's your life been?" Kairi asked.

Namine paused in her drawing, fixed a mistake, and replied: "Not quiet in the slightest." She laughed, and then sighed. It wasn't going to be very easy to explain everything that had happened in Castle Oblivion during this past month. There was a lot that had happened. "What did Joseph tell you when he was here?" she asked.

"He gave me a basic idea of what was going on," Kairi said. "But, really, Namine, I just asked how you were, not for your life story! Tell me whatever you want. What's the most exciting thing that's happened? Most annoying? Talk about Riku, I don't care!"

Namine giggled.

"Well, I guess the most exciting thing that's happened is nearly getting kidnapped and then a Larxene Replica breaking all of Riku's fingers."

"_All_ of them?" Kairi asked, surprised.

"Well, all on one hand," Namine clarified. "It was his right hand, too."

"Bet he loved that," Kairi laughed.

"They haven't healed yet," Namine said, smiling slightly, though she wasn't entirely sure _why_. It wasn't that she was happy about it or anything, but… "He's… managing."

Maybe it was just amusing, in some… odd way…

"Speaking Riku, where is he?" Kairi asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"Oh, he had to go to Hollow Bastion," Namine explained. "Aerith wanted to make sure his hand was healing okay." She paused a second, and then added: "I think he ran into Sora there. I- I drew a picture of them together in Hollow Bastion a bit ago."

Kairi only nodded, slowly. "Really now?" she muttered, doodling a picture in the sand with her finger. Namine frowned slightly, worried and confused. Kairi couldn't have possibly sounded any less interested in the mater. Namine assumed she'd be at least somewhat curious, if not ecstatic, to hear about Sora.

And yet… Kairi was acting like she wanted nothing to do with him.

"Is… something wrong?"

Kairi shook her head.

"No. Nothing's wrong."

Namine made a face. That certainly didn't _sound_ like nothing to her, but she let it go.

They sat in silence for a bit. Kairi scuffed out whatever it was that she had drawn in the sand. Namine glanced down at her own picture, which she just finished. It was a picture of two silhouettes sitting watching the sunset. One of them was, she was certain, Kairi. The other looked like it might have been Sora, but she had a feeling that it might not be…

She turned back to the picture she had been working on before.

"Naamiineeee!" Toby called, storming over. Joseph was quick on his heels, looking about ready to protest. When they came closer she noticed that Toby was completely covered in sand. She gasped and set her sketchbook aside-

Kairi was already there, helping brush him off.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"Joseph pushed me!" Toby replied.

"It was an accident, I swear!" Joseph protested. "I didn't _seriously _mean to-"

"Uh-huh, yeah," Toby said. "It _hurt _too much to be an accident."

"You're fine, though," Kairi told him. "Maybe a bit scraped, but not much more. You'll be okay."

"I think I got sand in my pants…"

Namine sighed, then, itching to draw a different picture, turned to a blank page.

It wasn't long before the image of Sora and Riku fighting Heartless was filling the emptiness.


	108. Unleashing the Beast

Quick few notes! For starters, sorry I haven't updated! Been distracted (finishing TTYD, puking, and trying to cure some writer's block).

Anyway, first off, there's a short little chapter in ASAS (ch17) that you guys might want to check out. There was also an equally short blog about it. Following that there was an incredibly long blog post on the crossover magik just finished posting, then a journal dump.

I think that was it.

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><p><em>I hate this…<em> Riku thought, plunging his blade through the "heart" of one of the Heartless. _I hate feeling like this, I hate that I haven't managed to stop crying, and I hate-_

His stomach turned. He swallowed, trying to push the feeling away.

He drove his blade through another Heartless, hoping maybe that it would help.

It didn't. Not really.

"Sora, you really shouldn't-"

"Aerith, he'll be fine! Besides, if he's going to have damaged eyesight in one eye _permanently_, he might as well get used to it."

"But-"

"Aerith, why don't you go take a nap? You're looking tired."

Riku didn't hear much more after that, nor did he really care. It didn't involve him. He _did_ notice Yuffie dragging Aerith back into the house, but nothing really after that.

"Riku! Look after Sora!"

Well. He did hear_ that._

He grunted. Sora ran up next to him and started taking out Heartless. His aim was terrible. But, Riku figured _his_ would be, too, if he could only see out of one eye.

He angrily took out _another_ Heartless. This one appeared to be some special brand of… something… soldier, maybe? Riku really didn't care. All he cared about was that it was there, it was in his way, and it needed a lot of pummeling to die.

Perfect way to vent some anger.

He brought his blade down _hard_ on its head, smashing it to the ground. It died nearly instantly.

He turned to the next closest Heartless and continued slaughtering.

He really wanted his corner…

He could feel tears forming in his eyes again, though he couldn't tell just _why_.

_Hate it hate it hate it,_ he thought, slashing his blade to the rhythm. The Heartless he was attacking died, but another one came up behind him and attacked him. He gasped slightly, half in pain, but mainly in anger. He turned on it, prepared to strike, when Sora attacked it.

Sora nearly missed and hit him instead.

Riku felt like shouting at him, but he refrained from doing so.

Barely.

"C'mon," he grunted, instead. "Let's head to a different area. They've got this covered."

Sora voiced something that he figured was agreement, and took to be nothing more. He started heading off in a random direction, driving his blade through Heartless as he went. The smaller ones died. He didn't want to waste time trying to kill the larger ones. Most of them were Defenders, anyway, and they were a pain in the butt to get rid of. Someone else could take care of them.

"Riku." Sora said.

Riku ignored him.

"Riku!" Sora grabbed him by the arm. He glared.

"What?" he grunted.

"We- we've gathered quite a bit of Heartless," Sora said, slowly, pulling his hand away. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "They've been following is for a bit now… we should, y'know, take care of-"

"Got it," Riku interrupted, attacking a Heartless that had been bothering him for a while.

He really didn't want to stop moving, though.

He wanted to get far enough out that he could maybe sit and cry for a while.

Of course… that required losing Sora somewhere…

_Stop with the crying already!_ he scolded himself, kicking one of the Heartless – a regular soldier – in the gut. It went flying. He didn't see it again, and assumed it had died. _It really is pointless! You are OVER her!_

It was hard to think it, but he had to. If he thought it again, maybe he could delude himself into believing it.

_You don't care about her anymore, and you don't need to!_

It really was torture.

He took out all his pain and frustration on the Heartless. It wasn't long before the area was cleared.

Well, except one Darkball. Sora killed it, though.

"Area's cleared," Riku grunted. "Let's keep moving."

They couldn't have gone much more than ten steps before another batch of Heartless showed up. Riku scowled, but started attacking. Sora tried to take a couple out with Fire, but his aim was terrible.

"Better get used to aiming with that one eye you have pretty soon," Riku called. His spirits lifted slightly as he said it, and the look on Sora's face certainly helped matters. "I'm not going to always be around to slaughter Heartless like this for you."

"Well, it's only the one eye for right now," Sora retorted, pouting slightly. Well, he probably wasn't pouting, but… it looked like it… "Aerith said that my left eye wasn't really damaged, so it'll be back to normal as soon as I can ditch these bandages."

Riku snorted. "You sound like Joseph! Whining at everything!"

"I'd like to think I don't whine as much as Joseph does," Sora muttered. He started attacking a Darkball that was bothering him.

"_Like_ to think!" Riku laughed. "So you aren't sure about that?"

His spirits certainly were lifting, now that he could tease and taunt Sora and not have Sora freak out or get mad or anything. It made him feel almost… normal. He laughed at _that_ thought, though. There was no way his life would _ever_ be normal.

But…

Maybe this was as close as he was ever going to get.

Plus, to make things even better, the terrible feeling in his gut had finally gone away.

"Area's clear!" Sora declared. "You wanna keep moving?"

Riku nodded.

Even if he wasn't planning to go sit and cry somewhere anymore, he thought that it wouldn't be a bad idea to take care of some Heartless farther out. Plus, he didn't want to deter Sora's enthusiasm.

If he had been paying attention, he would've noticed the slight smirk on Sora's face, and the fact that the crack in Sora's Keyblade had grown three inches.

However, he wasn't paying attention. So he let Sora lead him farther away from Aerith's house as they continued slaughtering Heartless.

He _did_ notice that Sora was killing Heartless a lot faster than usual, though. Sora's blade strokes were more confident, or something like that. He was using a lot more magic, now, too, and though he missed a few times, his aim had improved considerably. When Riku inquired what was with the magic, he merely said he was practicing.

_Might as well practice now,_ Riku thought, attacking a Defender with as much ferocity as he possibly could before it turned around again. _Besides, magic makes these things easier to kill._

"Hey, Sora," he said, throwing a look over his shoulder at him. Sora was concentrating on some Air Soldiers. "I never asked. How have you been doing lately?"

Sora laughed. Riku wasn't quite sure _why,_ but he assumed it had to do with the slight randomness of the question. Especially since it was a bit weird to ask someone how they were doing while they were fighting.

"Alright," Sora replied. There was a certain… cockiness – was it? – to his voice. "I could be doing better, but, I could be doing worse." He finished off the Air Soldier and turned to Riku. "You?"

"Great as I possibly can be," he said, finishing off the Defender.

"How's Namine?"

Riku frowned now, noting the slight… edge – or was that bitterness? – in Sora's tone. He swallowed, not liking it one bit. It sounded too much like-

"She's doing fine," he replied. A couple other responses crossed his mind, but he didn't voice them. Most of them Sora didn't want to hear, or would laugh at, and the rest involved the meltdowns… He didn't want to think about the meltdowns, nor did he feel like mentioning it to Sora was a good idea.

"Fine, eh?" Sora said. The bitterness (it was definitely bitterness) in his voice had grown, and the one eye Riku could see was narrowed into a glare. He took a step towards Riku, grip on his blade tightening. Riku nearly took a step back, but didn't. He wasn't a coward.

"Yeah, she's fine," he said. He didn't bother to keep the coldness out of his voice. "Is that a problem?"

Sora screamed suddenly in anger, and then lunged forward.

"Sora!" Riku gasped in horror, his voice slightly strangled due to the pain. He glanced down at his chest, where Sora had just _stabbed _him. He could feel blood starting to soak his shirt, and he could see darkness starting to fester in the wound.

Which, would've been all fine and dandy, had he been human. Sure, there might have been some scarring, but nothing _terrible_.

Being a Replica, however, made entirely of data…

And data didn't get along well with darkness…

Well, instead of going into complications, we'll just say that it hurt. _A lot_.

Riku swore very loudly.

Sora's Shadow, who happened to be watching from nearby, chuckled. This really was worth coming back for. He hadn't wanted to stick around, originally, but then he felt Sora's darkness rising up, and figured that it might be fun.

And was he _ever_ right.

This was _hilarious!_

And, had Sora been in his right mind at the moment, he would probably be yelling at his Shadow for laughing as much as he was.

However, Sora was _not_ in his right mind at the moment.

Sora's heart and mind happened to be clouded by darkness.

Which, was probably obvious. He had just stabbed Riku in the chest, after all.

"Good job, Sora," his Shadow said, grinning slyly. He pulled at the tendrils of darkness that were festering in Riku's wound, twisted them slightly, and sent them on their way. Riku writhed in pain as the darkness worked its way through him, leaving a path of damaged data in its wake.

"Sora, what are you-" he gasped, but couldn't get the words out.

Sora only grinned at him.

There was a sharp cracking sound, and then a couple pieces of the guard of Sora's Keyblade clattered to the ground. Each piece vanished in, not flashes of light, but flashes of darkness.

Very slowly, Sora pulled his blade out of Riku's chest. Darkness was dancing around it, and it was shimmering; soaked with Riku's blood. Riku sunk to his knees, clutching his bleeding and darkness infested chest. He was swearing frantically, as the darkness was coursing through him, feeding him, _strengthening_ him.

It hurt.

And yet…

It was exhilarating.

He could feel the power flooding through him, like a fire burning, waiting at his fingertips, daring to be used.

For a second, he forgot his pain.

Sure, he hurt, but this power was _wonderful._

He flickered into dark mode, the change happening much quicker than it normally would have. Darkness was dancing around his hands, pulsing, burning-

He closed a hand into a fist and pounded it against the ground, sounding out a wave of sparking dark energy and a few dark pillars upon impact. The wave staggered Sora and destroyed what remaining Heartless were in the area.

He couldn't help it.

He grinned.

All this power-

It was-

It was _thrilling._

"Funny," he laughed, pushing himself to his feet. "I'd forgotten just how thrilling the darkness could be."

He drew his blade, which came faster than usual, darkness pulsing across it. The very same darkness was pulsing at the fingertips of his other hand; ready to lash out.

And, for a moment, he was the very boy he hadn't been for eight months. A boy with unbelievable power at his fingertips, looking down on the world as if he owned it.

His eyes narrowed.

The power had not come without a cost.

The darkness, though it was feeding him, had clouded his mind, too. And when he looked at Sora, he didn't think of the fact that Sora wasn't in his right mind at the moment.

He didn't think of the fact that Sora had been struggling to keep his darkness in check not too long ago.

All he thought about was the fact that Sora had just shoved a blade through his chest.

And _now_ he had the power to get back at him.

Sora, who had been staring at his blood soaked blade in confusion and slight horror, took one look up at Riku and stumbled back.

"What?" Riku taunted. "Scared?"

"Of what?" Sora replied, the cockiness returning to his face. He readied his blade and rushed forward.

Riku brought up his blade to block.

The whole area exploded in darkness.


	109. A Replica's Pride

This is a random question. But I'm going to do a blog post concerning what everyone blames Namine's meltdowns on (go read the blog post concerning this chapter for my reasoning as to _why_. I'm just asking here because I know few people respond to the blog itself) and I'd like to know who'd you like to see in it .

Think of the **non-obvious** people, please! I already plan on including Namine, Riku, Alpha, 19, Vexen, and probably Joseph. Think of **other** people.

* * *

><p>A sudden pain shot through her chest, and Namine gasped in surprise. Her first instinct was to clutch her head, but that wasn't hurting, no in the slightest.<p>

"What- what the-" Her words were drowned by a cry of pain. She clutched her chest and doubled over from the pain, sending her sketchbook to the ground. She saw Kairi reach for it, and cried out in protest. The last picture she had drawn was of Sora stabbing Riku in the chest (what she assumed was causing her current pain) and Kairi could _not_ see that picture.

"I've already seen it," Kairi said, quietly, somehow reading her mind.

"Then- Then why-" She couldn't finish. The pain was too much. _Why didn't you say something?_ she thought instead. _Why didn't you protest? Say: "there's no way-"_

The pain suddenly doubled. It felt like every inch and fiber of her chest was burning- screaming- _dying._ She screamed again, but then bit her tongue.

"Are you okay?" Kairi asked, sounding rather worried now.

"Fine!" Namine snapped, pushing back the image and the memories that were boiling in her mind. She would _not_ have a meltdown now; there were more important matters at hand. "Why- why didn't you-"

"Say something?" Kairi suggested, as if she knew _exactly_ what Namine had been thinking moments before. Maybe she did. "Protest?" She certainly seemed to be on the right track.

Namine frowned.

Had she spoken aloud without realizing it or something?

"Say: 'There's no _possible_ way that Sora, _my_ Sora, would do such a thing?'" Kairi laughed, bitterly, which surprised Namine. "_That's_ not my Sora. My Sora's been gone for a while now, and I don't think he's coming back."

The certainty in Kairi's voice did not only surprise Namine, it downright _scared_ her. How could Kairi be so certain?

How could she _not_ care?

Shouldn't be upset, in denial?

Or-

_Maybe Kairi's right…_ Namine thought, slowly, realizing that the pain in her chest was proof enough. Plus, she could see clearly in her mind's eye; the laughter in his voice, the smirk on his face, the amusement in his eyes (well, eye, since one was heavily bandaged). The image was so crystal clear that if she wasn't in so much _pain_ she'd consider drawing it to capture it's… odd, dark, beauty.

_"I'd forgotten just how thrilling the darkness could be."_

The words, _Riku's_ words, sent shivers down her spine. She could feel the moment, the memories, a wall about to break-

"No!" she screamed in defiance.

"Namine, what's wrong?" Joseph asked, kneeling down next to her.

"I need to get to Riku," she said, staggering to her feet. It hurt to move, really, but she was able to fight back the pain in her mind, at least, and that helped some. The pain in her chest wouldn't go away, but if she could just get to Riku-

Then what?

What would she do?

Try to stop Sora?

Hope that her mere presence there would… what? Make Riku stop fighting? And then warped, not-in-his-right-mind Sora does what? Stops too?

Unlikely.

She could feel the battle in her bones, and it was fierce. It made her want to just curl up into a ball and wait for it to pass.

But she wouldn't.

She wanted to stop it.

But how?

She grimaced. Her body hurt, her head hurt-

Curse this stupid connection to Riku!

The _only_ bright side to this was that she knew something was wrong.

But maybe it would be better not to know…

"Meltdown?" Joseph asked, slowly rising to his feet, looking ready to steady her, if he had to.

"No," she replied, a bit angrily. "But if you don't shut up and let me focus it's going to be!"

Joseph stared to reply, but decided against it.

"I need to get to Riku," Namine repeated, shakily. "I need to make sure he's okay." She reached out to form a dark corridor, but Joseph grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"Wait a minute!" he said. His eyes darted over in the direction of the picture, as if he was trying to figure out what was going on. He seemed to understand that what was in the picture was actually happening _currently,_ though, because he then said: "What _exactly_ do you plan on doing?"

"I- I don't know," she admitted. "I'll figure it out when I-"

"No! Namine, you need to think this through!"

The sternness in his voice made her stop.

"You are not Riku!" Joseph continued. "You cannot just storm through your problems like they are nothing! You're not-"

"Okay, okay," Namine muttered. "But-"

"Look, I'll go with you," Joseph said.

"No, it's too dangerous," Namine told him. "29 would kill me if I let you-"

Joseph rolled his eyes. "No he wouldn't…"

"Kay, fine, he wouldn't," Namine sighed. "But he'd think me irresponsible and wouldn't let me take you anywhere again."

_That_ shut Joseph up.

"I'll go," Kairi said after a moment.

Namine turned to her, frowning slightly. "You sure?"

Kairi nodded.

"Yeah…" She didn't _sound_ very sure, but Namine didn't feel like arguing the matter. "I was thinking… maybe I could talk to him. He- he might not listen to me, but- I should be able to keep him distracted while you get Riku out of the way."

"Okay, cool," Namine said. She had a terrible feeling that she was being rude or something, but, really, she was in a lot of pain right now.

And, from the feel of things, Riku was, too.

Besides, getting Kairi to talk to Sora probably was a _good_ thing.

"Let's go then."

"Well, wait," Kairi said, grimacing slightly. "I should… probably tell my dad. I don't want to leave without him knowing. I mean-"

"Kairi, must we?" Namine sighed. "It won't take us that long; we'll be back before he even-"

"I want to tell him," Kairi interrupted. "What if something happens and I don't come back?"

"I'll make sure-"

"No, Namine, I'm not taking any chances! I- I can't have him worrying about me."

"Aren't you just wasting time?" Toby asked. "The longer you argue, the longer it's gonna take, right?"

Namine sighed. It was slightly embarrassing to have that pointed out by an eight-year-old. Even worse, he was right. "But how long will it take to-"

"It's a Saturday. He should be home, and it shouldn't take long to explain everything to him," Kairi assured her. "Trust me."

Namine closed her eyes, took a deep breath to calm herself down, then opened them again.

"Alright, let's hurry."

Kairi nodded, got to her feet, handed Namine's sketchbook to her and then started off.

"Where are you going?" Namine called, confused.

"Not leaving my boat here!" Kairi called back.

Namine groaned.

"Riku's strong," Joseph told her. "He'll be fine. And you know it."

_But you don't know how much pain he's in…_ she thought, bitterly. She started to voice her thoughts, but then Joseph was running off.

"Where are _you_ going!" she demanded.

He grinned.

"I've never been in a boat before!"

"Joseph, we can't all-"

"We won't have to!" he interrupted.

Before Namine could ask anymore about the matter, Toby tugged on her arm. She glanced down at him.

"I don't want to go in a boat," he informed her plainly. "Too close to water."

She sighed.

"Right, we'll just meet them on the other side." She opened up a dark corridor, focusing extra hard on _not_ going to where Riku was.

"I have your pencils," Toby said, suddenly, handing them to her. "I thought I'd-"

"Thank you," she said, taking them. "Now c'mon."

xXx

His body was screaming in defiance. He couldn't keep this up much longer. The darkness, however, seemed intent on running him dry. Every time he felt weary, a wave of darkness would surge through him, blotting the thought out and sending more strength through him to keep him going.

He swung his blade at Sora, and Sora blocked it with surprising accuracy, and a jolt went through him from the impact. He could see his hands shaking, and figured that the rest of his body was, too, though he couldn't feel it. He shook his head, trying to clear it; his brain was all foggy.

_It's the loss of blood,_ he reminded himself, not for the first time. The darkness seemed intent on making him forget that fact.

Did it want to kill him or something?

Because if he didn't stop fighting soon and get some help, there was a high chance he might not make it.

However, Sora wasn't backing down, and there was no way that _he_ was going to.

He wasn't a coward.

He threw Dark Firaga at Sora, hoping that it would knock him off his feet. Sora, however, batted the spell back with his blade, sending it back in Riku's direction. Riku considered dodging, but he didn't need to, as it only grazed past his ear. It was sparking with a familiar energy, one that made him sure that if he had wanted to, he could've caught the spell and merely absorbed it back into himself.

Sora ran toward him then, blade bared, leaping up to strike. The scene was so familiar that Riku's next move was practically subconscious.

He threw up a wall of darkness around himself. The wall caught Sora before impact and shock flashed across his face before he was thrown backward, skidding across the ground. He didn't get back up.

Riku started towards him, though he wasn't entirely sure _why_. It turned out it didn't matter, though, because he had only gotten about two steps before his legs gave way beneath him. He collapsed and landed flat on his face.

His vision was clouding.

His breath was getting short.

He couldn't find the strength to move-

He lost consciousness.


	110. Feeding the Beast

Sorry guys, I would've had this up last night, but I was falling asleep at my computer, so... no...

then I planned to put it up this morning, but my mom woke me up late for the thing I was supposed to go to, so I only had enough time to get dressed and eat.

and... then I got sidetracked...

BUT HERE IT IS!

* * *

><p>They were moving far too slow for her liking. It took them a good five minutes (well, it was probably less than five, but how was she supposed to know the <em>exact<em> amount?) to walk to Kairi's house, only to find out that her dad wasn't home. They were currently on their way to her dad's office, in hopes that he would be there.

"And what if he's not?" Namine asked, trying her hardest not to sound bitter or something.

"I'll just leave him a note," Kairi replied simply. "Now you guys are going to have to wait out here. I'll be back in just a second."

"Wait, shouldn't-" Namine began, but Kairi had already gone inside. She groaned. "Shouldn't have left a note at her house?"

"She did," Joseph said.

Namine frowned.

"Then why haven't we left yet?"

"She said she wanted to actually talk to her dad," Toby said, slowly, looking up at Namine in confusion. "Where were you?"

"In pain…" Namine replied, just as slowly.

Joseph leaned up against a nearby wall. There was a look of concern on his face. "What's going on, Namine?" he asked. "You keep saying you're in pain, but you won't tell us _why_."

"Well… it's been a while since it last happened," she said. "But, sometimes, I'll kind of see whatever Riku's doing. Usually I just draw a picture of it and that's all, but- but now it's like I'm _feeling_ what _he's_ feeling. Which happens to be a lot of pain…"

Joseph nodded, apparently understanding, though Namine couldn't imagine _how._ _She_ hardly understood it herself.

"That's why you want to get to him, huh?"

Namine nodded.

Thankfully (for her, at least) the pain had died down to a dull throb. She hoped that that meant Riku was getting healed or something, but she couldn't be sure. All she could "see" was blackness. Either that meant the connection between them had lost strength, or he had passed out for some reason.

She really hoped it was that first option.

Kairi came back out. "Alright, we can go!" she declared.

"That was fast!" Joseph said, pushing away from the wall. He sounded rather surprised.

Namine was surprised, too.

"What did he say?" she asked.

Kairi grinned. "He told me to go, have fun, pack a lunch if I thought I'd be gone long, and not to worry about school."

Joseph stared.

"I love your dad…"

Kairi giggled. "I love my dad too," she said, ruffling his hair. She turned to Namine. "We going?"

"Well, I should drop Joseph and Toby off at Castle Oblivion," Namine sighed.

"Can't you just send us home?" Joseph asked.

"No, I want to tell 29 why you can't follow me."

Joseph threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Then why didn't you take us while we were waiting for Kairi!" He sounded rather exasperated. "Do you know how much time we could've saved?"

Namine winced. "I- I wasn't thinking, okay!"

Joseph groaned and opened up a dark corridor.

"Let's just get going already!"

xXx

He stepped over Sora, taking care to "accidently" trod on his fingers. Sora groaned slightly, but his Shadow ignored him and went over to Riku. He kicked Riku lightly in the side with his toe, so that he rolled over onto his back. He grimaced. Riku's chest was _completely_ soaked with blood. Riku also looked rather pale, or, at least, what little of Riku he could see did, as most of Riku covered by his dark suit. And... most of the dark suit was covered in blood.

Sora's Shadow squatted down next to Riku, watching in amazement as his dark suit slowly repaired itself. "Huh," he muttered, and then, curious, summoned a bit of darkness to him. He slashed with the darkness, severing a couple strands of Riku's dark suit that hadn't quite finished repairing themselves yet. The darkness then made contact with Riku's skin, and Riku's back arched in pain and a strangled shout escaped his lips. Sora's Shadow was pretty sure that this was merely a subconscious reaction, because Riku appeared to be out cold otherwise. He chuckled.

"You better hope someone finds you soon, Riku," he said, grinning. "You might not be lucky enough to live much longer." He laughed at the thought. "Oh Riku, how you'd _squirm_ if you knew what a wonderful monster you make!"

A grimace crossed Riku's face.

Sora's Shadow laughed again.

"Look at you! Grimacing at the thought and you aren't even conscious! You know it's true, don't you?" Riku didn't respond, but he hadn't expected him to. He kept talking: "You lash out the moment you're angry, and you hate it."

He felt something stir behind him, but, figuring it was only Sora, he ignored it. He could deal with Sora when he got annoying.

He scooped up some of Riku's blood with his fingers, and smirked, watching as it dripped back onto the ground. Riku's blood was heavily infested with darkness.

"Can't be affected by darkness my ass!" he exclaimed. "You lose control just like everyone else!" He paused a second, then smiled. "What did you call it?" he asked. "_Thrilling?_" He grinned then. "'How can you be scared of something that can be so thrilling?'" he quoted; it was a line straight from Riku's past.

He placed a hand on Riku's chest – either Riku was dark enough that it negated the odd plane of existence, or he was getting stronger – and summoned some more darkness to him.

"The darkness is your _weapon_, Riku," he said, forcing the darkness into Riku. "Why don't you use it!"

Riku's back arched in pain again, and his whole body began to shake, as if he was trying to resist it. Sora's Shadow continued feeding the darkness into him, ignoring all resistance.

"The darkness doesn't _hurt_ you!" he said, a bit annoyed now. "Why do you resist it? You were _programmed_ to use it, so use it!"

Riku continued to resist.

Sora's Shadow nearly swore.

"What happened to embracing the darkness, huh?" he asked, _definitely_ annoyed now. "Didn't you say that you embraced it? Didn't fear it? What happened to that? Huh?"

He continued pouring the darkness into Riku, determined. Riku was writhing in pain by this point, and his dark suit was rapidly repairing itself now that it had more darkness to feed off of. Dark energy was sparking around his body, too. Sora's Shadow slowly grinned.

Even if Riku wasn't quite accepting the darkness, the darkness was certainly getting to him.

He paused a second, feeling a slight disturbance on his skin. But as soon as he recognized it as the familiar prickle of darkness, he wrote it off as merely being Riku and let it go.

"Why are you scared?" he taunted, his grin widening. "Not a wimp like Real Thing, are ya?"

There was a split second pause. Riku stopped resisting for a moment.

Sora's Shadow summoned some more darkness to him, ready to feed it into Riku now that he had let his guard down. He was surprised when the darkness was pulled _from_ him, like Riku was pulling it into himself-

Embracing it.

He laughed, and summoned some more darkness to him. Riku took that, too, almost a bit eagerly. Apparently, taunting his subconscious had really worked.

_I wonder what he'll think when he wakes up,_ he thought, slowly. He might have laughed at the thought, but there was power surging through him, darkness, and it was distracting.

Riku had been right; it _was_ thrilling.

Riku flopped back onto the ground, and Sora's Shadow pulled his hand back, hissing slightly. The air was sparking with darkness now, and, though it didn't hurt him, it was… annoying? Or… something…

He sighed. At least that had worked.

He turned around to Sora, ready to deal with him now-

He frowned.

Sora was gone.

In his place was a large Heartless, who was sniffing the ground in a very wolf-like manner. It seemed just as confused as he was.

"You have any idea where he went?" he asked, rising to his feet. The Heartless snarled at him. He took a step back, and grimaced, as he had stepped in Riku's blood. The grimace quickly became a glare.

"Down!" he commanded the Heartless.

It hesitated for a second, but then continued to snarl.

"_Down!_" he commanded, again, much more forcefully this time.

The Heartless stopped snarling, though it didn't look happy about it. After a moment, it sat down and threw him a look that clearly said: 'are you happy now?'

"That'll do," he told the Heartless, walking over to it. It watched him with uncertain eyes, as if trying to decide whether or not it was safe to trust him. He ran a finger along the thorns that encased its arms, half in admiration, half in curiosity. The Heartless was rather complex by design, and he couldn't recall seeing it ever before.

"My, aren't you big!" he said. "Where'd you come from?"

The Heartless gave him a rather smug look, probably only pleased about being called big. He had a feeling that if he hadn't complimented it, it would've snapped at him for using such a tone with it. He placed a hand on its side. The recognition that surged through him when they made contact was so strong that he almost had to pull away.

"_Sora_ created you!"

The Heartless made a few noises that he took to mean something along the lines of 'accident'. He laughed.

"And I wasn't?" He grinned. "Hey, since we were both accidently spawned from Sora, why don't we stick together?"

The Heartless growled. Apparently it didn't think highly of that idea.

He clucked his tongue in disappointment. "Now, no need to give me that," he said. "It's a great idea! You just need to take a more… manageable form." He thought about it for a minute, then grinned as he got an idea. He forced the idea onto the Heartless, manipulating its darkness into a different form.

It started to shrink beneath his touch, its shape morphing, until what stood before him looked much more like a wolf than a Heartless with semi-wolf-like features. Its fur was as black as the typical Heartless, though, and its mane was still that red-fire. The thorns were gone, but the chain around its neck remained. It had gained a tail, too, made of the same red-fire as its mane. Its eyes were a fierce gold, probably the closest it could get to glowing-Heartless-yellow while remaining wolf-like.

"There," he said, satisfied.

The wolf growled. Its eyes flashed yellow, and it reared up-

He grabbed the chains around its neck and yanked on them, choking it. It yelped in pain, and then bit his hand. He swore and pulled his hand away, though he did not let go of the wolf's chains. He grimaced down at the wound, only to find that there _wasn't_ one. The only blood on his hand was Riku's.

Apparently, he wasn't human enough to bleed.

The wolf snarled something, and though he couldn't _entirely_ understand it, he figured that it meant something like: 'You wouldn't taste good anyway.' The wolf then licked its lips thoughtfully, and turned to Riku. Sora's Shadow only barely caught it as it leapt, and had trouble pulling it away.

"Bad dog!" he said, smacking it on the nose. "We don't need to worry about him!" He forced the wolf's nose into the pool of Sora's blood (it was a rather small pool compared to Riku's). "_He's_ who we're looking for."

The wolf fought against him a bit.

"Have you got the scent?" he asked, impatiently.

It gave a short bark which he assumed meant yes. He let go.

"Any idea what happened?"

The wolf made a sound between a growl and a bark.

"Darkness?" he said, a bit confused, partially because he wasn't sure if he had understood that properly, but partially because- "Sora wouldn't use darkness to get away! He has that stupid star shard thing!"

The wolf shook its head.

"Not Sora?" He raised his eyebrows. He didn't know anyone whose main mode of transportation was darkness. No one that would want to kidnap Sora, anyway. "Who?"

The wolf pawed at its nose.

He took that to mean that it didn't know. He grimaced, remembering the disturbance he had felt earlier. He wrote it off as being Riku, but… what if it was someone else?

And why would they want Sora?

He looked down at the wolf.

"Can we follow him?"

The wolf bit his hand again, though a tad more gently, and it held on firmly. It dragged him forward, and the Worlds shifted around them and they vanished.


	111. Dreadful Uncertainty

**Update Feb 2014: **There is an ASAS chapter that happens shortly before this chapter! it would be chapter 32, titled "Extra HB stuff 1"

* * *

><p>Namine got about three steps into Castle Oblivion before the pain struck. It was about as painful as a meltdown, but it wasn't in her head; it was tearing through her chest- through her entire body. Her legs gave way beneath her and she was vaguely aware of someone steadying her as she fell. She could hear muffled voices, and assumed that someone was asking if she was okay or not.<p>

She tried to say that she was fine, but if any words left her mouth they were garbled.

The pain was too much.

She could hardly even think straight, let alone get her mouth to work properly.

Though she was sure that, if she wanted to, she could probably scream just fine.

After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes (or less) the pain finally subsided. She was on the ground, and Kairi was helping support her. She sat up, panicked.

"We have to go, _now_," she said, firmly. She tried to get to her feet, but only collapsed again.

"Are you sure that _you_ should be going anywhere?" Kairi asked.

Namine frowned at her.

"Yeah, maybe you should wait a bit," Joseph added. "I mean, they can't _still_ be fighting, can they?"

"The probably could," Namine whispered. "I don't- I don't think they are, though…"

"See? You can wait for a couple minutes until you're feeling better."

"That's not the point!" Namine shouted, or, _tried _to shout. Her voice came out more like something between a gasp and a squeak. She swallowed.

While, no, it certainly didn't feel like Riku and Sora were fighting anymore, what little she could feel frightened her. During the pain she could hear… someone laughing. Someone shouting, too, sounding rather annoyed, though there was a cry of pain mixed in there somewhere and… more laughter.

No, she couldn't "see" anything.

But she could certainly feel a lot.

And what she felt scared her.

The pain, that laughter, and then a sort of prickle on her skin that both burned and tickled. She recognized that as the feel of darkness, but that certainly didn't reassure her at all.

Because she was dead sure that something had happened to Riku.

Something bad.

And now-

Now, she could hardly feel anything.

And what she could feel was faint and growing fainter by the second.

Like he was-

"Then what is the point?" Joseph asked.

She turned to him, stared for a second, before she said: "I need to get to Riku." She forced herself to her feet, and though she staggered, she did not let herself fall. She started to form a dark corridor, but then Joseph tugged her to the ground. She glared at him.

"You are not going anywhere!" he told her. "I don't care if I have to sit on you to make you stay! You're not- I mean, sorry, but- you're not thinking straight."

"We have a plan, though," Kairi said.

"I know you do," Joseph replied. "But that doesn't mean Namine's going to be able to carry it through. How is she supposed to get Riku out of there when she's not thinking clearly herself?"

"Hand me my sketchbook," Namine whispered.

Kairi nodded and handed it over, along with a pencil. Namine took them, flipped to a blank page, and then started drawing. She let her mind slip out of focus, so that she could pick up a bit more on what was happening with Riku. Drawing the picture would be subconscious after that.

His breath was short.

He was feeling something between pain and adrenaline.

And it was… cold…

Namine shook herself out of it. She had a good enough idea of the picture in her head.

"Hand me the red pencil," she whispered. She hadn't wanted to color the picture in the first place, considering the lack of time, but she needed to fill in the red. Maybe then they would understand…

She took the red pencil from Kairi (or whoever handed it to her. She assumed it was Kairi, but it might have been someone else; she wasn't paying attention) and started coloring. There was a lot to be done…

"There," she said, when she was finished. She turned the picture to Joseph. He cringed.

"What- what happened!" he asked. "I mean, _that's a lot of blood!_ Is- is he-"

"I think he's dying…" Namine whispered. "I can hardly feel him anymore… I-" She glanced down at the picture; Riku was lying in a pool of his own blood. And, based on everything else she was feeling- "I want to help him. But- but I think it's-"

Too late.

But she couldn't say that.

As if not saying it would keep it from being true.

"Let's go find him then," Joseph said. He grabbed Namine's shoulder, and then formed a dark corridor.

She frowned.

"How does that go to the right place?"

"I just formed a dark corridor for you," Joseph explained. "Channeled where you want to go into my own dark corridor. It works, trust me." He grinned then. "Me and Toby got bored and figured this out a bit a go."

"It does work!" Toby added.

"Okay…" Namine wasn't sure whether or not to believe them, but she figured it wasn't worth her time worrying about it. If the corridor didn't go where she needed it to, she'd just form a new one. "But _you're_ not coming."

"Why not!" Joseph demanded.

"What if Sora's there?" Namine asked.

"What's _he_ gonna do! Even if he _does_ try anything, Kairi plans on distracting him, and I'm sure I could probably yell at him about-"

"How do we know he'll listen, though?" Kairi interrupted. "I mean, if he is there, he's- he's letting Riku die. How are any of the rest of us safe?"

They all stared at her. She looked like she might be close to tears, yet trying so hard to hold them back.

"I mean, I'd _like_ to think that he wouldn't hurt any of us," she continued. "That he only hurt Riku because he was so jealous of him, and the darkness could latch onto that. But- But I don't… I don't know him anymore…" She trailed off, voice extremely quiet. She wasn't looking at anyone, but at a spot on the ground.

"Kairi, I'm sure he'll-" Joseph began.

She ignored him, and laughed, bitterly almost. "You would think, after growing up with him, spending all my time with him, practically _living_ with him, that I'd understand him- understand everything about him, but- but I _don't_."

Namine felt like she should be arguing this; that she should be trying to deter Kairi from thinking like this, and assure her that Sora was fine.

But-

She couldn't. She had other things to worry about.

She gripped the edges of her sketchbook, tightly.

"He's just… changed too much…" Kairi said, and it really sounded like she was close to tears. "I hardly even recognize him… I- I can't even be sure that he'll leave _me_ alone! And we- we were _best_ friends. _Siblings_, practically. Maybe- maybe even closer…"

"Listen, Kairi, let's go find out," Joseph said, trying to smile at her. "I don't care how much the darkness has muddled his thoughts. Sora _will_ recognize you. I know it."

"Whatever," Kairi muttered. "We just need to get Riku out of there. It doesn't matter what Sora does."

"And, hey, if something goes bad, I could just shoot a fireball at his face or something," Toby added, laughing slightly.

"You're not going," Namine repeated.

Joseph glared at her, and then closed the dark corridor. "Then you're not going, either!"

"Joseph, that's blackmail!" Kairi said, sounding rather appalled.

"No, it's bribery!" he replied.

Kairi stared, a bit confused. "No… bribery is when you give someone something so that they do something for you."

"Yeah, I'm letting her see Riku as long as she lets me come with."

"This isn't bribery Joseph."

"Well, it's not blackmail, either."

"Whatever it is, it's cruel, and-"

"Uhm, guys, you might want to-" Toby began, but then fumbled, unsure of quite what to say. "You- uh- Namine's leaving."

"Crap!" Joseph said, and then lunged at Namine, as if he planned to knock her down or prevent her from going through the dark corridor in some other way. Kairi grabbed him, though, before he got far.

"Let her go," she said.

Joseph squirmed against Kairi, but it really was no use.

Namine stepped through the dark corridor.

And she was _not_ greeted by the sight that she had drawn moments ago; of Riku bleeding and unconscious and about to die-

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of Riku sitting in the middle of Aerith's house, looking relatively okay for the most part, though the wound in his chest looked terrible. He glanced up at her.

"Oh my gosh, Namine, I'm not wearing a shirt!" he gasped.


	112. Won't Hurt Me

"Oh my gosh, Namine, I'm not wearing a shirt!" he gasped.

Joseph (whom Kairi had let go through the dark corridor) smacked his forehead.

Namine stared.

"Really_?_" she said, once she found her voice. "_Really? _Here I was worried sick that you had _died_ and _that's_ all you care about!"

"Well, I-"

"If you weren't injured I would _so_ smack you right now!"

"Don't be so hard on him," Aerith said, coming in with a roll of bandages. "He's been through a lot today."

"It's been like, an hour!" Yuffie called from… somewhere.

"Ah, yes, I can _so_ tell that I'm loved…" Riku muttered.

Namine blushed and quickly turned away from him.

"Well, he's okay enough to be sarcastic!" Joseph said.

"Namine, your face is all red," Toby said, poking her.

"Is not," she mumbled.

"Riku's all red, too!" Joseph laughed.

"Shut up Joseph."

"Namine, you want to close the dark corridor?" Kairi asked.

Namine nodded and did so, still staring firmly at the ground.

Aerith glanced over at Kairi. "Hello," she said, and she fumbled slightly after saying it, as if she meant to say more but decided against it at the last second. She smiled to cover it up. "My name's Aerith. What's yours?"

"Kairi."

"Nice to meet you." Aerith turned to Joseph and Toby. "And who are you two little ones?"

Joseph scowled. "I'm not little! And my name's Joseph!" He grinned then and pointed at Toby. "That's Toby! He doesn't like talking if he doesn't have to, especially not to new people."

Toby gave a shy little wave.

"Do you want anything? I might still have some cookies…" Aerith headed towards the kitchen, motioning for the boys to follow her.

"What are-" Toby began.

"You've never had cookies!" Joseph demanded, surprised. "Toby, what is wrong with you!" He grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the kitchen. "I mean, seriously, who _hasn't_ had cookies?"

"You know I haven't done much in the past-"

"Still! No cookies? Insanity!"

Joseph probably said more, but Namine stopped listening. She sat down next to Riku, and started to grab his hand, but he pulled it away from her.

"Don't!" he said, frantically. "You'll hurt yourself!"

She frowned, and he held up his hand for her to see. Darkness was sparking at his fingertips. He shook his hand, as if to make it go away, but it did absolutely nothing.

"What…?" she began.

"I- I don't know-" he replied. "It's- it's like there's more darkness in me. But- but I don't know what happened. Not really. I can't remember much after Sora stabbed me."

Kairi pulled a chair away from the table and sat down in it. If she was bothered or moved in any way by that statement she did not show it.

"Are you okay?" Namine asked Riku.

"For the most part, yeah," he said with a shrug. "I mean, I'm feeling a bit lightheaded…"

"Well of course you're feeling lightheaded!" Namine looked up to see a woman with long dark brown hair standing in the doorway. Her arms were folded across her chest and she looked rather miffed. "Do you know how much blood you lost!"

"A lot…?" Riku replied slowly.

"A lot is an _understatement_ Riku! You should be _dead_ right now!"

"Well, technically," Aerith called. "He'd only be-"

"Okay, fine! Not dead, but _nearly_ dead, and definitely not functioning at the rate you are now!"

"I'm… sorry I recover so quickly?" Riku said, a bit confused.

"No, you're just lucky we found you in time!" She sighed, and then turned to Namine. "I'm sorry, I don't believe we've been formally introduced yet. I'm Tifa. You're… Namine, aren't you?"

Namine nodded.

Tifa turned to Kairi. "And you're-?" The sentence sounded like it started off as a statement but ended in a question at the last moment.

"Kairi."

Tifa stared at her for a second. "Are you okay…?" she asked.

Kairi frowned. "Yeah," she said, firmly. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well-" Tifa began, but paused. She shifted her glance away. "You look confused…" she whispered. "And you… Nothing. It's nothing."

"If you have something to say, I'd like to hear it," Kairi said.

"It's nothing, really," Tifa muttered. "I shouldn't have even said it in the first place. Sorry." She headed to the kitchen.

Aerith walked back into the room. "Cookies should keep the little ones occupied for a while, right?"

"I've seen Joseph get bored with something in about five minutes," Riku laughed. "Might want to tell Toby to keep him out of trouble or something."

Aerith sighed. "Well, that's going to have to wait. You needed to be bandaged five minutes ago." She picked up the roll of bandages from where she had left it on the table. She smiled. "Namine, you're going to have to-"

"I'm moving," Namine said, getting to her feet and pulling up a chair next to Kairi. "Thank you."

"For what?" Aerith asked, kneeling down next to Riku so that she could bandage him. "Oh. Healing Riku?" She glanced up at Namine.

Namine nodded.

Aerith laughed. "That's nothing! I know Tifa was making a big deal out of it, but, really, it's just what I do." She shrugged in a dismissive manner. "Seriously, I'd heal anyone who showed up on my doorstep if they needed it. Well-" she paused for a second, thinking about it. "Almost anyone. If Xehanort showed up, I think I'd laugh and slam the door in his face."

"Who's-" Kairi began.

"Don't worry about it!" Tifa called. "If you didn't grow up here, you don't know him."

"But what does she have against him?"

"It's not just her," Yuffie said, leaning against the doorframe. She was bouncing a tennis ball against the ground and catching it, a motion which seemed almost subconscious. "I think everyone who knows him has something against him. Unless you're one of the weirdoes who worked for- hey!"

Joseph had formed a dark corridor beneath her tennis ball, causing it to fall into his hand rather than hit the ground and bounce like it should've. He grinned and tossed it into the air a couple of times. "Why do you have a tennis ball?" he asked.

"Because I get bored and need _something_ to do," Yuffie replied. "Now give it back!"

Joseph's grin grew even wider. "Catch me first!" he laughed, taking off.

"If you're going to run, do it outside!" Aerith called.

"Okay!" Joseph called back. They heard a door open and slam, and then a groan from Yuffie.

"Thanks a lot Aerith!"

"No problem!" Aerith called, then sighed, and then started bandaging Riku again. She had barely started when she paused. "Riku! There is _still_ darkness in this!"

Riku frowned. "How is this _my_ fault?"

"Well, it's not, but- _still!_" She groaned. "I can't bandage you if there's darkness in the wound! I mean, I can, but-"

Tifa glanced up from cleaning the kitchen counter. "Aerith, do you want me to-"

"Do what!" Aerith asked, a bit exasperated. "You're no better at this than I am!"

"Better at what?" Namine asked.

"Well, darkness cancels out all types of healing spells, and prevents a wound from healing properly, which is why wounds inflicted by darkness typically scar," Aeirth explained. "So, you have to summon light to banish the darkness. However… I'm apparently no good at doing that…" She trailed off and then closed her eyes, as if trying to hold back some emotion that was about to break free. "I mean, I thought I had gotten better after healing Sora's fingers," she continued, a bit shakily. "But I had almost no luck with what happened to his face, and I'm having hardly any luck here-"

"What was that?" Kairi interrupted.

"About what?" Aerith asked. "Sora's fingers?"

"Oh, yes, because his fingers are most important," Kairi replied sarcastically. "I mean his face! What happened!"

"He got slashed across the face with a bunch of darkness," Tifa said. "He's going to have a nasty scar now, especially since he ran off like he did before Aerith could try and-"

"There wasn't anything else I could do, and you know that," Aerith said. "It was going to scar no matter what."

"How bad is it?" Kairi asked, slowly. She sounded worried and yet… a bit uncertain, like she almost shouldn't be worried.

Tifa slowly reached up and traced her fingers across her face in a rough imitation of what she remembered it to look like. Kairi winced.

"Do you think he's okay?"

"Oh, he just _stabbed_ me in the chest and you're asking if _he's_ okay!" Riku said.

"Riku!" Namine gasped. "That was _rude!_"

Riku made a face.

"I'm just saying, maybe we'd _both_ be okay if-"

"If _what,_ Riku!" Kairi demanded. "I had been there? And just how was I supposed to _get _there, huh?"

He shrugged.

"Besides, even if I could've gotten there, what would I have done? Sora doesn't listen to any of you, why should he listen to me?"

"Because you're-" Tifa began, and then trailed off.

"Because I'm _what?_"

"His light…" Tifa muttered, but her voice was so quiet that only Riku and maybe Aerith heard.

"Hmm?"

"Hey, Kairi," Aerith said. "Why you don't you try and see if you can help Riku out?"

Kairi made a face. "Why me?"

Aerith shrugged dismissively. "You look like the Healer type. Besides, maybe you'd have better luck than I would."

"Why would I-" Kairi began, but stopped, almost as if she was unsure of how to finish that.

"Just give it a shot," Aerith said. "It's only a healing spell. Nothing bad can happen if you mess up."

"Oh…kay…" Kairi said, slowly, getting to her feet and making her way over. "What do I need to do?"

"Focus your energy and call the light to you," Aerith explained. "You really shouldn't have a problem."

"A-alright." Kairi knelt down next to Riku and place a hand on his chest, right over the wound, though not quite touching it. She took a deep breath, and then after a moment light flowed from her fingertips and into Riku.

There was silence for a moment. Aerith smiled.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was-"

Riku screamed.

Kairi quickly pulled her hand away, stunned. "Ohmigosh!" she gasped. "What did I do! Is he-"

"You didn't do anything," Tifa said. "Conflicting forces, that's all. He's got a lot of darkness in him, so the light's going to hurt no matter what. Give him a sec and he should calm down."

Riku fell forward, onto his hands and knees. He flickered into dark mode, then out of it, and then in to it again. He swore under his breath and forced himself back out of it. "Stop it!" he muttered, angrily.

Namine rushed to his side. "Are you okay?"

He glanced up at her, and then quickly scrambled away from her. He ended up landing rather roughly on his butt and nearly hit a chair in the process. "I'll hurt you!" he gasped.

She grabbed him by the shoulders. "No you won't," she told him, firmly. She smiled. "I know you won't. You're too… _you_ to hurt me. See?" She picked up one of his hands and held it in front of his face. "No darkness."

He stared for a second.

"As fine and great as that's working, Namine," Tifa called with a sigh. "It's not going to do him much good. He's suppressing the darkness instead of finding some way to master it. It'll eventually end up backfiring."

"Maybe it'll be right in L's face," Namine said with a wry smile.

Riku laughed.

"Funny," Tifa said, though she didn't sound amused at all. "But he's going to have to go outside and expel some of that darkness before Aerith can-"

"Tifa, he's done that twice now," Aerith interrupted, a tad impatiently. "We're wasting time. Namine can do what she's doing long enough so that I can bandage him, and then he can go deal with that excess darkness."

Before Tifa could protest or anyone else could delay her, Aerith started bandaging Riku.


	113. Friendly Frustration

hope you didn't read the blog post concerning the chapter before the chapter itself, because I just accidentally posted the blog, and it's a bit too much work to delete it only to repost it in about five minutes

so...

Btw, two quick questions.

For starters, the second question is one I already asked on my blog, but no one replied to it... so... either none of you are reading my blog, or you're all to shy to reply to it. PLEASE REPLY TO IT, WILL YOU? I love talking to you guys, and it's much easier to do it on the blog than through reviews. Don't have an account? Don't worry, you don't need one! (provided you don't plan on posting anything ridiculously long) Just put your name in as whatever the heck you review under, and then post your comment. Nothing else is required.

Second question.

I was thinking that the appearance of Riku's dark mode would change as a result of him being superinfused with darkness. I asked for suggestions on my blog, but no one gave any. I'm asking again: Any suggestions for what it might look like?  
>(more details on this on the blog, which has had three updates since I've come home)<p>

* * *

><p>It was less than five minutes later when Aerith finished.<p>

"Finally," she sighed. "There you go Riku. All bandaged up." She pushed herself up, stifled a yawn, and then went to put the bandages away.

"Hey Aerith," Namine called. "Can I hug Riku?"

Aerith laughed. "Why do you need my permission to hug him?" she replied.

"Well… he's injured…"

Aerith laughed again. "If he'll let you hug him, go for it!"

Namine turned to Riku. "Do you mind?" she asked.

He laughed slightly, thinking this entire situation right now rather random. "Why would I-" he began, but then she threw her arms around him.

"-mind," he finished.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she breathed, burying her face in his chest.

He slowly wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "How did you know I wasn't?"

"I drew a picture of Sora stabbing you," she said, voice extremely quiet. "And then I had this feeling that-" She broke off.

"Well, I'm okay now," he said. "A bit woozy still, but okay."

She laughed.

"You should go deal with that darkness problem now," Tifa said. There was something that was almost impatience in her voice.

Riku grunted and let go of Namine. Namine waited a second, and then let go of him, too. He pushed himself to his feet. He stumbled slightly when he was up, but Namine grabbed him by the arm to steady him. He glanced over at her, and she smiled apologetically, unsure of what else to do. He slowly smiled back, then turned to Aerith, who was making her way back into the room.

"Do you-"

"I don't have any spare shirts, sorry," Aerith said with a shrug. "Leon's are all dirty, and I don't think you want to be wearing something that belongs to Cid."

"Oh," Riku muttered.

"Speaking of Leon, where is he?" Namine asked.

"In his room, last I checked," Aerith said. "He mentioned something about writing a letter."

"Who's he writing a letter to?" Riku asked, a bit surprised.

"Rinoa," Aerith said. "It's no surprise, really, especially not after what happened the other- wait-" She turned to Tifa, looking rather shocked. "This morning, wasn't it?"

Tifa nodded.

Aerith laughed. "Certainly feels like it's been longer than that! But, anyway, he probably just wants to make sure that she's okay. Not that it matters, he needed to get back in touch with her anyway."

"Who's-" Riku began.

"Darkness!" Tifa interrupted, nodding towards the door. "You really need to go take care of that!"

"I'm going I'm going," he muttered, heading outside. Namine followed after him. He glanced over his shoulder at her. "You coming too?"

She shrugged in a sort of "why not?" way.

He frowned, looking like he was going to protest.

"You won't hurt me," she told him.

He opened his mouth to argue.

"Not even by accident."

He paused, swallowed, and then sighed. "C'mon then," he muttered, and continued walking. He stopped a bit away from Aerith's house – far enough that no one would get caught in the chaos, but close enough that if something went wrong he wouldn't have far to go.

He flickered into dark mode and focused the excess energy that was flooding through him to his fingertips. Once he had gathered a decent amount, he turned and threw it at the ground. While, no, it probably wasn't the _best_ thing to do with it, it was the only thing he could reasonably think of doing with it. The force of the impact made him flinch slightly, and it blew air back in his face; air that was heavily tainted with darkness.

Namine shielded her eyes.

"You had to do this _twice?_" she asked, once the darkness had cleared.

Riku nodded. "Yeah." He focused more energy to his fingertips. "The first time was right after they dragged me back here. The darkness was sort of keeping me in dark mode, and Aerith couldn't heal me." He threw the energy at the ground again, though it was a much smaller amount this time. "Second time wasn't long after Aerith healed me. It started acting up again like it did just now."

Namine nodded.

Riku pulled more darkness to his fingertips, but this time he pushed it out of him instead of throwing it at the ground. It dissipated soon after leaving him, but the air around it remained tainted for a while.

"What did you mean, earlier?" he asked after a moment. "When you said you had a feeling about… something."

She shifted, a bit uncomfortably. He pretended not to notice, though he really didn't like the fact that she was uncomfortable. He wanted to fix it somehow, but the rational part of his brain told him that there wasn't much of a way to do that when he had no idea what was bothering her in the first place.

"Promise you won't freak out or anything," she said, finally.

"Promise."

"Well…" She was averting his gaze. He wasn't sure if he liked that. He definitely didn't like the fact that she was bothered, but he knew that there wasn't much he could do about that at the moment.

And not being able to do anything about it frustrated him…

Darkness was flooding to his fingertips in response to his frustration. He tossed it to the side.

"When we're apart, sometimes, I-"

She seemed so nervous.

He hated every second of it.

The darkness was flooding to his fingertips again, but he merely tossed it aside, like last time.

"I can sort of see what's happening to you," Namine whispered. "Like I'm seeing it through your eyes."

Riku laughed, a bit relieved.

"_That's_ all?" he asked. "Why would I freak out about that? I mean, it's certainly _weird,_ but it's not _that_ freaky."

"This time, though, I could _feel _it, too," she continued, almost as if he hadn't said anything. "I could feel everything you felt- like a meltdown, but a lot worse, because I knew it wasn't all just in my head. I knew that it was- it was real…"

He turned to her, shocked. She was crying.

His heart wrenched in his chest.

The darkness at his fingertips fizzled and faded.

"Namine," he began, but he didn't know where to go after that.

"I could- I could feel all of your pain," she sobbed. "Every ounce of it and it felt _awful._ Especially because I knew that- that it was only an echo of what _you_ were feeling." She glanced up at him, and then wiped her eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I… It's just, you don't know how- how scared I was. I felt all that pain, and then… nothing. Like you had-"

He took a step towards her, certain now. He grabbed her by the shoulder, gently. "Namine, don't apologize," he told her, quietly. "You had every right to be scared."

"But I didn't know what to _do_," she said. "I- I didn't know what to do, Riku! You were dying, and I couldn't do anything about it, and- I was _scared._ I can't _think_ when I'm scared. It's like my brain just… freezes, and I-"

He started to pull her into a hug, but paused. That didn't feel right. He cupped her cheek in his hand instead.

"Namine," he whispered. "Don't feel so bad. I'm okay now. I'm alive. There's no reason to be scared anymore."

"But what if it happens again…?" she mumbled. She still seemed rather distraught, but she had relaxed at his touch. "I can't think like you do, Riku. I- I can't fix things when they go wrong. I can't-"

He couldn't stand the way she was looking at him. She looked so upset, and _worried._ For _him_. It had been so long since anyone had been even remotely worried about him. That anyone had actually _cared_ about his well-being, let alone feel awful because they couldn't do anything to stop something from happening to him.

Most people didn't even care about him at all. Not even bright, kind, "I'll care about anyone who walks through the front door" Sora from the other universe cared about him.

All Sora cared about was _her_.

And all _she_ cared about was-

Riku quickly shoved the feelings aside; he was growing to end up crying again if he dwelled on them too long, and Namine was _already_ upset. She'd _freak_ if he started crying.

Wouldn't she?

_She_ wouldn't have, but-

The girl standing in front of him-

The girl _crying_ for him-

No one ever cried for him. Hardly anyone took time to realize he was hurting, and those few who did didn't _dare_ cry for him.

Not that it mattered. What mattered was that Namine was crying. It didn't matter what she was crying about, he didn't want her crying at all.

He let go of her shoulder and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Namine, listen," he said. "Next time you feel scared, just scream. I'll come running. Promise."

Hadn't he made this promise before?

And hadn't it blown up in his face?

So why was he-

"But what if you're in danger?" she asked, voice choked. "What if something's happened to you and- and that's the reason why I'm scared? What- what do I do then?"

Because, this time, things were different. That's why.

"Find a way to get to me," he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "And we can figure it out from there."

She nodded.

"O-okay."

He smiled. "You better now?" he asked, quietly. "Done worrying and being scared?"

She nodded again.

"Yeah."

"Good." He took a small step towards her. "I hate it when you're scared."

"I hate being scared, too."

He gently tilted her face up towards his. "I bet I hate it more."

There was laughter in his voice, despite the fact his heart was racing. He slowly brushed a strand of hair out of her face, and then stroked her cheek. She moved with his touch, not flinching away.

It was a surprise.

A nice surprise, but-

She suddenly gasped in slight pain and pulled away, taking a step or so back, and rubbing her hand, like it hurt.

He glanced down at his own hand in something between terror and anger. Sure enough, there was darkness sparking at his fingertips; darkness which had just-

He looked up at Namine. "Are you okay! I- I- gah! I knew this was going to happen!" He angrily chucked the building darkness to the ground. "I knew I was going to end up hurting you!"

"It's fine!" Namine said, quickly. "I'm fine!"

"No, it's _not_ fine!" He threw more darkness at the ground. "I _hurt_ you! How is that-"

"It's my fault."

"How is it _your_ fault!"

"Well… I suggested that you should come here…"

"And so that just automatically makes everything that's happened to me today your fault?" He ran a hand through his hair, now more exasperated than anything else. "Namine, that doesn't even make any sense!"

She stared for a second. "If- if I hadn't pushed you to come…" she muttered. "None of this would have happened." Her voice was quiet, like she _knew_ it wasn't the best answer ever.

"But you didn't know this was going to happen," he argued. "How could you have known – how could anyone have known? – that Sora was going to snap, shove his blade through my chest and then I was going to get superinfused with darkness? How many people does that _normally_ happen to? I mean, sure, if we had known, we probably would've done something different. But we _didn't_ know!"

"I _should've_ known!" Namine shouted. "I know all this _other_ stuff! I know what you're doing when I'm not with you, I get notions of things that are going happen _before_ they happen. I get notions of all sorts of things! Stupid things! So why is it when there's something that _really_ matters, there's- there's nothing! I should've known about this!"

"But you didn't!" Riku said, firmly. "And what you _should've_ done and what you _didn't_ do are two completely different things. _I_ should've died! But I _didn't_ and that's all that matters!"

She stared a second more, and then turned away. "I- I guess you're right…" she sighed, rubbing her hand slightly.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Listen," he said. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "Don't worry about it. It was an accident."

He chuckled. "Actually… I meant for yelling at you."

"Oh." She laughed then, too. "It's fine. I was yelling too."

"So we're good?" he asked, grinning slightly.

She nodded, quite a bit more enthusiastically now.

He broke out into a full grin, and then grabbed her hand again. "Weren't we-"

Something hit him in the back of the head. He swore, and then turned around, trying to see what the heck had hit him and where the heck it had come from. He saw a tennis ball bouncing away, and then Yuffie ran towards it. "Aha!" she exclaimed as she grabbed it, and then jumped in the air with excitement. "Got it!" She turned and stuck her tongue out at-

Riku turned and found, no surprise, Joseph laughing his head off.

"Hey, lover-boy!" Joseph called, grinning. "Hate to interrupt you, but Aerith called us in! She says she has food for us!"

Riku blushed a furious red. He opened his mouth to shout something at Joseph, but he couldn't think of anything that wasn't ridiculously foul. He closed his mouth and just glared instead.

"Let's go then," Namine said, starting off. Riku sighed and followed after.

"Hey, Joseph, you let Yuffie get the ball!" he could hear Toby say from the side.

"So? That was _totally_ worth it!"

He could almost hear Joseph grinning.


	114. Bound by Darkness

OKay, even though I'm lacking reviews from a few people, I'm uploading a chapter anyway.

Oh, and if you care, I waffled on the chapter title for a bit. I liked it here, but there might be somewhere else later that it might fit better...

but, there also might not be, and this beautiful chapter title would go to waste

Also! Still open to suggestions on Riku's dark mode!

* * *

><p>"Speaking of Leon, where is he?" Namine asked.<p>

"In his room, last I checked," Aerith said. "He mentioned something about writing a letter."

"Who's he writing a letter to?" Riku asked, a bit surprised.

"Rinoa," Aerith said. "It's no surprise, really, especially not after what happened the other- wait-" She turned to Tifa, looking rather shocked. "This morning, wasn't it?"

Tifa nodded.

Aerith laughed. "Certainly feels like it's been longer than that! But, anyway, he probably just wants to make sure that she's okay. Not that it matters, he needed to get back in touch with her."

"Who's-" Riku began.

"Darkness!" Tifa interrupted, nodding towards the door. "You really need to go take care of that!"

"I'm going I'm going," he muttered, heading outside. Namine followed after him.

"No need to be so rough on him!" Aerith said, throwing a look at Tifa.

Tifa shrugged, as if it were nothing. She ducked back into the kitchen, and then said: "Aerith, dinner's ready. You want me to take it out of the oven?"

Kairi frowned. "When did you start dinner?"

"Yes, Tifa, if you wouldn't mind," Aerith said, then turned to Kairi. "Shortly after you guys got here. I figured you would be here past dinner."

"Yeah, but…" Kairi laughed, slightly. "There's no way you could've cooked something _that_ fast."

Aerith smiled. "I've learned how to speed up cooking with magic over the years."

"It's no surprise, really," Tifa added, setting down a pan of chicken casserole on the counter.

Aerith moved into the kitchen and pulled a plate out of the cabinet. Tifa handed her a serving spoon and she started dishing a relatively large amount of chicken casserole on to the plate. "Tifa, can you take this up to Cid?" she asked.

"I'll do it," Kairi offered, getting to her feet.

Aerith raised her eyebrows, but handed the plate to Kairi when she came over. "If you don't mind…" she said.

"Might as well do something to help instead of just sitting here," Kairi replied.

Aerith nodded. "He's just up the stairs, first door on the right."

Kairi nodded and headed up the stairs, plate in hand. She stopped at the door she was directed to, and then hesitantly knocked. "Cid?" she called. "I- uh, hate to interrupt you, but Aerith suggested that I bring you food."

"Yeah, yeah, bring it in!"

Kairi slowly opened the door. A man who she assumed was Cid glanced up from what he was doing and yawned slightly. He set down what he appeared to be fixing and then pushed his chair away from the desk.

"That's kind of you," he said.

Kairi shrugged. "I- I offered," she replied with a smile. "Uhm, where do you want me to-"

"Oh!" Cid quickly cleared off part of the desk. "Just- set it there," he said as he started to find a different place to put all the stuff he had to move. Kairi laughed and set the plate down, then started out the door.

"Thank yeh, Kairi."

She paused. "I… never introduced myself…" she said, slowly, turning back around.

He froze, was silent for a moment, and then turned to face her. "Well, I didn't introduce myself either!"

"Yeah… but… Aerith told me who I was bringing food up to…"

"Well…" He paused again. "I- I heard you guys talkin' downstairs."

"Alright," Kairi said. She didn't believe him one bit, but she figured it wasn't worth arguing, especially since she had just met Cid and it was such a stupid thing to argue about. She started for the door again, but something else caught her attention.

It looked like Cid was trying to fix a necklace.

Her eyes widened in shock.

"That's Sora's," she breathed.

"Eh?" Cid glanced up over at her. "Oh, yeah."

"What happened to it?"

"Chain was completely severed; though I think I did a pretty good job fixin' it." He held it up, tugging slightly on it to prove that it was fixed. "Jus' a shame I didn't fix it sooner… Coulda returned it to him…" He scratched his chin.

"It is a shame…" Kairi muttered. "I- I gave it to him for his twelfth birthday; he swore he'd never take it off. Two weeks later was the spring play and Mr. Raines threw a fit, because he didn't think Sora's character would wear anything like it, but Sora refused to take it off…" She smiled slightly at the thought. "He threatened to kick Sora out of the play, but we all knew he wouldn't go through with it. He cast Sora and me for our roles specifically, because he felt the interaction between us would seem more… natural to the audience, since me and Sora knew each other so-" She paused, and then laughed nervously. "Sorry. I was rambling."

"Eh, don' worry 'bout it," Cid said. "The rest of 'em do it all the time. 'Ere." He tossed her the necklace. She caught it, a bit surprised.

"Why-"

"You expect _me_ to hang onto it? It'll get lost in this mess overnight!"

She laughed slightly, and closed her hand around it, holding onto it so tight that she was sure if she didn't let go of it soon it would leave an imprint in her palm.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Don' mention it!"

She turned and headed out the door, closing it behind her, then started down the stairs. She gripped Sora's necklace tighter. It almost felt warm in her hand, but she was sure that that was probably just her own body heat.

She could feel tears forming in her eyes.

She quickly reached up and wiped them away, a bit confused.

_Why am I crying?_ she thought slowly. _I never… never thought anything that…_

While, no, she never had thought anything specifically that would trigger tears, she knew why she was crying. It was the overwhelming thought of him, _her_ Sora; with the memories of when they were kids fresh in her mind, the fact she was holding his necklace in her hands-

_You just miss him,_ she told herself. _You miss that bright kid he used to be. But he's not coming back, and you know it._

_ That's why you're crying…_

_ Because you miss him, and you won't get him back, and that saddens you._

_ Because you know you can't do anything to change it._

She took a deep breath, fought her tears back, then pocketed his necklace and finished making her way down the stairs. Once she hit the bottom, she headed to the kitchen to see if there was anything else that Aerith wanted her to do.

"You can set the table," Aerith said. "There's… nine of us, I think. I mean, I'm not sure if Leon will be joining us, but set a place for him anyway. If he doesn't come down then I'll just take a plate up to him later."

"Do you want me to go tell him there's food?" Tifa asked, as Kairi took a stack of plates to the table.

"I don't want to interrupt him," Aerith replied. "He might second guess himself or something and then he'll never get back in contact with Rinoa."

Kairi almost considered asking who Rinoa was, but decided against it. She didn't even know who Leon was, let alone even understand who anyone here really was. They seemed like nice people, and they were friends of Namine's, so they couldn't be bad. Besides that, she had no idea. It wasn't like she was going to ask, though. She'd just figure it out as she went along.

"I doubt that's going to happen," Tifa said. "He's too worried about her after this morning. It'd be unlike him _not_ to make sure she's okay."

_I wonder what did happen…_ Kairi thought, slowly. _I mean, I know I said I wasn't going to ask, but…_

Curiosity got the better of her.

"What did happen, this morning?" she asked, setting down the last plate and then starting back to the kitchen to get forks. She didn't receive an answer right away. When she glanced over at Tifa and Aerith to see what was up, they were exchanging worried glances and muttering to each other. She wasn't close enough to hear what they were saying, and Aerith had her back to her, so she could only read Tifa's lips.

'Just tell her something, and try not to-' she could see Tifa say.

"He just had a nasty scare, that's all," Aerith said, turning to her. "Someone showed up and told him that she wasn't okay, though it wasn't really someone we could trust. He just wants to make sure…"

Kairi didn't have to know Aerith personally to know that the look on her face meant she wasn't telling the whole truth.

She didn't mention it though.

"Oh," she said, simply. "I guess I don't blame him."

Maybe it was just some private issue.

_Or maybe it has to do with Sora…_ Kairi couldn't help but think, as she went back to setting the table. _He was obviously here earlier. So maybe…_

_ Maybe it was him that told Leon that._

_ And they don't want to tell me because they don't want me to worry or something._

_ Well, I'm NOT worrying. I couldn't care less about what that darkness tainted Sora did._

_ Though…_

She paused, slowly setting down a fork.

_They were almost talking like they knew him personally, though, earlier. And the darkness tainted Sora wouldn't befriend anyone like them…_

_ Maybe…_

_ Maybe he's alright… and he's just… struggling…_

_ Or... he only befriended them so he could hurt them. But... they didn't seem to upset with him… _

She frowned.

_Who am I kidding? He just STABBED Riku in the chest. There's no way that my Sora's still around. He wouldn't do anything like that._

"Kairi, are you okay?" Aerith asked.

She glanced up, and quickly forced her most likely troubled looking face into something closer to blank confusion. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said, and then frowned, a bit annoyed now, which she didn't try to hide. "Why do you guys keep asking if I'm okay?"

"Sorry," Aerith said, smiling and shrugging. "You just looked bothered."

"Oh." Kairi felt a bit bad now for immediately assuming things. "No, I'm-" She paused, realizing something. "Actually, there _is_ something that has been bothering me. I noticed that the two of you nearly did it earlier, but I wrote it off as me merely assuming things. But then Cid did it."

"Did what?"

"Called me by name, even though you've never met me before."

Tifa and Aerith exchanged glances that were somewhere between worry and relief.

Kairi raised her eyebrows.

"Well…" Aerith said, slowly.

Tifa sighed. "What harm could it do?" she asked.

"We met a parallel version of you," Aerith said. "You, Namine, and a girl named Xion from another universe came over and had dinner with us."

Kairi stared for a moment, unsure if Aerith was being serious or not.

"That's… random…" she said, slowly.

"Not too random," another, unfamiliar voice, said. Kairi turned to find someone who, since she had met everyone else here, figured was Leon. "I mean, especially considering just _who_ they were."

"Who were they?" Kairi asked.

"That Namine is the same Namine from the universe that Riku originally came from," Aerith explained. "While, obviously, the rest of them were from that same universe, I think she's the one that matters." She turned to Leon, and smiled. "Good to see you down for dinner! Finish your letter?"

Leon nodded. "I'll send it tomorrow," he said. "Now… why do you think _she_ is so important?"

Aerith shrugged. "Well, given Riku's reaction earlier, and we all know that _he_ wasn't talking about this Namine."

There was something about the way she said "_he_" that gave Kairi the impression that whoever "_he_" was, he wasn't very friendly. Maybe that was the same certain someone who had bothered Leon…

And if "_he_" was Sora…

She wasn't going to ask, though. As curious as she was, she probably had intruded enough.

"Kairi," Aerith said.

"Hmm?"

"Don't mention this to Riku, okay?"

Kairi made a face, even _more_ confused now. "Why not?"

"Something happened… between him and that Namine." Aerith paused, swallowed, then said: "I- I don't know what it was, but you can't even bring him—her up without him crying."

Tifa threw a glance over at Aerith.

"What?" Aerith asked. "It was a slip of the tongue."

"The point is-" Leon began.

"We… probably don't want to mention she's been here," Kairi finished.

"You're quick to catch on," Tifa said with a smile.

Kairi just shrugged.

"She's right, though," Aerith said. "I mean, I don't know what he'd do if we did, but I have a feeling it's not a can of worms we want to open. We should just let it be. He'll figure it out for himself." She sighed, and was silent for a moment, before she finally said: "You guys can sit down if you want; I'll just call everyone else in and we'll eat." She headed to the door.

Leon sat down at the table. Tifa brought the chicken casserole over and set it down in the middle of the table before sitting down herself. Kairi sat down, too, trying her best not to look uncomfortable. She wasn't used to eating with so many people. It was usually just her and her dad.

And Sora, on occasion, before-

"Are you alright?"

She glanced up.

It was Leon who had asked, this time.

She bit her lip, fighting back the fact that she was _really annoyed_ that everyone kept asking her that. "It's just weird… that's all," she said. "It's just me and my dad at home. I don't normally have dinner with this many people."

Leon nodded, seeming to understand.

"Joseph! Give Yuffie back her tennis ball! Dinner's ready!" Aerith called.

Tifa snorted.

"You want me to go find Riku!" they could hear Joseph ask from outside. "I can go find him and tell him there's food!"

"Who's Joseph?" Leon asked.

"He's with them," Tifa explained.

"Ah." He nodded. "Tonight's going to be interesting."

"Tell me about it."


	115. Hiding My Thoughts in My Heart

For starters, chapter 110 had it's title changed. It was intended to be that title originally, but for some reason I forgot. Because there was that whole arc with the chapter titles having to do with "the beast" which was a metaphor (or... is symbol the right word?) for Riku's darkness, and- yeah.

Second of all, I'm going to have to start uploading chapters more often. I mean, I doubt I'll be finishing Dead Inside by August 9th, but even so, it doesn't do me any good if it's finished on paper if it's not entirely uploaded here.

I mean, I was sort of waiting for Flightfoot and Xianit to catch up, considering they haven't reviewed the past like, three chapters (maybe it's only been two) but I'm writing a good almost 7 chapters ahead of where I'm posting. I need to start posting more often.

* * *

><p>There was a wicked grin on Joseph's face when he sat down right across from Kairi. Kairi raised her eyebrows at that, and, noticing, Joseph rolled his eyes and nodded over in Riku and Namine's direction.<p>

They were holding hands.

Confused, Kairi turned back to Joseph and asked: "And how does that explain why you're grinning?"

"I'll tell you later," Joseph said, as Riku sat down next to Kairi and Namine next to him.

"Yeah, if Riku doesn't kill him first," Toby laughed, sitting down next to Joseph.

Riku either didn't hear that or pretended not to and merely continued his conversation with Namine.

"I might kill him before that," Yuffie said, sitting down on the other side of Joseph and glaring at him.

Joseph smiled innocently back at her. "What? Don't you like me?"

Kairi laughed slightly.

"Aerith, we're out of chairs," Leon called.

Aerith stopped what she was doing (getting everyone a glass of lemonade) rather abruptly. "What!" she demanded. "How are we out of chairs? We've had a crowd this large before, haven't we?"

Leon shook his head. "We have five extra people this time around, the most we've ever had recently is three."

Aerith muttered something under her breath that was almost a swear.

There was silence for a moment before Joseph said: "I don't see what the problem is. There's a chair right there." He pointed to the corner of the room where, indeed, a chair did sit. It looked like it had been placed there a while ago and was just collecting dust now.

"Well, yeah," Leon said. "But that's-"

"That's… Zack's chair…" Aerith finished, her voice so quiet it was almost broken.

There was another gap of silence.

Joseph was, again, the first to speak up.

"Who's-"

Yuffie quickly covered his mouth with her hand. "Don't even think of finishing that!" she warned.

Whatever Joseph said next was muffled, but it was most likely some form of protest.

Tifa started to get to her feet. "I can-"

"Don't bother," Aerith interrupted, pouring the last of the drinks. "The food will be cold by then." She returned to the table, tray of glasses in hand.

Tifa slowly sat back down.

"Speaking of which-" Aerith started handing out drinks. "Go ahead and start serving yourself! The food's been sitting there long enough."

"Ew!" Yuffie quickly pulled her hand away from Joseph's mouth. "You _licked_ me!"

Joseph laughed, and Toby laughed, too, though a bit more quietly. Kairi had to stifle some laughter of her own.

Yuffie shot a glare over at her as she wiped her hand on her pants.

"I'm sorry," Kairi muttered. "All my friends were boys when I was little. So stupid jokes like that-" She paused, then sighed. "Nevermind."

Aerith, now done with handing out drinks, pulled Zack's chair over to the head of the table and sat down in it.

"Aerith," Tifa sighed. "You didn't have to-"

"It's fine." Aerith's voice was so certain that Tifa didn't dare argue the matter any more.

They all sat in relative silence for the next few minutes, all quietly eating their dinner. Riku and Namine were still talking, but they were talking in quiet voices to match the atmosphere. Surprisingly, they were still holding hands, too, and yet neither of them had any trouble eating. Though, Riku was the one eating with his left hand, and Kairi wasn't at all surprised that he could.

"Hang on," Namine said, rather suddenly. "Where's Cid?"

"In his room, working," Tifa replied.

Yuffie muttered something that sounded a lot like "thank goodness" but she shoved food into her mouth so quickly after it that no one could reasonably scold her for it.

"What's he working on?" Joseph asked.

"Why do you care?" Riku replied.

"Curious," Joseph said, simply.

"Probably just some project he's been working on for a while," Aerith said.

Kairi slowly closed her hand around Sora's necklace.

Riku glanced over her, curious. "Are you okay?" he asked after a moment, voice hushed.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that!" Kairi demanded, dropping her fork on to her plate and rubbing her head in frustration. "I'm _fine!_"

"I'm sorry, sorry," Riku said, quickly. "I shouldn't have asked- I just- I don't know. Sorry. Forget it."

"It's not just you, Riku," Kairi said. "_Everyone's_ asked me that! And I don't get _why!_"

They all stared at her, and both Aerith and Tifa tried to fumble some sort of response. She sighed and went back to eating.

"Well, you do seem a bit… _off_," Joseph admitted, a frown on his face. "I mean, I didn't say anything earlier, because I was a bit more worried about Namine at the time, but… I don't know… You seem a bit, _angrier_ than usual." He was silent for a moment, before he added. "That, and you're about as moody as Riku."

"Hey!"

"I've just had a bad week at school, found out Sora _stabbed_ someone, and, y'know, have had _five different people_ ask me whether or not I'm okay," Kairi replied, tersely. "Which, while it's nice that you all care, gets annoying when I'm _fine._"

"Kairi… you do realize that the way you're acting now is _way_ overreacting for just having that happen to you, don't you?" Namine asked, voice quiet.

Kairi threw an annoyed glance over at her. "But I'm _fine,_" she repeated, firmly. "I mean, I'd _know_ if I wasn't, wouldn't I?"

"One would think," Riku muttered, his voice so quiet that if Kairi had not been worried about other things, she would wonder about whether or not he had actually meant to say it in the first place.

"It's almost like… something's bothering you," Joseph continued, as if he had not even been interrupted. "But… you don't know what is, or even if something is there, and that subconscious confusion causes all this frustration-"

"You're not a therapist," Yuffie said. "Don't try."

"I think he was doing pretty good," Aerith said.

Tifa suddenly dropped her fork, eyes wide with shock as, apparently, something hit her. "He wouldn't…" she breathed.

"Who wouldn't what now?" Yuffie asked.

Whatever Tifa said next was to Aerith, and Kairi couldn't hear, much to her dismay. She was really tired of being out of the loop like this.

"He couldn't," Aerith said, simply.

_Who couldn't what? _Kairi thought, bitterly. _None of the rest of us are following, you know._

"Sephiroth could, and I wouldn't put it past-" Tifa began.

"But why would he?" Leon asked.

"I bet the answer is 'Why the hell not?'" Yuffie said.

"What are you guys talking about?" Joseph asked.

Tifa cast a hesitant glance in Kairi's direction, which Kairi clearly noticed, before saying: "It's nothing. Really."

"C'mon, don't give me that, I know it wasn't-"

Yuffie clapped her hand over his mouth again, and hissed something in his ear that Kairi couldn't catch. His eyes widened in understanding, and he didn't say anything more after Yuffie pulled her hand away.

Kairi's eyes narrowed in frustration.

Namine rose to her feet, rather suddenly. Though, Kairi (along with probably everyone else) had been ignoring whatever she and Riku were talking about, so it really wasn't a surprise they didn't follow. She simply explained that she and Riku were out of lemonade, and headed to the kitchen to go get them more.

"Here, let me help," Aerith said, getting to her feet.

"That's alright, I got it," Namine laughed.

"Well, Tifa and I are out of lemonade, too, so-"

Kairi sighed and stared at her still nearly full glass of lemonade. She hadn't been drinking it, but she hadn't really been eating, either, so it wasn't a surprise. "I wish they'd stop hiding things from me…" she whispered to herself, angrily.

"You too, huh?" Riku asked, his voice just as quiet.

Kairi glanced over at him, a bit shocked. She didn't think that she had spoken loud enough for _anyone_ to hear. She didn't feel like worrying about it, though, and passed her shock of by asking: "They're hiding stuff from you?" Though she had a feeling she already knew what they were hiding from him.

"Yup. Complete with the hushed voices and unfinished sentences."

Kairi couldn't help but ask: "You noticed?"

"It's hard not to," he replied. She laughed slightly, because that definitely was true. "You happen to know what they're hiding from me?"

She raised her eyebrows slightly, and after a moment of thinking replied with: "Do you know what they're hiding from me?"

Riku stared at her for a second, halfway between disbelief and laughter. "So, what, if I tell you what they're hiding from you, you'll tell me what they're hiding from me?"

"Sounds fair, doesn't it?"

Riku scratched his cheek, and then said: "Well, I'm not _entirely_ sure what it is they're hiding from you. I have a vague idea. But… not enough to pull into some comprehensive explanation." He shrugged. "I know it's about Sora."

Kairi rolled her eyes. "No duh. I knew that already." She didn't bother to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

Riku just shrugged again. "Sorry." Like it was no big deal or something. "What about-"

"You gave me information I already knew," Kairi told him, laughing slightly out of annoyance. "I'm not saying anything unless I'm positive that you already knew it."

"That's ridiculous, Kairi," Riku said. "Just because I can't tell you something doesn't mean you can't help me out."

She didn't say anything.

"Please, Kairi?" His voice was so sincere and almost… helpless.

Shocked, she cast a glance over at him. He was looking at her with mixed emotions on his face; something that was clearly uncertainty, anxiety, and there was a nearly pleading look in his eyes.

"I- I can't… I can't stand this uncertainty," he whispered, voice extremely quiet. "I just… I need to know whether or not it's who I think it's about. All you have to do is deny or confirm my thoughts."

"Who… who do you think it's about?" Kairi asked, quietly.

Riku shifted uncomfortably in his seat, which was an unusual sight for Kairi. Whatever this was, it must've been bothering him.

"I- I think it's about... about _her_. But-" Surprisingly, he shuddered now, and when he continued speaking, it was more to himself than anyone else. "What in the Worlds could they be hiding about _her?_ She- she's a universe away from me…" His voice was so quiet now that Kairi could only barely hear him. "She can't hurt me again…"

"Hmm?" Namine asked, setting down his glass of lemonade in front of him.

Riku looked up at her, and Kairi watched in amazement as the hurt and fear on his face melted and fell into a smile. "Nothing," he told her, all traces of his previous uncertainty completely gone. "It's nothing. Just… stupid stuff."

Namine laughed and sat back down. "Well, then it's not nothing," she said.

Riku was between laughter and embarrassment. "Well, no," he admitted. "But i- it's nothing that matters." The smile on his face was faltering slightly, and slowly becoming more forced. Kairi wasn't sure if Namine noticed or not, but Namine certainly didn't say anything.

_So he hasn't… told her? _Kairi thought slowly, slightly surprised.

_Doesn't want to worry her, I suppose, which is no surprise._

_ But…_

She watched with increasing worry, as Riku became less and less focused on whatever he and Namine were talking about and more and more preoccupied. It was almost a scary thought; the fact not even Namine could calm him down, as she usually could.

_How long can he go on like this?_

Namine noticed finally, and asked him what was wrong. He merely brushed it off as nothing again.

_How long can anyone go on like that, acting like something doesn't bother them?_

_ Eventually, they're going to break._

And the more she watched Riku push the matter aside, the more she began to think that when Riku finally broke, it wasn't going to be pretty.


	116. Yelling

and... part 1 of this behemoth of a conversation

Though, I suppose, it's technically part 2. But the last chapter at least had a decent cut-off...

**Update Feb 2014: **if you're curious about this "parallel version of Kairi" to which Joseph is referring to, you'll wanna check Can't Escape ch24-25. Of course, it does include some of magik's characters, so be warned of that? (I feel like if any of you are avoiding the Crossover though you'd just entirely avoid Can't Escape...)

* * *

><p>They spent the rest of dinner in relative silence, the only exceptions being Namine and Riku talking to each other (no surprise), a spare few comments between Joseph and Toby (most of which were just something Joseph said and Toby laughed at. Toby didn't talk much), and more hushed conversation between Tifa and Aerith with occasional input from Leon. Yuffie appeared to have given up on caring about what they were talking about.<p>

Kairi almost wished she could.

_But they're keeping something from me… and I want to know WHAT, _she thought, a bit angrily.

She pushed around what little was left of her food (a spare piece of chicken, and a few noodles that were too hard for her liking) on her plate, thinking.

_What do I do, though? Ask?_

_Wouldn't that be weird?_

_But… I have a right to know!_

_So I have the right to ask..._

_Don't I?_

She pushed the food around on her plate a bit more.

She couldn't seem to work up the nerve to actually ask, even though she wanted to so badly.

_Things would be so much easier if Sora here, _she thought bitterly.

_I could just ask him, and he'd ask everyone else._

_Though, if Sora were here, then I wouldn't be in this mess that I'm in right now._

The noodle she was currently messing with crunched to pieces beneath her fork.

"Hey, this is random," Joseph said, rather loudly, causing everyone to look up at him. "But, y'know, I'm still curious. How _is_ Sora doing? I mean, I know he snapped and stabbed Riku in the chest and crud, but…" He trailed off.

"He's alright," Tifa said, casting another troubled glance in Kairi's direction. Kairi rolled her eyes. "For the most part, anyway."

_I have half I mind to think that you're just lying to make me feel better, _Kairi thought, still bitter, pushing her food around a bit more to hide her frustration.

"Is he still- huh?" Joseph glanced over at Toby, who had just tugged on his shirt. Toby whispered something to him, and he rolled his eyes. "Toby wants to know why- hang on-" He paused, as if rethinking how he was going to word this. "No, that was right," he said after a moment. "Toby wants to know why Sora's face was all bandaged. He get hurt or something?"

"He got in a nasty fight, didn't he?" Yuffie said.

Leon nodded. "And left with a nasty gash across his face," he added, reaching up and tracing the scar that ran across the bridge of his nose.

Aerith threw a glance at him. "Now we don't need _you_ getting all depressed, too!" she warned.

He shrugged. "I'm sorry. I can't say that sentence and _not_ think of it!"

"What happened to you?" Joseph asked.

"Got into a nasty fight, left with a nasty gash on my face which turned into a nasty scar," Leon explained simply.

"Which is probably going to be what'll happen to Sora," Tifa said. "Especially since he left like he did." There was annoyance in her voice, but it was accompanied with worry and another glance in Kairi's direction.

Kairi's eyes narrowed slightly. This was really getting annoying.

"Which reminds me," Aerith turned to Riku. "Do you have any idea what happened to him?"

Riku shook his head. "Nope. We fought, I knocked him back, I passed out. I have no idea what he did after that."

"Which means we have no idea where he is…" Tifa said, slowly.

There was silence for a moment.

Kairi shifted slightly in her seat, unsure of what to do. Her insides felt all funny. It was like part of her wanted to be worried about Sora, and the other part just didn't want to care; didn't think it was _worth it_ to care. She wasn't sure which part of her she wanted to give into, and it felt weird to be so conflicted like this.

She didn't like it, either.

Plus, she was still pretty frustrated at everyone for dodging the subject of Sora like they were, which didn't help matters at all.

"Why did Sora stab you, anyway?" Joseph asked, looking over at Riku.

Riku shrugged and made a face, thinking about it. "I don't know," he admitted. "We were talking, then he started acting weird, and I must've said something that pissed him off or something, 'cause then he just stabbed me."

Kairi rubbed her head.

_The image of Riku on his knees, clutching a bloody wound. Sora was standing above him, looking as confused as heck, like he didn't know what was going on._

She had felt so scared.

_But then- the image that Namine had drawn, of Sora stabbing Riku._

_That look in his eyes-_

_Not confusion. Not fear. But cruel, sick, enjoyment._

She could almost hear him laughing.

"He just stabbed you? Out of nowhere?" Joseph asked, his voice filled with eager curiosity.

Riku nodded.

Kairi closed her eyes, fighting back the tears.

It was such a sad thought….

Her Sora. Brought down to such a level that he would just stab anyone, for no real reason, but merely just to enjoy their pain.

It frustrated her, too.

And the frustration inside of her was only building, about to boil-

"Then what happened?" Joseph asked.

"Really?" Riku sounded rather exasperated.

"I'm curious!" Joseph argued.

_You need to stop worrying about him, Kairi, _she told herself, angrily, forcefully. _He's GONE. Your Sora is GONE! He's been lost to the darkness._

_No sense missing him!_

_It won't bring him back._

"I don't honestly-"

"Riku, stop," Tifa said, abruptly. "I think it would be best if we just… talked about something else."

This was accompanied with yet another worried glance in Kairi's direction.

Kairi's frustration boiled over.

She looked up at Tifa, something close to a glare on her face. "Why? Because you don't think I can handle it!" she found herself shouting. Everyone was staring at her now, and she was starting to shake, either out of embarrassment or anger. She couldn't tell which, and she only continued her rant, though she felt like she shouldn't. "I couldn't care _less_ about him! I don't care if he stabbed Riku in the chest, I don't care if he insulted five different people, I don't care if he hurt you, I don't care what he said to you! Because that darkness tainted and corrupted Sora that you've come to know is not _my_ Sora." She was somewhere between tears and bitter laughter, and either way, her voice was cracking by now. "My Sora is gone, and has been gone for a while, and won't be coming back. Yes, I'm sad that he's gone. Yes, I miss him, I'd be crazy not to! But missing him isn't going to change anything."

No one said anything.

They were all just staring at her.

She swallowed, unsure of what to say.

Riku looked shocked. Namine looked _scared._ Toby looked confused. Joseph looked positively stunned. Yuffie had a look that was a mixture between the two. There was a look on Tifa's face between worry and sheer horror, a look that was reflected on Aerith's face, and then again reflected (though to a much lesser extent) on Leon's face.

"What!" Joseph shouted, finally, breaking the silence. He practically lunged across the table at her in his desperation. "Nononononono. You can_not_ have just said what I think you just said!" He sounded absolutely panicked, and was actually about halfway on the table now he was so frantic. "I mean, there's no way- I- I _asked_ and you said- well- it wasn't you- it was a parallel version of you- but-"

"You met a parallel version of Kairi?" Riku interrupted.

Joseph paused mid-rant and glanced at him. "Yeah. Ended up in the wrong Twilight Town once, and ran into a parallel version of her, and a parallel version of you, and a parallel version of Sora, and- and… Hmm…" He was silent for a moment, thinking. "Oh! Axel! Axel was there, too, of all people!"

"Axel?" Riku asked.

"Axel," Joseph replied. "Anyway, back to the point, I _asked_ her, and she said-"

"How is she the same as me?" Kairi interrupted.

Joseph stopped short. He made a face, thinking about it. "Cl-close parallels," he stuttered. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. "I- I mean- things are similar across close parallels. I figured- It- it was such a generic question- I just- I assumed that- I- I thought…"

"Well you thought wrong," Kairi said. "She obviously hasn't been through all the pain that I've been through. How could she be able to answer a question in my place? Especially about Sora."

"I- I just-"

He was seriously crying, now, but Kairi found it hard to care.

"I had my heart broken, torn out of me, and then thrown in the trash."

Riku winced slightly after she said that.

"And you think that just because some other girl shares the same name as me, she can tell you what I feel? That she knows what's it's like to have her best friend scare her to death and then laugh in her face when she tries to go to him for comfort? How could anyone-"

"Would you forgive him?" Joseph whispered, his voice quiet, but firm despite his tears. "That- that's all I asked. If he was- was truly sorry for what he'd done, would you forgive him?"

"Who's there left to forgive?" Kairi asked, bitterly. "That darkness corrupted Sora? When there's no guarantee that he's not just lying to me?"

"What if it was your Sora?" Tifa asked, suddenly. Kairi threw a glance that was half a glare over at her.

"What if it was your Sora?" she repeated. "What if he was still there, somewhere, struggling to find a way back to you? What if he begged for your forgiveness? Would you forgive him?"

"In a heartbeat," Kairi replied. "But he's gone."

Surprisingly, Tifa smiled.

"Kairi, listen to me," she said, voice kind. "There is no such thing as 'gone'. He may be lost, but that doesn't mean he can't find his way, and that doesn't mean you should give up hope."

XXX

"He's _not_ here!" he told the wolf, impatiently.

The wolf replied with an angry bark which he figured meant something like: 'Idiot, of course he's here!' given the tone in the bark.

Angry, Sora's Shadow yanked on the chains around its neck, hard, until it yelped in pain. It was glaring at him, as much as a dog could glare, that is. It definitely didn't look happy, which was good. "Don't take that tone with me!" he shouted, and the wolf flinched slightly. He grabbed it by the ear. "He is not here!" he repeated, slowly, loudly, to be sure that the wolf could hear and would understand him. "I would feel it if he was! Now where is he!"

The wolf gave a deep half-growl as a response, then shook its head.

"You don't know!" Sora's Shadow demanded. "How can you not know!"

The wolf pawed its nose.

"Oh, just great, you can't find the scent!" he groaned. "Some great tracking-wolf _you_ turned out to be!"

The wolf turned on him and pounced, knocking him to the ground. It was right in his face, growling, teeth showing, its claws digging into his chest. He glared right back at it.

"Bad dog!" he said, trying to shove it off. It didn't budge. "Get off of me!"

It merely continued to growl at him.

His glare deepened, and he shifted his weight slightly. In one swift movement, he shoved the wolf off, wrestled it to the ground, and held it there. There was no fear in the wolf's eyes, only anger.

"You do _not _jump on me!" he said, firmly.

The wolf only growled, and its eyes flashed Heartless-yellow. Sora's Shadow could feel its form trying to change below him, and he quickly grabbed the chains around its neck and held it there, telling the darkness that composed its form to _stay put_.

"I'll give you a minute," he said, releasing it. "Find his scent!"

The wolf got to its feet, shook itself off, and then grabbed him by the hand and pulled him forward. Apparently, it had known where Sora's scent lead all along, and just refused to say anything about it.

Sora's Shadow was determined to make sure that that never happened again.

However, the next three Worlds that the wolf led him through had no trace of Sora, either. He was beginning to think that the wolf didn't even know where Sora was. Whoever had taken Sora was apparently very intent on not being found.

They stopped after the tenth World. The wolf flopped down to the ground, apparently extremely tired. Sora's Shadow was too annoyed to care, and tired himself. He sat down on a nearby rock and buried his head in his hands.

"Where could he _be!_" he seethed.

He was, honestly, getting slightly worried. He always knew where Sora was. Always. He was sure it was impossible for him _not_ to know where Sora was.

Yet… he didn't.

_Maybe I can just-_ he thought, slowly, gathering energy to teleport himself to Sora. Maybe it would just take him there…

There was a bemused look in the wolf's eyes as it watched him, a look that clearly said: 'You already tried that.' And that statement was most likely followed by the question: 'Why is it going to work _this_ time?'

He glared.

However, his plans to yell at the wolf for being completely useless were forgotten as a feeling like glass shattering surged through him. He cringed.

His hold on Kairi had broken.

And, though he was not closely tied enough to Kairi to tell what was happening-

His connection to the lies he had created was enough to tell him _who_ had shattered them.

He clenched his hands into fists so tight that if he wasn't wearing gloves, his fingernails would've dug into his skin and made him bleed.

If, of course, he could bleed…

"Dammit, Tifa!" he swore. "Next time we meet, you better hope I- No." He rose to his feet. "No. This isn't going to happen. I did not do all that work just for stupid Tifa to break it only after a day that it's been in effect."

He turned to the wolf.

"Get up! We're going to go stop this!"

The wolf glared at him and refused to move.

He kicked it in the side.

It bit his ankle.

He grabbed it by the chains and pulled it up.

"I am your _master_," he hissed. "And you will listen to me. Now come!"

He dragged the wolf with him to Hollow Bastion, determined to fix what Tifa had broken, and maybe break Tifa in return.

He _was_ getting stronger, after all.

He doubted that, even with all her damn light, she'd be able to defend herself against him.


	117. Crying

sorry I haven't been updating... I've been distracted...

* * *

><p>"Kairi, listen to me," Tifa said, voice kind. "There is no such thing as 'gone'. He may be lost, but that doesn't mean he can't find his way, and that doesn't mean you should give up hope."<p>

"How- how do you know?" Kairi asked, voice cracking slightly, unable to handle the hope that was threatening to creep back into her.

"Because I look at you, and I see me. And if what's happening with Sora now is _anything_ like what happened to Cloud only a few years ago, then he needs you. More than anything."

"He… needs me?" Kairi repeated, slowly, still not quite believing it.

"I think I understand what's going on, now," Tifa said. "Because I ran into Sora in Olympus Coliseum and I don't think he was as bad as he was today. Granted, I was a bit more focused on Cloud, because he had just been stabbed in the gut. Again."

"Again?" Namine asked.

"It's a recurring theme with Sephiroth," Tifa explained.

"Shish-ka-Cloud," Yuffie coughed.

Tifa had to stifle a laugh. "Yuffie," she said, slowly, still trying to stifle her laughter. "As- as funny as that is, that's very mean." She laughed then. "But it's true. Anyway-" She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Back to my point. Sora has been here before, right? And was he-"

"He was struggling," Leon said. "But… it definitely wasn't as bad as it was today."

"And when he showed up last night?"

"He was worse," Aerith admitted. "But I figured that was just the trauma of being injured like he was, and that put him a bit… off. Then his Shadow-"

"His what?" Kairi asked.

Leon and Aerith exchanged worried and slightly exasperated looks. Leon looked like he wanted to groan.

"Jerk face who's trying to drag him back into darkness," Yuffie said. "And we'll leave it at that because the rest of the details are confusing and we don't have time for them right now."

"Okay…" Kairi said, slowly, though she desperately wanted to know more.

"Back to your point, Tifa," Leon sighed. "And be quick about it, for Kairi's sake."

"And gentle," Aerith added.

"Aerith, you know I can't-"

"Can you try?"

Tifa sighed.

"Kairi, you were under the impression that Sora was gone and had given up all hope that he would return to you, right?"

"Yes…" Kairi replied slowly, suddenly dreading where this was headed.

Tifa opened her mouth to continue, then paused. She was silent for a moment, thinking about what she was going to say, and finally said: "Let me put it this way… You're hope was like a lifeline holding him up. And when that hope, his lifeline, suddenly disappeared… he snapped."

Kairi stared for a moment, processing that. "So…" She swallowed. "Basically… you're saying that… that everything that happened today is… my fault?"

Tifa made a face. "Well…" She didn't appear to know how to respond to that. "I guess you could assume that, but-"

"You were being used," Leon interrupted. "While, yes, your lack of faith in Sora probably caused him to snap, it's not your fault. Someone _forced_ you to think that, and then while Sora was vulnerable they used him."

Kairi buried her face in her hands.

"I- I feel awful…" she mumbled. "I mean, I- I can't believe-"

The rest was drowned in tears.

She wiped her eyes, but it really did no good, because the tears just kept coming.

"Stage two…" Leon muttered, seemingly to himself, taking a sip of his lemonade.

Riku raised his eyebrow. "Stage two of what?"

"Kairi's had her thoughts altered by darkness," Aerith explained. "And this is, sadly, the only way to make her snap out of it."

Riku started to say something, but Joseph suddenly appeared next to him through a dark corridor, and he ended up nearly jumping out of his seat instead. "Holy-! Joseph!" he exclaimed, before he settled on glaring.

"Kairi needed a hug," Joseph explained, giving Kairi a hug. She was still crying and didn't even seem to notice. "And there was a table in my way."

"You were already halfway on the table, couldn't you have just climbed over it?"

"That'd be rude."

"But you- urgh."

"What was stage one?" Namine asked, as Tifa got to her feet and went over to Kairi, too, and started talking to her, trying to calm her down.

"Getting them to realize whatever they've been forced to think isn't true," Leon said.

"Stage two is dealing with their reaction and calming them down," Aerith said.

"And for everyone's sake, I hope we skip stage three," Leon said.

"What's stage three?" Joseph asked, plopping down in Tifa's empty seat.

Aerith, Leon, and Yuffie grimaced.

"It's… not pretty," Aerith said, finally. "Nothing terrible, but-"

"Not pretty," Leon finished.

Yuffie laughed slightly. "Remember that one time when it took an hour for stage three to hit me?" Yuffie asked.

"Vividly," Leon sighed.

Yuffie flushed. "Oh yeah. I forgot I-" She trailed off, and then laughed nervously. "Sorry about that."

Leon didn't reply.

The silence that followed was only interrupted by the voices of Kairi and Tifa. Kairi sounded like she might've been ranting, but her voice was too quiet for anyone to really tell.

"Aerith," Leon said, finally. "You should probably get the bowl. Just in case."

Aerith nodded and got to her feet and then headed to the kitchen.

"How do you guys know all this?" Namine asked.

"We've all had it happen to us at least once," Leon said.

"More than once," Yuffie corrected. "It was Sephiroth's favorite trick."

Leon sighed. "Cloud's prone to guilt," he explained to those across the table who didn't understand. "So if Sephiroth made one of us mad at him, he was more susceptible to the darkness."

"Sephiroth was Cloud's Shadow, right?" Riku asked.

Leon nodded.

"And he did it to all of you?"

"Aerith was his most frequent target," Yuffie said. "But, yeah."

Riku, Namine, and Joseph turned to Leon for an explanation. He looked like he wanted to groan.

"It's just because…" he began, and then paused. He leaned forward in his seat then, and continued in a quieter voice: "Considering what happened… it's… it wasn't hard for him to convince her that it was Cloud's fault that Zack-"

Something clattered to the floor in the kitchen.

"It's a good thing that bowl's plastic," Yuffie muttered.

"You alright, Aerith?" Leon called.

"Yeah!" she called back.

"What happened to-" Riku began.

"Don't say it!" Joseph interrupted.

"Why not?"

"I don't think Za- he's a safe subject to talk about."

Leon shook his head.

Aerith came back from the kitchen then, preventing further conversation. She was carrying a large, orange, plastic bowl, which she set down on the table.

"How's Kairi doing?" she asked.

"Better," Tifa replied, walking over. "I don't think we're done with stage two quite yet, though," she said, voice quiet. "She's got a lot of stuff she needs to get off her chest, and I can't tell what's tangled in this mess and what's not."

"Let her rant," Leon said with a shrug. "She'll feel better once it's all out, whether it was tangled or not."

Tifa nodded, then went back to Kairi and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, why don't you tell Riku what you just told me?"

Kairi looked up, cheeks red.

"But I-"

"Give me your worst!" Riku laughed. "I can almost guarantee that it won't be the worst I've heard."

"It's just-" Kairi began, but stopped. Her cheeks grew even redder, and she was shaking now. She looked down at her lap. "It-" She tried again, her voice threatening to break. "Nothing's been the same ever since _you_ showed up!" she said, finally, though it came out more like a scream.

Riku stared at her, the look on his face suggesting that he wasn't sure if he should be taken aback or offended or both. "Okay…" he said, slowly. "That was not what I was expecting at all…"

She winced. "Sorry, Riku, I didn't mean it like- I-" She sighed. "I just… miss those days, when we were kids and all we had to worry about was homework and complaining about bedtimes. Those days when the moment I stepped out of my boat and onto the smaller island Sora would come running up to me, hastily explain the day's fairytale, and then run off to kill some invisible monster before I could ask for details." Her voice was so quiet it was almost impossible to hear her. "Not that- not that I expected those days to last forever, but-" She swallowed and squeezed her eyes shut, as if holding back tears. "I feel like I lost him the day you showed up."

He stared at her, unsure of what to say. No one else said anything, either.

After a moment, Kairi just continued talking.

"We stopped spending so much time together, after you got there," she explained. She was fingering something beneath the table, almost nervously. "We started talking less, and even when we did I- I always felt like he was hiding something from me. He never did that. We'd always tell each other what was wrong, right when we knew what was wrong ourselves. Before that, usually. And together we'd figure out what was bothering us and how to deal with it. But-" Her voice, though certain despite that she was shaking, portrayed a lot of hurt. "I didn't find out that he was jealous of you until I asked."

"He was jealous of me?" Riku asked, bewildered.

"No duh, Riku, even I knew that," Joseph muttered.

"Do you know how much he loved fairytales?" Kairi said, and her voice almost had bitterness in it now. Tifa squeezed her shoulder; like a warning. "His dream, when he was a kid, was to travel the worlds and kill monsters."

"He… he got what he wanted, though," Namine said.

"But before he did-" Her voice was somewhere between bitterness and pain. "Riku shows up, wielding that power and magic he'd wanted his entire life-"

"I'm sorry," Riku whispered.

"Don't be," Kairi replied, voice equally as quiet. "It's not your fault. I'm sorry for being so- so-" She buried her face in her hands, and Riku could see now that she was holding Sora's necklace. "It's just- he started, I don't know, _changing,_" she sobbed. "He was always so frustrated, he was quicker to get angry, it was harder to make him laugh- I- I should've seen it coming. I should've! I should've stopped it! But I- I didn't. I just- sat back and let it happen. I didn't know how to stop him, so I didn't try, and by the time I knew that I really wanted to, that I _had to_, it was too late-"

"Kairi," Tifa said, gently.

"Too late for me to save him!" Kairi continued. "By the time I realized I had to save him I couldn't because he was too far gone!"

"I'm confused…" Toby said, slowly. "What happened to him?"

Kairi glanced up at him, eyes wide with sorrow and looking much like she was going to start sobbing again. Joseph hastily got to his feet and pulled Toby aside to start explaining things.

"Kairi," Tifa said again, firmer this time.

"I- I could've stopped him," Kari whispered, tears catching her voice again. "I- I could've _saved_ him. If I- If I had just asked him what was wrong sooner, deterred his frustration, if I had-"

"Kairi!" Tifa interrupted. "Don't start with the could'ves and the should'ves and the ifs. They don't mean _anything!_ All that matters is what's happening _now_."

"Then all that matters is that he's _gone_," Kairi whispered.

"He is not gone," Tifa said, firmly. "He is lost. Those are two completely different things."

"But if he's lost, then he's not coming back, and he's as good as gone."

"Lost things can be found!"

"But how am I supposed to find him!" Kairi's voice was rising to an annoyed shout. "And even if I do find him, what am I supposed to do? I couldn't keep him from falling into darkness, so how am I supposed to pull him out of it now!"

"Kairi, I know you feel like you're useless, but you…" Tifa trailed off, as Kairi wasn't even listening to her anymore. Kairi had buried her face in her hands and was crying again.

"I- I miss him so much!" she sobbed, though whether or not she actually cared if anyone heard her or not was a mystery. "He- he meant the world to me, and now he's gone, and-"

"He's not gone," Tifa argued, but Kairi didn't listen.

"And it hurts! Do- do any of you know how much it _hurts_ to lose someone you care _so much_ about? Especially when… when there was nothing you could do to save them…"

"E-excuse me…" Aerith whispered, slowly backing out of the room.

Leon cast a worried glance after her.

Yuffie started to get up. "Should I-"

Leon shook his head. "She'll be okay."

Yuffie sat back down.


	118. More Yelling

this is... slightly random. However, I want you guys to tell me what you think happened to Zack (concerning his, y'know, death and everything) based on clues that I've given you so far throughout Dead Inside. (and, to be honest, I have given you a LOT of clues)

Be sure to be specific! I'm looking for a certain detail that I honestly think none of you will catch. If you DO catch it, I will- well, I don't know what I'll do, but I'll definitely figure out some kind of prize for you!

* * *

><p>"Kairi, listen to me," Tifa said, and it sounded like she was struggling to keep herself calm. "You just can't give up."<p>

"Why? It's not like hoping will change anything, and I'm not getting him back."

"Stop that!" Tifa said, warningly. "That attitude won't get you anywhere! And he is not gone!"

"How do you know!" Kairi shouted, angry again.

Tifa started with a response, but Kairi wouldn't hear it.

"Never mind how you know! How am I supposed to believe you! All I've seen and heard today is that Sora's still as bad as he was if not worse! Where's the proof that he's okay? Hmm?" Kairi was surprisingly bitter. "How do I know you're not just lying to make me feel better?"  
>"Why would we lie to you!" Tifa replied, sounding just as angry and looking like she might want to punch something.<p>

"I don't know!" Kairi admitted. "But I don't really have a reason to believe what you're saying is true, either!"

"We're only trying to help!" Tifa insisted.

"Fat lot of good that's done!" Kairi laughed, bitterly. "I've only felt worse since I came here!"

"If you'd just get it through your head that _he is not-_"

"_Enough_!" Leon was on his feet, gripping the edge of the table to steady himself. He looked between Tifa and Kairi, not necessarily glaring, but definitely angry. They both quieted; Tifa with mild annoyance, but Kairi with relative respect. She didn't have to live here to know that Leon only got angry when need be, and when he was angry he meant business.

"I, for one, have had enough yelling, enough crying, and enough anger for one day! And since you aren't going to be responsible enough to stop it, I guess it's up to me."

"Sorry!" Aerith called from the other room.

"Don't be!" Leon said, firmly. "You have every right to be upset right now, and you don't need to be responsible for everyone, either!"

Tifa frowned at him.

"Oh, I'm not responsible enough, am I?"

"Tifa-" It sounded like he was struggling to stay calm. "If you haven't noticed, yelling at Kairi isn't doing anyone any good. Because whatever Sora's Shadow did to her he doesn't want _un_done, and yelling at her is only making things worse."

"She's not listening to me!

"Because you're _yelling_!"

Everyone flinched slightly. Leon did not raise his voice often, but when he did he was scary. Kairi turned away, ashamed, because she had been yelling too. Namine scooted closer to Riku, who seemed shocked by Leon, but not scared. Yuffie was somewhere between shock, fear, and laughter. Tifa wasn't fazed.

"Yelling is only making her angry," Leon explained, calmly. "And anger feeds darkness, and the darkness is reinforcing whatever it made her believe in the first place. You are not helping!"

"It's better than-"

"No it's not and you know it!" He leaned across the table and continued in a whisper that was still somehow a shout: "I'm tired of treating everyone like they're glass, too! But we still have to be careful, and it doesn't mean we _have to yell!_" His voice rose to a shout as he finished.

Tifa scowled.

"You're yelling at me!"

"You aren't listening!"

"Kairi wasn't listening!"

"You want to take this outside!"

Tifa stared for a second.

"Would that make you feel better?" she asked.

"We'd certainly be somewhere where we could _yell_ without _offending_ anyone!" Leon said.

"Let's go then!"

"Fi-" He paused. "No." He swallowed. "No." He was shaking slightly, and he gripped the edges of the table tighter.

"You were the one who suggested it!" Tifa said, annoyed.

"I know. But staying inside is the only thing keeping me from-" He broke off, swallowed again, then said: "We're going to get in a fight if we go out there."

She frowned in confusion.

"Don't you want to punch me in the face right now?" he asked.

Her frown turned into a blank stare. "Well…"

"Don't deny it," Yuffie muttered. "I see you reaching for your gloves."

Tifa swallowed. "And you-?" she began.

"I thought about it," Leon said with a disappointed shake of his head.

"Why-"

"He's baiting us, can't you see?" Leon's voice was surprisingly bitter. "Turning us against each other! Don't you hear him laughing?"

Tifa shook her head.

Leon rolled his eyes. "Not surprised," he said, still a bit too bitter for comfort. "You are a bit _bright_ and he and bright don't mix. I'm surprised he even managed to do anything to Kairi with how bright she is!"

"And just _what_ did he do to me?" Kairi demanded.

"Forced you to believe Sora is gone," Tifa said, annoyed. "We've been over this."

"But Sora _is _gone."

"No, that's just a lie that's been fed to you. _He is not gone_!" She said this with a lot of force, but Kairi didn't even flinch.

"Yes he is!" she replied, just as forceful. "He lost himself to the darkness!"

"Kairi, there is a difference between lost and gone!"

"How do you-"

"Stop it!" Leon said, voice nearly a shout. Kairi quickly closed her mouth. Tifa glared.

"I am _tired_ of all this _yelling!_" Leon said.

"Says the man who's _yelling at me!_" Tifa replied.

"This is why I haven't talked to Rinoa in so long!" Leon said, rather suddenly. There was anger in his voice. "Because I'm afraid she'll want to come over and something like _this_ will happen!"

Everyone stared at him.

"I mean, I might as well go tear up that letter I just wrote her, because not talking to her is definitely better than having her see us fight like this!"

Tifa stared a second more. "This isn't like you, Leon," she said, slowly.

"And neither is all this yelling!" he replied. "Even for you this is ridiculous!"

"Even for me?" Tifa glared. "Are you saying I yell a lot?"

"Yes, you do!" Leon said. "But it hasn't been _this_ much since-"

"Sephiroth," Yuffie finished, quietly. "No one's yelled this much since Sephiroth was around."

Tifa's eyes went wide with shock. "He is baiting us…" she whispered, sinking into the chair behind her.

Leon took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.

"Why, though?" Yuffie asked. "We aren't connected to Sora."

"No, we aren't," Leon said. "But _she_ is!" He pointed at Kairi. "And _she-_"

"_She_ has a name, and would like to be included in this conversation!" Kairi interrupted, annoyed.

Leon sighed. "Your faith in Sora has been holding him up for a while now. And whatever his Shadow forced you to believe is cutting that faith off, making it easier for him to drag Sora into darkness. He's keeping _us_ arguing so that _you _don't find out the truth."

"We've been over this already," Tifa muttered.

"What truth?" Kairi asked. "Sora's gone!"

"No he's not!" Both Leon and Tifa said this, though Leon was fairly calm about it, and Tifa was on her feet and shouting again.

Namine rubbed her head. Riku glanced down at her, worried. Tifa and Kairi continued to yell at each other, and Leon continued his attempts to calm them down. It wasn't working.

Riku tuned them out.

"What is it?" he asked Namine, quietly.

"Headache…" Namine mumbled.

Riku frowned. "Is it because they're yelling, or is it-"

"I- I can't tell. I can't tell anymore."

There were tears in her voice.

He swallowed, and rose to his feet.

"Oi!" he snapped, raising his voice above everyone else's. "Stop with the shouting! Namine's getting a headache!"

They quieted for a moment.

Then Leon groaned.

"Not you too…"

Riku laughed. "I'm only angry because Namine's hurting. If he was messing with me, I'd be a lot more upset right now." It was hard to believe that statement, though, when his voice was shaking with his anger and his fists were sparking with darkness.

"Riku!" Tifa scolded, noticing the darkness. "You need to get that under control!"

"You don't think I'm trying!" he replied. He shook his hand slightly, to banish the darkness, but the darkness wouldn't listen to him. "What more do you expect me to do?"

"Maybe if you weren't so angry-"

"Maybe if you weren't _yelling!_"

"_You_ aren't helping," Yuffie said, casting an annoyed glance in Riku's direction.

"Yes, let's argue with the boy who's angry and can't quite control his darkness!" Riku said, sarcastically, and let the darkness at his fingertips flare up for a second to further emphasize his point.

"You guys might want to listen to him!" Joseph said, but no one heard him.

"What are we gonna do?" Toby asked, throwing a worried glance at Joseph.

Joseph shrugged. "I don't know how to get their attention."

Toby summoned some lightning to him. "I could-"

Joseph shook his head. "We're guests here, and I don't want to hurt Kairi, and Riku and lighting are a bad combination."

Toby grimaced, but nodded and banished the lightning. "Sorry I can't do just fire…"

"Maybe we can ask one of them about it, once they stop arguing," Joseph suggested. "They might know."

"Oh, so it's _my_ fault!" Kairi said, in response to Riku's angry accusation that wasn't entirely directed at her, but-

"Not… directly…" Leon argued, but it was no use.

"Well if you'd_ listen_, then maybe we could _stop yelling!_" Tifa said.

"If you'd just _let it go_, you wouldn't be _yelling_ in the first place!" Kairi replied.

"But Sora's not gone!"

"If it'd stop the _yelling_, I agree with Kairi," Riku said.

"She's not going to let it go!" Yuffie laughed.

"No, I'm not," Tifa agreed. "Because without you, Sora's only going to get worse!"

"And where's the proof?"

"I think what happened today is enough proof!"

"Yeah, proof that he's _gone!_"

"_He is not gone!_"

"At any rate-" Riku had to scream to be heard, though there was still somehow humor in his voice. "I think Sora can survive one more day while we all _calm down!_"

Leon groaned and rubbed his head.

"Riku… you're not…" Namine whispered, but her voice was lost in the turmoil.

"So you just want her to give up on him!" Tifa demanded.

"I don't see why you have any right to make me do otherwise," Kairi replied.

"Stop arguing!" Leon shouted.

"And who put _you_ in charge!" Tifa said, rounding on him.

"Well, since _you're _acting as immature as Yuffie-"

"Hey!" Yuffie protested.

"You're no better!"

"I'm at least being reasonable!"

"You're _yelling_!"

"_So are you!_"

"What do you mean I'm immature!"

"You want to take this outside!"

"Tifa, I already answered that question!"

"I've been good tonight!"

"Maybe if we actually fight-"

"And you _want_ to give him that satisfaction!"

"Maybe he'd leave us alone!"

"He'd leave you alone if you left _me_ alone!" Kairi pointed out.

"But you can't give up on Sora!" Tifa said, exasperated.

"And why do you have the right to tell me that?" Kairi did not yell, but the anger in her voice was clear.

"You said yourself that you'd forgive him!"

"I said I'd forgive _my_ Sora! But _my_ Sora is gone!"

"No he's not!"

Namine clutched her head tighter.

"SHUT UP!" Riku roared, pounding his fist on the table. Some of his darkness lashed out, but it did no more than scare them.

There was silence for a moment.

"There was no need for that…" Leon said, finally, with a calm anger burning in his voice.

"None of you were listening," Riku replied, simply, eyes threatening. "Namine was hurting, and I'm not a fun person to deal with when she's in pain."

Namine stumbled to her feet.

"Riku… you don't…"

"I KNOW I DON'T!" he screamed. Bitter tears were starting down his cheeks, and he hoped desperately that no one noticed.

"Riku! Calm yourself!" Tifa warned.

He rounded on her, the darkness around him burning dangerously, ready to-

Something threw him into the wall and held him there. He let out a cry that was half pain and half anger, before glaring at the spear that went through his shoulder (the left one) and then the wall.

"What are yeh all yellin' about!" Cid demanded.

A roar of voices rose to answer him, and he yelled over them to get them to quiet down again.

"One at a time!"

"Sora's Shadow," Yuffie said, simply. "Is making us all _yell_ at each other and no one has the sense enough to calm themselves down!"

Cid looked at her, curiously. "This comin' from _you?_" he asked, sounding surprised. "I expected Leon teh answer me!"

She grinned. "Sora's Shadow ain't got nuttin' on me!"

The roar of voices rose up again in angry response to this. They all stopped, rather abruptly, when Joseph hauled himself onto the table and stood dead center of all of them.

"I think that's enough yelling," he said, calmly, but the look in his eyes let them know that he meant business.


	119. Enough Yelling!

hey! Want answers to your theories about Zack? GO TO MY BLOG! The post about Zack is not the most recent post (that's the post about this chapter) but the second most recent post! Kay? Cool.

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><p>Riku pulled Cid's spear out of his shoulder. "Was that <em>really<em> necessary?" he asked, half yelling in his annoyance.

"Sorry. Yeh seemed like you'd be the least offended if I threw something at yeh."

Riku made a face and grumbled something, before dropping the spear to the ground.

"Hey!" Cid snapped. "Watch yer-"

He stopped when Joseph held up his hand, looking more bewildered than anything else.

"Riku, go get healed," Joseph said, waving him off.

Riku looked like he thought about arguing, but his bleeding shoulder must've made him think otherwise, because he headed to the other room where Aerith was. Namine followed shortly after him.

Joseph sighed, then looked at everyone else. "Now," he said. "I think everyone at this table deserves an apology."

"You aren't making Riku apologize!" Yuffie complained.

Joseph rolled his eyes. "No, but he's like this about… eh, sixty-four percent of the time. You really just have to put up with it."

"And who put _you_ in charge?" Kairi asked. Joseph tried not to shudder at the tone in her voice, which was too similar to a Larxene Replica's for comfort.

"Because none of you are in your right mind right now," he said, simply. "_Especially_ not you."

Kairi glared. "And what's wrong with-"

Joseph held up a hand, silencing her.

"Be quiet while I deal with these two," he told her, glancing between Tifa and Leon. "Once they've calmed down, it'll be much easier to deal with you."

Tifa glared. "Great, now we have to have a twelve-year-old sort out our problems!"

"We wouldn't be-"

"Hey!" Joseph did not shout. But his voice was loud and stern enough to get their attention; a trick he had learned from 29. He was silent for a moment, waiting until he was sure that they would not interrupt him again. He turned to Leon. "You first."

Leon raised his eyebrows, confused, but did not question Joseph's logic.

"What do you want me to apologize for?" he asked.

"Whatever you feel necessary," Joseph replied. "So long it's not one of those 'I'm sorry you're so-' things. I'll interrupt you if I feel like you're not on the right track."

Leon took a deep breath. "Then I'll start by apologizing to you, Kairi, and…" He glanced over in Toby's direction.

"Toby."

Leon nodded. "I'm sorry. I let my temper get out of hand; I'm not usually like this. I am also sorry because you are guests here, and you have not been treated as such."

"Apology accepted," Joseph said. He glanced at Toby, who merely nodded, and then to Kairi.

"It's alright," she said.

To Joseph's relief, that sounded much more like the Kairi he was used to hearing.

He turned back to Leon.

"To everyone, I am sorry I yelled and let Sora's Shadow get to me. It's just- today's been a frustrating day, and-"

"It's cool Leon," Yuffie said. "I get you're still worried about-" She paused, noting the look on Joseph's face. "What?"

"You spoke out of turn."

"Oh."

Joseph grinned. "I'll forgive you, though, because it moved the conversation along. I'm sorry I interrupted you. Please continue."

Yuffie nodded, though the frustrated look on her face suggested that she had forgotten what she was saying. "Oh yeah! I get you're still worried about Rinoa, and that, among other things, put you on edge."

Joseph turned to Tifa.

"Apology accepted," she said, though there was an edge in it.

Joseph frowned. "Leon, if you're done, I'd like to move to Tifa," he said.

"Go ahead."

Tifa grimaced.

"I- I'm sorry for yelling," she said. "I got frustrated, and I let my anger get the best of me, which I should've been more careful about."

Joseph continued to stare at her, the frown on his face deepening. No one else dared speak without his cue.

"What? I apologized!"

Joseph sighed. "He's got a tighter grip on you…" he muttered, mainly to himself, then said, clearly: "I'll ignore how rude that was. But I want you to be more specific."

Tifa did not look like she was enjoying this. "Leon, I'm sorry I-"

"Say it like you mean it!" Joseph interrupted, anger flashing through his eyes for a second. "You sound like a Larxene Replica who's trying to get out of something they don't enjoy doing, and that is _not_ a compliment!"

Tifa _definitely_ did not look like she was enjoying this. "Leon, I-"

Joseph stopped her again. "Don't make me make you sit here and think about what you did!"

Tifa stared, appalled. Yuffie only barely managed to stifle a snort.

"Hey, kid," Cid said.

Joseph turned to him, not happy about the interruption.

"Can I sit down?"

Joseph laughed, then. "Go ahead."

"Thank yeh."

Once Cid had found a seat, Joseph returned his attention to Tifa.

"Leon, I'm sorry-"

Joseph stopped her yet again. "Is she usually this rude?" he asked, turning to the rest of the table.

"Blunt, yes," Leon said. "But not rude."

Tifa scoffed. "I can't tell if I should be flattered, or-"

"Stop it!" Joseph said, and the anger in his eyes leaked into his voice. "It's no wonder no one's listening to you! You aren't even listening to yourself!"

Tifa started to say something, but again Joseph stopped her. He was silent for a moment, thinking, before he finally said: "Would you do this around Cloud?"

She blushed. "Well, I-"

Joseph shook his head. "Think about it first."

It was silent for a bit.

Tifa squeezed her eyes shut.

"I- I'm sorry!" she said, finally, voice breaking. Joseph didn't stop her this time. "I let myself get frustrated and left myself open to the darkness. It was stupid of me." She swallowed. "I'm sorry I for yelling as much as I did, I'm sorry for not noticing the darkness sooner, and I'm sorry for not listening to you, Leon."

"And…?" Joseph prompted.

"I'm especially sorry for telling you all to calm down when I was not calm myself."

Joseph smiled. He turned to Leon.

"It's fine, Tifa. Most of it was Him, anyway."

Joseph turned back to Tifa.

"There's still one more person you need to apologize to."

Tifa stared for a second, then sighed. She wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes and turned to Kairi. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was just- just so frustrated that you weren't listening."

"I'm sorry too," Kairi said.

Joseph frowned. He couldn't tell if she was genuinely sorry or not. He let it drop. "Now that that's done…" he said, and then sat down, moving whatever plates he needed to move out of the way, so that he could look Kairi relatively in the eye.

"I'm sorry-" she began.

"No," he interrupted. "No apologies from you. You are going to listen to me."

She stared, confused, but did not protest.

"For starters," Joseph said. "I am sorry for freaking out earlier, and for assuming things that I shouldn't have assumed. But I'll ask you, this time. If Sora, your Sora, was truly sorry for all that had happened, would you forgive him?"

"In a heartbeat," Kairi replied. "But it doesn't really matter because he's gone."

Joseph held up a hand to stop the words that were on Tifa's lips.

"When did you figure this out?" he asked Kairi.

"I- I just-" She seemed to be having trouble finding words, and there was terror in her eyes. "I woke up one morning, and- and I-"

"Just decided that Sora was gone?" Joseph asked.

"I- I don't-"

"What happened the night before?"

"I- I don't remember-" she stuttered. "But I- I woke up in the morning, and there was that terrible thought weight on me, and a pain in my chest, and- and you know that feeling you get after waking up from an awful nightmare?"

Joseph nodded.

"I felt like that. But- but what I remember from that night feels- feels too real to be a nightmare."

Joseph considered this for a moment.

"And you still believed the thought, despite all this?"

She shifted, uncomfortably. "Well, I-"

"I don't think she had a choice," Tifa said.

"I didn't ask for your input!" Joseph said, shooting a glare at her.

"What does it matter?" Kairi snapped. "He's gone!"

"And you're going to believe that just because of some stray thought that came to you in the middle of the night!" Joseph replied, the kindness in his voice faltering slightly and replaced by annoyance and disbelief.

"Like what happened today wasn't proof enough?"

Joseph turned to Leon, trying a different tactic. "What did happen today?"

"Well… Sora stabbed Riku in the chest, and taunted Aerith, Tifa, me and Riku about things that we'd each rather were left alone," Leon said.

Joseph grimaced.

That didn't help his case.

"But…" Tifa said.

"There's a but!" he exclaimed, turning to her.

"That wasn't Sora taunting us. That was his Shadow. Sora himself apologized profusely after each time it happened."

"Which means…?"

"Sora's struggling," Yuffie said. "His control is slipping."

Kairi's eyes went wide, as if something had finally clicked for her.

"And that's… that's because I-"

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"No. He's gone. He stabbed Riku in the chest, and that wasn't his Shadow, that was him. He has to be gone."

Joseph turned to Tifa.

"He's not gone. He's just lost," she said for the millionth time.

"And lost things can be found," Joseph finished. "And if anyone can find him, you can."

Hope was threatening to show in Kairi's eyes.

"But- but what if the darkness has control of him? He- he never listened. He- he's as good as-"

Joseph grabbed her by the shoulders and touched his forehead to hers.

"Kairi, listen to me. Sora, your Sora, will recognize you, no matter how much the darkness is crushing him. And he will struggle and fight until he gets to you."

She swallowed. "He- he- how do you know!" There were tears in her eyes, now, and her voice was choked.

"Because I talked to Sora, once, and he was darkness-free. Relatively."

Kairi sobbed.

Joseph gripped her shoulders tighter.

"And he told me that he felt absolutely awful for what he did. Awful enough that he would do anything to make sure it would never happen again. Which means as soon as he recognizes you, he _will_ fight for control again, just so that he can make sure he won't hurt you."

Kairi was breathing heavily, trying to stop her sobs and calm herself down.

"But how- how am I supposed to even find him?" she asked.

"I'm going to go looking for Cloud," Tifa said. "Again. You can come with me. We'll leave tomorrow."


	120. Quarreling Darkness

I have this odd nagging feeling that I had something important to say. But I don't remember it at all...

Oh well.

I did do a post responding to your theories about Zack. It's... three posts old on the blog. Roughly. I understand that the blog's been down for the past few days due to maintenance issues, so I'm not really worried that none of you have responded to it, but I'm just making sure that you guys know it's there.

**Update Feb 2014: **If you're curious about Zack still, it is now it's own scene. ASAS ch26 "A Date With Fate".

Also, Can't Escape ch51-53 happen before this chapter.

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><p>Sun.<p>

Bright.

He winced.

Heat was pounding down on him, restlessly.

He sat down, roughly, and winced when his bare skin hit the sand, which was hotter than the wind that was blowing it around. It stung his face along with any other part of him that wasn't covered.

He squeezed his eyes shut.

_How… how did I get here?_

He couldn't… quite remember.

He remembered-

Riku… yelling at him.

And… fighting.

Fighting…. Heartless…

No.

Riku.

No-

He clutched his head.

It was all dark.

And what wasn't dark was fuzzy.

He could remember… laughter…

But for the life of him, he couldn't tell if the laughter was his Shadow's, or… his own…

He shuddered at that thought.

"F_- _focus-" he told himself, but then his voice failed him, and he had to finish the thought in his head: _ -on what happened_.

It was hard to focus, though. His memory was too fuzzy, and he hurt-

He angrily pulled the bandages off his face and tossed them to the side. They were hardly doing him any good anymore, and they were bothersome. He was surprised to see, next to where he threw the bandages, blood in the sand. Fresh blood.

He slowly touched his aching side, and was slightly surprised to find a bleeding wound.

_Where did- did that come from? _he wondered.

_I- I was-_

He cast Cure on himself, but it didn't really do much. It stopped the bleeding, but he still hurt. And the wound didn't appear to be any better off than it had been before.

He wiped the blood on his fingers off on his pants.

_I- I don't remember how I got here…_

_ I remember- attacking-_

_ Then- darkness._

He shuddered.

_Cold, cruel, darkness._

_ And-_

His eyes widened in shock, as a bit of memory drifted back to him.

_Someone found me. They were- dragging me off- I wasn't conscious enough to struggle, but I-_

He clutched his head again.

It hurt too much to remember.

The wind was picking up around him, blowing more sand at him.

"Are you okay?"

He glanced up to find some native of the World; a boy about his age, probably a bit older, wearing slightly ratty looking clothes. Sora squinted slightly, and then grunted, unable to form much more of a response. The boy frowned, though whether it was out of confusion or disbelief Sora couldn't tell.

The wind blew again, stronger this time, and Sora held his hands up in front of his face to avoid getting sand in his eyes or his not-quite-yet-finished-healing wound.

"C'mon, we need to get to shelter before the sandstorm hits," the native boy said, offering his hand to Sora.

Sora took it and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. The native boy led him through the busy streets, which were bustling with people trying to finish up their shopping and get home before the sandstorm struck. The air around them was filled with many complaints from impatient customers, along with friendly (and not so friendly) shouts from shop owners who wanted to get rid of customers so that _they_ could go home.

The wind (which had been steadily blowing around them) suddenly picked up speed for a second, blowing sand and something else through the air.

Sora shuddered, recognizing the all-too-familiar feel of darkness.

He continue walking, though, hoping that he was-

Someone screamed.

Sora turned to see what was causing the screaming, and, sure enough, found a batch of Heartless of the Bandit variety. There were only a few of them, and they didn't look terribly menacing, and Sora wondered for a second why there was screaming and panic around him. The already emptying streets were emptying even faster now, most people forgetting their shopping and hurrying off. One woman ran off without paying, judging by the way the storekeeper was yelling after her. Another storekeeper closed his shop right then and there, ignoring protests from customers.

"More of them!" the native boy that Sora was following groaned, rather exasperated. "I thought they had stopped coming here!"

Sora couldn't help but to laugh at that. Heartless never gave up unless ordered to. And very few people could order the Heartless around. He drew his Keyblade and started attacking, hardly even thinking about it, and shoving past one burly looking man as he did so. The man yelled at him, but he ignored him. That man wasn't worth his time.

It was hard, though, to ignore the anger that was burning in his heart.

The absolutely needless anger towards that man.

He knew it was the darkness, but-

He focused on killing Heartless to get his mind off of it.

It didn't take him long to realize why these Heartless were a pain in the butt. Though, no, they did not have a lot of health, they were very quick. They're main attack, which involved launching themselves at their target, was killer, since it could be accomplished from far away, and they all tended to do it _at the same time._

Thankfully, though, the native boy was skilled with a sword, and their combined efforts eventually got rid of the Heartless.

Sora tossed up a Cure for himself, and turned to the native boy.

The native boy was squinting through the dust that was thick in the air, and had a hand up by his face, as if to stop the relentless wind.

"Not enough time to get to…" he muttered, but didn't finish. Sora wondered briefly how that sentence finished, but, given the way it had been said, he doubted that the native boy even meant to say it aloud.

"This way, then," the native boy said, taking off in a different direction.

Sora followed after.

It was hard to keep up now. Sora did not know the streets as well as the native boy did, and navigated them at a much slower pace. If it had been a normal day, he might have been fine, but he was fighting the elements in a World unfamiliar to him. The sand was all wrong beneath his feet, slipping more than he was used to. The heat was pounding down on him. The wind wasn't even a relief to the heat; it was hot, too. That, and the wind was blowing all the sand around, making it hard to see, not to mention a pain to breathe properly.

His vision was blurring.

He didn't know which way to go next.

He was just stumbling through the dark, and the heat, and-

Someone grabbed him by the arm and yanked him into shelter. He nearly screamed.

"Are you alright?" the native boy asked.

No, he was _not_ alright.

The world was still spinning dizzily around him.

He felt like he was going to pass out.

But, somehow, Sora managed to nod and voice some sort of reply. He didn't think that it was enough to convince anyone he was alright, though. However, the native boy took it as an answer. Sora didn't understand how; he must've looked awful, as no one could possibly look good when they felt sick, and he staggered when he followed the native boy father into… wherever they were.

"It's not much," the native boy said. "But we'll be able to wait out the storm here."

They were in a room… of sorts… a house, maybe? If it was a house, it was an abandoned house. The oddest assortment of furniture littered the place; nothing matched at all. There was garbage along the walls, and scattered about the floor, too, though in small amounts. The floor was also covered in a fine layer of sand, probably blown in from outside when the door was opened.

"I'm sorry," Sora said. His voice sounded so slurred to his own ears that he was utterly baffled that the native boy did not notice. "Making you look… after me like this…. you must've had somewhere else you needed to be…."

The native boy shrugged and sat down in a chair that was so battered that Sora was surprised it held his weight. "It's alright," he said, like it were no big deal. "Jasmine'll be worried about me, but… she'll understand."

Sora stared.

"J-Jasmine…?" he stuttered, his throat so dry he was surprised that sound came out.

He swallowed, as if to help matters, though it really did him nothing.

He knew that name.

The world was spinning around him again.

He remembered, very clearly, that he had kidnapped her not too long ago.

Hopefully, the native boy who he now knew to be Aladdin wouldn't realize that.

Just in case, Sora started running over apologies in his head so that if he _did _figure it out-

"So… how did you get here?" Aladdin asked after a moment.

"I…" Sora clutched his head, and then slowly sunk into a large and surprisingly comfy chair that he was not even aware was behind him until he sat in it. Everything was so blurry… "I… I don't know…" he stuttered. "It's- it's too- can't remember." It hurt to remember. It hurt to even _think _about remembering.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Aladdin asked.

_Stop asking me and just tell me that there's something wrong with me!_ Sora's thoughts pleaded. He could not, personally, explain what was going on. He hardly understood it, and he hurt _so much_.

_Please, I'm tired of hurting! _

Whoever he expected to answer his silent cry was not kind enough to answer him.

"P-please-"

The word left his lips, though he did not realize it.

Tears were rolling down his cheeks, stinging when they trailed over his soon-to-be a scar.

"I'm tired of this. I'm tired of hurting. Tired of running. I had my life stolen from me, and I want it back!"

His voice rose to a shout with his last words, making them not a cry for help but a demand. He wanted his life back, and he wanted it back _now_. And he wasn't about to let anyone keep it from him. If they tried, ooh, they'd be sorry—

But—

Why was the world spinning so much around him?

Whatever he was using to keep himself sitting upright gave way, and he fell to the floor – face first in the dust. His head hurt terribly. So did his side, now that he thought about it, and he was pretty sure that he scraped his knees, too. He groaned and tried to push himself up, but his arms were like jelly, and he only fell flat on his face again, the world blurring to black around him.

XXX

The wolf half barked, half growled at him, almost as if asking him in annoyed and irritated tone: 'He's here, so what the hell are you complaining about?'

Sora's Shadow turned on the wolf, fury burning in him. "What the hell am I complaining about!" he yelled back. "Well, let's see, you decided to be lazy as crud and _not_ lead me to where I needed to be for a good _hour,_ and now that we're finally here, there's a freaking _sandstorm_ and I can't do a damn thing!"

Not that he existed properly enough for the sandstorm to affect him much, but it was annoying and he really didn't want to spend the next who knew how long with the uncooperative wolf leading him through it. He'd much rather if he could just go directly to Sora, but for some reason, that was impossible.

Hopefully, that wouldn't last long.

Like his hold on Kairi didn't last long.

_It's just because she's so bright,_ he told himself, not for the first time. _I was lucky it even worked in the first place._

_ Still… if it wasn't for Tifa…_

The wolf bit his wrist, reminding him to focus. He shot a glare at it, but then shook his head, as if he could shake the thought of Kairi out of it.

_Have to find Sora._

_ Have to figure out why the hell I lost contact with him._

_ I should be able to do more than just feel his presence in a World._

_But…_

"Grah!" he shouted, angrily chucking a bolt of darkness at the ground. It threw sand into the air, which the wind gladly picked up and threw in his face. He glared for a second, before turning on his heel and flashing to a place where he could _think_.

The lack of sun, sand, and other annoyances that the Dark Margin provided was certainly a relief.

"That damn wolf was a waste of my time!" he muttered, irritably. "I don't know what I was thinking; it's useless and led me around the worlds for an hour on some goose chase before even taking me to where I _needed_ to be! If it had done what it was supposed to do and take me to where Sora was in the first place, maybe we would've gotten there before that damn sandstorm started, and I could've actually done something! But, _no_! It decides it's going to be a lazy pain in my-"

A rather impressive force came out of nowhere and knocked him to the ground, causing him to hit his head hard enough that his vision blurred. When it cleared he found the wolf on top of him, its face hardly inches away from his, growling menacingly.

"Oh, and now it's _following _me!"

'You bound me to you, idiot,' the wolf barked, its "voice" never sounding any clearer than it did now. 'I don't entirely have a choice.'

He glared.

"Well _great!_" he laughed, voice dripping with sarcastic annoyance. "Not only are you a useless failure, but I'm stuck with you! Oh, my life couldn't get any _better!_"

The wolf snapped at him, and he threw up an arm to shield his face. The wolf bit into his arm, hard, refusing to let go. He started smacking it on the nose with his other hand, and after a few moments of pain for the both of them, the wolf finally let go.

"Get _off_ of me!" Sora's Shadow growled, pushing the wolf off. It rolled to the side and got back to its feet, hardly fazed. He ignored it and took a second to examine his arm, only to find (yet again) absolutely nothing there. No blood. No tooth marks. The only proof that the wolf had even bitten him was the searing pain he felt.

The wolf launched itself at him again. He dodged and, hardly looking, grabbed the chains around its neck as it passed. Using its momentum against it, he yanked the chains and threw the wolf to the ground. He turned to the wolf, which was pushing itself to its feet again. He glared, then summoned his own chains to him and lashed at the wolf. The wolf flinched at the blow, but then launched itself at him, like nothing had happened.

He brought his arm to block, again, and again the wolf sunk its teeth into him. There was more to its bite now than just teeth, though. Fire akin to the fire that ran across the wolf's body surged from the wolf and into him. He almost laughed. The fire, though it felt extremely deadly and eager to destroy and drain life from everything, was darkness at its core, and therefore did not hurt him. He pulled the draining fire into himself, channeled it, and threw it back in the wolf's face. Of course, it did not harm the wolf either, but it did surprise and confuse the wolf enough to make it to let go of his arm.

The wolf shook its head, and then made to jump at him again, but before it could he struck with his chains, catching its ear. The wolf didn't bleed, but part of its ear was certainly missing now. It yelped in pain.

Before it decided to attack him again, Sora's Shadow grabbed the chains around its neck and forced it to the ground.

"Stop it!" he said, firmly.

The wolf growled.

He pulled harder on its chains, choking it slightly.

"I need to think," he hissed. "So could you just sit there and let me _think?_"

Annoyance flashed through the wolf's eyes, but when he let go of it, it only moved to make itself more comfortable, and nothing more.

Sora's Shadow sighed, half in relief, half in annoyance, and then found a nice place a good distance away from the wolf to sit down. There he sat, and there he thought.

_Something's not right._

_ Sora shouldn't be able to block connection with me like the way he is right now._

_ So… someone must be interfering._

_ But…_

_ Who?_


	121. Tired

well guess what? The series' 2-year-anniversary is a week away from yesterday. Hopes of finishing Dead Inside in a week? Impossible. Which is okay. I just feel like I got absolutely nothing done this summer (that, and I had a promo trailer and artwork ready to post for book 5, but I can't post either of them since Dead Inside's no where being close to finished)

For the Anniversary, I want you guys to ask questions. Ask me questions, my characters questions. Just ask. It can be about things that are happening now, things that might happen later, you can ask about my previous stories, you can ask about book 5. (though, try and keep any book 5 questions limited, if you would)

and yes, I know, magik is doing this "have characters answers questions" thing for her special chapter, and I feel bad about doing pretty much the same thing at the same time. But when she said she was doing it, I thought "that might be cool!" and figured I'd do it for the anniversary. In my head, magik would've had her special chapter posted already. But that's okay.

You'll have to post your questions REALLY SOON though, because we've got less than a week (or about a week, considering the anniversary's falls on a thursday, and I might postpone doing anything to celebrate it until the weekend). I mean, I'm planning on posting another chapter before then, but that just might not happen.  
>Also, have a question but forgot to put it in a review? Go post it on the blog (or you can submit another review, but I feel guilty telling you to do that, like I'm some sort of review-hog). It doesn't really matter where you post it on the blog, so don't worry about that.<p>

That's about it. You can read the chapter now  
>EDIT: sorry for not having the Xs that represent the scene break! I keep missing those... it's now fixed, though most of you have already read this, so it doesn't matter... oh well<p>

**Update Feb 2014: **It's almost pointless to say it, but the question thing is _closed _and has been for like two years. You can read the chapters answering the questions in ASAS. (ch27, 29 and 30)

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><p>Sora awoke to find that he had inhaled sand, and quickly pushed himself up and coughed a couple times in desperate attempt to get rid of it. He could still hear the wind roaring outside, and the heat was almost unbearable.<p>

"Are… are you okay now?"

Sora turned to look at Aladdin, who had asked the question. Aladdin was kneeling down next to him, looking rather worried.

"What- what happened?" Sora asked.

"You, uh, fainted," Aladdin replied.

"I- I did?"

"Yeah. I asked how you got here, and-"

Sora clutched his head. It was all flooding back to him; following Aladdin to where they were now, the world spinning, worried that he was a burden to Aladdin, Jasmine-

The world started spinning again.

"Ooh… can we talk about something else, please?" he asked, pushing himself into a sitting position.

"Sure," Aladdin said. "What do you want to talk about?"

Sora couldn't think of anything specific, so he just said the most obvious thing that occurred to him: "It's hot."

Aladdin laughed. "We're in a desert, of course it's hot!"

Sora merely grunted, feeling very much like Riku as he did so.

"What's it like where you come from?" Aladdin asked. "If you can answer that," he added, quickly.

"Well, it's not cold," Sora said, finding himself laughing slightly as he did so for some weird reason. "But it's not _this_ hot."

"You get used to the heat."

"I figured."

They were silent for a moment.

"So…" Aladdin said, finally. "Are you feeling better?"

Sora grimaced. "For the most part," he muttered. He certainly didn't feel as sick as he did before, but his head still hurt. And he felt… tired. How long had it been since he had a good night's sleep? Or, for that matter, done anything relatively normal?

"You look tired."

"I feel tired."

"If you want, you can sleep now. There's no telling how long the sandstorm will keep going."

Sora thought about that for a moment. It certainly wouldn't hurt anything if he slept. And… now would be such a good time. Plus, he really _wanted_ sleep, but— He had made Aladdin look after him long enough. As soon as the sandstorm was over, he should let Aladdin get back to his own life.

Besides, what would happen if Aladdin realized sometime while he was sleeping that it was he who had kidnapped Jasmine?

"I'll be okay," Sora said.

"You sure?"

The world spun slightly around him again, but Sora nodded anyway.

Aladdin gave him a look that suggested he didn't quite believe him, but then got up and returned to his chair. Sora slowly did the same, though there was absolutely nothing comforting in the comfortable chair that he had claimed as his. There was something stirring in his heart; something he wished would just shut up and go away.

Not that wishing did him any good.

He grimaced and fought the darkness rising up inside of him back, hoping for once that it would just _stay there._

"How long have you been getting sandstorms?" Sora asked suddenly, desperately needing something to break the silence and get his mind off his trivial attempts to hold his darkness back.

Aladdin shrugged. "Off and on for the past few months," he replied simply.

"Oh."

More silence.

Sora shifted uncomfortably.

He had run out of things to talk about, and sitting here without something distracting him just welcomed bad news.

"Can I ask you something?" Aladdin asked.

"Sure."

Anything. Anything to distract him.

"Well…" Aladdin trailed off, almost as if unsure where he meant to go next. "Before you passed out, you were screaming, saying something about… not wanting to run anymore. What are you running from?"

A glare formed on Sora's face.

"How's that any of _your_ business?" he replied, and only after he had said it did he realize how rude those words were.

His darkness had escaped him, even if only for just a second.

He groaned and clutched his head.

_Idiot, idiot, idiot,_ he scolded, trying to push his darkness back to where it belonged. His bitterness and anger at himself made all attempts pointless, because they just gave the darkness the strength it needed to break free again.

Aladdin merely scratched his head, a bit nervously almost, not even realizing what was going on. "Jeez, I only asked a question, no need to—hey wait a minute!" His eyes widened in shock. "You- You're that guy! You- You kidnapped Jasmine!"

Sora sighed.

"Yup. Just another big mistake to add to the long list of mistakes I've made," he muttered, angrily, mainly to himself.

"I can't believe I helped you!"

Sora looked up at Aladdin and then _stared_. "Really?" he asked, in disbelief, and then shook his head. Why should he be surprised? He pushed himself to his feet, staggering slightly as he did so. "Fine then," he said, starting for the door. "I'll just _leave_, since-"

"Wait!" Aladdin called, getting to his feet and reaching out as if to stop Sora, though Sora was on the other side of the room. "You can't-"

Sora turned to him, eyebrows raised slightly in amusement, though most of him wanted to glare in annoyance.

"I can't let you do that," Aladdin finished.

"And just why not?"

"It's- it's dangerous out there."

Sora laughed slightly, bitterly. "You were just complaining about helping me."

"Well, yeah, but-" Aladdin ran a hand nervously through his hair again. "You can't go. You won't last in a sandstorm like that. No one would."

Sora stared for a second, then his eyes narrowed. "Fine," he said, and sat down where he was. "Then I'll just sit here and leave you alone until it's over, and as soon as it is, you'll never have to see my filthy face again."

There was anger in that, but sorrow, too.

"I didn't mean it like-" Aladdin protested.

"Don't bother." Sora turned his back on Aladdin, hunching over, and started doodling absentmindedly in the sand with a finger. "I don't care anymore."

XXX

Kairi was upstairs already, exhausted and insisting on sleep.

Cid had returned to his room, where he continued whatever project he had been working on before.

Aerith was trying to clean up from dinner; something that was taking longer than she had expected it to, but she refused any help whatsoever.

Riku and Namine were sitting on one of the couches in the front room. Riku was half asleep; definitely more tired from the day he'd had than he would admit. Namine sat next to him, one hand holding tightly to Riku's hand, and with her free hand she traced over the folds of her dress; she'd left her sketchbook in Castle Oblivion.

Leon sat on the other couch, reading a book, though his eyes often flickered to his letter, which he had placed on the coffee table.

Yuffie was sitting on the other end of the couch, bouncing her tennis ball and cursing under her breath every time it bounced out of her reach and she had to get up to fetch it.

Joseph and Toby stood in the empty area of the front room, trading punches as Tifa instructed them on the basics of hand-to-hand combat. Tifa tried her best to keep them from actually hurting each other, but from the looks of things, both of them were going to have bruises by the next day.

"Ow!" Joseph exclaimed as Toby punched him in the shoulder. While, of course, the force of the punch hadn't hurt at all, there had been a bit of lightning in it. "Watch it!"

"Sorry!" Toby said, quickly. He shook his hand slightly to cancel the lightning out.

"What was that?" Tifa asked.

"Just a little lightning, that's all," Toby whispered. He sounded almost frightened.

Joseph's eyes lit up. "Hey!" He turned to Tifa. "You don't happen to know anything about magic, do you?"

"Joseph, you don't have to-" Toby began, but his protest went unheard.

"Yeah. Why?" Tifa said.

"It's not typical magic," Toby said, quietly, staring at the ground. "You aren't going to be able to help."

"Why don't you tell us what your problem is?" Aerith said, pausing in her cleaning and standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "We can always try."

Toby turned to Joseph, his eyes practically screaming his uncertainty. Joseph nodded encouragingly. Toby sighed, looking very much like he was hating every second of this, but held his hand up for all to see. He summoned lightning to him, waited for a second, then banished it. He paused to take a breath, and then summoned fire and lightning to him, waited for a second longer than he did before, and then banished that.

"I can't summon fire on its own," he explained, voice extremely quiet. "It's either with the lightning or nothing. Believe me, I've tried everything."

Almost everyone in the room was staring at him now, which he didn't like. Yuffie didn't appear to be paying much attention, at least, and Riku was still half asleep, but everyone else was staring.

"Have you tried focusing on-" Aerith began.

"I can keep the lightning back for about three seconds," Toby replied, annoyed. "And there isn't much fire without it."

Aerith laughed and shook her head. "No no. Don't focus on holding the lightning back. Focus on bringing the fire to you. Think, I don't know, fire-y thoughts. Heat."

"Lightning's technically hotter than fire," Toby muttered, slightly embarrassed now, but still annoyed.

"But lightning is precise, and deadly," Leon interrupted. "Fire is more like a raw, raging destruction that has to be contained or it destroys everything."

"Deep," Yuffie said.

"Channeling Rinoa, much?" Tifa laughed.

Leon ignored them and continued. "I think Aerith is suggesting that you focus less on not being able to control the lightning, and focus more on trying to master the fire."

Toby shook his head. "Doesn't work. The lightning gets out of hand too quickly, and if I _don't_ focus on holding it back, there's trouble."

No one responded right away. They all appeared to be stumped.

"What if he learns to control the lightning first?" Yuffie suggested.

Everyone turned to her, most with shocked expressions on their faces.

Noting everyone's shocked expressions, Yuffie laughed. "What, this never occurred to any of you?" She smirked slightly, obviously proud of herself. "Well, Leon said that lightning is_precise_, and, from the sounds of things, this kid is having trouble controlling the _lightning_. So if he learns how to properly control and command the lightning, he shouldn't have a problem holding it back when he's trying to get just fire."

Everyone continued to stare at her, most in disbelief.

"Surprised I even knew that sort of thing, huh?" Yuffie asked.

"Well…" Aerith began.

Leon hurriedly went back to his book.

"Yeah," Tifa said, simply.

Yuffie stuck her tongue out at her.

Joseph laughed and elbowed Toby in the ribs. "See! It was good I asked, huh?"

"I guess…" Toby replied, slowly. "But how am I supposed to learn how to control my lightning better?"

Joseph shrugged. "I don't know. Ask a Larxene Replica?"

Toby turned to look at him, and after a second Joseph returned the look. Then they both burst out laughing.

"Hate to kill your fun," Namine said, once they had calmed down. "But shouldn't you two be heading back to Castle Oblivion?"

Joseph frowned; confused. "Aren't we all heading back?"

Namine shook her head. "Me and Riku are going to stay here for the night."

"I am?" Riku asked, sounding completely out of it.

"Yes," Namine said. "You need to recover."

"But I'm… I'm fine!"

She frowned at him.

"I don't even think I can trust you to _walk_ right now."

"That's okay, you'll just carry me."

She stared at him for a moment, and then shook her head. "You are so out of it right now…" she muttered.

"I guess you do need to stay here…" Joseph said, slowly. He sighed. "But why can't we stay?"

"Won't 29 be worried about you?"

Joseph made a face, but then nodded. "Yeah, he'll be worried."

"And if that's not reason enough, _someone_ needs to tell all of them what happened to us," Namine added.

"I got it!" Joseph said, a bit annoyed. "We're going." He threw open a dark corridor.

"One more thing!"

He rolled his eyes.

"Yes?"

"Can you get me my sketchbook? And whatever pencils you can find."

Joseph laughed, and then saluted. "Aye-aye, Cap'n," he said, and then stepped through.

"Joseph! There you are!"

He didn't even have time to turn around before 29 pulled him into a hug.

"I was so worried about you!"

Joseph squirmed slightly. "Dark corridor's still open, and I need to-"

29 didn't listen.

"Are you okay!? And where have you been!"

"Squeezing me. Can't breathe."

29 immediately let go.

Joseph dusted himself off, and then said: "For starters, I'm fine. All your other questions will be answered momentarily, thank you. Now, have you seen Namine's sketchbook? She kinda wants it."

"Here." 19 (who had approached sometime while 29 was squeezing Joseph) handed Namine's sketchbook over. It was still open to the picture of Riku nearly dead. Joseph grimaced slightly, and closed it.

"And her pencils?" he asked.

"Here." A Vexen Replica who he surprisingly couldn't remember the number of held out a handful of pencils. Joseph took them and looked through them. Yup, those were all the pencils he remembered Namine having earlier.

"Okay. I'm going to go give these to Namine, say goodbye to everyone, then I'll be right back." He glanced over at Toby. "You coming?"

Toby shook his head.

Joseph shrugged, and then stepped back through the dark corridor. He made his way over to Namine and handed her her things.

"Thank you!" she said, grinning. "Can you do me another favor?"

Joseph frowned.

"Can you open my sketchbook to a blank page?"

He sighed, but went ahead and did so.

"Alright," he said, turning around to everyone else. "I guess I'm going now."

"Bye!" Yuffie said, sounding _way_ too excited to see him go.

"See you," Leon said.

"Don't get hurt," Tifa said.

"Goodbye Joseph," Aerith said, poking her head out of the kitchen. "Will we see you again?"

Joseph broke out into a grin.

"Yeah, I'll probably be coming back here sometime."

He went back through the dark corridor, closing it behind him this time.

"So… what happened?" 29 asked.

Joseph thought for a second, then took a deep breath. "Well, me, Toby, and Namine were on Destiny Islands, and we ran into Kairi, and Kairi and Namine talked while me and Toby played around. Then Namine started freaking out, because apparently something was wrong with Riku, but she didn't specify what, and so she and Kairi came up with this plan to go save him, but then Kairi delayed us a ton, and Namine insisted on stopping back here and dropping me and Toby off, because she thought it would be too dangerous for us to be there. I didn't believe her, though, and we argued, and she tried to leave, but she was hardly coherent, and there wasn't any way I was going to let her try and save Riku when she wasn't thinking straight, so I followed her. It turned out it didn't matter, because Riku was perfectly okay when we found him- well, not perfectly okay. He had been stabbed in the chest, lost a lot a blood, and nearly died, but Aerith found him first, and she was healing him when we got there. Then Aerith gave us – me and Toby, that is – cookies so that we'd stay out of everyone's way, then I stole Yuffie's tennis ball, and then we had dinner. Dinner was nice. Everyone started yelling at each other. I calmed them down, though, and told them that they were all being stupid, and then after dinner Tifa started teaching me and Toby how to properly punch someone in the face."

He said this all very rapidly and all in one breath.

"And where are Riku and Namine?" 29 asked.

"Didn't I mention? Riku nearly died, and he needs to recover, so they're staying the night in Hollow Bastion. And trust me, he needs to recover. He's really out of it."

There was silence for a moment, as they all just stared at Joseph.

"Okay, explain that all again," 29 said. "But _slower_ this time."


	122. A Lost Soul

okay, first off, a few clarification questions.

KKBeckett, you're missing a word in one of your questions. You asked: "Sora, why can't you just go see Kairi, you're making _ by running." I'd like to know what goes in that blank... It seems like a really important word

Peach, by "the Kairi you think you abandoned" (your last question to Sora) you're referring to my Kairi, right?

Flightfoot, that question you asked about Aerith... I don't... I don't get why you're asking it. Is it just a completely random question? (which is fine if it is) Was it meant for the "characters answer questions" thing I'm doing for the anniversary? (I'm just really confused...sorry...)

Btw, this is the last chance you'll have to ask questions for the anniversary, so ASK THEM! ASK THEM NOW!

That's it. Go read the chapter.

* * *

><p>Unlike most shopkeepers, who waited <em>hours<em> after a sandstorm to reopen their stalls, there was one shopkeeper who took extra care to make sure his stall reopened as soon as possible after a sandstorm. One could never know when a traveler would pass through, and it would be unfair to make them wait to restock their items merely because no one was around to sell them anything.

That in mind, this shopkeeper also took care to make sure he had the most basic of items available for sale. Of course, a good portion of the time he avoided from selling most of his wares, as his fellow shopkeepers were jealous folk who would blame him for stealing customers if anything more than his typical trade was seen out in the open. However, right after sandstorms, he had everything from potions to basic accessories to more extravagant weapons available for sale. (He was considering selling some of those weapons to the weapons vendor across the street, however, since he had yet to find an interested customer, and it was a shame to let them sit and rot in _his _stall, when the weapons vendor might have better luck selling them.)

The shopkeeper sat at his stall for quite some time without any customers stopping by. It wasn't a surprise, though. He very rarely got customers right after a sandstorm. He liked to keep his stall open though, _just in case_.

By the time he got his first customer there were plenty other people milling about, waiting for the rest of the stalls to open, not needing anything from _him._ But no matter, because there was someone heading his way: a boy, probably no older than fifteen, with ridiculously spiky hair and clothes that definitely belonged to somewhere else.

"Ah, a traveler!" the shopkeeper said, once the boy was close enough to hear him.

The boy stared at him, his left eye squinting slightly due to the scar that marred his face. The look in the boy's eyes was tired, at best, and he carried himself like he was exhausted and it was a burden merely to keep moving.

"I suppose I am…" the boy muttered.

"A warrior?" the shopkeeper asked, his eyes fixed firmly on the boy's scar. The boy would _have_ to be a warrior to have gotten a scar like that, no matter how little he looked like he was a warrior. Most warriors were well equipped and looked prepared to face, well, anything. This boy looked more like he had just been wrenched from his home and thrown into the great unknown.

But that scar…

He was either a warrior, or just one _really_ unlucky kid.

"Sure."

The shopkeeper was starting to get the feeling that the latter was more likely. However…

"May I interest you in some rare weapons?" he asked.

The boy shook his head.

"No thank you. I'm good."

The shopkeeper frowned. He had yet to meet a warrior who passed up the chance to look at weapons, if only just to admire them.

"But, certainly, you must need something to defend yourself with!"

Again, the boy shook his head.

Strange. The boy didn't even appear to be carrying any weapons. Or if he was, he couldn't have anything more than a simple dagger, something that he could easily conceal within his clothing.

Unless…

Of course!

The boy was probably a mage of sorts. Not that he _looked_ like a mage, but, mages were typically good at hiding themselves. In fact, the boy that stood in front of him was probably just a disguise; the real mage lay underneath, using his magic to alter his appearance. And if he was a mage that great, then of course he had no use for weapons! They would be like play things to him; not even a match for his powers!

Then again, this boy could also very easily _not_ be a mage and instead just be short of munny.

But how was the shopkeeper supposed to know?

It was more fun to speculate, anyway.

"Hmm…" The shopkeeper rummaged around in one of his crates for a moment, before coming up with two rings. He placed the first – silver with intricate purple markings – on the counter in front of him. "I have this rare ring that protects the wearer from dark magic."

They boy eyed it curiously for a moment, and then picked it up to examine it closer. Just as soon as he picked it up he dropped it, almost as if it had shocked him, though the shopkeeper couldn't tell for sure. The shopkeeper quickly caught it before it rolled onto the ground.

The boy laughed then, sounding a bit bitter.

"Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it."

"It is only 2000 munny, if you wish to try it out."

The boy shook his head.

"No thank you," he said, firmly, voice suggesting that he was _not_ amused.

Maybe he was a black mage!

Ah, that made perfect sense! If he was skilled in dark magic, then of course he would think a ring that protects against it ridiculous. Most mages were like that. If an item protected against their magic, then they tended to think it laughable.

The shopkeeper placed the other ring – gold with intricate blue markings – on the counter. "What about its counterpart, which protects against light attacks?"

The boy looked even less interested.

"What else have you got?"

The shopkeeper dropped the rings back in their crate and gestured over at the display of his typical trade: potions, elixirs, and anything else of the sort.

The boy's eyes widened slightly in excitement – or… maybe it was relief.

"How much are elixirs?" he asked.

"50 munny apiece."

The boy's eyes got even wider, though he quickly winced. That scar still hurt, from the looks of things.

"That's _cheap!_"

The shopkeeper merely shrugged. "I had an over shipment."

"I'll take ten."

The shopkeeper nodded and pulled ten out of a crate behind him. After a second of thinking, he pulled out an eleventh. He set them all down on the counter, and the boy handed over the required munny before starting to shove the elixirs into his pockets, counting them as he went. The shop keeper watched with a smile as the boy picked up the eleventh elixir. The boy frowned at it for a second, then set it back down on the counter. He reached into his pocket, either to recount or to pull out more munny.

The shopkeeper held up a hand before he could do either.

"Special offer," he said, though he had come up with the so-called 'special offer' five seconds ago. "Buy ten, get one free."

The boy didn't quite look like he believed him.

"I'd drink it now, if I were you," the shopkeeper added, eyes flickering over the scar which he realized was not quite yet a scar on the boy's face. It was bleeding in a few places.

Understanding crossed the boy's face, and he smiled. The shopkeeper couldn't help but think it was shame the boy didn't smile more often. He had a nice smile.

The boy uncorked the elixir and downed it.

There weren't any noticeable changes, except that when the boy wiped the blood off his face (which he proceeded to wipe on his pants) no blood flowed to replace it. That, and the tired look in the boy's eyes had lessened slightly.

"Can I interest you in any ethers?" the shopkeeper asked.

"How much are they?"

"40 apiece."

The boy raised his eyebrows (not as much as the normal person would, but there was that scar to consider). "That seems like a lot for a mere ether."

The shopkeeper shrugged. "I have to sell them for more than the hi-potions."

The boy made a face.

"I'll take two."

The shopkeeper grabbed two out of a crate behind him and handed them over to the boy in return for the munny.

"How much are hi-potions?" the boy asked after a moment.

"30 apiece."

The boy was silent for a moment, before pulling more munny out of his pocket. "Go ahead and give me five."

The shopkeeper laughed slightly, and grabbed five out of a crate next to him.

"Would you like anything else?" he asked as he handed the hi-potions over to the boy.

The boy shook his head. "I think I'm good," he said.

The shopkeeper was about to bid him farewell, as the boy looked too tired to care about buying anything else, but something caught his attention. It was an odd nagging feeling; a feeling that he hadn't felt in quite some time. The feeling was, however, very familiar, and he knew exactly what was causing it. He turned to his crate of accessories, prepared to rummage around for a bit. He was surprised to find what he was looking for on the top, where it had not been previously.

"Eager to go, are you?" he asked it, quietly, picking it up and running his hands over it. It was a nice little trinket, star shaped and made out some sort of orange glass – beautifully crafted – and there was some sort of spell cast on it. He wasn't sure what kind of spell, as he had never met a mage who could tell him, but he still knew better than to argue with it. If the trinket, or rather, the spell on the trinket, was saying that it needed to go with this boy, then he was going to make sure it did just that.

Still, it was a shame to see it go…

"What about this?" he asked, holding it up for the boy to see. "It's rumored to be extremely lucky!"

The boy reached out to grab it, the pulled his hand back, looking a bit confused. The shopkeeper only smiled. The trinket had had the same effect on him when he first found it. He had found it buried in the sand, and had he not felt it tugging on his mind, he doubted that he would've even noticed it.

"Really now?" the boy asked, eyebrows raised.

The shopkeeper laughed.

"No," he admitted. "But ever since I've had it, I've been getting an over shipment of goods."

The boy stared at it for a few moments, looking very uncertain. The shopkeeper just held it there and said no more, letting the trinket do its magic.

"How much is it?" the boy asked finally.

"For you, 500 munny."

"For me?" The boy seemed suddenly skeptical. "What do you mean by _that?_"

The shopkeeper shrugged, trying not to let on to his real reason any more than he had to. He could still get some munny out of this. "I just think you could use a little luck, that's all."

"Then why don't you just give it to me for free?"

If the boy was going to continue like this, the shopkeeper wasn't really going to have a choice.

"If I give this to you," he explained, calmly, though he was making up this explanation as he went along. "I will most likely stop getting over shipments of goods. I think 500 munny is a fair deal. I should make you pay 600, but I figured that I could do without 100 munny."

The boy slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out the 500 munny. The shopkeeper took the munny and placed the trinket on the counter, gently. The boy picked it up, turned it over in his hands a time or two, and then placed it in his pocket.

"Luck, huh?" he asked after a moment.

The shopkeeper nodded.

"I could probably use some luck…" The boy then laughed slightly, bitterly. "I don't think I could possibly describe anything that's-" He stopped, rather suddenly. The shopkeeper glanced up at him, a bit confused. The boy had froze, a look between disbelief and sheer shock on his face. He glanced over his shoulder, hesitantly, and then his mouth formed the word: "no".

He turned back to the shopkeeper, looking a bit frantic now.

"Listen, I know this is probably a really random question, but can I hide in your stall?"

The shopkeeper laughed. He had heard more random questions than that.

"Sure thing," he said.

The boy replied with a quick "thanks" before slipping into the stall and hiding himself behind the counter.

The shopkeeper made himself busy; organizing crates, rearranging bottles, doing his best not to look like he was hiding something – though, for the life of him, he couldn't tell who the boy was hiding from. No particular person stuck out to him. Well, there was that one rather burly looking man who seemed a bit disgruntled…

But what could the boy have done to have bothered that man?

If he was even hiding from that man at all.

And, more importantly, how had he even known that they were here?

Had the boy heard something that the shopkeeper did not?

Was there some kind of connection between the boy and who he was hiding from?

Oh, the things that he could speculate…

The boy peeked out from behind the counter then, and, after scanning the area a time or two, came out of his hiding place. He turned to the shopkeeper; the frantic look had not left his eyes.

"Is there anywhere I can go?" he asked.

The shopkeeper wasn't entirely sure what the boy meant by that, but he answered anyway. "There," he said, pointing. "Back alleyway. You won't be seen going through there."

"Thank you again!" the boy said, running off.

The shopkeeper laughed and shook his head, then began to count the munny that he had made so far today, though it would be a little late to catch the boy if he was short any. He didn't get much farther than the first 50 when someone came up to his counter.

Two someones, in fact.

One was a girl who couldn't have been any older than the boy who he had just been talking to. She had bright red hair and was wearing clothes that were definitely not native to this world, nor really suited for travel. The other was an older girl (the more appropriate term probably being "young woman") with long black hair and clothes that were definitely better suited for travel. The look in her eyes suggested that she had done this many times before and was starting to get tired of it.

"Excuse me," the girl with red hair said. "Have you seen a boy about my age with _really_ spiky hair?"

The shopkeeper raised his eyebrows, slightly surprised. Fate could _not_ be so bold as to send two people who knew each other his way. "Nasty scar across his face?" he asked, slowly.

"Yes," the older girl said, sounding a bit impatient.

Of course Fate was this bold.

No reason to argue with Fate, though.

"I've seen him, yes," the shopkeeper said, laughing slightly. "I sold him a bunch of stuff, we talked, he asked to hide in my stall-"

The red haired girl stared.

"He's not still here, is he?" Then, after a moment: "Are you, Sora?" she asked, much louder.

Sora.

Was that the boy's name?

"He's already gone," he told the girl, laughing as he did so. "Though… I don't know why he'd be running from such a pretty girl like you." The shopkeeper smiled, then, a sense of daring glinting in his eyes. "Unless, of course, that pretty face is just a disguise, hiding the ugly creature you are underneath."

She laughed. "Like I'm what, a witch or something?" She laughed again. "Please, I'm just his friend."

"How do I not know those are not lies meant to deceive me?" the shopkeeper asked, still smiling, glad that, for once, someone humored him with his speculations. He rubbed his head, and, pretending to be as dramatic as possible, fretted: "Oh, should I give the poor boy away? Or should I trust that-"

"Listen, I'd love to play these games," the older girl interrupted, not looking amused in the slightest. "But we really need to find him before he runs off again. You only get _this_ lucky once, and there's no guarantee we'll end up on the same world as him any time soon. Would you kindly tell us where he went?"

The shopkeeper sighed, but dropped the act. "He's in that back alley," he said, nodding in that direction.

The girl with red hair grinned. "Thank you so much!" she said, starting off in that direction. The older girl smiled and followed after her.

"I'll stall him if he comes back this way!" the shopkeeper called after them.

He laughed to himself, then.

He couldn't help but wonder:

Who was that girl?

Or, more importantly, what was her relationship to that boy?

Why was she looking for him?

Who was _he?_

There were so many questions running through his head-

He doubted that Fate would be kind enough to answer any of them.


	123. Hide and Seek

I was going to wait to post this until I had posted the Sora and Shad question thingy, but Sora said something that made me require to post this first. So... posting this first

also! Big stuff going on over on the blog!

AND! there's an ASAS extra chapter exclusive to this Agrabah sequence (I sound like I'm advertising something...) go check it out! It's ch28 and labeled very specifically as "Extra Content: Agrabah". You shouldn't have trouble finding it!

**Update Feb 2014: **The next two chapters mention ASAS chapters, but it's just the Question Thing, which are chapters 27, 29 and 30 and all labeled "Questions"

* * *

><p>"Sora!?" Kairi called.<p>

She got no answer.

She hadn't really expected to.

But she had hoped.

"Sora!" she called again, this time glancing around for any signs of movement. "I know you're here!"

Still nothing.

Where was he?

"We'll look around," Tifa suggested finally. "But there's no guarantee that he hasn't left yet."

"He's still here," Kairi insisted, firmly. She started looking.

Sora was not behind any corners.

He was not behind the crates.

Nor the random pots.

He was not hiding amongst the discarded building materials.

And after finally pulling herself up onto the random ledge, she found that there was no reasonable place on this ledge for him to be hiding.

"Maybe he went this way," Tifa said, nodding down a pathway that she had found.

The pathway led to another, much larger, area. There were plenty more places to hide here; plenty of crates and more discarded building materials, along with empty stalls that looked like they might have once had merchandise in them some time ago. There were also more buildings that probably had plenty of hiding places on their rooftops.

"He's here," Kairi said, firmly, though for the life of her she wasn't quite sure why.

She didn't need reassurance.

Did she?

They searched the place thoroughly, looking behind every crate and checking every hiding spot at least twice. Kairi searched the abandoned stalls while Tifa, being slightly more accustomed to the sort of thing, checked the rooftops.

_It's like a game of hide-and-seek,_ Kairi told herself as she looked behind a bunch of empty crates in one of the stalls. _Like when we were kids._

She smiled, then.

_So all I need to do is…_

She closed her eyes, doing her best to block out any distractions. She listened, hard, for any of the tell-tale noises. She could not focus on the wind. She could not focus on Tifa's footsteps. She had to listen. Sora was here somewhere, and she would hear him. All she had to do was-

There!

She could hear him breathing. It was all uneven, as usual. He was probably trying to keep it even so that she wouldn't notice it, but failing, like always, because he was trying too hard.

She opened her eyes, and, using his breath as a guide, started looking for him.

From the sounds of it, he was close.

But…

His breath was frantic; more uneven than it should've been.

What was wrong?

_He was running. Probably just out of breath,_ Kairi told herself.

_Or he's scared._

She paused.

_Of what? Me?_

She almost laughed at that thought.

_That's crazy!_

She continued her search. He was not in the next stall she checked, though, where she was almost positive he would've been.

_Then why is he hiding from you?_ something in her nagged.

She tried not to dwell on that thought.

It was hard.

_It's probably just some stupid reason,_ she decided. _He's too embarrassed by all that's happened—_

That had to be it.

_Talk to him,_ her thoughts said. _Tell him that it's okay._

_ Maybe once he realizes that there's nothing for him to be worried about, he'll stop hiding._

_ But…_

_ What to say?_

She couldn't hear him anymore. Either she had walked too far away from him while she was thinking and absentmindedly searching, or he had finally calmed himself down. It happened from time to time, but she usually found him before then.

_You're distracting yourself!_ she scolded. _If this was back on the Islands, you would've found him by now!_

But this wasn't an innocent game of hide-and-seek.

This was real.

And he was hiding from her.

But why?

"Sora!" she called. "It's alright! You can come out now!"

_"I'm not going to hurt you"_ were the next words that crossed her mind, but the mere thought of saying them aloud nearly broke her heart. What had their relationship come to if she had to tell him_ that?_

"You don't have to hide, Sora," she tried. She laughed, then, in attempts to lighten the mood (or maybe it was just her mood). "I mean, I'd deny your worries and tell you that everything's okay, but it's kind of hard to do that if I don't know what you're worried about!"

_Keep talking._

_ Keep looking._

_ Listen for him._

_ Where were you when you stopped hearing him?_

"You can hide if you want, I guess! Just- just talk to me, okay?"

No response.

_Of course not._

_ But I know he's here!_

_ Somewhere…_

She had made her way back to where she was when she had heard Sora for the first time by this point, and was looking around, a bit more carefully. Her ears were straining to hear him, though with how frantic her thoughts were, there wasn't a high chance that she'd even notice.

But wait-

What was that?

Was that… movement?

Behind that stack of crates!

There was the slightest bit of movement – it could've been her eyes playing tricks on her – that looked remarkably like someone shifting into a slightly more comfortable position.

She inched over, slowly, not wanting to alarm him if he was there. He might run away.

She didn't want him to run away.

She wanted to see him. She wanted him to know that everything was okay. She wanted to find him, then hug him hard, and he'd do that stupid thing where he'd pick her up, squeeze the air out of her lungs, and half scare her to death. Then she would call him silly, and tell him that he was being an idiot for hiding, for avoiding her like he was. She'd tell him that whatever he was worried about didn't matter; all that mattered was—

"He's not up there," Tifa said as she climbed down from the rooftops.

She also effectively pulled Kairi out of her thoughts.

But Kairi did not move.

She kept her eyes firmly fixed on the spot where she thought Sora was.

She imagined their eyes meeting-

"Sora."

It was not a shout, but a whisper.

Sora squeezed his eyes shut. It took everything he had not to move, not to breathe too loudly, not to do _anything_ that might alert Kairi of his presence. She could not know that he was here. She could not find him.

_But she knows!_ his thoughts screamed.

She was staring right at him.

How could she not know that he was here?

"Are you there?"

_Yes! Yes I'm here!_ His heart was crying it, though he did not have the guts to say it aloud.

But, oh, how his heart yearned to be found!

All he had to do was step out – or even just raise his voice—

Or, heck, he could jump out at her, just like when they were kids. He'd scare her, and she'd yell at him, probably smack him, too. But she would be laughing. All would be forgiven.

All could be forgiven.

_No!_

How could he be forgiven?

Had he forgotten what he'd done to her?

_I can't be found!_

Why hadn't she found him yet? They couldn't have been much more than two feet away from each other. All she had to do was step forward, examine his hiding spot more closely—

Unless…

She had spent all this effort looking for him, but…

What if she was scared to find him?

Scared of what she might find. Scared that she might not find him, but a monster. Scared that when she pulled him out of the shadows, it wouldn't be the boy that she missed so dearly, but the boy who had broken her heart and mocked her.

He wasn't even sure who she'd find.

_Don't come closer, Kairi,_ he pleaded, silently.

_You don't want to find me._

_ I'm not the boy you want me to be._

She turned, then. Turned away from him. She started looking other places.

Sora refrained from breathing the sigh of relief that wanted to leave his mouth.

_Run!_ his thoughts told him.

_ You need to hide somewhere else!_

_She might've lost the nerve to look here for now, but there's no guarantee that she won't come back._

But where would he go?

_The rooftops!_

_ Tifa already checked there, and said that you weren't there. They won't look there again._

His eyes darted across the area, plotting out his route. He could use the crates he was hiding behind as steps, then haul himself up onto the ledge above him, and hide behind that raised part of the roof. Simple.

He just had to do it without being seen.

He peeked out from behind the crates.

They had their backs to him.

He quickly climbed on top of the crates, doing his best to be silent about it. The wood creaked slightly under his weight. He froze. He held his breath.

They didn't notice.

_Keep moving, before they do!_

He hauled himself up onto the ledge, slowly. It hurt to strain his side like he was right now, despite the fact that he had cast three Cures on it and had that elixir. He'd have to look at it, as soon as he had the time. But now, he had to hide.

He dove behind the raised part of the roof and crouched down.

He couldn't see them from here.

Which meant that they couldn't see him.

Right?

"Sora!"

He could hear Kairi calling. She sounded frantic, _upset_ even. His heart turned in his chest. He didn't mean to be causing her pain. He was trying to _avoid_ that.

"I know you're here! Why- why are you hiding from me?"

He squeezed his eyes shut.

_Because I'm not ready to face you…_

How selfish of him.

"Sora!?"

She sounded desperate now.

Hiding was hurting them much worse than the uncertainty of what would happen upon being found, it seemed.

"Maybe he's not here," he could hear Tifa say, calmly.

"No!" Kairi was protesting. He could imagine the look on her face: pouting slightly, infuriated because she wasn't getting her way. "I know he's here!"

And she sounded so hurt…

_I should stop hiding. I should._

"He could've panicked and ran off," Tifa suggested.

_Run._

_ Running is easier._

_ I could just have never been here. _

He ran. There was the exit to a different area, just ahead of him. He just had to reach it before—

"I heard that, Sora!"

–Kairi heard him.

There was laughter in her voice, just like when they were kids.

But he had to keep moving.

She had probably already seen him.

He couldn't be found.

"Sir Sora, stand down!"

He froze in his tracks.

He couldn't help it.

And the many rehearsals and performances and reenactments of that play had engraved the cue so firmly into his head that he couldn't keep his next words from falling out of his mouth.

"But- but Princess J- Kairi-"

It was even hard to remember to say Kairi's name instead of the name of her character.

What to say next?

There was no thief to blame.

Only himself.

"I- I can't."

The words were coming surprisingly easily.

"I- I've done so many terrible things. I- I hurt you…"

Was it really this easy to apologize?

"I think you deserve a second chance."

She was prompting him. Adapting the next line of the play to fit their current situation. Getting him to keep talking.

But… it was Tidus's line next, wasn't it?

Not that it mattered.

Did she mean what she said?

Did she honestly think that he deserved a second chance?

_A second chance?_ Sora thought, slowly. His heart was pounding in his chest. _So she does—_

Someone grabbed him by the shoulder. Their fingers were as cold as ice. His already pounding heart was racing now; not with excitement, but fear.

It was all flooding back to him.

What had happened after Hollow Bastion, who had found him, who had dragged him off—

All these fragments of memory… finally becoming clear in his head.

He was starting to think that he'd rather not remember.

Because—

"There you are," Maleficent whispered, all-too-sweetly, as usual.

"No!" He tried to protest, but found it impossible. He couldn't even flinch away.

"Kairi!" he shouted, frantic, but no sound left his mouth. "Kairi! Help me! _Kairi!_"

He was screaming her name, calling for her, desperately needing to be saved, but she could not hear him.

She could not save him.

"Come now," Maleficent said, teleporting them away. "It will be alright."

Sora had never wanted to cry so much in his entire life.


	124. Lies

Sorry it's been so long. I keep meaning to update, but I also keep getting sidetracked by other things

Don't expect a blog for this chapter. My only notes really complain about the fact that I have serious issues writing for Maleficent - please let me know how you think I did!  
>Also, just to let you know, there's a Journal Dump recently on the blog, along with the SoKai blog (which is... three posts old, I think. Or you can put sokai-dead-inside at the end of the url for my blog and it'll take you straight to it)  
>ONE OTHER NOTE! Sorry! Posterous has been deleting comments off and on, lately (including my own comments), so if you commented and I never got back to you, PLEASE CHECK and make sure that your comment is even there. Thank you.<p>

Besides that, I haven't started working on the Villains edition question thingy yet. Peach, I know you haven't submitted any questions, so if you'd like to feel free to do so (further details on that are in the last ASAS chapter)  
>The rest of you (Cookie excluded, as we've already talked)... Please refrain from asking any more questions unless they're RIDICULOUSLY good, as I have a freaking TON of questions already<p>

that's it (sorry for the spew of updates!)

* * *

><p><em>Sun.<em>

_ Bright._

_ He winced._

_ He could feel his face stinging._

_ Running._

_ Sand._

_ Sand._

_ Quicksand._

_ Sinking._

_ Kairi._

_ He could see her._

_ He was reaching out to her, shouting—_

Laughter.

_Cold, cruel, _cackling.

_He would've shuddered, but he could not move. He was only sinking faster—_

_ Darkness._

_ Surrounding him._

Crushing_ him._

_ His vision blurred, but he was aware of the bandages that covered one of his eyes. His other eye was—_

_ Wet with tears?_

Laughter.

_But it was him._

_ Laughing._

_ Grinning._

Enjoying.

_He had his blade in Riku's chest, and he could feel blood. It was soaking his side, running down his face, staining his hands—_

_ Monster._

_ Growling, frightening, wolf-like Nightmare._

_ Cringing._

_ Hiding._

_ Mickey—no._

_ Kairi._

_ Screaming._

Pleading.

_But no words would leave his lips—_

_ Only laughter._

_ That cold, cruel, _cackling_ laughter._

_xXx_

He woke up in a sweat.

_Kairi._

He could… he could remember—

Something about… something about- about a second—

It was gone.

He groaned, and then reached up to touch his face; his stinging what-would-soon-be-a-scar. He was surprised to feel bandages.

Bandages…

Fresh, _clean_, bandages.

He started shaking.

He knew where he was.

He knew Aerith had not bandaged him.

Which could only mean—

"So you're finally awake?"

_Maleficent._

Sora scrambled to his feet, stumbling slightly as he did so. His thoughts were fuzzy and his body wasn't moving quite like he wanted it to. He worked the most menacing glare he could onto his face. He doubted the bandages helped matters.

"What do you _want_ with me?"

His voice was shaky; it sounded so _weak._

If there was anything he didn't want to be right now, it was weak.

Though, really, he just didn't want to be _here._

"Don't be silly, child," Maleficent replied, coolly, a hint of laughter in her voice. "_You're_ the one who wants _me._"

Sora stared.

"Uhm… no." He laughed at the absurdity of that thought. "No I don't. If I did, I would've come _looking_ for you. And, as I recall, you're the one who _kidnapped me!_ Twice! I think." He swallowed. "I- I don't quite remember what happened in Hollow Bastion, but since you kidnapped me this time, I can easily assume that you tried to there."

Maleficent raised her eyebrows. "And if I told you that I did not 'kidnap' you, as you so claim?"

"Of _course_ you did!" Sora practically shouted in his frustration. "You came out of freaking nowhere, grabbed me by the shoulder, and then I screamed and no sound left my mouth. I remember that _very_ clearly, and it will probably haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life."

"And what were you doing before that?"

"I was…" Sora paused, horror flooding through him. He couldn't remember. "H-hiding." His certainty faltered. "Wasn't I?"

Maleficent slowly smiled.

"Hiding from…" He continued, slowly; trying to piece the memory back together in his head. "From… Kai- no. I-" He clutched his head. "I was… Aladdin found me. There was a sandstorm. We fought Heartless, we found shelter, Aladdin got mad," he muttered to himself, remembering what Riku had told him last time he was having trouble remembering things. "I went and bought potions. That shopkeeper let me hide in his stall, while- while… uhm…"

He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember who he had been hiding from.

Why couldn't he remember?

Why was his memory so dark?

"You were hiding from your pursuers."

Sora looked up at her, surprised. "I… I was?"

Everything was clicking back together in his head.

That made perfect sense.

But…

He frowned then, skeptical.

"Who was after me?"

"I do not know." She sounded legitimately sorry about it. But why would she be sorry? "But it was probably whoever tried to 'kidnap' you from Hollow Bastion."

Something felt wrong in his head.

This couldn't be right…

"But- but _you_ kidnapped me!"

"I merely took you away before they could find you," Maleficent explained, calmly. "I saved you."

Of course.

What had he been thinking?

Still…

"Well, you scared the crud out of me doing it!" Sora said, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice. "Next time, you should-" He froze. Something wasn't right. "Wait a minute. What am I saying!?" Anger flooded through him now, most of it at himself. "I may not remember who I was hiding from in Agrabah, but I'm _positive_ it's you I need to be running from now!"

He fished his star shard out of his pocket and was about to activate it when—

It practically exploded in his hands.

He dropped it, shocked. It clattered to the ground and skidded a couple of feet. It was smoking with darkness, and sparking slightly. He rushed over to it and picked it up, though it stung his fingers slightly. He tried to activate it, but all it did was fill his ears with a buzzing that soon became an unbearable whine that didn't stop until he dropped it. He stared at it in disbelief before turning to glare at Maleficent again.

"What did you do _that_ for!?" he demanded, furious. "That only further proves you kidnapped me-"

"They're tracking it."

"-I mean, obviously, you don't want me-" He stopped, brain finally processing what she had said. "What?"

"They're tracking it," she repeated. "How else do you think that they found you in Agrabah?"

"I- I don't-"

Panic—no, terror – was flooding through him.

What was he supposed to do now?

He could feel his thoughts clouding again.

"It would be safer for you if you stayed here," Maleficent told him. And to his utter horror, he found himself believing her. "They won't be able to find you here, or, really, so long as you are with me."

Terrified, his brain telling him one thing and his heart another, unsure of which to believe, and not really having another option, all he could reply was: "O-okay."

_xXx_

"Find him?" the shopkeeper asked as Tifa and Kairi passed by his stall again.

"We… hoped he was with you…" Tifa replied.

The shopkeeper shook his head.

"I- I said he was gone," Kairi said with a sniffle. "But- but why-"

She couldn't get her words out. There was this lump in her throat, and a knot in her stomach. She felt awful. Absolutely awful.

"I don't know why you're looking for him," the shopkeeper said, drawing her attention to him. "And I don't know why he's running. But I do know that you can find him."

She wanted to believe him.

She did.

But the events that happened mere minutes ago weighed heavy on her heart, and it was hard for her to maintain the optimism that she had had earlier.

"You have faith in him," the shopkeeper continued. "And your faith will bring him to you. Trust me. You will find him."

Kairi nodded, unable to make herself do much more, and started off. She could hear Tifa say a quick thank you behind her, but she found it hard to care. She just kept walking. She was too numb to do anything else.

_He was hiding from me._

_ Why was he hiding from me?_

_ Why in the Worlds would he think that he NEEDED to hide from me?_

_ Why-_

"Kairi!"

Tifa grabbed her by the shoulders, bringing her to a stop. Part of Kairi wanted to struggle. The rest of her didn't have the energy to try.

"Listen, Kairi, I know you're upset."

_Of course I'm upset._

_ He HID from me!_

"But you don't understand how _lucky_ we were. I hardly ever run into Cloud on the first world I visit! It's usually a good four if not five or six worlds before we cross paths. We'll keep moving, okay? We'll run into him again soon, I know it, we just have to keep looking!"

Kairi turned to glance at Tifa, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to form in her eyes. "I- I…" She didn't know what she had wanted to say. The tears were coming too quickly. She couldn't-

"I need to be alone."

She heard herself say it, but they did not feel like her words.

They felt too distant to have come from her mouth…

And before she knew what she was doing, she was running.

Three minutes and a very confusing route later found Kairi sitting on top of a building in some abandoned area much like the one they had been looking for Sora in earlier. She had her knees drawn tightly to her chest and her face buried in them, letting the tears come, letting her sobs take her.

_I don't understand…_

_ I mean, I didn't really expect this to easy, but—_

_ I didn't expect it to hurt this much, either. _

_ I thought—_

Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted as a rather large force came out of nowhere and knocked her to the ground. She blinked a few times in horror at the wolf that now had her pinned. She didn't know what to do.

Should she scream?

Would anyone hear her if she did?

Her thoughts drifted to Sora, who would've no doubt by now wrestled the wolf to the ground with his bare hands if he were here. The tears that had been scared to a halt were quickly returning to her eyes.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" someone shouted. And, though Kairi couldn't see anyone, someone certainly pushed the wolf off of her and wrestled it to the ground. The wolf certainly didn't seem very happy about this, and snapped at them a few times before answering with a short series of barks. Kairi had no clue what it meant, but her invisible savior must have, because they hissed: "I know she is! But that doesn't mean you have to- OWWW!" From the looks of things, the wolf had succeeded in biting them. A frantic string of insults and curses flew from their mouth.

Kairi watched in a cross between confusion and amazement as her invisible savior and the wolf started attacking each other. It was extremely odd to watch the wolf fight seemingly nothing, even though Kairi _knew_ that someone was there. The wolf soon them had them pinned to the ground.

"Bad dog!" they shouted. Kairi didn't see what happened next; it went too quickly. There was a flash of light that screamed darkness, a blur of motion, and suddenly the wolf was quite a few feet away from where it had currently been, whimpering in pain and moving very little. Kairi wasn't sure if she should feel sorry for it or not.

"Sorry about that." From the sounds of things and the way the sand shifted, she had a feeling that her invisible savior had just gotten to their feet, and for some reason could imagine them dusting themselves off. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

"Just a bit scared," Kairi replied. "Thanks for saving me."

"It was nothing."

"Hey!" Kairi's eyes widened in shock as she finally realized who her invisible savior was. "It's _you! _You're that hallucination boy that I kept talking to on the Islands- well-" She shifted nervously. "You're obviously _not_ a hallucination…"

"You had your doubts?"

"Hmm, you try talking to someone you can't see and only you can hear."

She got the sense that he was scowling at her.

"I could do without the sarcasm…"

"You aren't hurt, are you?" she asked, quickly, realizing that the wolf had bitten him at least once if not more than that.

"I'm fine."

"You aren't lying, are you?"

"No, trust me, I'm not even bleeding, and the pain will go away… sometime. I'm not human enough to bleed."

She frowned. "What are you, then, if you aren't human?"

"I- uh-" He made a few unintelligible noises before finally settling on: "I have no clue. I just sort of… exist."

The wolf laughed – well, it laughed as well as a wolf _could_ laugh.

Kairi raised her eyebrows, but decided not to press the matter.

"Anyway, uh, sorry about the wolf," the boy said. "I'd say it's not usually like this, but it's been a pain in my- uh- neck ever since I decided to get him. I thought 'Oh, a tracking wolf, I could use you!' And then it turns out to be a lazy, useless failure who's done nothing but take me where I _don't_ need to be and attack me." He sounded pretty annoyed. The wolf seemed to grin slightly.

"It's okay," Kairi said, answering the first part of all that. She didn't quite know how to answer the rest of it. She doubted the boy would mind. He seemed like the kind of person who just liked to rant, and couldn't care less what everyone else thought of said rant.

Sora was like that.

Or, he used to be, anyway.

His tendency to rant had stopped sometime around the time Riku had arrived…

"Are you okay?" the boy asked, suddenly.

Kairi frowned. "Uhm…" She was a bit confused. She hadn't given any sign that she was upset, not that she knew of. Had there been something in her voice? But she hadn't said anything… Facial expression? Could he even see her facial expressions, or was he limited to just hearing her, like she was to him?

"You, just, seem upset, that's all," he said, quickly. "At least, I think. I don't know. Human emotions confuse me…"

"I'm just…" She swallowed. "Looking for someone. Sora. I mentioned Sora, didn't I?"

There was a pause, then: "Yeah."

She imagined that he had tried nodding first, only to remember that that didn't work—not that she really knew if that's why he paused or not.

"I finally decided I wanted to find him again." For the life of her, she had no clue why she was telling the mysterious boy about this. It seemed like information that she shouldn't be giving away to people she didn't know, but… she knew this boy, didn't she? "So I'm looking for him."

"Haven't found him yet, I gather."

She shook her head, though she was suddenly skeptical of whether or not he could see. "That's not the problem."

"You found him?" The boy sounded surprised. "Why are you upset, then?"

"He… hid from me…" she said, slowly. "And I- I don't know why he would do that. I- We trust each other, or I thought we did. Even if he was scared to face me, I- I wouldn't imagine that he would _hide_." The thought was illogical. Plenty of people hid when they were scared.

But she wasn't sure what he had been scared of—

And that's what hurt.

"He's… had some trouble with the darkness, hasn't he?"

Kairi made a face. "How do you know that?"

"You- You mentioned something about it." The answer seemed too quick to be true, but Kairi didn't feel like arguing. Of all things that she should worry about, this was not one of them.

"Okay."

"Maybe… the darkness in him made him hide. It was scared, because it knew that you could save him, and it didn't want that. So it made him hide, so that you couldn't find him. So that you couldn't save him."

Kairi laughed slightly. That was actually the most comforting thing that she had heard nearly all day. Sora would hide, yes, but only because his darkness made him. There was still hope.

"I don't know why it only made him hide, though…" The way the boy said this suggested that he was thinking out loud. "There are a million other ways it could've pushed you away."

"Like what?" She was almost scared to ask.

"I think you know of quite a few of them."

Kairi thought about it for a moment. All those times Sora had yelled at her, screamed at her, told her to get lost—that was the darkness. Not him.

Hope was rapidly growing within her.

_But… he said there were a million other ways—_

_ And?_

_ I know now, that it's not him. It's not him yelling at me, it's not him hiding from me, it's not him fighting me—_

_ It's just the darkness._

_ My knight did not betray me._

_ The darkness took him from me._

_ And I will take him back._

"Thank you," she said.

"What for?" The boy sounded confused.

Kairi smiled. "You've given me hope again."

There was silence for a moment. "No problem," he said, finally. Kairi couldn't quite read the tone in his voice, but she didn't think he sounded very happy about it. Maybe he was just upset, like she was…

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He laughed. "Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem kind of… bothered, that's all," Kairi replied, grimacing. "Sorry."

"I…" He was silent for a while. She waited patiently for him to say something. She couldn't tell if he was mid-thought concerning what he was going to say next, and if he was, she wouldn't want to interrupt him. "I'm looking for someone too," he said, finally. "A… friend, of mine." He didn't sound very pleased about saying that. "Well, not that you can really call someone who'd shove you off a cliff if presented the chance, a friend—but I'd do the same to him too. And I'd laugh at him. But, so as not to complicate things, he's my friend. Besides, there's this connection between us that allows us to share thoughts, so we kind of have to put up with each other whether we want to or not."

"Share thoughts?" Kairi asked, intrigued.

"It's complicated," the boy said, waving the matter aside. Kairi made a face, but let the matter go.

"Why are you looking for him?" she asked after a moment. "If you don't mind me asking."

"It's sort of my job. Be much easier if he'd stop avoiding me…"

Kairi couldn't help but laugh. "I'll bet," she said.

"Tell me about it!" She could hear the grin in his voice.

The wolf suddenly got to its feet; there was a growl in its throat.

"Uh-oh!" The boy said. "Your friend Tifa's coming, I better get going!"

"Why?" Kairi asked.

From the tone in his voice, she could imagine that he was raising his eyebrows at her (or something of that sort). "You _really_ want her to know that you've been having conversations with some invisible boy?"

Kairi grimaced and shook her head. That certainly wasn't something that she really wanted anyone to know.

"And, more importantly, me and Tifa had a run-in a while back. She doesn't think too highly of me. Be best if we didn't cross paths again. C'mon you lazy wolf, get over here!"

The wolf made its way over to the boy, taking its time about it. It closed its mouth around what Kairi assumed was the boy's hand, but it could easily have been his arm or even the edge of his shirt. The wolf started leading the boy off.

Kairi frowned at this, a bit confused. From what she knew, the boy usually just… disappeared. Of course, she could easily be wrong about that, but: "Why are you doing that?" she asked, slowly.

The boy paused (which the wolf didn't seem too happy about). "Hmm?"

"Why is the wolf leading you?" she clarified. "Or is this usually how you do things?"

"I, uh-" He was silent for a moment. "I mentioned I was looking for my friend, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"Well… that's why I got the wolf," he explained slowly. "So it could take me to where he is. I mean, normally, I'd just teleport straight to him, but…" He was silent for a moment more, and when he continued, his voice was much quieter than it had been before. "But I don't actually know where he is. I- I've lost all connection with him… and…"

He actually sounded really worried about this. Reflecting his worry, Kairi prompted: "And?"

"I guess- I guess that scares me." He sounded like he was admitting to something that he would be scolded for. "The connection between us is a law of nature, practically. The fact that it's not there-" He trailed off.

"Do you… think he's dead?" Kairi asked.

Silence.

"I think it's worse."

Kairi swallowed, not liking where this was heading.

"What could be worse?"

"Someone's blocking the connection," the boy said, firmly. "Someone _has_ to be. And so… whoever's blocking it is _powerful_; powerful enough to kill a law of nature. And- and if I have to fight them to get him back…"

Kairi could only imagine how scared this boy actually was. Sure, she was going through something similar, with Sora and all. But… even Sora wasn't _that_ far gone. There was no extremely evil person keeping him from her; just the darkness. Sure, the darkness would be hard to fight, but it couldn't possibly be _that_ hard.

She swallowed.

"You can do it!" she said, finally. "I know you can." She hardly knew the boy, but what little she knew about him just _screamed:_ 'There ain't nothing in these Worlds that can knock me down!' She admired that about him. And if he had an attitude like that, she was starting to feel sorry for this mysterious super-villain who had his 'friend'.

"And… when you get him back," she continued. "I- I'd like to meet him, if I could."

The boy chuckled. "Sure you do, sweetheart."

He and the wolf started off again.

"You should wear it, you know," the boy called back to her, right as he and the wolf disappeared from the world (Kairi could only see the wolf disappear, but she figured he did, too.) "His necklace."

Kairi frowned, and then pulled Sora's necklace out of her pocket. After a second of consideration, she went ahead and slipped it around her neck.

She didn't realize until much later that day that she had not mentioned a thing about Sora's necklace to the mystery boy.

* * *

><p>I'm not a huge fan of notes at the end of the chapter, but I feel this is necessary. Shad did NOT mean to give Kairi hope. Just clarifying (more details on that will show up in the next chapter)<p> 


	125. Scared

Sorry to spam you with chapters; I know I posted the question thing to ASAS like... five minutes ago... (but I figured this might be important to further understand some of Shad's answers. Even if not, I need to post it for the purposes of my blog post =P)

Anyway, you can thank KKBeckett for this chapter. She suggested that I write a sort of "addendum" (as she said) from Shad's POV to post to ASAS to further emphasize that he did NOT mean to give Kairi hope.  
>However, Shad, being Shad, took the scene and slapped 3000 words on it, so I'm like "I'm just going to post it to Dead Inside as it's own chapter"<p>

I mean, it's not like I haven't posted the same thing from two different POVs before, right?

Btw, Shad started like... getting all novel-y (KH novel-y) at the end there. With the way he made me write everything, and the things he was saying. I was going to say that he was channeling Vanitas, but EVERYONE in the KH novels has done this at some point of time... so... *shifty glance*

ALSO! If you want, you're free to ask Maleficent and Xemnas questions now (considering some of you had already done so, I couldn't tell everyone else that it wasn't allowed) PLEASE! DO NOT! Ask Xemnas what he is doing. I mean, almost all of you have asked already, so I don't see why you'd ask twice, but for those of you who haven't asked DON'T ASK XEMNAS WHAT HE IS DOING! sheesh  
>And, I hope you all feel better, because you're forcing me to do character development that I've been trying to avoid doing. I mean, I need to do it, so I guess it's a good thing, but I'm not entirely enjoying it...<p>

On another note, I plan to open up a question thing for everyone who hasn't been- kidding. Kidding. I mean, I suppose I'll eventually do a question thing for like, Aqua and Ven and other characters who haven't been asked anything but NOT NOW, ugh, I am so pooped and ready to get back to Riku angsting. So, I'll also be putting off interrogating Maleficent and Xemnas for a while. Leaves you plenty of time to ask them questions, though.

Enough of my ranting, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

><p>"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" he shouted, catching sight of what the wolf was doing. It had Kairi pinned to the ground. Though, Kairi didn't look very scared. She didn't <em>feel<em> very scared, either (he would've noticed if she did).

Enough about whether or not Kairi was scared.

The wolf seemed very likely to be about ready to bite her head off, and Sora's Shadow couldn't have that.

Though, there was a part of him that argued that if the wolf killed Kairi, then he could drag Sora into darkness no problem. However, it didn't matter what that part of him argued, because he was already wrestling the wolf off of Kairi. It tried to bite at him, only pausing to say:

'But she's _light!_'

See, even the wolf thought was a good idea to kill her.

"I know she is!" he hissed. "But that doesn't mean you have to-" The wolf finally succeeded in biting him, and he screamed in pain and then started shouting profanities at it.

Boy, he was not in a good mood.

He couldn't find Sora.

His hold on Kairi hadn't lasted, and he was still bitter about that.

And his insides were conflicting about whether or not killing Kairi was a good idea, which definitely didn't make him feel any better.

He was in the middle of trying to convince himself that he needed Kairi, because she might help him find Sora, when the wolf attacked him. He swore at it again and kicked it, though kicking it really didn't do him any good. It bit his leg, and he had to wrestle it off. He whacked it on the nose a few times, but that did nothing but anger it, and it soon had him pinned to the ground.

"Bad dog!" he screamed, awfully sick of ending up in this position. Frustrated, he summoned darkness to him and used it to throw the wolf off of him. It flew through the air, landed, and then skidded through the sand for quite a few feet before finally stopping. It whimpered in pain, but didn't move to get back up.

Sora's Shadow sighed and pushed himself to his feet. "Sorry about that," he said, dusting himself off. He gave Kairi a worried look. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

She shook her head. "Just a bit scared," Kairi replied. "Thanks for saving me."

A bit scared?

That was almost an overstatement.

He didn't know what to think about that, so he just told her that saving her had been nothing.

"Hey!" Kairi's voice sounded very much like she had just realized something. "It's _you_! You're that hallucination boy that I kept talking to on the Islands—well—you're obviously not a hallucination."

He could feel her nervousness.

_What, is she afraid she'll upset me or something?_

"You had your doubts?" he asked, deciding to humor her.

"Hmm, you try talking to someone you can't see and only you can hear," she replied. The sarcasm was so thick in her voice that it could've choked him.

He scowled.

"I could do without the sarcasm…"

"You aren't hurt, are you?" she asked, quickly. He could feel her worry. Worry towards _him._ That was an odd feeling. He'd never had anyone worry about him, let alone a girl. Certainly never Kairi…

He shook his head to clear that thought.

"I'm fine," he assured her.

She wasn't convinced.

"You aren't lying, are you?"

He rolled his eyes. He was beginning to think that he didn't really like having a girl worry about him. "No, trust me, I'm not even bleeding, and the pain will go away… sometime. I'm not human enough to bleed."

"What are you, then, if you aren't human?"

"I- uh-"

_Shit!_

_ Idiot, why'd you have to go and say that?_

_ What's it about Kairi that just makes me spew the first thing that comes to mind, huh? Does Sora get this way around her, too? Damn. It's annoying._

"I have no clue. I just sort of… exist."

'_Sort of exist'?_

_ Was that SERIOUSLY the best that you could come up with?_

_ You could've said you were a ghost._

_ Or an invisible vampire._

_ Or something better than 'sort of exist'._

To make things worse, now that damn wolf was laughing at him. He shot a glare over at it, then turned back to Kairi.

"Anyway, uh, sorry about the wolf," he said. "I'd say it's not usually like this, but it's been a pain in my-"

_Can't say ass…_

"Uh- neck ever since I decided to get him. I thought: 'Oh, a tracking wolf, I could use you!' And then it turns out to be a lazy, useless failure who's done nothing but take me where I _don't_ need to be and attack me." He threw another glare over at it.

It grinned.

"It's okay," Kairi said.

She turned away slightly, obviously thinking about something. He wished he could read _her_ thoughts, but he had to settle with sensing emotions. She seemed a bit upset… probably thinking about Sora or something stupid like that.

Sora's Shadow was very surprised to find these words leaving his lips:

"Are you okay?"

He wanted to clap his hand over his mouth or something, but that would be stupid.

But why had he asked that?

Did he care?

He didn't particularly like seeing Kairi upset, no, but what was he supposed to do to fix it? Why bring it up?

And he had confused her, too, because she hadn't been doing anything to tip him off towards the fact that she was upset. The only reason he even knew was because he could sense emotions, and-

"You, just, seem upset, that's all," he said, quickly, hoping to cover himself before things went wrong. "At least, I think." He glanced around, trying to look confused, though it occurred to him that it didn't do him any good. Oh well, the confused tone carried to his voice, at least. "Human emotions confuse me…"

No they didn't, of course.

But not being human could play to his advantage if he worked this right. He was glad he had mentioned it to Kairi, though he still wished he could've come up with something better than 'sort of exist'.

"I'm just…" Kairi began, but paused. "Looking for someone. Sora." She turned to him. "I mentioned Sora, right?"

_Not often, but it's not like it matters, since I'm his Shadow and can't NOT know who he is._

"Yeah."

"I finally decided I wanted to find him again. So I'm looking for him."

_That would explain why she's here, and not on the Islands._

_ I had wondered…_

_ Somehow I didn't bother asking…_

"Haven't found him yet, I gather," he said.

She shook her head, though it didn't seem like she was confirming his statement. She seemed too… not-agreeing. He didn't know what to call it, but it definitely didn't feel like she was agreeing with him. It felt like she wanted to agree, but couldn't, and didn't like the fact that she couldn't—

"That's not the problem."

She didn't have to say that for him to figure that out.

It didn't stop him from being surprised, though.

"You found him!?"

_How the hell did she manage to find Sora?_

_ The connection between me and him is much stronger than the connection between him and her!_

_ And how did I miss him!?_

_ He can't have left that long ago!_

_ Damn, I should've stayed through that stupid sandstorm._

_ But, wait a minute, if she found him…_

_ He's not here._

_ He should be here._

_ If she found him, he should be here right now. Unless he ran. The idiot probably ran._

_ But that's a good thing._

_ If he ran, that means that I can find him._

_ Still…_

"Why are you upset, then?"

"He… hid from me…" she said, slowly. He didn't like the tone in her voice. He didn't like the fear that was rising up within her. She wasn't scared when faced with the wolf, so why did Sora hiding scare her? "And I- I don't know why he would do that. I- We trust each other, or I thought we did. Even if he was scared to face me, I- I wouldn't imagine that he would _hide._"

She seemed so frantic.

So upset.

And so _scared._

He hated it.

And he hated that he hated it.

"He's… had some trouble with the darkness, hasn't he?" he found himself saying.

"How do you know that?" she asked, skeptical.

_Oh shit, can't let her know I'm his Shadow…_

_ Not that me knowing he's fallen into darkness—_

_ Why the hell am I worrying about this?_

"You mentioned something about it," he told her. Hopefully she wouldn't press the matter.

She didn't.

"Maybe… the darkness made him hide," he continued. "It was scared, because it knew that you could save him, and it didn't want that. So it made him hide, so that you couldn't find him. So that you couldn't save him."

It made perfect sense, of course. His darkness made him hide, and then made him run, so that Kairi couldn't save him, and that's why he wasn't here now.

"I don't know why it only made him hide, though… There are a million other ways it could've pushed you away…"

_Hiding seems awfully… tame, considering what his darkness has a habit of doing._

_ Why didn't he lash out at you?_

_ Scream and tell you that he hated you and never wanted to see your face again before running away?_

_ That would've been certainly been more effective._

"Like what?" she asked.

"I think you know quite a few of them," he replied, hardly even thinking about it.

_If it had made him say that he hated her, or convinced her that he was a monster with no hope of being saved – and I know it could've done either – she'd give up trying to find him._

_ She'd—_

_ Shit._

_ That was…_

_ Hope._

Hope was rising up within Kairi; he could feel it.

And to make things worse—

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"You've given me hope again."

_He _was the one who gave it to her.

_Dammit!_

He wanted to strangle something.

_How the hell could you just go and give her hope like that, you idiot!? What the hell is wrong with you!? Why'd you even say ANYTHING to make the situation better? You should've just left it be! What would it matter if she was upset?_

_ And more importantly; why couldn't I stop myself from talking!?_

_ It just came out of my mouth—I didn't even mean to say most of that! It was stupid to say! Idiot, idiot, idiot!_

_ Of course she's going to gain hope if you go and tell her things like that!_

"No problem," he told her, though his teeth were firmly clenched.

"Are you okay?"

_Me?_

_ Why is she asking me if I'm okay?_

He laughed.

"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be?"

Why wasn't he as sure of that statement as he normally would be?

"You seem kind of… bothered, that's all," Kairi said. "Sorry."

"I-"

_Sora._

He frowned.

_Why am I thinking about him?_

_ What's he got to do with anything?_

_ I'm not upset that I can't find him – angry, yeah – but I'm more upset about the fact that I just friggin gave Kairi hope and—_

_ And…_

_ Sora._

As much as he hated to admit it, he felt kind of empty without Sora's random thoughts pounding around in the back of his mind. He wanted to reach out and try and find that connection again, but he knew that it would do him no good. The connection wasn't there, it wasn't—

"I'm looking for someone, too," he told Kairi.

He wasn't sure why he was telling her.

But maybe he'd feel better.

"A…"

_Oh, what to call him?_

_ Brother?_

_ Ugh._

"Friend of mine…"

_God, I hate having to say that. I should've gone with brother. You can be related to a brother without being close or remotely friendly to them._

"Well, not that you can really call someone who'd shove you off a cliff if presented the chance, a friend – but I'd do the same to him, too. And I'd laugh at him. But, so as not to complicate things, he's my friend. Besides, there's this connection between us that allows us to share thoughts, so we kind of have to put up with each other."

_Not really._

_ But I want to mention the connection._

_ I want to tell Kairi how empty I feel without it._

_ Not that she can fix it…_

He was being irrational, he knew that.

"Share thoughts?" Kairi asked.

_She wants to know._

_ I can tell her…_

_ I could—_

_ "_It's complicated._" _He wave the matter aside.

_I should've told her._

_ Maybe it would make this… is that pain? There's a… pain, in my chest._

_ Is it because I'm not connected to Sora?_

_ That's absurd!_

_ Why did I just notice it now, anyway?_

_ And… why does it hurt so much?_

He didn't like this pain. He didn't like pain at all, and the fact that not being close to Sora was causing him pain made it even worse. He didn't need Sora. He couldn't.

"Why are you looking for him?" Kairi asked, drawing his attention away from the pain.

"It's… sort of my job," he said, unable to come up with anything else. "Be much easier if he'd stop avoiding me…"

_Be much easier if I hadn't lost connection with him…_

Kairi laughed. "I'll bet."

He couldn't help but smile, too. "Tell me about it!"

_And this pain…_

_ I want it to go away._

_ It goes away, just a little, if I can laugh with Kairi._

_ Maybe I should tell her…_

_ Maybe she could help me like I helped her._

_ Not that I meant to help her…_

_ But this pain!_

The wolf jumped to its feet; growling. He knew what that meant. Someone was coming. And, from the feel of things, it was Tifa. Great.

"Your friend Tifa's coming, I better get going!" he said, trying to maintain his composure.

"Why?"

He stared, surprised.

"You _really_ want her to know that you've been having conversations with some invisible boy?"

Kairi grimaced and shook her head.

"And, more importantly, me and Tifa had a run-in a while back. She doesn't think too highly of me. Be best if we didn't cross paths again." He turned to the wolf, waving it over. "C'mon you lazy wolf! Get over here!"

The wolf came, though it took its sweet time about it. He held his hand out to it, and it took it gently in its mouth. Slowly, they started forward.

"Why are you doing that?"

He paused and turned to Kairi. "Hmm?"

The wolf bit his hand to show its annoyance, but he ignored it.

"Why is the wolf leading you?" Kairi clarified. "Or is this usually how you do things?"

"I, uh-"

_Should I bother?_

Most of him was nagging 'no', saying that he had wasted enough time here as it was. But some faint part of him was shouting an enthusiastic 'yes!' for some reason. Not entirely sure why, he listened to the latter part of him.

"I mentioned I was looking for my friend, didn't I?"

"Yeah," she said.

"Well… that's why I got the wolf," he explained. "So it could take me to where he is. I mean, normally, I'd just teleport straight to him, but…"

_But I lost connection with him._

_ I don't know where he is…_

_ I…_

_ I could tell her._

_ I could tell Kairi._

Why was he so excited about that?

"But I… don't actually know where he is," he said, quietly, hoping not to show his excitement. It wasn't hard to cover it up. All he had to do was think about what he was saying and not about the fact that he was telling Kairi. "I- I've lost all connection with him… and…"

He trailed off.

Now what?

_This pain in my chest—_

_ It's…_

"And?" Kairi prompted.

"I guess-"

_Is that really pain?_

_ Or—_

"I guess that scares me."

_No!_

_ That's absurd!_

_ Why—_

He knew why.

"The connection between us is a law of nature, practically," he said. "The fact that it's not there-"

_Scares me._

_ Makes me feel empty._

_ I don't like it._

_ I HATE it!_

"Do you… think he's dead?" Kairi seemed worried.

_Of course he's not dead._

_ I'd know if he was._

_ And, besides, you just saw him._

"I think it's worse."

There was a sudden wave of anxiety that passed through Kairi.

It shocked him.

Because that's exactly what he was feeling.

"What could be worse?"

"Someone's blocking the connection. Someone _has_ to be."

_I wouldn't have lost connection with him if someone wasn't blocking it., I'd- I'd still be in contact with him, I could find him, I could—_

_ I could get rid of this damn pain!_

"And whoever's blocking it is _powerful_; powerful enough to kill a law of nature. And- and if I have to fight them to get him back…"

Since when would he be doing any fighting?

Did he honestly plan to fight to get Sora back?

Sora didn't mean _that_ much to him.

…

Did he?

"You can do it!" Kairi told him, firmly. "I know you can."

And she truly did.

He could feel it.

_Faith._

No one had ever had faith in him before.

He wasn't sure if he liked the feeling, but it certainly felt better than the pain, so he embraced it. He'd take Kairi's annoying faith over that stupid pain.

"And… when you get him back," she continued. "I- I'd like to meet him, if I could."

Of course she'd say that.

He chuckled.

"Sure you do, sweetheart."

He and the wolf started off again.

He wasn't quite sure why he said what he said next.

"You should wear it, you know," he told her. "His necklace."


	126. Brothers

Erm... I don't think I have anything important about the chapter itself to say.

In other news, I've moved to a new blog host, for various reasons (posterous randomly deleting comments the main one). The url is the same, just at blogspot instead of posterous. Link's on my profile (very top of my profile).

**Update Feb 2014: **If you haven't yet read the 19 chapters of ASAS (ch14-22 roughly), along with ch13 "Broken Trust", you may want to do so before reading this chapter. (I could've mentioned this sooner, but it seemed to make most sense to mention it now when it was relevant.)

* * *

><p>19 slowly made his way over to where Vexen and 2 were sitting; a table in the corner of the main room. "Have either of you seen 23 recently?" he asked, a bit nervously.<p>

2 shook his head.

"Not recently, no," Vexen said.

19 bit his lip. "I hoped he was just avoiding me…"

"Is he in his room?" 2 asked.

"No. I checked. I've checked everywhere."

19 seemed awfully frantic.

"19…" 2 said slowly. "Are you alright?"

"I- I…" 19 swallowed. "He's the only brother I have left… I don't want to lose him, too. And I'm afraid he might've…" He trailed off, and then whispered: "He hasn't been himself lately."

"He was rather… jumpy the last time I talked to him," Vexen said. "Granted, that was a while ago…"

"When?"

"Shortly after Toby arrived."

2 frowned. "That was three days ago," he said.

"Was it?" Vexen asked, sounding _very_ surprised. "It felt like longer…" He grimaced. "Time here confuses me…"

19 sighed. "That was the last time I saw him. I tried talking to him, but he was awfully angry at me, so I figured I'd leave him alone for a few days so he could calm down. I haven't been avoiding him, though- I'd have to know where he was to do that."

"It's only been three days," 2 told 19 calmly. "He could easily be avoiding _everyone_. Or hiding in his room-"

"I already checked his room," 19 snapped. "And I've asked nearly everyone. No one's seen him."

"And?" Vexen asked, apparently not getting the point.

2 (smartly) interrupted 19 before he could start ranting (which he had a nasty habit of doing, especially when it concerned one of his brothers, and _especially_ if that brother was 23). "Isn't that the Assassin that Axel trained to warn us of a raid?" he asked, pointing said Assassin out.

Both 19 and Vexen turned to look at it.

"Well, it has been a while since there's been a raid," Vexen mused. He then frowned and turned back to 2. "It has been a while, hasn't it?"

"Long enough," 2 said, rising to his feet. "I better go warn Alpha."

"I got it," Vexen said, stopping him. "Maybe he'll leave me alone with the computer…"

2 chuckled. "Good luck with that." He cleared his throat and raised his voice: "Be prepared for a raid!" he called. A few of the Marluxia Replicas in the room summoned their scythes and stood ready for an attack. Someone escorted 6 to where he wouldn't be a nuisance.

19 glanced around, still rather frantic. "If there's supposed to be a raid, where is it?" he asked. "We've usually gotten a Larxene or a couple of Marluxias by now. And I don't see 37…"

"They're finally trying a different tactic?" 2 suggested. "Or maybe the Assassin got to us early. That'd be a nice change…"

"I suppose it would be," 19 agreed.

The sound of a dark corridor opening shattered that hope.

However, it was only a single dark corridor. And out from it stepped not a Larxene Replica, not a Marluxia Replica, not 37, but-

"23!?" 19 asked, thoroughly baffled.

"I don't know why you're surprised," 23 replied. The Assassin went from trying to get someone's attention to attacking 23. 23 frowned at it for a moment before kicking it away. Either not thinking the matter worth its time, or satisfied that it had done its job, the Assassin left.

A pair of Berserkers appeared to flank 23.

"No…" 2 whispered. "They didn't get you, too…"

23 ignored him. "Didn't see this coming, 19?" There was a nasty sneer in his voice.

19 stared, swallowed a few times, and then finally managed to say: "Why- why would I?"

"You see everything else coming!"

"No I don't!" 19 replied. "And you- you can't still be mad about that!"

"19, let me handle this," 2 said, slowly. "23… you haven't—not that I really expect you to give me a proper answer, but—you haven't been Rewritten, have you?"

"Of course not!"

The Berserkers shifted slightly, not seeming to enjoy the fact that they hadn't been ordered to do anything yet.

"And this is how you planned to betray us? By showing up and gloating? Poor plan, I think." 2 shook his head in disappointment.

23 got a rather flustered look.

"Oh, I get it, you're the _distraction_!" 2 laughed. "Don't think that you being a distraction will get someone into the Computer Room, and if you're looking for Namine, you're wasting your time. She's not here."

"I never said I was a distraction," 23 said.

"Then just what _are_ you doing?"

23 didn't reply.

2 rolled his eyes. "Can someone come take care of these Berserkers?" he called. "They look like they're getting bored, and that might not be a good thing."

The nearest Marluxia, Snapdragon, nodded and took out one of the Berserkers while it was caught off guard. The second Berserker put up more of a fight.

"So you've really betrayed us, 23?" Snapdragon asked once the second Berserker was gone. "This isn't just some stupid joke?"

"Berserkers would only listen to someone on Saix's side," 2 said sadly.

Snapdragon threw a glare at 23. "Good, because this would've been one _cruel_ joke."

23 said nothing.

"Go tell Alpha what's happened, will you?" 2 asked.

Snapdragon nodded and headed off.

23 watched him go, looking a bit confused. "What's Alpha going to do?"

"Change the passwords to anything you had access to," 2 replied simply.

23 laughed. "Like I had access to anything…"

2 frowned. "I don't understand you, 23. Why betray us _now_? Why like _this?_ Wouldn't you have been more useful as a double agent? We all trusted you."

"I couldn't stand staying around here," 23 said. Before 2 could even consider asking why, he continued: "Besides, I was a double agent for a while. How else do you think they knew to go after Tulip?"

19, who had been staring at 23 for the past few minutes trying to process what was happening, suddenly screamed.

"_You!?_" He sounded extremely shocked, extremely hurt, and looked very much like he wanted to punch 23 in the face. 2 figured the only thing that was keeping him from doing so was the fact it was 23 he would be punching.

"Again, 19, I'm surprised you didn't know," 23 said calmly.

19 stared. A long silence passed. 19 swallowed, and then finally said: "Well, was Namine there?"

23 made a face. "What does she have to do with-"

"Just answer the question, 23."

"No, I- I suppose she wasn't."

"Then there's your answer." 19's voice was so quiet that it was a surprise anyone could even hear him. "I didn't know about it."

"So, what, you only know something if Namine's around?"

"Well…" 19 shrugged. "Considering it's her pictures I'm learning everything from, it's not much of a surprise, is it?"

23 stared, truly baffled. "What are you going on about?" he asked, slowly.

"Pictures," 19 repeated. "That's all that's in the binder. Pictures that Namine drew in her early stages of programming that for some odd reason predict the future. It's really only bits and pieces, and I've only been able to gather a rough idea of things that happen to _her._"

"What?"

"I do not know everything, 23. I never have. I know random moments that Namine felt like drawing, no more. You're making a big deal out of nothing."

23 was silent for a long moment. His hands slowly clenched into fists. "You could've just shown me!" he screamed.

"Why?" 19 asked. "Why would you care?"

"That doesn't matter! You aren't supposed to keep things from your brothers!"

"You aren't supposed to betray your brothers, either!"

There was an amazing amount of hurt in 19's voice.

A murmur went up through the rest of the room. Apparently, no one else had been paying attention to this conversation until now. The murmur grew steadily louder until:

"23 did what!?" Joseph shouted from the other side of the room.

"Why are you telling me this, 19?" 23 asked, ignoring the clamor.

"Because if I tell you what I've been keeping from you, maybe you'll forgive me," 19 replied quietly.

23 laughed. "You think _that's_ the reason I'm betraying you? It might have been a factor, but really, I'm just sick of this stupid rebellion! I'm sick of sitting here and watching you all treat Riku like he's some sort of god!"

"We don't-" 2 began, but 23 wouldn't hear it.

"He's not a god! He's just some kid with anger management issues and no respect! He'd kill us all in a heartbeat if we weren't so nice to him!"

"And you'd rather be with Saix?" 2 asked. "He'd do the same!"

23 glared. "Knowing what'll happen if I do something wrong is better than having my well-being lay in the hands of the emotional state of some bipolar teenager!"

"But it's not just when you do something wrong," a small voice said. 2 was surprised to see Toby standing there (and significantly less surprised to see Joseph). "It's whenever Saix just isn't happy."

"And Saix is never happy," Joseph added.

"Saix is a Nobody," 23 said, rolling his eyes at the boys. "He can't _feel_ anything."

"And?" Toby asked.

23 didn't reply.

Joseph considered 23 with a sad expression. "So… you've really betrayed us, then?"

"I don't see why it matters to-"

A dark corridor opening interrupted him. 23 stared at the dark corridor, glaring slightly, but determined. It was only a Larxene Replica who stepped out. She took one look at 23, made a face and then muttered something very foul under her breath.

"Are you my backup?" 23 asked. Obviously, he had not heard what the Larxene Replica had just called him.

She stared for a moment. "Uhm… sure…" she said, slowly. She turned to 2, making eye contact with him for a moment. She nodded over at 23 and then rolled her eyes, a "can you believe him?" gesture.

2 shrugged slightly; just enough for her to notice.

'I am _so_ not his backup,' she mouthed. 'I came here for a completely different reason, trust me.'

2 nodded, showing he understood. He wasn't quite sure why she was here, but not being with 23 was a plus. Besides, not _all_ Larxene Replicas were bad. And, if he remembered correctly (and there was a likely chance he did), this Larxene Replica was one of the more reasonable ones.

Larxene Replica Q – easily recognizable because she was the only Larxene Replica whose eyes were a startling blue instead of one of the typical shades of green.

2 frowned, though.

Last he had checked, she and L were close friends. Just because she was reasonable and not with 23 did _not_ mean she could be trusted. In fact, it was even less reason to trust her – 23 was probably just the distraction from whatever she had been sent here to do.


	127. Friends

Chapter commentary for this on the new blog. As usual. Sorry for moving to a new blog on you guys, but there's really no point in posterous if I get your comments about 40% of the time. Blogspot allows comments, AND I can manage spam, so I doubt we'll run into the "you're comment is too long automatic spam!" problem. You don't need an account. Just leave the name you review under here and your comment.

Second of all, I'm not going to interrogate Maleficent or Xemnas. It's not worth my time. Further details on the blog.

Last of all, sorry that the cut between these two chapters is so awkward. There really wasn't any other logical place to cut it - all the good cuts put the word count too far on one end of the split. If you understood that. It might not have made sense. It's nearly 2 in the morning.

* * *

><p>"Alpha said he wasn't surprised."<p>

Snapdragon had returned. 2 stared for a second, a bit confused. He had been too busy with his thoughts to catch on to what Snapdragon was talking about right away, but then he remembered that he had sent Snapdragon to tell Alpha about 23's betrayal. That, of course, explained Snapdragon's comment.

"So things are taken care of, then?" he asked.

Snapdragon nodded. "Have you figured out what 23 is up to?"

2 shook his head. "He hasn't done anything but argue with 19 since you left."

They both turned their attention to 23 and 19, who were arguing about – of all things – Namine. 2 wished he had been paying attention to the conversation so that the understood just how they had gotten to that particular subject. He scanned through his memory to see if he had heard any fragments of the conversation and remembered them, but sadly, all he could remember was debating about whether or not he could trust Q.

His ability to remember everything was apparently limited to things that he had been focusing on and did not include the minor things that were going on around him.

He'd have to keep that in mind.

Not that he'd forget, of course.

But he'd have to try harder on focusing on the important things.

Such as this conversation…

"Well, considering the fact that he hasn't dropped it yet, I'm assuming the answer is yes," Joseph was saying.

2 frowned. Just who was he saying that about? Given the context of the situation, he had a feeling it was 23 – but what was it that 23 wasn't dropping? And the answer to _what_ was yes?

"Though, I have to say, I think it's kind of ridiculous that you two are arguing over the contents of a binder," Joseph added. "Seems like a stupid reason to betray us, too, 23."

Ah.

That would explain it.

"It wasn't the _only_ reason I betrayed!" 23 said, and he sounded a bit annoyed.

"Well, it's obviously the only reason that _really _matters to you."

"I'm just upset about the fact that he didn't bother to tell me, when all it was, was a bunch of stupid-"

He was silenced by a quick shake of 19's head.

23 glared. "What? Don't want anyone else knowing about this?"

"He trusted me," 19 whispered. 2 noticed that he wasn't making eye contact with 23 – or anyone for that matter. "He trusted me to keep this secret. Breaking his trust to tell you – my brother – is one thing. But I can't-"

"Who's trust!?" 23 demanded. "Obviously, they mean more to you than I do!"

"23, I did not say that!" 19 replied, angrily, though he sounded close to tears. "I broke his trust to tell you, it's just—breaking it any more…"

"Who are we talking about?" Joseph asked, though he was not answered.

"You certainly had no qualms about breaking the trust that we shared!" 23 shouted.

19 shook his head, sadly. "No, 23," he said, voice choked. "_You_ were the one who broke that trust. _You_ were the one who betrayed me."

"Are you-"

"That's enough!" Snapdragon had summoned his scythe and now had it aimed at 23's throat. 23 was eyeing it warily. "Betraying us is one thing; but taking the extra time to rub it in 19's face?" He shook his head in disgust.

"19, are you alright?" 2 asked.

19 didn't really look alright, but that didn't keep him from saying he was anyway. 2 sighed.

"Maybe it would be best if you let us handle this," he continued.

"I… I suppose so…" 19 said. He stared at 23 for a moment longer, and then slowly turned and started off. "Just… don't harm him, okay?"

"As long as he doesn't make it necessary, I'll be glad to do that," Snapdragon assured 19.

23 looked slightly scared now. He glanced over in Q's direction. "Hello? Backup!"

"Nah. I think I'd rather just sit here and watch your plans fail!" Q replied.

2 turned his attention over to her – she was now sitting in Vexen's vacant seat, and looked like she didn't plan on moving any time soon. There was a glint in her eye, though, one that could almost be defined as evil; 2 didn't like it.

"Which, by the way, 23, what _is_ the plan, exactly?"

23 stared. "You don't know!?"

Q made a face. "No… I wasn't briefed before I was sent here. However…" Her eyes lit up. "I _do_ think I remember hearing L mentioning something about you stalling… and then when Riku and Namine get back from wherever they are, there'd be an ambush… Oh, whoops." She giggled, and then grinned.

Obviously, she felt no remorse about revealing the plan like she just did.

"What are you _doing?!_"23 hissed.

"Wasn't it obvious?" Q asked. She raised her voice and continued: "I was letting everyone know that there's going to be an ambush when Riku and Namine get back." She turned to Joseph. "Do you think I was loud enough? Or should I repeat myself?"

Joseph turned to 2. "Should we trust her?"

2 shrugged. He really wasn't entirely sure. It didn't seem like this was a set up… but how was he really supposed to know?

"I think we should," Toby whispered. "At least for now. She seems helpful."

"Are you insane!?" 23 said, eyes firmly fixed on Q. "When Saix finds out-"

"It'll be too late, because I'll already have told someone here the information I came to tell them," Q finished. "So unless someone kills me _now_…"

"I'll kill you now…" 23 said.

Q raised an eyebrow at him. "You have scythe at your throat. How, exactly, do you plan to kill me?"

He glared.

"Hey, maybe you should go ahead and call that ambush off, especially now that-" Q raised her voice again "-everyone here knows that there's going to be an ambush."

"Not a chance!"

Snapdragon gave 23 a thoughtful look. "I suppose I could always just kill him; that would solve the problem, wouldn't it?"

2 considered it and then shook his head. "Even if we get rid of him, there's only a fifty percent chance that they'd actually call of the ambush. Besides, 19 didn't want to hurt him if it wasn't necessary."

"Wouldn't killing him to prevent an ambush be reason enough?"

"This is 19 we're talking about."

Q shook her head. "You Vexen Replicas are such idiots sometimes," she said. "You're worrying about the probability of killing someone being helpful, when you can solve this problem with just a bit of logic." She straightened in her chair, craning her neck as she looked the room over. "Let's see… I see one... two, three… four… hmm… ten people in this room who look like they're good fighters, and there's about… twenty people in this room total – all of whom will put up some resistance to the ambush. There's… how many people involved in the ambush, 23? Five?"

"Seven," 23 replied, turning up his nose slightly.

"Ooh, _seven_, I'm quaking in my boots!" Q rolled her eyes. "I doubt seven people can do much when they lack the element of surprise."

"Riku and Namine don't know there's going to be an ambush," 23 said plainly.

"I'll go warn them!" Joseph declared.

A dark corridor opened somewhere around the center of the main room.

It was too late.

"I'm _fine_, Namine!" they could hear Riku say.

"I still don't believe you," was Namine's reply.

2 craned his neck to get a better look at the two of them – well, Riku, actually. Riku being injured wouldn't help matters at all; he wouldn't be able to fight.

From the looks of things, though, he appeared to be alright. Maybe, possibly, a bit more tired than usual, but it really was hard to tell from this distance.

Just then, seven dark corridors opened.

Immediately after, about two dozen Berserkers appeared.

Q made a face. "I forgot about the Berserkers…"

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" Riku screamed.

2 turned and shoved and icicle through the Berserker closest to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Snapdragon turn from 23 and start attacking a Berserker. Joseph and Toby were both against one Berserker; Joseph wasn't doing anything more than distract it, but Toby's signature blast of fire and lightning seemed to do plenty damage.

Q had gotten to her feet and was ignoring the Berserkers (they were ignoring her, too). She scanned the room, frowning slightly. "You don't see L here, do you?" she asked after a moment.

2 took a quick glance over the area; the Berserker he was fighting prevented him from doing anymore. "No…" he replied slowly. "She doesn't appear to be here."

Q appeared to grin slightly. "Good." She summoned lightning to her fingertips. "That means I can do _this_!" She took careful aim and chucked the lightning in 37's direction.

"Ow!"

If Q wasn't grinning before, she was certainly grinning now.

"Been wanting to do that for a while…"

"What was _that!?_" 37 yelled.

"Best-friend stealer!" Q called. "If it wasn't for you…"

Surprised, 2 turned around. That was a tone he had never heard a Larxene Replica use before – it was almost… sadness. Things were clicking together in his head. Of course, Q and L had been friends last he had checked, but last he had checked was long before the Rebellion started and _long_ before L and 37…

"Of course, I shouldn't blame him," Q whispered. "It's L's fault. She was the one who—but… I still can't believe she did it. I can't believe he returned the feelings, either. It seems like… there's so many things wrong with this and I'm the only one who notices. But I can't… do anything about it!" Her voice had risen to a shout by now. "I can't do anything about it and- and I'm ranting. And…" she glanced over the few people who were paying her any attention. "And you're all men, and don't care."

"Uhm-" 2 began.

"I'd love to care," Snapdragon interrupted. "But I kind of have three Berserkers after me."

Q rolled her eyes and sent a large lightning bolt at one of the Berserkers, finishing it off. Snapdragon managed to get rid of the second. The third was slayed by another scythe.

"Why is there always a raid when I'm trying to take a nap?" Amaryllis groaned. "Though, more importantly, why do I hear a Larxene Replica and yet no-" He paused, the expression on his face quickly going from annoyance to shock. "Q!?"

Q turned to him, and her jaw dropped. "Amaryllis!?"

"What- what are you doing here?" Amaryllis asked.

"What am I doing here? What are _you_ doing here!? I thought you died!"

"Well… I…" Amaryllis made a face and shrugged.

"I-I thought Saix had _killed_ you!" Q said. "The last I saw you was right before all the chaos broke out, and then- so many people died… I assumed…" She trailed off, and then grinned. "Well, what does that matter? The point is, it's good to see you!"

"It's good to see you, too, but-"

"I mean, Amaryllis, you don't understand how- hmm?" She stopped, catching the look on Amaryllis's face. He nodded over in Riku's direction, then put a finger to his lips. Q frowned, a bit confused, but then glanced over her shoulder to see what he was indicating. Her eyes widened in understanding. "Oh! Shh." She put a finger to her lips, mimicking Amaryllis. "Shh." Then she smiled.

Amaryllis chuckled.

"Hey, hate to interrupt your reunion," Joseph said. "But, uhm, anyone else notice that 23's gone?"

"When did he slip off?" Q asked, frowning. "He was right here. One of us would've noticed him slip off!"

"I was a bit busy fighting the Berserkers," Snapdragon said.

"As was I…" 2 admitted slowly. He grimaced. "We should've had someone keep any eye on him."

"Where do you think he-"

Riku suddenly screamed in rage, and a wave of darkness surged through the room. It finished off what was left of the Berserkers, and it made every Replica stagger slightly. 2 quickly shook his head, not liking the feeling that had accompanied the darkness.

"What… what was that!?" Q demanded.

"Was that Riku!?" Joseph asked.

2 turned to Riku – he seemed to be the only one not affected (minus Namine). 2 frowned. He couldn't remember Riku having the ability to do anything of this sort…

"I… don't know…"


	128. Habit

My profoundest apologies for this chapter's lateness. I've been putting off posting it until I had the sequence done, but this sequence is being a PAIN to finish.

Another note, I might be going on hiatus. Not any time soon, and not for very long. I'd wait til this sequence was finished to do so (Riku'd kill me if I didn't), and it will be, at most, only a few weeks. I want to take some time off to plot stuff for the fic (and play Days, but that's not the only reason for the hiatus). Someone told me the best thing you could do for your story was take a break from it, so I think I'm going to give it a shot (especially considering all that comes after this sequence isn't plotted thoroughly and needs to be if I hope for it to be done right)

**Update Feb 2014: **There is an ASAS chapter that goes with this chapter! It's ch33 and titled "Habit Addendum". Yay.

* * *

><p>"Riku!" Namine gasped.<p>

Riku ignored her. He clutched himself tightly, doubling over from the pain. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the clouds of darkness. They seemed intent on staying there, though. He shook his head again, harder, which didn't do anything more than make his head hurt.

He was sick of this.

Would it be too much to ask to just _not_ have his or Namine's life in danger for once?

He screamed again, and another wave of darkness lashed out – though it was much tamer than the last. Even so, the Replicas closet to him still staggered.

"Riku, calm down," Namine said.

"Calm?" He laughed, bitterly, his eyes narrowing in anger. "_Calm, _hmm? I'm a bit _tired_ of all this _fighting!_ I mean, would it _kill_ you-" he looked up at 37, who he assumed was in charge of all this "-to just _leave me alone!?_"

He could feel the darkness lashing out with his every shout, but he really didn't care.

37 was regarding him with an expression that was between shock and… fear? No, it couldn't be fear. But it was definitely… uneasy.

"What are you suggesting we do, leave?" 37 spat.

"You want to stay here?" Riku replied, letting another wave of darkness lash out.

37 flinched slightly.

"Technically, sir," a Lexaeus Replica said. "They were warned about the ambush. This isn't necessarily our fault. Maybe it _would_ be best to-"

Riku threw a blast of darkness at the Lexaeus Replica, cutting the sentence short. The Lexaeus Replica staggered back, clutching his chest. Riku smirked slightly and sent a larger blast of darkness at him.

"Riku!" Namine gasped, horrified.

Riku took the darkness and twisted. The Lexaeus Replica cried out in pain, and then faded.

"Need any more incentive to leave?" Riku asked, turning to 37.

About half of the others involved with the ambush opened dark corridors and left. 37 stayed put. Riku glared and summoned more darkness to his fingertips. 37 eyed it warily, but still did nothing.

Riku threw the darkness at him. The darkness seemed to grow as it neared 37, becoming not only larger but also nastier and deadly looking. 37 quickly opened a dark corridor before it could hit him. Riku's eyes went wide with anger, and he quickly reached out and somehow caught the darkness as if by an invisible force. With a flick of his hand, it dissipated, leaving the air corrupted behind it.

"What was that…?" Namine said, slowly, and she sounded slightly worried.

Riku threw a glance at her – a cocky sort of what's-your-problem? look. "Darkness," he explained, simply. She continued to regard him with that curious and worried expression. It bothered him. He suddenly felt guilty. He quickly turned away.

"Darkness is my weapon," he said. It felt too much like he was justifying himself. "I should use it – I was programmed to, after all."

"But you didn't have to-" she began. She paused, then sighed. "Why didn't you attack 37, first? If… if you were going to make a point of what you could do, why not make him the example?"

"I was aiming for him," Riku said, casually. "I missed." His eyes were firmly fixed on something – some_one_ – who shouldn't still be here. He made his way over to her, jumping over the couch that was in his way rather than go around it. His eyes were narrowed with determination and anger.

"I thought-" His voice was firm now, _daring_ her to argue with him. "-that I told you all to _leave._"

"Well, I-" The Larxene Replica looked a bit nervous. "I'm… here to help you." She wouldn't quite look him in the eye, and she kept turning away from him. She almost looked like she was regretting something.

These were mannerisms that he wasn't used to seeing on a Larxene…

His eyes narrowed even further.

The Larxene took a deep breath, summoning her resolve, and then looked directly at him, making eye contact this time.

"I'm Q," she said, calmly. "And I-"

"What makes you think I'd want _your_ help?" Riku interrupted, rather plainly.

"That was _rude!_" Amaryllis protested.

Riku ignored him.

The Larxene – Q – bit her lip.

She was silent for a long while. Finally: "Listen, I understand why you're hesitant to trust me. I get it. But would you just… hear me out?"

Riku rolled his eyes.

"Riku, c'mon," Namine said, quietly, grabbing his hand. "Just listen to what she has to say. What harm's it going to do? We can throw her out when she's done."

"I suppose I should be offended, but it wasn't like I planned on staying here…" Q muttered. She sighed. "Is that a yes then? You'll listen?"

Riku stared a second: was she _asking_ for _his_ permission? He tried not to think about how weird that was. "Alright, fine. Make it quick," he told her, pulling up a chair.

Q sighed. "Let's see…" she said, mainly to herself. "I've already warned you about the ambush – not that it went well, since I got here late. Uhm… they're planning to focus on kidnapping Namine instead of-"

"We know," Riku interrupted. He yawned. "Gee, lousy information, horrible timing-" he turned to 2. "We sure this isn't just a trap?"

"She seems trustworthy," he said. "And if it's any consolation, she hates 37."

"I do not!" Q argued. "I mean, I'm not entirely fond of him, and I think he's completely weird, but it's L that I have issues with."

Riku raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

Q burst out laughing. "You think _anyone_ on our side actually _likes_ her? She's been a pain in all of our butts since she and 37 got together! I can't name a single Replica – especially not out of the Larxenes – who doesn't hate her in some way, shape, or form. She gets all these stupid privileges just because of 37 – uck! She makes me _sick!_"

She was practically yelling at this point, and Riku relaxed a little. This was Larxene behavior he was used to dealing with.

Toby quietly crept over to stand next to Q, glancing up nervously at her as he did so. It took Q a moment to notice him. She paused, mid-rant, and then stared at him for a bit before asking:

"What are you doing?"

"Safety precaution," he said, quietly. "Just in case your lightning gets out of control or something." He laughed, nervously. "We wouldn't want any stray lightning, would we?"

She continued to stare, confused.

Toby shrugged.

"His idea," he explained nodding in Joseph's direction.

Joseph waved.

Q stared a moment more, then rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Just how are _you_ going to keep _my_ lightning under control?"

"Simple. You just pass everything to me." He said this like it were the most obvious thing in the Worlds.

"And you'll be able to hold onto it?"

"Should be able to. It's not usually lightning I have trouble with."

Riku raised his eyebrows about all this. Apparently, Joseph had told Toby to do this to avoid any stray lightning. So, obviously, Joseph was worried that the lightning would be an issue.

_Good. Now we don't have to worry about it, _a voice in the back of Riku's head said, but Riku shushed it. Q had gone back to her rant, finding the issue with Toby settled, and the rant was actually beginning to sound important.

"I doubt she even actually _cares_ about him! She's probably just pretending for the power it grants her! She makes me so _sick!_"

A small bolt of lightning lashed out, which Toby quickly caught and absorbed into himself.

"Sorry," Q said.

"No worries," Toby assured her.

"So… L only got together with 37 so that she could, through him, manipulate the Program?" 2 asked.

"Yup," Q replied. "Or at least, I assume so, anyway."

"How do you know?" Riku asked. This still, sort of, smelled like a trap to him. It was almost all too convenient. Then again… he wouldn't put it past L (or any Larxene, for that matter) to do something like that.

Still…

"Remember G?" Q asked.

"Not anything about her that I assume is relevant for the conversation, no," 2 said.

Namine shook her head.

"Nope," Riku said, glaring. What did this have to do with anything?

"You killed her," Q said – it was directed at Riku.

"Yeah. Doesn't mean I remember her in particular."

"Shoved a blade through her gut."

"Doesn't help."

"She was the one that first decided that it would be a good idea to go after Namine instead of the Program," Q explained.

"Ah! That helps!"

Q was silent for a moment. "See…" she said, finally, slowly. "Me, G, and L used to be friends, a while back. G told us about her idea – kidnapping Namine – and then complained that none of the good ideas were ever used. Mind you, she thought good ideas only came from Larxene Replicas, for the most part, and it's no wonder the ideas aren't used. I mean, no one really listens to the Larxene Replicas. No one trusts us."

"With good reason," Riku said, coldly.

Q glared, but bit her lip.

Clearly, this meant enough to her that she'd avoid acknowledging that she was being insulted.

All the more reason to believe it was a trap.

"Anyway, L joked that if we wanted our ideas to be used, we should make someone in charge – well, 37, since he's the only person in charge besides Saix – fall madly in love with one of us so that he'd do whatever we told him to."

Silence.

"That's…" Joseph began, but couldn't find the words.

"Low and cruel and _sick, _even for a Larxene!" Namine said, then quickly added: "No offense!"

Q shook her head, dismissing it. "None taken. It's one thing to joke about that stuff, but to actually go _through_ with it." She shuddered. "I still can't believe L did it."

"So… you're _sure_ that L does not actually care about 37?" 2 asked.

"No," Q admitted, begrudgingly. "I confronted her about it, and she didn't confirm any love for him, but…" She grimaced. "She didn't deny any love for him, either. And we may not be friends any more, but L _still_ can't lie to me."

"So you… don't know," Amaryllis said.

"No."

"What are you suggesting with all this?" Joseph asked. "We tell 37 that his girlfriend doesn't care about him and hope he's too heartbroken to bother us anymore?"

"It wouldn't work," Riku interrupted. Everyone turned to him. He swallowed, regretting saying anything. He couldn't back out, though. "He loves her too much. I- I've seen the look he gets, around her. And he- he loves her. Anything short of L breaking his heart herself won't make a difference, and there's a possibility that even _that_ won't do anything." He swallowed again, trying to get rid of the tightness in his throat. "He'd still love her. And blinded by his love and guided by his hurt-" He shuddered, unable to go on. "We don't want to face the man he might become."

There was a part in the back of his heart yammering to be released. Riku shoved it aside, angrily. He'd abandoned _that_ part of him long ago.

He took a deep breath, and then said, trying to laugh the matter off: "Besides, it's our word against hers. Who's he going to believe?"

Namine was giving him an odd look, but he did his best to ignore her. Joseph was giving him an odd look, too, but it was certainly less worried than Namine's look was. Toby wasn't looking at him. He couldn't read the look on 2's face, and Amaryllis was too far away for him to care about. Q seemed to be ignoring him; considering what he had just said.

"You're right," Q said. "When it really comes down to it, it's not going to be 37 that's the problem. It'll be L. 37 doesn't care about Namine. He's only trying to kidnap her because L thinks Rewriting her is a good idea."

"And what do you think?" Riku asked.

"About what?" Q replied. "Rewriting Namine? I think it'd work – not that I _like_ the idea, or anything, but… I think it'd work. _Especially _considering some of the things that L's discussed…"

"Like what?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"I'd prefer if you didn't," Namine whispered. "I have enough nightmares about being Rewritten already…"

Riku turned to her. She caught his eye, then shook her head, to assure him that it was nothing. He didn't believe it, but he didn't think now was the time to be arguing the matter. He wasn't going to let his guard down with a Larxene in the room.

_I don't like this,_ he thought.

Q had continued ranting again – wait, she and 2 and Amaryllis were discussing something. Riku didn't really care what, though.

_This has got to be a trap, or something._

_ Larxene doesn't give away this much information unless there's something to gain from it. And it's just too _convenient. _I mean, a Larxene shows up – who was friends with L – and claims that L doesn't actually care about 37._

_ That's just…_

_ That can't be right._

_ There is something wrong here._

_ First, she claims to come to warn us about the ambush, which if I recall correctly _I_ had to get rid of. Then the only information she gives us to gain our trust is something we already knew. Since that, she's done nothing but talk about L, and how are we supposed to know that what she says is true?_

_ We aren't._

_ This is probably some stupid trick she and L cooked up…_

"It's a trap," he said, interrupting whatever they were talking about.

They all turned to him.

"What?" Q asked, sounding confused and a bit angry.

"It's a trap, and I am not falling for it," Riku repeated, firmly.

"It is not a trap!"

Toby scrambled to catch the lightning that accompanied this shout. It wasn't a lot of lightning, but enough to tell Riku that Q was upset. Probably just because he had caught on to what she was doing.

"Riku," Namine said, calmly. "How is this a trap?"

Riku glanced around. Everyone was regarding him with expressions that implied they were thinking along those lines. "Have none of you noticed just how _convenient_ this all is?" he demanded. "A Larxene Replica who just so happens to be friends with L shows up and gives us all this vital information that, supposedly, is going to help us."

They all considered this.

"He has a point," Joseph said, looking at Q. "It _is_ a bit convenient."

Q sighed. "Look, I know what it looks like. But I swear, this isn't a trick!"

"And why should we trust you?" Riku asked, glaring.

"Why shouldn't we?" Namine asked.

"She's a Larxene, and that's reason enough!" Riku replied, voice rising slightly. How could they all be so stupid to think this was a good idea?

"Not all Larxenes are unreasonable, though," Amaryllis said.

Riku scoffed. "Yeah. And the moment you start believing _that_ is the moment one of them trips you from behind and you get hurt."

No one argued that.

Amaryllis looked like he might've wanted to, though.

Riku frowned at this, but his attention was quickly drawn back to Q.

"Riku, listen," she said, and she was surprisingly calm as she did so. He tensed. He had never known Larxene to be calm, and decided very quickly that he did not like it. "I get it. I understand perfectly why you don't want to trust me, and that's fine, but if you'd just listen for a second-"

In fact, he _hated_ it. Why wouldn't she scream or laugh or do something he was _used_ to Larxene doing?

"I think I've done enough listening to you!" he shouted.

He shouldn't have been shouting; it'd only make matters worse. But this calm understanding she was giving him made him want to do _anything_ to get her to just shout back.

"I bet L sent you here," he added.

_That_ did it.

"L? Are you _serious!? _You obviously weren't listening to what I said five seconds ago – I suggested _killing_ her!"

Q at least seemed frustrated and quite annoyed now, though it looked like she was trying to contain it.

That thought was so absurd that Riku suddenly wanted to see how much it would take to actually make her pissed.

"No, five seconds ago, I was yelling at you," he said.

She stared at him in disbelief. "You know what I meant!"

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I don't want any part of your stupid revenge."

"I never said I wanted revenge!"

"Hah! So you are working with L!"

"What!?" Q screamed, and Toby had to catch another bolt of lightning. "No, you _idiot!_ If we get rid of L, 37'd be too busy moping to do anything! I mean, _you_ couldn't kill her, because then he'd want revenge, but if we figure out a way to make Saix do it-"

"I don't care!" Riku shouted back. "This is all just a trick, anyway!"

"It is not a trick!"

Q was practically bristling with electricity now, and Riku faltered. Maybe he should stop antagonizing her…

_Relax,_ he told himself. _Toby's got the lightning under control._

And, sure enough, Toby was pulling all the lightning into himself with ease. He had no trouble catching the stray lightning bolts – though they were few and very large – that tried to get away. He seemed completely cool about it, too.

"It's no wonder you can't get along with anyone!" Q laughed, bitterly. "You refuse to _listen_ to anyone, and what little you _do_ listen to you just warp so it means what it want it to!"

"That's not true," Riku argued.

"Of course not!" The sarcasm was obvious. "Then tell me just _how_ exactly, this is a trap?"

"I'm wondering that, too," 2 said. "She has not said anything that would imply that this is a trap. Yes, I see how this entire situation as whole might lead you to believe that, but I do not think that Q is entirely untrustworthy."

"Thanks," Q said. Then she frowned. "What do you mean, _entirely?_"

Under normal circumstances, this probably would not have been enough cause for anger to produce any amount of lightning, but Q was only calming herself down, and one small lightning bolt slipped out. Toby caught it, no problem, but that one lightning bolt was just enough to be _too_ much. Unable to hold the all the lightning he had pulled into him, Toby had no choice but to let some of it go.

Unfortunately for him, the lightning he released headed in the direction of – who else? – Riku.

The lightning knocked Riku out of his chair and onto the ground. He gritted his teeth and did his best not to scream, though it was hard. The pain was too much, and it blurred everything. His thoughts, his senses (though he seemed to be feeling _pain_ just fine), even his memory was blurred. The walls he had built to separate himself from his past were quickly crumbling, and he had to keep reminding himself that he was alright; that this was _now_ and not _then,_ and that as soon as the pain stopped—

"_No!_" _he screamed. "Please no!"_

_ "You know the consequences of stepping out of line," Larxene sneered, charging up another lightning bolt—_

Riku doubted another lightning bolt actually hit him, but the pain of the memory was enough.

_I won't scream,_ he told himself, biting his tongue as the pain reached unbearable.

_I- I won't-_

_ But if I scream… it'll all be over…_

_ No! This isn't then! This isn't—_

A scream managed to escape his lips, anyway, and he curled himself into a ball, as if being smaller would lessen the pain. Surprisingly, it almost seemed to, but that was just the lightning running it's course and leaving his body. The pain began to ebb away…

But he was still sore, and he could feel the bitter tears on his cheeks.

_I hate her…_

"I hate you!" The words left his lips as a scream. Typical. But where was the laughing? She should be laughing. He pushed himself up, trying to figure out what was wrong – something definitely was – screaming as he did so. "I hate you so much! Why do you-"

The real world came into focus around him, and he froze.

"Why…" He swallowed.

He found not Larxene looking down at him, laughing.

But a handful of worried faces looking at him, and – worst of all – Toby looking absolutely horrified.

Riku stared.

His own breath was quick and raspy, mainly in shock, but—

"I- I'm sorry," he stuttered.

Everyone was staring at him.

He could feel it.

He could also feel himself shaking – ready to break any second – and there were tears stinging his cheeks.

He was being weak.

He knew that.

But…

How could he be anything else?

He slowly pushed himself to his feet, trying to contain his shakes, at least for a minute.

He couldn't look at anyone.

He couldn't—

"Habit…" he muttered.

And he ran.


	129. New Pains and Old Nightmares

For starters, I bothered to upload my redesign of Riku's dark mode: there's a link on my profile, somewhere on the list of links (towards the bottom) or you can find a post about it on my blog. It'll be the most recent post, I don't plan on doing a post on this chapter quite yet. I'm going to wait to see what you guys say about all this first...

Second of all, this chapter is VERY LONG - like about the length of two chapters (or a chapter and a half, given how long my chapters are tending to be nowadays)  
>Btw, you guys don't mind the chapter length getting longer, do you?<p>

* * *

><p>He didn't tell his feet where to go. His feet just took him there. He was too busy scolding himself to even notice. It was lucky there was no one else wandering the halls at the time, or he might've run into them.<p>

_Stupid!_ Riku thought. _You can be such an _idiot_ at times!_

He continued to run, feet weaving through corridor after corridor without second thought. Tears were stinging in his eyes. He hardly noticed them.

_What is wrong with you!?_

It was not just his own voice asking, but the voice of countless others, too.

The memories he had buried, pounding away at his head as they resurfaced. Old pains, old nightmares, coming back to him, haunting him as he ran. And the _voices_—

_You just screwed up again!_

_ Can't you do _anything_ right?_

He couldn't answer that. He couldn't face that truth. So he ran. He ran, and he played the voices in his head back to himself, like a broken record. The old pains, at least, he could handle. The new pains—

He squeezed his eyes shut, stumbling as he ran, but he didn't stop.

The darkness, however, did not blot out the image of that terror in Toby's eyes. Terror that _he_ caused, terror that was _his_ fault. Because _he_ screwed up, because _he_ couldn't control himself.

_Did you really expect to be able to, though? _a part of him asked. _Isn't this why you kill every Larxene Replica you meet? Isn't this why you were hesitant about Toby in the first place?_

He knew the answer to all of those questions was simply "lightning" and all the emotions and memories and pains that he had attached to it. Just the thought of it made him cringe at times – it was a wonder he could keep himself from breaking when fighting a Larxene Replica.

_Larxene…_

Her laugh still rang in his ears.

_"Maybe THIS will teach you a lesson!"_

_ "Ah, wait- there is still the matter of punishment-"_

_ "Aw, does it hurt?"_

Always laughing. He hardly ever saw her angry, though the few times he did were possibly the most painful memories. Possibly. He wasn't sure. The pain blurred everything. The pain—

His eyes flew open as he staggered to a halt. He stared at the sight that he was presented with in shock.

This was the corner – his corner – the corner that he'd so often retreat to, back in the other universe, when he needed to be alone. Well, when he needed to cry, usually, as he couldn't do _that_ anywhere near the Organization. This was the place he'd come to after a fight with Sora, wounded and bloody, to regain his strength. This was the place he'd crawl to, broken and angry, after the cruelest of Larxene's beatings. This was where he'd sit and wait until the pain was gone. This was where he'd bang his fists against the walls and demand to know why the worlds were so cruel to him.

Of course, things had gotten better.

Things had gotten better.

But he didn't feel any different.

He slowly sat down, back against the wall, and drew his knees to his chest, hugging them tight. After a moment he flickered in dark mode; the old familiarity, that extra layer between him and the rest of the world. Not that it made the pain hurt any less…

The pain…

He shuddered all over.

_It's been ages. Ages since I've faced this much lightning. Ages since I've been anywhere near her—_

Was that even true?

Even if it _had_ been ages since he'd seen Larxene, there were still 26 – well, less than that, now – Replicas of her walking around, each serving as a constant reminder. Even if it _had_ been ages since he'd experienced the torture, lightning had not completely left his life. The Larxene Replicas all had control over it, and most everyone at Hollow Bastion knew some basic form of Thunder magic. Not that there'd ever been any stray Thunder magic that had hit him, but… even just the _sound_ brought memories back.

Memories that, usually, he'd be able to tame and contain in the back of his mind where they could not hurt him.

He hugged his knees tighter.

But that was not the case, this time, and it was his fault. He had willingly torn down the walls that separated him from those memories. Because the pain of the memories was much easier on his conscience than—

No.

He would not allow himself to think about the look on Toby's face.

_What's your problem? _a part of Riku scolded. _You've never had any trouble taking the blame before._

_ It was different then,_ he replied, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the tears resurface.

And, in a way, it was. The Organization always told him that things were his fault – it seemed to be a personal hobby of Larxene's, probably as she tried to find more excuses to torture him – but he knew better than that. He did things they didn't like, and then he got punished; it was just the natural order of things – not his fault.

He was only doing what he thought best for Namine. She didn't deserve to be constantly under their watch – that's why they snuck out, hid in the most random parts of the castle. It never lasted long. Someone, usually Larxene, would come looking for them. They'd be found – not that it mattered. The consequences never mattered. All that mattered was Namine's safety, her happiness. He was willing to take the blame – any blame – for that sake.

_So what's different now?_

_ I haven't changed a bit… and it bothers me…_

_ I'm still the broken, terrified Replica who Larxene would throw across the room. I'm still scared to death of her. It's like nothing's changed. It's like I might as well be sitting in my _actual_ corner, hiding from her. Like someone will come looking for me, any minute now, to see why I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing._

It wasn't hard to paint the picture in his head. The fears and memories and feelings were as clear in his mind as if they had happened yesterday.

_Or maybe they won't come looking for me. Yeah. I came here after taking a beating from Larxene – she wasn't very happy with me. But whatever. That means she won't come looking for me. Maybe when the pain fades I'll go see Namine. I'd go now, but I'm not sure if I can trust my nerves to be calm._

He let out a long breath.

It was easy to occupy himself – distract himself, really – by imagining what this would be like if he was in the other universe. It got his mind off of the pain of the present, and the guilt—

_Guilt._

He tried to ignore the word.

He tried to push back the images that were flooding his mind.

_Namine._

Thoughts of her were usually happier, especially when compared to thoughts of Larxene. But that guilt—that guilt in her eyes. Every time she looked at him. Guilt. Always guilt. Guilt that he didn't understand, guilt that drove him nuts, guilt that—

"Riku?"

His eyes flew open.

Namine.

Gut wrenching terror surged through him.

She couldn't see him like this!

He was crying; he was _weak._

She couldn't know he was weak.

How was she supposed to trust him to protect her if she knew he was so weak?

He couldn't be weak.

He had to be strong.

He had to stop crying.

He couldn't—

"Riku? Are you okay?"

Run.

He had to run.

Where?

No.

How?

He couldn't run on his feet. He was in a corner. She would catch him before he got anywhere.

Dark corridor.

He could use a dark corridor.

He couldn't let her catch him.

He threw a dark corridor open next to him and tried to scramble through, but it was too late. She saw him. She was calling his name, asking what he was doing, running towards him. He could hear her footsteps echoing around him.

_Idiot! You should've just opened a dark corridor around yourself!_

But part of him _wanted_ to be caught…

The dark corridor fizzled shut in front of him.

Couldn't run.

Had to face her.

Had to be strong.

_Drop dark mode!_ His brain ordered. _Dark mode will tell her something's wrong._

But could he do it?

Abandon what was like a second skin to him? The only thing that comforted him when he was weak? The only thing that protected him from the cruel world around him?

And separated him from Namine…

But could he drop it?

Could he face the world unarmored, vulnerable?

No.

But he didn't want to face the world.

He didn't even want to face Namine.

It was too late, though. She had reached him now. She grabbed him by the shoulders. Her touch was gentle, kind; something he wished he could surrender himself to. But he couldn't. The moment he let his guard down he would start crying again.

He couldn't—

He couldn't do this.

He wasn't strong enough to face her.

He pulled himself away from her grasp and distanced himself from her.

"Get away from me!" he said, his voice cracking. "_Please._" He even _sounded_ weak.

"Riku-"

Her voice was as kind as her touch.

He squeezed his eyes shut and turned his back to her. He couldn't surrender. He couldn't let his guard down.

"Riku…"

She sounded shocked; hurt, even.

He hated it.

"I-" But he didn't know what to say. He could hear her – _feel_ her – shifting behind him. There was her touch again, but this time she was taking his face in her hands, gentle still, turning him towards her.

"Riku, look at me."

He kept his eyes firmly shut.

He couldn't look at her.

If he kept his eyes shut he could pretend that this was real. That she meant what she was doing. Even though he knew she was faking, just trying to do what he would do for her. For his sake, or because the Organization told her to, never because she actually cared. And when he opened his eyes, he would see that overwhelming guilt on her face. Guilt that he still did not have an answer for. Guilt that he _hated._

He should break away from her. Run. There was no need to put himself through this torture.

He was about to pull himself away when Namine reached up, wiping what tears that were left in his eyes with her thumbs.

His eyes flew open in shock.

_She_ never—

Wait a minute.

There was no guilt on Namine's face.

Not even a trace.

Instead, there was concern – genuine concern.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

She was worried about him.

_Actually_ worried about him.

The world finished snapping back into place around him. The picture that he had painted for himself faded. The lies he had himself believing – just for a second – shattered. Everything around him stopped being _then_ rather abruptly, and started being _now._ And, somehow, the pain of _now_ couldn't touch him, and the nightmares of _then_ had even less luck.

"Namine…" He was so shocked that he couldn't come up with anything else to say. He almost wanted to cry, not from the pain, not from the fear, but from _relief. _Because somehow, sitting here with her hands holding his head, he was free.

_You can't stay here forever,_ the logical part of his brain argued.

He really was beginning to hate the logical part of his brain. Nevertheless, he tore himself away from Namine and pulled his knees to his chest again.

"I'm fine," he said.

Namine stared at him for a second, and then positioned herself so she was sitting next to him. After a second she drew her knees to her chest, mimicking him.

"No you're not," she whispered. "And I'd like to know why."

He shook his head.

"No. You don't." It took a lot of effort to keep his voice from cracking. "You don't want to know what-" He paused. "What the Organization did to me."

Organization. Broader term. Broader kind of pain. That didn't mean the nightmares didn't come, but they were easier to ward off this time.

Riku swallowed. Part of him was craving relief. In fact, most of him was craving relief, and it didn't help that relief was sitting right next to him. But no. To get relief, he'd have to admit to her that he was weak. Needing comfort was weakness.

Wasn't it?

It didn't matter. He didn't need comfort.

Did he?

"Is that why you're so upset?" Namine asked.

He grunted. "Yeah."

_One of the reasons, _his mind added.

But that was the only reason he was going to admit to.

Namine was silent for a moment.

"You don't want to talk about this, do you?" she said.

"Not really," he admitted, hugging his knees tighter. He could feel her looking at him.

"That's fine," she sighed. "I just… I don't like seeing you hurt, Riku. It makes me hurt, too."

He glanced over at her, shocked. She wasn't looking at him anymore.

"It's like… like I'd do anything so that you wouldn't hurt anymore. Not that… there's anything I can do about this, is there?" She turned to him.

He stared.

She was… worried about him. Wait. He knew that. That didn't surprise him.

But… she was worried about him to the point where she hurt to see him hurt.

He didn't very much like the idea of her hurting.

All the more reason to hide his own hurt from her.

But she already knew he was hurting…

As much as he hated to do it, he shook his head. There really _wasn't_ anything she could do. She couldn't fix what had happened to him. She couldn't make it stop haunting him. She couldn't make the pain go away.

_Maybe she can…_

It was a very faint hope, but…

_She made the pain stop, just minutes ago. She brought me relief. Relief from the nightmares, relief from the pain… _

_ And that wasn't the first time she brought me relief, either. She's calmed my nightmares before._

_ Maybe there is something she can do…_

_ But…_

_ What?_

"Just makes it hurt more," Namine said, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Wanting to do something, but knowing you can't. I-" She laughed, slightly, though it wasn't entirely a happy laugh. "I guess I know how you feel, now, when I'm having a meltdown."

If wanting relief wasn't reason enough to start talking, keeping Namine from hurting definitely was.

"Have you ever…" he began, slowly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Ever wondered why I didn't leave you here, when I first found you? Besides, of course, the fact that I was going to the Islands and wanted to take you with me?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Namine shake her head. He wasn't looking directly at her, and therefore couldn't read her facial expression, but he figured she was a bit confused as to where he was going with this.

"No," she said. "The fact you wanted me with you seems reason enough."

He swallowed.

He wasn't entirely sure where he was going with this, either.

"Well… while that, of course, was probably the main reason for bringing you with me, I…" He swallowed again. What to say now? Well, he knew what he wanted to say, but he didn't want to say it… "I couldn't… bear the thought of leaving you there, knowing what might be done to you if I did. The Organization's brutal. I-" No backing out now. "I've learned that from personal experience. I didn't want you to go through the same things I did."

_Yeah, but you're going to put her through that same pain once she learns what they did to _you_, _Riku couldn't help but think. He did his best to ignore the thought. He had started this; he couldn't back out of it.

_You can _so_ back out of it. Tell her it's too painful to talk about._

_ And risk worrying her? Not a chance._

His resolve set, Riku turned to look at Namine, for just a second. She seemed worried, but waiting him for to say more. He turned away again. Now what to say?

"I…"

He didn't know.

He didn't want to mention Larxene, not yet. That was too much to start with.

The Organization…

He had started there. Might as well continue with that, and then single Larxene out later.

How else had the Organization maltreated him?

"I might have been essential to their plan," he found himself saying. "But that didn't keep them from mistreating me. They never passed up a chance to remind me that I was a failure, that I was worthless, stupid, couldn't do anything right. That I was merely a tool, or 'toy' as Larxene tended to put it."

"Mmm." Namine said – a sound of understanding – but no more.

Riku took a deep breath.

"On top of that, I'd be... punished any time I did something wrong, or something they thought was wrong. Guess who was in charge of punishment."

"Oh." Another understanding noise. Things seemed to be clicking together for Namine. Even so, he didn't give her a chance to answer his question.

"Larxene. So, I could just _look_ at her wrong and she'd say it was grounds for punishment, and no one would really argue. No one cared enough to argue. My well-being meant nothing to them, just as long as I could get the job done."

Silence followed. Namine didn't say anything. He almost wished she would, but when he looked at her, and saw the horrified and almost heart-broken look on her face, he thought maybe it was best she didn't. He couldn't stand that look, and couldn't imagine how hard it would be to hold his resolve if she started talking, and he heard the worry and hurt in her voice, too. He could at least put his forehead to his knees and wrap his arms around his head so that he didn't have to look at her. There wasn't any way to keep himself from hearing her, not really.

He took a few deep breaths to hold back the tears that were threatening to come. Then he continued talking. It would be harder to cry if he was talking.

"Punishment involved Larxene dragging me to an empty room of the castle, throwing me across said room, and then chucking lightning at me until she felt I had been punished enough. Usually, she measured that on how much I screamed."

For a few brief seconds, his world shifted, and that was all that was real to him: his screams and her laughter. He bit the inside of his cheek. He couldn't let himself dwell on nightmares, and hopefully the pain would help him focus on _now_.

Not that the pain stopped the fear from surging through him.

_Fear? I'm not scared of her!_

His protests didn't make the feeling go away. He hated it. He hated feeling scared – especially when the fear was irrational, like now. Nothing could hurt him now, and he knew that, but that didn't make him feel any less scared. It didn't make the thoughts or memories hurt any less. It just made him want to curl up inside of himself and hide there. He wanted this to be over. He didn't want to talk anymore.

And why should he keep talking?

That was all he had to say, really. That explained everything.

In fact, he _shouldn't_ say any more; he'd unloaded enough on Namine already.

But he couldn't keep himself from talking, despite how much he wanted to. He had broken down the walls protecting him from the pain, and this was the price he paid. He couldn't hold back the need to have someone else know, having someone else _understand_ what he had been put through.

And it was that need that kept him talking.

"I couldn't run, I couldn't struggle. Those were seen as acts of defiance, and defiance was definitely grounds for punishment. More punishment meant more pain." It was a surprise he could even talk with how tight his throat was. "Larxene would undoubtedly catch me if I ran, or subdue me if I struggled, and then the amount of lightning would be doubled or tripled, and the pain-"

He shuddered. His stomach clenched. He tried to ignore it.

"I'm sure I shouldn't have been allowed to protest, either, but she enjoyed the protest. She enjoyed it and the begging, the pleading, just as much as she enjoyed my pain and my screams. I used to try so hard not to scream, not wanting to give her that satisfaction, but-" He took a shaky breath. He could feel the tears coming, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to hold them back. "But it didn't take me long to learn that the sooner I screamed, the sooner it would be over. So I screamed. I'd do anything to make the pain end."

The pain…

The pain that haunted him, even now.

"But the pain doesn't end!" He was practically shouting, now, and in his frustration the tears broke loose. He cursed himself and tried to get them back under control, but it was no use. "I thought I was free of her. But what do I get? I get twenty-six damn Replicas of her. _Twenty-six. _You ever wondered why I kill them?"

Namine didn't answer.

"Her face, that _laugh_-" He choked, had to hold back a sob, and then kept going. "It brings back all the torture. It's all I can do not to start crying the moment I see her. But I can't cry." The sob escaped him. "Not in front of her. So I- I attack. I turn all I'm feeling into anger, because I need to let it out _somehow._"

Silence.

Riku held back the rest of his sobs, wanting to at least contain them if he couldn't contain his tears.

Then suddenly Namine wrapped her arms around him. He tried to break away, knowing it would be much harder to contain his sobs if she was there, but she held him tightly, unwilling to let him go.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" she asked; her voice small.

"Who was I supposed to tell?" he replied, voice shaking. "Sora and Kairi were freaked out by the fact that I had nearly died – I didn't need to add the fact that I was beaten, abused, and tortured on top of it. Past four months I've been around no one but a bunch of people who I doubt care about me all that much. Joseph's not entirely a person I'd want to have conversation like this with, and there isn't anyone else, really."

"You could have told me…" she whispered.

"I just did."

"You could have told me _sooner,_" she clarified.

"You know me. Didn't want to worry you."

She laughed slightly, and then pulled him into a more proper hug.

That was all it took for Riku to break down into sobs, much to his embarrassment. Namine held him closer, trying to calm him down. Eventually, he managed to get his sobs back under control, and started to pull away. She refused to let him.

"Namine," he said, trying to pull away again. She held him there.

"Nope," she said. He could hear the smile in her voice. "I'm making up for all the times you needed a hug but never got one."

Unsure of how exactly he was supposed to respond, he just hugged her back.


	130. Loathing and Fear

uhm... I've got nothing to say at the moment. See my blog for any notes about this chapter.

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><p>"Are you alright?" Namine asked.<p>

Riku turned to her. "Yes, I'm _fine_," he replied, and he sounded slightly annoyed. "Why do you keep asking me that?"

She swallowed, unsure of quite how to put it without upsetting him. She couldn't come up with anything, so she sighed and whispered: "You're crying again."

He responded just like she knew he would; he groaned in frustration and wiped his eyes, as if doing so would erase the fact that he had been crying in the first place. Namine watched with a growing discomfort – she really did not like watching Riku cry. Seeing him cry made her want to throw her arms around him, hold him close, and tell him that everything was okay. Not that everything _was_ okay, but…

She sighed and waited for him to get himself sorted out.

They'd been sitting here for a while now, waiting for Riku's nerves to calm down before they went to do anything else. Calming him down, however, proved to be much easier said than done. It seemed like every time Riku got himself calmed down, he'd start crying again, or he'd get the shakes, or—

"I hate this!" he moaned, banging a fist against the ground. A couple of dark pillars shot up, and Namine did her best not to flinch (even though they came nowhere near her). "I hate crying; it makes me feel weak!"

A chill went down Namine's spine.

"_Stop crying; it's annoying!_"

_"Only WEAK people cry."_

Larxene's voice, accompanied with a few scraps of memory. Riku shuddered slightly.

Namine swallowed, then laid a hand on his arm.

"You are _not_ weak," she assured him. "You are everything but."

He shuddered violently, now, and she tightened her grip on his arm, trying to steady him. It wasn't any use. She hadn't expected it to be. He just kept shaking – trembling, almost.

_It's okay, Riku, _she thought, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight. _There's no need to be afraid. I'll be here for you, just like you're always here for me._

She was struck with the sudden feeling of fear and… abandonment? Whatever it was, it was paralyzing, and it was all she could do not to start trembling along with Riku. He was in a bad enough state as it was – she couldn't have him worrying about her, too. That would be—

_Hopeless._

That's what it was.

"I'm fine," Riku said. "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine."

Namine had a hard time believing it. His grip on her hand was so tight she was starting to lose feeling. She wouldn't mention it, though.

He let out a long shaky breath.

"I'm fine," he repeated. "I swear, I am. I just—I _hurt._ I shouldn't hurt. I…" He trailed off.

"_Think you could defeat me?_"

_A rush of anger, burning him as he struck. The anger suddenly fizzled and was quickly replaced by shock, and then fear._

She'd seen this memory before.

_"Where'd you ever get a thought like that?"_

She never noticed the paralyzing feeling of weakness that accompanied it.

_"You're weak."_

_ "Worthless."_

_ "Pathetic."_

Namine gritted her teeth and pushed the memory back.

_No,_ she told herself, _I am NOT going to have a meltdown now. Riku's already freaking out enough as it is, I don't need him to worry about me._

I'm_ supposed to be helping _him. _Even though I have no clue _how…

_"I hate feeling like this." _Riku's voice._ "Like I can't protect myself – let alone anyone else. Let alone Namine…"_

"That's not true," Namine found herself saying. She clapped a hand over her mouth.

"What?" Riku asked, turning to her.

"Nothing," she told him. "Just… memory, of sorts, I guess… I was replying to it. I don't know." She rubbed her head.

He looked a bit worried, but when he spoke again, he didn't ask about her head or if she felt a meltdown coming. Instead he asked: "What's not true?"

"Uhm…" She swallowed. "I don't know. A memory. You were saying something about… being weak, and—and not being able to protect me. Which isn't true. You aren't weak, and-"

"That wasn't a memory," Riku interrupted. "I just… thought that…" He seemed awfully confused and rather surprised. Namine was surprised, too. Was she hearing his thoughts? Absurd! Impossible!

_Is it?_ some part of her nagged, but she ignored it.

"That's… weird…" she admitted. "Did you say it out loud?"

"I… suppose I might have…" Riku muttered.

He didn't seem too sure of that. Namine wasn't either.

"Weirdness aside, it isn't true. You are _not_ weak."

"I certainly don't feel that way…" he mumbled.

"But you do a _wonderful _job protecting me," she assured him. "And I can always try and protect you." She shrugged.

He laughed. She smiled.

"Yeah, sure," he said.

She quickly put on a mock frown. "What? You think I couldn't?"

"No offense, Namine, but you aren't the best fighter. You're going to get yourself hurt."

She sighed, but went ahead and agreed with him. No sense arguing with that – it was true – and at least she had gotten him to smile, and laugh too. Progress.

_"What are you doing!?"_

_ "Protecting you. What does it look like?"_

Now if only she could get the meltdown to stop…

"You feeling better?" she asked Riku, doing her best to smile at him. She felt a bit guilty; she was only asking to distract herself. She thought that maybe if she could talk to him, hear him laugh again, see his smile – maybe it would all make the meltdown go away.

Just wishful thinking, really…

"I think so, yeah," Riku said. He let out a long breath. "For the most part, anyway."

"Good." She nodded. "I'm glad."

Though, it was actually kind of working.

"I probably shouldn't ask, but…" he paused for a second. "That Larxene Replica that was here. Do you know what happened to her?"

Namine shook her head. "I ran off after you right away."

He nodded. "Right."

"You weren't planning on going and killing her or anything, were you?" A little bit of worry crept into her voice.

He shrugged. "I don't know."

She instantly felt relieved.

"_Don't provoke her!_"

_"What are you waiting for?"_

Pity, that idea to hold the meltdown back hadn't gone as well as she'd hoped it would. An unbelievable amount of pain surged through her in response to the memory, and she bit her lip to avoid screaming. Not like it probably changed anything – Riku probably knew what was going on. Even without her screaming, it had to obvious.

"_Stop it! STOP!_"

_Laughter._

"Namine?"

_"Did you honestly think you were stronger than me? Don't make me laugh!"_

_ Fear._

_ Backing up, hitting a wall—_

She wanted to scream. Why now? Of all times, why _now?_

_ Pinned to a wall._

_ Unable to move._

_ Nowhere to go._

_ "Scared?"_

_ Larxene's voice: cold, and yet amused – thrilled, really. She laughed._

_ "I guess you should be."_

Namine wanted to cry out, reach out to Riku; anything to make it stop. But she had to be strong. She could push through this. She had to.

For him.

_He groaned slightly and tried to push himself up. He ached all over. That was probably from being thrown across the room. He summoned his blade to him, preparing to get to his feet and attack—_

_ A lightning bolt hit him. He cried out in pain and dropped his blade._

She hated this.

_"Oh, there's no need to struggle," Larxene assured him, her voice sickly sweet. He curled up and bit his lip, waiting for the lightning to pass. Larxene was making his way over to him. He could hear her, even though his eyes were squeezed firmly shut and he could not see her. She picked him up by the collar of his shirt. "Struggling will only make this take longer," she hissed in his ear. Another wave of lightning surged through him, and she dropped him._

_ He found himself screaming, though he tried to hold it back. Once the lightning had run its course – it took its sweet time about it – he attempted to push himself up and opened his eyes to glare at Larxene. He tried to speak, only to find his voice wouldn't work, despite the fact he had no trouble screaming mere seconds ago._

She felt Riku's arms around her. He was trembling.

_Stop, _she pleaded. _Stop!_

The memory didn't listen.

_Larxene was watching him struggle, grinning, clearly enjoying ever second. It infuriated him. He tried to summon his blade, only to find it wouldn't come. The pain made it impossible to focus his thoughts enough to will it to him._

_ The pain—_

Namine cried out – she couldn't help it. The pain was too much. The memory blurred into a stream of images and screams, accompanied with a lot of lightning. She thought she felt Riku pull her closer, but she couldn't tell.

The memories settled.

If only they had moved on to a different memory than this one…

_"Why- why are-" he managed to gasp._

_ "Punishment," Larxene explained, simply, her grin widening. "You didn't think you could just get away with what you did, did you?"_

_ What he did? What had he done? He couldn't remember. Even so, it can't have been enough to warrant THIS. He had just—_

_ He had…_

_ Larxene was charging up another lightning bolt. He wasn't paying attention – though he should've been. He was too busy trying to remember what he had done, however, and then figure out how exactly this was the best way to punish him for it._

_ He figured out that last bit very quickly, as the lightning hit him. Every other amount of pain he had felt in his short life quickly paled in comparison to this pain. Every inch of him was screaming in agony. The lightning raged through him, unforgiving, it would not let him BE. He tried to distract himself from the pain, only to find he couldn't. He couldn't focus on anything. The only thing that was real to him was the pain – the endless pain._

The pain dissolved into more memories, more pain, and screaming that assaulted her ears, tore through her, and even though it was just in her head it all _hurt._ Her body was crying out, just as his was, as if it had lightning raging through it, too. It was all so _real._ She knew that she was fine, that she was sitting in Riku's arms and miles away from the nearest Larxene, but the _pain—_

_ It wouldn't let her be._

It invaded her every thought, every corner of her mind, and the memories just got _worse._ A continuous blur of excruciating pain, accompanied by laughter and screams and voices though she could not make out any words. It was just noise. Noise and pain and fear. There was anger, and confusion, but fear was the strongest.

She was suddenly aware of tears on her cheeks, and her first thought was:

_Can't cry. Crying is weakness, and I can't be weak._

Riku's words, and yet they were her own. It was a notion, a thought, a _rule_ that had been pounded into her mind and there was no escaping it. No denying it. Crying was weakness and that's the way it had always been. It was the way it would always be.

That thought alone made her want to cry more.

But she couldn't cry.

_It's not fair! _She wanted to scream. _It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not FAIR!_

_ "Since when did you care?"_

Larxene again. Namine was beginning to understand why Riku had no qualms about killing her seemingly endless amount of Replicas. She wanted to strangle Larxene herself.

"_It's not going to hurt that much!_"

That, of course, was a lie.

_It's not fair, _Namine thought. _It's not fair! No one should have to go through this!_

Not just the lightning and the torture, but the taunts, the insults, the abuse, the maltreatment—

It was a continuous loop, in her head.

_Just make it stop. Please._

_ "_Just make it stop…_"_

"I can't, I'm sorry, I can't," was Riku's reply. He sounded like he was in tears. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You just have to hold on. You'll be okay. It'll stop. You'll be okay."

_It'll stop._

_ You'll be okay._

A promise he never had.

It wasn't fair.

_It wasn't fair!_

"Not fair," she mumbled. "Not fair."

Strong.

Had to be strong.

Couldn't be strong.

She wanted to be strong for him but couldn't – how could anyone be strong under this much weight? How had he managed it for so long?

It wasn't fair.

There was no reason he had to do it on his own – no reason at all – and yet he did. He held all this weight on his chest and it wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair…

Everything faded to black.


	131. Detour

In case you haven't already, PLEASE check out the link that's on my profile concerning the redesign of Riku's dark mode. This chapter will make more sense if you do  
>(though if you're lazy and don't feel like looking, that's cool. This is the only time Riku's new dark mode will be specifically mentioned in-story, unless other people (like Joseph) decide to ask aboutmention the change. So, besides this chapter, I guess you'll be cool for the rest of the story if you don't bother to look at my redesign for Riku's dark mode)

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><p>Namine was surprised to find herself in Riku's arms when she woke up. It wasn't like she minded or anything, but it certainly wasn't where she expected to be. Normally, after a meltdown, Riku'd take her to her room, and she'd wake up in her bed.<p>

She remained very still, wanting to savor the moment. He was cradling her close to him, his arms protecting her. It was times like these that made her certain that there was nowhere else in all the worlds that she'd feel safer in than in Riku's arms.

_It's not like you can stay here forever,_ the logical part of her brain argued.

She laughed slightly.

_Oh, but sometimes I wish I could…_

"How long have you been awake?" Riku asked. His voice was quiet and a tad rough.

"Not long," she assured him.

He relaxed his hold on her, allowing her enough space to get up. She did nothing more than shift slightly, perfectly content to stay where she was for the moment. He gave her a funny look. She just smiled.

"How's your head?" he asked after a moment.

She shrugged. "The usual." She stared at him for a second. He was still in dark mode, so he probably was still upset. It wasn't likely he'd forgotten to phase out of it. "How are you doing?"

"Alright."

She didn't quite believe him, but didn't press the matter.

Neither of them said anything for a while.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked. He seemed really worried.

Namine couldn't help but laugh slightly. "Yes, I'm sure," she told him.

Riku shifted slightly – not that it was easy for him to do that with her in his lap, and he didn't shift much, but it was enough to give Namine the sense that he was uncomfortable about something. "I just… I feel bad," he muttered.

"Well, don't," she said. "It's not like it's your fault."

"I know, I just wish we knew what caused them." There was a bit of bitterness in his voice. "Then we could figure out how to get them to stop."

"My meltdowns?" Namine laughed. "I think those are the least of our worries."

"They're hurting you, and that's enough reason to figure out how to make them stop," Riku replied, firmly, in a tone that immediately squashed her laughter. His tone made it clear that, to him, the meltdowns were definitely _not_ the least of their worries.

She swallowed. "Well, we'll figure it out eventually." She frowned then, noticing something. "What's this?" she asked, reaching up and tracing the something she had noticed on his cheek with her fingers.

"What's what?" he asked.

"_This_," she repeated, laughing, tracing her fingers over it again.

He made a face, and then reached up to feel for himself. He promptly jumped in shock and felt his face more thoroughly. Namine sat up and took a better look at him. There were tendrils of red that snaked onto his face, coming from the red that was now present throughout the rest of his dark suit. The red seemed to have only manifested itself in tendrils: one tendril snaked down his left arm, while another snaked onto his back.

"What the crap is this?!" Riku said, still feeling the tendrils on his face.

Namine burst out laughing.

He glared.

Rather than apologize for laughing at his discomfort, she told him: "The rest of your dark suit has changed, too."

Riku glanced down at himself, taking in the changes. After a second he got to his feet as if to get a better look at himself. "It's different," he said, finally, turning to Namine. "I don't like it."

She laughed again, but tried harder at covering it up this time. She pushed herself to her feet. "I almost want to draw a picture of you now—actually, that's not an almost. I'm seriously itching to draw a picture." She chuckled. "I'm going to go get my-" She paused, realizing that Riku's eyes were firmly fixed on a particular spot on the wall and that he was glaring.

"Shoot," he whispered.

"What's wrong?" Namine asked. She couldn't see anything different about the particular wall Riku was staring at. It just looked like a wall.

He pointed. "There's a security camera right there. And I didn't take it out when I came here." He muttered something under his breath that was much fouler.

She frowned at the wall for a second – she still couldn't see the camera. It must've been hidden – and then turned to Riku. "I don't… see what the problem is…" she said, slowly, feeling like an idiot.

"Well, I don't think I'd _want_ anyone hearing anything from the conversation we just had," he replied. "_Especially_ not one of the Larxenes."

"Oh." Now that he had explained it, it seemed obvious, and she felt even more like an idiot.

"Idiot!" Riku muttered. "You're such an idiot!"

Namine stared for a second, a bit shocked, and then realized that from the tone of his voice he was probably scolding himself. In fact, given the way he was kneading his knuckles into his forehead, that was probably _exactly_ what it was.

"Now, don't say that," she told him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up over it. I mean, what's done is done – and, more importantly, the likeliness of anyone stumbling across the footage is pretty slim… right?" The last part was a legitimate question. She could assume that it wasn't likely, but she wasn't entirely positive.

"I guess so," he sighed. "My corner is in a pretty obscure part of the Castle – only Vexen would find the footage if he looked; he's the only one who knows that there's significance to this corner. Everyone else would be lucky to stumble upon it." He took a deep breath, and then shot what looked like Dark Firaga at the camera. "Still…" He held his hand out to Namine. "C'mon."

She took his hand. "Where are we going?"

"To delete the past few hours of footage from the system – at least for this room, anyway," Riku explained.

"Oh," Namine muttered. Again, now that he had said it, it seemed pretty obvious. "Can I ask what significance this corner has, first?"

He shrugged. "It's my corner—It's where I'd go in the other universe if I needed to be alone. Or, typically, after Larxene…" He trailed off, swallowed. "C'mon," he said, forming a dark corridor around them both.

They emerged in a part of the Castle that Namine didn't recognize. It seemed almost _bleak,_ the walls appearing more grey than they were white. Part of her knew that they were in the basement, but even so, she wasn't sure why they were here. The room was completely empty.

Riku swore.

"What is it?" Namine asked.

He ran a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs out of his face for a second. "It's not here," he muttered, angrily. "There should've been a computer here. Why is it not here? This is _exactly_ where it was in the other universe!"

She shrugged. "This isn't the other universe," she pointed out.

He groaned. "We'll have to go ask someone where we can find a computer that has access to surveillance footage." He shifted out of dark mode, took a deep breath, and formed another dark corridor around them. They came out in the Main Room, this time.

"Omigosh, Riku!" Joseph was running towards them, Toby following at a much slower pace. "Are you okay?"

Riku grunted. "Yeah." He clearly wasn't in the mood for this.

"Toby's really sorry about-"

"It's fine." Riku interrupted. The tone of his voice told Namine he didn't want to be having this conversation right now. "I'm fine." He sighed. "Listen, do you know where Alpha is?"

"Whatcha need him for?" Joseph replied.

"I need a computer with access to surveillance footage," Riku said.

"That's easy!" Joseph laughed. "There's one on Floor 13."

Riku tensed. "Figures," he muttered, voice rough. He was shaking slightly. Namine squeezed his hand, hoping to calm him.

"Is there something wrong with Floor 13?" Joseph asked, cocking his head to the side.

Riku quickly shook his head. "No, of course not!"

Namine knew that this was probably a lie, and given the look in Joseph's eyes, he most likely knew, too.

"Well, if you don't want to be hanging around there long," Joseph said. "I could form a dark corridor straight to the computer for you-"

"I've got it," Riku said.

Joseph frowned. "Why do you-" he began. Namine held up a hand to stop him.

"Maybe another time," she said, smiling. She tried to catch his eye, hoping that she could somehow tell him that this wasn't a subject to get into with Riku and that he should stop asking questions. Even though Joseph did turn to look at her, he didn't seem to get the message. Namine turned to Riku. "We going, Riku?"

He nodded, and formed a dark corridor around them.

Namine glanced around. She didn't see a computer. "Riku…" she said slowly.

"I know," he replied. "I wasn't aiming for the computer. I was just trying to get away from Joseph." He reached out, face set with determination, and formed a dark corridor. He stared at it. "I think that'll take us to it."

"Why didn't you just let Joseph form a corridor for us?" Namine asked.

"Because if he had control over the corridor, there's no way I'd be able to stop him from coming with us," Riku explained.

Namine sighed. She couldn't argue with that.

"You know what you need to be doing with the computer?" She asked. She felt slightly bad for doing so – she didn't doubt Riku's computer abilities – but given his aversion to wanting to be on the 13th Floor, she wanted to make sure they weren't going to spend more time there than they had to. Having him get frustrated because he couldn't figure out how to use the computer wasn't going to help that cause.

"Of course I do," he replied, a bit tense. "I've done this before: I just have to find the footage for my corner and delete the past seven hours."

Namine frowned at the "seven hours" – she doubted it was that much time – but didn't say anything about it. It wasn't worth it to argue about how much footage he needed to be deleting. "Do you know how to find the footage?"

He rolled his eyes. "It should be listed by floor number and room number – it'll be easy to find."

"Do you know where-"

"I know where my corner is, Namine," he interrupted. He didn't seem entirely happy.

She shifted uncomfortably – she felt bad now. She swallowed. "Just making sure… This is a parallel universe and all; it could be somewhere different than where you expect it to be."

Riku was definitely annoyed now, though he tried not to show it. "It's in the same place. Trust me. Even if this is a parallel universe, certain things_ feel _the same." He threw a glance at her. "Why else do you think I don't want to go to the 13th Floor?" He turned to the dark corridor, starting through it. "Now let's get this over with!"

She grabbed him by the shoulder, stopping him. "What happened to you on the 13th Floor?" she asked.

He didn't turn to her, didn't move at all, and it was a long time before he spoke.

"Everything." His voice was quiet. "It was where the Organization had their meetings. It was where I was rewritten. Most of my 'punishments' happened somewhere on this floor."

She was silent for a moment, staring at his back. She wasn't sure what to say.

"You don't have to go," she tried. "We can have someone-"

"I don't want anyone else seeing that footage," he interrupted, throwing a glance over his shoulder. "And the longer we sit around here arguing, the more likely someone's going to stumble upon it."

"What about Vexen?"

"I _definitely_ don't want _him_ seeing the footage."

"But he-"

"No."

Namine sighed. "I can go," she suggested.

He chuckled. "Yeah. Do you know how to delete the footage?"

"Is it hard?"

He turned to her then, a tired look in his eyes. "Look, Namine, I'll be _fine._ I'm just deleting some footage – we won't be there for more than five minutes."

She let go of him. "Okay," she said. "Let's go then. Get this over with."

They stepped through the dark corridor.


	132. Old Angers

I'm really only posting this because I need to if I want to do Riku's character page (not that the character page will go up tonight. Probably tomorrow)

And, uhm, I'm suddenly out of chapters to post. So, BRIEF HIATUS TIME!  
>Not that it's really a hiatus, it's just me not posting anything until I've written more, which I doubt will take any longer than a week; two at most (and on a VERY unlikely chance, a month, but that is VERY unlikely). Keep an eye on my blog to see if the hiatus takes longer than expected and for updates about when I plan on posting again and stuff.<p>

In the meantime, however, I DO have stuff to post to ASAS, so keep an eye on that, too.

**Update Feb 2014: **I'm not completely sure which ASAS chapters I was referring to, but I know Ch34 specifically takes place around here. (It's Q and Amaryllis meeting up.)

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><p>Thankfully, the dark corridor <em>did<em> take them to the computer, though "computer" might not have been the right term. This computer – the entire _room, _really – was designed with surveillance in mind. One wall was completely covered in screens, each with a different camera feed. The computer screen itself was split into five parts. Four of those five were squares displaying specific camera feeds. The fifth part was a box that Namine assumed was used for the purpose of navigating the system, given its layout. She didn't ask, though, and let Riku do what he needed to.

She leaned against the desk, and absentmindedly stared at the wall of screens. Her eyes picked up details; little things, people she knew, but she gave them no thought. Her mind was on other things.

_"You don't want to know what the Organization did to me."_

Riku's words rang in her ears.

She had never given the Organization much thought before. She knew they existed. She knew who most of their members were. She knew who Larxene was, she knew who Vexen was, she had scraps of memory of Marluxia. Saix, she knew because of the Rebellion. She'd talked to Axel before. She doubted she'd forget Xigbar – though she had only spoken with his Clone. Xemnas she knew, vaguely. She knew he was the leader of the Organization, and she could put a face to his name, but no more.

Still, outside of how they affected the Rebellion, she had never thought much about the Organization.

_But he said "Organization", even though he only really talked about Larxene._

_Have they all hurt him in some way?_

She closed her eyes, trying to recall the conversations she and Riku used to have months ago, when they'd talk about the pictures she'd drawn. She'd drawn at least one picture of all the Organization members that meant something to him. She could remember pictures of Larxene – pictures that she wanted to destroy, now – but who else? Who else had he mentioned?

_Zexion—_

_"Axel made me kill him."_

_Axel—_

_"Always in and out. He had an agenda of his own."_

Who else?

_Marluxia—_

_"He hardly acknowledged me. Thought I was a waste of time and effort."_

_Vexen—_

_"I _definitely_ don't want _him_ seeing the footage!"_

Fresh words. Riku had said them mere minutes ago. He was still angry at Vexen. Not angry enough to kill every Replica of him, but enough that he refused to get along with him.

Vexen was the only Organization member from Riku's universe that remained in Riku's life. The only one Riku had to _truly_ deal with, and Riku refused to do so. Yes, Namine knew that Vexen had a tendency to be… annoying. But it was more than annoyance that Riku felt towards him.

It was frustration. Anger. She'd seen it a thousand times.

_The only other person who angers Riku this much is Larxene._

_Larxene and Vexen…_

_What do they have in common?_

Her eyes were fixed on a particular screen. She was watching, though not really seeing, one of the Vexen Replicas. He was pacing.

_From my understanding, they have almost nothing in common._

_And yet…_

_Both of them have the capacity of angering Riku._

_Not that it's hard to anger him, but neither of them really even has to try._

_Why is that?_

_What has Vexen done to Riku that puts him on the almost the same level as Larxene?_

Namine turned around to look at Riku. He was still hunched over the computer, eyes firmly fixed on the screen, hand on the mouse, clicking every few seconds. His hair was in his face, and it must've been bothering him, because he tried to blow a strand of it out of his eyes. It didn't work very well. Namine found herself smiling slightly. The smile fell, though, once she realized how tired he looked.

He also looked… different. Well, _he _wasn't different. It was like she was looking at him through different eyes. He suddenly seemed… stronger. Like now that she knew all the pain he had been through, the mere fact that he'd survived it, that he was still _living,_ that he had yet to break—

He was much stronger than she had believed him to be.

And she had never once thought he was anything but strong.

Yes, he had slipped today, but she didn't blame him. It didn't make him "weak" in her eyes. Everyone had the right to slip every now and then. And, even if he had slipped – broken for just a second – he still got back up. He got back up and faced his fears.

Even if it was only just the memory of his fears.

_Memories aren't much easier to face than the real thing. I would know. It was brave, what he did. Those memories of Larxene _hurt.

She sighed.

_Larxene…_

It wasn't a pleasant thought.

_He's scared of Larxene._

It wasn't that the thought surprised her. It was another thing that seemed obvious now that he had mentioned it. But the thought still hurt…

She frowned, something else occurring to her.

_Is he scared of Vexen?_

It didn't seem likely.

Yet—

"_I turn what I'm feeling into anger._"

Was all that anger towards Vexen just fear expressed in the only way Riku could express it?

_Only one way to find out…_

"Riku?" she said.

"Mm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

He didn't turn to her. "Yeah."

She hesitated.

_No, you shouldn't ask. He's answered enough questions today._

_But I have to know…_

"Will I distract you?"

Maybe she should wait until they were away from here. Floor 13 wasn't a comfortable place for Riku. It'd be best to ask him questions like this somewhere where he was comfortable, right?

He shook his head. "No. I'm already done, really."

She frowned. "Then what are you doing?"

"Checking nearby cameras. Parts of our conversation might've been picked up."

"Oh."

"What did you want to ask?"

"Well…" She swallowed. She should've thought more about how she was planning to ask the question. "You mentioned that it wasn't just Larxene who treated you awfully. You mentioned the Organization."

She could see the frown form on his face, even though he was not looking at her.

"Yeah…?" he asked, slowly.

"Is… is that why you hate Vexen so much?" The words fell out of her mouth.

Riku froze.

Namine held her breath.

She'd said something wrong. She must've. She shouldn't have said anything. She should've left it alone.

He slowly turned to her, his expression not only tired, but his eyes pained. "What do you mean?" his voice was rough, like it was hard for him to get the words out.

"I mean-" She should really stop talking. Tell him to forget it; that it didn't matter. "I know how Larxene hurt you, did he-"

_-hurt you like she did?_ But those were words she could not make leave her mouth.

Thankfully, Riku caught on to her train of thought.

"Did he—oh." Riku laughed. "No." He laughed again, but it was surprisingly bitter this time. "He wouldn't have wanted to harm his _precious_ pet project."

"So why do you…" she began, but it didn't matter. He was already answering her question.

"That's all I ever was to him. An experiment." His voice was quiet, but it did not hide his anger, nor his bitterness. "No, he never directly caused me any pain, but—he _frustrates_ me. I don't like him, I have never particularly liked him, and yet he goes around now acting like he's my father or something! He is _not_ my father!" He pounded his fist against the desk, causing the computer to shake slightly.

Namine reached out to him, ready to tell him at least to get away from the computer before he got the urge to punch or throw something (as people tended to do when they were angry and there were breakable things nearby). Thankfully, she didn't need to say anything. He had already taken a few steps away from the desk, rubbing his head in his frustration.

"I'm just an experiment to him. He doesn't need to try and treat me differently!"

"Maybe he's trying to… make up for how he treated you before?" Namine suggested, voice small. As she suspected, it didn't make any difference to Riku.

"He doesn't need to. I know _exactly_ what I am to him!" He was not shouting, but she almost wished he would. This quiet anger – the way his words were coated in hate and bitterness as he spat them – was much more unnerving. "I'm just an experiment gone right. He doesn't need to treat me like I'm his _son_." That bitter laugh left Riku's lips again, though it had more of an edge to it this time, making it seem angry, too. "If he _honestly_ cared for me like a son, then he would've _done_ something. He would've _stopped_ Larxene!" Riku paused for a second, rubbing his eyes. "That's what parents are supposed to do, right? Keep things from hurting you, comfort you when you're upset—Vexen didn't do any of those things. Vexen just-"

He stopped. Namine suddenly had her arms around him.

"I'm beginning to think that I have a lot more hugs to make up for than I originally thought," she whispered.

He stared at her, still unsure of how to respond to that. "You don't… have to…" he tried to say, but he couldn't make the words come out right.

"Yes I do," she replied.

He tried to argue; she didn't have to do anything for him. However, it was hard to protest against her hugs when he was in her arms. Besides, it's not like there was any _point_ in refusing her hugs.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her closer to him. She rested her head on his chest. They stood there for a while, not saying anything.

"You almost done?" Namine asked, breaking the silence some time later.

He blinked a few times, not quite following. Then he remembered the computer. The footage. He was deleting footage. Right. He knew that.

"Yeah."

He let go of her. She lingered for a second, but then let go of him, too. She smiled up at him. The smile looked tentative, like she was trying to be reassuring but not positive how to do so. It made him ache slightly. This was all wrong. He was supposed to be the strong one, not her.

He did his best to smile back at her, though it made his chest ache, and then turned to the computer. Only a bit more footage to go through…

He clicked on the next camera feed. After a second, he frowned. He'd already checked this one, hadn't he? He couldn't remember.

_It's probably fine. You got all the cameras that were close to your corner. Sound doesn't carry well through the Castle._

_Still…_

_"Embarrassed, are you?"_

He froze.

Larxene's voice.

_It's in your head… _he told himself.

It certainly didn't _sound_ like it was just in his head.

_The 13__th__ Floor's finally gotten to you. You should get out of here before it gets worse._

His free hand gripped the edge of the desk tightly.

He could hear Larxene laughing.

_Get out of my head!_

He bit the inside of his cheek, using the pain to get himself to focus.

_This is _not_ going to happen! You are not going to let some stupid memory get at you._

_You are a universe and nine months away from that pain, and from her. She cannot hurt you again!_

_"Scared?"_

He clutched his head, bending down until his forehead touched the edge of the desk. His head hurt. Everything was blurry. It was hard to think straight. What was wrong with him?

_"What's _wrong_ with you? Can't you do _anything_ right?"_

Despite how blurry everything was, Larxene's voice was crystal clear.

Even though it was _just in his head._

"Stop…" he mumbled.

_Weak. He was weak._

"Riku?"

Namine.

She sounded worried.

_"How sweet – since when did you _care_ about him?"_

Why wouldn't the nightmares leave him alone?

_"He didn't do anything wrong…"_

_"You- you don't have to protect me."_

"Riku, what's wrong?"

She had a hold of his arm, anchoring him to reality. He was grateful for that, but he wished reality didn't make his head hurt so.

"We- we need to-"

_Go._

But the word would not leave his tongue.

He clutched his head tighter.

_"You heard him. He doesn't need you. You best get out of the way."_

_That was when the lightning struck, not him, but _her._ Then he rushed forward, a cry of rage leaving his lips. It was routine. He'd catch her before she fell, hold her until the lightning stopped. Larxene enjoyed toying with him like this._

_Not that Larxene could ever _seriously_ hurt _her. She _was essential; something they could not afford to break._

_He wasn't._

_And Larxene _loved_ to push him until he broke._

"Riku!"

Namine's voice. Stern. Yelling. Pleading.

He opened his eyes. Namine was holding his face in her hands, looking down at him. Her eyes were filled with worry, anxious—wait a minute.

Looking _down_ at him?

He wasn't holding the edge of the desk anymore. He was still clutching his head, though. But there was something wrong. The world was tilted. There was something pressing against his back. It was—

The floor.

He was lying on the floor.

When had he gotten here?

"What… happened…?" he asked.

"You collapsed," Namine said, slowly. She still looked worried. She sounded worried, too. "Blacked out for a second, too. Are you okay?"

He grimaced, and tried to push himself up. It was hard to do with Namine holding him like she was. He decided he didn't need to sit up.

"Yes," he said. "I'm… tired. Tired."

That was a lie.

He was finding it hard to care.

"Maybe you could use some sleep," Namine suggested.

"I do not!" he protested. "I slept last night." He paused. It had been night by Hollow Bastion standards; who knows what time it had been _here_. Then again, since time didn't quite pass in the Castle… And a day might not have even passed yet…

Still, he had slept recently enough to warrant not needing more sleep.

"You were stabbed in the chest, nearly died, and are still recovering from massive blood loss," Namine reminded him. "I'm sure more sleep couldn't hurt."

He wanted to argue.

But he had said he was tired.

He'd have to admit that he wasn't actually tired if he wanted to argue.

Though… he _was_ tired, now that he thought about it.

Maybe sleep _couldn't_ hurt.

_But… the nightmares! _a part of his brain cried out, terrified.

"Yeah, I guess sleep would be a good idea," he said, ignoring it.

_The nightmares are going to haunt me no matter what, _he told himself._ Staying awake isn't going to change anything. Besides—_

He glanced up at Namine.

She pulled away from him. He slowly pushed himself up. His head was starting to hurt again…

Namine reached out to form a dark corridor, but then paused. She laughed slightly. "No sense making you walk," she said, and formed a dark corridor around them instead.

They came out in Riku's room, sitting on his bed. Namine quickly got up so that Riku had enough room to lie down. He flopped down onto the bed, eyes closing almost immediately. He must've been tired…

She slowly headed for the door, hoping not to disturb him – though she doubted he had fallen asleep _that_ quickly.

"Namine?"

Exactly.

She paused.

"Yeah?"

He was pointedly not looking at her.

"You mind staying here?"

She couldn't quite read the tone in his voice. "Sure thing," she said, sitting down on the floor next to his bed. She almost wished she'd asked if she could get her sketchbook first, but something told her that drawing right now wasn't a good idea. So she just sat there for the next few minutes. Riku didn't move. She assumed he had gone to sleep.

"Namine?"

Or he hadn't.

She started to respond, but he spoke before she had the chance.

"You still there?"

The question, the tone in his voice – they made her want to laugh while breaking her heart at the same time.

"Of course," she told him, grabbing his hand and holding it tight. Now he couldn't question whether or not she was there. "I wouldn't leave you."

"Thank you."


	133. Still Here

If you read my blog, I bet you're wondering: "I thought you didn't have any updates for Dead Inside..."

Well. I don't. This chapter was Namine shouting "WRITE IT" in my ear and I was like "okay, okay, I'm writing!" and writing quickly to avoid her wrath. Lol.

I bet that confused you. Basically: This update is only here because Namine insisted I write it. I'm in the middle of writing something else at the moment, so I don't have any more updates after this.

On another note, "Gift of Life" by Two Steps from Hell fits this chapter REALLY well.

And I have like, three updates over on ASAS, in case you've missed them.

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><p>Namine wasn't entirely sure how long she sat there, and how long Riku lay there, before the nightmares hit. She was almost positive, though, that Riku hadn't been asleep for long. It was like the nightmares hit the moment he closed his eyes.<p>

He thrashed about all through the first nightmare; tossing and turning and kicking as he tried to fight off an enemy only he could see. He fought off all her attempts to get him to lie still, and she eventually gave up. With the way he was struggling, it was a surprise she managed to avoid getting hurt.

She squeezed his hand and ran her fingers through his hair, hoping that her touch would calm him. She whispered soothing words to him, and silently wished his dream self would hurry up and kill whatever monster it was fighting already. Eventually, probably having worn himself out, Riku stopped moving. He lay there for a moment, his breath heavy, and then spoke:

"You still there?"

Namine stared at him. His eyes were still closed, and she briefly wondered if he was only talking in his sleep. Even so, she couldn't risk not answering him.

"Yes," she assured him. She was surprised she could speak around the lump that had formed in her throat. "Of course I'm still here."

Could he not feel her hand holding his? Had he not heard her when she spoke to calm him down? Maybe he assumed it had all been part of the dream. Maybe these things did not register to his dream self, and it was that who was questioning her presence. Of course. That must be it.

Or, at least, she told herself that's what it was. She didn't want to consider the other possibility: the possibility that he actually believed she wouldn't stay with him when he had asked her to.

The second nightmare began with him sitting up and screaming, though his eyes were still firmly shut and he was more than likely still asleep. Namine's heart stopped for a moment, stunned, and her breath caught in her throat. When she finally found her breath, Riku had stopped screaming and had retreated to the corner where his bed met the wall. He had pulled his hand away from hers in the process.

"Riku," she said, calmly.

Still caught in the depths of his nightmare, he replied:

"Stay away from me!"

Namine closed her eyes for a second. He didn't know who he was talking to.

"You're alright, Riku," she told him. "You're only dreaming."

He ignored her. He was muttering now, but she was too busy speaking over him to make out what he was saying.

"Nothing's going to hurt you, Riku. It's not real."

He clutched himself tighter, not moving from his curled up position in the corner.

"Riku, you're alright! Please calm down."

It was no use.

He wouldn't listen to her.

Now that she had paused, she could hear what he was muttering. He was muttering things like "stay away from me" and "I didn't do anything" over and over again, spaced by gasps of pain and growls of anger.

_"Stay away from me."_

_ "I didn't do anything."_

Words she had heard before – in his memories. It didn't take much guessing to figure that Larxene was haunting this nightmare. Namine couldn't help but think that Larxene – if she was alive and knew about this – would be all-too-thrilled to know that she gave Riku nightmares.

"Riku, it's not real," Namine tried to say, but her words were drowned out as his body went rigid and he screamed again.

If she had any doubts that Larxene was haunting this nightmare, they were certainly gone now. Unsure of what exactly she needed to do to calm him down – as talking to him clearly wasn't working – Namine slowly climbed into Riku's bed and pulled him close to her, holding him tight in her arms.

"You're just dreaming," she told him, speaking into his ear so she could be heard over his screams (it was a wonder the rest of the Castle couldn't hear him and hadn't come running to find out what was wrong). "It isn't real. You're safe, Riku. It'll stop. Any minute now."

It took longer than a few minutes, but he did finally calm down and settle on the edges of sleep again.

"Namine?" he mumbled.

"Yes?"

"Don't leave me…"

"I won't," she whispered.

She sat with him for a bit. He seemed perfectly at ease; his breathing was calm, and he made no noise or movements. She let out a long breath.

_It's no wonder he never sleeps,_ she thought. _If he has nightmares like this every time he does…_

_ Is that why he asked me to stay here?_

_ To calm his nightmares?_

She tried to argue that, even if that was what he wanted, there was no way she actually was capable of keeping his sleep nightmare free. However, with him completely calm in her arms like this…

_Even if I can calm his nightmares… I'm not sure if I'm comfortable holding him like this until he wakes up…_

She slowly let go of him, and pulled herself away from him. He moaned in protest.

"I'm still here," she assured him, carefully dragging him away from the wall and into a more comfortable position. He didn't resist her, but the look on his face started looking more troubled than calm. "You'll be alright…" She took his hand in hers again, squeezing it tight.

He seemed to be comforted slightly by this, though the troubled look did not leave his face.

"Please don't have another nightmare," she whispered, stroking his hair with her free hand.

His subconscious – or whatever it was that controlled his dreams – didn't listen to her. The third nightmare didn't take long to hit, though it took Namine a few moments before she noticed it. Riku had started crying in response to whatever this nightmare was, but it wasn't until he let out a sob that Namine realized it.

"Shh… it's alright," she told him, doing her best to keep her voice even. It was hard to watch Riku cry. She laid her head down next to his on the bed, hoping the closeness would comfort him.

He was silent for a while – minus his sobs – but he mumbled something in his sleep. His voice was slurred from not being awake, and choked by his tears, but Namine still managed to make it out.

"I'm alone."

Her heart wrenched in her chest.

"You're not alone, Riku," she said, voice catching slightly.

"You… left me… Namine…"

She shook her head in defiance. "I never left you."

"So… you're still there…?"

"Yes, of course I am, Riku!" The words were hard to get out. She felt tears stinging on her cheeks. "I would never leave you. Why would I?"

"I thought-" His words were drowned by a sob.

"Shh," she squeezed his hand tightly. "I'm right here. That's where I'll always be. I'll—I'll _never_ leave you, Riku, I promise." It was hard to speak. Her tears wouldn't stop. Why had she even said that?

It's not like that was a promise she could keep; not _truly._

She found it didn't matter.

So what? She couldn't _literally_ spend every moment by Riku's side. That didn't mean she couldn't be there when he needed her. That didn't mean she couldn't… spend forever with him.

If she… could have what she really wanted... she'd never leave Riku's side.

There was nowhere else she felt safer.

There was… nowhere else she felt happier.

"I swear, I will be with you forever," she whispered. Her heart pounded in her chest. "I'll be there to hold you when you cry. I'll be there when you can't be strong. I'll be there when you need me. I'll always be there. _Always_, Riku."

He let out a long breath. She pushed his hair out of his face. He seemed to have finally, properly, fallen asleep, and was sleeping peacefully – at least for the moment. Namine closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

Despite that her heart was pounding with something she could mistake as nervousness if not excitement, a part of her still ached. Why would he ever think that she'd leave him? Her life had always been with him. Without him, she didn't have much of a life. Even if he only thought she'd leave him for this moment—he was crazy. He'd asked her to stay. Why wouldn't she stay with him?

Why did he believe she'd leave him – when she said she wouldn't?

The thought was unbearable.

Why would he ever think that?

When had she ever given him reason not to trust her?

"Never," she breathed. "I said I would stay with you. I don't intend to change my mind."

It was funny; the words that would leave her mouth when he was sleeping. Had he been awake, she doubted she'd said half of what she'd said. Would she have told him she didn't intend to leave him? Of course. Would she have told him that she wished to spend forever with him? Doubtful.

She ran her fingers through his hair again.

He shifted slightly, groaning softly. Her brow creased with worry. Another nightmare? She wasn't sure if she could calm him down from a fourth one. Doing all this calming down was exhausting…

"It's alright," she whispered. "I'm still here. You—ah!"

The words caught in her throat as Riku sat up, his eyes flying open in shock. "Namine!" he cried, sounding somewhat terrified. She noticed his grip on her hand tightened.

"Hey, calm down," she told him. "I'm here. You're fine."

He turned to her, looking first worried, then relieved. "Oh good." He rubbed his head. "Sorry for… scaring you. I dreamt that—that you… that I-" He sighed and shook his head. "Doesn't matter. You're ali—alright."

She nodded, not seeing any point in arguing the matter.

The look he was giving her now was a curious one. "How long have you been there?" he asked.

She frowned. "I never left," she replied, slowly. "You asked me to stay with you."

He nodded, a bit groggily. "Right. I did do that." He rubbed his head again. "Forgot."

Namine stared at him a moment, wondering if he remembered anything that had happened since he first fell asleep. She then decided it didn't matter, and that she wasn't sure how to ask him about it even if it did. "You should go back to sleep," she told him.

He shrugged. "I think I've had enough sleep…" He made to get out of bed.

She placed a hand on his chest, stopping him from going any farther. "No," she insisted, gently. "You've gotten maybe five minutes of actual sleep in between the nightmares. Lie back down." She gently pushed him back onto the bed, though he really didn't resist her.

"You sure?" he asked. "I'm fine."

"You could use some proper sleep," she told him.

He slowly closed his eyes. "You gonna stay here?"

"Didn't plan on leaving."

He nodded.

"Get some sleep," she whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."


	134. Searching

UPDATES! Lol, they'll be a bit slow, 'cuz working on a Can't Escape sequence, but I hit a bump and so I'm uploading a chapter

Be sure to check out the blog. I mean, you don't have to, but there's a few goodies

but be EXTRA SURE to check out ASAS, I've been posting stuff over there:  
>Like, an addendum to ch...128 "Habit" explaining what everyone else did after Riku ran off (ch33)<br>A scene between Q and Amaryllis (ch34)  
>And then a scene with Aqua (ch35)<br>Also this chapter has a companion ASAS chapter, which is ch38. (Don't read ch36 and 37 until you've read ch138 of Dead Inside)

Yup. ENJOY THE CHAPTER!

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><p><em>I've been at this a week…<em> Kairi thought, slowly, as she finished tying the laces of her new shoes. Tennis shoes. Well fit for running and battle and who knew what else she would be doing out in the Worlds. They were the same purple as her shirt, which was also new. Tifa had insisted on buying her a change of clothes after their last run-in with the Heartless, in which Kairi had torn her shirt. It hadn't been her fault, of course; there was simply a Heartless whose actions she'd misjudged.

Besides the new shirt and shoes, Kairi also had a new pair of shorts. These were khaki with surprisingly large pockets, and they were easy to move in. Along with the change of clothes, Kairi'd gotten a bag to carry her things in. It currently only held her old clothes and a few potions.

There was… also one other addition to Kairi's outfit.

She slowly reached up and fingered Sora's necklace, which she had not taken off since putting it on a week ago—minus the times she had to untangle it from her own necklace, of course. The two necklaces had a nasty habit of getting tangled with each other.

_ Shouldn't we have found him by now?_

_ Tifa said we were lucky to even run into him in Agrabah. From the sounds of it, it'll be a while before we run into him again._

She sighed and got to her feet, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"You ready to go?" Tifa asked.

Kairi nodded. "Where are we headed?"

Tifa shrugged. "Asking around town. We'll check the shops, first, ask if the owners have seen Sora. Then we'll ask other residents."

Kairi nodded again. It seemed like a good idea. "You want to split up?"

Tifa threw a glance at her. "Do you mind splitting up?"

"No," Kairi replied. "We'll get more ground covered that way. Why don't you check the shops and I'll ask around town?"

Tifa frowned. "If there's going to be any Heartless, they're more likely to be around town than around the shops. Maybe I should ask around town."

Kairi laughed. "I can handle a few Heartless," she said. "If there get to be too many or something, I'll just come back here, where it seems to be safe and relatively Heartless-free. Alright?"

Tifa sighed. "Alright."

Kairi grinned and headed outside. She took a few minutes to check around the shops, but once she figured that Sora most likely wasn't there, she went to check the rest of town.

_The thing is,_ she thought, as she started checking between buildings and other such places. _Is that Tifa assumes that if we just keep moving, we'll run into Sora eventually._

_ Which is fine and all, provided he was running._

_ But I don't think he's running._

_ I think he's hiding._

She slowly turned a corner, running her hand along the stone wall as she did so. She was in a place called Traverse Town. It was a quaint little town, full of people who were wanderers, lost souls, and the like. It seemed like a decent place for someone like Sora to fit in – or to hide in.

_And trying to find someone who's running and searching for someone who's hiding are two completely different things._

She'd turned down a side-alley, at the end of which was a door. She stared for a moment, and then started towards the door.

_If you aren't careful when searching for someone who's hiding… you might overlook their hiding spot._

A couple of Heartless stopped her. Just a few small ones, which she easily took out with a bit of Fire magic. Tifa'd been teaching her magic and other fighting skills over the past week, though Fire was the only kind of magic she had a decent control of. Thankfully, it was pretty effective on most small Heartless.

She took a few deep breaths and started for the door again.

The door led to a completely separate area of town.

Kairi sighed. It looked like she had a lot of searching ahead of her.

XXX

Sora's Shadow let out a long frustrated breath before plopping himself onto the cold, stone, ground. He'd been at this for a week. A _week_. There weren't _that_ many worlds out there! How could finding Sora be _this_ hard? He'd been through countless worlds by now; they'd all started to just blur together in his head. He was sitting in a town, right now, though he wasn't sure if he'd been in this town before or not, nor was he even sure if he _recognized _it.

_This is so STUPID! _he thought, clutching his head in his hands. _Where the hell is he!?_

_ I shouldn't have lost contact with him._

_ I should've found him by now…_

The wolf slowly made its way over to him, whining softly. As of lately, it'd been getting kinder towards him. Slightly. It'd started that whining every time he got upset, like it didn't want to see him upset. He figured it only just didn't like seeing him upset merely because how he tended to treat it when he was upset, and not for any other reason.

"You damn dog!" he shouted at it, sending a blast of darkness at it. The darkness did not, of course, hurt it, but it got the message and laid down where it was; well away from him. "Can't you be useful?" he demanded. "Can't you do anything right?"

Its ears were laid back against its head, clearly upset.

He rolled his eyes.

"Don't tell me I've _offended_ you!"

It growled.

'Shouldn't we get moving?' it asked, sounding annoyed. 'We won't find him sitting here!'

"And we aren't _going to find him!_" he shouted. "We've looked everywhere! We've checked every damn World, and he's not in a single one of them! He's not—agh!" The wolf had bit him in the arm, probably to get him to shut up. "Get off me!" he shouted. "_Get off!_"

The wolf only bit him harder.

'We will find him,' it growled, and started dragging him forward. He tried to pull away from it, but its grip on him was too strong. It refused to let go, too, even when he started throwing darkness at it.

'If I have to keep you moving, fine. I'll gladly drag you through every World there is until we eventually find him.'

And despite his struggles, Sora's Shadow just could not stop the wolf from doing just that.

XXX

Sora groaned and rubbed his head. He was sitting on some rock in some corner of some World. He'd lost track how many Worlds he'd been to, let alone what any of them were called. The gaps in his memory certainly didn't help matters. He didn't even know what he was _doing_, besides letting Maleficent drag him from World to World because he didn't have any form of transportation to do anything else.

But it's not like he knew what Maleficent was doing. Last he'd heard, she was looking for a new base of operations, and they were currently going from World to World on some real estate mission. But, that didn't explain why _he_ was being dragged around… nor did it explain why he was so frequently sent into Worlds with Maleficent's lackey Pete. From what little he knew, Pete was trying to put together an army of Heartless. What for? Sora wasn't sure. Nor did he know why _he_ had to go with.

Sora _also_ didn't know why Maleficent needed him so bad. He'd overheard Maleficent and Pete discussing some plan, but he couldn't remember what said plan was; all he remembered that he was absolutely necessary to it. He wasn't given details. All important conversations happened when he wasn't in the room, and any vaguely important conversations that happened when he _was_ in the room he couldn't seem to remember when he thought about them.

So what _did_ Sora know? Sora knew that, apparently, someone was looking for him. He had no idea who was looking for him, though. His Shadow? That Organization 13? He'd run into that one Organization member a while back, and they said they needed him for something. Didn't they? He couldn't remember. But, he did remember that Maleficent told him he was only safe if he stayed with her. Did he honestly believe her? He couldn't say. He could never get his brain to process whether or not her words were lies. But, he had a feeling that she knew the answers. Maybe he could squeeze those answers out of her…

Regardless, he was currently sitting where he was sitting because Pete had gotten tired of 'babysitting' him, and had told him to stay out of trouble and out of the way. So, that's what Sora was doing. What else was he going to do? Run away? Where would he run?

And if he ran, he wouldn't get any answers to his questions.

Who was after him?

What did they want him for?

And what was Maleficent planning?

But most importantly—

Something was tugging at him.

It was a gentle tug; something nudging at his mind. A… familiar nudge, too, though Sora couldn't place when he had felt it before. It was almost hard to think with it nudging him, telling him to go a certain direction. He had a sudden feeling that there was someone in that direction that he needed to be with.

It was an odd feeling – that desire to be with someone when he didn't even know who that someone was. But the feeling – the tugging – was persistent. Sora found himself taking a few steps in that direction, and the tugging went from gentle to eager. It was urging him to keep going, because he _really _needed to see whoever this person was. Apparently.

When he didn't move, he felt something _physically_ tugging at him, though it wasn't very strong. It was coming from his pocket. Confused, and slightly worried, Sora dug it out.

It was the star-shaped charm he'd bought in Agrabah.

And it was _literally_ straining in his hand, trying to go in the direction that the nudging in his mind was telling him to go. Sora wasn't sure if he should try and hold onto the charm or just let it go. Something told him that letting it go wouldn't do any good…

If he wanted to let the charm go where it wanted to, he was going to have to take it there himself.

But who was this person that he apparently needed to see so badly?

An image—a memory?—was suddenly presented to him:

_A boy, with a laugh he could only describe as light. The boy's entire presence was of light, actually. There was also something… familiar about him. The familiarity was both comforting and painful at the same time._

Then:

_A woman, with a voice that was kind and reassuring and strong in its own way. There was something familiar about her, too, though in a completely different way. He felt as if he'd seen her before…_

The tug on Sora's mind grew even stronger. His feet stumbled further forward without him telling them to. The charm strained in his hand; _determined._ There was something drawing it, something—

Another image was presented to him:

_It was the woman again, and she was holding a similar charm, though it was blue. She was smiling – a smile that somehow managed to send warmth through Sora even though he had no clue who she was._

"Aqua…"

Sora froze and nearly dropped the charm in shock.

It _spoke_.

He brought it closer to him, despite its straining, and examined it closely. It didn't _look_ any different, though it certainly _felt_ different. It felt _alive._ And it seemed to be frantic. Desperate, even.

Curious to see what this was all about, and having nothing better to do, Sora let the charm pull him in whatever direction it wanted him to go, using the nudging in his mind as a guide. (The charm had no concept of walls or anything else that blocked Sora's path; only the nudging could tell him how to navigate the terrain and quickly get to where he needed to be.)

He'd walked for maybe a couple of minutes when he was stopped by Pete (whom he'd been unfortunate to cross paths with).

"And just where do ya think you're goin'?" Pete demanded.

"Nowhere," Sora replied, simply. The charm was still straining in his hand. The nudge in his mind was telling to keep going.

"This isn't some sort of escape attempt, is it?"

Sora laughed. "And where would I go? Don't mind me." He started walking again, suddenly wondering if maybe this person that he apparently needed to see could help him. If he wanted to catch them, though, he was going to have to move fast. The urgency of the charm and the nudge in his mind suggested that they were going to leave soon.

"Wait a minute," Pete stopped him again. "What have ya got there?"

Sora sighed. He considered just ignoring Pete and continuing to follow the charm (which the nudge in his mind was desperately urging him to do) but for some reason discarded the thought. He turned to Pete, and held the charm out by its string for Pete to see. The look on Pete's face when the charm pulled in the exact opposite direction of him was definitely worth pausing.

"How's it doin' that?" Pete asked, staring at the charm, dumbfounded.

"I don't know," Sora said. "I was going to see where it was-" He stopped, as the charm suddenly stopped its tugging and fell to hang as a normal charm should. The nudging in his mind had suddenly gone silent, too. Everything – the desperation, the faint whisper, the nagging – they were all gone. The charm had even lost the _alive_ feel it had had for a moment there.

Sora slowly scowled at Pete. "Or not," he said.

"Don't look at me! I didn't do it!" Pete protested. He reached out and poked the charm with his finger, causing the charm to swing back and forth lazily on its string. "Where'd ya get this thing, anyway?"

"Agrabah," Sora replied. He pulled the charm away from Pete and closer to him, suddenly feeling very protective of the charm and for some reason appalled that he had even let Pete touch it. "A merchant sold it to me. Apparently it's lucky."

Pete's eyes lit up. "Luck, huh?" he asked. "Do ya think it was tryin' to lead you somewhere lucky?"

Sora faltered. He knew for a fact that's where it _wasn't_ leading him, but why tell Pete that it'd been trying to get him to meet someone? "I guess it might've been," he said, slowly. "But it's stopped, now."

Pete scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Where was it pointin'? Over there?" He pointed.

Sora wasn't sure if he liked the enthusiasm in Pete's voice, but he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, somewhere in that direction."

"Why don't we go look over there? Maybe we'll be able to find what it was tryin' to lead ya to." Pete was already heading off.

Sora sighed, pocketed the charm, and headed after him. They walked out into an area that appeared to be the edge of the Island they were on, given the fact they were only twenty or so feet away from the water. Sora glanced around, though he doubted there could be anything "lucky" here. The ground around them was completely barren, save for a couple holes that someone had dug.

Pete laughed after a moment. "Yeah, that charm of yours is lucky, alright!" He shook his head. "Ya sure it was pullin' this way?"

Sora nodded. "Maybe it was trying to lead me to something in one of these holes," he said, walking over to one and looking down into it. All that was inside of it was a small crate. Nothing fancy.

Pete laughed again. "Yeah, maybe!" His laughter stopped rather abruptly, though, like he had just realized something. "Now wait a minute," he said, slowly. "There shoulda been Heartless here."

Sora frowned and glanced up. "Hmm?"

"I had this whole plan worked out," Pete said. "If the holes have been dug, then that means there should be Heartless!"

"Maybe someone killed them," Sora suggested. The charm had been pulling him this direction, which meant that someone had been here. Probably. They could've easily killed the Heartless, and then left.

Pete didn't seem convinced. "Summon that Keyblade thingy of yours, will ya?"

"Why?"

"Because it's like a magnet for the Heartless!"

Sora shrugged and went ahead and summoned his Keyblade. No Heartless showed up.

"Walk around a little bit," Pete said. "Maybe they're hidin'."

Sora walked around the area at least three times before Pete finally gave up hope of there being any Heartless around. He started muttering something about what Sora assumed had been his plan. Something about fake maps and someone's greed summoning the Heartless. Or something like that. Sora found it hard to care.

In fact, besides feeling a smugness that he wasn't sure was his own – if it was, he was smug about the fact Pete hadn't gotten any Heartless like he'd wanted – Sora found it hard to care about much of anything all of a sudden.

He located the nearest rock and sat down on it. He tried to occupy himself with whatever he had been thinking of earlier – which was questioning what he was doing, wasn't it…? – but found it hard to care much about that either. In fact, he cared so little that he could hardly even remember what he'd been thinking about before.

He tried to be worried about the sudden gap of memory, but it was hard to do that, too.

He just couldn't bring himself to care.


	135. No Way to Live

Yeah, sort of spamming you with chapters. But I want to finish this sequence before Christmas, and I can't postpone the sequence because other wise you wouldn't be getting ANY updates until Christmas. So.

**Update Feb 2014: ** Ch51 of ASAS has original drafts of this scene, if you wanna check 'em out!

* * *

><p>Demyx whistled as he roamed the halls of the World that Never Was. Why was he roaming the halls? Oh, the usual; trying to avoid people, putting off work, nothing new.<p>

_Thud!_

Demyx jumped slightly. He stood still for a second, hoping the _thud_ding wouldn't be danger and come his direction. When it didn't, he slowly peeked around the corner to see what it actually was. He was surprised to find Axel pinning Vexen – a Vexen _Replica,_ Demyx corrected himself – to the wall.

"You aren't telling me something!" Axel said. He had one of his chakrams at the Vexen Replica's throat, and he didn't look very happy.

_What's his beef? _Demyx wondered, ducking back around the corner. It wasn't often he saw Axel angry – though he hadn't seen Axel on a frequent basis as of lately. Axel was always off doing other things; apparently, threatening people.

_Maybe I should go, _Demyx thought. _I wouldn't want to interrupt… this._

_ But what if what they're saying is important? _a part of him nagged.

_And what am I going to do if it is? Tell someone? I'm not a snitch. It's best if I just stay out of this…_

He was about to head off when he realized that heading back the way he came meant he'd be walking back in the direction of the Grey Area. Going back there meant he'd be told to get to work. And the only other direction he could go was currently blocked by Axel and that Vexen Replica.

_Hmm… go do work? Or risk getting involved in something that I think I'd rather not be involved in?_

"That wasn't the question I asked!" Axel shouted.

_Well, if I stay here, I think I have a reason for slacking off, _Demyx thought slowly, as he peeked around the corner again. Axel looked angrier than ever, though the Vexen Replica didn't seem fazed. _Eavesdropping on this conversation is reason to not do work, right?_

Sadly, he couldn't quite hear what the Vexen Replica said in response. All Demyx heard were the words "file" and "updated recently", which, out of context, meant absolutely nothing to him. Actually, they just meant absolutely nothing to him. He wasn't entirely computer-savvy.

"What if I can get around that problem?" Axel asked.

Demyx grimaced. He was now lost. What problem were they talking about?

_Maybe eavesdropping wasn't a good idea…_

The Vexen Replica laughed. "I suppose you can get around the lack of access to the Main Computer then, too!" He said this as if it were a joke.

Demyx wasn't sure what Axel did next – he'd hidden behind the corner again – but it must've been threatening, given the Vexen Replica's response:

"You won't kill me." Demyx was impressed by how calm the Vexen Replica sounded. "If this brilliant plan of yours is going to work, you need someone who knows how to use the Program, and you aren't going to hunt another one of us down. If there even _is_ another one of us. Master Vexen didn't just give the knowledge of his Program to any Replica."

"Can we do it or not?" Axel said after a moment. He still sounded angry.

Demyx let out a long breath. He'd hate to be in the Vexen Replica's place right now. He would've cracked already if he had been – he'd never been good under pressure. Not for the first time, Demyx couldn't help but think that he was glad he wasn't involved with the Replicas and their Program any more than he had to be.

"And if the file wasn't updated recently?" Axel asked.

Demyx frowned. What file? He'd missed what the Vexen Replica said before Axel's question. But hadn't the Vexen Replica mentioned a file before…?

"Well… it depends on how much the file is missing," the Vexen Replica replied slowly. Demyx couldn't hear what he said after that; his voice had gotten extremely quiet. Demyx strained his ears, but to no avail; the only words he heard made absolutely no sense to him. More technical mumbo-jumbo.

"I do," Axel said.

_He does what?_ Demyx wondered. Out of context, the statement seemed so absurd. And he couldn't hear what the Vexen Replica said next. This Vexen Replica clearly had a habit of speaking very quietly. Demyx wasn't sure what was going on, and was about to look around the corner to see when he heard the distinct sound of a dark corridor opening.

"C'mon, then." Axel's voice. He sounded much happier than he did before. The Vexen Replica must've cracked and given him the information he wanted. "We're going to see the boss."

The Vexen Replica's reply was clear this time: "We're – _what!?_"

When Demyx looked around the corner, they were both gone. He debated for a second what he was going to do next. He figured the _right_ thing to do would be to tell someone about what he had just heard. But Axel had just dragged the Vexen Replica to go see Xemnas… for some reason…

_Looks like the important people are going to hear about it whether I tell them or not,_ Demyx thought, smiling to himself. That meant less work for him to have to do. He resumed his roaming.

XXX

Namine had already shut her door before she realized there was someone else sitting in her room. On her bed. Looking bored.

A Larxene Replica.

Namine pressed herself against the door and quickly fumbled for the doorknob.

"Oh good," the Larxene Replica sighed with relief. "This is actually your room. I'd been sitting here so long that I was beginning to worry it belonged to a Vexen Replica or something." She chuckled. "_That_ would've been fun to explain."

Stupid doorknob. Wouldn't turn.

"What are you doing here?" Namine asked, trying to buy herself sometime.

"I was sent to kidnap you."

Right. Dark corridor it was.

"Wait a minute, you didn't let me finish!" the Larxene Replica said, quickly, stopping her. "I only said that's what I was _sent_ here to do! I didn't actually intend to kidnap you."

Namine stopped trying to form a dark corridor, but didn't take her hand off the doorknob. "Then why _are_ you here?" she asked, slowly.

"I was hoping I could get myself killed."

Namine stared. The request seemed so… unlikely and so… appalling. Why would anyone _want_ to die? It was a while before she could get her mouth working. "What?" she managed to ask, finally.

The Larxene Replica sighed. "I have this… hobby," she said. "A stupid little hobby, really. And let's just say… some things went wrong… and I ended up doing something to my data that I can't… undo."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Namine asked, frowning, confused.

The Larxene Replica glared at her. "I write viruses specifically tailored to Replicas," she explained, and there was an edge to her voice. "I somehow managed to infect myself with one, and it's going to kill me slowly and painfully. I think I'd rather have Riku shove a blade through my gut and just kill me now."

"You're out of luck," Namine said slowly. "Riku's not here right now. He left to go deal with some rogue Replicas. Amaryllis insisted it was important."

The Larxene Replica let out a long breath. "Do you know when he'll be back?"

"Could be anywhere between fifteen minutes and an hour. Depends on who the rogues are." Namine shrugged. "Sorry."

"You mind if I stay here until he gets back?"

Namine blinked a few times. "N-no, I guess not."

"There's no reason to be scared!" the Larxene Replica said, quickly. "I'm seriously not going to kidnap you! And I won't hurt you either – I actually _can't_ hurt you. I've lost the ability to summon lightning, and it's more effort to summon my knives than I'm willing to… uh…" She paused, face looking suddenly blank. "Y'know," she said, finally.

"I'm… not scared," Namine said. "Just still a bit stunned."

The Larxene Replica nodded in what Namine assumed was agreement, but the vague look on the Larxene Replica's face suggested otherwise.

"Uhm," Namine said, after a moment. "Can I ask what your name is?" She realized, too late, that Larxene Replicas were only classified by letter, and quickly tried to amend herself: "I mean-"

"R," the Larxene Replica said, understanding what she meant. She stared at Namine for a second, and then gasped. "Oh! Do you need me to move? I realize I'm totally sitting on your bed-"

"It's alright," Namine said. She slowly reached out and grabbed Riku's chair, pulling it over to her. She paused before she sat down. "Is… the virus you have contagious?" she asked, slowly.

R shook her head. "No!" She faltered, suddenly looking unsure. "At least, it _shouldn't_ be. I didn't write it that way; you only make that mistake once!" She laughed, a bit nervously, and then her face fell. "Though… I'm not entirely sure how _I_ managed to get it… I've got gaps in my memory." She shrugged.

"So it's not contagious?"

"Don't worry! Even if it is, I'm nearly a hundred percent positive that it can't be passed through physical touch or anything," R said. "There'd have to be a data transfer. You're fine."

Namine wasn't sure what to think. She slowly sat down. "So… there's no cure?" she found herself asking after a few minutes. "No way to reverse the virus?"

R shook her head. "Didn't write one," she said. "Didn't think I needed to."

"Could you write one?" Namine asked.

"I… don't know…" R shrugged. "It took me months to write the virus itself. I don't have months to figure out how to reverse it." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I mean… I suppose the concept is fairly simple. The virus was intended to eat away at a Replica's data, so if you write something that will counteract that—" She spoke very quickly and only paused for a quick breath before continuing. "—something that, say, refills the data? It'd have to be open, though; so you could attach whoever's file you needed to it." She suddenly clutched her head. "Ooh, just talking about it just gives me a headache," she moaned.

Namine opened her mouth to say something, but she wasn't sure what to say, so she just closed her mouth instead. They sat there for a while, R clutching her head, breathing heavily. Finally, R spoke:

"It doesn't matter, anyway." Her voice was bitter. "It's not like I could write a cure. I don't understand Code anymore."

"Code?"

"What you use to… to write Replicas. And viruses. And cures for viruses."

Namine frowned. Surely there was someone else who knew how to write Code. "Could someone else write it for you?"

"Who'd want to help me?" was R's reply. "Who'd want to help a Larxene Replica?"

"I'm sure someone-" Namine began.

"Your concern is touching," R interrupted. "But even if we did find someone willing to figure out how to rid me of the virus, Riku's still going to kill me eventually. I might as well die today."

Namine swallowed. There was no more to this argument. She understood as well as—if not better than—everyone else that Riku wasn't likely to let a single Larxene Replica live. The only two that had survived meeting with him so far were L—whose survival could be blamed entirely on 37—and Q—who'd gotten extremely lucky.

"You sure you want to die, though?" she asked, quietly.

R shrugged. "No one will miss me when I'm gone. The only people who were relatively on speaking terms with me were Q – who's probably dead – and Chrys. I haven't spoken to Chrys in weeks…" She sighed, almost sounding a bit disappointed.

"Chrys?"

"Chrysanthemum," R said. "Marluxia Replica. We used to be friends… then he got all weird and stopped talking to me. Oh well."

Namine, again, wasn't sure what to say in response to that. Not wanting to sit in silence, however, she asked: "So you're good with computers?" It was a conversation starter more than anything else. She figured R had to be good with computers; writing a virus didn't sound like it was an easy thing to do.

"I _used_ to be good with computers," R corrected. "But since I somehow managed to get this stupid virus, I've forgotten how to do anything." She slowly rubbed her head again.

"You alright?" Namine asked.

"No. I have a virus eating away at me and I'm dying a very slow and painful death," R replied. "To top it off, my head hurts like you would not believe!"

Namine chuckled slightly. "Actually, I might have a pretty decent idea."

"Wha-?" R stared at her, confused, and then realization flashed through her eyes. "Oh yeah. Those memory meltdowns of yours, huh?" R suddenly looked very thoughtful. "I might be able to fix those…"

Namine's eyes widened in shock. "What?" she asked, voice squeaking with something between hope and confusion.

R clapped a hand over her mouth. "I didn't say that," she said, quickly, voice muffled.

Namine continued to stare. Her mind was reeling. Could this _Larxene _Replica sitting in front of her seriously know how to stop her meltdowns? Given the fact that said Larxene Replica was good with computers, it seemed entirely possible.

"C-could you really?" she stuttered.

R slowly moved her hand away from her mouth. "Provided it was something in your data—a slip in the Coding—theoretically, yes, I could. But I'd need to look at your Coding, and it might take me a while to figure out what's wrong, and even _longer_ to figure out if there's a way to fix it." She shook her head. "I don't have very long. And even if I did, I _can't read Code. _I'm sorry, Namine, but I'm no use to you."

Namine nodded, slowly. She couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed—though it was her own fault for getting her hopes up—and it was hard to not show her disappointment. She swallowed once, twice, trying to get her throat to work. "I… I understand," she managed to make herself say.

"Sorry," R said again. "I really am. If I could help I—"

Someone knocked on the door. "Namine?"

Her heart leapt in her chest, only to come to a sickening halt mere seconds later. Riku. Riku could not find out that she'd spent the past while talking to R. She was silently glad that he had at least bothered to use the door.

"One second!" she called, and then turned to R and hissed: "What are we going to do? He can't know you've been sitting here!"

R stood up. "We could always make it look like I'm in the middle of trying to kidnap you," she suggested, voice quiet.

Namine frowned. "I just told Riku to wait, that doesn't make—"

"Right. Uhm…" R thought for a moment. "Go ahead and tell him to come in. I got it."

"Namine?" Riku called.

She turned to the door, bit her lip, then turned back to R. "You could still go," she whispered.

R rolled her eyes. "I already told you: I'm going to die no matter what. I might as well make it today."

Namine sighed. "Alright, come in!"

Riku pushed the door open. R formed a dark corridor around herself and reappeared about two feet to the left just as he came in, making it look like she had just arrived. Registering the sound, Riku turned and had his blade out the moment he saw her. Playing along with the act, Namine gasped in shock and pretended that R's appearance was a complete surprise. Not that it really mattered, or anything, because Riku's attention was on R, and not on her.

"Oh poop!" R said, sighing dramatically. "Riku's here already? Ah, I shouldn't have slacked off. But, _no!_ I thought 'there's time! I can still make it!'"

"What are you doing here?" Riku asked, voice tense.

"What do you think I'm here for, dummy?" R replied. "I'm here to kidnap Namine."

"Not on my watch."

R laughed—that stupid bone chilling laugh that still sent a shudder down Namine's spine, despite that she knew R didn't mean any harm. She had to admit, though, R was pulling off this act rather well.

"Aw, how cute," R taunted. "You're still trying to protect her, even though it won't do you any good!"

"Wanna bet?" Riku growled, preparing to launch himself at her. Namine caught him by the arm, holding him back.

"No, Riku, wait!" she said, quickly. She couldn't let him do this. For some reason, she didn't want R to die, not this way. She wasn't sure why, but… she couldn't let it happen. She just couldn't.

"Why?" Riku asked, sounding impatient.

"Really?" R groaned. "Do you have to go and ruin the plan?"

Riku slowly frowned. "What plan?" he asked, turning to Namine, confused. Namine couldn't find the words to reply.

"I didn't come here to kidnap Namine," R said. "I came here so you'd kill me."

Riku glanced at her, then back at Namine. "I don't have much of a problem with that… why do you?" This last part was directed at Namine.

"She might know how to stop my meltdowns!" Namine blurted.

Riku raised his eyebrows, and turned to R again. "_You?_"

"What?" she asked. "Just because I'm a Larxene Replica doesn't mean I can't be good with computers."

"So you're serious," Riku said, and then laughed. "Okay, fine." There was a touch of humor in his voice. "What can you do to help?"

"Well, I-" R paused, and glared at Namine. "Wait a minute. I _can't_ help, because I can't read Code! We discussed this!"

"She said that if my meltdowns were caused by something in my data, she might be able to figure out how to fix it," Namine said, ignoring R.

"But I can't read Code!" R repeated, frustrated. "And if I can't read Code, I can't figure out what's wrong, and if I don't know what's wrong I can't figure out how to fix it. So, _no,_ I can't help you."

Riku was silent for a moment, thinking. "What if you worked with someone who _could_ read Code?"

R let out an annoyed breath. "I suppose, yes, then I could. But there's a million things that could go wrong with this, and no guarantee I'll be able to figure anything out."

"But there's a possibility…" Riku muttered.

"She can't control lightning," Namine added.

R stared. "You just want to ruin my life, don't you?" she demanded, as Riku grinned. Namine shrugged.

"Look, if you help us, maybe we can help you," she said.

"I don't _want_ help!"

"I don't see anything wrong with letting you try and work something out," Riku declared, apparently oblivious to their exchange. "Just as long as you don't cause trouble, of course."

"What are you gonna do? Threaten to kill me? I _want_ to die, remember?"

Riku just smiled. "Then I'll threaten to keep you alive." He turned around and started off. "C'mon then, we'll go talk to Alpha or someone about this."

Namine slowly glanced at R. She was shaking, her eyes wide with anger.

"Sorry about this…" Namine muttered, casting her gaze away.

"I just wanted to die," R said. "Why, all of a sudden, do you deny me that? Are you that desperate to get your meltdowns to stop? If you are, there are plenty other people who could do the very thing I will be doing."

"I just…" Namine swallowed. "I didn't want… Riku's ruthless. And if he killed you—"

"It would be quick," R finished. "That's all I want. A quick death."

Riku poked his head back around the corner. "Hurry up! I'm not entirely comfortable with letting you out of my sight!"

R started walking, Namine following not long after her.


	136. AngeRing the Beast

Okay, uhm... not sure what to say about this chapter

If you've been on my blog, you'll have noticed I'm planning to do a Christmas-themed special (ish) chapter near Christmas. I'd like it to be posted on Christmas day itself or the day after, but it depends just how soon my beta gets back to me with the next chapter. Though, given that is the last chapter of the sequence, it has the potential to go well

Hope I didn't just jinx myself

enjoy the chapter!

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><p>They passed few people on their way to the Main Room (they were heading there in hopes of locating Alpha, or anyone else who might know Code). Said few people they passed were satisfied with the explanation that R might be able to help them and couldn't do much harm since she lacked the ability to summon lightning. They all seemed very wary of her, though. Namine assumed that this was because R was a Larxene Replica. However, it seemed that there was more to it than that, which she discovered when they passed 7 and 19.<p>

"Is that 7?" R asked, sounding surprised.

7 glanced up, and as soon as he saw R he blanched. "19," he said, voice suggesting he was holding back panic. "Go tell Alpha to run protocol Beta6, and be prepared with the RVE."

19 nodded, also casting a wary glance at R, before heading off.

R rolled her eyes. "I didn't bring anything with me."

"Mmhmm," 7 didn't seem convinced. "Last time I trusted you we ended up with an outbreak of the-"

"The 6 virus, I know, I know." R sighed. "In my defense, I was one of the first who caught that stupid thing, so I wasn't thinking clearly at the time."

"I'm not taking any chances," 7 told her.

"But what are you going to do if I've brought a new virus with me, hmm?" R asked, smiling. "You can't cure a virus that doesn't have a cure yet."

7 grimaced. "Please stop talking. You're making me very nervous. I don't think I could deal with another outbreak; not if I only have half the Program to work with."

R started to say something, but Riku interrupted her:

"You two know each other?"

"I caused him some trouble a while back with one of the viruses I wrote," R explained. "Which, in case you missed it, I write viruses specifically tailored to Replicas."

"_Some_ trouble?" 7 snorted. "It took me three months to figure out how to cure the 6 virus! Not to mention some of the _other_ viruses she's come up with." He let out a breath and shook his head. "What is she even _doing_ here?"

"I came here to get myself killed," R said. "I figured that since Riku's going to kill me eventually, I might as well make it today! But then I mentioned that I might be able to fix Namine's meltdowns and they've insisted I help them."

"Riku agreed to let you help him?" 7 sounded surprised.

"She can't form lightning," Riku said. "And without that, I think I can put up with her just being a nuisance."

7 raised his eyebrows. "You can't form lightning?"

R shifted slightly. "I… might've… accidentally edited that ability out of my data," she said.

Namine frowned. "I thought-"

"Shh."

Namine closed her mouth. If R really wanted to keep the truth about why she couldn't form lightning hidden, then fine. Namine wasn't going to tell. Besides, now that she thought about it, R was probably doing it to keep 7 from freaking out.

7 laughed, but quickly tried to cover it, and turned away so that they wouldn't see his smile.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"Of course not!" 7 quickly composed himself. "Though, why do you want to get yourself killed? That seems oddly uncharacteristic of you… I'd expect you to write some virus that'd render Riku incapable of fighting or something."

"I'm not compatible with your Program, remember?" Riku said.

"He's not," R admitted. "If he was, he'd be dead, because I've already tried to kill him."

"Flattered," Riku sighed. "Now c'mon, we were heading somewhere, weren't we?"

"I don't think we need to go any further, actually," R said.

Riku frowned at her. Namine, though, caught on to what she was hinting, and turned to 7.

"Can you read Code?" she asked.

"I'd be a pretty lousy Medic if I couldn't," 7 replied. "Why?"

"I can't read Code anymore," R said. "So they're trying to find someone to pair me up with who _can_, so that I can see if I can figure out if there's anything wrong with Namine's data that causes her meltdowns." She sighed.

7 suddenly looked very suspicious. "You can't read Code? Since when?"

"Since I…" R cleared her throat and looked off to the side. "Might've, accidentally, deleted _that_ ability from my data, too…"

7 stared a second more. "How did you…?" he began. A thoughtful expression crossed his face. "You know, it's funny," he said, though he didn't entirely sound amused. "It seems every virus you've written you've managed to catch."

"I know!" R exclaimed. "It's almost ridiculous. I really need to figure out a way to make myself immune; actually, I just need to get _around_ to making myself immune. I know what I need to do: I just have to write the viruses so that they don't affect a Replica with a certain Coding, and then make sure the Coding matches my own—ooh…" She reached up and rubbed her head. "It's a pity I didn't think of this two weeks ago…"

7's eyes went wide with shock. "You have infected yourself with another virus!" He took a few steps away from R.

"Relax!" she told him. "It's not contagious! How many times do I have to say you only make that mistake twice?" She frowned. "I mean once. I said once."

7 rolled his eyes. "The Demyx virus was contagious," he retorted.

R grinned. "But it wouldn't have been any fun if it wasn't!"

"What'd it do?" Namine asked.

"Caused everyone infected to randomly break into song and dance," 7 said, tersely.

R's grin widened with satisfaction, and she nodded. "Ah, it was one of the best!"

"Yes, and a pain to get rid of," 7 said. "It took me ages to figure out how to cure it. And it didn't help that I ended up getting infected too. Do you know how hard it is to work when you uncontrollably break into song every five minutes?"

Riku snorted.

"I don't know why you're complaining," R said. "You have an absolutely wonderful singing voice!"

7 frowned. "Yes, and if I remember correctly, you can't dance."

"What does that have to do with anything? And I just complimented you! And then you—"

"Can we get back to the point?" Riku asked.

"Yes," 7 said. "And that would be?"

"Do you mind working with R to see if there's anything in Namine's data that causes her meltdowns?"

"No, I don't mind," 7 replied.

"I do!" R protested. "You can figure it out on your own!"

"I'd love to agree with you," 7 said, smiling. "But I know what your mind is capable of. I'd very much appreciate your help."

R growled, frustrated. "You don't get it!" she practically shouted. "Thanks to this stupid virus I managed to infect myself with, I not only can't read Code, I hardly know how to use a computer! I am literally no help to you! Just because you can tell me what is wrong with Namine, does _not_ mean I'll actually understand what the problem is, and if I don't understand the problem, I definitely can't solve it!"

"She's got us there," 7 said, sighing. "But…" He pulled Riku aside. Despite the fact he spoke in a whisper, he could clearly be heard. "She has a brilliant mind, and would be a wonderful asset to our side. I have no problems with figuring out how to cure her; it will take me a while, but if you don't mind waiting…"

"Namine?" Riku turned to her. "You don't mind?"

"No," Namine said. She'd been dealing with the meltdowns for months now, what was a couple more?

"It's settled then," Riku said.

"No it's not," R protested. She was wincing and rubbing her head, looking like she was in pain. "Because you all seem to have mis-" The word slurred into a groan, and she sunk to her knees, clutching her head tighter. "Had… to happen… now…"

"Are you okay?" Namine asked, shocked.

R didn't respond.

"R?" 7 sounded genuinely worried.

She held up her hand, telling them to wait a second.

Riku hadn't done anything more than fold his arms over his chest. Namine bit her lip, noticing that he was smiling slightly.

"Okay…" R said slowly. "Ow." She staggered to her feet, and made a face. "Hang on, this would be much more intimidating if I could see. Give it a second. My vision… should return…" She grimaced, then blinked a few times. "There we go! What was I saying?"

"Something about-" Namine began.

"Right," R said, not giving Namine a chance to finish. "I was saying that you've all somehow _missed_ the fact that I am actually incapable of doing anything—"

"That's why I was going to try and figure out a cure," 7 interrupted. He spoke slowly, as if to make sure he was understood.

R just shook her head. "No. That's not going to solve this problem. I don't want to sit around and wait for you to come up with a cure while I slowly die. I just want this to be over already. Is it really so hard to just kill me?"

Riku shrugged. "Sorry," he said. "But you might be what cures Namine's meltdowns. I'm not risking it."

"7 can figure it out!" R shouted, clearly frustrated. "He doesn't need me! He's cured every virus I've written; if there's something in Namine's data that's causing her meltdowns, I have no doubt he can fix it."

"And yet you doubt that I can cure whatever virus it is that you have?" 7 asked.

"You don't understand." R was close to hysterics, now. "You don't- it _hurts_, okay? This virus, whatever it's doing to me—I don't even remember anymore—it _hurts._ I don't- I don't want…"

"R," 7 said, calmly. "It's alright. Listen, I'll get started on figuring out a cure right now-"

"No." R grabbed Namine by the arm, pulling her to her. Namine gasped in shock, and tried to pull her arm away. R's hold was strong, though. "I'm sorry," R said. "But you've left me with no other choice."

"Now, R," 7 said.

"What are you doing!?" Riku looked horrified.

"A quick death," R replied. "That's all I wanted. Are you going to grant me that, or am I going to have to do something drastic?"

"Please…" Namine said, slowly. "It doesn't have to come to this. Riku—"

"Just let her go," Riku said. "Let her go and we can work this out."

"No." R shook her head. "I'm not doing this. I can't-" She stopped, and sighed. "I'm sorry, Namine. Really sorry about this…" She summoned a knife to her, and hesitated only a second before running the knife down Namine's arm, slicing it open.

Namine tried to hold back the cry of pain from leaving her lips, but it really was no use. Tears were blurring her vision, and she wrenched her arm away from R. The pain was nothing like she'd ever felt—but she'd never properly been in pain before. Meltdowns were really nothing more than severe headaches, and all the pain that she felt during them was just in her head. This—

Riku screamed in rage, and he threw himself at R, who seemed to sigh with relief.

Namine cried out in pain again, cradling her arm close to her, not sure if she should try and put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, or…

She could still hear Riku shouting behind her, and was suddenly worried. R wasn't dead yet. She obviously wasn't or Riku wouldn't still be screaming. Something must be wrong. Dread filling her, Namine looked up and tried to focus on Riku. The pain made it a bit hard, but she didn't have any trouble seeing Riku throw R across the hall and into the Main Room (which they weren't that far from). R didn't appear to be fighting back, but Riku hadn't summoned his blade. He was attacking her with his bare hands and darkness alone.

Namine quickly caught him before he could launch himself at R again, ignoring the pain in her arm as best as she could as she did so. Riku had already donned dark mode, and he did not look happy.

"Riku, please," she said, but he ignored her and pushed her away. He was gentle as he pushed her away, but it still surprised her. She tried to catch him again, but was stopped by 7.

"You're hurt," 7 said, firmly.

"But Riku—" Her voice caught in her throat and her heart nearly stopped when Riku turned to her. The look on his face was anger, but the look in his eyes was almost dazed, like this was purely habitual, or something that he had been Programmed to do and had no choice but to do so. His body was practically radiating darkness. He turned away and went after R again.

Stunned, Namine let 7 pull her back and sit her down. He forced an elixir into her hands.

"Drink," he said.

Obediently, Namine did so. The pain stopped immediately, and she thought the bleeding did, too, but she wasn't entirely paying attention. Her thoughts were still on Riku. Even though she could not see into the Main Room from her position, she could still hear his angry shouts, and she could hear the sound darkness made when it impacted with something. She could feel the darkness prickling on her skin, too.

Something definitely wasn't right.

"Did you… see him?" she said, slowly. "He…"

And she was on her feet again, knowing that if she didn't stop him now, the darkness that had manifested itself in him was going to cause a lot of trouble. Somehow, she knew what was running through Riku's head. She knew, without a doubt, that he was only acting this way because she had been hurt. The anger he must be feeling was unimaginable. She understood it perfectly.

But, along with his anger, she understood that that stupid darkness in him had latched onto that anger, and was feeding it, making it stronger. Making it so the urge to attack R had turned into an obsession, something that wouldn't stop until she was dead.

Which would be fine and all, if only he'd kill her already and not just throw darkness blindly at her.

Namine shook her head to clear that thought from her head. All she needed to do was get Riku's attention and show him that she was fine. That there was really no harm done. Once he saw that she was okay, he'd calm down, wouldn't he?

It was easier said than done.

All the darkness that Riku was throwing made it impossible to get close to him. Whoever had been in the Main Room was now gone. They'd probably all fled. Namine didn't blame them. The only reason why she hadn't left was because she knew she needed to stop Riku.

"A quick death!" R shouted, angrily, throwing a knife at Riku. It missed. The darkness he threw at her didn't. She stumbled, but the darkness hardly slowed her down. He wasn't throwing enough to kill her on the spot. "Your blade shoved through my gut! This isn't what I wanted!"

Riku didn't hear her. He moved the couch that was in his way with a blast of darkness (that sent the couch flying) and threw more darkness at R.

"Riku!" Namine called. "Please, stop!"

But he didn't hear her, either. He'd lost himself to his anger. Namine found it hard to watch. In fact, she _couldn't_ watch it. Seeing him like this—

She couldn't. It scared her too much.

She ducked behind the corner, leaning against the wall, wishing that she couldn't hear what was going on, wishing that the burning on her skin and in her mind would stop. But Riku only continued to scream in anger, and she didn't have to be looking to know that he hadn't stopped throwing darkness.

"Are you alright?" 7 asked.

Namine just shook her head. "He- he won't stop," she said, voice choked. "It's like he can't even hear me."

And she wasn't sure which scared her more. The fact that they couldn't stop him, or the fact that he couldn't hear her.


	137. Taming the Beast

I've become posting buddies with soraslover982, author of KHfic "Infallibility" (which is their take on Days, and a nice story. You should check it out if you have time). Lol, yeah, we each posted a chapter two days ago, and then on their chapter today they said it was a shame we wouldn't be "posting neighbors" anymore, so I was like "you want me to post a chapter today?" and they were like "yeah! we can be posting buddies!" And that's how that happened.

But, y'know, I was planning on posting this chapter either today or tomorrow, so I guess it doesn't matter

On another note, this is sort of a scene requested by Organization Number 15. I think I butchered their request, though (and R totally stole the spotlight in the middle, sorry about that). Uhm... yeah... hope you enjoy it anyway!

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><p>Only one thing was clear in Riku's mind, as he shot a blast of darkness at the table that R was cowering behind. The table snapped in half, and he prepared another blast of darkness to throw.<p>

R had hurt Namine.

Badly.

And _no one_ hurt Namine.

Especially not if he was there to do something about it.

And yet, somehow, he felt as if his body was moving without him telling it to. His brain was kind of foggy, too. Besides the clear thought that he was going to make R suffer, nothing else seemed to be clicking. When the cry of rage left his lips, it didn't feel right. And when the darkness he threw hit R and she screamed, it still didn't feel quite right.

_"Riku! Please, stop!"_

Namine's words rang in his ears.

And yet he could not understand them. He knew that he should stop, but he could not make himself do so. All he could make himself do was pull more darkness to him to throw.

There was a growing pain in his chest.

But his rage made that hard to notice, too.

It was blurred.

Just like everything else.

All, except R, of course. R, and his anger. And the thought that she needed to suffer.

"Riku!" Namine was screaming at him again. "Stop! _Please!_"

She was begging him, sounding close to tears.

He knew he should stop.

But he could only raise his hand to throw the darkness he held.

"_I said stop!_"

His heart came to a halt in his chest. He suddenly couldn't breathe. His thoughts were blurred at just the memory, and he crumpled to his knees.

"Can't you hear me?" Namine continued, but those were words he did not hear.

There was a ringing in his ears. A whine, really, blocking everything else out, and he couldn't see the world right. Everything was too bright. The white walls blurring together, making everything else—

Why did he hurt so much?

_Namine said… stop. So I should… stop._

He knew that. He couldn't kill Sora—no, _R. _Not this way. This was too cruel. He needed to stop. He needed to—

But he couldn't get the image of the blood out of his mind. The image of blood on Namine's arm. Her scream still rang in his ears. He could not forget the look of pain on her face and the _blood. _

No one hurt Namine.

And he was on his feet again, darkness burning at his fingertips, ready to be used. R had gotten out of his immediate reach while he had been distracted, but it was no matter.

The dark clouds had settled into his mind again, blurring all his thoughts but one.

XXX

It really was no use.

Even if she had managed to make Riku stop for just a second, he kept going.

Namine groaned in frustration, not sure what to do. She wanted to run to Riku, throw her arms around him, because maybe then he would stop. But she couldn't get anywhere near him. There was too much darkness in the air.

On the bright side, though, R seemed to be faring well. She was putting up a decent fight, though her reactions were slow and her movement clumsy. The virus that ran through her had obviously taken its toll on her ability to fight, too.

Now if only Namine could get Riku to stop attacking, and they could settle this.

But how?

Shouting at him did no good…

"This isn't what I wanted!" R was shouting. "I- I just wanted—agh. I- my head…" Her shouts quickly turned into moans. "Why- why can't I…?" A blast of darkness caught her and threw her back. She hit the wall next to Namine, and fell to the ground.

"R?" Namine asked, tentatively.

R slowly pushed herself up. "A quick death…" she croaked, leaning against the wall for support. She shook her head, and then closed her hand into a fist as if to summon her knives. None came. She looked down at her empty hand, and sighed. "That was going to happen… eventually…"

"I can't watch this," 7 said, rather suddenly. "We need to stop him."

The good news was that Riku was on the other side of the room. They had a bit more time before he got any closer to R.

"Namine, distract him," 7 said. "I'll see if I can get R out of here."

"Distract him? Distract him _how?!_"

"Here," R said. She made to throw something at Riku, but nothing formed. She laughed nervously. "Oh. Forgot… Can't… do that anymore…"

7 closed his eyes for a brief second. "Just, talk to him," he told Namine. "Maybe you can slow him down."

"But-"

"Try!"

7's voice was so fierce that Namine didn't think to question him again.

"Riku!" she called. "Please, listen! I'm not hurt! I'm fine now! Please, you need to stop! I'm alright!"

It wasn't working.

She turned to 7, hopeless. 7 wasn't looking at her. He trying to get R to come to him, away from all the darkness, away from Riku, but she collapsed, clutching her head again. Not even hesitating, 7 rushed to her side.

Namine shook her head.

"Riku!" she tried again. "I'm not hurt. I drank an elixir. I'm okay! Riku, please!"

He didn't listen. He only threw another blast of darkness at R. It hit her, grazing past 7 as it did so.

R cried out in pain. 7 screamed in fury.

Before Namine could blink, a large block of ice hit Riku in the chest and threw him back. The air around her was suddenly very cold. 7 was on his feet and he did _not_ look happy.

"No more!" he said. His voice held a terrible force. Namine took a step backward, and was surprised when her foot slipped slightly. The ground all around them was frosted with ice.

Riku tried to stand up, and (to Namine's amazement) the ice on the ground rapidly made its way towards him, creeping up his legs and freezing him to the ground. His hands, which were still on the ground after bracing himself from the fall, were frozen, too.

"Don't," 7 warned, when Riku tried to struggle. "I don't want you, or your _blasted_ darkness anywhere near her!"

Riku only glared.

"If… I had known that… this was going to happen…" R said. She sounded out of breath, but she was on her feet again. She slowly leaned against the wall for support.

"Are you alright?" 7 asked, turning to her.

She didn't answer.

Namine glanced at Riku, and then turned to 7. "Why didn't you do that sooner?"

"I was respecting R's wish to die," 7 said, slowly. "I only stepped in to stop Riku when I realized that things weren't going the way they were supposed to. That this wasn't the quick death R wanted." He was shaking, Namine realized. This really upset him. "She isn't even dying!"

"Actually…" R's voice was quiet. "I am dying. Been dying… since I got here… That's what the virus was written to do… I wanted to die before it could… finish me off…"

7 stared at her. "How… how much longer do you have?"

"A few months still, I think," she replied. She didn't sound very positive. "I don't know, though… It was supposed to take months to kill me… But I feel-" She let out a breath. "I've never… died before, but—I think I'd describe what I'm feeling right now as dying…"

"Listen, R, I can still-"

She held up a hand, stopping him. "Hang on. I feel…" She was silent for a moment. "Odd. I feel like… I don't know." She slowly reached out, and after a second, she laughed, nervously. "That… that can't be good."

She let her hand fall to her side, and then laughed again. Namine couldn't help but think that the laugh was a little… crazy. Like R was slipping.

"This- that can't be right." R sounded a bit frantic. "This was- it shouldn't be happening this fast! It shouldn't…" She paused, taking a few breaths. "Wrong. Something's… wrong. It shouldn't… It…"

"R, it's alright," 7 said, calmly. "I can still cure you. There's no need to panic. You'll be—"

R shook her head, smiling slightly. "I- I lost the ability to form dark corridors… that… that's the last thing to go. I've- I've maybe got a couple weeks left. Two, I think. Maybe less." She shrugged, helplessly. "I forget."

"I can figure something out," 7 assured her. "Remember? You said I could cure any virus you've written."

She was silent for a long while. "I did…" she said, slowly. "But… there's no time. Not enough time. You don't even… do you even know how to- to cure it?"

"I'll figure something out."

"She told me, not long ago," Namine said, drawing their attention to her. "R. She said that you'd need something that would… that'd refill the data, since the virus eats it away. But you'd have to keep it open-ended, or something, so that you could attach whosever file you needed to it."

7 groaned. "Open-ended? That'll be a pain to—wait. No. I just need to write it to match R's file." He grinned at Namine. "She's the only one who needs-"

A blast of darkness hit R all of a sudden, and she screamed.

Horrified, Namine turned to see Riku on his feet, heading towards them. The ice that had restrained him had melted. He didn't look happy, and he was summoning more darkness to his fingertips.

"You…" he said, slowly. The tone of his voice made Namine's blood run cold. She suddenly wondered why she hadn't gone running to him the moment he was restrained. She should've. She should've calmed him down, then.

It would've, at least, saved her the horror of seeing him as he was now. His face was marred by a furious snarl, his eyes filled with a terrible rage and coldness. He looked ready to kill, but the cruelty in his voice when he spoke suggested he wasn't intending to be quick about it.

"You…" he repeated, pouring more darkness into what he held in his hands. Namine could feel the energy prickling on her skin, even though Riku was well away from her. "You are going to pay."

It was much easier to watch him when he was just mindlessly throwing darkness. Seeing this terrible cruelty was much, much worse.

Riku slowly raised his hand, preparing to throw the darkness he held.

"No!" Namine screamed, and before she really realized what she was doing, she was throwing herself at him, throwing her arms around him, tackling him to the ground.

"Namine!" The cruelty had left his voice, but the edge hadn't. He tried to push himself up, but she held him down.

"Don't you see what you're doing?" she asked. There was some emotion in her chest that was struggling to break free from her. "You just… you…" She didn't know what to say.

"Get _off_ me!" Riku cried, trying to push himself up again. It took a lot more effort to keep him on the ground this time.

"This… this isn't you," Namine continued. "This isn't… just stop. _Please._ I don't like seeing you like this. It scares me."

"I-"

"No. Don't." She buried her face in his chest. "Please, Riku. Stop."

Riku didn't say anything else. His whole body was shaking, and his breathing heavy.

"Please," Namine whispered, voice cracking. "Don't ever scare me like that again."

Riku stopped struggling, and let her hold him. The clouds in his mind were clearing. The darkness, the rage—

_"What a wonderful monster you make! You get angry and lash out—without thinking!"_

He didn't recognize the voice, but it was cruel and it was laughing and _it was right_. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the destruction around him. He knew what he had done. He'd lost himself to his anger, but the darkness rushing through him—no. He wouldn't let himself think about it.

Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Namine, holding her close to him. With her in his arms, the rest of the world faded from around him. He didn't have to think about it.

"Riku?"

Namine's voice. She sounded worried. He felt bad.

"Yeah?"

"Please don't ever do that again."

"Of course."

But something inside him was crying out in defiance. The darkness rushing through him didn't want to let go. He opened his eyes, wanting to see Namine's face, wanting to ground himself. The position he was laying in didn't allow for that, though. All he could see was burns of darkness on the pure white walls, even the ceiling, like splotches of black ink on paper. A picture marred. The remains of a table—broken in his own anger—lay not far from him, he could see a few overturned chairs out of the corner of his eye, and though he could not see it, he knew there was a couch out of place somewhere, along with some other furniture.

He shuddered and quickly shut his eyes. But that didn't stop the images from rushing through his head. R crumpled on the ground, her image blurred by the darkness he wielded. 7 furious. Namine _frightened._

Namine—

If it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have stopped.

If it hadn't been for her, he might've gone farther.

If she hadn't stopped him, he would've eventually killed R—slowly and painfully—and he might've killed 7, too. If he had killed 7, he doubted he would've been kind about it, either.

Riku took a deep breath.

Namine saved him.

She tamed the monster inside of him.

The monster that was so eager to lash out, and didn't stop until it had gotten what it wanted. It disgusted him to know that such a monster lived inside of him. Disgusted him to know that _he _was a monster like that—

"You are not a monster_,"_ Namine's voice. She'd told him this before. But it wasn't a memory he was hearing. She was speaking to him. "Don't you ever think that you are a monster. You just lost control. It happens to all of us."

But he never wanted to lose control like that again.

"Don't- don't let me—" He didn't get to finish his sentence.

"I won't," Namine assured him, somehow knowing what he was trying to say before he could say it.

She wasn't sure _how_ she knew what Riku was thinking, but she did. She'd heard him compare himself to a monster, even if he'd only made the comparison in his head. She couldn't let him think of himself that way, so she spoke up.

_"Can she really keep me from losing control?"_

She heard Riku think that, too, clear as if he had spoken aloud. She didn't reply to it, though, even if she desperately wanted to. Instead, she just thought _Of course I can_ and hoped that he heard her like she could somehow hear him.

"Is he alright?"

Namine glanced up. 7 was standing there.

"Yes, I- I think he is," she said.

"Just a bit…" Riku began, but sighed and didn't finish the sentence.

Namine waited for a moment before asking:

"Where's… R?"

7 glanced away. "Gone." His voice was tight.

She swallowed. "Did Riku-"

7 quickly shook his head. "No. It was… It was the virus that killed her. It just killed her much quicker than she expected it to."

"Oh." Namine wasn't sure what to say. "I- Are you—"

"I'm fine," 7 interrupted. "I just… It's never been easy for me to watch people die. Comes with being a Medic, I guess."

The look in his eyes told Namine a different story.

"Namine?" Riku asked.

"Yeah?"

"As much as I'd love to stay here," he said. "Can I please get up?"

"No," Namine told him, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. "You have to stay there forever."

7 laughed slightly. Riku sighed.

"Alright…"

Namine laughed now. "I'm joking!" She moved so that Riku could get up. He pushed himself up, and then to his feet. Namine got to her feet, too, not wanting to be the only one still on the ground.

Riku glanced around the room, quickly, and then let out a long breath. "What are we going to do?"

"We Reset the room," 7 said, simply, like it were the most obvious thing in the Worlds. "That'll restore it to what it originally looked like." He frowned, then. "It's what we've done after the more devastating raids..."

"Oh." Riku made a face. "Not sure how I missed that…"

Namine shrugged. She'd missed it, too. (But, she spent most of her time during the raids in her room, out of harm's way.)

"I'll go tell Alpha," 7 said, starting off. "You'll need to be out of the room, though."

Riku nodded. After a second, he grabbed Namine's arm and examined it. She laughed.

"I already said I'm fine!" She pulled her arm away from him. "7 had an elixir on hand."

"Just wanted to make sure," Riku said. "You scared me." He pulled her into a hug.

She hugged him back. "Not as much as you scared me," she whispered.

"Sorry about that…"

"Sorry I didn't stop you sooner…"

"No," Riku said, firmly. He pulled away from her, and took her face in his hands. "You stopped me. That's all that matters. And thank you."

She smiled. "C'mon, we need to get out of here, yeah?"

"Yeah."


	138. tRying

AGh, I'm really tired and can't think of anything important to say

so

music suggestion: "Saddness" from the Paper Mario: the Thousand Year Door soundtrack

and, yeah, this is the previous chapter from a different POV. You should expect this sort of thing from me by now

**Update Feb 2014: **there are two ASAS chapters that go along with this sequence - ch36 has background information, and ch37 is extra content. You should definitely read this chapter first before reading those chapters, however.

* * *

><p>He respected R's wish to die. He really did. That's why when she harmed Namine and incurred Riku's wrath, 7 did his best to turn a blind eye. It was easier said than done, as he'd never handled death well, but so long as it was quick...<p>

It wasn't turning out to be very quick. As the seconds wore on, it became harder and harder for him to ignore what was happening. Riku's screams of anger were easy to ignore. He heard those frequently. Namine's shouts of desperation as she tried to calm Riku down were harder to ignore, but he managed. R's cries of pain—

He couldn't do this.

He was about to do something to stop Riku when R was thrown across the room and hit the wall just to his left. R slumped to the ground. 7 had already taken a few steps toward her before he stopped himself.

"R?" Namine asked from behind him.

R pushed herself to her feet, leaning against the wall to keep herself up. "A quick death…" she mumbled, feebly. 7 cringed. R shook her head, though, resigning herself to the inevitable, and made to summon her knives to her. The knives didn't come.

7 couldn't help but think this was odd. Of course it was odd. She'd been using her knives only seconds ago, why could she suddenly not call them to her? Then he remembered her mentioning she'd lost the ability to summon lightning. It was probably the work of the virus she had infected herself with. It was stripping her of her abilities.

But there was still a chance to cure her.

"I can't watch this," he told Namine. "We need to stop him." Riku was on the other side of the room, so it would be a bit before he was close enough to harm R anymore. Hopefully that would be enough time. "Namine, distract him. I'll see if I can get R out of here."

"Distract him?" Namine asked, flustered. "Distract him _how?!_"

"Here," R said. She made to throw what was probably a bolt of lightning at Riku, but no lightning came, as she had lost that ability. She seemed confused for a second, but then laughed, nervously. "Oh. Forgot… Can't… do that anymore…"

7 closed his eyes. How bad was this virus that it caused her to forget things, too? From the sounds of things, it would be a lot harder to cure than he originally thought. He took a deep breath, and then told Namine: "Just talk to him. Maybe you can slow him down."

"But-" Namine began.

"_Try_!"

He felt bad for raising his voice, but he really wasn't in the mood to deal with Namine's protests. He had to get R out of here. "R," he said, moving towards her to help her.

"No." She stopped him. "I can walk."

She took a few steps forward, only to stumble. She gasped and clutched her head, wincing, before she collapsed. He rushed to her side.

"Give me… a second…" R mumbled. "I'll be fine…"

But she didn't get a second. A blast of darkness came from nowhere and hit her square in the gut. She cried out in pain.

His self-control slipping, 7 rose to his feet, summoning an icicle to him as he did so. He thought he might've screamed something, but he only really registered that he threw the icicle at Riku and knocked Riku back. Before he could get back up again and cause any more harm, 7 sent his ice out and froze Riku to the ground, keeping him bound for the moment.

Though bound, Riku still struggled.

"Don't," 7 warned. His voice was shaking. "I don't want you, or your _blasted_ darkness anywhere near her!"

He needed to calm down. Yelling like this wasn't going to get him anywhere. Now that Riku was restrained, he needed to—

"If… I had known that… this was going to happen…" R's voice interrupted his thoughts. She sounded out of breath. He turned to her, and found that she was on her feet. Good. If only she didn't look like such a wreck…

What was this virus doing to her?

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She didn't answer.

"Why didn't you do that sooner?" Namine asked.

7 glanced over at her, a bit confused. Then he noticed that Namine was looking at Riku. Right. "I was respecting R's wish to die," he explained. "I only stepped in to stop Riku when I realized that things weren't going the way they were supposed to." He found it a struggle to keep his voice calm as he spoke. "That this wasn't the quick death R wanted. She isn't even dying!"

"Actually…" R's voice was quiet. "I am dying. Been dying… since I got here…" It seemed to be a struggle for her to speak. "That's what the virus was written to do… I wanted to die before it could… finish me off…"

His heart plummeted. But that explained a lot. "How… how much longer do you have?"

"A few months still, I think." She didn't sound positive about that. Given all the other problems she'd been having, recently, he wasn't that surprised. "I don't know, though… It was supposed to take months to kill me…" She made a face. "But I feel— I've never… died before, but—I think I'd describe what I'm feeling right now as dying."

7 swallowed, trying to get rid of the tight feeling in his chest. He really couldn't get so worked up over this. Besides, there was still a chance to cure her. Hopefully.

"Listen, R," he said. "I can still—"

She held up a hand, stopping him there. "Hang on. I feel…" She was silent for a moment. Either she was trying to place the right word or… he didn't want to think about the other option. "Odd. I feel like… I don't know." She slowly reached out, an action 7 recognized as the one most made when forming a dark corridor. No dark corridor came, though.

But why was she trying to form a dark corridor now? It seemed like an awfully strange time to do so. Then again, since she'd been expecting to lose her knives, maybe she was expecting to lose this ability, too. 7 suddenly dreaded what the loss of the ability to form dark corridors meant.

R laughed, nervously. "That… that can't be good." She let her hand fall to her side, and then laughed again, which was an odd contrast to the dread in her voice, and the franticness with which she spoke. "This- that can't be right. This was- it shouldn't be happening this fast!"

Correction, she wasn't just frantic, she was panicked.

The dread in his chest grew.

"It shouldn't…" R continued, only to pause and take a few breaths. "Wrong. Something's… wrong. It shouldn't… It…"

"R, it's alright," 7 said, trying to push his feelings aside and replace them with calmness. It was never good deal with a panicked patient when one was panicked themselves. "There's no need to panic. You'll be—"

R shook her head, smiling slightly. "I- I lost the ability to form dark corridors… that… that's the last thing to go. I've- I've got maybe a couple weeks left. Two, I think. Maybe less…" She shrugged, helplessly. "I forget."

"I can figure something out," 7 assured her. He'd always been able to figure something out. A time limit didn't make much of a difference… Well, he tried not to think about the time limit too much. "Remember?" He smiled at her again. "You said I could cure any virus you've written."

She was silent for a long while. He chose to believe that she was mulling over what he had said. "I did…" she said, finally, slowly. "But… there's no time. Not enough time. You don't even… do you even know how to- to cure it?"

"I'll figure something out," he repeated.

Namine suddenly cleared her throat, startling him slightly. "She told me, not long ago. R. She said you'd need something that would… that'd refill the data, since the virus eats it away." Namine didn't sound very sure about what she was saying. He turned to her, though, understanding perfectly what she was telling him. "But you'd have to keep it open-ended, or something, so that you could attach whosever file you needed to it."

7 groaned. He hated writing open-ended cures. "Open-ended? That'll be a pain to—" He stopped, something occurring to him. "Wait. No." A smile was creeping its way onto his face. "I just need to write it to match R's file. She's the only one who needs—"

The sound of R's scream—the sound of his heart breaking—interrupted him. He turned, finding R on the ground, writhing as darkness coursed through her. But when had she been hit? Riku was restrained, wasn't he?

"You…"

Riku's voice. Closer than it should've been if he was still restrained. 7 turned, slowly, and sure enough, Riku was on his feet. But when had the ice that restrained him melted? 7 shook that thought from his mind, and prepared another icicle to throw at Riku.

R cried out again, stealing his attention. He paused only a second before discarding the icicle and going to her. He kept his distance, though, resisting the urge to help her to her feet. She'd want to compose herself. It was a trait all Larxene Replicas shared.

"It hurts!" she screamed. She didn't appear to be making any attempt to compose herself. "Make it stop! Please, make it—I just wanted to die! I didn't want… I didn't…"

"Shh," 7 said, quietly. It was getting harder to resist the urge to help her. "You'll be okay."

There was still time. They just needed to get started on curing this virus soon. Well, _he_ needed to get started.

The sound of something hitting the floor distracted him for a moment. He turned to see what it was, and found that Namine had tackled Riku to the ground. Unsure of how he felt about that, besides grateful that Riku was now out of the way, he turned back to R. She was closer to him, now, like she had tried to get up only to collapse again.

"I…" She began, and then shuddered all over. Despite the nagging something in him telling him that he probably shouldn't, 7 slowly picked her up and cradled her to him. Surprisingly, she didn't protest. "I just wanted…" she said, slowly.

"It's alright," he told her. "I can still cure you."

There was a pause. Then she smiled.

"With what Program?" she asked. "You're locked out of ours…"

That's right. He was. He let out a long breath. What was he going to do? A thought occurred to him, and he chuckled at it. It wouldn't work, of course, not without a miracle, but he figured he'd tell R anyway. At least because she'd find it funny.

"I'll go to the World that Never Was," he said. "Demand that someone let me fix you. Who's going to complain?"

R laughed. It was raspy, but still laughter. "You're crazy… Won't work. Don't have… enough time…"

"Then do you know how to get past the locks on our Program?" he asked. It certainly wasn't a far-fetched idea. In fact, he was positive she knew how, the question only was whether or not she still remembered. "Don't you know the passwords?"

"Forgot those," R replied, smiling wryly. Of course. "Just like… everything else. Besides, I meant… You won't have enough time to write a cure… I don't think I'll… last…" She paused to take a long breath, which he could hear rasping in her lungs as she struggled to keep it there. Had it become hard for her to breathe, too? "Live more than a few hours."

The weight on his chest doubled. "A few hours?" But she'd said weeks not minutes ago!

She only nodded.

"If I can just…" 7 began, but there was nothing he could do. He couldn't Disable her—well, he could, it just wouldn't be a permanent solution. Disabling her would shut off her data, and hopefully the virus with it, but without a cure immediately at hand, it wouldn't buy him much more than an hour. And Deactivating her wasn't an option, even if he did have access to the full Program and the ability to do so. All other protocols he could think of to use in this situation _also _required access to the full Program.

He swore.

"What's… got you all… worked up?" R asked.

"There has to be something I can do," he said. "I'm not- I don't…"

He didn't want to lose her.

Yes, he was wary of what virus she might release next. No, he didn't want to have to deal with another outbreak right now. But… he'd been secretly hoping for quite some time that, once he had full access to the Program again, there might be another outbreak. He found he missed dissecting R's viruses, trying to figure out how they worked and how to cure them.

Of course, that wasn't the _only_ reason he didn't want her to die. That was a stupid reason to not want someone to die. But admitting, even to himself, the real reason—

"Now," R said. Her voice was stern, though tired. "No need for… you to get frantic… It's fine. I'll—ah!" Her body went rigid for a second, before going limp. "I'll be… fine…"

"No, I'm not going to lose you," 7 replied. "This isn't going to happen!"

"Didn't know you cared so much…"

"I-" But he didn't know what to tell her.

"Wait," she chuckled. "No, I did know…"

"What?"

How could she possibly know?

"It seems… awfully un- not like you, though," she muttered. "If you care… so much… wouldn't you be… trying harder to cure me?"

"Because… because there's nothing I can do!" he replied, frustrated.

R was right; had been right from the very beginning. There wasn't enough time. And even if there was; even if he _could_ whip up a cure in only a few hours, what then? He'd need access to the Program to do anything with the cure, and he didn't have that.

"Stop… I didn't mean…"

"No!" He wouldn't hear it. "There has to be a way to keep the virus from doing any more harm. If I can just stop it-"

"Don't," she interrupted, again. "I… got what I came here for… Even if it wasn't necessarily… quick… I'm still dying." She seemed perfectly content. "And it's not… that painful, actually. I expected these last moments… to be hell. Not compla—mmg!" She bit her lip, keeping a cry of pain in.

7 closed his eyes. He hated this. He hated every second of this. Why'd R have to go and write a virus intended to kill? She could've at least made sure she was immune to it!

He stopped his thoughts there.

Blaming her wouldn't do him any good. It's not like she had intended to catch it.

But he still didn't want her to die…

"Are… are you sure you don't have much longer?" he found himself asking, though he dreaded the answer.

"Positive. It's a struggle to breathe, let alone… think." She shuddered. "I'm not sure if… I'll be lucky enough to… to last another few minutes."

Minutes? She'd said hours. What was going on?

As if she read his mind, she mumbled:

"It's… weird, though. I don't know… how the virus managed to kill me so fast. There must be something wrong with the way I wrote it…"

"What went wrong?"

She shook her head. "Don't know. But… the effects of the virus are… affecting me much quicker than they…" She groaned, and her body went rigid again, shaking violently as the virus did as it pleased with what was left of her data. 7 did his best to steady her until it stopped.

R didn't say anything for a while. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed to be struggling to breathe. He held her closer to him, running through the possibilities of curing her before she died in his head. There really were none.

He just needed to resign himself to the inevitable, like R had.

"Did you mean it?" R asked, suddenly, interrupting his thoughts. Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Mean what?" 7 replied.

She smiled slightly. "When the Demyx virus broke out. You sang to me."

He laughed. "You know that virus just made you sing whatever came to mind," he said. "I didn't mean any of the things I sang."

R shook her head. She opened her eyes to look up at him. "No. You meant it. It's in your eyes… even now."

"What is?"

She didn't respond, and slowly closed her eyes again.

"R, I know you know I meant it, but I'm not aware of what it is you think I meant," he said.

She made a face.

"Say that again. Just not confusing."

He let out a breath. "What was it that I sang to you? The thing you know I apparently meant?"

"An annoying daughter who you wished would stop being such a pain, but yet amazed you with the capacity of her brain," R quoted, her voice carrying a tune as she said it. Then she laughed. "The rhyme sucked, like all of them did, but… you said I was like I daughter to you."

"I…" 7 began, but found he couldn't continue. Tears stung in his eyes.

What was he supposed to do? Deny the truth? To a girl on her deathbed? A girl who probably wanted him to admit that she was right?

Because she was right.

Even though he refused to admit it—especially now, when any affiliation with a Larxene Replica often ended with a blade through your gut—she had always been like a daughter to him.

He hadn't helped with her creation or anything, but he had been there at the time of her birth. There'd been some slip in Q's data—nothing major, and certainly nothing he couldn't fix—and as he was the only Medic on hand at the time, he'd been called to check it out. Because R and Q were in the same set, he was told to run a scan on R and make sure the same thing wasn't wrong with her.

The scan had only revealed that R's intelligence was much higher than it should've been, but that was nothing to report. What was wrong with being smart?

He was told to keep Q with him in the infirmary for a week or so, just to monitor her and make sure that the fix he had come up with actually worked. It hadn't taken much convincing for Master Vexen to let him keep R with him for that week, too. He'd just said that the wanted to be sure the same thing that happened to Q wouldn't happen to her.

R, of course, was smart enough to realize there was nothing wrong with her, though, and spent the first few days demanding why she was forced to stay in the infirmary if she was perfectly fine.

Q didn't talk much during that week. R did. Once she'd gotten past demanding to know why she had to stay, she started constantly badgering him with questions. She wanted to know everything about everything. But, since he really had nothing better to do with his time—all people who were injured were sent to other Medics—he was happy to answer her questions. It was nice to talk to someone who wasn't a Vexen Replica and yet understood all the things he was saying without him having to dumb it down for them.

The week was eventually over—too soon, in 7's opinion—and he saw R less and less over time. It wasn't until she'd developed the first of her viruses—a virus that gave a Replica symptoms similar to those of the human flu—that he began speaking with her on a regular basis. Of course, they spent most of their time in opposition to each other, as she constantly wrote viruses, and he constantly figured out how to cure them.

Still, despite all the trouble she caused him, he could not find it in him anywhere to feel anything more than annoyed with her.

Especially not as she was dying in his arms.

"It's… okay…" R said, slowly. It seemed to be a struggle for her to get the words out. "After… all this time… I… I've sort of… come to see you… like a… father. In a… way. Odd way… You… don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind," he assured her. Those words were easy to make leave his mouth.

"Hmm? I- I didn't… hear you…"

He swallowed, and then spoke a bit louder. "I said, of course I don't mind."

R shook her head. "No, I—ooh, my head… it's…" She took a deep breath, her body shuddering with the effort. "Dark. I… I can't- I… Where… am I…?"

His heart seized in his chest. "R…" He wasn't sure what he was saying, but the words left his mouth, anyway. "It's- it's alright. You're safe. You're—"

The words didn't matter.

She'd stopped breathing.

7 took a deep breath to keep himself from sobbing. He could feel tears rolling down his cheeks. He bit his lip, trying to hold back his grief.

What was left of R faded from his arms. She was gone. He just sat there, shaking, not wanting to move—

But he had to. He couldn't sit here and grieve. Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet. He took a second to compose himself, before turning to Riku and Namine. They were still on the ground.

"Is he alright?" he asked.

Namine glanced up at him. "Yes, I- I think he is."

"Just a bit…" Riku didn't finish his sentence.

A harsh moment of silence passed between them.

"Where's… R?" Namine asked, finally.

Grief struck him like a hammer. 7 turned away so that she wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. It was a struggle to keep his voice even.

"Gone."


	139. It's not Christmas

first off... MERRY CHRISTMAS! This is a special Christmas themed chapter to celebrate (and is quite the contrast from the previous chapter, isn't it?)

Second... Well, I know Shad and Aqua and Ven were the second and third most voted for characters to be featured in this chapter (the poll was on the blog...) but, uh... I couldn't think of crud of either of them. So they just... they didn't make it into this chapter. Sorry. I'll, uh, write a chapter for ASAS to make up for it, how about that? (Just... probably after I finish KH3D... and finish that scene with Vexen. Heheh *REALLY needs to finish that scene, since it's been nearly a month since I started it*)

Anyway, that's it. ENJOY THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER!

**Update Feb 2014: **The scene with Shad and Aqua and Ven never got written. Sorry. I have it sitting half finished, and may upload it as is, but I have yet to do so. If I eventually do, I'll let you know in a later chapter of Dead Inside. (Somewhere after ch200.)

* * *

><p>"Where is it? Stupid thing! It should've been here…"<p>

Riku slammed the drawer shut, angrily. He'd made this special trip just to come and get the stupid card, and now he couldn't find the darn thing. What a pain.

"What did I do with it?"

XXX

"What's that?" Toby asked, pointing at the plant Joseph was holding.

"Mistletoe," Joseph replied, grinning mischievously. "I'm gonna try and get Riku and Namine under it."

"Why?"

"'Cause it's Christmas tradition that two people standing under mistletoe have to kiss," Joseph explained. "Duh."

"But…" Toby frowned. "It's not Christmas…"

Joseph wasn't listening. He was currently brainstorming ideas.

XXX

"Aha," Riku muttered, pulling a tattered and still slightly bloody pair of pants out of the back of his closet. This would be the pair of pants he'd been wearing when he arrived in this universe, though why he hadn't gotten rid of them…

No matter.

He quickly checked the pockets.

It wasn't there.

He grimaced. "Really?"

His annoyance was short lived, however, as he noticed something lying on the ground in the back of his closet. He picked it up and, much to his relief, it was a card. Specifically, the World Card he was looking for. Finally.

Only pausing to throw his pants back into his closet, Riku headed for Castle Oblivion immediately.

XXX

"You sure this is going to work?" Toby asked.

"Positive," Joseph replied.

They were "hiding" just outside Namine's door, above which they had hung the mistletoe. In theory, both Riku and Namine were in there, and so when they walked out, they'd be under the mistletoe. Toby didn't understand how some silly Christmas tradition (when it wasn't even Christmas) was going to get Riku and Namine to kiss (nor did he understand why Joseph _wanted_ them to) but… Well, there really was no deterring Joseph once he got an idea in his head.

"Any minute now…" Joseph muttered, eyes fixed on the door. "C'mon…"

After quite a while of waiting, the door finally did open. Namine stepped out.

"Namine, wait!" Joseph said, quickly.

She paused, frowned at him, but didn't move any farther.

Joseph stared at her. Then he looked at the still slightly open door. He looked back at Namine.

"Where's Riku?" he asked, finally, slowly, drawing the question out.

"Haven't seen him all day," Namine replied, just as slowly. "Do you need him or something?"

"Well…" Joseph said. "No, just… I don't know."

"We just thought he was with you," Toby added, trying to be helpful.

Namine shook her head.

"Well, that's okay," Joseph said. "You can go now."

Namine raised her eyebrows, laughing slightly. "You sure?"

"Yup!"

"Okay…" She shook her head, and headed off.

Toby waited until she was gone before asking: "Now what?"

"Uh…" Joseph made a face. "Well, first we need to get the mistletoe down."

"Can't we just leave it there?" Toby said. "'Cause if we leave it there—"

"'Course not!" Joseph interrupted.

Toby sighed.

XXX

"Hey, Alpha," Riku said, pausing in the doorway of Alpha's office.

"Yeah?" Alpha didn't look up from his computer.

"Can you tell me if this is going to work?" Riku asked, handing the card to Alpha. Alpha took it, examining it.

"What's this?" he asked.

"World Card," Riku answered. "From the other universe."

"It's torn…" Alpha observed.

"That's always been there," Riku replied. "It hasn't ever affected the way card worked, that I know of. I wanted to know if the card would work in this universe, since it came from the other one…"

"Oh." Alpha handed the card back. "I don't see why it wouldn't."

Riku nodded and started off.

XXX

"We could always put it over their couch," Toby suggested.

"But have you _seen_ the ceilings of Castle Oblivion?" Joseph replied, throwing his arms up in the air. "They're _way_ too high up to reach! Besides, how would we make it stay, huh? We'd have to, like, dangle it through a dark corridor or something!"

"You could always just hold it over their heads once they've already sat down…" Toby muttered.

Joseph paused, considered this for a moment, and then shrugged. "Yeah, I guess that'd work." He sighed. "But they're not there now, are they? So, until they are, we're going to try something else!"

"Like what?"

Joseph thought about this for a bit longer. "Well… we could… We could always just follow them around and hold the mistletoe over them as soon as we get a chance."

"Or we could wait…" Toby said, slowly.

"Well, yeah, but if we do it while they're in the Main Room, then they'll be in public and there's a less likely chance of it working," Joseph explained. Toby pretended this made sense. "But if we catch them in a slightly less populated room, then I think Riku'll be less likely to punch me in the face."

Toby wondered why Joseph was even bothering this if it was likely to end with being punched in the face, but decided not to ask.

XXX

"Namine, I want to show you something," Riku said. She couldn't help but smile at the excitement in his voice as he took her by the hand and lead her off.

"Where are we going?" she asked, his excitement creeping into her own voice.

"You'll see," Riku replied.

Namine only smiled wider as she allowed herself to be dragged through the Castle. Finally, they paused in front of a door. Riku reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. He grinned at her, then held the card up to the door. There was a flash of light, and the door opened.

"C'mon," Riku said, stepping through. Namine followed.

They stepped out into a different world—well, a world fabricated by Castle Oblivion using the data found in the card. Namine knew about this, and how it worked, but she'd never actually been to one of the Card Worlds before. And, from the way Riku acted, this World was special.

She couldn't help but grimace as something crunched beneath her feet. She glanced down, and was surprised to find that the ground was covered in snow. She turned to Riku, questioningly. He was staring up at the sky, a similar grimace on his face.

"That's odd…" he whispered. "It should've been… night."

Given the fact the sun hadn't set yet, it clearly wasn't night.

"Should there be snow?" Namine asked.

"That-" Riku began, and then frowned. He turned to her, surprised. "_Snow?_" She nodded. He glanced around, and groaned. "What the…"

"It's cold, too," Namine said. She shivered slightly, and hugged herself, trying to fend off the cold.

Riku was shivering, too, though he was trying not to show it. "You want to head back?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No. What was it you wanted to show me?"

Riku sighed, but then smiled and pulled her forward. "Just up here," he said.

They hadn't walked far before they reached a hill. Riku headed straight for the top of it. Namine gasped when they reached the top. The hill overlooked a small valley, which Namine had a feeling was actually a meadow, though the flowers were covered by snow. Even so…

"It's beautiful," she breathed.

"Yeah," Riku said, absently. His gaze was firmly fixed on the sky.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

"Mm?" He turned to her, then shook his head, smiling. "Nah." He slowly sat down, grimacing slightly, probably at how cold the snow was. After a second he opened his arms, inviting Namine to sit in his lap.

"You sure?" she asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "You want to be cold?"

She chuckled, and went ahead and sat down. She snuggled closer to Riku, realizing just how cold she was. He wrapped his arms around her, held her close, using his own heat to shelter her from the icy cold that nipped at them.

"Aren't you cold?" she whispered.

"No," he told her, though she could feel him shivering.

XXX

"Where are they going?" Joseph asked, craning his neck as he tried to see through the closing door they had just gone through.

Toby shrugged.

"Let's follow them!" Joseph exclaimed, running to do so.

"Don't we need a-"

"World Card?" Joseph finished. "We shouldn't. They just went in. Rooms tend to last as long as someone's in them, unless you change the settings to allow for otherwise. Now c'mon! This'll be perfect!"

Joseph threw the door open. They were immediately confronted with a blast of cold air. Toby flinched. Joseph squinted.

"Is this…" Joseph began. "That's snow! Why is it _snowing?_" He turned to Toby. "Where the heck did he take her that had _snow?_"

Toby shrugged.

"Oh well!" Joseph skipped forward. Toby followed hesitantly after him, not liking how the snow crunched and shifted beneath his feet. It was worse than sand, and it was _cold_. He shivered, and wondered how Joseph wasn't freezing, too. Either Joseph was really good at hiding it, or…

Toby didn't know.

"Look!" Joseph pointed at a hill not far in the distance, on top of which Riku and Namine were sitting. Actually, now that Toby really looked, he was pointing at a _tree_. A few of the tree branches were hanging over Riku's and Namine's heads. "There, that'll do it!" He started towards the tree.

"What are we doing?" Toby asked, warily.

"Gonna climb the tree, and then hang the mistletoe from there," Joseph replied, grinning. He then shushed Toby before he could ask another question. "They'll hear us!" he hissed.

Toby closed his mouth.

Joseph stared at the tree, trying to figure out how to climb it. After a second he handed the mistletoe to Toby. "Hold that while I climb up," he instructed.

Toby looked at the mistletoe curiously. It was an interesting little plant, he decided. It reminded him of a bush, though there wasn't really enough of the stuff for him to tell. It had green leaves though, like all plants did. And it… smelled kinda funny.

He sniffed it, curiously. That turned out to be a mistake.

He sneezed, and a pain shot through his nose. He dropped the mistletoe and clutched his nose, wincing.

Joseph dropped out of the tree (not that he'd gotten far up it) and turned to Toby, shocked. "Did you… did you just _sneeze_ lightning?" he asked, his voice suggesting an emotion between surprise and awe.

"Yeah…" Toby said, slowly. "I don't think I'm supposed to, though. That _hurt!_ Lightning isn't… ow…"

Joseph bent down and picked up the mistletoe from the ground. It was charred and smoking slightly. "Aw man…" he muttered.

"I think I fried my boogers…" Toby groaned.

Joseph sighed, and then looked over to where Namine and Riku were sitting. "Well…" he said, slowly. "I guess we should just leave them alone. It's getting kind of cold anyway."

"Okay," Toby agreed, still rubbing his nose.

And the two of them left.

XXX

"The sunset's pretty," Namine said. "Look at the way the light reflects on the snow!"

He had to admit, even if this wasn't what he'd brought her here for, it was beautiful. The light of the setting sun turned the snow a red color, and it was breathtaking. "Yeah," he said, holding her closer.

Still, though… If the sun was setting now, maybe they'd arrived early or something. After a moment, he explained this to Namine and added: "It was supposed to be night when we got here, after all. The timing must've gotten messed up."

"And the snow?" He could hear laughter in his voice.

"No clue," he told her, shaking his head.

They sat there a while longer, and eventually the sun set, and the stars came out. Riku cast his gaze up at them, hopefully. They merely twinkled back at him, and no more.

"Riku?" Namine asked, quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you bring me here, anyway?"

He waited a moment before answering. The stars remained perfectly still. If there were any shooting stars tonight, they must've been in the wrong place to see them.

"Well," he said. "There was…" he trailed off, sighing. "You know what? It doesn't matter."

"You sure?" She sounded concerned.

"Yeah…"

He wasn't sure if Namine was convinced, but she didn't say anything for a while.

"When are we heading back?" she asked, when she did speak.

"Can we wait a little longer?"

"Okay."

So they waited. Riku kept his eyes on the stars, hoping. None of them moved. He wondered if they knew the trouble they were causing. Maybe they were mocking him… His thoughts were distracted when Namine shivered and snuggled closer to him.

"It's getting cold," she whispered.

He held her tighter, though he was freezing himself. He sighed. "You want to head back?"

"I know you were waiting for something…" she said, slowly.

"Don't worry about it," he told her. "The data probably just got messed up."

"Sorry," she muttered.

He shook his head. "Don't be. It's not your fault." He let go of her and shifted slightly. She stood up, and he followed after. "Let's go," he said. "My butt's frozen…"

* * *

><p>btdubs, Riku and Namine are not in a specific world. It's a little... template worldlet from Castle Oblivion that Riku may have modified a bit. 'cept the snow was just a glitch in the data (but it's hard to make a Christmaswinter themed chapter when we're supposed to be in the middle of April in the fic!)


	140. Hymn for the Missing

whoops. Forgot the Author's note when I first uploaded this.

Not that there's much to say. HELLO EVERYBODY! I AM BACK! Not that I really left or anything... just been writing a sequence for Can't Escape, which you should probably check out if you haven't already. You probably have, though... (It's the Ienzo Sequence aka ch54-60.)

There's also at least one new chapter in ASAS! In case you missed that! Yeah. That's it. (One of the chapters around ch38-42)

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><p><em>"C'mon, Kairi! Can't you keep up?"<em>

_ Sora was a good ways ahead of her, laughing as he ran. It was a struggle to keep up with him—he'd always been a faster runner. Her legs were getting tired, and her lungs felt like they were on fire. Why was keeping up with him such a pain?_

_ "Just slow down, Sora, please!"_

_ "Hahah! Not a chance!"_

_ He laughed, pausing for a second to turn around and grin at her—that large lopsided grin of his—before he darted around the corner and out of sight. Running out of breath, but determined to catch him, she chased after him._

_ But the sight she was greeted with when she turned the corner wasn't a pleasant one._

_ Horror surged through her at the sight. Sora lay crumpled on the ground, blood splattered on the sand around him. Darkness surged through his body, and she watched as the darkness pulled him up, like a puppet on strings, and made him turn to face her._

_ Blood poured from a wound on his face, marring it, soaking his clothes, staining his hands. The darkness lived in his eyes, spilled from his mouth when he spoke. He summoned his Keyblade to him—and it was blood spattered, too, cracked in a million places, held together purely by thorns, the light within it smothered by the darkness that ran across it._

_ He grinned, then, and it remained the lopsided grin she loved so much. She wished it'd reflect the malice in his eyes, seeing _his_ smile on this form was heartbreaking. He raised his Keyblade, aimed it at her chest._

_ "You're next."_

She woke up screaming before he had the chance to strike.

"Kairi? Kairi, are you alright?"

She didn't stop screaming, and only clutched at the grass beneath her, using it to anchor herself. She was sitting, but her eyes were squeezed shut, afraid that if she opened them she might see Sora again, just like in the nightmare. She reminded herself that it wasn't real, ignoring Tifa as she did so, telling herself that if it was real he would've struck already. If it was real she'd be dead, or at least in a lot of pain.

_If it was real, Sora would be here, _she couldn't help but think, though._ Darkness-crazed, but here._

She tried not to dwell on that thought for too long.

"Kairi, you are alright! It was just a nightmare."

Tifa's voice finally came through to her, and her screams dwindled into sobs.

It wasn't fair. If he was going to visit her dreams, why did he have to visit like _that? _Would it seriously kill her subconscious to supply her with a dream that didn't turn into a nightmare? Was it too much to ask for a happy dream, for once?

Tifa's arms were suddenly around her, embracing her, steadying her. Kairi half-shuddered at the touch, half-shook with relief. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, but they only came out as more sobs.

"Kairi, shh," Tifa whispered. "You are alright. Nothing's going to hurt you. You're safe."

"But-"

"It was just a dream. It was just in your head. None of it was real."

Kairi just nodded, and resumed her attempts to stop her sobs. Eventually, she managed.

"Do they… ever go away?" she asked.

"Does what ever go away?" Tifa replied.

Kairi swallowed.

"The nightmares."

It was a while before Tifa responded.

"Yes. Yes, they- they do eventually go away."

Tifa let go of her, and went and fetched her bag. She rummaged around in it, and Kairi was surprised when she produced a bar of chocolate. Tifa unwrapped the chocolate, broke off a piece, and offered it to Kairi.

Kairi stared.

"It'll help calm your nerves," Tifa explained.

Kairi stared a moment longer, but took the chocolate anyway.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tifa asked.

"I'd rather forget about it," Kairi replied, shakily.

Tifa nodded. "Alright."

They sat in silence for a while, as Kairi slowly finished her chocolate. Tifa offered her another piece when she was done, but she refused. Tifa merely shrugged and ate the chocolate herself.

"I just…" Kairi said, quietly. "I just want him back." A sob escaped her, but she held back the ones that tried to follow. "Once I have him back, it'll all be okay."

Tifa smiled. "We'll find him soon. I'm sure of it."

"Yes, but-" Kairi paused, something that she had been thinking for a while threatening to escape her. She couldn't hold it back. "But we're just chasing after him! What if we can't catch him? What if when we _do_ catch him, it's too late?"

"Kairi," Tifa began, but stopped. She was quiet for a moment, before she asked: "Would it make you feel better if I called Cloud? I can ask him to keep an eye out for Sora, too. With the rate Cloud travels the Worlds, he might have better luck running into Sora than we do."

Kairi considered it for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah. If you don't mind."

"It's no problem," Tifa assured her, and rummaged around in her bag again. "Of course, whether or not I can get a hold of him is another story." She finally pulled out a phone, and dialed a number. "He never picks up," she laughed, as she put the phone to her ear. "But I'll leave a message. He should—oh my gosh, you picked up!"

"I don't even get a hello?"

Cloud's voice was clear through the phone—Tifa must've had the volume turned up.

"Hello," Tifa said. "Sorry, I didn't actually expect you to answer. You never answer my calls."

"I had a feeling this was important…"

"And where's my hello, since you made such a fuss about it?"

"Hello, Tifa. How are you?"

"I'm doing fine." Tifa cast a hesitant glance at Kairi, and then said: "Kairi, however, has recently had a terrible nightmare, and… well, we were wondering if you could possibly keep an eye out for Sora, for us."

"No problem," Cloud said. "What do you want me to do if I find him?"

"Call me," Tifa said. "We'll try and meet somewhere. Kairi really wants to see him."

Kairi nodded, even though she knew it did Cloud no good. She really _did_ want to see Sora, though she tried not to think about the state he might be in when she finally saw him. But it was hard not to with the nightmare still fresh in her mind.

What if he was still darkness-crazed?

What if he didn't want to see her?

What if he ran again?

What if she couldn't—

No.

She wouldn't allow herself to think that thought.

Everything would be fine, so long as she had Sora. She wasn't going to let the darkness have him. Not again. She was his Light, after all. She couldn't—_wouldn't—_abandon him. She'd find him. She'd save him. It was as simple as that.

She let out a long breath.

"You too," Tifa was saying. Kairi hadn't caught Cloud had said beforehand, so she was a bit lost in their conversation. Not that it mattered; she probably shouldn't be eavesdropping, anyway.

Not eavesdropping was hard, though, when she could hear Cloud crystal clear, still.

"Talk to you later," he said.

"Yeah, if you'd answer your phone," Tifa replied, laughing.

Cloud laughed, too.

"Goodbye, Tifa," he said.

"Bye." Tifa closed her phone and returned it to her bag. She turned to Kairi. "Cloud said he can help us look for Sora."

Kairi stifled a laugh. "I- I heard," she said, smiling. "Your phone's kinda loud…"

"Oh." Tifa made a face and glanced at her bag, as if debating whether or not to get her phone out and fix that problem. She shrugged, then. "Well, we should probably try and get some more sleep…"

"Actually, Tifa," Kairi said, quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering…" Kairi swallowed. "Why are you searching for Cloud, anyway?"

"I'm… actually, not searching for him. I'm… more, following him. Trying to keep him out of trouble," Tifa explained. "That's hard to do if I'm not following him. Also…" She paused, lowering her voice. "I don't tell many people this but… Like Cloud, I've been travelling and on the move for so long, that I'm not sure if I'd be able to settle down. And, even if I wanted to settle down, I wouldn't without Cloud."

Kairi raised her eyebrows.

Tifa flushed. "Not like that!" she said, quickly. "No- I meant- I- I wouldn't settle down if Cloud was still on the move. I—oh shut up!"

Kairi was laughing, and finding it very hard to _stop_ laughing. Tifa just glared at her until she eventually got her laughter under control. When she eventually did, she asked:

"So… do you know where he is?"

"Cloud?"

Kairi nodded. "Yeah. It seems like it'd be hard to follow someone if you didn't know where they were or where they were headed."

Tifa nodded in agreement. "Do I know where he is right now?" she asked. "Or just in general?"

Kairi shrugged, drawing her knees to her chest. "In general, I guess."

Tifa thought for a second. "I… usually have a rough idea of where he is. He's got a pattern that he travels the Worlds in, and rarely strays from it. I'm often just a world behind him."

"_Do_ you know where he is now?"

Tifa made a face, thinking some more. "I think he's in… Never—no, wait, not Neverland. He goes there later." She stared off to the side for a moment, before saying: "He's either in Port Royal or Enchanted Dominion. Probably."

"Huh," Kairi said. She'd never heard of either of those Worlds—though there were few Worlds that she knew of, really, having only been away from home for a week. "How long has Cloud been traveling?"

"Uh… a few years, at least," Tifa replied. "I can't remember exactly how many. But, really, the last time he's stayed in one place for an extended period of time was when Sephiroth was still around. And that was years ago."

"Who's Sephiroth?" Kairi asked, slowly. She had a nagging feeling that she should know this, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember.

"Cloud's Shadow."

"Right." She had known that… hadn't she? Oh, she couldn't remember. "So Cloud struggled with the darkness at one point? I mean, he must've, if he had a Shadow…"

Tifa only nodded.

"And you saved him…" It was more statement than it was question.

"No." Tifa shook her head at that. "I only helped him. He'd already won half the struggle on his own—I just pulled him through the rest."

"Is that what's going to happen with Sora?" Kairi said, a bit quickly, feeling suddenly worried. She wasn't sure if he'd be able to do the same—nor was she sure she could wait for him. She'd resign herself to waiting, if she'd have to, but she'd much rather not.

Tifa laughed. "Kairi, Cloud and Sora are two completely different people," she said. "So, their struggles with the darkness aren't going to be the same. They may be similar, sure. But Cloud's methods are different than Sora's methods, just as my methods are different than yours."

Kairi frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well…" Tifa sighed. "Why are you looking for Sora?"

"Because I want to find him," Kairi replied, not sure why she was answering this question. Didn't Tifa already know this? "I want to save him."

Tifa grimaced. "No… that doesn't work. I wanted to save Cloud, back when he was struggling with the darkness. Give me something different."

"I want to…" Kairi began, then trailed off. What _did_ she want? She hugged her knees, tightly. She wanted to… save Sora. It might've been _more_ than that, but it most certainly wasn't anything different. She shook her head. "I don't- I don't think I can give you anything different. I want to save him. I want to banish his darkness for him. I want his struggles to be over, I want- I want things to go back to the way they were, I want…"

"Alright, well," Tifa said. "I guess… I mean, I _really_ only helped Cloud—I didn't necessarily save him. But you could very easily save Sora. Not that this is a good-" She paused, eyes widening. She stared at Kairi for a second, looking a bit stunned. "Wait a minute," she said, slowly. "Did you- Did you just say you wanted to _banish_ his darkness for him?"

"Y-yes," Kairi stuttered, not sure how to respond to Tifa's reaction. "Can… I do that?"

Tifa thought about it for a moment, and then smiled. "I think," she said, slowly getting to her feet. "It's time you learned something."

"Learn what?" Kairi got to her feet, too.

Tifa started walking, but she got no more than a few steps before pausing. "Actually…" She glanced around. "This is as good of a place as any."

"What are we doing?" Kairi asked.

"Teaching you something." Tifa cracked her knuckles.

"Now?"

"Well, it's on my mind," Tifa replied, eyes narrowing slightly with annoyance. "And it's not like either of us are really all that tired."

Kairi couldn't argue that. She really wasn't tired anymore.

"Right, now, listen up," Tifa said. Her voice had a very no-nonsense-shut-up-I'm-telling-you-something tone to it. "People like you, and me, and you especially, have a lot of light in them, and, when done right, are capable of channeling that light."

"What do you mean, 'me especially'," Kairi asked.

Tifa stared. "You're a Princess of Heart," she said, blankly, sounding maybe a bit confused. "Your heart's _pure_ light. I thought we discussed this."

"We did," Kairi admitted, now that she had heard these things. "In the other universe, when we ran into the parallel version of me. I just forgot, that's all."

"Right." Tifa looked like she was itching to get back to her lesson. "As I was saying, we can channel the light within us. Make it a sort of weapon."

"Really? How so?"

"You know how Riku uses his darkness when he's fighting?"

Kairi shook her head. "I… haven't really been around Riku while he's fighting…"

Tifa let out an annoyed breath. "Well, it's like that. You channel the light inside of you to, say, your fingertips and-" A small ball of light formed in Tifa's hand. She tossed it up into the air a few times.

"Whoa!" Kairi said, impressed, and now itching to know how to do the same.

Tifa just smiled. "And, if you don't end up throwing it at anything and are otherwise done with it, you can just pull it back into you." She went ahead and did just that.

"Can you do other things with light?" Kairi asked, eagerly. "Do you have to form a ball of it, or can you do whatever?"

Tifa chuckled. "You can basically do whatever," she said. "This is just the easiest to do, I find. Go ahead and give it a shot!"

Kairi held her hand out in front of her, concentrating, willing light to form in her palm. It turned out to be as easy as that. Within seconds, she was holding a ball of light much larger than the one Tifa had summoned. She stared at it, wide-eyed, not entirely believing that she had just summoned it to her.

"I'm impressed!" Tifa said.

Kairi only continued to stare at the ball of light. Finally, she looked up at Tifa. "Now what do I do?"

"Pull it back into you," Tifa replied. "Or you could throw it at something, if you want. But, that'll drain your energy a bit."

"Summoning light will drain my energy?" Kairi asked, a bit confused. "But… I feel fine! And, what makes the difference between throwing it and just summoning it?"

"You're still holding the light in your hands, aren't you?" Tifa asked.

Kairi nodded.

"That's why you don't feel anything," Tifa explained. "And, if you were to pull it back into you, there'd be no energy wasted. But if you threw it at something… there's no getting that energy back. It's just like using magic."

"Oh." That made sense. Kairi sighed and pulled the light back into her—something that proved harder to do than pushing it out of her, for some reason. "Now what are we going to do?" she asked, a bit of eagerness still in her voice. She secretly hoped that Tifa would teach her something else. Getting light to do that for her was thrilling, somehow.

"I think maybe we should go back to sleep…" Tifa said.

"I'm not tired, though," Kairi said, feeling kind of like she was five. She could tell, though, from Tifa's voice, that Tifa wasn't really tired, either. "We could always start moving again. Go to a different World. Maybe run into some Heartless…"

Tifa laughed. She'd probably caught on to the fact that Kairi only wanted to run into Heartless so that she could try out her new light-summoning ability.

"Alright then," Tifa said. "Get your things, and we'll get going."

Kairi happily obliged.


	141. Hopeful Darkness

apparently none of you noticed I am back...? Huh.

Anyway, fun fact, this chapter is 306 words short of 2000, making it slightly shorter than usual. As of late. (considering, y'know, back at chapter 50, this was considered LONG)

**Update Feb 2014: **This chapter has a companion chapter, which is ch39 of ASAS!

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><p><em>Fear<em>.

He sat down, rather abruptly.

It was like lightning had struck him, rendering him unable to move, tearing through his heart—that blasted heart of his!—and causing it to thud to a halt for a brief moment or two. Sora's Shadow took a few heavy breaths, trying to calm down his raging nerves.

Why was he suddenly so _scared_?

And it wasn't just a fleeting fear, it was a downright _terror._ Had it been tangible, it would be binding him, creeping around his body, crushing his neck. It would've crept into his mouth, through his windpipes, and back out his nose, incapacitating his breathing.

It was like he was drowning.

_Growing up on an island, he knew how to swim almost before he knew how to walk. Drowning wasn't something he was used to._

He moaned, clutching his head.

It was funny, the things that came to him these days. Out of nowhere, it was like his connection with Sora amplified itself a million times and it was more like he _was_ Sora than just _hearing _Sora. It was annoying. But if he embraced it… let himself feel it… maybe he could find where Sora was.

It was the only option he had, lately. He'd been through so many Worlds that he was beginning to doubt that there was one he _hadn't_ checked. He needed to come up with other ways to locate Sora. And if he could just _see_ something, during these moments—a World, even just a glimmer of one—then he might be able to track Sora from there, where the scent was fresh…

A sense of hopelessness washed through him. He couldn't tell if it was his own or Sora's. He decided to pretend it was Sora's, even though the thoughts that followed the hopelessness were most certainly his own.

_What if I never find him?_

_ I've done all this searching, and I can't seem to find him anywhere. It's like he's gone. Disappeared. Like he's dead… but I know he's not. I would have felt that. I should've felt that…_

He clutched himself tightly, trying to push the thoughts away. Sora. He had to focus on Sora. What was Sora doing? What was making Sora feel so hopeless—so scared—that he felt it, too? There had to have been something…

_Hollow Bastion—_

He perked up at the thought, but was disappointed to find it was just a memory. He knew this memory. He'd been there. He'd forced Sora to attack Riku, he'd—

_What was this?_

_ It was an image, blurred and distorted through Sora's eyes. It was still Hollow Bastion. But there was a sense of movement to it. And there! That was a person, and _they _were…_

_ Dragging Sora off?_

But—

The wolf growled at him, trying to draw him back to reality. It wasn't hard to ignore it. The world around him had been reduced to a roar in his ears. He'd squeezed his eyes shut long ago.

More images flickered through his mind. They were all fleeting glimpses of some World, but he couldn't make out the scenery and peg it to a specific World. Rocks. Grass. There were plenty of Worlds with those.

But the images that followed…

_The image was distorted, fuzzy, all of it screaming that it was a memory, and it certainly didn't feel like a memory of Sora's. It was the image of a boy. A boy whose presence was of light. He knew this boy._

_ Ventus._

But what was Ventus doing in Sora's head?

In the weird state of mind he was currently in, Sora's Shadow could do nothing to stop the images that came to him next. They were his own memories. He'd met Ventus a time or two before. Ventus and all his damn light—

_"You!" Ventus had his Keyblade bared. Sora's Shadow—who'd only just begun forming at this point—stared, a bit confused. His connection to this kid through Sora was supplying him with information, but he'd never seen the boy before. Why did the boy recognize him?_

_ "I _killed_ you!"_

_ "Mmm, no, I don't think you did."_

_ But he knew that this Ventus had killed someone similar to him. Their image was present in his mind, and a laugh eerily like his own rang in his ears._

"No!"

Sora's Shadow pulled himself out of the depths of the memory. Sora. He _needed_ to focus on Sora, while the connection was still intact. It wouldn't last much longer. It never lasted long enough.

_Fear_.

Sora had been feeling fear. So strong that it paralyzed him. But why had he been feeling fear?

He got images relevant to the most unimportant things, why could he get an image connected to Sora's fear? Or the hopelessness that followed it?

_Dark walls surrounded him._

There!

_His heart was pounding in his chest._

_ Why couldn't this be the nightmare he could wake up from?_

Sora's Shadow grinded his teeth together, brow furrowed in his concentration, fists clenched tightly with his determination. Come on. He could feel it. He only needed a better look around whatever room Sora was in.

Come on, Sora. Look around.

_"Good, you're awake."_

A voice!

There was someone else with him.

The dread that filled Sora now was unmistakable. Sora's Shadow clutched it, tightly, refusing to let go. Let it strengthen the connection. Come on. Come on, Sora. Turn! Who was it? Even a memory—a spare thought—concerning this person who filled him with dread would be nice. Come on!

_Sora turned, slowly._

The image that Sora's Shadow was presented with was not one he was expecting. Blurred and warped through Sora's eyes, but otherwise clear—

_Maleficent._

But the witch was dead!

_He could've sworn she was dead!_

The connection with Sora went dead.

_Just as Maleficent should be dead…_

The thought was bitter.

But excitement followed it.

Laughter escaped his lips, even though he desperately wanted to scream with anger and destroy the thing closest to him in his fury. He knew where Sora was! Maleficent—that… oh, he'd think of an insult appropriate for her later—had him. Which meant if he found her…

He found Sora.

And Maleficent couldn't possibly be as hard to find.

_xXx_

Well, maybe she could be hard to find.

Sora's Shadow realized this only a few hours later. He had no way of locating Maleficent—the Wolf didn't know her scent, and he knew of nowhere to find her scent. He'd had the vague notion in his mind that he'd ask around about her, but when he went to put that into action, he remembered why he hadn't done such things to locate Sora.

No one could hear him.

Or, no one who he could squeeze information out of.

Random locales of any World he visited very rarely could hear him in the first place, and the few who could refused to talk to him. They couldn't see him. They thought they were hearing things.

And it wasn't like he could sit very well in a corner of a town and probe every passerby's mind. For starters, it would be a pain. But, with the Wolf following him… Well, people tended to give the Wolf a _very_ wide berth.

"This is _pointless!_" He groaned. He and the Wolf were now on the outskirts of one of the towns they'd visited today. Well out of sight and away from any people who could bother them. "We can't find Maleficent, and Sora's trail is long dead, so we can't find him either! _Now_ what?"

'You are darkness,' the Wolf said. 'Isn't _she_ darkness, too? Can you find her that way?'

He grimaced. He supposed he could (and cursed himself silently for not thinking it sooner). He closed his eyes, searching the depths of his knowledge for anything about Maleficent. Darkness knows its own, after all…

"She's…" he began, slowly. "She's plunged a world or two into darkness. Was looking for the Princess of Heart—whatever those are!—at one point…" He shook his head. Nothing about Sora. Nothing useful. Just— "And now she's apparently gathering an army of Heartless. For some reason." He let out an annoyed sigh and opened his eyes again. "Nothing on where she is, or where Sora might be!"

This was getting utterly ridiculous.

He turned to the Wolf to ask—sarcastically—if it had any other great ideas. But the look in the Wolf's eyes made him stop. It was a… curious expression. Thoughtful? Hopeful? What?

'She's… gathering Heartless?' the Wolf asked, after a long time.

"Yeah."

'_I'm_ a Heartless.'

"Yes, you are." What was the Wolf getting at? "What does that have to do with anything?"

The Wolf narrowed its eyes. When it spoke again, it spoke slowly, as if laying down a point that was absolutely obvious.

'If I… traveled the Worlds. In my true form. Wouldn't you agree that I'm a strong enough Heartless to draw her attention?'

Sora's Shadow raised his eyebrows, considering this.

'If I find her, or she finds me, I can get her scent,' the Wolf continued. 'Then I can return to you, and take you to her. And then we can find out where she's keeping Sora.'

"That… isn't a bad idea!" he admitted, smiling. "Yeah. I like that!"

'And what if she has Sora with her?' the Wolf asked. 'Or if I end up finding him, instead?'

"Find a way to get him to me," he replied, simply. "Or, at the very least, get him away from her! Once he's away from her, it really doesn't matter, because the connection between us should be restored! She's gotta be the one blocking it, right?"

The Wolf did not respond. Instead, it came over and bit him on the hand—almost affectionately. He glared at it, but it let go of him before he could say or do anything. Then it bounded off, disappearing from the world through a pathway that only it seemed to know.

"Huh," Sora's Shadow mused, rubbing his chest slightly. For the first time since Sora'd been taken from him, he actually felt—

No.

No, that couldn't be right.


	142. One

OMG LOOK I'M FINALLY HERE. IT'S FINALLY WRITTEN. YEAHH

Anyway I don't have much else to say. Check my blog. Check my tumblr. Check things. I have more things to say there.

Music suggestion: "Fight the Darkness" and "Chariots of Blood" by Two Steps from Hell. (I'll have music suggestions for most of these chapters.)

**Update Feb 2014: **If you wanna know what Joseph's talking about, check Can't Escape ch54-60. (I'd highly recommend you check those chapters anyway because Vexen feels and Joseph feels and it's one of my favorite sequences. If you only read one Can't Escape sequence let it be that one. Please.)

* * *

><p>"Are you… mopping?" Riku asked, slowly, as Joseph came over.<p>

Joseph was indeed mopping. He paused and leaned against his mop, trying to look casual about it (even though the mop was about the size of him and it actually looked rather difficult for him to lean against it).

"I got in trouble," Joseph explained. "29 decided that, as punishment, I could clean nearly _every inch_ of this Castle." He sighed.

Riku couldn't help but laugh. "How'd you manage to get yourself in _that_ much trouble?"

"Went to the parallel universe without permission," Joseph said. "It's all Vexen's fault, really."

"Really?" Riku asked, dubious.

Joseph nodded. "Really! We were in Twilight Town, and there was a Heartless, and he was all like 'Ienzo! Move!' and I was like 'My name's Joseph, but okay!' I mean, I wasn't going to argue. I didn't want to die! That Heartless was _huge!_ But, once the Heartless was dead, I asked him about it, and he was like 'What!? I didn't call you Ienzo!' and I was like 'uh, yeah. You totally called me Ienzo.' And then-" Joseph paused for a second, probably to take a breath. "Out of _nowhere_ he was all like 'oh my gosh! Xehanort killed Ienzo! I'm such a terrible—'"

"Joseph!" 29 called. "I don't see you working!"

Joseph grimaced and started mopping again. Riku suppressed his laughter.

"Anyway," Joseph continued, a few seconds later, in a much quieter voice. "_Of course_ had to go track down Ienzo for him, and prove to him everything was alright. He was _moping!_ Vexen is _not_ a fun person to watch mope…"

"You aren't going to get in trouble for talking to me?" Riku said, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, I probably will," Joseph replied, grinning slightly. "But 29 shouldn't notice as long as I'm quiet and don't stop mopping."

"Right." Riku frowned, then, noticing something. "Where's Toby?"

Joseph frowned, too. "I actually don't know," he said. "I haven't talked to him since yesterday. Been cleaning." He stared at Riku for a second. "Where's Namine?"

"In her room." Riku said with a shrug. "She's working on something… said it was some surprise."

Joseph's eyes widened, and he smiled mischievously. "I bet being away from her is just—"

"29!" Riku called, raising his voice.

"Ack!" Joseph exclaimed. "Don't listen to him! I'm working!" He glared at Riku. "You're evil…"

Riku just chuckled. Joseph's mopping had taken him—most likely purposefully—away from Riku, so they couldn't talk to each other anymore. Not that Riku minded. He was perfectly content with his thoughts.

Like… what _exactly_ was Namine doing, anyway? She'd said it was a surprise, whatever it was. A surprise for him? That seemed very likely, since she'd practically shoved him out of her room when he last tried to talk to her. But why was she making something for him…? She'd never done anything like that before… certainly not to _this_ extent, anyway.

A dark corridor opened all of a sudden. Riku glanced up, tensing slightly, but it was only Axel who stepped out. He relaxed.

"Yo!" Axel said.

Riku raised his hand in a partial wave. Axel nodded at him and then surveyed the room. Riku followed his gaze, trying to decide what he was looking for. Axel seemed to take note of Alpha, who was reading; Amaryllis, who was in one of the corners talking to… Snapdragon; and his eyes lingered on Joseph for a brief second before he turned back to Riku.

"I've got some good news," Axel continued. "Saix will, most likely, not be attempting to kidnap Namine anymore."

"_That_ seems like a godsend," Alpha mused, glancing up from his book. "What's the bad news?"

"None, that I'm aware of," Axel replied. "The Organization's just had a change of plans, that's all, and… if things go well… they might not even need the Program anymore."

"Seriously, Axel, what's the bad news?" Riku asked.

"There is none."

Alpha frowned. "What has the Organization changed their plans _to?_"

Axel shook his head. "Now, _that_ I can't give you details on," he said. "But… that reminds me… I'll have to apologize…"

Riku's eyes narrowed. "For what?"

"Hey! I just mopped there!" Joseph cried, as the sound of lesser Nobodies appearing filled the room.

"That," Axel said.

Riku sat up straighter, quickly scanning the room, taking in exactly what they were facing. There were plenty of Dusks. No Berserkers. He could count five Assassins. Six Dragoons. At least two Snipers. None of them had started attacking, yet, though the Snipers were already taking aim.

"Joseph!" he called. Joseph quickly made his way over, using the mop to push a few Dusks out of his way.

"Yeah?"

"Go make sure Namine's safe, will you?"

Before he could get an answer, about a dozen dark corridors opened, and immediately the lesser Nobodies started attacking.

"And that," Axel called, over the slight chaos.

Riku was on his feet now, surveying the room very quickly, before he could get attacked. He spotted quite a few Marluxia Replicas. One Lexaeus Replica. And… was that a pair of Larxene Replicas on the other side of the room? He couldn't tell, though, because it was then that something hit him in the shoulder. A bullet.

One of Xigbar's.

Before he could even turn to locate Xigbar, another bullet hit him. Furious, blade drawn, Riku turned around, and was faced with two Xigbars.

"Hey, Hotshot!" they called in perfect unison.

"Oh, and that, too," Axel said, just loud enough for Riku to hear. Riku ignored him and quickly brought up his blade to block the torrent of bullets that Xigbar and his clone were now shooting at him.

"You _traitor!_" one of the Vexen Replicas called. Was that… 19? It was hard for Riku to tell while he was avoiding bullets. Between the two Xigbars, one of them was always shooting, making deflecting and dodging bullets much harder than usual.

"Sorry," Axel replied. "But the war between you and Saix had come to a stalemate. I found other ways to fill my agenda. Bringing a friend back sounded like a better idea than revenge on Saix. Besides," he laughed slightly, "I couldn't say no to the boss, now I could I?"

"Well, he could've," Xigbar laughed. (At least, Riku decided to call him Xigbar. He actually had no clue which was the real Xigbar and which was the clone.) "It just wouldn't have been a smart idea, is all I'm saying." He threw a glance at his clone as he reloaded his guns.

Xigbar's clone smirked. "Exactly."

Out of the corner of his eye, Riku saw Axel start walking. "External's in the left-hand drawer, right Alpha?" Axel called over his shoulder. Riku turned for a split second, and noticed with a sinking feeling that Axel had a relatively clear path to the Computer Room.

Alpha swore. Had Riku's attention not been demanded by the bullets Xigbar and his clone were still sending at him, he would've noticed that Alpha was noticeably paler than usual. "How did he—someone stop him!" Alpha shouted.

"If you hadn't noticed-" Ah, that was 7, not 19. "None of us are really strong enough to take him!"

"I could… possibly stall him," Amaryllis said, slowly. "But there's a high chance I'd get killed."

Xigbar laughed, then. "Looks like they want you to go after him, Hotshot!" he called, pausing to reload his guns.

The clone followed suite, allowing Riku enough time to turn and see what he was talking about. Sure enough, Alpha, Amaryllis, and 7 were all looking at him expectantly. He glared, and hearing another round of bullets being fired, turned to block them. "I'm busy!" he said, tersely.

Alpha sighed. "I'll at least go see what he's doing…"

"Where's Joseph?" 29 demanded, rushing over.

"Hopefully, out of-" Riku grunted, blocking a few more bullets, "—harm's way." He finished reflecting the last of those bullets, and then shouted: "Are the bullets really necessary?"

"Well, we wouldn't want you ruining anything, now would we?" Xigbar replied, firing off another round of bullets.

"What's that supposed to mean!?"

"Heh. Wouldn't you like to know."

_xXx_

Vexen hadn't paid Axel much attention when he first arrived. In fact, he hadn't even noticed that Axel _had_ arrived, being on the exact opposite side of the room and all. It wasn't until five Dusks and a Dragoon appeared in front of him that he realized something was going on. He quickly destroyed the nearest three Dusks by simply throwing a few icicles at them.

He was about to attack the other two Dusks when the Dragoon threw a lance at him. He quickly summoned his shield to block it, now distracted by the two dark corridors that had opened not ten feet from him. From each stepped a Larxene. He groaned internally and scanned the room before the Larxene's decided he was worth bothering.

It was just like any raid, really, minus the addition of all these lesser Nobodies. Snapdragon was currently locked in combat. Thistle and 29 were being confronted by a Lexaeus Replica, though 29 appeared to be worried about something—most likely Joseph. Vexen finished scanning the room, finding nothing else out of the usual—

Wait a minute. Was that _Xigbar?_ The sound of the bullets certainly sounded the same, though they were doubled. Xigbar's clone was here, also. They were both shooting at Riku. However, Riku seemed to be doing a decent job of protecting himself, so there was no need to worry about that… for now…

But what was going on?

There was… _one_ way to find out.

Vexen turned back to the Larxenes.

"I thought the Larxene Replicas were forbidden from coming to Castle Oblivion," he said, slowly. Asking his initial question up front would've gotten him nowhere, but hopefully he could squeeze the information he wanted out of the Larxenes indirectly.

"Well, usually, yeah," one of the Larxene's said.

"But this is a special occasion!" The other Larxene was practically _brimming_ with excitement. And it wasn't the typical cruel enjoyment kind of excitement that one usually saw on Larxene. It was _cheerful._ Cheerfulness did not suit Larxene, Vexen decided, rather quickly.

"Shut up, T," the first Larxene said.

"You shut up, V," the second replied, a sense of wounded dignity about her.

Vexen blinked a few times. This could be harder than he thought.

"How is _this_ a special occasion?" he asked, hoping for a straight response.

"I don't know!" the all-too-cheerful Larxene replied—T, had she been called? "We weren't given very many details, but this is most _certainly_ a special occasion. What, with the boss in-"

"Shut up!" V snapped.

Boss?

Vexen's eyes widened slightly.

Xemnas?

What in the name of all that was good in the Worlds was _Xemnas_ planning? And was he coming _here?_ Vexen wasn't sure, but it wasn't past him to jump to such conclusions. He swallowed. He should probably tell someone… but he'd have to get away from the Larxenes first.

Actually, first, he'd have to dispose of that Dragoon. It'd thrown another lance at him, and it wouldn't be long before it decided it _really_ wanted to start attacking. The Dusks had gone elsewhere.

Thankfully, it didn't take more than a blast or so of ice to get rid of the Dragoon.

"Awh, does the ickle little Vexen Replica not like having things thrown at him?" T—the all-too-cheerful Larxene—asked. Her tone was mainly mocking, though, which made her sound more like the typical Larxene. Vexen frowned slightly at being called a Replica, but… why get into complications?

"Don't call me that," he said, flatly. Even if he didn't mind much at being called a Replica, he certainly did not enjoy being called "ickle" or "little". The Larxenes were beginning to push his tolerance.

"Why not?" V taunted, smiling for once this whole time. It was a cruel smile—something he was definitely used to seeing on Larxene.

That reminded him…

Vexen turned and scanned the room again. Sure enough, a certain pair of people was indeed lacking.

"37 and L aren't here," he mused, quietly. He wasn't sure if he should be worried or relieved. On the bright side, they weren't here. However… _why_ weren't they? The likeliness of this being any sort of a regular raid was quickly dwindling.

V gagged. She looked about ready to lose her lunch. "Ugck! Just mentioning them makes me feel sick…"

"Of _course_ they aren't here!" T said, her cheerfulness returning. "What use would they be? Besides, Saix isn't very happy with them. And, rumor has it, Xemnas isn't very happy with Saix." She giggled at the thought. "Anyway even if those two _were_ here, they wouldn't be doing anything different than what we're doing."

"And what is that?"

Surprisingly, T replied to his very direct question with a straight answer. "Being a distraction. To make sure Riku doesn't screw anything up."

"Don't see why we're needed…" V sighed. "Xigbar and his clone seem to be doing a fine job of keeping Riku occupied."

Vexen spared a glance in that direction. Sure enough, Riku was still deflecting bullets, and appeared incapable of doing much else, lest he get hit. That was… good. Provided Xigbar and his clone didn't decide to do anything besides shoot bullets. Provided no one else came up and attacked Riku while he was distracted. Provided the two Larxenes standing here didn't get bored and decide that they were going to bother Riku anyway, despite it being unnecessary.

Of course, if they _did_ go bother Riku, there wasn't a likely chance they'd live very long.

However… two Larxenes and two Xigbars. Even for Riku, those odds did not look very good.

And—

Vexen froze.

_"I'd do anything to make sure she does not touch him, does not harm him, does not go anywhere near him again!"_

His heart thudded a time or two in his chest. Blasted thing. Blasted emotions. One would think that he would've gotten used to such things over the past year. (Had it been a year for him? Less?) But regardless of how used to emotions he may or may not have gotten, this feeling of hasty protectiveness was one emotion Vexen didn't entirely like.

Still, though…

His eyes narrowed.

They were going to get themselves killed anyway.


	143. Two

I forgot to mention last chapter, but you can thank Cookie for this sequence. He was the one who talked me into this idea. Aha.

Music suggestions: "All the Kings Horses" and "Norwegian Pirate", both by Two Steps from hell

**Update Feb 2014: **ASAS ch43 has extra content for this chapter

* * *

><p>"And just what are <em>you<em> doing?" Axel asked, glancing up from digging through the desk drawers in the Computer Room.

"Following you," Alpha replied, firmly. "Trying to see what you're up to."

"I already told you what I'm up to!" Axel said with a wave of his hand, as he closed one drawer and opened another. "The external _is_ in one of these drawers, isn't it?"

"Like I'm going to tell you…" Alpha muttered.

"Valid," Axel sighed. "Aha! There it is!" He pulled the external out from under a mess of papers, and smiled at it triumphantly. "Can't tell you how much trouble I'd be in if I couldn't have found this thing."

Alpha positioned himself in the doorway so that Axel couldn't slip past. He summoned his lexicon to him, though he wasn't quite sure _what_ he would do if he had to use it. Besides, fighting Axel didn't sound very appealing…

"Oh, don't do that," Axel said, as he straightened and saw where Alpha was standing. "It doesn't have to be that complicated."

Alpha held out his hand. "The external," he demanded.

Axel laughed and slipped the external into his pocket. "Don't think so," he said. "I already mentioned how much trouble I'd be in if I didn't have this, didn't I? Now get out of my way."

"The external," Alpha repeated, standing his ground.

"Alpha, really, I don't want to hurt you." Axel summoned a bit of fire to his fingertips. "But you're not giving me another choice."

Alpha swallowed. "The external, Axel," he said, one last time.

Axel threw the fire at him.

Alpha's sense of self-preservation kicked in and he dove out of the way before the fire could hit him, though he felt the heat of it on his skin as he moved. He lost his balance and ended up on the ground, though he quickly pushed himself up.

Axel let out a long breath as he stepped out of the computer room. "Listen, as long you stay out of our way, there really is no reason for any of you to get hurt," he said, turning away from Alpha and starting down the hall. "Most everyone here is under the orders to be a distraction, not to kill. Though, if someone does get hurt…" He paused for a second, shrugged and shook his head. "I can't be held accountable, now can I?"

Alpha grunted, rising to his feet. He started to go after Axel, but three Assassins stopped him.

"Keep him from following me," Axel commanded, starting off again.

The Assassins proved to be more of a barrier than a nuisance. Alpha could destroy one, but another would be there to immediately take its place. However, provided he didn't attempt to follow Axel, they didn't attack him.

Figuring the Assassins weren't _that_ worth it, Alpha ducked back into the Computer Room. He could always just check the Security Cameras to see where Axel was heading.

_xXx_

Fighting the Larxenes turned out not to be too hard. The lightning was easy to block with his shield, and even the few times Vexen did get hit, the amount of lightning wasn't even that large. He'd been hit by accidental bolts of lightning from the Larxene in his universe before, and those were much more painful.

At any rate, it wasn't long before both of the Larxenes were dead. Vexen sighed and banished his shield, only to rethink that and summon it again. There were still plenty of lesser Nobodies milling about, and a relatively unoccupied Marluxia Replica not far from him. He started making his way towards the corner in which Riku was in, hoping to figure out what was going on.

Making his way to the other side of the room, however, proved to be much easier said than done. A few Dragoons or Assassins would demand his attention before he could get far and he'd have to take care of them before he could continue. (The Dusks tried to get in his way, too, but, they were just Dusks, so they weren't hard to get rid of.)

_What has Xemnas got planned? _Vexen thought, worriedly.

_I mean, I'm only assuming that he's involved in this, but—this is most certainly not a regular raid. And that Larxene. She mentioned Xemnas, did she not?_

_ The other Larxene silenced her awfully quickly…_

Vexen finished with the pair of Assassins he was dealing with, but before he could get more than three steps, a Sniper and a Dragoon got in his way.

_That alone, however, is reason enough to assume that Xemnas _is_ involved in this._

_ So what is he planning?_

He almost found it funny, that this was happening now. Had he not just been thinking about Xemnas and the Rebellion the other day? He had—before he'd panicked about Ienzo—been wondering why nothing had been done to stop the Rebellion yet, as he'd never known Xemnas to tolerate treachery.

_Maybe that is what's going on now, _Vexen thought, dread filling him.

_Though, after all this time, why pick _now_ to deal with the Rebellion? Why not sooner?_

_ Besides, one would assume that he'd send stronger people if he was intending to quash the Rebellion now. Or, at the very least, _more_ people._

_ The most intimidating person—people—in this room is Xigbar (and his clone, of course)._

_ And there is that Lexaeus Replica… Is that a Replica?_

Vexen grimaced.

_No. No I don't think that is Lexaeus himself…_

He finished the Sniper off with a blow from his shield, now that he was close enough to hit it, and then sent another blast of ice at the Dragoon. The attack did damage (of course it did damage), but it didn't kill the Dragoon.

Vexen was a bit distracted, though.

_Goodness, I hope Snapdragon is alright. He appears to be just fine taking on both the Lexaeus and a Marluxia at once… but…_

He quickly shook the thought of helping from his head.

_No! I am working my way over to Riku!_

_ Though, working my way over to Riku is hard when all these lesser Nobodies keep getting in my way. Really… I can barely take two steps!_

In fact, he'd gotten about four and a half steps before a few Dusks (three) and an Assassin got in his way. Thankfully the Dusks weren't hard to get rid of. Vexen took this moment while he was absent-mindedly disposing of said Dusks to observe the situation.

_Amaryllis and 7—I'm heading in their general direction—are working on that group of lesser Nobodies near Riku (which appears to be comprised of mainly Assassins). Riku's still blocking bullets to save his neck; Xigbar and his clone have not relented at all. They must be under orders to keep Riku distracted. _

_Thistle was fighting Dragoons, last I checked. Snapdragon is miraculously holding his own against a Lexaeus and a Marluxia. There's that other Marluxia Replica I passed who wasn't fighting anyone…_

He scanned the room, seeing what else was going on, as he moved to fighting the Assassin.

_Let's see, 29 is dealing with a few Assassin not far from Riku—there are an awful lot of Assassins in that general area. He doesn't seem as flustered as he did last time I saw him, so he must've discovered Joseph's whereabouts._

_ And then, over in that corner, there are a Marluxia and a Vexen dueling. I think that Vexen is 25. Unless the Marluxia is on our side… I'm too far from either of them to tell who they are._

Now the Assassin was gone, but he'd gotten about five steps (actually, it was closer to six) before three more Assassins showed up. He skirted past them, and finished crossing the distance between himself and Amaryllis (and 7).

"What is going on?" he asked.

Amaryllis finished off the Assassin he was fighting before looking up at Vexen. It was 7 who responded, though.

"Axel's betrayed us," 7 explained.

_Well, that explains everything, _Vexen thought. _If he's betrayed us, then all this is probably an attempt to go after the Program—we just have more than Saix involved this time._

_ Axel—pah._

_It was really only a matter of time before he turned out to be a traitor._

"What'd he do?" Vexen asked. "I assume all this-" he gestured at the fighting around them, "-is thanks to him."

"It is," Amaryllis said, taking out another Assassin.

"He's gone after the external, too," 7 said. "He said something about…" 7 shook his head as he encased one of the Assassins in a block of ice. "I don't remember."

"He knew where the external was?" Vexen groaned.

"Apparently," 7 replied.

Amaryllis attacked the frozen solid Assassin, killing it almost instantly.

"And none of you tried to stop Axel?" Vexen asked.

Amaryllis snorted. "Us? Take on _Axel?_" He rolled his eyes. "Snapdragon might've survived, but the rest of us were practically built to be weaker than most Organization members. And since Riku's busy…"

Remembering that Snapdragon was currently taking on a Lexaeus and a Marluxia single-handedly, Vexen wasn't surprised by Amaryllis's comment concerning him. Now, as for Riku…

_He's too busy blocking bullets to do anything else…_

_ Like I already said, Xigbar (and his clone) are most likely under orders to keep him distracted. I mean, the fact that they have not attacked anyone else in the room alone is reason enough to believe that._

_ Now… if we could distract Xigbar (and his clone), for long enough that Riku could slip away and go after Axel…_

He couldn't help but do a few calculations in his head as he formulated the plan. Axel had probably left a while ago, meaning Riku had to _catch up_ to him. Also, there was the _very high_ chance that the Xigbars would just go after Riku, as they'd been ordered to focus on him. But... there _was_ a chance of keeping them both (or at least one…) of them distracted long enough for Riku to get away.

He quickly explained his plan to 7 and Amaryllis, and then put himself between Riku and the next round of bullets that… one of the Xigbars fired off. Vexen couldn't quite tell the two apart (and, honestly, it bugged him).

"Go! After Axel!" Vexen hissed, before Riku could demand an explanation from him.

_Because, knowing Riku, he would want to know exactly why I'm bothering to protect him…_

_ I hope he'll be glad to know that I'm only doing it because—_

The sound of bullets making contact with Riku's blade interrupted his thoughts. He glanced over his shoulder at Riku, and found that Riku was glaring at him.

"Oh, I'd love to go after Axel," Riku said, sarcastically. "But I'm kind of still blocking bullets."

_xXx_

Was Riku surprised that Vexen was suddenly blocking bullets for him? Kind of. Then again, since they _all _wanted him to go after Axel and all…

_Not like Vexen's plan is working… _Riku thought, as the other Xigbar warped so that Vexen was no longer in his way and shot at him again. Riku prepared his blade to block, but found he didn't need to. 7 had it covered.

The second Xigbar fired off a round of bullets, but these were blocked by Amaryllis.

"Get going!" Amaryllis said. "We'll cover you."

_Well, alright, maybe this will work._

Riku started running, ears strained for the sound of bullets that might be coming towards him. But, between Vexen, 7, and Amaryllis, they were able to keep any bullets from hitting him.

At least, for a bit.

"Alright, we see how it is!" one of the Xigbars called, reloading his guns. He fired off a round of bullets, then warped to a different spot, fired off another round, and warped again. Vexen somehow managed to block both of the rounds. However, the other Xigbar did the exact same action at the same time, and 7 only managed to block one round, leaving Amaryllis to get the other. So when the first Xigbar fired a round of bullets, no one was there to block them, and Riku had to block them himself.

"How's that working for you?" the second Xigbar laughed. He warped to a different position, and shot off a round of bullets. Vexen blocked those.

While the first Xigbar was shooting at 7 and Amaryllis, and the second Xigbar was reloading, Riku took off at a run.

"Hey, not so fast!" one of the Xigbars shouted, and a dark corridor opened not far from Riku's ear. Riku quickly ducked before a stream of bullets shot out of it, and then rolled to keep moving. Once he was on his feet, Riku formed a dark corridor around himself, hoping to get as close to the Computer Room as he could—of course, that was only just into the hallway that lead to the Computer Room.

He emerged from the dark corridor and quickly scrambled backwards. One of the Xigbars had managed to get there quicker than him, and was hanging upside down in mid-air, grinning about three inches from his face.

"Where do you think you're going?" Xigbar asked.

Riku glared and took another three steps backwards. Xigbar was blocking his path, and there was no way to slip past him—the hallway behind him was corridor-proofed to make reaching the Computer Room more challenging.

_Nice plan, Vexen, but it isn't working out… like usual…_

Riku sighed, and brought his blade up to block the next round of bullets that were shot at him.


	144. Three

Mmm... not much to say!

**Music suggestion:** "Swords Crossed" from the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack, and "Dreams of the Dead (Choir ver.)" by Two Steps from Hell.

* * *

><p>"Well… now what?" 7 asked, turning to Vexen. The plan had worked, to an extent, but what were they supposed to do now? Xigbar—one of them, anyway—was blocking Riku's path to the Computer Room.<p>

"We… uhm…" Vexen let out a long breath. "I don't know."

"Right," Amaryllis said. "I'll go help Snapdragon."

"I'm good!" Snapdragon called, before Amaryllis could even move. "Go get Ivy!" He nodded as best as he could in the direction of a relatively unoccupied Marluxia Replica over in the corner.

Amaryllis didn't need to be told twice.

"It was a good plan," 7 assured Vexen, whose eyes were fixed on Riku—who was still blocking bullets. Now that there was no one getting in their way, the Xigbars had returned their attention to Riku.

"It would've worked if there weren't two of them…" Vexen muttered.

_Yes, it probably would've, _7 admitted to himself, as he started focusing on the lesser Nobodies around them (there were quite a few Dusks in the immediate vicinity for some reason). _Then again, this is Xigbar we're talking about…_

Sure that the enemies nearest him weren't a terrible threat, 7 started scanning the room for injuries (silently thanking whoever might be listening that Xigbar and his clone were focusing their attention on Riku as he did so). Snapdragon was injured, not entirely surprisingly; the Marluxia—Bloodroot, if 7 was correct—that he was fighting had managed to slice his arm open, from the looks of things. It wasn't a major injury, but an injury none the less.

7 also didn't doubt that Snapdragon would have various bruises and sores come tomorrow, given the fact he was fighting a Lexaeus. Snapdragon never seemed to mind those things, though. He enjoyed the thrill (and even the pain) of battle.

Thankfully, besides Snapdragon, no one seemed to be injured beyond unavoidable and relatively un-healable bruises. There might've been a few scrapes, too, but Organization cloaks were fairly sturdy and usually prevented such things.

Oh wait. 41 had just been stabbed by a Dragoon—that was the lesser Nobody that Xaldin controlled, right? Regardless, at least the lance had only gone through 41's arm… 7 cringed anyway.

_How much longer should it be, before we're done here?_

_ Well… Xigbar and his clone are unquestionably under orders to keep Riku distracted. For how long? Long enough for Axel to do whatever it is he needs to do, right?_

_ That shouldn't be too much longer then._

_ Then again…_

7's stomach plummeted.

_Axel went after the external. If he has that, he has the Database, and we _don't._ Which means… no Repair Program._

He shifted nervously, and took out a nearing Assassin to distract himself from that thought. He forced his attention elsewhere. He'd worry about just whether or not they had the Repair Program later…

_Though we probably don't… _his thoughts couldn't help but point out.

_I knew it wasn't a good idea to wipe the Database! We should've at least put it on more than one external, to be sure that we didn't lose it. _

_ I hate having to resort to basic first aid._

_ I mean, Snapdragon's cut shouldn't be hard to bandage. But 41's arm is going to need more attention…_

7 took out another Assassin with a blast of ice.

_It can't be much longer… _he assured himself. _Just a few more minutes before Axel's retrieved the external, and then they'll all go. Then I'll worry about wounds and other such things. For now, I need to focus on battle, or I'll—_

The sound of a dark corridor opening distracted him.

7 turned, wondering who it could possibly be, and his heart just about stopped.

_xXx_

Riku was perfectly content with blocking bullets, for the most part. Sure, his wrist might hurt some come tomorrow, but otherwise, there was hardly a feasible way he'd be injured. At least, provided the Xigbars didn't actually start fighting.

Riku wasn't sure if he should be flattered that he was considered such a threat that he needed to be kept distracted, or if he should be offended because it was hardly taking the Xigbars any effort to keep him distracted.

_Then again, _he admitted silently to himself. _It's not like _I'm_ really trying, either._

He finished deflecting the last of this set of bullets, and prepared to block the next set, only to find they didn't come. A dark corridor had opened about dead center of the room, and, almost immediately, all signs of battle stopped. Even Xigbar and his clone had stopped shooting, for the moment. One of them, though, still had one of his guns trained on Riku.

Riku slowly turned to see what/who it was that everyone transfixed, hoping that his peripherals were lying to him. He doubted they were, and, unfortunately, they weren't. It was exactly who he thought it was—though he was at a loss as to _why_ they were here.

It was Xemnas.

Leader of the Organization himself.

Riku swallowed.

One of the Xigbars warped to stand—if you could call it standing while he was upside down—not far from Xemnas. The two of them exchanged looks, and though they said nothing out loud (at least, not that Riku could hear), they almost seemed to be communicating.

_Well… now what?_

Riku wasn't scared. Worried, maybe. Not scared. Xemnas was intimidating, of course, but that didn't mean Riku was scared. In fact—

Riku paused before he readied himself to attack. Someone was running. He could hear them. He glanced over his shoulder to see who it was, and found that the spot Vexen had been occupying mere seconds ago was now vacant.

Vexen had run off.

Riku wasn't sure what to think.

But, now that he had looked in that direction, he realized that the way to the Computer Room was wide open. His eyes narrowed, thinking.

_Xigbar and his clone aren't shooting at me at the moment._

_ Everyone in the room has gone silent._

_ I could probably slip to the Computer Room without anyone noticing—_

He paused, hearing the faint sound of a gun being reloaded. He turned back to the Xigbars, and then grimaced. The one closer to Xemnas now had one gun trained on him, and the look on his face clearly said: "try and I'll shoot."

_Alright… well…_

Riku turned his attention to Xemnas again, and, to his surprise, he saw Xigbar—he was actually, for some reason, pretty sure that this was the real Xigbar, all of a sudden—lower his gun ever so slightly. Riku frowned, and his hand tightened on his blade.

The look Xigbar was giving him now he didn't like it all. It wasn't threatening. It was daring. Smug, even. He could almost hear Xigbar laughing: _go ahead! I dare you!_

"Hmh." Riku tightened his grip on his blade, eyes darting over to see what the other Xigbar was doing. The look on his face was identical. Daring. Smug. _Go ahead._

It was that look that made Riku decide not to go after Xemnas. What would it accomplish, anyway? This was _Xemnas._ There was no way attacking him would get him anywhere—at least, not anywhere he needed to be in the next few minutes.

So, Riku feigned preparing for an attack, half-launched himself in Xemnas's direction, and then turned and ran for the Computer Room, hoping that he'd caught the Xigbars off guard—

He hadn't.

Riku quickly ducked, spun around, and brought up his blade to block the bullets that would have otherwise hit him in the head.

_Yay,_ he thought, sarcastically. _Back to blocking bullets._

And to make things worse, one of the Xigbars had now positioned himself between Riku and the Computer Room.

_I should've gone after Xemnas…_

_xXx_

Amaryllis was prepared to block one of Ivy's attacks, when the sound of a dark corridor opening registered in his ears. Ivy suddenly stopped attacking. Confused, and slightly worried, Amaryllis turned to see who had stepped out of the dark corridor.

He was _very_ surprised to see none other than the leader of the Organization himself.

_What in the Worlds is _Xemnas_ doing here? _he wondered.

Xemnas wasn't even doing anything at the moment. He was just standing there, surveying the room, with what Amaryllis assumed was a smug look on his face. But why was he even here?

_Was this what Axel was planning? Part of it? But why drag Xemnas into this?_

_ What did Axel even say he was doing, anyway? I really didn't catch that. Alpha and Riku were the only two people who were even near enough to hear him properly._

Amaryllis wanted to groan and rub his head out of frustration, but breaking the silence that had settled in the room seemed blasphemous. Everyone else had stopped fighting—even Snapdragon, for the moment—but, then again, it wasn't every day that you saw the Organization's Number 1 out and about and standing in the middle of a place you might call home.

_What do I do?_

_ Since no one's doing anything, maybe now would be a good time to attack._

_ But… attack who?_

_ I don't think attacking any of the fighters sent here would be beneficial. There would be a brief moment where we'd—or at least _I'd_—have the element of surprise, but what would it do? I'm the only one attacking, and…_

His eyes flickered about the room, planning, strategizing. He might not be the best fighter here, but he was the only good fighter on the Rebellion's side that also doubled as a decent leader; Riku and Snapdragon, though excellent fighters, lacked leaderships skills. And if you wanted a leader in battle—whether it was against Replicas sent by Saix in a raid, or if you were the ones doing the raiding—then you would want someone who was capable of keeping everyone relatively organized and moving.

Which left you with Amaryllis. At least, in these circumstances.

After taking note of where everyone was, Amaryllis returned to his attention to Xemnas.

_I suppose I could attack Xemnas,_ he thought. _Not that it'd necessarily be a smart idea. But, if I could get Snapdragon's attention, and—never mind, Xigbar's still shooting at Riku. But maybe if me and Snapdragon… it's a longshot, certainly—_

Amaryllis's eyes widened and his thoughts came to a screeching halt as he noticed Snapdragon heft his scythe. Take a step toward Xemnas. Xemnas was looking in Xigbar's direction. He wouldn't—theoretically—see Snapdragon coming.

Combined and properly coordinated, their efforts might've done something. Alone, however—

_Oh Snapdragon, don't!_

Amaryllis wanted to scream.

But it was too late.

Xemnas turned. There was a blur of movement. Snapdragon went flying, landing roughly on the ground and skidding back a few feet. His scythe spun out of reach before vanishing, and if Amaryllis was seeing things properly, Snapdragon was now bleeding quite a bit. Being Snapdragon, however, he tried to push himself up—

Only to collapse. He didn't try to move again. The injury must've been bad, if it kept Snapdragon down.

_What do I do, now?! _Amaryllis thought, a sense of panic creeping into him.

_Snapdragon's down. Riku's distracted. There are no other good fighters in the room, and now there's a Lexaeus and Bloodroot who are now unoccupied. And what do we do about Xemnas? _

_xXx_

_Xemnas is here._

That was the one thought that kept returning to 7's mind, and a deeper sense of dread accompanied it each time. However, he supposed it was preferable to the other thought that crossed his mind as he stood there, practically paralyzed with his own terror—a funny thing, that terror was. What use was an emotion like that?

_We're doomed._

Because, how could they not be doomed, if the leader of the Organization was here? What other reason would he be here for, if not to eliminate them or do something otherwise horrible? Xemnas could be plotting to rewrite them, for all 7 knew.

And Axel was going after the external, a.k.a. the half of the Program that the Organization didn't have. If Xemnas had the full Program… what could he do, then? Something dreadful, certainly. 7 wouldn't know; he was only a Medic.

_And there is still that possibility he's here to destroy us…_

_ It doesn't surprise me. The only thing that surprises me about that—_

_ Wait a minute._

_ Snapdragon, what are you doing!?_

7 cringed and turned away, not particularly wanting to see Snapdragon annihilated on the spot. To his immense relief Xemnas didn't actually kill Snapdragon, as 7 realized about 2.3 seconds later, when he heard Snapdragon groan in pain. He turned to find that Snapdragon was on the ground, and he was bleeding.

_Xemnas is here…_

That thought still rang through his head. What did re-thinking it do any good?

_Snapdragon is injured. Badly._

_ Oh, Snapdragon, don't get up! You'll only make matters worse!_

7 sighed.

_I should go to him._

_ But._

_ Xemnas…_

And there was that other thought that kept repeating itself in his head:

_We're doomed._

How could they not be doomed, when Xemnas was capable of doing _that_ much damage in a single hit?

_Then again… he didn't kill Snapdragon, and I know he could've. Does he want us alive…?_

But that thought was only worse.

_How are we getting out of this?_

_ Axel's gone after the external and the Organization might as well have the full Program. Snapdragon might not live much longer, and I don't believe I have any way of healing him. If we don't have the external, we don't have the Database, and thus don't have the Repair Program._

Doomed. They were most certainly doomed.

_Even if we did have the Repair Program, I'd have to get Snapdragon to a computer… and Xemnas is in the room…_

7 had never felt so useless in his life. Well, no, that was a lie. He'd certainly felt like this before—it just had been accompanied with less terror. Terror had a nasty way of making everything seem so much more important.

_I can't do anything._

_ Not with Xemnas here._

_ When is he going to leave? Or is he just going to stand there and terrify us all. What does that achieve? I suppose keeping us paralyzed with our own fear gives Axel more time to retrieve the external or whatever it is he's doing, but…_

_ Just leave already, won't you? We already realize it's hopeless; stop flaunting it by just standing there like you've already won!_

7 could just imagine a smug look on Xemnas's face as he surveyed the room again. No one else dared move (besides Riku and the Xigbars), as if afraid they'd be attacked, too. After a moment, Xemnas made his way towards the Computer Room. No one moved to stop him. All in his way (there were few) quickly got out of the way. 7 backed up a few paces himself, even though he was a good distance away from Xemnas.

Once Xemnas had left the room, it was like everyone let out a sigh of relief. Even those with Xemnas (Xigbar and his clone excluded) seemed relieved that he was gone.

Of course, the relief lasted about 1.4 seconds before the fighting began again.


	145. Four

no music suggestions for this chapter! Sorry! (There's not enough battle going on)

Also sorry if it's late! I don't think it's late... I was having an identity crisis-or, Pit was having an identity crisis and now Palutena's gone crazy. (Playing Kid Icarus: Uprising and they all just threw me for a loop and I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON *sobs*)

* * *

><p>Vexen Replica 26 was currently waiting with the Computer on Floor 13 for Axel to arrive with the external hard drive that apparently had the Database on it. Of course, it made perfect sense that the Rebellion had backed up the Database before wiping it—any Vexen would be appalled at the thought of losing so much data. It just didn't quite make sense that Axel just-so-happened to know where said external was. Had the Rebellion seriously been stupid enough to tell him?<p>

Then again… Axel had his own ways of finding out the things he wanted to know.

26 rubbed his neck at the thought; it still hurt from when Axel had held a chakram to his throat and demanded that he help with this stupid plot of his.

Pity there weren't very many Replicas who knew how to use the Program to its full extent. If there were, then 26 wouldn't have to be caught up in this mess. However, there were only few Replicas who were entrusted with the knowledge of Master Vexen's Program, and there were even fewer that were still alive. 26 was one of those few, and he couldn't think of any others that Axel could've located.

Well, there _was_ 37, but 26 didn't blame Axel for not going to _him_ for help.

26 sighed and silently wished that he was anywhere but here right now. Yes, this plan of Axel's _might_ actually work, but there were a million chances it wouldn't. At least, there were a million chances it wouldn't go to Axel's liking, and another million chances that it wouldn't go to Xemnas's liking—26 cursed Axel for even dragging Xemnas into this—and, of course, when things went wrong, both of them would blame 26. 26 wasn't very keen on being around for that.

If only he could've convinced Axel that this _wasn't_ going to work…

"Good, you're already here!"

Speak of the devil…

26 slowly turned to Axel. "Do you have the external?" he asked. No sense delaying things. The sooner this was over with, the better.

Axel pulled the external out of his pocket and tossed it to 26. 26 caught it with fumbling hands. It was a good thing he'd managed to catch that. Shouldn't Axel have known better than to throw valuable pieces of technology? If this broke, they'd be without a Database…

"You sure this is the right external?"

"Why don't you plug it into the computer and find out?"

26 let out a breath and headed over to the Computer. He plugged the external in, and then waited for the Computer to recognize its software. It didn't take long, thankfully. Now, to pull up the Database…

He frowned.

"That's weird," he muttered, eyes narrowing at the computer screen.

"What?" Axel asked, sounding a bit worried.

26 shook his head. The problem was gone, now.

"Must've been a glitch in the system," he said. "Nothing to worry about, everything's fine."

_Still… for a second there, _he thought. _It was almost as if this computer didn't have… But that's impossible, really._

_ No matter. It's all working now._

"Good," Axel said. "Can we get started?"

"Not without Xemnas," 26 replied. "He wanted to oversee this, remember?"

"Right." Axel made his way over to the doors and examined them for a moment. "Now… how do you lock these things?"

"You don't." 26 chuckled. "Besides, you weren't planning on locking Xemnas out, were you?"

"No, of course I wasn't planning—_what do you mean you can't lock these doors!?_"

"This room has no security," 26 explained, still smiling to himself. Here was another of those holes in Axel's plan. "It's not like it's needed, when few people know Master Vexen's passwords, and even fewer know how to use his Program."

"But how are we going to keep the Rebellion out?" Axel asked. "They won't be distracted forever—Xigbar and his clone can only do so much."

26's smile widened. He pointedly didn't turn to Axel so the smile wouldn't be noticed. "I guess one of us will have to stand guard," he said.

"That means… _me,_" Axel said, slowly. "No. No, I can't! I need to help you out with this, don't I?"

"Not necessarily," 26 replied, turning to Axel now. "But if you want to so badly, then feel free to tell Xemnas that _he_ has to guard the doors."

Even if he didn't particularly want to be here, it was certainly worth it just to see the look on Axel's face right now.

"Oh, but why does it have to be _me?_" Axel groaned. "Can't… someone else…" He sighed, then glared at 26. "You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?"

26 didn't say anything, but mainly because he didn't have a chance to. Xemnas walked into the room just about then.

"Is everything ready?" Xemnas asked.

"Yes, sir," 26 and Axel replied, near simultaneously.

"Good."

_xXx_

"What are they doing?" Alpha muttered, as he stared at the computer screen. He'd followed Axel via security footage to the Computer on Floor 13. Now Axel and a Vexen Replica—Alpha believed it to be 26—were discussing something. Alpha wasn't certain as to what they were talking about, though; the audio wasn't working for some reason. Maybe 26 had jammed it.

"Though why he didn't just jam surveillance entirely…"

The sound of footsteps—those of someone running, to be exact—interrupted his musing. He glanced up, wondering who it was, and found Vexen in the doorway.

Vexen was panting and out of breath. "Xemnas is here!" he managed to gasp, and there was a certain level of panic—possibly more properly defined as terror—in his voice. That same emotion—be it panic or terror or both—was reflected in his eyes.

Alpha raised his eyebrows. "He is?"

Vexen nodded, eyes fixed on the computer screen. "Yes, he came in and—_how'd he get there so fast!?_"

Alpha turned to the computer screen, and was surprised to see Xemnas conversing with 26 and Axel. Rather, Axel and Xemnas were talking, while 26 typed away on the Computer. But, still…

"I-" he began.

"Why are there Assassins outside?" Vexen asked, before he could finish.

Alpha sighed. "The Assassins are there to keep me from following Axel," he explained. "I'm surprised they're still there, really; I thought they had shorter attention spans." He shrugged. "As for Xemnas… well… how long did it take you to get here?"

"Uhm…" It took Vexen a second to come up with an answer. He seemed rather flustered. "Two minutes, tops, I suppose. I doubt it was even that."

"Maybe he didn't stay in the Main Room for very long," Alpha said. "It's really nothing to—"

"_What is he even doing here!?_" Vexen asked, voice shaking, and he pointed at the computer screen to further emphasize that he was talking about Xemnas.

"Vexen, calm down!"

Vexen opened his mouth as if to protest, but then thought better of the idea and shut his mouth again. Alpha breathed a sigh of relief.

"Listen, I don't know what they're doing, or why Xemnas is here," Alpha explained, a bit of annoyance in his voice. "I'm not all knowing! And there's only so much the security cameras can tell me, especially when the audio's not working."

"The audio's not working?" Vexen frowned. "That's… convenient."

"It's probably been jammed."

Vexen took a breath, probably to calm himself further, and then asked. "Any ideas of what they _might_ be doing?"

Alpha shook his head.

Vexen sighed and glanced at the computer, thinking. "_Though_…" he said, after a moment, and he turned back to Alpha. His eyes were lit up; something must've just occurred to him. "_Can_ they do anything? I thought… I thought that it was impossible to do anything drastic without the Main Computer. Otherwise, they would've done something already."

"Well, that's true," Alpha agreed, his stomach sinking.

_But…_ his thoughts added.

"Then…" Vexen laughed slightly—somewhere between nervous and excited, from the sounds of it. "Then they can't do anything, can they? They don't have the Main Computer!"

"Actually…" Alpha tried, but Vexen wasn't listening.

"The Main Computer's _here_. Not there!"

"It doesn't matter what computer you're at, provided you have the Main Computer functions," Alpha said, quickly, before Vexen could get any more confident.

Vexen slowly gave him a sideways look. "You put the Main Computer functions on the external, didn't you?"

"I… thought it would be nice to have a backup," Alpha admitted. "Is there anything wrong in that?"

"I suppose not, but it doesn't matter. Axel knew where the external was." Vexen groaned and started mumbling things under his breath. Something about incompetence and… Alpha couldn't catch the rest. He chewed his lip, trying to fight back his annoyance.

"You could've at least put it somewhere safer," Vexen said.

"That's not _my_ fault!" Alpha protested. "How was I supposed to know that Axel knew where it was? It's not like I _told_ him! I mean, I guess someone else could've—not that I have any idea who, since few people knew where it was to begin with—but can you blame them? He was very convincingly pretending he was on our side!"

Vexen snorted. "You should've known he'd turn out to be a filthy double-crosser."

"He fooled even _you,_ if I remember correctly," Alpha retorted, rolling his eyes.

Vexen held his hands up in defense. "Not my fault. I was hoping he was merely betraying the Organization, here, instead of betraying us—who are technically the traitors." He made a face. "Well, you are. I'm not from this universe, so I'm not a traitor, really. No doubt that they'd kill me anyway, if they found me." He was rambling now, speaking more to himself than anyone else. "Though, if they knew just _who_ I was… Mercy. Xemnas might force me into taking charge of the Replica Program."

"That could be a good thing," Alpha said.

Vexen didn't seem to think the same. "No, I-" He shook his head. "Not for you. I wouldn't- I probably would just run to the other universe, the moment they got a hold of me. Make sure they couldn't find me. The tactic works, and—"

"Are you saying that you're a coward?" Alpha interrupted, smiling.

"Well, I—" Vexen began, a bit flustered.

"You're as much of a filthy coward as Axel is a filthy double-crosser. Admit it."

Vexen straightened, trying to look more confident as he defended himself. "I have a high sense of self-preservation," he said. "Besides, would you _want_ Xehanort to force me to, I don't know, _Replicate_ him? How would you like six Xehanort Replicas walking around the Worlds, hmm?"

Alpha frowned. "Xehanort?"

"Xemnas. Whatever. Same person."

Alpha started to question further, but Vexen started talking again before he had the chance.

"Can we stop them?" he asked. "This computer still functions as the Main Computer, does it not?"

"Mm… Yes, it does… but I can't stop them if I don't know what they're doing."

"Can you lock them out of that computer?"

Alpha shook his head. "Not from here."

"Worth a shot…" Vexen muttered. He started mumbling under his breath again, but Alpha didn't bother listening this time. He turned his attention back to the computer screen, thinking.

_"As long as you stay out of our way, there really is no reason for any of you to get hurt."_

Axel's words still rang in his ears.

Alpha bit his lip.

_I can't… _seriously_ be considering doing nothing! _he told himself, a bit appalled at the fact he had been considering such. _They have the external!_

_ They have the full Program!_

_ They…_

He paused, and let out a long breath. Defeat was heavy in the air.

_We just need to get that back from them. The external. And…_

_ Well…_

_ What _could_ they be doing that's so bad we need to stop it?_

Would_ there be anything wrong with letting them do whatever it is they want to do, and then worry about the external—and the Program—when they're done?_

_xXx_

It was 1.9 seconds after Xemnas left the room that 7 started in Snapdragon's direction. 1.4 of those seconds had been a moment of relief, before the fighting began. The other 0.5 seconds had been the time it took for 7 to make his decision.

He took a breath, trying to calm himself. It didn't work as well as he hoped, as there was terror still nipping at his heart, but at least he was able to keep himself from thinking too much about their very-likely lack of the Repair Program. That would have to do. There wasn't enough time to calm himself down completely.

7 gathered his energy, and then sent out a large blast of ice. All the lesser Nobodies caught in the blast were frozen solid immediately. With them out of the way, he could focus more on clearing a path to Snapdragon.

He focused his energy again, then bent down and placed a hand on the ground. Cold seeped from his fingertips, and ice began to form on the ground around him. At his command, the ice started spreading, slowly at first, before it was racing along the ground. It made its way to the Lexaeus and Bloodroot, and then climbed up their legs, immobilizing them, at least for the moment.

7 straightened and darted past them. It wouldn't hold them for long. The Lexaeus, after determining that he couldn't break free from the ice through his own strength alone, had begun smashing at it with his axe sword. Bloodroot, however, was having a bit more trouble.

The Lexaeus broke free, now, but Amaryllis was there before he could get anywhere near 7. With the Lexaeus distracted, and Bloodroot still struggling against the ice that held him, 7 went to Snapdragon's side. Snapdragon was bleeding quite a bit, but that was a good thing. It meant his Data hadn't gone into shock and stopped processing how to imitate proper human body functions—which meant this wound could be healed without use of the Repair Program. The severity of the wound, however…

7 tried not to think about it too much, and cast a Curaga on Snapdragon. His wounds closed most of the way—the cut on his arm was completely gone, actually—and the bleeding stopped, if just for the moment. He would survive until proper attention could be given to him.

7 considered briefly casting another Curaga on Snapdragon, but decided against it. If he wanted to be of any use for the rest of this battle, he wouldn't be able to use any more magic. At least, not a spell as taxing as Curaga. He'd give Snapdragon a recovery item to finish healing the wounds, instead, but he only had a potion on him; he'd given his elixir to Namine, after—

No. Now was not the time to even think about dwelling on it.

"You're alright," he told Snapdragon. "All healed, or, _mostly_ healed. Anyway. You probably should—"

The _swish_ of a scythe being swung interrupted him. 7 turned to see a Marluxia—that was Ivy, wasn't it?—about to hit him. He got his shield in between him and the scythe before it could hit, and then pushed himself to his feet. Thankfully, he was easily capable of holding his own in battle, and it was only Ivy he had to deal with.

Oh wait, Bloodroot had gotten free of the ice.

Before Bloodroot could attack, however, Snapdragon was there to block him.

"Snapdragon, don't!" 7 hissed. "You're still injured."

"I'll be fine," Snapdragon insisted. "We just have to hold them off until Axel's done."

7 agreed, but that fact didn't make him feel any better. He had a nasty feeling that it could be quite a while before Axel was done with whatever it was that he was doing, especially if Xemnas was involved, somehow. Hopefully, though, it wouldn't be too much longer.

It couldn't be too much longer…


	146. Five

Another chapter? Already? It's only Sunday!

I know. I need to start updating a bit more frequently, though, because I'm writing 11 chapters ahead of where I'm posting and it's bugging me. So...

**Music suggestion: "**1000 Ships of the Underworld" and "Velocitron" both by Two Steps From Hell

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><p><em>Twenty-eight… thirty… thirty-two…<em>

Riku finished deflecting the last of that set of bullets and prepared himself for the next set.

_Thirty-six… thirty-eight… forty…_

_ I'm getting so sick of blocking bullets._

_ Fifty-two… fifty—wait. Ah man…_

Riku sighed and dodged before the next set of bullets—one of the Xigbars had decided to send this set through a dark corridor—could take his head off. He brought up his blade to block the next set.

_I was at… forty-four? I don't remember. Maybe I am at fifty now…_

He gave up counting how many bullets he had blocked so far with another sigh, as he turned and blocked a few more bullets. He was really sick of blocking bullets. Really, really sick of it.

_Maybe I should… _he thought, frowning. _I don't know, maybe I should… Could I attack one of them? Would it do me any good?_

Figuring anything was better than blocking bullets, Riku dodged the next set and rushed at Xigbar (one of them, anyway) while he was reloading. He had to jump to even reach Xigbar (whichever one it was), but before he could land a blow, Xigbar warped out of the way. One, two, three bullets from the other Xigbar hit Riku before his feet touched the ground and he could block again. The bullets stung.

_Okay… maybe blocking bullets isn't so bad…_

_ I don't exactly feel like putting up the effort it would take to actually battle Xigbar—and there's two of them, to top it off! I'd probably get hurt; which I _really_ don't want to deal with right now._

"Oi! When are you two going away?" he called.

"What's it matter to you?" one of the Xigbars replied.

"Just, y'know-" he grunted as he grounded himself against the force of the next stream of bullets. "—rather not be blocking bullets for the rest of my life."

"Oh, don't worry," the other Xigbar said. "You won't be."

"That's comforting…" Riku whispered, mainly to himself. He looked up at the Xigbars, then, ducking to the side before to avoid another barrage of bullets. "Oh, so you're stalling?" he asked, laughing slightly as he did so.

"Heh."

"As if."

_What could they be stalling for, though? _Riku wondered. He rolled forward to dodge the next set of bullets sent at him. He ended up relatively close to one of the Xigbars in doing so. He considered his next move for a second, and then went ahead and attempted to attack the Xigbar anyway. He jumped into the air and swung his blade at Xigbar. Had the attack hit, it would've landed on Xigbar's face, however, just like last time, Xigbar warped out of the way, and the other Xigbar sent off a round of bullets at him. Riku was able to avoid the bullets this time, though.

_Like, seriously, what could they possibly be doing that requires keeping me distracted for so long? _Riku thought as his feet touched the ground again. Terror clutched him as he finished thinking that thought through, and he almost lost his balance.

_Namine._

_ No. No. No. Crap._

He ducked out of the way of more bullets, too distracted to block them properly. It was hard to think straight when there was terror coursing through him and his thoughts were churning at a mile a minute.

_Crappity crap, crap, CRAP._

_They're only really distracting me, after all. They probably went after Namine._

He swore at the thought. The Xigbars might've laughed, but he was hardly paying anything any attention. He was lucky to block the next few bullets that came at him.

_They probably—_

_ No._

He stopped his thoughts there, shook his head to clear it. He grounded his attention on the bullets he was blocking, counting; _one, two, three, four, five, six. _He let out a long breath, then turned to block the next bullets, counting them until the terror had faded from him.

_They didn't go after her. They can't have. Axel was heading to the computer, and Xemnas went that way, too. They're probably just stalling so that Axel can do whatever it is he's doing._

_ And… Xemnas is involved… somehow…_

He braced himself against the next set of bullets, grimacing slightly. He shook his head again in attempts to clear it.

_Stop worrying about Namine!_

_ She's fine._

_ She's not what they're after._

_ They're here for other reasons. They have to be here for other reasons._

_ Namine's safe. She's got to be safe._

He jumped out of the way to avoid the bullets that one of the Xigbars sent through a dark corridor. His thoughts were still churning as he tried to calm himself down.

_Axel said that they wouldn't go after her anymore, didn't he? He wouldn't have lied about that. Yeah, he betrayed us right away, but… oh I don't know! He said the Organization had a change of plans. That's probably all they're here for._

_ Still…_

Riku's eyes narrowed.

_If Namine isn't safe, I am going to _kill_ Axel. Slowly. Painfully. Make him wish he'd never been born. _

_And maybe while I'm at it, I'll get Xigbar, too. And Xemnas. Why not? Make them all suffer…_

"Something on your mind, Hotshot?" one of the Xigbars called. "You're awfully quiet."

"Yeah," the other Xigbar laughed. "I was expecting some snarky comments or a few taunts by now. Not that you're… actually fighting or anything."

"Rather not waste my energy, thanks," Riku replied through clenched teeth. "Perfectly content with blocking everything you throw at me." He smirked then, just slightly. "Besides, I don't see either of you putting up much of an effort, either?"

"Too true."

"Why waste the energy?"

The Xigbars exchanged looks, then.

"You think we could-" the first one began, reloading his gun.

"Nah, he's not worth it," the second one interrupted, preparing to fire.

"Flattered…" Riku muttered, to himself, as he blocked this set of bullets. _I guess… Eh, whatever. _"How much longer are you going to keep this up?" he called.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know. Actually, you know what I-"

"Besides that!"

"Ah… " He took a second to scan the room. "Let's see, we're down two Larxenes and maybe a Marluxia…" He turned back to the other Xigbar. "How many did we bring with us?"

The other Xigbar shrugged.

The first Xigbar considered it a moment more, and then said: "Eh, yeah, we've probably bought him enough time." He paused for a second. "Well…" He shot another round of bullets at Riku. "Yeah. Now we've bought him enough time, I'd say."

"Right." This Xigbar shot one bullet up into the air, and then shouted. "Oi! Pack up your bags and head home! We're done here!"

The Xigbars then formed dark corridors around themselves and were gone. Not seconds later, about three more dark corridors opened and closed. The rest of the raid—if you could call them a raid—had left, too. Riku hardly noticed, though; he was already on his way to Namine's room.

_xXx_

_Earlier…_

7 hadn't been paying attention to how long they'd been fighting—he was too busy making sure Snapdragon didn't get injured any further.

"You really shouldn't be fighting," he told Snapdragon again, as he put himself between one of Ivy's attacks and Snapdragon. He was able to block the attack with his shield just fine, but Snapdragon didn't seem too happy about being saved.

"I could've blocked that…" Snapdragon muttered, turning to swing his scythe at Bloodroot. He missed, and Bloodroot swung his scythe in return, nearly taking off Snapdragon's head.

"You're injured," 7 argued, throwing a blast of ice at Bloodroot to keep him from swinging his scythe at Snapdragon again while he was recovering.

"And fighting just fine," Snapdragon retorted, now swinging at Ivy. Ivy blocked the attack with his own scythe. "I could go after that Lexaeus again if I wanted."

"_Don't_," 7 warned. "Or I will freeze you solid to keep you in place."

"You would not."

"7's right, Snapdragon," 29 called, as he cleared through what little amount of Assassins were left in the room to get closer to them. "You really shouldn't be fighting if you're injured. You'll make things worse for yourself."

"I'll be _fine_!"

Regardless of Snapdragon's protests, 29 put himself between Bloodroot and Snapdragon. "We have it handled, Snapdragon," he said. "Sit down and keep yourself out of harm's way. Or if you're desperate to fight something, I'm sure there are still a few Dragoons left in the room."

"Why don't you help Amaryllis, 29?" Snapdragon asked. "He's got more on his plate than we do. Bloodroot's too much of a coward to put up a decent fight. I can handle him."

"Take that _back!_" Bloodroot shouted, lunging at Snapdragon.

29 was there to block him before he even got close.

"Oh that's no fun," Snapdragon groaned.

But before either 29 or 7 could argue about him being injured, one of the Xigbar's shouted: "Pack up your bags and head home! We're done here!"

Almost immediately, Bloodroot formed a dark corridor around himself and was gone.

"See? I said he was a coward," Snapdragon chuckled.

Ivy and the Lexaeus Replica left shortly after that.

"_Great_." Amaryllis sighed with relief, now that he was no longer dealing with the Lexaeus. "I should go see what Axel's been up to; there are still a few lesser Nobodies in the room, though, so if one of you wouldn't mind taking care of them…" Amaryllis headed off to the Computer Room before he could get an answer.

"Don't even offer to take care of it," 7 said, before Snapdragon could speak. "You are injured, and we should see about getting you healed the rest of the way. Come!" And he led Snapdragon off.

"I guess that leaves me to deal with the Nobodies…" 29 sighed.

_xXx_

"Namine?" Riku called, knocking on her door. He'd almost opened the door without knocking, only to remember that she was working on a surprise that was probably for him, and wouldn't be happy if he saw it before she was done. She'd already kicked him out of her room once. "It's me…"

"Yep?" she replied. He breathed a sigh of relief. "And, no, you can't come in."

"Just checking on you," Riku said. "Since there was a raid and all…"

"I'm fine! The only person who's bothered me is Joseph."

"What about Toby?" he could hear Joseph say, from the other side of the door.

"Toby hasn't been a bother."

"_Hey!_"

Riku laughed. "Glad to know you're safe," he said. He found that he couldn't stop smiling for some reason. Then again, Namine was safe; why should he not smile? "I'm- I'm going to go see what Axel's up to, now." He paused, then added: "He betrayed us! Can you believe that?"

Namine sounded a bit distracted when she replied: "I don't know… I haven't thought about it much."

Riku sighed, the smile that seemed stuck on his face now faltered slightly.

"Am I bothering you?"

"Mmmm…"

It was neither agreement nor denial. Riku figured that he probably was bothering her, but she just didn't want to tell him that.

"Alright, I need to get going," he said. "See you later!"

"See you."

"Bye Riku!" Toby called.

"Give Axel a good kick in the shins for me, will you?" Joseph called. "Can't believe he betrayed us! And after all that about _helping_ me with the—"

Riku started off before Joseph could finish ranting.


	147. Six

This chapter's slightly late. Sorry. I had very little time at my computer yesterday, and what time I ended up having I used to write. Soooo...

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><p>"Can't you shut off all computers in the Castle?" Vexen asked. Surely there was some way to do that; and having no computer would certainly stop Xemnas from doing whatever it was that he was trying to do.<p>

"I've already told you, Vexen," Alpha said, sounding very annoyed. "There's nothing I can do that 26 can't just undo."

Right. Alpha had mentioned that. Because both they and 26 had access to the Main Computer—wait a minute. Vexen frowned. "26?"

Alpha didn't even glance up. "The Vexen Replica."

Vexen rolled his eyes. "I know that," he snapped. "But how did you know that that is 26?"

"Because it's highly unlikely that Xemnas would drag along a Replica who couldn't fully utilize the Program, and there are very few Replicas who know how to do that," Alpha explained. "Since that obviously isn't 37, it must be 26."

What did that have to do with anything? There can't have only been two Replicas who knew how to use the Program to its full extent. Why did this Vexen Replica not being 37 bring Alpha to the conclusion that it must be 26? Weren't there other Replicas? Or had something happened to them?

So many questions… Vexen didn't know where to start.

"How do you know that that's not-" Vexen began, but was interrupted.

"Would either of you like to tell me what's going on here? Assuming that you have a clue, that is."

Both Vexen and Alpha turned to the newcomer. Riku. Had he always been this—actually, yes he had. Vexen couldn't recall a time where Riku _hadn't_ been rude. Or snarky. Or disrespectful.

"Axel, Xemnas, and 26 are with the Computer on Floor 13," Alpha explained. "We can't figure out what they're doing, though… I'm working on it…"

"Why are they on the 13th Floor?" Riku asked, stepping through the doorway and into the room. "What good's the computer up there?"

"It's the Main Computer," Alpha said.

Riku frowned. Vexen frowned too. But _this_ computer was the Main Computer.

Riku had thought something along those same lines, because he said: "No it's not. The Main Computer's here. On the… 2nd Floor." He paused, probably reconsidering what he just said. "Okay… now that I've said that, I realize just how _odd_ it is for the Main Computer to be on the 2nd Floor. Shouldn't it be on the 13th?"

"It was. I moved it."

"Why?" Vexen asked. Riku shot him a glare; evidently he'd been about to say the same thing, and wasn't very happy that Vexen beat him to it.

"Security reasons," Alpha said. "Floor 13 has almost no security at all—not around the computer, anyway."

"_That_ doesn't make any sense," Riku argued.

Vexen shook his head to show that he agreed with Riku. That didn't make any sense at all. Why wouldn't the 13th Floor have security? Who in their right mind would've designed it that way?

"Yes, it does make sense," Alpha replied, simply. He turned away from the computer and to Riku. "Besides Master Vexen, the only people who know how to properly use the Program are Replicas who were completely loyal to him. Why waste energy protecting the Program if the only people who knew how to use it wouldn't abuse it?"

"What about 37?" Vexen asked. "He knows how to use the Program, and he doesn't seem very loyal to your Vexen."

"37's loyal to whoever's in charge."

Ah. That would explain it.

"Can Saix use the Program?" Riku asked, after a second.

"Think about why 37 has such a high position, and you'll find your answer," Alpha said.

Even though Alpha had technically been talking to Riku, Vexen took a second to consider that matter, himself. 37 had so much power because—

"Oh." Riku laughed. "Saix _needs_ 37, doesn't he? He can't use the Program himself."

Vexen sighed. Riku kept beating him to the answer. It was slightly annoying. It also made him slightly proud…

"We're off topic!" Riku exclaimed, a bit suddenly. "What's Axel up to? I never got that answer."

"We don't know what he's up to," Vexen said. "Besides, it's Xemnas we should be more worried about…"

"Alpha?" Riku asked, practically ignoring Vexen's answer. "You're the one at the computer."

"Currently, Axel's standing guard outside the room… and 26 is at the Computer. No, I don't know what he's doing."

"What's Xemnas doing?"

"Overseeing this, I assume."

"Which can't be a good thing," Vexen muttered. "Him having a personal interesting in _anything_ just can't be good. Not for us."

"Probably not," Alpha agreed.

"Definitely not," Vexen corrected.

"Can't we just go in there and stop them?" Riku asked. "Axel's the only security they have, and there's only three of them…"

"One of whom is _Xemnas, _might I remind you," Vexen said.

"Well, we don't have to do any fighting," Riku suggested. "We can just shove them all through a dark corridor."

"They'll come back…" Vexen muttered.

"The room's been corridor-proofed, anyway," Alpha said. "Now shush, I'm trying to figure out what 26 is doing…"

Vexen ignored Alpha. "Regardless, no matter how we were to get rid of them, they'd still come back."

"Then we kill 26!" Riku said, like it were obvious. "Without him, they can't do anything until they find another Vexen who can use the Program. Which, I mean, they'll only have to get a hold of 37… but…"

Vexen considered that for a second. The plan wasn't half bad. Except… "It wouldn't work. Even if we were to get past Axel, we'd still have to get through Xemnas. He won't just stand idly by while someone he has use of is about to be killed. And distracting Xemnas long enough for someone to get rid of 26 will be nearly impossible."

Riku rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest. "What's so intimidating about Xemnas, anyway?" he scoffed. "You all seem so scared of him—yeah, he's the leader of the Organization, and I guess he's pretty powerful, but-"

"He's _Xemnas!_" Vexen said, a bit surprised that Riku didn't even consider him a threat. Was that a good thing? No. No, a healthy respect for Xemnas was much better, even if you didn't always agree with him. "Do you realize how dangerous it is to go up against him? He could kill you in a second—_with no effort!_"

"So?"

"_So?_" Vexen almost wanted to whack Riku over the head. "Riku, please, I don't want you getting hurt!"

Riku's eyes went wide. He stared at Vexen, as if frozen. Vexen could almost see the thoughts churning around in his head. Shock. Disbelief. Vexen closed his eyes, silently cursing himself for letting such a thing leave his mouth.

"_What!?_" Riku choked, finally.

"I- I don't want you getting hurt," Vexen repeated, quietly, keeping his eyes shut so he couldn't look at Riku.

Riku didn't respond. Vexen couldn't think of anything more to say. Silence filled the room; slowly growing so thick that it almost made it hard to breathe. Vexen opened his eyes. Riku was still staring at him; his expression hadn't changed a bit. It remained a mix of shock and disbelief.

Vexen chewed his lip. Should he say anything more? But what was there to say? He could apologize… but why? He'd meant what he'd said, even though he regretted saying it—he wouldn't have said it at all, but after going and seeing Ienzo… he'd been having trouble keeping a hold of his emotions for some reason and this was all utterly beside the point. There was more going on here than this ridiculousness. "Any idea what's going on, Alpha?" he asked, to break the tension.

"I…" Alpha paused, studying the screen a moment longer. "I _believe _that they are creating a Replica."

Riku turned to Alpha, having snapped himself out of the tension, too. "Of who?"

Vexen grimaced. "Oh dear… you don't think Xemnas is Replicating himself, do you?"

"Why is that the conclusion you automatically jump to?" Alpha asked, throwing a glance in his direction.

Vexen shrugged. "Forgive me, but it's just like Xehanort. Really."

Riku raised his eyebrows. "Xehanort?"

"Xemnas!" Vexen corrected, feeling a bit annoyed. It wasn't _his _fault he couldn't keep their names straight, for some reason. And they were the same person! What was the big deal? "You know who I meant."

"What would he do with a Xemnas Replica, anyway?" Alpha asked.

"Cause havoc?" Vexen suggested.

"But that's not what the Organization is after," Alpha argued. "And they can cause havoc without the help of an extra Xemnas."

"Well, how should I know?"

"Do you think they're Replicating me?" Riku mused, a curious expression on his face.

Vexen rolled his eyes. "Please, don't be so conceited."

"What? It's logical enough," Riku said, shrugging and then scratching his nose. "Not like it hasn't been done before or anything." He turned and gave Vexen a pointed look.

"Hmph," Vexen said, turning away. "What would they do with a Replica of you, though?"

"I don't know! Send me—him after us? To get rid of the Rebellion?"

Vexen scoffed. "Xemnas doesn't need a Replica of you to do that. If he wanted to, he could kill us all in about five minutes or less."

Riku just shrugged. "Just throwing things out there," he said. "Besides, you can't tell me that Xemnas wouldn't create a Replica of me and send him after the Rebellion just because it's poetic, in a sense. Or… amusing." Riku made a face. "Not sure what word I was looking for there. But he'd do it for no particular reason, too, wouldn't he?"

Vexen sighed. It was, indeed, like Xehanort—and every other form of him—to do something like that. However. "I don't see why he'd waste the energy of coming here just for that. If he was coming here to build a Replica of you to kill us, he might as well just skip the Replica step and kill us himself since he's already here."

"Point taken," Riku said. "Still, that doesn't mean they're not creating a Replica of me."

"Doesn't mean they are, either!"

"Fine!" Riku threw up his hands in defeat. "Maybe they're not Replicating me. But who else would they make a Replica of?"

"What's the Organization after?" Alpha asked. "They're after Kingdom Hearts, aren't they? Hasn't that been their goal all along?" He glanced between Vexen and Riku. Neither of them protested; all of what he'd said was true. "They need a Keyblade wielder to do that, and, since Roxas is dead, they've been going after the… Replica Program…" His rant—if you could call it that—slowed as he realized what he was saying. "And…"

"They're Replicating Sora again, aren't they?" Riku said.

"I don't see why they wouldn't be," Alpha replied. "They need a Keyblade. That's what they've needed all along."

"Good, then they won't be Replicating Xemnas…" Vexen let out a sigh of relief. Of course Axel and Xemnas were going to Replicate Sora. It was funny how they—those with the Rebellion—had forgotten that all this—the rebellion that might as well have been a war—was so that the Organization could get the Replica Program and build another Keyblade wielder to replace the one they had lost.

But…

Why was Axel involved with this?

He only ever had his eyes on his own agenda. How did this fit into it?

"What did he say?" Vexen asked, looking at Riku.

"Who?"

"Axel," Vexen clarified, and he wasted a second to curse himself for not being clear the first time while he was at it. "What did he say? When he got here. He must've said something."

"I… don't entirely remember," Alpha said. "He mentioned that the Organization had had a change of plans—probably alluding to all this that's going on right now. I'm not sure if he said anything else of importance…"

"But you know how Axel is," Vexen said. "He'll say things. Things that don't seem to mean anything at the time, but later turn out to be vital information that he's given away. Can you… think of anything else? Anything at all."

Riku took a second to think about it; Vexen could almost see him searching through his memory to recall what Axel had said. Hopefully he remembered something.

"Mm… He mentioned that they wouldn't be going after Namine anymore."

Of course Riku remembered that bit.

"Anything else?" Vexen asked.

Riku shrugged, slowly. His face was still screwed up in concentration. "He said that, if things went well, they wouldn't need the Replica Program anymore."

"See, it's just like we said." Alpha didn't sound very worried. "They're building another Sora Replica. They won't need the Program once they have that."

"But… why is Axel involved?" Vexen said. He was a bit frustrated that he had to ask the question directly; either he was getting worse at figuring things out, or Riku and Alpha weren't giving him enough information.

"He was close to Roxas, the last Replica of Sora," Alpha suggested. "That might have something to do with it."

Riku nodded. "That's true," he said. "Even if I didn't spend much time around either Roxas or Axel, I could tell they were friends. And Axel seemed pretty pissed about Roxas's death. Said that he was going to make Saix pay. That—" Riku's eyes went wide.

From the look of it, he'd just remembered something.

"What?" Vexen pressed.

"Axel said that 'bringing a friend back sounded better than revenge on Saix'."

Vexen smiled slightly, a bit smug. _There_ was that vital bit of information he'd been looking for. He started running over those words in his head, trying to discern what they meant; though their implication was a bit obvious even at a first glance.

Axel and Roxas were friends. As much as they could be without hearts, anyway. Except Roxas had heart… Axel… Vexen wasn't sure about Axel. Vexen was never sure about Axel.

But that was beside the point.

Axel said "bringing a friend back".

And that meant—

"He's bringing Roxas back," Alpha said.


	148. Seven

I WOULD'VE HAD THIS UP SOONER BUT** KH3** WAS OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED GUYS

NO JOKE IT HAD AN OFFICIAL TRAILER AND EVERYTHING

Check my blog I have the KH3 trailer, a face claim for Joseph (that's pretty freaking accurate), and then of course the commentary on this chapter which includes links to videos on SSB4 ASLKDJF yes relatively big stuff on the blog. (but not nearly as big as tumblr it exploded last night E3 THIS YEAR GUYS! WOW!)

**No music suggestion for this chapter btw**

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><p>"Can he do that, though?" Riku asked. "Bring Roxas back?"<p>

"Riku, they created Namine purely from your memories," Vexen said. "I don't think there is anything this Program _can't_ do."

"That's not true," Alpha said. He leaned against the desk and folded his arms across his chest. There was no reason to keep staring at the computer screen; the likeliness of there being a major change in what 26 was doing was slim. "There are plenty of things this Program is incapable of. However… bringing Roxas back isn't one of those things—Axel is certainly capable of doing that."

"How, though?" Riku said. "I actually meant to ask that to begin with."

Alpha shrugged slightly. "They have his original file—I assume, anyway; it's probably on the Database. There's no reason it shouldn't be. His original file is all they need." He paused for a second, considering how to explain the process itself. "All they have to do is create a new Replica using that file, and… well, it will be Roxas."

"It's that easy?" Vexen seemed a bit surprised. "You can rebuild a Replica just like that?"

"Mm… yes." Alpha shifted uneasily. It was a bit uncomfortable to discuss this subject; it was arguably one of the most difficult things to explain about the Program—if not for the morals regarding rebuilding a Replica alone. "But there are complications. If the Replica's file hasn't been updated recently… Well, they'd be lacking memories, at best." He swallowed. At least the technicalities of this weren't terribly difficult to explain.

"At worst?" Riku asked, slowly.

Alpha just shook his head.

"It's bad, then?" Riku said.

"We can only theorize," Alpha admitted. "We've never actually rebuilt a Replica before. But, in theory, things can get bad."

"Everything can get bad in theory," Riku muttered, chuckling slightly.

"You've never rebuilt a Replica before?" Vexen asked.

"We've never needed to," Alpha replied.

"I'm sure you haven't," Vexen said. "But wouldn't your Vexen want to try it—as an experiment. I'm sure the thought would've crossed _my_ mind at least once. Then again-" He frowned. "Me and your Vexen think absolutely _nothing_ alike, it seems."

"An experiment like that, though…" Riku paused as he rethought what he was about to say. "I don't think you can rebuild a Replica purely for experimental purposes. It… uh…"

"Isn't right," Alpha said under his breath.

"I suppose an experiment like that might stand on shaky morals," Vexen said. His voice dropped a considerable amount before he continued. "But… I can't deny the fact that I've done a few experiments that weren't quite…" He cleared his throat.

Alpha rolled his eyes in disgust.

Riku cast an amused look at him. "I thought you were used to arguing with Vexen," he said. "Or are you only used to arguing over the Computer?"

Alpha ignored Riku's comments and teasing. "You can't tell me you're not upset," he said, simply.

"About what?"

"The idea of rebuilding a Replica."

Riku raised his eyebrows. "Should I be?"

"Hmph." Alpha turned his attention to Riku. "You can't tell me that it doesn't upset you; bringing back Replicas _from the dead_ all willy-nilly. It makes us seem like we're nothing more than objects." He threw a half glare at Vexen before turning back to Riku. "We obviously aren't people if we can be replaced. We obviously aren't people if our deaths mean absolutely nothing because: 'Oh, they can just be rebuilt!'" He let out an irritated breath and cast his gaze towards the ground, a bit ashamed—though he did feel better now that he had that out.

"Alpha," Vexen said. "I understand your frustration. I'm not- I'm not denying any of what you said. I was just curious as to—"

"Oh shut up," Riku interrupted. "There's no need for you to over explain yourself. Now," he turned to Alpha, "if Axel playing god up there bugs you so much-"

"-then why don't we go stop him?" Amaryllis finished. Alpha glanced up, a bit surprised—he hadn't noticed Amaryllis approach. Yet, sure enough, there he was, leaning casually against the doorframe.

"How much did you hear?" Riku said. He looked a bit annoyed—probably just because Amaryllis had stolen his thunder.

"Axel's planning to rebuild Roxas, right?" Amaryllis asked.

"Yes."

Amaryllis pushed away from the doorframe. "Then I'm caught up. What are we going to do to stop them?"

_Yes, because we _absolutely _have to stop them, _Alpha thought, sarcastically.

"Actually," Vexen said. "The better question is how long we have to stop them."

"Easy," Riku said. "How long does it take to build a Replica? Alpha?"

"Anywhere between a few hours and a few days, depending on how well things go."

Riku nodded. "Okay, so, that gives us at most an hour to strategize; I say we start working on our plan of action, and hopefully it'll only take fifteen minutes." He chuckled slightly. "The sooner we get rid of them, the better, after all. Suggestions?"

"We could… go up there and charge the room they're in and hope for the best?" Amaryllis said. There was a smirk on his face as he spoke.

Alpha sighed.

_I mean… really… they're only bringing Roxas back. As much as I don't like the idea of them rebuilding Roxas—or any Replica, for that matter—I don't see a point in barging in and putting a stop to them._

"That's a terrible plan, not to mention a _dangerous_ one!" Vexen protested. "I thought you were better at strategizing than this, Amaryllis."

_Exactly. There's no sense in fighting them—we'll just get hurt, or killed, or _worse._ With the full Program, it's certainly easier to Rewrite us all._

"Give him a break," Riku said. He was grinning. "It's what we'd probably end up doing, anyway. Also, I'm for this plan."

_You would be,_ Alpha thought.

"Riku it's _dangerous!_" Vexen scolded.

Riku wasn't deterred in the slightest. "I can take Axel! No problem."

"And then what do you do about Xemnas? Hmm?"

Riku shrugged, still grinning—he obviously didn't care to give the matter much thought. "We worry about him once Axel's out of the way!"

"Or we could just not worry about either of them…" Alpha said, quietly.

"Pardon?" Amaryllis said.

"Really, do we _have_ to do something to stop them?" Alpha asked, raising his voice slightly. He didn't keep the annoyance out of his tone—that was two outbursts in only a matter of minutes; he was getting as bad as Riku. But- "Honestly, why should we bother? Why can't we just let them have their Keyblade wielder and be on their way? Won't they leave us alone after that?"

He was only being logical.

Riku's grin immediately fell; he obviously wasn't pleased. Amaryllis chewed his lip, something he commonly did while thinking. Vexen lowered his head; he appeared to be considering the matter, too.

"He… has a point," Vexen said after a moment, looking up. "Once Xemnas has his Keyblade wielder, I don't see why he'd bother with anything else. He'll be content, and that means he won't hurt us unnecessarily. None of us have to get hurt."

"But don't they have the Database?" Riku argued. "And the full program? Isn't that what we've been trying to prevent, all this time? Isn't that what this stupid Rebellion thing was about? Keeping _them_ away from the Program?"

"It's… more of what it descended into," Amaryllis confessed. "To be honest, I think most of us were just trying to stay away from Saix, at the beginning. Then we started fighting him, and it's been a mixture of survival and keeping him away from the Program since then."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Riku shouted; it was funny how quickly his mood could go from humorous and confident to angry and irrational—or maybe it was scary. "You all sound like you've given up—and on something that you _roped_ me into! That's right. I didn't choose to be a part of this. You forced me to help you!" He glared at all of them in turn. "What was the point of that if you're just going to give up now!?"

"Riku-" Vexen began.

"No. I'm talking to Alpha. Why'd you rope me into this if you're just going to give up?"

Alpha took a deep breath. Riku's gaze on him was firm, and, he wouldn't deny it, it was intimidating. There was no telling what Riku might do when he was angry—though a fair bet would be on him drawing his blade, regardless of who it was he'd be attacking.

"I never said we were giving up on the Rebellion," Alpha said. He held Riku's gaze and kept his voice level. "I just think it's best if we cut our losses this time and let Xemnas have his Keyblade wielder—and _yes_, they'll take the Program, too. But what else can we do? Xemnas will kill us if we intervene, and what's the point of stopping him when, once he's finished, he'll leave us alone?"

Riku was silent. Finally he looked away.

Alpha couldn't help but be relieved. That hadn't taken as much arguing as he'd anticipated, and Riku's anger seemed to have calmed. Or it calmed, at least, to a point where he wasn't quite as likely to draw his blade.

"You don't think I can take him, do you?" Riku muttered. He laughed, bitterly, and shook his head. "I get it. You don't think I can take Xemnas."

"Alpha never said-" Amaryllis began.

"Well what if I _can_ take him!?" Riku demanded. "Hmm?"

"Riku, he's-" Vexen started.

"Dangerous. And?" Riku just shook his head again. "You all think Saix is dangerous. And you believe I can take _him_—don't deny it! That's what you roped me into this for. To get rid of Saix for you."

Alpha opened his mouth, then decided against what he was going to say. That might not have been _quite_ the reason—really, they'd all just thought it best to be on Riku's good side—but he couldn't deny that most of them had indeed been… _hoping_ that Riku might get rid of Saix for them.

"Saix isn't like Xemnas," Vexen said, sternly. "Xemnas is a lot more powerful, and he can and _will_ kill you if you get in his way!"

"What if I'm strong enough to take him?" Riku said. "What if it's not as hard as you say it is? What if I want to try?!"

"It's _dangerous_," Vexen repeated.

"So?" Riku was shouting again. "I'm not going to do nothing just because—_especially_ not just because—you told me to!"

"But you'll—" Vexen stopped. It wasn't any use. Riku had shoved past Amaryllis and headed out the door. He was going after Xemnas, and nothing was going to stop him.

Vexen swore and started muttering things under his breath about Programing and "if only he had…"

Alpha just rubbed his head, weighing their options. Going after Xemnas was a bad idea. There wasn't any way to discourage Riku. Riku was going to get killed—and a dead Riku was certainly not a good thing. There went their upper hand; Alpha regretted to admit that the Rebellion had been using him as such, but...

"I'll go after him," Amaryllis said. "Make sure he doesn't get himself killed, because, let's be honest, I think Namine'd have our heads if he got hurt." Amaryllis smiled at his little joke, and then followed after Riku.

_I suppose it could be worse,_ Alpha thought, turning his attention back to the computer screen.


	149. Eight

Okay! so! As a warning this was WRITTEN as one chapter that was like over 5000 words or something so I split it in two. So there will be questions that aren't answered in this chapter and if you ask about them I will strangle you. :P Haha, nah, jk. I will just ignore the questions.

**Music suggestions: **"Flameheart" by Two Steps from Hell, and "ASAP" (Voice and Choir ver.) by Two Steps from Hell. (They are both on my tumblr under the ch149 tag. Like all music suggestions. All chapters since ch142 have tags on my tumblr. Just so you know.)

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><p><em>So what if it's dangerous?<em>

Riku summoned his blade to him as he pounded down the hallways. Excess darkness sparked at his fingertips due to his frustration.

_They think I can't handle it?_

_ Do they not know what I deal with almost every frikken day? Do they think I'm not used to danger? _

_Yeah. Sure. Xemnas is powerful. And?_

_ I bet he'll be a pushover—I've had no trouble fighting anyone in this universe before!_

"Riku!"

Riku cast a quick glance over his shoulder and found that Amaryllis had followed him. He groaned and quickened his pace.

"I don't need you!" he called. "And don't think you can stop me!"

He started to form a dark corridor around himself, but paused. The computer on the 13th Floor was corridor-proofed, wasn't it? He swore under his breath and opened a dark corridor in front of him with a flick of his wrist. Amaryllis started to shout something behind him, but Riku didn't hear. He'd already stepped through the dark corridor.

It opened up a few Floors higher—he'd have headed straight to the 13th Floor or even the 12th Floor, but Amaryllis would've been expecting that. Right? He wasn't sure. He didn't care. With another flick of his wrist, he opened up another corridor in front of him—this one should take him another few floors higher.

_What is Vexen playing at, anyway?_ he thought, as he went through this dark corridor. _Acting like he cares about me—where did that come from? Since when has he ever cared about me before!?_

Riku threw some of the excess darkness that was growing around him to the side, hoping to expel some of it. The satisfaction of it hitting the ground only made matters worse, it seemed. His darkness only grew more eager.

Riku decided to ignore his possible darkness problem, and directed his thoughts to continuing his rant about Vexen.

_And why does he think it's so dangerous, anyway?_

_ I bet he's just scared of Xemnas—he seemed pretty worried about the idea of Xemnas Replicating himself, after all._

_ Well, news flash, Vexen: I'm not scared!_

_ I've never been scared of anything!_

That was a lie. He was scared of a few things. But he certainly wasn't scared of Xemnas.

He opened another dark corridor in front of him and walked through. This one let out about three rooms away from the Computer Room—the closest he dared go for fear of running into something that was corridor-proofed. He didn't want to lose momentum.

He could use his anger and the darkness it brought to his advantage.

_Because, unlike you, Vexen, I. Fear. Nothing._

The words—had they been spoken aloud—would've left his lips with loathing; carefully articulated with his bitterness. Because wasn't that what Vexen told him? From day one, Vexen had taught him that he had no need for fear. Why should that change now? Why should he not do something because _Vexen_ was afraid?

He pushed his way through the door at the end of this room, and was surprised—and annoyed—to find Amaryllis standing in the next room, waiting for him. He readied his blade, pausing.

"Don't think I'm going to stop just because you're standing in my way," he said.

"I'm not here to stop you," Amaryllis replied. "I'm here to help you."

"I don't need your help!" Riku snapped.

"I'm sure you don't," Amaryllis said. "But, maybe, I need to distract Axel while you go after Xemnas? There's no sense in letting Axel wear you down before you go fight Xemnas."

Riku thought about it for a moment. Amaryllis… did have a point. If he had to fight Axel, and if fighting Axel wasn't easy, then he'd be going into a battle with Xemnas worn out, if not injured. Even with his confidence, Riku knew that this would be a bad idea. He nodded curtly, lowered his blade, and walked past Amaryllis.

"Let's go."

_xXx_

"How much longer, huh?"

26 looked up, shocked. "_Axel!_ The _door!_"

Axel'd completely left the doors unguarded to come and check on the not-even-in-first-stages-of-programming Roxas. For the second time. In fifteen minutes. 26 was surprised Xemnas hadn't said anything about it. Though, besides standing there and quietly overseeing this project, Xemnas hadn't really done much else. Not that 26 minded—in fact he'd rather _not_ be disturbed while he was working, and if Xemnas wasn't going to disturb him, he wasn't going to complain.

He just wished Xemnas would do something to make Axel actually do his job.

"Oh, come on, like anyone's _actually_ going to come up here," Axel said, rolling his eyes. "They're all too scared!"

"Hmph. Why don't you tell that to Riku?"

Axel's half-grin fell. "Hmm?"

"He's on his way up here," 26 said. He couldn't help but smile at Axel's discomfort for some reason.

Axel threw up his hands in defeat. "I'm going, I'm going!"

"Don't let them pass," Xemnas said.

The half-grin—perhaps the more appropriate term would be _smirk—_returned to Axel's face. "What? Do you think I'm stupid?"

He headed out the door.

_xXx_

Axel was waiting for them, casually leaning against the door frame of the doors that lead to the computer room—doors which were closed, but not locked. Riku grimaced slightly at the sight of Axel—he'd been hoping Axel was distracted—but tried not to let it bother him too much. Hopefully the plan would work and he'd be able to slip past Axel just fine. In fact, the doors were even open a crack…

"I was wondering when you'd show up," Axel called. He didn't do anything else. He just continued to stand there, looking kind of smug.

"Get out of my way!" Riku said, baring his blade. The less fighting he had to do, the better. But he was perfectly prepared to just launch himself at Axel and shove his blade through his gut. That'd end things pretty quick, wouldn't it?

"No, I don't think I can do that," Axel said, pushing himself away from the wall and positioning himself directly in front of the doors. "See, I put a lot of effort into this. I'm not having you ruin it for me. Besides, if _you_ screw things up, _I'm_ going to be in a lot of trouble."

"And why is that?" Amaryllis asked.

"Well—"

"I don't want to hear it!" Riku shouted, charging at Axel. "Now get out of my way!" He leapt into the air, bringing his blade down on Axel. Axel teleported about three feet to the left. Riku's feet touched the ground.

He'd missed Axel.

But Axel was no longer blocking the doors.

Riku straightened and turned towards Axel. No need to tip Axel off to his plan right away. He'd just have to move at exactly the right moment…

Axel summoned his chakrams. Amaryllis swung his scythe at Axel. Axel blocked. Riku darted towards the doors.

He shoved one door open and stepped into the Computer Room—

Something grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. A fist. Xemnas's fist. Riku's eyes went wide in shock, his feet leaving the ground. He only had time to catch the look on Xemnas's face; Xemnas was smirking, eyes glinting. Then Xemnas threw him aside, like he were nothing more than a rag doll.

Riku's blade flew out of his grasp. He tried to grab onto something to stop himself from falling, but he'd already hit the ground. He bashed his head so hard that his vision blurred, then skidded across the ground, stopping only when he hit the opposite wall.

Riku didn't move. He was still processing what happened.

_He just—_

_ I didn't even—_

_ NO!_

No, there was no way that just happened. No way he wasn't strong enough to take Xemnas. Not now. Not now, when he was so much stronger than he used to be.

_Just because he threw me across the room doesn't mean anything. I can take him. I am strong enough to take him._

_ I _have_ to be strong enough to take him._

He got to his feet and started running. He screamed. Donned dark mode. Summoned his blade back to him.

He wouldn't let himself be too weak to face Xemnas. He _would not_ let it happen.

He was going to fight Xemnas and he was going to _win._

_Forget Axel. Xemnas. I just need to go after Xemnas. I am strong enough to take him. I'm—_

"Oh no you don't!" Axel shouted.

Riku stopped. A wall of fire flared up in front of him, stopping him from getting any closer to the door to the computer room. He turned to face Axel, frustrated, angry, not sure what to do with the emotions raging through him right now.

He decided not to think too much about it and charged up Dark Aura.

_Fine, Axel. I'll fight you if I have to. It won't be hard. I'm strong. I'm strong enough. I can take you. It'll be a piece of cake._

_ So what if Xemnas threw me across the room?_

_ I wasn't paying attention._

_ He caught me by surprise._

_ It doesn't mean anything._

_ It doesn't mean anything._

It was hard to convince himself of that when Axel'd avoided half of the attack. He kept teleporting out of the way.

_I am still perfectly capable of taking him. Perfectly- perfectly capable._

With the Dark Aura finished, and Axel for the most part un-damaged, Riku was very rapidly losing confidence. He couldn't remember any time when a Dark Aura hadn't been at least _relatively _successful. Except, maybe back in the other universe, but- but honestly those memories weren't very clear to him anymore.

_No. I am strong enough. I have always been strong._

He threw Dark Firaga at Axel. Axel blocked with ease. Amaryllis moved in to attack Axel.

_What are you talking about?_ a voice in the back of Riku's head whispered, almost laughing. _You could never beat Sora. He was always stronger than you. So was Real Thing._

_ Why is anyone here any different?_

Riku quickly shook those thoughts out of his head.

_No—_

_ I can do this. I can do this!_

He launched himself at Axel, bringing his blade down, but again Axel blocked the attack. Riku growled and back-flipped away from Axel. Axel just laughed, smirking, and then tossed his chakrams at Riku. Riku brought up his blade to block, but the first chakram hit with more force than he was expecting. He staggered, and while caught off balance, the second chakram hit him and knocked him back. He landed roughly on his butt.

"What's your problem, eh Riku?" Axel called. He seemed to be enjoying this. "You seem a bit slower than usual."

_Ugh, why am I not strong enough!? Why am I—_

Axel threw two flaming chakrams at Riku. Riku rolled out of the way, getting to his feet and then dodging the pillars of fire that Axel sent at him.

_Shake it off, Riku, shake it off. It's okay. You were just expecting it to be like Xigbar's bullets. This isn't Xigbar. This is Axel. Swap your mindset. It's alright._

_ You've got this._

_ Don't panic._

_ You're perfectly strong._

Axel and Amaryllis were fighting, now. Amaryllis swung his scythe at Axel, but Axel dodged and retaliated by throwing his chakrams at Amaryllis.

Riku narrowed his eyes, trying to get himself to focus.

_ C'mon, you can take Axel._

_ Just need to… do something less predictable._

"Burn, baby!" Axel shouted. Riku looked up, but the large fire attack was directed at Amaryllis, not at him.

_What about your darkness? Your weapon. Use that!_

_ Yes, good. Good idea._

He tried to summon darkness to him, but he only managed to summon a little before it fizzled out. He stared at his empty hand, shocked.

_What? No. Why isn't it working?_

He tried again, but no darkness came.

_It was working fine just a few minutes ago!_

_ It was frikken eager, wasn't it?_

He took a step backwards, away from the battle (Amaryllis and Axel were still fighting, completely ignoring him for the most part). He bit his lip until it bled, trying to concentrate and pull the darkness to him.

_What, am I not strong enough for the darkness, now?_

_ Am I too weak for it, too!?_

This was getting really frustrating. He didn't need any _more_ reasons to doubt himself right now.

"Come on," he muttered, trying again to push the darkness that he knew was inside him out so he could channel it. "Come on. _Come on!_"

_Good, there it is!_

_ Finally._

He fueled his frustration—along with his anger and whatever else he was feeling right now—into the attack, gathering darkness, before throwing it all at Axel. Amaryllis flinched away. Axel only barely got out of the way in time, and from the look of things, the darkness still scraped his side. He hissed in pain.

Riku allowed himself a small satisfied smile.

_Alright. Good._

_ Frustration feeds darkness. Darkness is power._

_ You were perfectly frustrated—perfectly angry—when you came up here._

_ What were you angry about?_

Axel retaliated by summoning a large amount of fire and sending it all at Riku. Riku just threw up his hand, summoning a wave of darkness to shield himself. It absorbed the brunt of the blow, though the force of it still caused Riku to skid backwards a few paces.

_Vexen._

_ That's right._

_ He thinks I'm not strong enough. Not good enough. That I can't face Xemnas on my own._

_ And _he is wrong_!_

Riku took a second to move away from the wall. He was close enough to it that if he had to retreat any further he'd be cornered.

He was feeling relatively better now. He summoned more darkness and threw it at Axel. Axel blocked it, but, hey. What could you do?

_Vexen's just getting to me. I can't believe I let him get to me!_

_ Of course I'm fine._

_ Xemnas just caught me off guard, that's all._

_ It happens to everyone._

_ I'm perfectly strong._

Riku launched himself into Helm Split. Darkness surrounded him, and he leapt into the air, quickly striking down at Axel one, two, _three_ times. A familiar pattern. Strengthened by his new darkness.

And to make things better, Axel couldn't block the attack and, for some reason, didn't manage to avoid it, either. Riku wasn't complaining.

_See?_

_ You're doing just fine._

Axel lunged at him, swinging his chakrams. Riku jumped backwards, easily evading the attack. He rushed forward, slicing past Axel.

"That all you got?" he whispered, grinning.

There was the rhythm he'd fallen out of. He'd found it again. He was doing just fine. Doing just fine.


	150. Nine

Okay! this would've been up sooner (just to save y'all from a sort of cliffie) but then I forgot then my computer wasn't working (fixed now) then I was doing other things, then fanfic was having issues.

**Music suggestions: **"Nemesis" and "Invincible" both by Two Steps from Hell

(Also I didn't proof this immediately before uploading, since I'm trying to get it up in case fanfic freaks out again, but there _shouldn't_ be any typos or anything. Just warning you.)

* * *

><p>Axel chucked one of his chakrams at Riku, which Riku didn't avoid. He nearly gasped in pain, but managed to stifle it.<p>

"C'mere, I'll make it all stop," Axel taunted, warping so that he was farther away from Riku. Amaryllis ran forward and slashed his scythe at Axel, but Axel just warped again so he wouldn't get hit.

_He's pretty quick, isn't he?_

_ That's alright._

He summoned more darkness to him, and threw it at Axel. Axel blocked it with his chakrams, yet again.

_But it's alright._

_ I'm doing fine._

Axel attacked with two swipes of his chakrams. Riku jumped out of the way. He charged his blade with darkness, flung it at Axel, then leapt up to grab it before smashing into the ground, sending out a wave of darkness. The attack hit Axel full on.

_This is almost… easy…_

Riku just grinned to himself. It was hard not to feel satisfied.

Except now Axel was preparing an equally deadly-looking attack. Riku dodged to evade the four—_four—_flaming chakrams that Axel had sent at him.

Amaryllis swung at Axel's head, but Axel ducked before he could be decapitated.

"You're not even trying!" he called.

_Not trying? Hmph._

Riku dashed forward, swinging his blade twice at Axel before jumping backward and out of reach. Axel threw a flaming chakram at him, and then turned and threw one at Amaryllis, too. Neither met their mark, but that didn't seem to bother Axel much. He just caught the chakrams, grinning.

_You're the one who's not trying!_

_ You're the one who—_

He stopped, the _truth_ of that—no. No he wouldn't think about it. If he thought about it he'd just get flustered again and that wouldn't do. He was strong enough. Strong enough to take Axel. No need to get nervous.

_ Why are you grinning like that? It's really getting on my nerves._

_ It's like you—_

He leapt into the air and swung his blade down at Axel. Axel sidestepped so he wouldn't get hit, and Riku slammed into the ground next to him, sending out a wave of darkness upon impact. That hit Axel, but it didn't seem to do much.

"What's the matter, Riku?" Axel laughed. "You seem to be—"

"Shut up!"

_I don't want to hear it._

_ I am doing fine. I don't need you telling me otherwise._

He slashed at Axel again, and this attack hit.

_There. I'm doing _just fine_._

Riku let out a half-relieved sigh. He wasn't doing terribly. He wasn't—

_Why is Axel grinning like that?_

_ It's like—_

Riku's eyes went wide with terror.

_He doesn't even think I'm a threat!_

Riku couldn't think up another reason. There _couldn't_ have been another reason why Axel seemed to be enjoying this so much, why he didn't even seem to be _trying_. It's because he _wasn't _trying_._

_And to make it worse he's been able to avoid or block most of my attacks. I'm hardly doing any damage. We've been fighting and I've gotten nowhere._

_ Axel's not even tired and—_

_ No!_

_ How is he so strong!?_

Riku took a few steps away from the battle, lowering his blade, resisting the urge to clutch his head. This couldn't be right.

_This shouldn't be happening!_

_ I should've gotten past him by now. Killed him. Defeated him. At least beaten him! Anything! Anything…_

_ It's not- it's not right-_

_ I-_

_ I'm—_

_ NO!_

_ Not _weak!

_I am not weak._

_ I am perfectly strong and Axel's just having a good day and I'm having a bad one and I am so weak…_

He didn't know what to do. He felt like crying, honestly, but he couldn't do that because crying was worse. Crying was weakness. He couldn't be weak even though he obviously was. He couldn't take Axel. Xemnas hadn't put up any effort and had defeated him. Even Xigbar hadn't seemed too terribly worried about fighting him.

_I bet I couldn't even take Demyx_.

_I…_

He took a few breaths, trying to calm himself down. So what he was having trouble fighting Axel? He didn't need to waste energy fighting Axel anyway. If there was… another way to get past Axel, then he could fight Xemnas—_even though I'm not strong enough—_just like he wanted.

"I don't know why you're trying to keep us out of there!" he shouted. "We already know what you're doing! You're bringing Roxas back."

It was the only weapon he had left. They knew what Axel was doing. And… somehow they could use this knowledge against him. Right? He never quite understood how this worked. Maybe he'd messed this up.

_Wouldn't be surprised. Can't seem to do anything right—no! No, I need to stop thinking like that. Just because I'm weak doesn't mean I'm a complete failure…_

_ …it sure feels like that, though._

"You know, if you stop us, you're going to kill Roxas, right?" Axel asked.

Riku froze.

No, he didn't know that. Well, he _should've,_ it made perfect sense, but the thought had never occurred to him. He swore. Tears were welling up in his eyes.

_Not only am I weak, but I'm a monster, too. I didn't even think about what would happen to Roxas if I stopped Xemnas. I just wanted to charge in here and—_

_ Ugh, I need to stop thinking like this!_

_ Why am I so upset, anyway?_

_ Why can't I keep a hold of my emotions?_

_ I hate feeling like this!_

He was having a really hard time holding back his tears. He didn't make eye contact with either Axel or Amaryllis, hoping they wouldn't notice if he did somehow manage to start crying. He stared at the floor, taking deep breaths to hold himself together—at least for the moment. He only needed to last until he was alone; or at least away from Axel.

He slowly turned to Amaryllis.

"We need a new plan," he said. His voice was tired—exhausted, really.

_I just want to be somewhere else right now…_

"Alright," Amaryllis said.

"So we're done fighting?" Axel asked.

"Yeah," Riku said. And he turned and walked away.

_xXx_

Axel let out a small sigh of relief as he watched Riku and Amaryllis walk away. Then he grinned.

_Now, that wasn't too hard, was it?_

_ And, now that it's taken care of…_

He banished the wall of fire that was blocking the doors to the Computer Room—though, maybe it'd be best if he left it up. He could pass through it just fine without getting burned, and it wasn't like there was anyone _else_ that needed to get through to the Computer Room at the moment—and poked his head in.

"How's Roxas doing?" he asked.

26 groaned.

_xXx_

"Didn't go well, did it?" Alpha asked. There was quite a bit of smugness in his voice.

"No," Amaryllis said. "Axel put up more of a fight than I think we expected. Or, at least more than _Riku_ expected." He cast a hesitant glance over at Riku.

Riku ignored it.

"Riku…" Vexen said, slowly. "Are you-"

"I'm fine!" he snapped.

_I don't need _you_ saying anything, that's for certain. _

"Are you hurt?" Vexen asked.

"I'm _fine._"

_Didn't you hear me the first time?_

"Maybe you should—"

"I said I'm fine!"

Vexen closed his mouth. Riku groaned and rubbed his head.

"He's just upset Axel was too much for him," Alpha said.

_That's not—_

Riku nearly launched himself at Alpha, his self-control slipping, but Amaryllis caught him by the shoulder and held him back. Riku glanced up at him, questioningly, but Amaryllis's eyes were fixed on Alpha.

"Alpha, that wasn't necessary," he said, sternly.

Alpha just shrugged, unfazed. "I told you that that plan wouldn't work. It's not my fault you didn't listen to me."

"There's no need for you to be so smug, though," Vexen said, folding his arms across his chest.

Alpha turned to him, a bit surprised. "I thought you were on my side."

"I don't deny the fact that what Riku did was dangerous," Vexen said. "But I don't see why we have to rub it in his face that this wasn't his best idea ever."

_Thanks. I think._

_ Why are we discussing this, again?_

"What's it matter, anyway?" Riku asked.

"I was right and you were wrong, that's all," Alpha said. He smirked slightly. "You aren't as strong as you think you are."

"I was just—" Riku began, trying to defend himself.

_He's right, though._

_ You really aren't as strong as you think you are._

_ How long did it take Xemnas to beat you, again?_

Riku turned away.

_No! Stop thinking like that!_

_ It's bad enough I nearly broke down in front of Axel. I can't afford to do it here, either. I…_

He really just wanted to be anywhere but here right now. He slowly sunk to the ground, holding his head in his hands. He wasn't going to cry. Why'd he want to _cry_, anyway? He was _just fine! _So what? Axel'd just been more difficult than they expected, and, yeah, Xemnas didn't have any trouble catching him off guard, and, sure, maybe he _was _weak. But there was no sense _crying_ about it. All he needed to do was _move on._

The only problem was he couldn't seem to _stop thinking about it_.

And Alpha rubbing it in his face wasn't helping matters.

And—

"Riku, are you all right?" Vexen asked.

And, yes, he wished _that_ would stop, too. Vexen was so unbearable at times.

"My head hurts," he lied. "The room's… spinning a bit. Just gonna sit down."

_I don't need them knowing what's really going through my head. _

_ Though I guess I could've just said I was tired. Exhausted from fighting Axel—no. No I couldn't have said that. Then they'd think I'm weak, too, and I'd only be proving Alpha's point._

"What's wrong with him!?" Vexen demanded.

"He hit his head pretty hard while we were fighting," Amaryllis said, calmly. "I'm sure that's all this is."

_Well, nice to know that Amaryllis cares enough to defend me…_

Extremely _nice, actually._

"Wouldn't this have happened sooner, though?" Alpha sounded a bit suspicious.

"You know him. He was probably just ignoring it as we were fighting Axel."

"Do you think he'll be okay? Should we call 7?"

"There's nothing 7 can do for him, Vexen, and you know that. He's not compatible with our Program. And even if he was, we sort of _don't have one_."

"And whose fault is that, hmm, Alpha?"

"Again, how was I supposed to know that he knew where it was?"

"And, again, you could've at least _kept it somewhere safer!_"

_There they go, arguing again. Oh well, at least they're done bugging me. I suppose I'm grateful for that._

_ I don't get Vexen, though. Why is he—_

Riku paused, looking to his right. Amaryllis had sat down next to him. He frowned.

"Hit your head pretty hard, huh?" Amaryllis asked. From the tone of his voice, it sounded like he knew that was a lie.

Riku sighed. "I don't like being thrown across rooms," he muttered.

Amaryllis laughed, quietly. "I don't think anyone does," he said. He nudged Riku a bit playfully. "C'mon, don't be too hard on yourself. You'll have another shot at him."

_That's not what I'm worried about…_

_ I'm worried I won't be able to take him, next time I do have the chance to fight him._


	151. Ten

super sorry this is late! I started watching Once Upon a Time, and between watching the entire first season in a week and juggling a few other things, uploading a chapter completely slipped my mind! But here it is now! Whoo!

I can't think of anything else to say, so enjoy!

**Update Feb 2014: **ch45 of ASAS has the original draft of this scene, and ch46 has this scene from a couple different POVs!

* * *

><p>Riku fingered his lip, which still hurt from biting it earlier, but at least wasn't bleeding anymore. He'd been sitting here for the past who knew how long—it'd been maybe fifteen minutes? Longer?—listening to Alpha and Amaryllis (with occasional input from Vexen) fight over what they were going to do. While they'd come up with a couple of ideas, most of them either revolved around Alpha's insistent "do nothing", or involved killing someone. Usually Xemnas. And those ideas were quickly shot down, which brought them back to doing nothing.<p>

"You don't make any sense, Alpha," Amaryllis said, finally. He sounded really frustrated. "You, of all people, were the _most_ against Saix. And now you just want to do nothing."

"Because this is _Xemnas_ we're dealing with," Alpha replied, calmly. "Not Saix. They're two completely different people. Besides, just… how well, did your and Riku's fight with Axel go? Imagine, if you had that much trouble dealing with Axel, how much harder will it be to fight Xemnas?"

Riku rolled his eyes.

_Thanks. I'd just managed to get those thoughts out of my mind._

_ …_

_ Maybe it would be better if we did nothing._

"Maybe he has a point," Riku said. Amaryllis turned to him. "I mean, maybe we should just do nothing."

"I thought we were on the same side!"

Riku shrugged.

"It's just… maybe it's not a good idea to fight Xemnas."

Amaryllis groaned. "Don't tell me _you've_ given up, too."

"It's just-" He shifted uncomfortably, clenching his hands into fists. He really didn't want to admit it, but- "I could hardly take Axel. He- he wasn't even _trying_ to put up a fight and he was still too much for me. How am I supposed to take Xemnas? How am I supposed to take Xemnas and win?"

"Riku-" Vexen began.

"Truth is, _I can't_. Okay? I can't." He turned away from them, fixing his eyes on the ground. "Which means we're all doomed, because _I'm_ your secret weapon, and what are you going to do when I don't work anymore? You give up. Alpha's right."

"I haven't given up!" Alpha protested. "I'm just thinking logically here. We can't realistically get the better of this situation. I'm only saying we should cut our losses this round; it's not like I've given up on the Rebellion entirely."

"But there is no Rebellion anymore," Riku said. "They have the Program. They have their Keyblade wielder. We've failed. Hopefully if we just stay out of Xemnas's way, he won't think about us, and he won't kill us."

"Riku…" Vexen began again, but he trailed off.

"No," Alpha said. "We have not failed. The Rebellion is still alive-"

"But we don't have the Program," Riku interrupted.

"Then we get it back."

"What about Roxas, though?" Riku asked. "It can't be good that the Organization has him."

"It's probably not," Alpha admitted. "But there's nothing we can do about Roxas. Nothing short of killing him."

"Which we don't want to do," Vexen added. "Axel is going to be a pain—more so than Xemnas will be—if we kill Roxas. Trust me, Axel is not a fun person to deal with when he's angry. And there's no better way to make Axel angry than to harm Roxas."

"Then…" Riku thought about it for a moment.

What else was there that they could do? Of course, he wanted to give up, but… He didn't want the Organization to have Roxas. Not because it meant bad things for them. Because it meant bad things for him. For Roxas.

Even if the Organization wouldn't—couldn't—be absolutely cruel to him…

Riku still wasn't sure how he felt about it.

So…

"We kidnap Roxas."

_Because it isn't fair to him. Bringing brought back from the dead against your will and being forced to serve the Organization isn't fair to anyone._

"Kidnap him?" Alpha asked.

"I thought I just said that it was a bad idea to make Axel angry," Vexen said.

"More like… rescue him," Riku said. "Roxas."

"And how are we going to do that without drawing Xemnas's attention?" Amaryllis asked. "I don't think he—"

"Or Axel," Vexen added.

"—will be happy if we kidnap his Keyblade wielder."

Riku just shrugged, not sure what to say.

"But…" Amaryllis continued. "Maybe if we convince _Axel _that… I don't know, he and Roxas should join our side or something. I mean, _we_ can finish rebuilding Roxas, can't we?"

"Not without the passwords, which I doubt Axel knows, and I doubt 26 will hand us," Alpha said. He shook his head. "It's too risky a gamble. Not even Luxord would attempt it. We have to let them have Roxas."

"But-" Riku began, but stopped, hearing something. He quickly scrambled to his feet. Namine was heading this way—he could hear her footsteps. Before he could even turn around and say anything to her, though, she threw her arms around him. He made a face, a bit confused and surprised, but shifted and returned the hug.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi!" She pulled away from him, and grinned. "Just wanted to check on you, that's all. It's been a while."

"The raid's not technically over," Alpha said. Namine turned to him, curious. He'd shifted so she could see the computer screen, and now he gestured at it.

"Oh, they're still here," Namine said. She could see a Vexen Replica, and… wait… was that? She moved closer to the screen to be sure. Yes. It looked like it was. "Is that _Xemnas? _Like, the leader of the Organization?" She turned back to Riku, not sure if she felt shocked or… she had no clue what else she might be feeling. "What is he doing here?"

"Trying to Rebuild Roxas," Riku answered.

"There is no 'try' about it," Vexen said. "He's Rebuilding Roxas."

"Roxas?"

"Their Keyblade wielder, and the reason they were going after the Program in the first place," Alpha said.

Namine nodded, understanding. "Does… Roxas have blond, kind of spikey hair?" she asked, pantomiming the idea of having spikey hair with her hands. "And blue eyes."

"Sounds like him," Amaryllis said.

"That explains a lot…" she muttered.

"Hmm?" Riku asked.

"Oh, I drew a picture of him. About two days ago." She grimaced. "Roughly."

Riku raised his eyebrows. "And you didn't mention it?"

"I had no clue who he was!" Namine replied.

"You didn't even show it to me!"

"It slipped my mind; give me a break!" She shot a half-glare at him. "And who says I have to show you _every_ picture I draw, anyway?"

"Well, you don't- I just…" He paused, flustered. "I could've told you who Roxas was," he muttered, defeated.

Namine's face softened. "I guess you could've, but… again it slipped my mind," she said. "Sorry about that." She glanced back over to the computer screen, frowning. "How'd Xemnas get in here, anyway? I mean, not that I know how tight our security is, but I assumed it was tighter… And… I thought they couldn't do anything without the external."

"Axel betrayed us," Amaryllis explained.

"He wouldn't have gotten the external if _someone_ had put it somewhere safer," Vexen said, throwing a pointed look in Alpha's direction.

"Would you let that drop?" Alpha glared. "I've told you already; it's not my fault. How was I supposed to know that Axel was going to betray us? If I had known, I would've certainly put the external elsewhere…"

"You know…" Namine laughed slightly, trying to lighten the mood. "This actually doesn't surprise me all that much. Axel betraying us and all."

"It doesn't?" Alpha asked. He seemed a bit surprised. Or maybe he was upset… Namine couldn't quite tell—Alpha was good at masking his emotions.

"See?" Vexen smirked. "Even she knows Axel's bound to be a filthy double-crosser!"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure I mentioned it to her," Riku said.

Namine shook her head. "Neither of those reasons," she said, laughing some more. "It doesn't surprise me that he'd go this far to bring Roxas back." She smiled, something feeling warm in her heart. "They are best friends, after all."

Riku gave her a curious look. "How do you know that?"

She shrugged. She honestly had no clue _how_ she knew that. "I just… do."

Vexen slowly pulled out his notebook and started writing something down. Alpha just shrugged, not arguing. Riku continued to regard Namine with a curious look. After a second, though, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Hey," he said, lowering his voice. "Maybe… you should go stay in Hollow Bastion until this is all over. It'd be safer there."

"Riku-" she began.

"They aren't going to kidnap her," Alpha said, plainly. "Or, they _shouldn't_, anyway. The whole purpose of kidnapping her in the first place was to Rewrite her to get you out of the way so that it'd be easier for them to snag the Program. They have the Program. Why bother attempting to kidnap her anymore?"

Riku opened his mouth to protest, most likely, but closed it again. He looked at Alpha, then back at Namine, and then sighed. "I'd just… feel better if I knew you were safe," he muttered, not meeting her eye.

She stared at him for a second, and then sighed, too, smiling. "I'm perfectly safe here," she assured him, squeezing his hand.

He didn't say anything for a while, his eyes just fixed on her, and then nodded. He shrugged slightly. "Guess you're right," he said. He didn't seem very reassured though.

_"I just… can't protect her if I'm not with her. …Probably can't even protect her at all. Probably too weak. Just like I'm too weak to do anything else."_

Namine froze, eyes going wide in shock.

"What!?"

Riku stared at her, looking just about as shocked as she was—if not even more shocked. He glanced from side to side, then his eyes focused on her again. "I, uh-" he stammered.

Oh. Of course. She'd accidently overheard his thoughts again, most likely. This could get annoying if it kept up… Then again…

She took a step closer to him, pulling her hand out of his grasp and then reaching up to take his face in her hands. She touched their foreheads together.

_What did you just think?!_ she sent him.

He backed away from her, looking even more shocked than before. "What as that?" he asked. He frowned, the realization dawning on him. "Did you just…"

She nodded, then took his face in her hands again.

_Please, Riku, just let me—_

"This feels weird," he said, but he didn't pull away this time.

"I know it does," she said. "But-" _I need to talk to you, and this seems like just as good a way as any other. Besides, now they can't hear us._

"No, this is too weird," he said. He gently pulled away from her. "I- I don't think I can—"

She let out a long breath, but lowered her hands. She didn't really want to let him get away without telling her what was up, but…

_Maybe it was just a fleeting thought,_ she tried to comfort herself. _Everyone has those. Except…_

Except it hadn't felt fleeting. And the fear in his eyes and the way he held himself only furthered her suspicions. Not to mention that, for the brief second their minds _had_ been connected, she could feel similar thoughts pulsing at the back of his mind.

"Riku, please, just let me try," she said.

He stared at her a long time, but then nodded. He closed his eyes, and she took his face in her hands yet again, pulling him closer so that their foreheads touched. She took a deep breath in, and he mirrored her actions.

_Alright… so…_ she began.

_"What is this, huh?" _Riku's mental voice had a touch of humor to it, but that didn't change how scared he felt. _"We're telepathic now, are we?"_

_ Seems like it,_ she replied.

_"It's weird."_

She almost chuckled at that, but just shrugged instead. She couldn't get too sidetracked.

_What's on your mind?_ she asked, firmly, before he found a way to distract her.

_"I just-"_

He stopped there, but he didn't need to use words, whether spoken or unspoken. Now that their minds were connected, she could see his fears just clearly. She could see him being thrown across the room by Xemnas. She tried not to shudder as she felt his confidence shatter. Tried not to squirm as his insecurities poured over her.

He was scared because he didn't think he was strong enough.

_It's not true,_ she tried to tell him. _You're _not_ weak._

_ "But-"_

_ Don't argue with me! Everyone has some bad luck every now and then, and it doesn't mean anything. Stop being so hard on yourself._

"No, Namine, I can't."

He pulled away from her again, shaking his head. There were still traces of fear on his face, but she didn't know what he was thinking. The link between their minds had been broken. There was a long moment of silence. Riku didn't say anything, didn't look at her, looked anywhere _but_ at her. Namine wasn't sure what everyone else was doing, but, to be honest, she didn't care that much.

She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Riku grabbed her hand and held it up, turning it over a few times as he examined it. She flushed.

"Is this… is this paint, on your hand?" he asked. There was surprise in his voice, and humor, too—he'd managed to mask the rest of his emotions very well. He'd also changed the subject on her.

Namine hastily pulled her hand away from him, trying to wipe the paint off on her dress. How'd she not managed to get that off before she came here? And why hadn't Riku noticed sooner?

"It… _might _be," she said.

Nope. She wasn't going to admit it.

Riku laughed. He was doing a _very_ good job at masking all his other emotions.

"What are you doing in there?" he asked.

"Like I'm going to tell you!"

"But-"

"You'll see it when it's finished, and that's that," she said, firmly. She scowled at him, not happy with him in the slightest. She should be worried about him. But. They were getting nowhere. There was no way she'd be able to get any more out of him—or convince him that what he was thinking _wasn't true_—after this. Certainly not after this.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll be heading back to my room." She didn't try very hard to keep her frustration out of her voice. "I need to go _finish_ with what I was working on!"

She left, before anyone could say anything.


	152. Eleven

I can't think of anything to say (besides the fact that it feels like I uploaded the last chapter yesterday...) I _did_ upload something to ASAS yesterday. Original draft of the last chapter. If you're curious.

**No music suggestion** - I only have suggestions for the battle-y chapters, because that's easy

* * *

><p>"Riku, would it kill you to stand still?" Vexen asked.<p>

Riku rolled his eyes, ignored him, and continued his pacing. It'd been, oh, two hours that they'd been sitting here and waiting. For… whatever reason. Riku couldn't remember what it was.

"Finally, 26 looks like he's nearly finished with Roxas," Alpha said.

Riku turned to him, eyes lighting up slightly. That was right. They were waiting until Roxas was finished.

"How can you tell?" Vexen asked.

"Because, look, you can see Roxas." Alpha pointed at the screen. "And 26 isn't typing anything, so Roxas is most likely processing. Which means he's almost done. It's a matter of minutes now."

"Alright, then, what exactly is our plan?" Amaryllis asked as he ducked back into the Computer Room. He'd left for… some reason. Some reason that had kept him out there for thirty minutes. Oh well. Riku didn't really care. "Just to make sure we all haven't forgotten it in the past, what, two hours we've been sitting here?"

"We're getting the Program back from them," Alpha said. "Which basically means we're going to get the external back."

Riku frowned. "We're just going after the external? Why didn't we just go get that sooner? Why'd we have to wait two hours?"

"Because if we took the external before Roxas was finished," Alpha explained, a touch of bitterness in his voice. "We'd essentially kill him; 26 couldn't finish Rebuilding him without the external." He shot a glare in Riku's direction. "Didn't we discuss this?"

"I believe we did," Vexen said.

Riku glared over at Vexen.

"You're not helping…" He muttered. He stopped his pacing and stretched slightly. His neck hurt. "And what happened to my rescuing Roxas plan?"

"It was bad one," Alpha said, simply.

"Was not." Riku crossed his arms. "It'd probably be better for Roxas."

"Your plan might have good intentions, Riku," Vexen said. "But I have to agree with Alpha; it has a high chance of failing."

"Like his 'grab the external plan' is any better! It has just as much of a chance at failing."

"But it's simple," Alpha argued. "And it if works, we'll be better off in the long run. Once we have the external, we can just dump all the data on it onto another external or three, and we won't be able to lose the data again—or, at least, it'll be harder to lose the data."

"And what's so wrong with my plan?"

"For starters, we'd have to get Roxas away from the Organization, which certainly won't be easy. I mean, do you honestly think Xemnas would let us have him? Do you honestly think _Axel _would let us have him?"

Riku scowled. "Well, what if we do what Amaryllis suggested?"

"What did I- oh. Convincing Axel to swap to our side?" Amaryllis shook his head. "I'm not sure that'd work. I mean, it's a thought, but to be honest, I'm not even sure why I suggested it to begin with."

"Exactly," Alpha said. "He has no reason to swap sides. He has what he wants."

"But if we give him a reason—"

"And what would that reason be?"

Riku thought about it for a second, but he honestly didn't have to think for long. "That…. the Organization's going to treat Roxas like crap." Sure, maybe they wouldn't be too terrible to him. But… "That Xemnas is going to turn him into his own puppet."

"And how do you know that?" Alpha asked.

"Well, why wouldn't he?" Riku replied.

"Because he doesn't need to," Alpha said. "All he wants is his Keyblade wielder. I'm sure he couldn't care too much about it as long as Roxas completes Kingdom Hearts for him. There's no need for him to turn Roxas into a puppet."

"Yeah, but if he can control Roxas's every whim, then Roxas won't try and run away or rebel-" He paused, then continued, wryly: "Didn't he do that before? Isn't that why he got killed? They wouldn't want that to happen again. Of course Xemnas is going to turn Roxas into his puppet."

"You may be exaggerating things, Riku," Amaryllis said.

"You think I am?" Riku suppressed a bitter laugh. "Don't you know what I've been through?"

"Riku, Marluxia did _not_ put you through that," Vexen said, sternly.

"Are you kidding me?" Riku did laugh now, bitterly, angrily, _hurt_. "I was everyone's puppet." He looked at Vexen straight on. _Even yours_. He didn't dare say that aloud, though. Instead, he tried to smooth it over, and said: "And let's not forget that Marluxia was perfectly intending to turn Sora into his puppet."

Vexen stared back at him. Riku almost wondered if he knew what he was thinking. Something about the way he was looking at him. It was… guilt? No, it couldn't be. Couldn't.

"Doesn't mean Xemnas is going to try it with Roxas," Alpha said.

"Actually…" Vexen began, slowly. "I… wouldn't be surprised if he considered it."

"So you're agreeing with Riku, now?" Alpha asked. "I thought you were arguing with him."

"I was just reminding him that, Marluxia didn't entirely—" He stopped, shook his head. "That doesn't matter. Marluxia planned on turning the Keyblade wielder into his puppet, and I don't see why Xehanort wouldn't, either. I doubt he'll want to have to go through this process again, so if he can keep his grip tight on Roxas—"

"You mean Xemnas, right?" Amaryllis asked. "Not Xehanort."

Vexen shook his head. "It makes no difference. I don't see why _anyone_ would want to go through the trouble of having to Rebuild Roxas twice. If Xemnas can keep his grip on Roxas, through any means, he will do it. I'm almost certain."

"See? This is why we need to get Roxas away from him," Riku said.

"I already told you that it's too risky," Alpha said. "Even if it would probably be better for Roxas, what are we supposed to do with him once we have him? Hide him here? Do you _want_ to get everyone killed?"

Riku bit his lip. Alpha did have a point there. It didn't change how Riku felt about this, though.

"We'll go after the Program—the external," Alpha continued. "It's all we can do."

Riku sighed. He'd run out of arguments.

"How are we planning to get the external, anyway?" Vexen asked.

"Someone, likely Axel or 26, will have it on their person. We need to find it, and take it." Alpha said. "It's not that complicated in theory. It's only a matter of executing it." He turned to Amaryllis. "Amaryllis, go gather reinforcements, will you? We'll meet on Floor 13, just outside the computer room."

Amaryllis nodded and headed out.

"Can't they just corridor away, though?" Riku asked, slumping against the wall and folding his arms across his chest, dejected.

"I thought most of Floor 13 was corridor-proofed," Vexen said.

"Yeah, but can't 26 undo that with the computer? He set the corridor-proof up, didn't he?"

Vexen frowned, unsure of how to respond. Riku turned to Alpha.

"I'll put a password lock on the corridor-proof," Alpha said, as he turned to the computer. "So he can't undo it."

"But couldn't _you_ have undone the corridor-proof?"

"I could've." Alpha shrugged. "But it's not like it does us any good, does it? Not now anyway. We need it to be corridor-proofed, or else we'll have no chance of getting the external."

Riku let out a long breath and closed his eyes.

_I'm so not looking forward to this…_

_ What happened to our doing nothing plan?_

_ I mean, I know I was adamant about suggesting rescuing Roxas and all, but… I guess I was just trying to prove a point. Argue for the sake of arguing. Or something. I don't know. Now that I think about it, I don't even want to try. I'm clearly not any good at fighting._

_ It was one thing if we could talk to Axel about swapping sides—_

_ That meant no more fighting._

_ But we aren't rescuing Roxas._

_ We're going after the dumb external._

_ And I'll have to fight._

He suppressed a groan, not wanting Vexen or Alpha to know what was going through his head.

_We'll be against Axel and Xemnas, and 26, as if Axel and Xemnas weren't enough. I mean, Vexen Replicas are hit and miss on whether or not they can fight, but, my luck, 26 will be perfectly capable of doing so._

_ Oh, and there's also Roxas to worry about. I wonder if he'll be up and fighting. He probably will be…_

_ My luck absolutely sucks today._

_xXx_

Things were going surprisingly smoothly. The Rebellion had only attempted to meddle once—and Axel had proven more than capable of keeping them away from the Computer Room. He made decent security, Axel did.

26 let out a long breath, rubbing his chin as he looked over the computer screen again. Everything… seemed to be in order. It wouldn't be certain until Roxas was out of the final processing stages, but, from what 26 could tell, Roxas hadn't failed. At worst—and this was an honestly worst-case feasible scenario—he'd have to go through the editing stages a time or two until whatever mistakes were ironed out. Otherwise, he would function just fine.

_This is probably the fastest I have ever built a Replica, _26 mused. He glanced at the clock. It'd been 2 hours and 51 minutes since he had started. Yes, this was certainly the fastest he'd built a Replica.

_Not that Roxas is… finished. He's still processing, and that could take another ten minutes, and I also have to go through his memories. Who knows how long that will take. It could be anywhere between twenty seconds to twenty minutes, depending on how fast the computer decides to copy his memories over. Thankfully, he doesn't have a lot of memories, but…_

The doors opened, _again_. 26 didn't even glance up, knowing that it was Axel. That man was so impatient… Thankfully he'd started checking once about every twenty minutes, instead of twice every fifteen. But it was still ridiculous.

"Axel, I have told you a million times; I will come get you if something goes wrong," 26 said.

"I was just checking," Axel replied.

The doors shut.

26 rubbed his head and looked over the screen one more time. Roxas's stats looked fine. And, according to the computer, all his basic functions were working. Of course, that was something that the computer could easily get wrong; you couldn't entirely be positive on basic functions until a Replica was up and moving and using such functions. The computer only recognized whether or not the Code representing each function was scrambled. If the Code wasn't scrambled, then there was a high chance there'd be nothing wrong with the function.

"26, how much longer until Roxas is finished?" Xemnas asked.

26 glanced up. "Ah, not much longer sir. A half hour at most. He just needs to finish processing, and then I'll have to restore his memories."

"Don't bother with his memories; he can do without those."

26 swallowed a few times, dreading how Axel would react to such an idea. Of course, 26 really couldn't refuse an order from Xemnas, but that still didn't mean he was looking forward to dealing with Axel if Roxas did not have his memories.

"Are- are you sure?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. "Do you _really_ want to have to teach him everything all over again?"

Xemnas was silent for a moment.

"Give him only what is necessary, then."

"And how exactly do I determine what is necessary?"

"Simple. Get rid of anything that has traces of the girl in it."

_Xion. He wants me to delete all traces of Xion._

26 swallowed again.

_Axel will have to understand. Roxas couldn't keep those memories. She was the reason he slipped out of our grasp in the first place._

"It will take me a bit longer to sort through the memories, sir," 26 said.

"Then perhaps you should get to work."


	153. Twelve

I just realized that this chapter is sort of short. Like, 1500 words instead of the usual 2000-3000. Sorry? (I'll try and upload the next chapter on schedule to make up for it, yeah?)

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><p>"What are we waiting for, again?" Riku asked.<p>

"For Amaryllis to gather Reinforcements, I believe," Vexen replied.

"How long could that take?"

"Shouldn't be much longer now," Alpha said. "In fact-" He glanced down at his pager. "Yes, Amaryllis says he has reinforcements, and if we're… done… arguing… he'd appreciate it if we could meet him on Floor 13." Alpha frowned. "Really, Amaryllis?"

"We _were_ arguing," Riku said.

Alpha didn't respond.

"Where exactly are we heading?" Vexen asked. "Floor 13 isn't exactly small."

"About three rooms away from the computer room," Alpha said.

"But in which direction?"

Alpha sighed.

Riku chuckled a little.

"Listen, I know where he is," Alpha said. "I'll just form a dark corridor for us." He reached out his hand, summoning a dark corridor to his fingertips. Once it was formed, he stepped through. Vexen followed not long after.

Riku hesitated, though.

_I could… stay here._

_ They probably wouldn't even notice—well, they probably _would_ notice, actually. But…_

_ I could stay here._

_ Stay out of the battle._

_ I could—_

He stepped through the dark corridor anyway.

When he emerged, he found Amaryllis relaying the battle plan to everyone. Riku didn't really listen, though; he already knew what they were going to do. He surveyed who was in the room, instead.

Amaryllis was here, as were Alpha and Vexen, obviously. Snapdragon was here, along with 7; the two of them were discussing something, actually. And… hadn't Snapdragon been injured? Of course, he must've been healed, for the most part, but that would explain why he and 7 were arguing now. 7 probably didn't want him fighting.

Anyway, their Lexaeus Replica—did he have a classification? Riku couldn't remember—was here. Along with… Thistle. And that was it.

_Amaryllis was serious about those reinforcements, _Riku thought. _That makes… eight of us. Against Axel and Xemnas and 26 and most likely Roxas._

_ The odds technically aren't that bad._

_ Even if you count Xemnas as two people, for being Xemnas, and Axel as two people, while you're at it, that's still 6 to 8. We have them out numbered; though they probably have us out muscled. _

_ Maybe this… won't go that bad._

"So, are we going now?" Snapdragon asked. Amaryllis must've been done with his battle plan explanation.

Amaryllis looked over at Alpha, who shrugged.

"Might as well. Axel's standing guard; but we can distract him while they finish up with Roxas—it can't take 26 too much longer. And it's not like they have anyway of leaving except through us."

Amaryllis nodded.

"I guess we're going now then."

They all started walking. Snapdragon and 7 didn't get far, though, because they were still arguing about whether or not Snapdragon should even be fighting. (7 thought he shouldn't be, but Snapdragon kept insisting that he was fine, and that they needed him for the battle anyway so it didn't matter.)

Riku swallowed, and slowly pulled back, ducking around the nearest corner. He pressed his back against the wall, and then sunk to the ground.

_I really can't do this._

_ I was no good against Axel the first time._

_ Now I'll be facing Axel _and_ Xemnas _and _26 and probably Roxas too…_

He cradled his head in his hands.

_It's too much. I'm not strong enough. Axel was too much for me without trying. Xemnas threw me across a room. I can't. I don't see how I'll be able to hold it out against both of them—even with everyone else there._

_ I-_

_ No, Riku, stop it! Stop thinking like that, you idiot. You'll be fine. You should be fine. Maybe._

He growled slightly. This was really frustrating. He was so sick of having these thoughts running through his head.

There was movement above him. He froze, paralyzed. What should he do? What could he do? He wanted to run. Get out of here. He didn't need someone knowing that he felt like crud right now, on top of everything else. He didn't need sympathy.

"Riku-"

Riku groaned. No, he did _not_ want to deal with Vexen right now.

"What?" he asked, tersely.

"Are you okay?"

_What is he—?_

Riku pulled his hands away from his head, clutching them together for a second in frustration. He didn't look at Vexen. Wouldn't look at Vexen. But—

He wrapped his arms around himself, squeezing his shoulders.

"Of course I'm not okay," he said. He didn't know why he was saying it. It was like there was something inside of him that just had to be released and he couldn't hold it back. "I don't see why you even have to ask me. I thought _you_, of all people, would understand. I _failed._ I couldn't take Axel. And if I can't take him, I certainly can't take Xemnas, and there's no guarantee that I'll be able to take Saix, either, like the Rebellion wants me to. I can't do anything."

There was a moment of silence. Riku cursed himself internally for even saying all that.

Then, slowly, Vexen squatted down in front of him. Riku glanced up, but didn't look at Vexen for long. They were about eye level, though. About.

Again, there was a long moment of silence. Riku could feel Vexen's gaze on him. He didn't know what to do. Tell Vexen to go away? Or—

"Did Larxene tell you that?" Vexen said, finally, his voice quiet. "That because you failed one little mission you aren't good for anything?"

Riku kept his gaze firmly on the floor.

"What's it matter to you?"

"Riku, listen to me. Whatever is going through your head right now—whether it be something that Larxene told you, or something Marluxia told you, or something I told you—it's not true. You aren't weak just because Axel defeated you. And you aren't incapable of anything just because you messed up one time."

Riku didn't move. Didn't look up. Only clutched himself tighter. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to respond? Vexen had a point, didn't he? He just didn't want to listen. He didn't want to—

"Axel only defeated you because he had a clearer head than you did," Vexen continued, ignoring Riku's silence. "You were trying to show off, prove you could take Xemnas, and you probably got a bit full of yourself. Then you started panicking because you couldn't live up to your own high expectations—and of course panicking doesn't help your chances of winning. But you are not weaker than Axel because of that. Besides-" There was a short pause, and Riku glanced up. Vexen was smiling slightly. "Axel had something he was protecting. You know how you are when you're protecting Namine? You know how it's almost impossible—it _is_ impossible, actually—for anything to get past you? That's why you couldn't get past Axel. Because he was protecting Roxas."

Riku stared. He didn't know what to say. He didn't—

He focused his gaze back on the floor. No. It didn't matter what Vexen said. It didn't—

_But he has a point._

_ So what if you couldn't get past Axel? What does it matter?_

_ He was protecting Roxas. It wasn't like he was going to just let you past him—_

"What are you getting at?" Riku snapped. He was in a bad mood. Vexen was _not_ going to snap him out of it.

"I'm just… trying to help."

"Go away."

_I- I don't want to deal with you. I don't care. I don't care. Why do you?_

"Riku, please, don't give up," Vexen said. "You can't walk away from this battle. Sure, maybe you're not the best fighter in this universe, maybe you are, but I know for a fact that you are one of the best in this Castle. The Rebellion will not survive without you."

_No._

_ I-_

_ Why do you care? Why do you—_

"Stop," he said; practically shouted. "Whatever act this is- just stop it, alright?"

He was so frustrated right now. So frustrated with Vexen.

"It's not an act…" Vexen protested. He did not raise his voice. If anything, it seemed to get quieter.

"Oh it's not, is it?" Riku laughed, bitterly, getting to his feet. "Please. Don't humor me. When have you ever cared about me?" He stormed off.

_xXx_

The doors opened. 26 suppressed the urge to groan. What did Axel want _now?_

"Is there any chance we can leave here pretty soon?" Axel asked. "The Rebellion's decided to try and stop us again. I mean, I can try and hold them off, but chances are I won't last terribly long. There's about ten of them."

"26?" Xemnas asked.

"It will be a few minutes, sir."

"Axel, keep them out for as long as possible. We'll leave shortly."

Axel nodded. "Got it." He left again.

"How long will it be, exactly, 26?"

26 swallowed. "I've only barely started on his memories, sir," he said. "It could be a while."

"Will he function without his memories?"

26 frowned. "Yes…"

"Can he fight?"

"He'll hold his own, sir, but I wouldn't suggest relying on him."

"Of course." Xemnas nodded. "We will go. Now. We can finish with his memories when we return to the Castle, can we not?"

"We can," 26 said. "Just give me another minute to get him up and moving."


	154. Thirteen

**Music Suggestion:** Reborn - Thomas Bergersen. (Also: Corruption - Two Steps from Hell)

As for your persistent questions about Sora, I have a blog post explaining it, and there will be a link to said blog post in my most recent blog for probably the next three months until I'm positive you've all seen it. Please. Do not. Ask about Sora. If you haven't read that post. I might just strangle something. I have legitimate reasons for why he's not showing up as frequently, but they're way too in depth to cover in the author's note, so.  
>You know what? I'm going to be super nice. Here just put this at the end of my blog url: "2013/07/okay-so-about-sora . html" and now that I've made it super easy for you you have no reason to not read that post.

Also, I posted something in ASAS you'll want to read. There's ch151 from a couple of different POVs, and then over the course of this week I'll post this chapter from a few different POVs to ASAS. Yup. Keep an eye out for them. There's three. (They're in ASASch47-49)

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><p>They were standing outside the computer room, in a semi-circle, all with their weapons out and prepared to fight. Axel looked between all of them, his cocky attitude not faltering. He had his chakrams at his side, but he held them casually, as if trying to make it look he <em>really<em> wasn't intending to use them.

Riku held his blade in front of him, gripping it tightly. He tried to keep his breathing even. He silently and repetitively reassured himself.

_You'll be fine._

_ Axel was protecting Roxas._

_ It doesn't make you weaker than him._

_ Xemnas caught you off guard._

_ It doesn't mean anything._

_ 26 probably isn't terribly good at fighting. And, even if he is, he shouldn't be much of a challenge._

_ Roxas is all of a few minutes old. Even with memories from before, he probably won't quite have a hold on fighting just yet—I know I didn't this early on—so he won't be much of a threat either._

_ It's all okay._

"I don't see why you're doing this," Axel called, trying to make conversation. "If you were planning on stopping us, you're a little late. We're done here."

"Exactly," Amaryllis said.

"So, what? You were waiting for us to finish Roxas?" Axel laughed. "What for?"

"We're not here for Roxas," Alpha said. "We're here for the Program."

"Good luck getting that!"

"Can we attack him now?" Snapdragon asked, voice low.

"No. He's not harming us," Amaryllis hissed. "We don't need to waste our energy on him. We need to focus on 26. He'll most likely have the external."

"And what are we supposed to do about Axel?"

"Keep stalling him."

"You know, Axel," 7 said, raising his voice and taking a step forward. "You disgust me."

Axel just laughed, not fazed by the insult. "Oh I do, do I?"

7 stood his ground. "Yes. You had no right to bring Roxas back."

"No one said it couldn't be done."

"But just because you _can_ do something doesn't necessarily mean you should. You _can_ jump off a cliff. Does that mean you should?"

Axel thought for a moment. "Depends on the circumstances," he said.

7 shook his head. "That's not the point, Axel. The point is you can't just go bringing Replicas back from the dead willy-nilly."

"And why can't I?"

"Why would you?" 7 asked. His voice was cold. "Why would you, really? It makes their death meaningless. Yes, you may miss them—of course you miss them, if they were dear to you. You may want to bring them back—who wouldn't? You may want, more than anything, just to hold them in your arms again." He swallowed. "But that doesn't give you the right to bring them back from the dead."

Axel started to reply, but then the doors opened behind him. And the first to step out was—

_Roxas_.

There was a brief pause of silence. Riku stared, unsure of what to think. Actually seeing Roxas was like a punch to his stomach and knocked the wind out of him for a second. The idea of them rebuilding Roxas seemed so distant. Almost like it wasn't really happening. But he couldn't deny it now; Roxas was rebuilt, and it was all happening, and it was _real._

Axel took one look at Roxas and grinned. Of course, then Snapdragon attacked him, so he had other things to worry about. Roxas glanced over at Axel probably confused and maybe a bit worried. But before he could worry too much, 26 pushed him forward.

_He looks… kinda scared,_ Riku thought, as he watched Roxas take a few steps in their direction.

_Poor kid._

_ He probably only hardly understands what's going on right now._

_ I wonder how good he is at fighting…_

Riku almost wanted to find out. All he had to do was start forward, and—

"Hey, hotshot! How's it going?"

Riku turned and quickly blocked the bullets that were sent at him. Six. Six bullets. Like always. He was already tired of blocking bullets. Where had Xigbar even come from, anyway? He hadn't been here ten seconds ago.

Riku groaned.

_I don't know what I'll do if he does nothing but shoot bullets at me, like last time._

_ Though…_

_ I'll have an excuse not to fight._

There was only one problem.

Xigbar didn't focus his bullets only on Riku. He fired bullets at everyone else, too.

_Crap._

_ Now we're dealing with Axel and Xemnas _and_ Xigbar, along with 26—who admittedly probably isn't that good at fighting—and Roxas, who actually looks kind of confused. He probably won't be much of a threat._

Riku frowned at the next thought that crossed his mind.

_No, I can't go after Roxas. Just because he's the smallest threat right now, doesn't mean I can just go over and attack him. I'll probably end up slaughtering him…_

The thought was somewhat comforting. At least there was someone in this room who he wouldn't have trouble fighting.

Not that he'd have much trouble fighting most of these people. Everyone with the Rebellion—with the exception of maybe Snapdragon—wasn't much stronger than him. They never had been. He and Axel were pretty evenly matched, if he remembered correctly; provided Axel didn't have the unfair advantage of protecting Roxas. Xemnas… well… Riku didn't want to think too much about his inability to fight Xemnas. Or Xigbar. Because Xigbar was just as bad.

_At least he doesn't have his clone this time._

_ Fighting one of them has to be easier than fighting two of them._

Maybe he should go after 26. Except—wait, no, Alpha already had that covered. Riku could hear him and Amaryllis discussing what they were going to do. Which meant he was useless.

_Not useless,_ he corrected, firmly._ They just don't need my help._

_ But what should I do?_

Attacking Xemnas wasn't a good idea, and Riku wasn't even going to try. He could maybe attack Xigbar. Or Axel—but that was something he didn't want to do, either. His eyes settled back on Roxas.

_No. Not Roxas._

_ I could always help Snapdragon with Axel. Together we should have a shot. Maybe I'll try and rope 7 into it, too._

Riku turned, hearing the shuffling of feet. It sounded like someone was about to attack him. Next his ears registered that Roxas let out a battle cry, and Riku brought up his blade to block Roxas's Keyblade before it smashed into his face. He grunted slightly, taking a step back to keep his balance.

_Whoo. He's pretty strong after all. _

_ He can at least pack quite a punch, anyway._

He looked up at Roxas's face. Their eyes met. Riku frowned slightly. Something was off. There was… he didn't know. He couldn't place it.

His eyes darted down to Roxas's Keyblade. It drew his attention because it looked just like Sora's. Exactly like Sora's. Except… Roxas's was perfect—unbroken, unmarred.

_Blank,_ Riku couldn't help but think.

Sure, it was the exact same as Sora's, and that made sense, with Roxas being a Replica of Sora and all, regardless of how little he actually looked like Sora. But that Keyblade, in Roxas's hands, didn't look right. It didn't look like it belonged to him, and, in a sense, it didn't.

_To be honest, it looks like it's waiting to be filled with a different shape. Like it's a blank template, or something._

Roxas backed off, distancing himself from Riku. Riku automatically fell into his battle stance, out of habit more than anything else.

_A bit… like its wielder._

Riku couldn't deny Roxas's almost robotic actions. Sure, Roxas seemed uncertain, and maybe a bit hesitant, but otherwise his movements were calculated, perfect—they lacked soul.

_Just like Roxas's eyes,_ Riku realized.

There was no emotion in Roxas's face. None at all. Riku figured that it had something to do with the fact that Roxas had been up and moving for about five minutes. The thought still unnerved him, though.

_I had more emotions, at that time, didn't I?_

He wasn't sure.

_ How long was it after I was created before I fought Real Thing?_

Roxas prepared to attack again, and Riku readied himself to dodge out of the way, as it seemed the best way to respond to the attack that Roxas was about to pull. Before Roxas could move, though, Axel grabbed him by the shoulder, holding him back. Axel had gotten away from Snapdragon, somehow.

_Xigbar probably distracted him,_ Riku figured.

"Careful there!" Axel said. "Maybe not the best idea to be attacking Riku. Don't want to get yourself killed, do you? C'mon."

Roxas just nodded, and Axel led him off without a problem.

Riku watched them go, deciding not to attack them.

_Axel thinks that… I'm strong enough to take Roxas. And kill him._

The thought surprised him a bit.

_I mean, I know I was thinking those same thoughts myself, but that's because Roxas looked weak. Which certainly isn't true._

_ But…_

_ Axel thinks I'm a threat._

Riku felt a bit better, honestly. The thought made him… kind of… happy. Someone actually saw him as a threat. He wasn't a total weakling.

"Well it's too late now; he's gone!" Alpha shouted, suddenly. Riku looked over in his direction, surprised. Amaryllis and Thistle had 26 restrained, and Alpha did not look happy. Riku started in that direction.

"26 didn't have the external," Vexen explained, stopping Riku.

Riku frowned.

"Then who does?"

_And no wonder why Alpha's upset._

"I'm not sure," Vexen said.

26 pulled himself away from Amaryllis and Thistle, and stalked out of the room, his head high, as if flaunting that his pride—though damaged—was still intact.

"So what do we do now?" Riku asked. He tried to hide the smugness in his voice. Alpha's plan had failed.

"We-"

"Looking for this?" Xigbar called, drawing everyone's attention to him. He held the external.

It took all of two seconds for Amaryllis and Thistle to start in his direction. They didn't get far before Xigbar warped away.

"Over here!" He was not far from the Lexaeus Replica, now, but he warped before the Lexaeus Replica could do anything. He appeared not far from Riku. Riku glanced over at him, his grip on his blade tightening.

"You aren't even trying!" Xigbar laughed.

_Wanna bet?_

Riku leapt at Xigbar, but Xigbar warped out of the way again. Riku hit the ground, hard, but retained his balance. He'd been half-expecting that to happen, honestly. He quickly located Xigbar again, and found that Xigbar was now upside down right above Alpha, dangling the external in front of Alpha's face.

"Here, have it," he said.

Alpha didn't move.

"I'm serious, take it."

Alpha still didn't move.

Riku wanted to shout at him.

_You've got to be kidding me, Alpha! It's right in front of you! Just grab it before—_

Xigbar warped again, so that he was standing (right side up again) about five feet away from Alpha. "Here," he said, tossing the external.

Alpha dove to catch it. It disappeared before he could grab it, though.

Riku swore.

Xigbar'd just manipulated the space around the external, so that it landed in his hand instead. He grinned. "I could do this all day!"

"Xigbar," Xemnas said, sternly.

Xigbar looked over at Xemnas, then dramatically rolled his eyes. "Or we could leave now, you know. Doesn't matter much to me." He was trying too hard to sound casual. Nevertheless, he vanished. Warped away.

All eyes shifted to Xemnas.

Xemnas surveyed the room, slowly, considering them each in turn.

_What's he going to do? _Riku thought.

_He's not going to just kill us, is he?_

Not liking that thought, Riku readied his blade, just in case.

Xemnas's eyes fell on him.

"Pitiful," he said.

And then he, too, vanished.


	155. A Bit of Kindness

This is kind of late! Sorry about that! Been distracted and... distracted... and... writing. Yeah. Anyway, I don't think I'll have a chapter commentary for this chapter... I didn't write anything down in my notes and I couldn't think of to say when reading through it...

There is quite a bit of other stuff on the blog, though! Maybe check it out?

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><p>Riku staggered back, stunned, as if Xemnas's words had been a physical thing. They'd been like a hammer to his heart, cracking down the defenses he'd put up and letting the self-doubt flood him again.<p>

_Pitiful._

_ He thinks you're pitiful._

_ Pathetic._

_ Failure._

The words wouldn't stop. It was getting hard to breathe.

_Useless._

_ That's what you are._

_ No good for anything._

_ Can't help anyone._

_ Can't do anything right._

_ You're attempts are pitiful._

_ You're pitiful._

_ You're—_

"Riku!"

Vexen's voice pierced through it all. He grasped Riku by the shoulders, tightly, steadying him.

Riku squeezed his eyes shut. Bit his lip. Clenched his fists—which was odd, because what happened to his blade? He wasn't holding it anymore. He must've dropped it. This was not where he wanted to be, though. He did not want to have Vexen steadying him.

_I'd almost rather let the voices get to me._

"It wasn't directed at you," Vexen said, firmly. "Xemnas was referring to all of us, because our attempt at retaliation was pitiful. Which it really was. No offense, Alpha."

Alpha said something in response. Riku didn't hear him. He was trying to block everything out. If only he could block Vexen out…

"You are _not_ pitiful, Riku. You never have been. And you've never been a failure, either."

_You're one to say that!_

_ Didn't you always—_

Anger bubbled up inside of him. Riku shoved Vexen away, taking three, four, five steps back. "_Stop it!_" he screamed. He didn't know what else to do. He didn't understand Vexen. Vexen had never acted like this before and it was driving him nuts. "Stop- stop _lying_ to me!"

_Because he is lying._

_ I've always been a failure to him!_

"I'm not lying," Vexen said. He sounded angry, too.

"Oh, you're not, are you?" Riku clutched his head with one hand, trying to find something to steady himself. "But you always said that I was a failure!"

"Riku, I didn't-"

"You didn't?" Riku laughed, bitterly, but his voice broke, slightly, tears threatening to come. He felt something clenching in his stomach, something tearing at his heart. He was hurt. Betrayed. "Didn't what? Didn't _mean_ it?" His voice cracked, slightly.

"Riku-"

"So you didn't mean it, then, when you told Larxene that you didn't care what she did to me because I was just a failure and meant nothing to you?" Riku asked, _demanded,_ screaming. "You didn't mean it, when you said that I was worthless, because I couldn't do anything you wanted me to? Because I couldn't do anything _right?_"

"Riku, please, I never-"

Riku shook his head. "No." He could feel himself trembling. "No, just-" He swallowed, trying to keep ahold of himself. "Just leave me alone."

And he ran, getting away from there as fast as he could. He didn't want to hear what Vexen had to say. It was probably all lies, anyway.

_xXx_

Riku clutched his knees, tightly. He was sitting in his corner. Because that was where he always ran to when he was confused and hurt.

_I don't understand._

_ Why am I so upset about how Vexen treated me?_

_ It's never bothered me before._

_ It's just—_

He gripped his knees tighter.

_I don't understand him. Why is he acting like he cares about me? He never has before! And that's what's driving me nuts. Because I don't understand what he's trying to do and maybe it scares me. Maybe I don't like it._

He hung his head, touching his forehead to his knees, trying not to tremble.

_I'm so sick of all this._

He just wanted to be anywhere else. He was so tired of this stupid Rebellion, so tired of Vexen, so tired of failing, so tired of having to deal with a panic attack every other day. Maybe he should go back to the Islands—it's not like there was any point staying here when the Rebellion was basically over. The Organization had the Program, they had Roxas, and the Rebellion was nothing more than a bunch of fugitives.

"Hey."

He looked up. Namine was standing not far from him.

"I was wondering where you were," she said.

He swallowed.

"How'd you find me?"

"Well… no one said they'd seen you since you ran off," she explained. "So I figured you came here."

"Mm."

She made her way over and sat down next to him.

"You and Vexen get in a fight?" she asked, quietly.

He turned away from her. He didn't want to talk about this. He most certainly didn't want to talk about this. Stupid Vexen. Stupid Namine finding out about things. How did she do that, anyway?

"He doesn't make sense," Riku said.

"He doesn't?"

Riku groaned, slightly. He didn't want to talk. Why was he talking? What was it about Namine that made him do this? He bit his lip to keep his mouth shut this time. He wasn't going to talk about it. Not now. Probably not later—though a part of him thought that maybe talking about it later with Namine wasn't a bad idea.

There was silence for a moment.

Namine shifted slightly.

"How'd things go, huh?" she asked, finally, changing the subject.

"Terrible," Riku replied. "We failed. The Organization has the full Program, and they have Roxas."

"And?"

"That's _bad._"

"Why?"

Riku looked over at her, confused. How could she not understand?

"Because the Organization has the full Program. Because we were trying to keep that away from them in the first place. Because… they have Roxas. That's bad." He was beginning to feel frustrated. "It's bad because I-" he paused, choked down the word that was trying to leave his tongue, and continued: "I'm worried about Roxas."

Namine stared at him for a long moment.

"You are?"

Riku swallowed.

"Yes," he said. Words were hard. Every time he opened his mouth he wanted to say _"I failed"_ just so he could hear Namine tell him that that wasn't true. But he couldn't work up the courage to ask for her comfort so he just said: "It's just… it makes me uneasy. Seeing Roxas."

Talking about Roxas distanced him from his own pain.

"There was something… off, about him. He looked like Roxas. Sounded like Roxas. But it was like… he lacked everything that made him Roxas." Riku shrugged. "Maybe I'm exaggerating. I know he was created all of five minutes before he came out, and maybe that's all it was, but there was still something off about him."

Namine just shook her head. "I wouldn't know."

"I know. I just-" Riku swallowed again. "I'm afraid of what the Organization might do to him. I'm afraid they'll turn him into their puppet. Like-" The words were thick on his tongue. It was hard to force them out. "Like they did with me. I wouldn't want anyone else to go through that. But- But I can't do anything about it. I can't just steal him from the Organization. I can't-" He ground his palms into his eyes, trying to hold back his frustration, trying to hold back his tears.

_I can't do that because it's ridiculous._

_ I can't do that because I can't even fight Axel._

_ I can't do that because I'm a failure._

Namine let out a long breath. "I think you need some cheering up," she said, after a moment. She stood up, then grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. "C'mon. I have something I want to show you."

"What is it?" Riku asked, grateful for the distraction.

"You'll see," Namine told him, as she led him off. There was a smile in her voice, and the smile crept its way into Riku's face, too.

He was mildly surprised when she led him to _his_ room. She paused outside of the door, let go of his hand, and reached for the doorknob, before pausing. She turned to him, pulling her hands away from the door and clenching them together, almost nervously.

"You first."

Riku looked her over, trying to peg why she was so nervous. He couldn't really tell, though, so he went ahead and opened his door.

At first, it seemed like nothing was different. He glanced around his room, once, trying to figure out what Namine wanted to show him. Then something caught his eye, and he slowly looked _up._ His eyes widened in shock, and his jaw probably dropped, too.

His ceiling had been painted to look like the sky.

_Namine_ had painted his ceiling to look like the sky.

And it looked pretty amazing.

"Whoa…"

"You like it?"

"Like it? Namine, I- wow." He turned to her. "It looks… wow."

She beamed.

"That's good. I was a bit worried; I was afraid it wasn't enough, just being the ceiling. I'd planned to paint your walls, too, but I couldn't think of what to paint them and I didn't have enough time and…" She trailed off, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, clearly anxious.

"It's fine," he said. He looked back up at the sky—_the ceiling_, he had to correct himself, chuckling slightly. He couldn't deny the fact that some of the illusion of it actually being the sky was lost due to the walls remaining white, but, otherwise… "It looks beautiful."

"You really think so?"

Riku nodded, turning to look at her again. "Why'd you…?" he began, but the question ended there, leaving the rest of it to float around unasked.

Namine shifted her weight slightly. "Well, you've had a kind of crappy week," she said. "I wanted to do something special for you. To cheer you up. I was gonna draw something, but everything I could think of drawing didn't seem special enough. _Drawing_ didn't seem special enough; I do that all the time! I mean, I know you would've liked whatever I drew you, _whatever_ I did for you, but I wanted to do something _really_ special." She gestured up at the ceiling. "I decided I'd do this, because, well… I thought maybe you were getting tired of seeing the stupid whiteness of these walls every day."

He smiled. It really was special, and a nice gesture. In fact, he couldn't entirely wrap his mind around it. No one was usually so nice to him.

"You didn't have to do this for me," he said.

"I never said I had to," Namine replied, as if she'd been expecting that. "I said I wanted to. There's a difference, Riku."

He wasn't sure if he wanted to grin or if he wanted to cry. The idea of Namine being so kind to him—_wanting_ to do something special for him—was really hard for him to grasp. He was honestly having a hard time believing it, actually.

No one was ever kind to him. Or if they were, it was usually only out of convenience. No one went out of their way to do something _special_ for him.

And yet here was Namine. Who'd taken up most of her day just to paint his ceiling to look like the sky. For no other reason than to cheer him up.

_And there's also Amaryllis,_ he thought. _Standing up for me when he didn't have to._

_ And Joseph. But he almost doesn't count. He's nice to everyone._

_ And I can't forget Aerith. Who's kind enough to let me stay at her house and heal my wounds and—_

_ And Namine painted my ceiling to look like the sky. Because she wanted to cheer me up._

Riku sat down on the ground, not quite having the strength to stand up anymore. He covered his face with his hands, trying to hide the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. He didn't understand why he was crying. He wasn't sad. Wasn't upset. If anything, he was _happy_.

Because even in the midst of the worst he could put himself through, even in the midst of all the self-doubt he was drowning in, even in the midst of all the "everyone thinks you're a failure", there was kindness.

And Namine had painted his ceiling to look like the sky.

"Riku? Something wrong?" Namine quickly sat down next to him.

He shook his head. Nothing was wrong. But words could not explain what he was feeling right now, and even if they could, he didn't quite want to tell Namine what was going through his head.

"Is it the picture?" she asked.

He shook his head again. "No," he said, trying to keep his voice from cracking. "That's- there's… nothing wrong with it. It's beautiful." He wished he could stop crying. Why was he even crying, anyway?

"Okay." Namine didn't sound very sure. "Are you hurt, then? Are you-"

He just shook his head.

"Riku, I don't understand, why are you-"

He reached out and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. He held her there, held her tight, buried his face in her hair. "Thank you," he whispered. No other words could come. "You really didn't have to."

"I- I know," Namine said, again. "Like I said, I wanted to. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," he told her. Maybe it was a lie. He couldn't tell. He honestly had no idea whether or not he was okay. For right now… he was perfectly content to sit under the sky Namine painted for him, and hold her close.

She shifted so she could wrap her arms around him, too, and she hugged him tight. She held onto him, and he held onto her, silently grateful for the comfort.

_Am I a failure?_ he wanted to ask—still wanted to ask. He wanted to hear her tell him otherwise. Because he really needed to hear that, he thought. But he couldn't make himself open his mouth. Couldn't work up the courage to ask it. Not because he was scared she might tell him otherwise. Just because he was scared. Maybe scared to let her know that he thought that of himself, even though she probably already knew.

Besides, it was all okay. For now, it was all okay. And so long as Namine was here to keep offering him her kindness, it would all be okay.


	156. Strength of the Heart

I... can't think of anything to say. Not. Really.

Oh, I didn't upload Vexen's POV of ch154 to ASAS yet. I will later. Tomorrow, maybe?

* * *

><p>26 let out a long breath. It'd only taken him another two hours, but he'd gotten Roxas's memories restored to Xemnas's liking. It would've gone quicker if he hadn't needed to go through each file, peg which moments had Xion in them, and then manually remove the Code relating to those moments from Roxas's file. Then again, there wasn't any other way to remove memories from a Replica, so it would have taken him two hours regardless.<p>

"Everything is functional, sir," he reported, as he sent Roxas through Processing again. "As soon as he is finished Processing, he will be ready to go."

"Good," Xemnas said.

26 swallowed. There was something else he needed to say.

"However, sir, I must warn you-" He swallowed again, trying not to meet Xemnas's eye. He hated talking to Xemnas so much. It was too nerve-wracking. Why could've he have gotten 37's cool confidence and ability to backtalk to any authority figure? Not that 26 would backtalk. But the confidence would be nice…

"Yes?" Xemnas asked. His tone suggested that he didn't feel he had time for this.

"Well, even if I haven't returned all of Roxas's memories to him, there is a chance he may still get some back," 26 said, quickly. He swallowed yet again, still nervous.

"Oh?"

He'd gotten Xemnas's attention.

"Yes, I'm afraid," 26 said. It was best to just keep all emotion out of his voice. "The heart—even that of a Replica—can be powerful. The memories are… still in his data, technically, though suppressed. It will be hard for him to reach them, but it is not impossible."

_Yes, I have removed the Code for those memories from his Data… but there are still pathways to follow that could lead him to the removed memories. And, even then… the heart is such an incomprehensible thing. You can't confine it with Coding. It can overcome most Programming._

_ If Roxas really wants those memories—and if he puts his heart into it—he will certainly be able to reach them again._

"Is there any way we can prevent this?"

26 shook his head. "Not entirely, no. You can't Program restrictions on the heart. I have… done my best to Program him so that, if he were to remember any undesirable things, to simply disregard them. As dreams. I'm not sure how well it will hold up, though."

_However…_

He frowned, getting an idea.

"However," he said.

_If I were to-_

_ It could work._

_ Yes._

_ It could work rather well._

"I… I _suppose,_ I might be able to install a fail-safe," he continued. "Make it so that, _if_ he remember, something in his Data will trigger and… _redirect_ his heart to… I'm not sure…." He trailed off, muttering, as he ran the idea over a bit more thoroughly. "If he remembers Xion… I do not know. If he remembers what happened to her, he will undoubtedly be angry. If we redirect his heart and channel that anger… but… what to do with it? Hmm… Tell him that the only way to bring her back is to complete Kingdom Hearts?"

It wasn't a bad suggestion. Xemnas wanted Kingdom Hearts complete. Roxas—the Keyblade—was necessary to complete Kingdom Hearts. If they were to channel Roxas's anger into completing Kingdom Hearts by feeding him false promises… It could work. It really could.

"Blame her death on Riku," Xemnas said, simply.

26 glanced up, a bit shocked. _That_ idea, however… That had holes. Or, _larger_ holes.

"But, sir—" he began.

"He'd kill Riku, and with her death avenged, he'd be… more reasonable, would he not?"

"I- I suppose," 26 admitted. _But- _"But wouldn't Riku just kill him?"

"Make him stronger than Riku. Then there won't be a problem."

26 pursed his lips.

"That- that will take a lot of time, sir. I need more data. And there's no telling how long—"

"Then install the fail-safe and get him running," Xemnas interrupted. "We can make him stronger than Riku later."

26 nodded. There was no arguing with Xemnas, no matter how much he wanted to. He hesitated, but turned back to the computer and got to work.

_xXx_

Sora sat on the bed he'd been provided; _his_ bed, he supposed he could call it, though the idea of anything here _belonging_ to him didn't comfort him at all. He was studying the star-shaped charm he'd bought in Agrabah. The charm the merchant had been so eager to sell him. It was supposed to bring him good luck, apparently.

_Fat load of good it's done, though_, he thought, bitterly.

_My luck's been _worse_ since I got this thing, if anything._

While it was probably only coincidence, but Maleficent had found him not moments after getting it. And ever since Maleficent found him… He didn't even know what he was doing here. Why did she need him? Not that it mattered much; he couldn't exactly get away. His star shard was shot, and getting away from Maleficent while they were on another world wouldn't exactly be easy. Possible, maybe, if he just gave Pete the slip, but where would he go then?

_And how do I know she won't find me again?_

_ I bet she's tracking the charm! She probably set me up; talked that merchant into giving it to me. And the lousy swindler decided just to get munny off of it, too._

His eyes narrowed.

"Piece of junk," he muttered, raising it to throw—

_"Wait!"_

Sora froze.

That was right. The charm spoke. He recognized the voice. It was the same voice that the charm used last time it had spoken to him. Except… the voice was more of a mental nudge, this time. Something he could only hear in his heart.

The voice was also… he had a feeling that the voice belonged to a good friend, though he wasn't quite certain where _that_ feeling was coming from.

He shook his head, then held the charm out in front of him, turning it over a few times as he examined it.

_"Can you hear me?"_

The charm had a funny way of speaking, actually. It was like each word was spliced together—taken from a recording and then strung together to form a sentence. Borrowed words to start a new conversation.

"Y- yes," Sora said, quietly. He didn't want to speak too loud, for fear of being heard. He was silently grateful that the charm's voice was mental, and not vocal.

_"Good. I need to tell you something."_

"Okay."

_"They're wrong, you know. About the darkness. It isn't a path you have to take. It isn't your only option."_

Sora swallowed, silently relieved to hear those words.

"It- it isn't?"

He wasn't sure if he doubted it or not. Even if he didn't _have_ to take it, he didn't see any way of doing anything else, either.

_"No."_

"But- but how do I fight it? How do I get away from it?" Sora shook his head, hands unknowingly tightening around the charm. "I- I can't. I can't fight it and I can't break free."

The charm—or whoever was speaking to him—seemed to be expecting that. If its voice didn't consist of stitched together words with different inflections, then he thought it might've had a touch of humor to its voice.

_"I know. It's hard. I've struggled too. And I can't tell you I won… But I can tell you that you won't get anywhere if you don't fight."_

"Hmph," Sora chuckled, a bit dryly. "That's encouraging…" He hoped the charm could hear the sarcasm in his voice. "It's not like I can really fight, though," he told it. "I'm sort of stuck here. And even then, it's not like I've been much good at fighting the darkness before."

So far, he'd only scraped by through pure luck, or because someone—his Shadow—just didn't want to kill him yet, because it would "ruin the fun".

_ "Lighten up, alright? You can't keep doubting yourself like that. You have to try and be strong."_

"I don't think I can do that."

If there was anything Sora wasn't, it was strong. Riku was stronger than him. Maleficent was stronger than him. Even his own Shadow was stronger than him.

_"You have to try. Darkness can always find its way into a wounded heart. Doubting yourself is only inviting it in."_

"But I can't-"

_"If you give up on yourself now, then the battle is already lost."_

Sora hung his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

_Then maybe there's no hope for me, _he thought. _I feel lost. I feel defeated. This doesn't feel like a battle, it feels like fate. Punishment, maybe. _

"I just…" he began. "I think I have already lost."

There was a long pause; long enough that Sora wasn't sure if the charm was going to respond.

_"Don't you have something to fight for?"_

Sora took a moment.

"…No," he answered, finally. He didn't have Kairi. He didn't have anyone else.

_"What about your friends?"_

"Kairi wouldn't forgive me."

And it really didn't matter to him what anyone else thought. Kairi's was the only opinion that mattered. And she wouldn't forgive him. No one else—_nothing_ else—mattered.

_"You sure about that?"_

Sora shrugged. "Pretty sure. I've been awful to her."

_"She might be more forgiving than you think."_

The thought was accompanied with a feeling of patience, and a bit of uncertainty.

A few flashes of what Sora assume to be memory flickered through his mind.

_It was the woman again, with blue hair. She seemed disappointed, but understanding. And maybe she was a bit… sad?_

_ But she was relieved to see he was alright._

_ She was urging him to keep fighting._

_ "Now return my friend's heart, or pay the price!"_

_ And she was fighting for him, when all else failed._

Sora's eyes widened.

A gap was forming in the hold the darkness had on his heart.

_Would Kairi…_

_ Would she… do that for me?_

He didn't know. Maybe he didn't want to find out. Maybe he didn't want to find out that Kairi wouldn't actually do that for him—because that would hurt more than anything else. And the darkness slowly tightened its grip on his heart, closing the gap.

Anger flooded Sora. He screamed and chucked the charm across the room. It hit the opposite wall before clattering to the ground. Sora took a few breaths, feeling a bit strained after the outburst. The rage left him.

Slightly surprised at himself, and feeling bad, Sora quickly bent down to pick up the charm. It was cold to the touch, and any buzz of life was gone from it. Whoever had been speaking through it had gone silent.

_Probably annoyed because I threw them across the room. Ha._

Sora slowly cradled his head in his hands, feeling worse than he had before.


	157. Piece of Peace

I don't have anything to say yay boring author's notes

* * *

><p>Kairi let out a long breath that was more a yawn than anything else. She didn't <em>feel<em> tired. If anything, she felt wide awake, despite her body's protests to the contrary. Currently she was lying on her stomach in the grass of some world—Tifa'd mentioned its name earlier, but Kairi hadn't caught it because a bunch of Heartless had attacked them not long after. She was _supposed_ to be sleeping, like Tifa was, but, again, she didn't feel tired.

Kairi held her hands out in front of her, conjuring up a small light between them, and she smiled. It was really exciting to be able to do this; and it was also the reason why she couldn't sleep. She was still full of the exhilaration from most of today, which they had spent battling Heartless (there'd been a lot of them in this town and even the surrounding areas). It felt really nice to not only be able to defend herself, but to also be capable of doing usually _severe_ damage to Heartless.

She tossed the ball of light between her hands, her smile widening.

_It's funny, almost, _she thought to herself. _I told Sora when we were kids that I didn't want to fight, and here I am now, fighting almost like I'm a natural._

Of course, that statement probably wasn't entirely correct. Even if she could do quite a bit of damage to Heartless, her light wasn't nearly as effective against any other monsters. She found that out yesterday, when she and Tifa had run into some strange white creatures. Tifa had mentioned a name for them… Nobodies, was it? Kairi couldn't quite remember. They were a pain to get rid of, though; much harder than Heartless.

_The smaller ones weren't that much trouble. It was the larger ones with spears that were a pain to do anything about._

Kairi let out a huffy breath at the thought. She would've been better off if she was better at this fighting thing. Her fighting skills were good enough that she was able to defend herself, but they certainly weren't the greatest. Her ability to wield Light made up for her lack of fighting prowess, at least against the Heartless. Against any other enemy…

Kairi tossed her little ball of light up into the air a few times, playing catch with herself.

"Kairi," Tifa said, wearily.

Kairi dropped the ball of light, and hissed a little as the energy left her. She'd used a lot of light today, and a lot of her energy with it. Even the drain of such a little amount of light was almost too much for her.

"Mm?" she said.

"You should sleep."

Kairi sighed. But she knew Tifa was right. Her vision had blurred slightly after that drain of energy, and she could probably use a good night's rest to regain her strength.

"Alright…" she muttered.

_I don't feel at all tired, though,_ she thought, a bit annoyed with herself. She rolled over onto her back so she could stare up at the stars. If there was anything she enjoyed about traveling, it was seeing the stars every night.

_The stars look almost exactly the same as they do at home. So it's… comforting, to just sit and stare at them like this._

_ Well, _lie _here and stare at them._

Kairi chuckled slightly, closing her eyes. Her body felt tired, even if her mind was awake. It felt good to just close her eyes… and…

She was asleep within seconds.

_xXx_

Axel looked up, hearing the sound of footsteps coming toward him. He couldn't tell who it was just by the sound of their gait—there were too many people wandering around this place for him to keep it straight in his head. He smiled, though, when he saw who it was.

"Yo! Roxas!" he called, raising his hand in a partial wave. This was the first time he'd seen Roxas up and walking since Castle Oblivion. Roxas had immediately gone back into editing the moment they returned to base.

Roxas paused, staring blankly at him for a moment.

"Axel," he said, finally, his tone a bit short.

Axel's smile faltered. That was… odd. He scratched the back of his head, trying to put up an I-don't-care-much attitude to blow it off. "Well, that's not the way to greet your best friend, is it?" he asked, half-jokingly, though genuinely confused about the whole thing.

Roxas stared at him for a moment more.

"Friends?" he asked. It sounded like the concept wasn't entirely clear in his head.

"Yeah," Axel replied, drawing the word out. "We're friends, aren't we?"

The blank look on Roxas's face was soon replaced by recognition. He flashed a half-smile at Axel. "Right," he said.

Axel regarded Roxas carefully, not sure what to think. That was a weird reaction. But… maybe he had to cut Roxas some slack—he'd just gotten out of editing, after all.

_Still…_

"You alright, Roxas?"

Roxas nodded, shrugging slightly. "Everything's just a bit foggy. 26 said it should clear up soon."

Exactly. He was still getting used to being back, most likely.

"Well, it's nice to see you out and about," Axel said, putting his smile back on. "Say, you still remember everything?"

Roxas gave him a funny look, obviously thinking the question stupid.

"'Course I do, Axel," he replied, slowly. "What, did you think I'd forget?"

Axel shook his head. "No…"

_…I just, thought you'd be a bit less _laid-back_ about everything. You were killed. And there's that whole business with Xion. Hmm…_

_ Then again, I think 26 said something about he could only restore the memories that were still on Roxas's file. Which… _probably_ didn't include him dying. I guess that's not a problem—he's probably better off not remembering that._

_ As for Xion…_

Axel wasn't quite sure what to think about Roxas not mentioning her. Though he supposed, given how Roxas had first regarded him, everything concerning her could be just as foggy. That, or maybe Roxas just didn't want to think too much about it.

_I'll just… not say anything about her unless he brings it up._

"Gee, Axel," Roxas laughed, punching him playfully in the arm. "Some friend you are! Thinking I'd forget everything just because I was out of commission for a few months."

Axel chuckled, rubbing his arm. He didn't remember Roxas being able to punch that hard, but, he found it hard to care too much. "Hey, just gotta check, you know?"

"Roxas, Axel."

They both turned, seeing who was addressing them. It was 26. Axel frowned slightly, and, if anything, Roxas lit up a bit—_just excited to see a familiar face,_ Axel told himself.

"What do you want?" Axel asked.

26 stared at him for a long moment, as if debating something. From the looks of it, there was something on the tip of his tongue that he was trying to hold back. Axel wasn't sure what it was, but he entertained himself by thinking it was some bitter remark about the fact his plan had gone so well and 26 wasn't happy about it.

"Lord Xemnas wishes you take him on a… test mission," 26 said, his tone resigned. "To make sure he still… has a grasp on everything."

"Hey, I'm right here!" Roxas protested.

"Ah, come on, Roxas, what's a little practice run gonna hurt anyone?" Axel asked, nudging Roxas. "We can run around Twilight Town and kill a couple Heartless, can't we?"

"Alright," Roxas sighed, though he didn't sound terribly unhappy about the whole idea.

"Good, report to me when you get back," 26 said. "And Axel, let me know if anything goes wrong."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Right, _we'll_ be sure to let you know." He turned to Roxas. "You ready?"

Roxas nodded enthusiastically.

Axel's mouth twitched upwards in a slight smile, and he formed a dark corridor.

"Let's go, then."

_xXx_

They emerged in Twilight Town—right in the middle of Station Plaza. It certainly wasn't the most _discreet_ portion of town, but it wasn't like anyone had ever noticed newcomers showing up here before. Axel stretched.

"You ready to fight some Heartless, Roxas?"

"'Course I am!" Roxas grinned and summoned his Keyblade to him. Axel's eyes widened at the sight of it. Roxas's Keyblade looked… different. Not three hours earlier—back in Castle Oblivion—it'd looked… plainer. Silver and gold and fairly simple.

Now, Roxas's Keyblade was black, and much more intricate in design. The guard was formed by two demon wings—also black—and the teeth of the blade… Axel wasn't sure from the angle he was looking at. But it was all certainly different.

"That's new," he said, gesturing to the Keyblade.

"It is?" Roxas held it up, studying it for a long moment. He nodded in approval. "It is. I thought it was." He lowered it and turned to Axel. "I wonder why it changed."

Axel shrugged, clueless on this subject. "I dunno."

Roxas's face scrunched up in concentration. "Well, maybe-" The sound of Heartless appearing interrupted him, though. He turned, a small grin working its way onto his face. "Let's see how it works on Heartless!" he exclaimed, his previous train of thought forgotten.

Axel summoned his chakrams to him, not arguing. A group of Guardians had appeared, and this wasn't necessarily the time to chat. He started to set the nearest one on fire, but then reconsidered, deciding to wait and see how well Roxas could handle this.

Surprisingly, especially for having just been Rebuilt and still readjusting to everything, Roxas handled it _very_ well. In fact, out of the three Guardians, Axel only killed one, and it'd taken a lot of damage from Roxas before being sent his way.

"You've certainly gotten back into the swing of things!" Axel said, twirling a chakram around his fingers.

"I told you so!" Roxas replied, grinning. The grin seemed rather… cocky, and maybe over-confident. That was odd for Roxas. At least, Axel couldn't remember Roxas ever grinning like that before.

_Eh, I'm worrying too much. I'd be feeling pretty confident, too, if I'd taken out three Guardians all on my own._

"Let's keep going, yeah?" Roxas said, and, before Axel could reply, ran off.

_xXx_

About an hour later, after sweeping through Twilight Town _three_ times at Roxas's behest, they returned to base. Roxas headed off to his room, saying he needed to check on something, and Axel went to report to 26. It was he who 26 wanted to hear from, anyway. He also had some questions for the Vexen Replica…

"How'd he do?" 26 asked.

Axel scratched his head, and let out a long breath.

"Perfectly fine. I don't see why you were so worried about him."

"I wasn't. Just making sure everything was in check—you can never be too careful." 26 shrugged. "Did he handle everything well?"

Axel nodded. "Better than I think I've seen him handle anything, actually." He still couldn't quite get over his shock. Partially because he was surprised he could feel shocked, when he had no heart. "You should've seen him kill some of those Heartless! One swipe of his Keyblade, and they were gone." He frowned, then, making eye contact with 26. "Since when was he that strong?"

"I may have upped his strength a bit," 26 said. "Trying to make up for lost time."

"Alright," Axel said, and swallowed. It seemed…

_ Well, perfectly logical, _he admitted. _Especially for a Vexen Replica._

"Guess I can't argue about that. What about his memories? Does he have all of them?"

"All that were on his file, yes."

_ Thought so._

"So he is missing a few?"

26 nodded. "Yes."

"Which ones?"

"Just the ones right before his death," 26 said. "He updated right before that, luckily enough."

"Mmm…" Right, just what he'd suspected. "What about his memories of Xion?" Axel asked.

There was a slight pause.

"They're all there," 26 responded, flatly. It seemed like he was trying to keep any and all emotion out of his voice.

Axel raised his eyebrows, not sure if he believed it. "They are? He hasn't mentioned her."

"And he might not," 26 said. "He might rather move on and forget about it, you know. We all handle death differently, Axel." He turned and walked off, leaving it at that.


	158. I've got you

HEY GUYS I DID A POST ON NAMIKU OVER ON MY BLOG. I'm only mentioning because I meant to do it for like a year now and finally got it done. Whoohoo! (there's a link to it in my latest post)

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><p>"So… now what?" Amaryllis asked.<p>

They were all sitting around a coffee table in the Main Room: Riku, Namine, Amaryllis, Alpha, Vexen, 19, and 29, were, anyway.

Riku and Namine were in their usual spot. Namine was drawing, and Riku had an arm around her, holding her protectively while not interfering with her drawing; something he'd perfected only recently. 19 was sitting on the other end of their couch, looking a bit nervous and literally on the edge of his seat. Amaryllis was sitting in a chair on the other side of Riku, and was currently looking in Alpha's direction. Alpha sat on the couch opposite Riku, and had his laptop in his lap, typing away at it. Vexen sat on the other end of Alpha's couch. 29 sat in a chair adjacent to Vexen, keeping a keen eye on Joseph and Toby, who were not-quite-successfully drilling what Tifa had taught them when they'd last been in Hollow Bastion.

"I'm trying to see if I can hack back into the Program and change the passwords," Alpha told Amaryllis.

"What good's that gonna do?" Riku asked.

"Well, if I change the passwords, then we'll have the Program, and they won't," Alpha explained. "We still have the Main Computer—I didn't move the functions _to_ the external, I only copied them to it. So, we'll…" He trailed off, frowning.

"Not be able to do much without the database," 29 finished, before directing his attention back in Joseph's direction.

"But they won't have the Program, and that's what matters," Alpha said, firmly.

"What about the external?" Vexen asked. "Don't we want the database back?"

Alpha huffed. "One step at a time!"

"We can always send someone to steal the external back," Amaryllis suggested.

"It'll be missed," Alpha muttered.

"So will the passwords," Riku retorted.

"Fair enough."

"How far have you gotten, anyway?" Vexen asked, looking at Alpha. "With figuring out the passwords?"

"Not having any more luck than I normally do…" Alpha said. He sounded miffed.

"Can I try?"

Alpha sighed, and was silent for a long while. "I suppose so," he said, finally. "It's not like you can mess anything up." He snatched his laptop away from Vexen before he could grab it. "Not on my computer, you numbskull! Go work on a different one."

Vexen let out a breath, but got to his feet and headed off to, presumably, locate a computer to start working on.

"So… the Rebellion's not over, then," Riku said, slowly. He grimaced slightly.

"No. Why did you think it was?" Alpha asked.

Riku shrugged. "I just…"

"Want to go home?" Alpha was being rather short for some reason.

Riku just shrugged again. He looked at Namine for help, but she was too engrossed in her drawing to do anything. He sighed. "Maybe it'd be nice… I'm getting kind of tired of this."

"We all are, Riku," Amaryllis said.

"Right…"

"Riku, listen, we can't call it quits just because they have the Program now," Alpha said. "Do you understand what that means for us? Wait, never mind, you don't." He made an annoyed sound and it looked like he might've rolled his eyes. "The Program doesn't affect you, and it doesn't much affect Namine, because she's not cataloged. But, for the rest of us, they can now Rewrite us on a whim. Deactivate us on a whim. We're completely vulnerable, now. We need the Program back."

"Alright, sheesh," Riku muttered. "I get it."

"Do they… even know that they have Main Computer functions?" Amaryllis asked, slowly, as it occurred to him.

"I'm sure 26 will find out soon enough," Alpha replied, curtly.

"Then we should try and get the external back, as soon as possible," Riku said. His fists clenched, and his grip on Namine tightened slightly. She didn't look up at him, but she rested her free hand on his knee to comfort him.

Shocked by the gesture, Riku _nearly_ forgot his frustration. He glanced down at Namine, a smile tugging on his lips. She otherwise hadn't moved, though her drawing had slowed. Whether it was in concentration or due to some other reason, Riku couldn't tell.

"Agreed," Amaryllis said. Riku looked up at him, trying to focus his attention again. "We should send a group out, oh, in a few days? Me and Riku can go, maybe."

"A few days seems like a while to wait, given how dire the situation is," 19 said.

"Well, I figured we should let things… settle down around the World that Never Was before we try anything," Amaryllis replied.

"Maybe we should figure out where the external is, first," Riku suggested. "Instead of sneaking through the Organization's stronghold blindly until we find it." He chuckled. "Is there a way to, I don't know, hack their security cameras and locate it?"

"Alpha?" Amaryllis asked, turning to him.

"…I could do that." Alpha nodded. "Yeah, I can do that."

"Then I say we go after the external once we know where it is," Riku said. "I'm not a big fan of the idea of just snea-" He paused. Namine's grip had tightened around his knee. He looked over at her. She'd gone rigid, and was trembling. "Namine…" he said, quietly.

"I'm- f_in_e."

"No you're not…" He sighed. It'd been so long since the last the last meltdown that he'd almost hoped that they'd stopped. Of course, it was a silly hope, but… He held her tighter.

"Riku _p_le_ase,_" she murmured.

Riku closed his eyes, let out a long breath, and then opened a dark corridor around them. They came out… sitting on his bed, in his room, he decided. Because his ceiling looked like the sky. And Namine had painted it for him.

"Here, let me take this." He gently pulled her sketchbook out of her hands and started to get up. Her grip on him tightened. He smiled, half-heartedly. "Just gonna set it on the desk and out of the way, alright? I'll be right back." He got up—it wasn't that hard to free himself from her grasp—and started for his desk.

"That's not true," she muttered.

He chuckled, a bit confused. "What do you mean? Of course I—"

_You're not a monster._

It was her voice. Reassuring him. Gentle. Comforting. But there was so much _pain_ behind it. Pain and- it was all a rush in his head, now. Darkness scarred walls. Blood. Namine screaming. _I'm not a monster right? _Of course not. _But what a wonderful monster you'd make._

Riku opened his eyes, finding himself on his hands and knees on the floor, panting. What was- was that- was that _his_ nightmares, or was that Namine's _meltdown?_

Was it _both?_

His hands curled into fists at the thought.

If Namine's meltdowns were as bad as his nightmares-

_Or worse._

He quickly picked up Namine's sketchbook and put it on his desk, making sure to grab the pencils he'd dropped, too, before taking Namine in his arms and holding her tight.

If she held him through his nightmares, then he'd hold her through them too.

"It's alright," he whispered. "You're safe. I'm here and you're safe. It's alright."

Except it wasn't alright.

Not when his insecurities and fears were rolling over him again.

_If you're weak, how are you supposed to protect Namine? That's right, you can't._

_ Can't seem to do anything right—_

He had to close his eyes and resist the urge to clutch his head. Flashes of fire, heat, battle. Axel smirking. A surge of darkness—_but it was useless. He was useless._ _He was worthless and weak and couldn't do anything._

_ He certainly couldn't protect Namine._

Not from this. He couldn't protect her from this.

_He couldn't protect her at all._

_ "Riku, please!"_

She sounded so scared.

Why was she scared?

_Please don't be scared. I swear, I'm here. I'll protect you._

_ You can't._

_ If you're weak, you can't do anything._

_ If I can't keep her safe what good am I!?_

His heart seized in his chest.

Namine was shaking with sobs.

He thought he could feel tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm here, shh, I'm here. I've got you."

_Can you make it stop?_

_ No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can't. I can't make it stop, or I would. I swear._

He'd do anything to make the meltdowns stop.

But wasn't that…?

He couldn't tell what was what anymore. Was that his nightmares? His memories? The meltdown? It all blurred together. He wasn't even sure if his thoughts were actually his or not. Was this really what a meltdown felt like? If it was, then he was only more eager to find a cure—some way to make them stop. _Any_ way.

"Riku," Namine choked.

"Shh, I'm here-"

"You need to- to let go of me."

He frowned.

"What?"

"_Please!_"

Riku didn't protest this time. He slowly pulled away from her, so that his hands were resting on her shoulders. But before he could even say anything to comfort her, she'd moved away from him entirely.

"Namine-"

"Don't- don't _argue,_ Riku!" she shouted.

He pulled his hands back, clutching them to his chest, trying not to feel hurt. He didn't notice that—now that he was nowhere near her—the thoughts had stopped rushing through his head. He was too busy thinking about—

"_Namine-"_

_ "Just don't, alright?"_

_ "But-"_

_ "Please!"_

He shuddered slightly. No. No it wasn't like that. Namine was just having a meltdown. That was reason enough for her acting like this. Really.

"Riku, I-" Namine began.

"No, don't talk." Riku took a deep breath, counting _1, 2, 3, 4, 5… _in his head. He couldn't help her if he was freaking out. "Here. Lie down." He gently reached out, pushing her down onto his bed. "And just… look at the sky. Isn't it beautiful?" He glanced over at her. Her eyes were closed, but that was fine.

"Riku…"

"No. Just. Lay there. Under this beautiful sky. Don't worry about anything, just…" He sighed. He needed to- "Can I…?" He said, slowly, reaching for her hand.

"Mm."

It wasn't a no, so he assumed she meant yes but couldn't make herself say it.

"You are safe, you know," he whispered, situating himself on the floor next to his bed. The chair was in the other room, and he wasn't sure if Namine'd be too happy about him sitting on the bed. "I am right here and nothing's-" He paused. He couldn't promise she wouldn't hurt. She was hurting right now. "Everything's gonna be alright," he said, instead.

"It hurts…"

"I know."

He knew that better than anything.

"Just, try and rest, alright? It'll stop any time now. I'm sure."

"Riku, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry about."

"I just-"

"Shhh. Don't say anything. Just listen." He smiled, squeezing her hand a little. "It'll be over soon. It will. I know it hurts and I'm sorry I can't do anything about that but it will stop. I promise. They have always stopped and this one will too. I know it hurts and I know you're drowning—in my own damn insecurities, too—and I feel awful for putting that on you and it really sucks. I know it does. They are the worst feeling ever."

He let out a long breath. He couldn't let himself get too hung up on that. "But even amidst all the pain, the darkness, and my self-doubt…" He smiled. There was happiness in this. "You painted me a sky, Namine."

She painted him a sky, and—

"Even in the midst of all that awful stuff there is kindness. There is light."

He wasn't sure if she was even listening, but he kept talking. Because maybe he could keep her mind off of how much it hurt. Maybe he could make it hurt less.

"You painted me a sky," he repeated. "You held me when I couldn't go on anymore- when I broke down. You held me and comforted me and I wish I could do that for you but- but I can only do so much and it's hard. I try, Namine. I try, but it-"

He paused.

No.

"No, I- I suppose I should be talking about something else." Yes. That would be better. "You should be thinking about happy things, right? Sunshine and rainbows and whatever it is that makes you smile. Drawing makes you smile, doesn't it?" He laughed slightly. He couldn't think of anything else, terribly enough. "What about- what about Joseph? He can get a smile out of anyone!"

Riku swallowed, not saying anything for a second. He looked over at Namine. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed to be in… _less_ pain than before. Whether she was awake or unconscious he couldn't be certain of, though. She was awfully calm if she was awake…

"What makes me smile?" he said, pretending she'd asked. He could do that. He could keep talking like this, regardless of whether or not she was actually listening, because he liked to think it helped.

"I dunno." He shrugged. "Joseph can, sometimes, like I said. He's good at making people smile. But… if there's anything that makes me smile… Namine, it's you. Being with you. Sitting next to you. Laughing together, talking together, even just sitting still while you draw something next to me. Namine, there's- there's nothing I love more."

He sighed. What else was there? He rubbed his face with his free hand. After a moment, he found himself looking up; looking up at the sky Namine painted for him.

"You painted me a sky…" he said, quietly. "And it looks amazing. And… y'know what? You're pretty amazing, too." He smiled again. "You're amazing and wonderful and try and make me smile when I'm feeling bad. You're there for me and you help me when I'm feeling my worst. You're one of the kindest people that's ever been in my life, and-"

He stopped, chuckling to himself. "Listen to me. I'm just… talking. Saying stupid things. Rambling. And…" He sighed and shook his head. "You can't even hear me, can you?"

She looked like she was asleep. Or unconscious. He wasn't sure if he could tell the difference—or which one was the proper term. Regardless, she certainly didn't look coherent enough to understand what he was saying, even if she could hear it. He slowly brushed her hair out of her face.

"It's alright," he whispered. "It'll stop, you know that. We'll make it through this. I promise."


	159. The Cause

idk if I should bother with the author's notes, or...? I mean I literally have nothing to say about this that wouldn't just go on the blog

* * *

><p>"Good morning," Riku said, as Namine rolled over onto her side and opened her eyes.<p>

"Is it morning?" she mumbled, closing her eyes again.

"Heck if I know."

Namine giggled at that.

"How you feeling?" Riku asked.

"Alright, I suppose." She squeezed his hand. "You know how these things are. How 'bout you? You feeling okay?"

"I guess, yeah." He looked at her for a moment. "You gonna get up?"

She let out a long breath. "I probably should, huh?" She laughed. "I don't want to, though. I think I'd like to stay here for a while… and… maybe doze off. I'm tired…"

"Then get some sleep," he told her.

"Mmm… no, I should probably get up. I've slept enough already…"

"There's a difference between sleep and nightmares, Namine."

She smiled. "You would know."

"Is that-" He frowned slightly. "Are you making fun of me? It's not funny."

"No, I know it's not funny," Namine said. She grimaced. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's alright—"

She opened her eyes, regarding him with an are-you-serious? look. "Riku, if you aren't going to accept my apology then what good does me apologizing even do?"

"Well, I wasn't mad at—"

She whacked him over the head, stopping him there. He flinched.

"You were upset! Besides, that wasn't something I should be joking about."

"You weren't really…" he began.

"Riku, just- _stop_."

Riku sighed. Namine sat up, looking around the room. She frowned after a moment.

"We're in-"

"My room," Riku finished. "Is that- is that a problem?"

Namine quickly shook her head.

"No! No, it's- it's not a…" She trailed off, as if looking for words. Finally, she said: "Ah, where did you put my sketchbook?"

"It's on the desk. Here." He got up and went over to the desk, gathering her sketchbook and pencils, and then brought them to her.

"Mmm… are these… all the pencils?"

"All of them on the desk, yeah."

Namine grimaced.

Riku frowned, not liking the grimace.

"You're missing some, aren't you?" he said. She nodded. "I might've dropped some…" He slowly got down on his hands and knees, scouring under the desk and under the bed for any that he might've dropped. He only came up with one; a purple one.

Namine counted her pencils again. "I'm still missing… five, I think. A blue, an orange—not that I really need that one—a grey, a pink, and then… oh, drat, my black's gone."

"Well, let's go look for them," Riku said, getting up and straightening himself out. There obviously weren't any more on the floor of his room.

"Yeah."

They stepped out of his room and started towards the Main Room. Of course, they could've just as easily opened a dark corridor there, but… Riku was honestly happy to have the privacy. Just him and Namine. Not that they hadn't spent the last few hours alone, but that didn't entirely count, seeing as she'd been unconscious.

"Sorry for dropping them," Riku said, after a moment.

Namine laughed. "Don't worry about it; they're a pain to keep track of. I can't tell you how many I've lost." She shook her head. "I almost need a new set!"

Riku paused, doing a quick calculation. Yeah, he could afford that.

"Alright," he said.

"'Alright' what?" Namine asked.

"We'll go get you a new set, yeah?" Riku grinned. He liked the idea. Namine needed a new set, and going and getting one would mean more time... alone, together.

Namine stared at him for a long moment. "Riku…" she said, slowly, as if about to argue.

"I've got munny! C'mon."

He reached out, starting to form a dark corridor to… Twilight Town, he supposed, would be a good place. He froze, though, hearing footsteps heading their way. He frowned, but closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm.

"Riku?" Namine asked. "What's- oh."

Riku turned to face the newcomer: Alpha. He slowly crossed his arms over his chest and did his best not to scowl.

"Yeah?"

"There's something I need to tell you," Alpha said, slowly. "I've been meaning to mention it for a while n—"

Riku stopped him. "Listen, if you need to talk to me, it's going to have to wait. I'm in the middle of—"

"It cannot wait."

Riku rolled his eyes.

"Is it life or death?"

"Well, no," Alpha admitted.

"Then it can wait! At least for thirty minutes while I go—"

"It's about Namine's meltdowns."

Riku froze. That changed things. Namine slowly shifted so she was standing beside him.

"What about them?" she asked.

"I- I believe I know what's causing them."

"You do?" Riku asked, a bit surprised. He uncrossed his arms.

"Really?" Namine sounded excited.

"Don't get your hopes up," Alpha said. "I don't think you'll like the conclusion I've come to." He was… pointedly not looking at them. Riku felt worry clench in his stomach at that, but… no, it didn't matter. They could stop the meltdowns!

"It doesn't matter," he said, firmly. "Anything. Anything to make them stop."

"Yeah, whatever it is, we can handle it!" Namine agreed.

Riku glanced down at her, a smile playing on his lips. "Together," he whispered.

She looked up at him and grinned.

"Together."

He stared at her for a moment, before grabbing her hand and holding it tight. Her smile only widened. _Together._ Yes, they could handle anything the world threw at them, so long as they were together.

He could handle anything as long as Namine was with him.

Alpha cleared his throat. Riku looked over at him, and Namine did so too.

"I believe-" Alpha began, but hesitated. "I… believe that… _you_ are causing the meltdowns, Riku."

Riku's heart about stopped. His lungs felt very tight. What- _no!_ It couldn't be possible. It couldn't. It- it…

"No," he choked. It was hard to speak, let alone breathe. "You're… _kidding._"

"I'm… afraid not," Alpha said.

Riku stumbled back. "Of course… I..." He rubbed his head. "That… would be my luck…" It felt… like his world had just shattered and was falling to pieces. _He_ was hurting _Namine?_ That… That meant…

"Now wait a minute!" Namine shouted. "How exactly is _he_ causing my meltdowns?"

"It's… complicated," Alpha said. "Basically, you're hypersensitive to his emotions, and his emotions—especially the more negative ones—trigger the memories that trigger the meltdowns."

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

Namine looked pretty angry. Furious, actually. Alpha seemed a bit worried, but determined regardless.

"His memories are unstable. His emotions are just as unstable. You're sensitive to both." Alpha shrugged, like that was all he needed to say.

"Yeah, but-" Namine groaned and raked a hand through her hair in her frustration. "Do you even have any proof?"

Alpha was silent for a moment. "No… I- I have my reasons to believe that his memories could cause the equivalent of a meltdown for just about anyone, but I can't prove that." He swallowed. "We no longer have his memories. We deleted them from the database. And even if we hadn't, we don't _have_ the database."

"See! There's no proof!"

"You are always with him when a meltdown happens," Alpha argued.

Namine laughed, angrily. It sounded odd coming from her mouth. "But how is _that_ proof?"

"Data transfers can't happen if you're not within a fifty foot radius of each other."

"But I had-" Namine paused, grimaced. She sighed. "Are you even sure that there _are_ data transfers happening?" she asked.

"I'm- I'm not sure," Alpha replied. "I can assume, but I can't be sure without the Program. Which we don't have. We need to make do with what we _do_ have, Namine. I figured we'd separate you two for a few days, see what happens, and we can make a fairly accurate conclusion based on that."

"You sure about that?" Namine raised her eyebrows and folded her arms across her chest.

"Do you want to stop your meltdowns or not, Namine?"

"Not if it means being separated from Riku."

Riku frowned. He wasn't sure how to—

No.

"C'mon, Namine," he said. "It- it can't hurt to try. Just… for a few days. See what happens."

She rounded on him. "_You're_ okay with this?"

Riku swallowed.

"I just… want them to stop…"

"Yeah, but-" Namine bit her lip. "If this is actually right—if you're actually causing them- I don't believe this! I don't. Not a single word." She shook her head. "You're not- I _swear_ you're not…" She turned to Alpha. "He is _not_ the cause. I know he isn't. Come back when you have a better theory for us to test out."

"This is all I have, Namine," Alpha said. "And I'm certain that it has enough reasoning behind it that it is worth testing. Now, if you wouldn't mind, can we go discuss this further in my office?"

_xXx_

"So, how'd he take it?" Vexen asked, as they entered the room.

Riku rolled his eyes, but said nothing. he was having trouble caring too much about arguing. Or putting any effort into arguing. Or into anything. He felt… empty. Was he really causing Namine's meltdowns? And, if he was…

"Well, actually," Alpha said. "It was Namine-"

"You're all in on this too?!" Namine demanded as she walked in (she'd been slightly behind Alpha and Riku).

Riku took a moment to see who all was even here. He hadn't bothered before. Besides him, Namine, and Alpha—and Vexen—the only other people here were 19 and Amaryllis.

"I'm only here for moral support!" 19 said.

"I'm just here to discuss what we're doing," Amaryllis said. "I'm not really involved in whatever Alpha's up to."

"Is there anything wrong with being involved?" Vexen asked. "_I'm_ only trying to help."

"_Help?_" Namine scoffed.

"Just let him be," Riku interrupted, before she could say any more. "He can help if he _really_ wants to, I suppose."

"I thought you were angry with him!"

Riku shrugged. "Whatever. He's going to help whether we want him to or not; I don't see the point in wasting energy trying to make him stop. Just leave him be." He was silent for a moment, then added, as an afterthought: "Or ignore him. That works too."

"And I'll ignore the fact you're ignoring me," Vexen said.

"See? It works."

Namine scowled, and let out a huffy breath.

"Weren't you- supposed to be hacking a computer or something?" she asked, eyes fixed on Vexen.

"I'm taking a break," Vexen said. "Hacking into someone else's computer remotely isn't easy work, Namine. I was starting to get a headache…"

"And _this_ is relaxing?" Namine was still scowling. She seemed really tense. Riku reached out to grab her hand, or something, but she folded her arms across her chest before he could. He grimaced.

"This is science. Of course it is!" Vexen seemed surprised that she had considered the possibility it _wasn't_ relaxing.

"This is science?" Amaryllis asked, sounding surprised himself.

"We are experimenting to discover the cause of a certain unexplained phenomenon—namely, Namine's meltdowns. I don't see how this _isn't_ science. I mean-" Vexen chuckled. "We aren't doing fancy experiments that involve explosions or other neat chemical reactions, no, but we are still doing experiments, and this is still science."

"Oh," Amaryllis said.

"He has a point," 19 muttered.

"He didn't have to go so in depth about it!"

"If we're all done conversing!" Alpha said, raising his voice. "Then can we go back to discussing exactly how we're going to test this theory?"

"Hypothesis," Vexen said.

"What?"

"This is a hypothesis, not a theory."

Alpha rolled his eyes. "Whatever…"

"No, not whatever," Vexen interrupted. "This is a hypothesis. Theories are all but proven to be fact. Hypotheses are proposed explanations that may or may not be correct and need to be tested. This needs to be tested. It is a hypothesis."

Riku threw a glance over at Vexen, questioning whether or not he _really _wanted Vexen involved with this. He was in a bad enough mood as it was, and if Vexen was going to continue going on like this—

_No, no… _he thought. _Better to just ignore him. I'm not in the mood to deal with him right now._

He wasn't much in the mood to deal with anything right now.

"Okay, fine!" Alpha said. "To test this _hypothesis—_"

"Can we sit down?" Riku asked.

Alpha sighed. "You'll have to confine yourselves to the floor, seeing as Vexen has the only chair."

"What? I'm getting too old to sit on the floor."

"Floor is fine," Riku said, sitting down. "Namine?"

She looked down at him, as if considering it, but finally sighed and started to sit down. He gently redirected her so she ended up sitting in his lap. She sat very still for a moment. So did he, suddenly thinking that he _maybe_ shouldn't have done that…

"Riku…" Namine said, slowly.

He swallowed.

"Sorry. Do you want to move?"

"…no," she whispered. "No." She gripped his arm tightly. "This is fine."

He held her close. "Cool," he said. For some reason it was hard to find his voice. He wanted to say more, but he couldn't get the words out.

_I just… wanted to hold you close like this._

_ I'm… scared, Namine._

_ There's this terrible feeling in my gut and it lessens slightly if I'm holding you._

_ Am I… really causing your meltdowns?_

"As I was _saying,_" Alpha said. "I think, to test this hypothesis, it'd be best if we sent Riku away for a while. A week, probably, would be best."

"A week's an awful long time," Riku protested.

"Any less time wouldn't yield decent results," Alpha replied. "Namine usually has a meltdown every three days or so. Usually. A month would be best, actually, but—"

"I'm not going away for a month!" Riku said.

"He shouldn't even go for a week!" Namine added.

"I already said, Namine. Any shorter amount of time would yield inconclusive results. How are we supposed to tell if his absence made any difference when he's only gone as long as the time it normally is between meltdowns, hmm?" Alpha raised his eyebrows.

Namine didn't have an answer for him.

"We'll try a week," Alpha said. "See what results we get, then try again. And maybe we'll try for a longer period of time."

"Why would we have to try again?" Riku asked.

"No one week is going to provide enough results," Alpha explained. "This isn't going to be a short process."

"So I guess I'll, uh, be retrieving the external on my own, then," Amaryllis said.

"It'd probably be easier to retrieve on a one person stealth mission, anyway," Riku said.

"True…"

"You sure it's a good idea to send him away for a week, though?" 19 asked. "Remember what happened last time he was gone? We were raided and barely scraped through! And he was only gone a _day_ that time!"

"Technically," Vexen said. "That was the time _before_ last."

"Still!"

"But we don't have anything that the Organization wants, anymore," Amaryllis said. "They have their Keyblade. They have the Program. They have the _database._ They won't come after us."

"We have Namine," 19 argued.

"They won't go after her," Alpha sighed.

"How do you know?"

"Because the whole point of them capturing her was to get the Program. Which they have."

"No," 19 said. "The point of capturing her was to get rid of Riku."

Alpha frowned. "Yes, to get him out of the way so they could get the Program."

"But what if they still want to get rid of Riku?"

"They have Roxas now, though," Amaryllis said. "He can just as easily—"

"But Roxas is only a few days old," 19 interrupted. "What are the chances he's strong enough to take Riku? Besides, the whole point of it was to make it personal—"

"Alright!" Alpha rubbed his temples. "Maybe they _will_ come after her."

"And the chances of them coming while I'm gone?" Riku asked.

"We can protect her," Alpha insisted.

Riku raised his eyebrows. "Can you? I want to figure out what's causing Namine's meltdowns, sure, but I'm not going anywhere if it means putting Namine in danger."

"She'll be _fine,_ Riku."

"I swear that I will do everything I can to keep her safe," Vexen said.

Riku stared at him for a moment. "Right… anyone I can trust?"

"Hey!"

19 raised his hand.

"Me too," Amaryllis said.

"And me, if you must know," Alpha added. "I'm sure everyone in this Castle would gladly protect her or die trying. And if you want to go around and have them all personally swear that to you, be my guest."

Riku shrugged. He was… satisfied, for the most part.

"Now," Alpha said. "Back to sending Riku away for a week-"

"I don't think it's a good idea," Namine said.

"We're not voting, Namine!"

"Why not?"

Alpha groaned. "Fine! You want to take a vote? I say we send Riku away to test this."

"And I," Vexen said.

Namine turned to him, frowning. "You're with him on this?"

"There's a possibility this hypothesis may prove correct," Vexen said. "It certainly seems _plausible._ I see no harm in testing it out."

"Riku?" Alpha asked.

"I'm for leaving," he muttered.

Namine turned to him, at least, as best as she could while sitting in his lap. "_Really?_"

He shrugged.

"Like Vexen said: no harm trying."

"But-"

"I don't want you hurting, Namine."

Namine turned back to Alpha, furious. "I'm not okay with this!"

"It's three against one, Namine," he replied.

"Three against two, actually," 19 corrected. "I vote Riku stays here. What? I should get to vote!"

"Amaryllis?" Namine asked.

"I'm not voting."

"It's settled then," Alpha said.

"No it's not!" Namine protested.

"Namine, please, you're the only one against this."

"Except me," 19 corrected, again. "I think Riku should stay."

"19, no offense, but-"

"Why are you against this, Namine?" Vexen asked, before Alpha could finish.

"Because I don't think he's causing my meltdowns," Namine said, firmly.

"And why is that? She's allowed to at least defend her thinking," Vexen said, to Alpha, before he could protest. "She must have a _reason_ for believing this, after all."

"I- well-" Namine swallowed. She suddenly seemed a bit nervous. Riku held her tighter, trying to reassure her, calm her down.

"Do you even have a reason?" Alpha asked.

"Let her talk!" Riku snapped.

"No," Namine said. "He's right." She'd gone from nervous to angry very quickly. "I don't have a reason." She pulled herself away from Riku and got to her feet.

"Namine-" Riku began, getting up, too.

"_No,_"she said, firmly. "He's right. He says it's your emotions triggering the memories inside me. And, really, that's perfectly possible. We both know that I tend to be more in tune with your emotions than even you are sometimes, and with them being the way they are, I wouldn't be surprised if they really _were_ triggering memories. And I can't even say you're not the cause because, well, you're _you_ and you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. But…" She shrugged, helplessly. "It's your _emotions_, Riku. You aren't going to stop _feeling_ just to protect me. And I'm not asking you to." She turned, then, starting for the door.

"Namine, hold on," Vexen called, causing her to pause. "Don't put yourself down so quickly. There must be _some_ reason why you don't think Riku's causing your meltdowns."

"Because- because I don't want him to be! Because I-" She shrugged again. "I don't know. That's all I have."

"You sure?" 19 asked.

"Yes? I don't know. I suppose there's-" she grimaced. "Like, this gut feeling. That- that Riku isn't the cause. That, if anything, he's…" She trailed off, shaking her head. "I don't know."

"That's it?" Alpha asked.

"_Yes!_" she replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to my room. You all can finish sorting this out, and then, if you wouldn't mind getting me before you leave, Riku, I'd like to say goodbye." She started for the door again.

"Namine, wait!" Riku caught her by the arm, before she could leave.

She took a deep breath. "Riku, please. I don't want to-" She turned to him, was silent for a moment, then pulled her arm away. "Not now." She left.

Riku watched her go, a bit stunned, his arm still outstretched, reaching for her. He slowly pulled his arm back, fingers curling into a fist. Now what? There was a pit in his stomach and a lump in his throat. Namine was mad at him.

But… he supposed…

He turned back to everyone else. Yeah. He should finish sorting this out, then… talk to Namine. He took a step back towards where he was sitting—

"No, go after her," Vexen said, waving him off.

Riku didn't need telling twice.


	160. Conflicting Promises

Guess what today is? August 6th-aka Namine's birthday! Well. Not in-story. (In-story we're still... in April.)

But, August 6th also means that we're three days away from the fic's three-year anniversary! Whoo-hoo! So, that's coming up on Friday, and I'll be posting that OFFICIAL timeline I've been talking about (along with something else). Yeah, I know it's not super special or anything, but I kind of went all out last year and don't have the energy to do that again. (Plus the anniversary snuck up on me. I completely forgot about it until two days ago and then I was like OOHHH CRAP)

Anyway, that's enough talking, the rest of the details are on the blog! (Also the tone of this author's note is completely contradictory to the tone of the chapter... whoooops...)

Oh wait also I uploaded something to ASAS (it involves Joseph and is ch50)

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><p>"Namine!" Riku called, running slightly to catch up to her.<p>

She paused, let out a long breath, then turned to him, looking rather annoyed.

"Riku, I thought I told you to get all that sorted-"

"I know," he interrupted. "I just… I…" He swallowed, not sure what to say. He just wanted to make this better. The idea of having a fight with Namine left a bad taste in his mouth. They'd never really… fought before. Not- not like this. He couldn't _remember_ them fighting like this, at least. _Fighting_, maybe, but it was usually over trivial things that he couldn't remember later.

"Are- are you mad?" he stuttered, unable to come up with anything better.

"Of course I am, Riku!" she said. Her voice was shaking with some sort of emotion he couldn't define. Was that really anger?

At him?

He swallowed another time. "Can- can I-" he tried, but he couldn't get the words out.

Namine rolled her eyes, looking frustrated, but understanding. "Riku, I just-" she said, but she had to stop, too. It was funny how fleeting words could be when you needed them the most. "I- I don't want you doing this!"

Her words came out as something between a shout and a plea. Riku stood there, staring at her, feeling very, very useless right now, and not sure what to do about it.

"Okay," he said. He was having a lot of trouble getting his throat to work right. "Wh- why not?"

"I don't want to be separated from you," Namine replied.

It was just that. That simple. No extra words, no emotions, nothing in the way that could muddle exactly what she meant. The meaning was crystal clear, and Riku wasn't sure how to respond right away.

"It's… only a week," he said, finally. That seemed like the best thing to say. "We- we won't be separated for long."

"Not now, no, but-" Her voice caught, then. "But if they're _right—_" And her voice broke and she shut her mouth. She was trembling now, though Riku couldn't gauge if it was fear or anger or what from where he was. He wanted to comfort her, hold her tight and stop the trembling, but that… that didn't _feel_ like a good idea right now.

He took a step closer to her anyway. Her eyes were fixed on him, watching him. He swallowed again—his throat was really tight right now—and opened his mouth to speak, though he couldn't think of any words to make this better and all other words seemed useless.

Namine spoke, then, saving him the trouble of having to come up with something. "I- I said I'd never leave you." And she looked down now, her confidence faltering, and now she was mumbling. "That I'd- stay with you… no matter what."

Riku frowned. He didn't… remember that. And he felt like he should; that this was definitely one of those things he should've remembered. But he didn't remember it.

"When- when did you say that?"

He felt awful for having to ask.

"When…" Namine swallowed. "Remember when you were accidently electrocuted? And then- then you told me about Larxene?"

He nodded.

"After that. While you were sleeping," Namine continued. "You kept having nightmares, and you were worried that I'd leave you and I- I promised that I'd never leave you. That I'd- I'd always be with you. By your side."

No, he definitely didn't remember that. He felt terrible about it, seeing as it meant so much to her, but…

"I- I don't… I don't remember that."

He had to be honest with her.

"I know," she said. Her voice was wavering, though her eyes had met his again. "That's why I'm saying it again. I promise I'll never leave you. That I'll always be by your side. No matter what happens."

He wasn't sure what to say. How should he respond? This was usually the other way around. He was the one making promises to her. But… now she'd made him one, and…

And she'd just said she'd spend forever with him.

"Namine…" he whispered.

Forever? With Namine? That actually didn't sound like a bad idea. But. No. He couldn't let her make this promise. He couldn't accept it. He couldn't spend forever with her, not if it was going to hurt her. And if he was causing her meltdowns…

"You can't-" he began.

"I know," she said. "I can't _really_ never leave you. It's not… realistic. But if I could… I'd…" She was looking away from him again. Off to the side. Her voice was quiet, too, not that he had to strain to hear her. "Spend my every second with you. If I could… I'd spend forever in your arms…" She chuckled then. "But that's even less realistic. But if I could-"

They were closer to each other than they had been before. Had she stepped closer to him, or was it the other way around? Riku wasn't sure. All he knew was that Namine looked maybe a little upset, and that he was close enough to wrap his arms around her… pull her close… just like she wanted…

But, no. No. He had to focus. If he really was causing her meltdowns—

"Namine," he began, hoping to catch her attention. And then he'd try and calm her down. He'd pull her close and hold her tight and calm her down that way, but telling her she couldn't promise to spend forever with him _while_ she was in his arms seemed counter-productive.

"Namine, listen," he said. "I can't let you-"

She wasn't listening.

"I want to spend forever with you," she said, firmly. The look in her eyes was fiercely determined. "I don't- I don't ever want to leave you."

This was a promise he couldn't let her make.

He took her face in his hands, hoping to catch her attention and stop her from talking for a moment and maybe even comfort her at the same time.

"I don't want to leave you, either," he told her, gently.

Her cheeks were wet, he realized, now that he was holding her face in his hands. She was crying. His stomach plummeted. He really hated it when she cried, and—

"Then- then tell them you won't do this," she choked. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and her voice cracked. "That you refuse. That I refused."

He squeezed his eyes shut, too.

"I can't…"

He wanted to tell her otherwise. He wanted to stop her tears. But he had to do this. There was a chance he was causing her meltdowns. He had to be positive. He had to be positive that it was safe before he agreed to spend forever with her.

"Riku, _please,_ if they're right—"

He touched his forehead to hers, taking a deep breath, though it was shaky. It was hard to hold himself together. And being this close to Namine, breathing her air, really wasn't helping.

"I can't stand seeing you suffer," he whispered. "I'm sorry. Anything to stop the meltdowns. Even- even if that means… even if it means spending forever away from you…"

Namine sobbed slightly.

"But, Riku- I promised—"

She promised. But he'd made a promise, too. A long time ago.

"I promised I wouldn't let anything hurt you, Namine."

There was a moment of silence. Namine was trembling again. Riku started to wipe her tears away, to comfort her, but she pulled away from him.

"Why are you so _stubborn!?_" she demanded, voice shaking as she reached up and wiped her own tears away.

It took Riku a few swallows before he got his voice working again.

"Because I-"

"Forget it!" she snapped, shaking her head and taking another few steps away from him. "Do whatever you want. Maybe I don't need to spend forever with you."

He stumbled back, as if her words had been a physical thing and he'd been struck. It _felt_ like he'd been—actually, being struck would've hurt less. His heart ached, and it stung, and, _great,_ was he _crying?_

He reached up to wipe his eyes. Yup. Those were tears.

Namine was walking away, now.

And he hurt and maybe he didn't want to try talking to her again, but-

"Wait, Namine!" he called.

He hoped his voice really didn't sound as pitiful as he thought it sounded.

"Don't bother, Riku," she replied, not even turning around. "Go get things taken care of. I'll be in my room."

Riku stood there, not sure what to do. It was like his world had come to a stop. He couldn't move. He couldn't really breathe. Not until Namine wasn't mad at him anymore.

"Fine!" he called. "I- I won't go."

She turned to him, slowly. She studied him for a minute, and then her face softened, and she took a few steps toward him again.

"No, Riku… you…" She sighed. "You really want to do this, don't you?"

"I- yeah." He couldn't deny that. No. "I mean, I'm not… crazy about being separated from you, but I really want to figure out how to make your meltdowns stop." He paused for a split second. Was this the right thing to say? Probably not. He wanted to make her not mad at him. But he couldn't keep the words from tumbling out of his mouth. "They _hurt_ you, Namine, and I really don't like seeing you hurt! I'd- if this'll help, then… there's no harm trying."

"You should go, then," she said.

He frowned. _What? _But she didn't want him to go. She wanted to spend forever with him, or, at least, he was pretty sure that's where they were still at. She wanted to spend forever with him but wouldn't happen if he really was causing her meltdowns and… She didn't want to find out, but he needed to, and—

"You sure?" he asked. "I know you're not happy with the idea—"

"I'm not," she said. "But." She paused for a second, and then smiled, though it looked a little forced. "But, y'know, it'll be good for you. Getting out of this Castle! I don't know how you've survived, cooped up here like this."

Was that- was that a joke? Were they joking again already?

It felt really odd, especially since they'd been arguing not ten seconds ago.

"Hey, I'm starting to like my room a lot more!" he said, trying to keep the upbeat mood she was apparently trying to set.

She smiled, and it was a genuine smile. He liked her smile.

"Thanks," she said. "But… you should go."

He grimaced, unsure of what to say. He was so confused. She was agreeing with him now, but she'd been upset before, and arguing, and they'd had different opinions but now she was siding with him and- _why?_ Why would she do that? Was she still mad at him? Was she—

"You don't want me to go, though…" he said, slowly.

"No!" she said, quickly.

Okay. That hadn't changed.

"But-" she continued. "But I don't have any good reasons for it... Not any that'll convince Alpha, anyway. Besides the gut feeling, all I can come up with is that I had meltdowns before I came here and started spending so much time with you."

"You did?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "I had meltdowns back on Destiny Islands when you were here and we weren't seeing each other all the time… It was- was only a few, though- I don't even want to bring it up!" She threw her hands up in the air, before letting them fall. "Because, I mean, it was only a few. And, me and you, we've… got this _connection._ And I know what's going on in your head so much of the time and- and if Alpha's right, and it really is your emotions triggering the memories inside of me, then the fact we've got this connection easily explains why I had a few meltdowns when we were nowhere near each other!"

Riku swallowed.

"I could still tell Alpha-"

"It's not worth it, okay?" Namine snapped, before he could say anything further. "I honestly think this is a load of bologna because- it's not like distance is going to matter much, seeing as we've got this connection, but- whatever!" She shrugged, helplessly. "You want to do this, so, go ahead."

"Namine, really, if you-"

"Riku!"

He stopped. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to be safe. From the looks of things, he was going to be lucky if he even got one of those.

Namine stared at him, looking very frustrated and very much like she had no idea what to say anymore, either. "Just. Go ahead, alright?" she said. "I don't- I don't see any point in arguing with you anymore. I don't want you to do this, no, but that's not going to change anything. So go ahead and do it."

And she walked off.

Riku didn't have the courage to stop her again.


	161. The Decision

happy late 3rd anniversary everyone! I had a lot of things going on over at the blog and if you want to lurk around my fic's tumblr, there was some stuff going on over there, too!

I posted the OFFICIAL Timeline over on the blog- I know that's not special but I also talked for about an hour and a half about it... expanded on plot points and things like that (plus there's another 45 minutes of brainstorming how the Replica Program fit into everything) and... yeah! Links over on the blog. (Unless you're not interested in listening to me talk for over an hour. That's cool if you're not. Just letting you know that I did.)

**Update Feb 2014: **if you're looking for me talking about the Timeline, you can find it on my youtube channel. Also there is a chapter in ASAS that goes with this one, and that would be ch52

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><p>Riku slowly walked back into Alpha's office. Vexen and Alpha were discussing something—or perhaps arguing—and Amaryllis looked rather tired. 19 was missing. Riku let out a breath and sunk to the ground, leaning against the wall.<p>

"Are you alright?" Vexen asked, quietly.

"She's mad at me…" Riku muttered. "Doesn't… want me to do this…"

"Don't take it personally," Alpha said, not sounding worried about it at all. "You're not the only one she's mad at."

Riku just rubbed his head. It didn't make much of a difference. She was mad at _him_. That's all that really mattered.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Vexen said. "Not if you don't want to. It's not like we can _force_ you to leave."

"Vexen!" Alpha snapped.

Riku looked up at Vexen, considering that. He was right. If he chose _not_ to go, no one would be able to keep him from staying here. But…

"No," he said. "No, I- I want to." He swallowed. "I… I can't go on knowing that I _might_ be causing her meltdowns. I need to be positive. That it's safe. And… if this is the only way to do it…" He shrugged, then sighed.

His chest felt tight. He had to do this. Even though Namine didn't want him to…

"Alright," Alpha said. "Then, if that's the case, we just need to figure out where you'll go for the week. And… when you're going."

Riku sighed again, rubbing his temples as he thought. "Uhm… I… should be able to stay at Hollow Bastion," he said, finally. "I don't- I don't think Aerith will mind."

"You sure?" Alpha asked.

Riku nodded.

"Pretty sure. She has two spare rooms, and it's not like I- I _have_ to eat the food she'll provide… and I'm usually a big help with their Heartless problems. So…"

"What Heartless problems?" Vexen asked, sounding rather worried.

"Just. Heartless. Your… typical Heartless?" Riku shrugged, not seeing why this mattered. "I don't know. There's been a different variety every time I've been there…"

"Right," Vexen said. He let out a sigh of relief.

"Well…" Alpha said. "That's really all we had left to discuss. Except when you're leaving. Sooner would probably be better."

"Ahh… maybe I'll just leave today," Riku muttered. "I'm not sure what I'd do until tomorrow. Except… oh." He paused. That's right. He and Namine were going to go get her a new set of pencils.

But… would she even want to go anywhere with him? After arguing like that, it… probably wasn't a good idea. No. But… but maybe he could go get her a set. Like an apology. For… for arguing or whatever she was upset about. Yeah.

The door flew open, and Riku flinched, as it'd almost hit him. It hit the wall next to him with a loud _crash._

"19," Alpha said, sounding a bit surprised but politely happy to see him. "You find anything?"

"No." 19's response was short, sharp. It sounded like he didn't want to be bothered, much less have this conversation. Riku looked up at him, curiously. 19 looked flustered and… a bit pale?

"You _sure?_" Amaryllis asked, calmly.

"Not anything _useful,_ anyway," 19 said. His fists were clenched tightly and… was he trembling?

"Any information can be useful," Vexen said.

19 glared. "I promise you, that this _isn't._" He cast a nervous glance at Riku, and then left the room.

Riku raised his eyebrows. "He's hiding something, isn't he?"

"Sounded like it," Vexen agreed.

"What was he looking for?" Riku asked.

"Information that could help us," Alpha replied, tersely. Something was bugging him, from the sounds of it. Something about 19.

"Do you want me to go ask him about that?" Amaryllis asked, after a moment.

"Maybe you'll have better luck than me," Vexen said.

Amaryllis nodded, and followed 19 out of the room.

Riku let out a long breath. "Alright, was that everything we had to figure out?"

Alpha nodded. "Yes. All that you need to worry about, anyway. Your only part in this is going away. We'll have technical stuff we need to take care of on our end, but you don't have to worry about that."

"When did you say you were leaving, though, Riku?" Vexen asked.

"I didn't." Riku said. He shrugged. "I'm not sure, to be honest. So long as I leave by tomorrow, though, it won't be a problem, right?"

"Just let me know when you're leaving," Alpha said.

"Sure thing." Riku started to get up, but something occurred to him. "Oh. I have a question, though." He swallowed. "If, uhm, the whole point of this is just to separate the two of us—for a bit, anyway—can't- Why can't we send Namine to Hallow Bastion?"

"Too many variables," Vexen replied. "She has to stay here and do the things she normally does."

"We still haven't ruled Castle Oblivion itself being the cause of her meltdowns," Alpha added.

Riku frowned. "How have you not—"

"We really haven't had _time_ to do anything concerning her meltdowns," Alpha explained. "We've gotten research done here and there, but between surviving the raids, dealing with Saix and the Organization…" he trailed off. "Well… now that they're not going to bother us anymore, we'll have more time to focus on this."

"If you're worried about her safety," Vexen said, "I thought we already established that there are more than enough people here to protect her."

"I wasn't worried about that!" Riku snapped. Though, honestly, he _was_ a bit worried about it.

"Riku, we already established that the likeliness of the Organization—or anyone—coming here is fairly slim," Alpha said. "She'll be perfectly safe."

Riku sighed. He'd only been… _slightly_ worried about—oh well. He straightened, started for the door. "I'll let you know when I'm leaving," he said, leaving the room and then forming a dark corridor around himself.

He wasn't heading to Hollow Bastion, of course. He had other things to do, first.

_xXx_

Ah, there she was! Riku'd had a bit of trouble locating Namine, but, seeing as she was standing in a random hallway talking to Joseph, and not in her room or the Main Room, it wasn't much of a surprise.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Joseph hissed. His voice was stern, and he sounded worried. Very worried. Riku frowned.

No. No, he didn't have time for that. He clutched the boxes of pencils he'd got Namine tighter.

"I can't think of another one that'd be any more-"

"A- ahem," Riku said, stopping Namine there.

She turned to him, and smiled. "Riku!" she exclaimed. She sounded happy to see him.

He smiled, too, feeling a lot better. Her smile was contagious, and it was really nice to see her happy again.

"Hey," he said. "I'm- I think I'm gonna go pretty soon. And… you wanted to say goodbye."

Namine nodded, her smile faltering a bit. "Right."

"Ahh…" Riku swallowed, feeling nervous for some reason. Better get this over with now before he ended up saying something stupid. "I- I got you these." He held out the pencils for her to see.

Namine's eyes widened and she grinned again. "Ohmygosh, Riku! You- you didn't have to."

He smiled, shrugged, trying to play it off like it was no big deal. Even though he liked seeing her smile like that. She took the pencils from him, grin widening.

"Well," he said. "You needed a new set. And… I figured- yeah." It was hard to find words, but… Namine probably knew what he meant. "I hope I got you what you needed," he added. "I know you said you lost your black- that's why I got you two sets. The second one's just got a black and a few other colors. But I figured you could use the extra black."

"Thank you," she said, clutching the pencils to her chest and smiling up at him. "I'm- I'm pretty sure this'll cover anything."

"Mm." Riku swallowed. Now… for the other thing he wanted to say. "Uhm. I'm- I'm sorry, by the way."

"What? Oh, for- right." Namine let out a breath that… might've been annoyed? It sounded annoyed, but she was still smiling. "It's okay."

"No it's not," Riku said. "I made you upset."

Now she rolled her eyes. She probably was annoyed with him.

"Riku, I was more upset with what was happening than I was with you. You're not-" she paused. Laughed slightly. "It's… it's fine, Riku. Really. I'm not mad at you anymore."

He grinned. That was a relief.

"That's- that's great!" he said. "Ah, umm… can I ask you something?"

"Sure!"

"Ah- about- about what you said before," he swallowed. Why was it always so hard to speak when he needed to say something important to Namine? "About… wanting to…"

"Spend forever with you?" she finished.

He nodded. At least she understood him when he could hardly get words out.

"Yeah. That. Did you- do you really mean that?"

"Of course." She met his eyes. "I wouldn't have promised if I didn't intend to keep that promise."

"R-right." Riku shifted slightly, still not sure how he felt about her making a promise to him. Especially since- "Uhm. You do know, that, if they're right—"

"I know. Don't worry about it, okay? I've got it all worked out."

"O-okay."

They stood there for a moment, the silence growing thick with tension. Namine cleared her throat.

"Well, are you leaving now?" she asked.

"I- maybe." Riku shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"Well… I've still got, like, half a sketchbook of pictures I haven't shown you, yet," she said, slowly. "Do you want me to go get it, and then we can sit and do that for a while?"

"Yeah…" Riku nodded his agreement. "Yeah, that sounds. Yeah."

Namine giggled. "Alright, then, I'll go get my sketchbook—"

"And I'll meet you in… uh," he swallowed. "Do you want to- to go sit in-" For some reason he couldn't get the words 'your room' to leave his mouth. He waved his hand vaguely, hoping she caught his meaning. "Or the Main Room?"

"The Main Room works," Namine said, and headed off.

"Well, that was… uh," someone else said, clearing their throat.

Riku turned, surprised to see Joseph still standing there.

"Were you standing there the whole time?" he asked, feeling maybe a bit embarrassed now…

"Yuuup," Joseph grinned, shrugged. "Mainly 'cause I wanted to ask you something, though."

"Yeah?"

"You're leaving?"

Riku nodded. "Just for a week," he said. "To, ah, see if I'm causing Namine's meltdowns."

Joseph laughed. "You believe that?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

Joseph considered him for a moment, then let out a breath. "Where you goin'?" he asked.

"Hollow Bastion."

"Ooh!" Joseph lit up immediately. "Say hi to everyone for me! I'd complain about wanting to go with, but I gotta stay here and protect Namine, don't I?"

Riku burst out laughing.

Joseph pouted in response, obviously offended. "What? I'll do a good job of it! Promise! Okay, well, I can only do so much," he admitted. "But I'm sure I could help her run away before any trouble—I'm very good at running away before there's trouble—and Toby can help! Plus, if you're really worried about, I'm sure there are a bunch of other people here who'd look after her for you."

Riku nodded. "I know. Alpha, 19, Amaryllis, and… Vexen all promised they would."

"And I'm sure almost everyone else would, too!" Joseph insisted.

"Yeah…" Riku made a face.

"C'mon," Joseph said, misreading his discomfort. "You have to admit, she's got at least five—sorry!—_six_ people looking after her. Heh, I nearly forgot Toby. My bad. But there's plenty of people to keep her safe!"

"I'm more worried about how _capable_ they are, than the amount," Riku muttered.

"Oh, come on, I'm not _that_ bad!"

"No, but Alpha and 19 can only do so much," Riku said. "And while Amaryllis has a good chance, he's only one person…"

"What about Vexen?"

Riku just laughed. Like Vexen could do anything.

Joseph frowned.

"You aren't giving him enough credit," he said, firmly. "He can protect her just as well as you can! Or, _almost_ as well as you can. I don't think anyone could match your level of protectiveness, but Vexen's pretty close."

"He's a coward!" Riku argued. "He'll run away before there's even any trouble."

"No he _won't._ I know he gets pretty cowardly sometimes, but I have full faith in him, Riku." Joseph grinned. "He's just like 29—at least when he's not a coward. Which he's gotten better at. And if 29 can keep me alive and well for five months, then Vexen can keep Namine safe for a week."

Riku rolled his eyes. Joseph grabbed him by the arm, to further emphasize his point.

"And don't let your… whatever it is towards him muddle your judgment," Joseph said. "I know you don't like him. But, as annoying as it is sometimes, he's just trying to look after you. That's all."

"Hmph." Like he could believe that. Vexen had never looked out for him before. Why was now any different?

"He'll keep Namine safe, Riku. He will." Joseph let go of Riku's arm, then grinned, like all he'd said five seconds ago didn't happen. "Anyway, you should get going! You have a date!"

"It's- it's not a-" Riku began.

"Sure," Joseph said. He didn't sound convinced. "Uhm. I'm gonna… uh…" He paused, eyes widening. "Crap," he said under his breath. "Has it been two months yet?"

Riku raised his eyebrows, curious.

"Since what?" he asked.

"Since, uh-" Joseph cleared his throat. "Since Sora showed up."

Riku did a few calculations in his head, but he could only come up with a vague answer. It was hard to get a feel for how long it'd been, especially since the time flow in Castle Oblivion was so weird. He grimaced.

"Maybe," he told Joseph. It seemed like it'd be _about_ two months by now. "Why?"

"Nothing," Joseph said, quickly. "I'mma go find Toby."

He headed off before Riku could inquire further.

"Hmm… a _date,_ huh?"


	162. The Goodbye

Oh whoops. Has it been a full week since the last update? My bad.

Anyway, there are a couple of things over in ASAS, so maybe you want to check those out, too!

**Update Feb 2014: **I'm most likely referring to ch50-52 of ASAS

* * *

><p>"I like that one!" Riku said, tapping the paper with his finger.<p>

Namine just laughed.

"Riku, you've said that about all of them."

He shrugged, just grinning. "Well… I like them all!"

She chuckled. "Yeah…"

Riku turned to look at her, worried. She sounded… distracted.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Oh?" She turned to him, then smiled. "Of course. Yes."

He frowned, still worried, but she'd turned away from him, clearly not wanting to talk about it. He swallowed. Was this about their fight? She wasn't… still mad at him, was she? She'd told him not to worry about it. That she wasn't mad at him.

Namine quickly swapped to the next picture. Riku swallowed, but smiled and went along with it. She didn't have to talk about it if she didn't want to. And she'd told him not to worry… so… he shouldn't worry.

"Oh, hey," he said. "Is that the picture of Roxas you mentioned?"

"No…" she said, slowly. "This is my old sketchbook…."

Riku raised his eyebrows. "That's certainly a picture of Roxas, though."

"Weird…"

"Can I see?" Toby plopped down on the couch next to Namine. He didn't sit _right_ next to her, though; there were still quite a few inches between them.

"Oh, uh, sure!" Namine turned her sketchbook so he could see the picture. He examined it, looking only partially thrilled about this.

"What are you doing here, Toby?" Riku asked, skeptical.

"Just… sitting…" he replied, swinging his legs idly. His eyes were focused toward the ground. Either he was up to something, or he was just _that_ shy.

"Oh… kay…" Riku said, not sure what to think.

"I found you Toby!" Joseph called, rushing over. "Haha, yeah, now you have to find me! By the way, that is the worst hiding place _ever._"

Toby just shrugged.

"Playing hide and seek?" Namine asked.

Joseph nodded, enthusiastically, and plopped down right in between Toby and Namine. Namine scooted closer to Riku to compensate. Riku shifted, but, seeing as he was sitting on the edge of the couch, he could only shift so far. As a result, Namine ended up nearly in his lap. He wasn't sure if he minded, or…

"Watchyou doing, huh?" Joseph asked, grinning.

"Going through my pictures…" Namine sounded a bit annoyed.

"Yeah." Riku nodded, agreeing with her out of habit, for the most part. "Can't you leave us alone?"

Joseph sighed, dramatically. "Oh, _alright._" He got to his feet, tapped Toby on the shoulder—"You're turn to count! I'm gonna go hide!"—and ran off.

Toby sighed, but covered his eyes and started counting.

"One… two…"

Riku groaned and rubbed his head. His head... hurt. And though he often found comfort in numbers and counting, Toby counting was really putting him on edge for some reason. Plus, he and Namine were really close, and his heart was pounding, even though it was stupid and illogical and _stupid. _Why should sitting this close to Namine now make him feel any different than any other time?

"Nine… ten… eleven-" Toby continued.

"Aren't you supposed to stop at ten?" Riku snapped.

Toby shrugged.

"Oh, he's probably hidden enough!" Riku said, exasperated.

Toby made a face, but headed off anyway.

"Were they really bugging you that much?" Namine asked.

Riku shrugged, now. "I don't know," he said. He was on edge for some reason, though now that it was just him and Namine, he was starting to relax. She hadn't moved, regardless of the fact that Joseph and Toby were now gone.

But why was his heart still racing?

"I just…" He swallowed. "I wanted to be… alone…"

She laughed. "We're in the middle of the Main Room—"

"I know," he said. "But it's different when no one's bugging you. It still feels… private."

She laughed again, sounding faintly amused but very much like she was trying to cover it up. "Did you want to sit in my room?" she asked. "Or yours?"

Riku shook his head. "No, no, this is fine. This is…" He wrapped an arm around her. "I don't mind sitting here," he whispered.

Again, Namine laughed, though this time it was in surprise. She sounded happy. And maybe a bit breathless. Riku just smiled, feeding on her excitement.

He started to move his hand down to her waist, and hold her close, but hesitated. There were so many confusing things about his relationship with Namine, especially lately. And he'd never _really_ held her quite so… intimately before. At least, not while she was conscious. When she was out during a meltdown was another story. He wasn't sure how she'd respond. Was it even a good idea?

He… _wanted_ to. Which he didn't entirely understand, because he hadn't felt like this before. But then he remembered that'd he'd have to leave soon. Leave her. That only made him want to do it more. They could only spend so much more time together. Then he'd have to go. It was only for a week, but, a week was a long time…

After a second more of hesitation, he did it anyway, pulling her close, holding her tight. She melted into his grasp and let out a small sigh. She pulled her legs up, cuddling into him. Her sketchbook lay to the side, forgotten, as she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

She felt so small, so tiny, so _vulnerable. _He held her even tighter, trying to steady her, burying his face in her hair. Her fingers tightened around his shirt. His arms tightened around her body.

He didn't want to leave her. Not for a week. Definitely not for forever. In fact, if he could, he'd be perfectly content spending forever right here.

He could feel tears leaking from his eyes.

_No,_ he thought, trying to steel himself. _I can't. I can't spend forever with her, not if I'm causing her meltdowns. I don't care how much I love being with her. I don't care how much I hate spending time away from her. I don't care how much I love holding her like this… It doesn't matter._

_If I am causing her meltdowns, then we can't. I can't._

_I need to leave her. So she'll be safe._

_So she won't hurt._

His tears fell harder, now, and he held Namine closer, pressing her head into his chest, fingers curled in her hair.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispered.

"It'll only be a week," she reminded him, gently. Her voice was shaking, though.

"I'm still gonna miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you, too." Her voice was small. Weak. Fragile. She was trembling, and she held him tighter, like she never planned on letting go. He couldn't help but do the same.

They sat like that for a while, clinging to each other. Neither of them said anything more. Sitting here was enough.

"I'll protect her!"

Riku glanced up, and found… 6 standing there, nodding enthusiastically. Riku blinked a few times and suppressed a groan. Namine shifted so she could see what was going on, too. Given how they were sitting, he couldn't see her face, though.

"Ahm, 6…" Riku said, starting to get up. He didn't get far, because Namine was still practically sitting on him. He glanced down at her, and she flushed red before shifting so he could get up. He could feel his cheeks get hot, but tried to ignore it. "That's- uh," he laughed, nervously, looking over at Namine again. She was laughing, too, but doing her best to hide it. She was covering her mouth with her hand, turning away, her hair falling to cover her face.

The smile on Riku's face widened, and his cheeks grew hotter. He just… she was… What was he thinking? He shook his head and turned his attention back to 6, who was still nodding enthusiastically.

"That's not… not really necessary," Riku said.

"I can do it though!" 6 protested. He continued to nod, but he looked a bit offended. Maybe.

Riku grimaced. "Well, yeah, but-"

"I can!"

"That's very kind of you," Namine said, politely. She was on her feet now, positioning herself next to Riku. "Thank you, 6."

Riku shot her a look. "Are you _crazy?_" he hissed

"Of course not!" She said, smiling at him. "The more people protecting me, the better, right? That way, I'll be absolutely safe." She nodded, giving another encouraging smile in 6's direction.

Riku rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. What-" he swallowed. "What she said."

6 grinned, clapped his hands together, and then skipped off.

Riku sighed. "Well, I now have zero confidence that you'll be safe," he said.

"Oh, come on," Namine nudged him, playfully. "At worst, he'll just be in the way. But, being him, he'll be in _everyone's_ way, including whoever might be here to harm me, so, yeah." She nodded, satisfied. "I'll be fine."

"Don't worry, I'll keep her safe, too!" Joseph exclaimed, popping out from behind the couch.

"Yup. Zero confidence."

"Riku," Namine nudged him again, harder this time.

"Aw, don't be too hard on him," Joseph told her, smiling. "He just wants a reason to stay here, that's all."

Namine looked at him, eyebrows raised. "Is that true, Riku?" she asked.

"No," he said.

_Yes,_ he thought.

"Weren't you playing hide and seek?" he asked Joseph, before the conversation could continue any farther.

"Toby found me already." Joseph crossed his arms and pouted. "He was _supposed_ to count to twenty!"

"Sorry," Toby said, apologetically. He'd been hiding behind the couch with Joseph, apparently.

"Nah, it's alright," Joseph told him, breaking out into a grin. "I'm just kidding." He turned to Riku. "Shouldn't you be leaving?"

"Oh, right." Riku made a face, stealing a glance in Namine's direction. "Yeah. Probably."

He really, _really_ didn't want to leave her.

"Don't worry about her!" Joseph said, misreading Riku's glance over at Namine. "I'll protect her, I promise! I won't even let anybody touch her!"

Toby got a mischievous look. "Oh, so, I can't do this?" He laughed, reaching out to poke Namine in the ribs. Before he even got close, Joseph tackled him to the ground. Riku and Namine watched as they started wrestling. Riku with exasperation and Namine with amusement.

"Well," Riku said. He slowly took Namine by the shoulders, drawing her attention back to him. He held her tight. He wanted her safe. More than anything. That's why he was leaving—the only reason. "Promise me that, if anything happens, if you're scared or hurt or someone comes after you- just come get me. Please."

"Of course," Namine said, giggling slightly.

Riku grinned. He felt better. Sort of.

He let go of her, and then formed a dark corridor.

"Oh." Wait… there was something else he needed to do first. "Joseph! Let Toby up and go tell Alpha I'm leaving, will you? He wanted to know."

"Sure thing!" Joseph saluted, got off Toby, and ran to go find Alpha.

Toby pushed himself to his feet, rubbing his shoulder. "Ow…" he moaned.

"See, I'm sure Joseph can protect me just fine," Namine said. She ruffled Toby's hair. "You okay?"

He nodded.

Riku rolled his eyes.

"See you in a week," he said.

Namine smiled at him.

"Yeah," she said.

He smiled back, then stepped through the dark corridor.


	163. The Separation

here. have a chapter. And I have nothing to say about it whoo

Though _actually_ maybe I should tell you that I'm writing about ten chapters ahead of where I'm posting. If you're curious. (Though if you follow me on tumblr it's a little obvious.) But... yeah...  
>The good news is that I will (most likely) never go two months without updating again! With this much material in between posting and writing, I have a good two months at least to catch up if I fall behind. So. Whoo!<p>

**Update Feb 2014: **ASASch53 has part of this scene from Aerith's POV if you're interested

* * *

><p>Riku stepped out of the dark corridor and into Hollow Bastion. Of course, he emerged right in the middle of Aerith's living room. "Whoops!" He laughed, nervously. "I- I totally meant to use the door. I <em>swear<em>."

Yuffie caught her tennis ball, rolled her eyes. "Uhhuuuh, suure."

"I did!"

"What brings you here, Riku?" Aerith asked, patiently. She was sitting on the couch opposite Yuffie.

"Well," Riku shifted slightly. "I was actually wondering if I could ask you a favor…"

"Yes?"

"Uhm," he cleared his throat. "Can I- would- would it be possible if I could… stay here for a week?"

Yuffie dropped her tennis ball, too busy staring at him to catch it properly. Aerith blinked a few times.

"Uh… yes," she said, finally. She nodded for emphasis. "Yes, you can. Just you? Not Namine?"

"No- no, just me."

"May I ask why?"

"Well… uh-" Riku's breath was tight in his throat. He really didn't want to discuss Namine. The less he thought about her, the less he could miss her. And the less he could worry if everything actually was alright after that fight they had, even though Namine didn't seem mad anymore. "Can I sit down?"

"Of course," Aerith said, chuckling slightly.

Riku sat down on the same couch as Yuffie, though at the other end.

"You and Namine didn't get in a fight, did you?" Yuffie asked, throwing a meaningful glance in his direction.

Riku gulped. Just what he didn't want to think about. But that wasn't why he was here. "Well, no, that's not- not exactly-"

"It is about Namine," Aerith said. She sounded like she knew. Like she was positive she was right. The confidence in her voice, and the understanding in her eyes—

Riku squeezed his eyes shut for a second. No. He didn't have to tell the truth. So what if it was about Namine? They didn't need to know that.

He shook his head, swallowed. "No, it's not- that's not it," he told them. "It's not- I just had to get out of Castle Oblivion for a while." That wasn't exactly a lie. "It's, uhm… a lot of stress." And neither was that.

Good.

"Why didn't Namine come, then?" Yuffie asked. "I thought you two did everything together."

Riku shrugged, trying to play it like it was nothing. "She wanted to stay behind," he explained. _Lied_ really. "Which she can if she want. It's not like I make her decisions for her."

"Well, I'm not sure if it'll be any less stressful here," Aerith laughed. "The Heartless levels have gone down lately, but they still show up enough. That, and we're working on restoring the town again, and that's… well…" She trailed off.

"That's alright," Riku said. "I don't mind fighting Heartless. But…" He frowned. "You're trying to restore the town?"

"We've been trying since we got here, months ago," Yuffie said. "And we were doing good until the Heartless started ruining all our work."

"It's hard enough repairin' the damage the Heartless do, let alone actually rebuildin' the town while we're at it!" Cid said, making his way down the stairs. He paused at the bottom, leaning against the railing. "Now that the Heartless have stopped showing up so often, we're trying to get back to work. It's not going so well, though."

"He and Leon can't agree on anything," Yuffie whispered, leaning over so only Riku'd hear.

"Are you sure you want me staying here, then?" Riku asked.

"Of course!" Aerith assured him.

"You can probably help," Cid said. "And if not, so long as you stay out of the way, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Also, it is my house, and I'm allowed to say whether or not he gets to stay, regardless of all that," Aerith said. She smiled. "You can stay if you want to, Riku."

"That'd be great," Riku said. "Thanks. Ahh… where's Leon?"

"In the kitchen!" Leon called, gruffly.

"Cookin'," Cid explained. "He just likes it to be nice and quiet and not talk to anyone while he's doing it, so he can't be distracted and mess anything up. Not that he _would_ mess anything up." He raised his voice at the end, likely so Leon could hear him.

Leon didn't respond.

"Sometimes we take turns so Aerith doesn't have to cook all the time," Yuffie added. "Cid'll cook most of the time, but Leon does occasionally, and I- well, I can't cook. Not well, anyway. I can make grilled cheese sandwiches!"

"And you make wonderful grilled cheese sandwiches," Aerith insisted.

Yuffie beamed.

Cid was about to say something, but another dark corridor opened, stopping him. Riku turned, confused, wondering who could be wanting to visit Aerith's house and could use a dark corridor to get there. It was probably someone he knew. It was—

It was Alpha.

Riku couldn't help but groan. Alpha was one of the last people he wanted to see right now.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"You were supposed to tell me you were leaving," Alpha replied, folding his arms across his chest.

"I did!"

"No, you sent Joseph to tell me that you'd _left_. Those are two completely different things."

"Excuse me," Aerith said. "Uhm… who are you?"

Alpha turned to her, and his eyes lit up, and he immediately uncrossed his arms. "Ah, forgive me and my lack of manners." He bowed slightly. "I am Alpha. Zexion Replica. First one made, but, that should be given."

Cid raised his eyebrows. "And why are you here?"

Aerith waved her hand to shush him. "Hang on, Cid. Introductions first. I don't see why we should be rude, either." She smiled, pleasantly. "I'm Aerith. That's Yuffie."

"Hi," Yuffie waved, seeming only slightly interested.

"And that's Cid."

Cid raised his hand in a partial wave. "Hello."

"And Leon's in the kitchen, and doesn't want to be disturbed," Aerith finished. "Now, like Cid asked, why are you here?"

"I'm here to make sure you know exactly what Riku's here for," Alpha said.

Riku suppressed his groan as quick as he could, but Alpha still caught it.

"So you haven't told them?" he asked. He sounded amused—almost like he had expected this to happen. That would explain why he was here though, wouldn't it?

Riku sighed, shrugged. "I don't see why it matters, so long as I stay here a week," he said.

"You _lied_ to us?" Yuffie asked. She sounded pretty offended, though Riku wasn't sure if he should trust that she actually was, and that she wasn't just pretending to be offended.

"It matters," Alpha insisted. "I need someone to make sure you don't come back before you're supposed to. And that especially includes no sneaking back. Even if no one notices, it'd still ruin everything."

"I wouldn't do that," Riku muttered. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, eyes darting away from Alpha and to the floor.

Alpha chuckled. "Obviously you don't know what you're like when Namine's having a meltdown."

"Why is it so important he stays here?" Aerith asked.

"Because we are testing to see if his presence—or lack thereof—has any effect on Namine's meltdowns," Alpha explained. "If he were to return, it'd ruin the experiment."

"What, you think he's causing 'em or something?" Cid asked.

"I believe it may be possible, and that there's no harm testing," Alpha said.

"But what ground do you stand on? To say he's causing 'em?" Cid scratched his chin, eyes narrowing in thought as he studied Alpha. "You have teh have a reason."

"I believe Namine is hypersensitive to Riku's emotions, and that his emotions, especially the negative ones, are triggering the memories in her data which, in turn, trigger her meltdowns."

Cid's brow furrowed in concentration.

"So you're sayin Riku's emotions are causing her meltdowns," he said, finally.

"Yes. That is what I said."

"You could've said it in a way that was easier to understand," Yuffie protested.

Alpha raised his eyebrows at her, but didn't say anything.

"An' how exactly does separating Riku an' Namine test this?" Cid asked.

"Well, we won't be able to get conclusive results in just one week; we'll have to try this same experiment later, possibly multiple times," Alpha said. "But the idea is that, if she doesn't have a meltdown when he's gone, then he's… possibly the cause. Of course, it'd be easier to tell if we separated them for a month, but—"

"That's not going to happen," Aerith laughed. "To be honest, I'm surprised you got them to agree on a week."

"Exactly."

"It wasn't that hard," Riku mumbled.

"You'd think there'd be more efficient ways to test this, though," Cid said.

"This is the only way we can test it with the resources we have, however," Alpha said.

"You really think he's right?" Yuffie asked, turning to Riku.

Riku shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. He could be." He swallowed. "I'm not taking any chances. I don't want her hurting. Her safety means more to me than anything."

Aerith turned to him, brow creased with concern. "But if this theory is proven correct…" she began. She trailed off, almost like she was afraid to say it.

"I know," Riku said. It didn't bother him. Really.

At least, he'd tell himself that.

"So, I trust you understand why Riku needs to stay here, then?" Alpha said.

Cid nodded. "Yeah."

"Think so!" Yuffie chimed in.

Aerith said nothing.

"And you'll keep him here?" Alpha asked.

"We can certainly try!" Cid replied, laughing slightly.

"I won't go back," Riku sighed. "I already said I wouldn't…"

"Thank you," Alpha said. "I'll be on my way, then." He opened another dark corridor, and was gone.

"Are you _really_ sure about this?" Aerith demanded, rounding on Riku immediately once Alpha was gone. She sounded worried, if not appalled. "From the way it sounded, if he's right and you really _are_ causing her meltdowns, then the only way to stop them—"

"Is to never see her again," Riku finished. "I know."

"You'd really do that?" Cid asked. There was a note of surprise in his voice.

"Riku, you don't have to," Aerith said, quickly, before Riku could answer Cid. "Really. I know we promised we wouldn't let you go back, but- but if you don't want to do this- if you want to go back. I'm not stopping you."

Riku shrugged. "Like I said, her safety means more to me than anything. I'd do anything to keep her from hurting."

"Even never seeing her again?" Aerith asked.

"Yes."

Aerith started to say more, but she paused, bit her lip, and then got up and headed to the kitchen, probably to help Leon or something. Riku didn't mind. He didn't much care, either. He was just happy he didn't have to talk about this anymore. It made him uncomfortable.

But he'd do anything to keep Namine from hurting.

Anything.

"I take it Riku's staying for dinner, then," Leon said, from the kitchen. He wasn't speaking very loud, but Riku heard him without a problem.

"Yeah, seems like it," Aerith replied.

Leon was silent.

Aerith lowered her voice. "We don't have enough pork for him, do we?"

"Not unless someone wants to share…"

"It's alright!" Riku called. "I don't need to eat."

Aerith poked her head out of the kitchen, frowning slightly. "No, Riku—" she began.

"I'm not even hungry," Riku said. "Don't worry about it."

Aerith stared at him for a moment. "You sure?" she asked. "I can always fix you something else."

"No, it's fine. It's not like I even need to—"

A dark corridor opened, stopping him there. Riku sighed and rubbed his head. Great, what did Alpha forget? Or was it Joseph?

"Namine?" Cid asked.

Wait, it was Namine?

Riku turned around, and, sure enough, it was her.

"I'm confused," Yuffie said.

"I'll only be here for a sec," Namine said. "I need to tell Riku something."

He raised his eyebrows. "What do you need to—"

She came over and kissed him on the cheek, stopping him there. He blinked a few times, stunned. More than stunned. She'd never- he'd- _he'd_ never…

To be honest, Riku had no clue what to do with his emotions right now. His heart had skipped a beat or three, and the ability to form coherent thought seemed to have left him.

"It'll be alright, okay?" Namine told him, gently. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

He didn't respond at first, still caught up in the pounding of his heart and the feel of her lips against his cheek. He'd never been—

She'd never done that before. Why now, all of a sudden? It was so… random. Not that he minded. It was… nice. It felt… nice.

It felt… wait. She'd said something to him, hadn't she?

"Uhhh… yeah," he said, nodding. Hopefully that was a valid response. "Okay." He looked over at her. She was smiling, cheeks tinged red, and she giggled slightly. He flushed. He was probably grinning like an idiot. "Um-" he began, but didn't have the chance.

Namine straightened, cleared her throat, and turned in… ah, Cid's direction? Riku wasn't sure and didn't feel like checking at the moment.

"Take care of him," Namine said, sternly.

Riku flushed even redder. He really didn't need… He could take care of himself. Really. But he didn't have the heart to tell Namine to stop. Though he was a little embarrassed, he was actually touched. Namine was worried about him. Not that she should be… but… it was sweet of her.

"We will," Cid said.

Namine nodded. "You better."

Riku glanced up at her. Her brow was furrowed, eyes narrowed slightly, definitely trying to look threatening. He suppressed a chuckle. It was only working so well. Her _tone_ however, was spot on. Even he was scared. Slightly.

"Is that all?" he asked, trying not to smile.

She nodded, flashing a grin at him. "Besides, of course, _please_ don't spend the entire week agonizing over whether or not I'm okay."

"I- I won't."

She beamed. "Good. Because I'll be _fine_," she told him. She squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Oh. And uh…" She bent over, so she was close to his face. His heart leapt, but he tried to contain himself. It's not like anything was going to happen. He was being stupid. "Kill the yellow ones first," she whispered, squeezing his shoulder again, before pulling away.

He frowned. What did _that_ mean? "Kill the… _what?_" he turned around to inquire her farther, but she was already halfway through the dark corridor.

"See ya!" she called, and was gone.


	164. The Save

here have a boring author's note yay (should I even bother with these anymore?)

* * *

><p>He glanced around. It was dark. Not many colors besides black and grey and muted shades of orange. The sky was black—it was nighttime, probably—the stars few, but the moon large and full. He was in… a town. He'd been here before. A few times.<p>

Halloween Town.

A town that perpetually celebrated his second favorite holiday.

Now… what was he doing here?

Maleficent had sent him here. Alone, surprisingly—not that he could _run_ anywhere, seeing as he had no form of transportation. But what'd she wanted him to do?

He couldn't remember.

He started walking, figuring there was nothing better to do. Maybe he'd run into some Heartless... Though, Maleficent wasn't keen on him killing Heartless, last he'd checked. She needed them. To build an army or something.

_I'm not going to just leave them alone, though, _Sora thought.

_ Especially when they don't leave me alone!_

As if on cue, a single Heartless—a Search Ghost, right?—appeared and headed straight for him. He quickly summoned his Keyblade, but didn't need to. Something lit the Heartless on fire, and then with one swipe of their blade, they'd killed it.

Sora's eyes widened, and he straightened out of his fighting stance to look at his savior. It was a boy about his age, with blond hair that stuck up in odd angles like his did, and sharp blue eyes. There was a small smirk on his face, and he hefted his blade to rest on his shoulder, almost casually. He had a Keyblade.

"Uh, thanks," Sora said, a bit shocked and a little bit suspicious. The boy wore a black cloak, like that… Organization 13 did, but… he didn't _appear_ to be evil or intent on sending a large amount of Heartless at Sora. He'd just killed a Heartless and saved Sora, after all.

The boy nodded. "Sure thing. What are you doing here?"

Sora shrugged. "My name's Sora," he said, after a moment.

The boy laughed. "That wasn't what I asked, but okay. I'm Roxas." His eyes darted to Sora's Keyblade. "That's a Keyblade, right?"

Sora nodded, eyes narrowing. Who was this boy? And why was he interested in his Keyblade?

Then again, Sora'd been pretty interested in Mickey's Keyblade when he'd met him. So, it was understandable.

"You've got one too, right?" he asked.

Roxas just nodded, looking a little preoccupied.

He rushed forward, his Keyblade bared, shoving Sora back and behind him. Sora stumbled slightly, not prepared for that, but it turned out to be a good thing. Another Search Ghost—was that a Search Ghost?—had nearly grabbed him. Had Roxas not shoved him out of the way, it _would've_ grabbed him.

"So, Sora," Roxas called, grinning, as another Search Ghost popped up. "How good are you at fighting Heartless?"

**_xXx_**

Riku swished his drink around in his glass, absentmindedly, trying not to focus on anything else. Aerith had insisted on getting him _something_ seeing as everyone else was eating dinner, and he'd have nothing (he had to refuse the food twice before she even let _that_ go). He ended getting soda, again, mainly because Aerith had insisted. Cid hadn't seemed too happy about it, but, whatever. Riku had the soda now and there was no changing it.

"Why is Riku staying here, again?" Leon asked. "I don't think I caught all that earlier."

"They think he's causin' Namine's meltdowns," Cid replied. Riku let him. The less he had to worry about it the better. "So they're sendin' him here to see if it makes any difference."

"And, ah, why do they think he's causing her meltdowns?" Leon asked.

"Something about her being hypersensitive to his emotions and that causes it," Cid said.

"It makes sense," Riku murmured dully, eyes fixed on his glass, not on anyone else.

"It does?" Aerith asked. She sounded very curious.

"Sure." Riku just shrugged, trying to keep his attention on his drink and remain nonchalant about the entire thing. If he pretended like he didn't care, then he couldn't actually care, right? "I mean, given how my emotions are sometimes…" he trailed off, shrugged again, and raised his glass to his mouth. He closed his eyes and took a sip, frowning slightly. He wasn't actually fond of soda. It was awfully… bubbly and didn't taste very good.

"You can't be ashamed of your emotions," Aerith said. She laughed a little. "That's silly."

Riku lowered the glass, staring into it, watching the bubbles rise to the surface of the drink before popping. "Yeah, but what if I am hurting her? What if I-" he couldn't say it. He didn't want to think about it. He swished his glass around again, because the swirling motion of the drink was more mesmerizing than the bubbles.

"It's not like you can stop your own emotions, though," Leon said, quietly.

Riku didn't respond.

"I don't see why you care so much," Yuffie muttered. "It's not like you love her or anything."

Riku tensed, setting the glass back down hard enough that it _clinked_ against the table. His fingers tightened around the glass, and he took a deep breath. What did _love_ have anything to do with this? It _didn't_.

"I just want her safe. That's all."

That's all he'd ever wanted. All he'd ever done—protect _her_. This wasn't any different.

"And, what? You'd abandon your emotions jus' for that?" Cid asked. There was a smile in his voice, but Riku didn't look to see if the smile had carried to his face.

"I'd do anything to protect her," he said, simply.

"But you'd end up blocking out happiness and other good emotions," Aerith said. She was concerned. Typical. "I know it hurts, and I know you think it might be hurting her, but that's never a good reason to rid yourself of happiness."

"Namine wouldn't stand for it," Leon added.

Riku didn't say anything again. He didn't even understand how they'd gotten here in the conversation. Had he ever brought up _abandoning _his emotions? Of course, he'd do it, if that's what it took, but he didn't remember _mentioning_ that…

He rubbed his head. It was starting to ache. A lot.

"Hey wait a minute!" Yuffie said. "I just realized, if we're supposed to be keeping Riku here, does that mean one of us has to be on Riku-watch all the time?"

"Very funny," Riku snapped. He kept his eyes fixed on the table, though. Best not look at anyone. Really. "But it's not like I'm going anywhere. I thought I made that fairly clear."

There was silence for a moment.

"You okay, Riku?" Aerith asked.

"Fine."

"Head hurt?"

He shrugged.

"Thought so." Aerith got up from the table and headed to the kitchen.

"Maybe it's the caffeine," Cid suggested. "I doubt he has soda very often."

"He hardly drank any of it," Yuffie said.

"So?"

"Here." Riku looked up now, because Aerith had just set a glass of water down on the table in front of him. She smiled. "Drinking water might help."

"It's not that bad…" Riku protested.

"Drink." Aerith's voice was stern, and the look in her eyes even more so.

Riku sighed and picked up the glass of water.

"Alright, alright…" he muttered, taking a drink.

Aerith started to the kitchen, taking Riku's soda with her, but Cid held out his hand, clearly wanting her to give it to him instead. Aerith looked at him for a moment, then rolled her eyes.

"You don't need it!"

"It's a waste!"

"Fine. Let me at least get you a new glass."

Aerith headed to the kitchen. Riku just took another drink of water. It had seemed pretty clear that he was supposed to drink _all_ of it.

"Feel any better?" Aerith asked, when she came back to the kitchen and handed Cid the glass of soda.

Riku shrugged, setting the empty water glass down. "Not really," he said. "Was it supposed to go away that quickly?"

"Not necessarily," Aerith assured him. "How bad is it? Where does it hurt?"

"It's not that bad…" Riku murmured.

Aerith would have none of it. "It looks pretty bad, though, with the way you're squinting like that." She frowned. "Is the light bothering you? Does it kind of hurt right behind your eyes?"

Riku shook his head. "No, it's…" He tapped his forehead, where the pain felt the worst.

"Dull ache? Sharp throbbing?"

"Dull."

"Hmm…" Aerith considered him, carefully.

"Can I help?" Yuffie asked, nearly jumping out of her seat with her eagerness.

"Uh… yeah. Can you go get a panacea?"

Yuffie nodded and started off.

"It's alright, really," Riku said, trying not to groan. "I'm okay. It's not that bad. I'm- I'm fine."

Yuffie pouted. Apparently she wanted to help.

Aerith sighed. "Well… maybe you should go lay down," she suggested.

"I'm not tired."

"It'll help the headache."

"It doesn't hurt that bad," Riku insisted

"You don't even have to sleep, just lay down," Aerith said. "Close your eyes and rest. Relax. You said you were trying to avoid stress, right?"

"Uhm-" Riku grimaced. That'd been more of a lie than anything else.

"It'd help."

"But what am I supposed to do?" Riku asked, feeling annoyed now. The headache was getting worse, pounding in his skull, and it was getting frustrating. "Lay there and be left to my thoughts?"

"Or you can try and sleep," Aerith said, calmly. "I know you're not tired, but… Riku…" She moved closer to him, leaning down next to him, lowering her voice. "I know it's kind of silly, but… It's harder to miss someone while you're sleeping…"

He chuckled, dryly. "Yeah, but I'm not particularly fond of the dreams I tend to have."

Aerith sighed and moved away. "Then I don't know what to tell you. I'd offer you a book to read, but that could potentially make your headache worse. I mean, if you really want one, go ahead and pick one of the bookshelf—by all means you can take a book off the shelf and read it whenever if you want to—but I don't think it'd be beneficial right now."

Riku sighed and got to his feet. His head hurt too much to try and argue with her anymore. "I guess I'll just go lay down," he said, though he liked that idea even less. "Does it matter which room?"

"Either one of the guest rooms works," Aerith replied.

"Right."

He pounded up the stairs.

**_xXx_**

Sora really had no clue what he was doing, Roxas couldn't help but notice. He didn't do anything but whack the Hover Ghosts they were fighting with his Keyblade. Effective, yes, but magic was much more so, especially on _these_ Heartless. With magic, you could kill them before they could attack and seriously harm you.

Roxas knew Hover Ghosts were particularly vulnerable to Fire. Or, Fire did a decent amount of damage, anyway.

He sent a blast of Fire at the nearest Hover Ghost, smiling slightly when it Ignited. It'd be dead soon. He rushed forward, leaping into the air and attacking with his Keyblade to speed up the process. He only got a hit before he noticed the other Hover Ghost pick Sora up by the collar.

Thinking quickly, Roxas sent a blast of Fire at it before it could drain Sora of too much of his energy. Or, Roxas _tried_ to. No fire came. How'd he run out of casts so quickly?

He cast Thundaga instead. A large bolt of lightning crashed down on the Hover Ghost, causing it to drop Sora. Sora fell flat on his face and didn't get up right away. Roxas didn't think too much about it: he'd undoubtedly caught Sora in the Thundaga blast. Besides, Sora was groaning in pain, so he couldn't be dead.

Roxas leapt into the air and brought his Keyblade down on the Hover Ghost's head. It died instantly. Sora must've worn it down, somehow. (That, or the Thundaga'd been super effective.)

"You alright?" Roxas asked, turning to Sora, now. He'd feel bad if he'd seriously hurt him. At least, he'd feel a little bad.

Sora had pushed himself onto his knees,

"Ow!" he said, glaring.

Roxas shrugged, suppressing a smile. "I wasn't going to make it in time to get it off you," he explained. "Magic was my only choice. Besides, if I hadn't saved you, you'd be _dead._" He pulled a potion out of his pocket, anyway, and forced it into Sora's hands. It seemed like the right thing to do, especially after probably hitting Sora with the Thundaga. Plus, Hover Ghosts drained a lot of energy out of you, regardless of how fast you got them off your back.

"Wasn't there another Heartless?" Sora asked, staring at the potion.

The distinct sound of a Heartless dying answered his question, followed by the sound of munny hitting the ground. The other Hover Ghost had been killed from the continuous damage that being Ignited dealt. Roxas went over and picked up the scattered munny, along with the Lightning Crystal it'd dropped. When he turned back to Sora, he was still staring at the potion, and hadn't moved to get up.

"Do you not know what a potion is?" Roxas asked, laughing.

"Wha—" Sora looked up at him. "Oh. Yeah. I just… you sure I can have it?"

Roxas rolled his eyes now. "I wouldn't have handed it to you if I wasn't sure."

"Right."

Roxas shook his head in disbelief. While Sora was downing the potion, he did a quick check of his inventory to see what magic casts he had left, and figure out how he'd managed to run out of Fire so frequently.

Ah!

He had an excess of Blizzard magic still equipped. He'd been to Agrabah last, and must've forgotten to swap out his spells before setting of on this mission.

Anyway…

"So, what are you doing here?" Roxas asked. He'd asked Sora that earlier, but Sora hadn't given him a straight answer.

"Just…" Sora shrugged. "Traveling. That's all. You?"

"Killing Heartless," Roxas replied. Technically, he was here for other reasons—investigating why there weren't nearly as many Heartless as there should be here, namely. But, he couldn't tell Sora that. The Organization was supposed to be a secret. Or, something of one. Regardless, telling Sora that he was here for anything more than killing Heartless was something he could get in trouble for.

Besides, it's not like saying he was here to kill Heartless was a _lie._ That was his job, after all. And, many people traveled the Worlds to kill Heartless, so no one would think twice of it. He was grateful for this job, actually, and glad he didn't have to do something like recon. Coming up with a good reason as for why you were snooping if you were seen was a pain. And, anyway, he wasn't much good at anything other than killing Heartless.

"You mind if I come with you?" Sora asked, suddenly. "Like, just around town? I'd, uh- _appreciate_ not being by myself for a while."

"Sure," Roxas said. It couldn't hurt. Sora had a Keyblade, anyway, so he could help. As long as Sora didn't ask too many questions, he'd be fine.

That in mind, Roxas resolved not to ask Sora any prying questions, either. If he did, then Sora'd have an excuse to.

"Anyway, let's head this way," Roxas said, nodding towards the town. Standing here in the outskirts wouldn't get any work done. He started off, and Sora followed after him.


	165. The Treasure

So sorry I haven't uploaded in ages! I was staying with my sister (magik) for a few weeks, and things got a little hectic! And once they'd calmed down, I was on a writing binge and didn't want to take a break and upload a chapter, since I'd lose my train of thought y'know? And then I went to a con...

yeah...

Also things get a little timey-whimey here, because the Riku sequence takes a week, while the Roxas and Sora sequence takes a matter of a few hours. Just so you don't get confused.

* * *

><p>It took him a bit to find a book, seeing as quite a few of the books were either medicalhealer handbooks of some sort or instruction manuals for canons. And as for actual novels… well… none of them sounded very interesting. Riku slowly made his way over to the other bookshelf—the short one by the window.

He squatted down in front of it so he could get a better look at the titles, but something caught his eye before he could even look. On top of the bookshelf were various knickknacks and a few framed photographs. It was one of the photographs that caught his eye. It was a photo of Aerith and a boy with black hair that stood up in spikes, a little like Sora's did. Neither of them looked much older than Riku.

The boy was grinning a large goofy grin, and had his arm around Aerith, leaning on her like he was about to fall over (and knock her down in the process). Aerith was half-glancing at him, half-glancing at the camera. She looked a little annoyed, but Riku'd never seen her smile quite this large before. She seemed happy. She probably was.

Riku slowly smiled. Namine'd never have let him get away with something like that. Nor did he think he'd try…

_I wonder who he is, though,_ Riku thought. _That boy…_

He was probably a friend. Or a brother? But… they never talked about him. At least Riku didn't remember _hearing_ them say anything about him. Then again, he seemed to miss half of what they said around here if it didn't involve him. Maybe it wasn't a surprise he hadn't heard about this boy before. Maybe he'd ask about him. Of course, when someone was up that he _could_ ask, anyway.

Riku directed his attention to the books again, and, after a bit of consideration, pulled out a book that had something to do with dragons and princesses. Sora used to go on and on about stories like this, and Riku figured he might as well see what the fuss was about.

The book actually turned out to be not that bad, and Riku finished it within a few hours. He was about two chapters into the sequel when Aerith came downstairs.

"Oh." She seemed a bit startled to see him, but got over it fairly quickly. "Good morning, Riku."

"Morning," he replied, turning his attention back to the book.

"Whatcha reading?" Aerith asked, coming over.

He paused just long enough to show her the cover. She smiled.

"That's a good one! You read the first one, right?"

He nodded.

"Do you want breakfast?"

Riku shook his head.

"No thank you," he said, remembering his manners at the last second.

"Alright. I figured I should offer." Aerith started towards the kitchen, but then paused. "Can I ask why you're pacing?"

Riku froze, flushing. "Uh… don't like sitting still…" he mumbled. In all honesty, it'd been easier to get into the book once he was up and moving.

Aerith laughed. "Well, I'm not sure if you'll be able to keep the pacing up once Yuffie's awake, but, if you want to read all day, no one's stopping you. Leon and Cid plan to head out and work on fixing up the town, but, of course, you don't have to go. I'll probably stay here. Whether or not Yuffie goes depends on what kind of mood Cid's in…"

Riku nodded, trying to be polite but very much wanting to get back to the book.

Aerith laughed again. "I'm sorry, I'm bugging you, huh? I'll stop." She started for the kitchen again, but, pause halfway there like she did last time. "One more question?"

Riku grunted a yes in response.

"Is your head feeling better?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

There was still a very dull throb in the back of his head, though, but it wasn't as bad as it'd been a few hours ago.

"Alright," Aerith still seemed worried, but she finally headed to the kitchen.

Riku let out a sigh of relief and went back to reading.

**_xXx_**

Sora frowned at Roxas suddenly changed direction. "I thought we were—" he began.

"We still are," Roxas assured him. "There's a Treasure Chest."

"A…" Sora paused, staring at him. He couldn't be serious. "Wait, _what?_"

Roxas paused, too, turning around to look at Sora, slowly frowning in confusion himself. "You don't know what a treasure chest is?" he asked, seeming appalled. Or maybe he was laughing… Sora couldn't quite tell.

"No, I know what a treasure chest is," Sora said. "I just- there are actually treasure chests just _lying around_ in Worlds? Just _waiting_ for someone to come by and open them?"

Roxas nodded. "Yeah." He chuckled. "Here, I'll show you. Over here!"

Sora followed Roxas over to the corner of the plaza. Sure enough, there was a little chest wedged up next to the wall of the house.

"So… there's actually stuff in there?" Sora asked.

Roxas laughed. "You really are new to this, huh!" He pulled out his Keyblade and tapped the lid of the treasure chest with it. The treasure chest popped open immediately. Roxas reached down into it and pulled out its contents.

"See? This one had a hi-potion." He held it up for Sora to see. "A lot of treasure chests contain items, but sometimes there are other things in them. Why don't you check the one up there?" he pointed up at the treasure chest sitting on a ledge above them.

"How do I reach that?" Sora asked, staring.

Roxas gaped at him. "You can't jump that high?"

Sora shook his head no, wondering how _anyone_ could jump that high.

Roxas stared at him a moment more, but then sighed. "Look, just jump and try and grab onto the ledge. It looks low enough for you to do that."

Sora looked at the ledge, then back at Roxas, then back at the ledge. Well… what could it hurt? He took a running start, and jumped up towards the ledge. He missed. And he missed the next few times he tried. Roxas didn't say anything, but he was clearly trying to suppress laughter. Sora scowled, but tried one more time to grab the ledge. He got it this time.

"Good! Now hoist yourself up!"

Sora gritted his teeth, but did as he was told. It was hard to hold on, though—the stone was rough, which provided a good grip, but it also hurt. Not to mention his arms gave way when he was halfway up, and he dropped back into a hanging position, bashing his nose against the wall as he did so.

"Aaagh," Sora groaned, squeezing his eyes shut with the pain. He pulled himself up again anyway, this time pushing off the wall with his foot for an extra boost. He was able to make it onto the ledge this time.

_This treasure chest better be worth the effort,_ Sora thought. He summoned his Keyblade, like Roxas had, and tapped the treasure chest on the lid. The chest popped open.

Inside was a small glowing ball of… light? Sora reached down and picked it up. "What's this?" he called down to Roxas, turning the ball over in his hands.

"That's an ability!" Roxas replied.

"And… what do I do with it?" Sora asked.

"You learn it!" Roxas laughed.

Feeling like an idiot, Sora asked:

"Ah… How do I do that?"

"Look, you should be able to see something in your mind's eye, when you hold it," Roxas explained. "Like, an image of you performing the ability. Yeah?"

Sora closed his eyes, focusing his attention. The ball of light felt warm in his hands, its energy seeping into him. "I see…" he said, slowly. "I'm rushing at an enemy, and then attacking it."

"What do you mean 'rushing'?"

Sora shrugged. "I don't know how to describe it!"

"That's alright," Rosas said. "Describing it's useless anyway. You really need to put it into action. Hop on down here, and you can try it out!"

Getting down, at least, was much easier than getting up had been. Sora jumped from the ledge and landed on his feet without a problem—he'd been jumping from high things since childhood. Those high things had just… been easier to climb.

"Alright," Roxas rubbed his hands together, excitedly. "Let's see that new ability!"

Sora gripped his Keyblade in both hands, prepared to attack, but paused. "I'm not sure how to do it if I'm not attacking something…"

Roxas shrugged like it was no big deal. "Then attack me!"

Sora must've looked horrified at the thought, because Roxas burst out laughing.

"I'm sure you won't hurt me!" he said. "And, even if you do, it's nothing a hi-potion can't fix. C'mon!" He braced himself, but didn't summon his Keyblade.

Sora swallowed, nervous and very much not wanting to hurt Roxas, but threw himself into the attack, anyway. He rushed at Roxas, his feet barely touching the ground, and attacked; landing one, two, three hits before Roxas pulled out his Keyblade and blocked him.

"I recognize that attack!" Roxas said, throwing up a Cure for himself. "Sliding Dash."

"Really?" Sora asked, straightening.

"Yup." Roxas grinned. "Congrats on learning your first new ability!"

Sora chuckled, scratching his head, a bit embarrassed.

"Let's try it out on some Heartless," Roxas said, nodding over at a group of Heartless on the other side of the area. He readied his Keyblade and charged toward them. Sora was quick to follow.

**_xXx_**

Riku'd spent most of the morning reading, hardly even noticing when Cid and Leon left to fix up something in the town. Yuffie stayed behind, but Riku just avoided her so she couldn't comment on the fact he needed to pace to focus on his book.

He'd started the third book in the series about noon, but put it down after a chapter because his head was starting to hurt again. It was hard to read when the pain kept distracting him every other sentence.

He sat down at the dining room table and closed the book in frustration. This was ridiculous.

"You okay?" Aerith asked, poking her head out of the kitchen so she could look at him.

He nodded, trying not to rub his head, since she'd start fussing over his headache again if she noticed that it was back. Aerith seemed to notice something was up, because she paused in drying the plate she was holding, eyes narrowing with concern.

"You sure?"

"Just… worried about Namine," he said. It wasn't totally a lie. He was worried about her, of course, though he hadn't thought much about it with all the reading he'd been doing. It was hard to worry about anything when one's thoughts were caught up with fictional characters.

"I'm sure she's alright," Aerith assured him. "They'd send someone over here if anything serious had happened, right?"

Riku nodded. He'd been _told_ that they'd do that, anyway.

"Well, we haven't heard from anyone, so she's probably fine."

"Right."

There was silence for a moment, as Aerith finished drying the plate and then set it down.

"You miss her?" she asked, quietly.

Riku chuckled, though it was a bit hollow. "It hasn't even been a day," he said. It'd only been nineteen hours and—he checked the clock—thirty-two minutes.

"I don't think that makes a difference."

Riku shrugged. Maybe it didn't. He hadn't really been thinking much about missing Namine—he'd been thinking about that as little as he'd been worrying about her. Not that he hadn't been thinking about her. He ended up thinking about her nearly every other page; something in the book would remind him of her, and he'd pause and think about her for a bit…

Not that he… _missed_ her. A lot. Maybe he did a little.

"Well, the week will be over soon," Riku said, quietly.

There was some comfort in that thought, at least.


	166. Oathkeeper

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Another chapter already? Well, I'm still writing like ten ish chapters ahead of when I'm posting, and it can't hurt to try and catch up a little, right? Also I'm going to have a friend over, meaning I'll most likely forget to upload and then the chapter will be late.

So you get it early!

Also, friendly reminder that my fic has a tumblr! "rarmastersftpverse . tumblr . com". Original, no? Ha. Anyway, it's supposed to be an askblog of sorts, but I get maybe one ask a month... Don't feel shy sending anything in! You can send it anonymously, too! We're also having a sort of special event right now, meaning I dragged the HB gang over to answer some questions. Yeah.  
><strong>update!<strong> the url's fixed. fanfic recognized it as a url and ate it. Siiiigh. If that happens again, there is a link on my profile!

* * *

><p>"Hey, Sora," Roxas said.<p>

"Yeah?" Sora replied, slowly. He seemed maybe a little worried.

"This is gonna sound stupid," Roxas continued. "But, ah, you want to swap Keyblades for a few minutes?"

Sora raised his eyebrows. "Why?" he asked.

Roxas shrugged. "Why not?" He grinned slightly. To be honest, he was really just curious. Sora was the first—was he the first?—other Keyblade wielder he'd met. And there was something about Sora's Keyblade…

"Alright," Sora said after a moment, handing his Keyblade out to Roxas.

Roxas handed his Keyblade to Sora, and took Sora's Keyblade. As soon as his fingers closed around it, a jolt shot through him. He gasped. There was a rush of wind, a flash of light—

_"Let's go to the beach!"_

_ "Sure thing. Next time I get a day off."_

_ "We could run away together."_

_ "Why don't we just go?"_

_ "Promise, Roxas."_

_ "Promise."_

_ Promise._

Roxas turned away slightly, shielding his eyes. Sora's Keyblade had taken on a different—_brighter_—form in his hand. It was almost painful to look at, it was so filled with light. But, looking at it… looking at it caused something to stir in the back of his mind. Something…

"A promise…" he muttered. "Xi—"

The word wouldn't leave his lips.

"Whoa!" Sora exclaimed, staring. "How did you—"

"I don't know," Roxas interrupted, staring at the Keyblade, but not really seeing it. His mind was elsewhere. "It just… happened." _Xi—_

"You okay?" Sora asked. "You look a little dazed."

"I…" Roxas laughed, slightly. "There's this… word. On the tip of my tongue. Xi- Shi… ah…. I can't finish it. It's gone. Whatever it was is gone."

It was gone, and all it left behind was a sound on his tongue. A word begging to be finished. A promise waiting to be fulfilled.

Suddenly the thought of holding this Keyblade made him ache. Part of him wanted to give it back to Sora, because it was almost unbearable. He'd broken a promise and he shouldn't be holding it.

But another part of him wanted to hold on, because maybe that would help him remember whatever it was.

"Finish what?" Sora asked. "All I hear you saying is 'she'."

"Yeah, well," Roxas sighed. "I don't know. It feels like… a name." A name? No. "A word. I don't know."

"What sort of name?" Sora asked. "A _girl's_ name?"

Roxas thought he heard a bit of teasing in Sora's tone, but it didn't change anything. He just shook his head. "I really don't know. It's gone. All that's left is 'shi'—that sound."

Sora shrugged, unable to help.

"It's probably nothing," Roxas said. "Something from a dream or something." He laughed, then. "You ever have a dream, where you wake up and have this nasty feeling you've forgotten something really important about it, but when you finally remember it, it turns out to be something ridiculous like a dragon named Stanley? That's probably all this is…" He looked down at Sora's Keyblade again. "Why'd it change like this? I certainly didn't do anything."

Sora shrugged. "It's… ah, done it before. I think. Pretty sure it has. Last time. Someone else. Held it." His words were slow, like he was having trouble remembering something. Roxas knew that feeling.

"Mine changed, too," Roxas said, nodding at his. "It didn't used to look like that."

"Really?" Sora asked. He lifted Roxas's Keyblade up, looking it over. "So it wasn't all… dark and kind of evil looking?"

"It's not evil!" Roxas laughed. "But, no, I don't think it was always like that. I mean. I'm sure it wasn't. I just don't remember what it used to look like."

"Huh." Sora grimaced. "We gonna trade back?" he asked. "Or do you want to fight Heartless like this? I mean, I guess I don't mind, but, y'know, there's something about having your own Keyblade…"

Roxas nodded. "Alright." He tossed Sora's Keyblade to his left hand, and took his Keyblade back from Sora. Another jolt went through him the moment his fingers touched the hilt.

_"Oi, leave some for me, won't you!"_

_ "Hey, bet you can't kill twenty Heartless before I can!"_

_ "You can wield a Keyblade, too?"_

_ "…you have a Keyblade, why can't you—"_

_ "Because I'm a—"_

_ "Please, I can't let you—"_

_ "…and Roxas, I'm sorry."_

_ "Xi…"_

Sora pulled his hand away, quickly. "What was that?" he asked, his eyes wide.

Roxas shook his head. It was throbbing a little.

"I dunno."

"Well, can I have my Keyblade back?"

"One sec…" Roxas swung the Keyblades around, slicing through the air. It was… familiar, somehow. Natural. He grinned. "Y'know, it'd be really cool to be able to wield two Keyblades all the time!"

Sora laughed. "Sure. I'd still like mine back, though."

"Can I try this out on some Heartless first?" Roxas asked. "We just have to go find some, and then I'll give it back."

"And you'll leave me defenseless?"

"Well…" Roxas frowned. "You can use magic, right?"

"I'm not very good at it," Sora muttered.

"I'm sure you'll be fine! You just have to survive for a few minutes!" Roxas smiled again. "Besides, it'll be great practice, y'know? For you. With your magic."

Sora sighed, but didn't argue.

**_xXx_**

Riku read for the rest of the day, and well into the night, despite his headache growing persistently worse. He didn't mention it, though, knowing Aerith would tell him to stop reading. He ended up dozing off about halfway through the final book of the series, exhausted for some reason, and his mind too filled with dragons and wizards to keep him up with worries.

Of course, that turned out to not quite being a good thing. He ended up having strange dreams about… being a prince—or was he a king?—and… running around trying to do something. Not that he could remember what. And Namine was there. Or was it Namine? He… thought it was her.

_"What's it matter? It's not like you-"_

But there were wizards chasing them, and the dragons weren't being helpful, and then Joseph was there, but he was a wizard, and—

Wait.

No.

What was—

_Namine…_

_Namine… where are you… _

_"…_going_?"_

_A jolt went through him and he was on the ground. But not the grass he'd been running through. Cold. Hard. White floor._

_He shivered, but he pushed himself up. Or, tried to. He didn't get far. Something was holding him down._

_A… boot?_

_"Aww, what did he say?"_

No.

_"I _can't_ have heard him right!"_

You-

"_You didn't…_"

What?

_"Namine!"_

_ He couldn't see her from this angle. But he knew that she shook her head sadly, her blue eyes stained with sorrow, every one of her muscles slumped in defeat. There was no escaping their fate. For either of them._

But that doesn't mean we have to face it alone.

_"Namine, how could you—"_

_ "I'm sorry- I just-"_

But.

"_But I thought—_"

"_Oh you _thought?" _Larxene's laugh pierced through him, much like the lightning she wielded. "How precious! And what did you think, hmm?"_

_ He couldn't see her. Not with his face forced into the floor like this. But he knew she was bending down next to him. Lips inches from his ear._

_ "Did you really, honestly, think that you _loved_ her?"_

No.

"_No I-_"

A searing pain shot through his head until everything blurred. When the pain finally subsided enough that he could open his eyes, he was surprised to see that he was face down on the wooden floor of Aerith's house. He quickly pushed himself up, and bashed his head on the coffee table in doing so.

Ah, so that'd be why his head hurt so much in the first place. He must've hit it on the way down…

Riku got up, slower this time so he wouldn't hit his head on anything again. He picked up his book from where it'd fallen. He opened it, trying to find his spot, when he heard something outside. Without second thought, he abandoned the book and rushed out the door.

It didn't take him long to notice the Heartless that were popping up all over the area. Most of them were just wandering idly about, looking for prey, but a few of the larger ones were going after the buildings.

He made his way over to them, killing everything else in his path while he was at it. Most Heartless died in one swipe of his blade. Some took a bit longer, but he didn't have to devote much attention to very many of them. Only the really big ones. It was a refreshing feeling.

_I forgot how good it felt to be able to kill things like this, _Riku thought, smirking.

If there was anything he missed, it was this. Staying in Castle Oblivion and only having to worry about fighting something once a week was nice, but killing Heartless was much more satisfying. There was no life or death. No panicking. No need to worry about anything. Because Heartless were tiny. Weaklings. They weren't a threat.

They were just a nuisance.

"Riku?"

That was Aerith. He turned around to face her, though he didn't pause in killing Heartless as he did so. Why bother? It's not like he was incapable of multitasking.

Aerith smiled at him. "I thought you'd be out here," she said, sending a blast of fire—maybe Fira? Firaga?—at the nearing Heartless.

"Where's everyone else?" he asked, slashing through a Bookmaster before it could start putting up barriers.

"I woke Cid up. He'll take care of it."

Riku raised his eyebrows. "Cid?" Of all people she could've chosen to wake up…

"Well, I yelled, and he responded," Aerith clarified. "I didn't have time to actually wake anyone up—I had to make sure you were okay."

"Were you really worried about me?" Riku couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. Clearly, he was just fine. He'd killed three Neoshadows in a matter of seconds.

"Well, I did promise Namine to make sure you wouldn't get hurt," Aerith said. "We all did. And you can never be too careful."

He smiled. "Right."

"Behind you!"

He turned and killed the Heartless that'd been aiming for his head without hesitation.

"I heard it coming, but thanks."

Aerith smiled.

"You're welcome."

**_xXx_**

"Where are all the Heartless, anyway?" Sora asked. He and Roxas had been walking for a few minutes now, and they hadn't seen any. Which was annoying, because Sora'd _really like_ his Keyblade back.

Roxas shrugged. "The town's been pretty empty, lately," he said. "It's like something's getting rid of the Heartless."

Sora froze. That's right. Wasn't there something about a threat to the Heartless? That's why he was here. He was supposed to get rid of it.

Not that he'd be able to do much without a Keyblade. The sooner they found Heartless—just a single Heartless, even—the better.

Roxas started poking around behind a statue. "Maybe there's one… aha!" He jumped back, blades ready, as a… Search Ghost popped out. At least Sora _thought_ it was a Search Ghost. It was in the same family as the Search Ghost, anyway.

"I'll take care of it!" Roxas said. He launched himself at the Search Ghost.

Sora watched him attack, eyes going wide. For someone who had most likely never held more than one Keyblade in his life, Roxas was fighting surprisingly well. Well enough that he made it look easy. It was practiced. Perfect. Each swing calculated exactly. Each blow preformed with a graceful precision.

It made Sora jealous.

He looked away, quickly.

"Stop showing off," he called, trying to sound casual and joking about it. He wasn't sure if he succeeded.

Roxas just grinned, now that the Heartless was gone. He handed Sora's Keyblade back to him. Sora snatched it away from him. Immediately it morphed back to its original form—plain and gold and silver, cracked in quite a few places. Just the sight of it disgusted Sora.

"You want to try?" Roxas asked, holding out his Keyblade to Sora.

Sora stared at him for a minute, then went ahead and took it. Almost surprisingly, it didn't change form—didn't break—once it touched his skin. He stared at it for a moment, then shifted how he was holding it, trying to get a better grip. It felt weird in his left hand regardless.

Sora shifted his stance, then took a few practice swings.

"Nice!" Roxas said.

He didn't sound impressed, though.

Sora wanted to scream. No matter what he did, no matter how he swung the blades, it felt awkward. Awful. Pathetic. Nothing like the precision Roxas could somehow wield them with.

He handed Roxas's Keyblade back before the feeling of being hopelessly inferior drove him mad.

Roxas was better than him. Roxas knew more than him. It was a surprise Sora had even survived out in the Worlds. In fact, if Maleficent hadn't needed him for whatever it was, he probably wouldn't have. He useless out on his own.

"Hey what's that?" Roxas asked, suddenly.

Sora turned, grateful for the distraction. Roxas had, most likely, been referring to the strange branch… claw… thing that was sticking out of the ground. Before either of them could get closer to examine it, it snatched up Heartless that was trying to scurry past and disappeared back into the ground.

"So that's what's taking the Heartless!" Roxas exclaimed.

"Where's it taking them, though?" Sora asked, eyes narrowing.

"Ahh…" Roxas thought for a second. "This way," he said, after a moment, and started off.

Sora reluctantly followed after him.


	167. The Discovery

since KH1.5 should be at my house tomorrow I'll completely forget I need to upload a chapter so I should upload one now, ye?

ALSOOOOOO if you haven't read the lastest chapter (ch61) of Can't Escape, you miiiiiiiiiiiight want to go do that because it sort of took place between the last chapter and this chapter, and though I wrote this chapter to be understood without having read the Can't Escape chapter, well, you still probably want to read the Can't Escape chapter. Yeah.

* * *

><p>"Ow, ow, ow ow owowow!" Riku ground his teeth, trying not to scream too much. He was sitting in a chair in the dining room as Aerith looked at his shoulder. Why was she looking his shoulder? Ah, because he'd, well, injured it.<p>

"How _exactly_ did you manage to dislocate your shoulder?" Aerith demanded after a few seconds.

Riku swallowed. "I. Uh." He cleared his throat. "You know the ravine trail?"

Aerith sighed. "You fell."

Riku laughed, nervously. "Well, not exactly. I caught myself, but—"

"Injured your shoulder in doing so," Aerith finished. She sighed again. "Alright. This is going to hurt."

Riku bit his tongue. "Ow!" he gasped, jerking away from her. That hurt more than he'd expected it to.

"Hold still!" she scolded. "I can't set your shoulder with you squirming like that."

"Sorry… it just- _mm!_" He bit his lip. "Hurts."

"Yeah, I warned you, didn't I?" Aerith asked. She chuckled, shook her head. "Right, I'm going to get some ice to help the swelling go down."

Riku shifted slightly in his seat. He focused on the sound of Aerith's footsteps. The sound of her opening the freezer and digging around for the ice. Anything but the thoughts that wanted to run through his head.

Because Axel…

And Namine…

_No._

"Here," Aerith said, placing the ice against his shoulder. He took a sharp breath. The ice was cold against his skin. But that was fine. Something else to distract himself. "Can you hold it there?" Aerith asked.

Riku nodded and did so, pressing the ice into his shoulder. He needed to focus on the cold. The pain that accompanied it. Not anything else. He did _not_ need to focus on anything else. _Certainly _not Axel—the Axel from the other universe, of course, who he'd had the misfortune of running into—and _definitely_ not the things he'd said about—

No. Riku refused to think about them.

Refused to think about her.

_It's what you get for asking, _part of him said, with a bitter laugh.

_I couldn't help it. I was curious. I had to know, _he responded, trying to defend himself.

_You're thinking about it again! _another part of him scolded. _We agreed not to do that!_

He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the ice further into his skin, squeezing his shoulder slightly. The pain would distract him. Could distract him. He hoped.

_You shouldn't be thinking about her. She isn't thinking about you._

_ She hasn't spared a thought towards you since Castle Oblivion, I'm sure._

_ But why can't I get her out of my head?_

He sunk his teeth into his lip until he was tearing at skin. The ice against his shoulder wasn't enough. He couldn't distract himself. It was taking all his self-control to keep himself from wrenching his shoulder out of place again because that pain was much more preferable.

"Hey," Aerith said. "Riku?"

He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She was holding a hi-potion out to him.

"You should probably drink this," she said. "It'll help with the pain."

"I'm fine," Riku said, turning away.

"And it'll help with the _healing_," Aerith added, voice stern.

"Maybe later."

"Riku…"

"I'm fine!"

There was a pause. She shifted, bending down so she was at eye level with him.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, quietly.

Riku didn't look at her for a while. Of course something was wrong. He couldn't stop his thoughts from churning. He couldn't get _her_ out of his head. He tried but he came back to her every few seconds. His mind would always stray back in her direction no matter how hard he tried to tether it.

"I just-" he said. No. No he didn't want to even think about it.

She was the embodiment of the darkest part of his life just as much as he was hers.

"Your shoulder?" Aerith asked.

He shook his head.

"The headache again?"

He shook his head again.

"Then what?"

He swallowed.

"I… don't want to talk about it…"

"Alright." Aerith shrugged and walked away.

He watched her go, a little surprised. "That's it?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. You said you didn't want to talk, so you don't have to talk."

His eyes narrowed. "Is this a trick…?"

"No. I was never trying to make you talk, and I never would if you said you didn't want to." She smiled. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't in pain. By the way, the hi-potion? It's on the counter. I might make you drink it later, but, for now..."

He nodded, slowly.

"Okay."

**_xXx_**

"That?" Sora asked as they reached the edge of town.

Roxas nodded. Yup. That sure looked like it was a boss. "I think so," he told Sora. "See, look, there's one of those things we saw earlier—a… Tentaclaw."

"_Tentaclaw?_" Sora raised his eyebrows, like he expected Roxas to be joking.

"That's what they're called," Roxas said, shrugging. Like he could argue with Heartless names. Who named Heartless, anyway? And why was _Tentaclaw_ a good name? Oh well. "The thing in the middle's called a Leechgrave," he said, before Sora could ask.

"Like that's any better," Sora muttered.

"All Heartless have kind of weird names."

Sora nodded. "That's—wait a minute." His eyes went wide with horror. "_That's_ a Heartless? You're telling me it's _cannibal?_"

Roxas snickered, readying his Keyblade. "Heh, who knows! Let's just kick its butt and get it over with. Should probably go after the Tentaclaws first." That was rule number 14 of fighting. Get rid of the smaller enemies first.

Unfortunately, the Tentaclaws were tougher than they looked. It took Roxas ages—or it _felt_ like ages—to even wear it down to three-quarters-health. He grimaced, rolled out of the way before the thing could snap his head off, and then went in for another attack.

"These things are really hard to beat!" Sora called, sounding a little worried. He jumped into the air and tried to bash at the Tentaclaw, but he didn't stay in the air long and barely managed to get two hits. Obviously he wasn't used to this sort of thing.

"Mmm," Roxas agreed. He seemed to be wearing it down faster than Sora, but he still wasn't doing much good. He cast Thundaga at it—aha! "Hey, magic seems to be pretty effective!" he called. He started to cast Fire—

Oh, that's right. He was out of Fire.

He shot Blizzard at the Tentaclaw instead. It didn't do anything.

"Figures," Roxas muttered. Blizzard magic was really only any good against fire-based Heartless. On anything else? It was basically useless.

"I'm terrible with magic, though!" Sora said. Roxas could hear him groan with frustration.

"Well, now's a good time to get some practice!" Roxas told him. "I'm out of magic, so it's all on you."

"But I'm no good with—"

"Sora, just try! You can do Fire, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then Fire should work."

Sora shot a blast of Fire at the Tentaclaw he was fighting, which left it with about half-health left. Roxas cast his last Thundaga at it, killing it.

"Now come help me out with this one!" he called, nodding over to the Tentaclaw he'd been fighting.

Sora cast another blast of Fire at it as he came over, and Roxas wailed on it with his Keyblade. It died. But not quick enough for Roxas's liking.

"Forget this," he muttered, going after the Leechgrave itself. "Keep attacking the Tentaclaws, will you Sora?" He swung his blade through the Leechgrave repetitively. It's defenses were high—like the Tentaclaws'—but it at least stayed in one spot.

Roxas leapt back, ready to go in for another attack, when he stumbled slightly. He hadn't noticed, but his health had been depleting. But… he could use that to his advantage. He grounded his feet, gathering his strength, focusing his attention into activating his Limit.

Power surged through him, and he threw himself at the Leechgrave. He swung his Keyblade as hard and as fast as he could, the light that enveloped it doubling the strength of his attacks. He coughed, face scrunching as something foul entered his lungs. The Leechgrave had sent out a burst of Poison, and Roxas had just breathed in a large chunk of it.

He didn't stop, though—it'd be a waste of a Limit. He surged forward, feet hardly touching the ground, and continued attacking. Pillars of light burst from him with every hit he landed.

The Limit spent, Roxas jumped back to get a breather. He could activate another Limit if he wanted to. He'd drained the Leechgrave down by about a quarter of its health, which was good. Another Limit couldn't hurt.

He activated it, and rushed forward, repeating the process. And again. And again.

Having just run through four Limits, Roxas staggered back. His vision was blurring, and he felt like he was going to pass out. Worse, the Leechgrave still had at least a third of its health left. Roxas swore and retreated to the side of the area, where nothing could hit him while he healed. He tossed up a Cure for himself, followed shortly by a Cura. The Cure fixed his blurred vision, but it'd take a bit for the Cura to finish and make him feel less like he was going to pass out.

"This would be easier if I had two Keyblades," Roxas mumbled, wistfully.

The adrenaline and power that ran through him when wielding two, not to mention the _strength—_oh, that'd be really useful right now.

"I'm not giving you mine again!" Sora called, not taking his eyes off the Tentaclaw he was fighting. "I'm getting low on magic, and I'd rather not be defenseless."

_Idiot,_ Roxas thought, scolding himself. _You are such an idiot. You should've put off the Limit._

If he failed this mission… his first _important_ mission after being Reactivated…

He didn't want to think of the consequences.

_C'mon…_ he thought, closing his eyes. It was stupid, but, he slowly closed his left hand, like he was summoning a Keyblade.

_"You can't just give up!"_

The voice rang in his ears.

_You're one to talk… _he couldn't help but think. He wasn't sure—

Wait.

His eyes opened.

He was _definitely_ holding something hard and metallic in his left hand. He held it up—

"Aha!" he exclaimed.

He was holding that Keyblade—that Keyblade Sora's had morphed into when he held it. It was white and there was something about it that screamed _light_ so adamantly that it was almost painful. Roxas couldn't help but grin, though, a little giddy.

He could wield two Keyblades.

**_xXx_**

Riku was up in his room—or the room he was borrowing for the week—pacing and trying to read. Everyone else was in bed by now. Except maybe Cid. Cid tended to stay up late. Riku could hear him working and sometimes cursing in his office as he did… whatever it was that he did.

Anyway, Riku was trying to read.

It wasn't going very well.

His head was pounding and every other sentence his mind would drift to _her_ again—

No. No. He needed to focus on the book. It was getting interesting. The prince was finally going to find his father—

_Yet you're still hung up on her._

_ And it's killing you, isn't it?_

Riku cried out in frustration, throwing the book to the ground and then flopping onto the bed. He rolled onto his right side—the good shoulder—and counted the bumps in the wall. Maybe if he counted enough he'd eventually fall asleep, and then he couldn't think about anything. Forget the nightmares. They were better than this.

And even if he didn't fall asleep, maybe the counting would distract him until something else could.

_Four… five… six… seven eight, nine… ten…_

Riku took a deep breath.

_Eleven, twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen… fifteen… sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty—_

_ It's useless._

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to cry. He wouldn't cry. Crying was weak. He didn't want to be weak. He wanted to be strong. Strong enough not to let all this bother him. It shouldn't be bothering him.

He opened his eyes again.

"Twenty_-_one_,_" he murmured. "Twenty_-_two—"

But he'd already counted those bumps, hadn't he?

"Dangit…"

He couldn't help it. Tears started leaking from his eyes.

He couldn't make the thoughts of _her_ stop. He'd tried. He'd been trying all day. But he couldn't. And he couldn't make the tears stop either. It was useless. It was frustrating. He wanted to tear out his hair.

He pounded his fist against the bed instead, wincing slightly as he did so. Moving like that made his shoulder hurt. He rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

_You need to stop. She doesn't matter to you. She shouldn't matter to you._

But she still did.

_You've moved on. You'll never see her again._

Except there was a possibility he could.

_ C'mon. You're better than this._

Was he? He was starting to doubt it…

_ Stop crying._

_ She doesn't care about you._

_ You don't care about her._

But that was a lie.

_Frikken Axel. This is all your fault. Why'd you have to show up, anyway? Sure, you saved me from falling, but I'm beginning to think that would've been better._

He groaned and started to roll over onto his left side—but, dangit, that was his bad shoulder. He had to be careful of that. He rolled over to his other side.

_Though, really, it's _my_ fault, huh?_

_ I was the one who went down to the stupid ravine._

_ I was the one who asked Axel about her._

_ I knew it was a bad idea. I just didn't listen. I never listen. I never frikken listen!_

He pressed his palms into his temples, as if trying to squeeze the thoughts out of his head.

_It. Is. _Useless. _She does _not_ give a damn about you. She _never_ has and you _know_ it._

It was the truth. He knew it. But the truth had never hurt this much. The truth had never left him feeling so broken—

Well…

_"Because I—"_

_ "No. No, Riku, you—"_

No.

He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands harder into his head. He wouldn't think about it. He refused to think about it. It hurt too much. It hurt way too much.

_She_ never cared about him. _No one_ ever cared about him. And the one person who maybe did—the one person who ever calmed all his fears and nightmares—he couldn't spend forever with.

Because he was hurting her.

He was most definitely hurting her and he needed to separate himself from her before she was scarred.

He didn't want to see her scarred.

He didn't want to see her end up like him.

But since when was it any different from last time?

It wasn't.

Here he was again. Dependent on her and longing for her and _needing her so much_.

But because of his stupid mistakes—

Pushing too hard. Pulling himself away. Choosing to spend forever away from her—even just to keep her safe.

She was pissed at him.

She never cared about him.

And it all hurt and wouldn't stop. His head was throbbing. His heart was crying out, churning in his chest, _screaming_ for the pain to just be finished with him. He was really starting to wish that Axel hadn't saved him. Maybe it would hurt less.

He slowly curled in on himself, and everything faded to a painful, blaring white.


	168. The Threat

soooo, chapter?

WARNING: Feels ahead. Eheh.

* * *

><p>Sora grunted in annoyance, trying his hardest to finish off this Tentaclaw. His magic was running low, otherwise he'd just blast it with Fire a few times. So, hack and slash it was.<p>

He thought he was doing alright, when Roxas came over and slashed through the Tentaclaw. It died almost instantly.

Sora lowered his Keyblade, glaring at Roxas. Then his eyes went wide. Roxas had two Keyblades. That black one he'd been wielding, and then that white blade which Sora's had turned into when he'd let Roxas borrow it.

Sora checked. It wasn't his blade. He was still holding that.

He looked up at Roxas. "Since when can you—"

"Not now!" Roxas interrupted. "Later. Right now we need to finish thing off!"

Sora sighed. He wanted to know where Roxas had gotten the second Keyblade. And he wanted to know why Roxas had stopped with that shiny light attack he'd been doing earlier. It had looked pretty effective. Sora couldn't fathom why Roxas would've stopped using it.

Oh well. It didn't matter. He was just supposed to finish of the Tentaclaws. Roxas was going to deal with the rest.

Sora gripped his Keyblade with both hands, aiming it at the nearest Tentaclaw. He had enough magic for at least one blast of fire.

"Wait!" Roxas shouted, nearly knocking the Keyblade out of his hands with his haste.

Sora groaned and pulled his Keyblade out of Roxas's reach.

"_What?_"

"I have an idea," Roxas said. "You can do Curative magic, right?"

Sora raised his eyebrows. _Curative?_ What kind of word was—oh. It probably meant…

"Like, Cure?" He nodded. "Yeah…"

Of course he could do Cure. Nothing _special_ like Cura or strong like Curaga, but a simple Cure wasn't out of his reach.

"Then save your magic for that," Roxas ordered. "I can do a desperation attack that _should_ finish this thing off. But I need to get pretty low on health to activate it, and it won't do anyone any good if I _die_ right after starting it." He laughed, like he was making a joke of some sort.

Sora didn't find it nearly as funny.

"So, you want me to Cure you, then?" he asked.

"Yeah. But only _after_ I start it."

Sora sighed. "How will I know—"

"It'll be obvious," Roxas assured him.

Sora rolled his eyes. Like _that_ was really helpful.

It wasn't.

"What do I do after I've Cured you?" Sora asked, as Roxas headed over to attack one of the two remaining Tentaclaws.

"Help me out, of course!" Roxas called, grinning as he swiped through the Tentaclaw with his blades.

It w_asn_'t **f****_ai_****r.**

Wh_y did R_oxas get _tw_o bla_de_s?

**W****_hy c_****an't ****_I—_**

Sora tried to summon a second blade to him—maybe it'd work, it's not like he'd ever _tried_ before. None came. His head was pounding. His heart was pounding.

_Wh_y _do I f_eel _so s_ic_k?_

"Are you going to help or what?" Roxas called. He was pounding on the Tentaclaw, one blade after the other, never stopping. Sora didn't see how he could help, but he went over to the other Tentaclaw. Might as well wear it down for Roxas.

**_It isn't f_****a****_ir._**

He'd only dealt maybe three blows to the Tentaclaw before Roxas had destroyed the other one. Sora gritted his teeth, trying to ignore his pounding ears and racing heart. So what? Roxas was better than him? He'd probably been doing this for longer.

It was n_oth_ing, really.

**_Really._**

One of Roxas's blades came flying over, slicing through the Tentaclaw with such force Sora was surprised it didn't break in half. Roxas was running after his Keyblade, and caught it as it came boomeranging back to him.

Sora tried not to think too much about it, and continued hacking away at the Tentaclaw. To his surprise, Roxas had gone off to engage the Leechgrave instead of helping him destroy the Tentaclaw.

_Probably to get ready for that desperation attack…_ Sora thought.

Of course, if he wasn't low enough on health, then he wouldn't be able to use it.

_It's a double-edged sword._

_ Like the darkness._

_ Useful, but potentially deadly._

Sora shook his head. The pounding was growing stronger. And now there was a buzzing in his ears. He wanted it to stop. He w_an_ted it t_o—_

The Tentaclaw died, all of a sudden, and the Leechgrave collapsed.

"_Now,_ Sora!" Roxas called.

Not even thinking about it, Sora cast Cure and directed it at Roxas.

Roxas was attacking the Leechgrave furiously, light exploding from his blades with every hit. Sora ran over, prepared to help, but the light Roxas was sending out was practically blinding, and it made the buzzing in his ears even worse. Taking another step seemed impossible. He felt like he'd collapse.

He summoned his strength and sent a blast of Fire at the Leechgrave. It seemed to do something. He tossed his Keyblade at instead, like Yuffie'd taught him too. It hit its mark, but it certainly didn't do as much damage as what Roxas was doing.

Roxas had jumped into the air, blades pressed together, burning with light. Light rained from the sky, crashing down on the Leechgrave. Sora leapt back, before any of the attack could hit him.

_All this light's making me di_zz_y…_

Finally, Roxas dropped from the sky. His feet hit the ground, then his blades, then his knees. He looked ready to pass out. But the Leechgrave was dead, and it disappeared in a burst of light. Sora staggered towards Roxas. He should probably h_el_p him…

**_He's _**_pr_oba_bly __**fine.**_

_**Look at the w**_**ay h****_e killed that th_****i****_ng. …it w_****as ****_a Heartless, rig_****h****_t?_**

Roxas pushed himself up, eyes fixing themselves on Sora. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a hi-potion. "Here," he said, pushing it into Sora's free hand. Sora stared down at it in shock.

"Talk about déjà vu," he muttered.

**_He's _****ob****_viously fine. _**

Roxas chuckled, pulling out a hi-potion for himself.

"You looked a little shaky, that's all." He laughed. "Not that that was too hard, was it?"

**_He nev_****e****_r has t_****ro****_uble with the Heartless. One s_****wi****_pe of h_****is****_ Keyblade and _****th****_ey're dead._**

Sora uncorked the bottle with his teeth. He was still gripping his Keyblade tightly. He couldn't let go of it. He **di****_dn_****'t w****_a_****nt** to let go of it. He poured the hi-potion down his throat.

_Why was I here a_ga_in?_

His head was still pounding. Was he shaking? No? He felt like he was.

_Why was I_—?

His eyes fixed on Roxas.

**_Get rid of th_****e thr****_eat to the Heartless._**

Sora's chest felt like it was on fire. He could hardly think with how hard his pounding. What was going on? He felt sick.

The shattering of glass just barely broke through the buzzing in his ears.

He blinked a few times, trying to clear his head and figure out what had just happened. Roxas was staring at him, eyes wide with shock. He didn't look scared. Just surprised. _Angry._

Sora looked at his hand. Was it shaking? But there was something sticky on his fingers—

_Roxas's hi-potion!_

He'd knocked it out of Roxas's hands…

And now he was raising his Keyblade…

_I feel sick._

_Rox_as_ is shout…ing bu_t _I can't… h_e_ar him…_

_ It's all… a buzz…_

_ It's all…_

He felt his arm swing down to strike Roxas, and it all went black.

**_xXx_**

_The scene was all too familiar. White walls. White floor. White ceiling that was way out of their reach. They were sitting in one of the empty rooms somewhere on the… Twelfth floor? He couldn't remember. But they were sitting on one of the higher platforms, right on the edge, feet dangling off the side._

_Him, and…._

_Namine._

But… that wasn't—

_"Riku, why do you…?" she trailed off. Her voice was kind enough, but she said his name like there was something wrong with it, and she wouldn't look at him either. He tried to ignore these things, just like he always did. It's not like she was really, honestly, ever much happy. Not even around him._

Why are we here again?

Oh, yeah. We snuck away. Someone will come looking for us soon…

_"Why do I what?" he asked, gently._

_ She shrugged, hopelessly. "Do… this. For me."_

_ "Because I promised I'd protect you," he replied, simply. "Promised to… make you smile."_

Right…

Oh, my heart feels heavy.

_There was more to the promise than that. He knew that. Maybe she did, too. But… no, it was stupid._

I was so stupid.

_"Of course," she whispered, voice catching as she turned away. Her hair fell to cover her face. She was shaking slightly._

_ His heart wrenched._

She's done this before…

But… why would she be crying now?

_Gently, he reached out and brushed her hair aside. Sure enough, those were tears in her eyes. He bit his lip, but slowly wiped her tears away. She shuddered under his touch, and he quickly pulled his hand back, fingers balling into a fist._

Idiot.

_"Did I- did I do something wrong?" he stammered._

_ She didn't reply. She just got to her feet and walked a few paces away from him. "I'm going back," she said. Her voice was shaking. "The Organization's going to be upset—"_

_ "So?" he laughed, relaxing a little—_I shouldn't have—_"They aren't going to hurt you."_

_ "They'll hurt _you!_" The desperation in her voice hurt. The fact she didn't even turn to look at him even more so._

_ He rose to his feet, shrugging, blowing it all off. "I don't care. They can punish me all they want. I'm not going to stop spending time with you." He grinned at her, slightly annoyed, but only slightly. She was only worried about him, after all. How could he be annoyed at that?_

_ "But I've _seen_ what Larxene does to you," she whispered. "Doesn't that _hurt?_"_

Like hell.

_"Well, yeah…" he replied, slowly. "But I'll put up with it."_

_ She was silent for quite some time, trembling. He had a feeling it wasn't with fear…_

_ Finally, she turned to him, furious tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why?" she demanded. "_Why_, Riku? Why_?_"_

No. No please. Anything but this.

_ "Well, because…" he began, but trailed off. It was stupid. He couldn't say it. He couldn't… _

_Could he?_

_ "I'm going," she muttered. She turned and started off, clearly not going to wait for him._

_ He grimaced, glancing down at his feet._

_ Could he really?_

Don't!

_"Because…" he whispered, quietly, to himself._

Don't do it! Please!

Please don't make me go through this again!

_Then, in determination, he looked up. His eyes fixed on her retreating form. It was time. Time he told her._

Please…

_ "Because I love you!" he called._

_ She stopped then, going rigid. Her entire body was shaking. His stomach churned. He'd misstepped, hadn't he? He must've. Slowly, though, he moved until he was closer to her, reaching out and grabbing her hand._

_ "I do," he said. "I love you, Namine."_

"Riku!"

Namine!

That- that was-

That felt like… when… our minds were connected—

No!

"Namine please, you have to get out of here!"

I don't want you seeing this.

"Riku, I-"

"Go!"

Ohh… I hope she didn't see… I hope she didn't see…

_"I'm sorry," Namine—_Not Namine. _Her_.—_whispered, shaking her head slowly. "I'm so sorry."_

_ "Why are you apologizing?" he asked, dread filling him._

_ She pulled her hand away and turned around again, though she stepped out of his reach. She looked at him, but didn't meet his eye. "None of this is real," she said. "N- none of it!"_

_ "What are you talking about!?"_

You know what she's talking about, idiot.

_Her beautiful blue eyes were stained with sorrow. Her face was painted with guilt. His heart tore. He didn't like that look. He hated that look. He wanted to fix it. Make it better. He wanted to—_

_ "You don't love me."_

_"What?" he choked._

_ "I'm sorry," she repeated. "But you have the right to know. This, all of _this,_ isn't real. You don't love me. You never have—"_

If only that were true…

_"Namine, what are you _saying_!?" he screamed. "Of course it's real! I _love_ you. How is that—"_

_ "Riku, don't listen to what your heart is telling you!"_

It's only telling me lies… I know…

I don't need to hear you finish it.

_Tears started forming in his eyes. He cursed himself. He couldn't cry in front of her. He wouldn't—_

_ But that didn't stop the tears from falling._

And it only gets worse.

_"_There_ you two are!"_

Hello, Larxene… right on cue…

_"_Riku, listen to me, it's—_"_

_ Larxene looked between the two of them, trying to gauge the situation. She looked amused, but he knew better. He was in for a world of hurt, regardless of her mood._

But that's alright. At least it will hurt less than the rest of this…

_"Oh, _dear,_ what's happened?" Larxene asked, giggling. She went over to Namine—_don't touch her!—_and grabbed her by the shoulder. Namine didn't move, frozen in fear._

_ "You didn't go and tell him the truth, did you?"_

_ "I-"_

_ "But look at his face!"_

Get away from me.

_Larxene took a step forward and grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to look up at her, sharply. He shoved her hand away and jumped back. She only grinned._

_ "You did tell him!" Larxene returned her attention to Namine. "What in the worlds possessed you to do that?"_

_ "_Leave her alone!"

_The words left his throat in a growl. He knew this routine all too well._

_ "Aww, and he's still trying to protect you! How sweet!" Larxene giggled, but she turned her attention on Namine again. All traces of excitement left her face. She was angry now. Namine flinched._

_"Still, you weren't supposed to tell him the truth," Larxene said, all amusement gone from her voice. "We're going to have to make forget this, you know."_

_"I know," Namine stammered. "I- I'll take care of that right now—"_

_"Ah, wait! Not _quite_ yet!" The smile returned to Larxene's face, and she summoned her knives. "There still is the matter of _punishment_, for helping you sneak off—"_

_"No, please!" Namine shouted, grabbing Larxene's arm, as if that would stop her._

Don't you dare!

_"You- you're going to make me erase the memory from his mind, anyway!" Namine continued. "Why- why can't you just—"_

_ "Please," Larxene scoffed, shaking her off. "It's not like you actually _care._"_

_ She summoned a bolt of lightning to her. Riku turned away, bracing himself._

Just throw the lightning already. Get this over with. Before she—

_"Don't!" Namine shouted, throwing herself in front of Larxene._

Please… Namine…

_He looked up, shocked. Why was she still trying to protect him? She knew how this was going to end. And she'd already broken his heart once—_

_ He wished she'd stop toying with him._

_ She didn't love him. That was the reason for all this, nothing more. She'd just made it all up—all this about lies and him not loving her. She'd made it all up to avoid telling him she didn't feel the same._

_ And she _didn't_ need to protect him!_

_ "What are you waiting for, Larxene?" he called, pushing Namine out of the way._

Let's get this over with.

_"Riku, don't—"_

_ Despite the tears that were still pouring down the cheeks and the awful pain that was building in his chest, he smiled. "Don't worry about me, Namine," he told her. "I'll be alright."_

Of course, that was a lie.

_ He certainly didn't _feel_ alright, about ten seconds later, when the lightning struck. He was thrown back, landing roughly on the ground. And that was what it took to break the dam. The tears and the screams poured out of him like a flood, and he lay there, curled in a sobbing heap, as lightning bolt after lightning bolt struck._

_ The hurt in his heart was much worse than the pain in his body._

_ "You may have hurt me, Namine," he choked, when Larxene paused. "But I don't care. I don't. I could never- _never_ hate you for it."_

_ He doubted that she actually heard him._

_ He was pretty sure that she'd left once Larxene had started throwing lightning at him._

_ "I will still protect you. And I will always love you."_


	169. The Realization

"Damn wolf!" he spat, kicking a rock across the tunnel he was in. He couldn't remember what world this was. He knew he was underground. The walls around him were dark and rough—he'd made his knuckles hurt real bad by punching them earlier. Not that he bled. He never bled.

"Where the hell did it even go?" He picked up the nearest rock and chucked it at the wall. "It was supposed to come back! _Dammit!_" He couldn't locate another rock nearby, so he threw a blast of darkness at the wall instead.

"It's been _over_ a week since it left me-" He threw another blast of darkness at the wall. "And _no sign_ of Sora!" He summoned his blade and turned on the column in the center of the room, hacking away at it, sparks and darkness flying with every hit. "What. The. _Hell. _Am I- _supposed-_ to. Do?"

The pillar cracked, shifted slightly, the ceiling above him rumbling. He quickly rolled out of the way before any chunks of the ceiling could fall on him. He looked down at the rubble, disgusted, and prepared to kick one of the smaller chunks across the room.

"Hey!" someone called, and he paused, glancing up. He was surprised to see none other than Hades—the Lord of the Dead himself. He looked pretty miffed.

Sora's Shadow just rolled his eyes, and rubbed his head, looking away. He smirked slightly. Well, this would be fun to watch. What would Hades do when he discovered there was no one here who could've possibly done this?

Or, no one he could _see,_ anyway.

"What do you think you're _doing?_" Hades shouted. "I mean, sure, this place could use a little remodeling, but collapsing half of the ceiling is uncalled for!"

Sora's Shadow glanced over at him. Was he really going to shout at thin air? Wait…

No, it had to be a coincidence that he was looking this direction. Of course.

"I don't see what shouting's gonna do for you," Sora's Shadow muttered, examining his knuckles. Still no blood, though they were throbbing again. He ran his thumb over them. Yup. Nothing but pain.

"Excuse me?" Hades asked. In a puff of smoke and a little fire, he was suddenly standing about three inches away from Sora's Shadow. Sora's Shadow backpedaled, and Hades jabbed him in the chest, _hard_. "And just who do you think you're talking to, Mr. wreck-other-people's-property?"

"I- uh-" Sora's Shadow stared in shock, stumbling back a few more paces. Could Hades? _No!_ But how else to explain—"You can _see_ me?" he blurted, finally, unable to do anything more than stare.

Hades raised his eyebrows, looking a little surprised himself. "What? Am I not supposed to or something?" he asked.

"Well… _normally_ people can't," Sora's Shadow stammered. "I mean, I've run into a _few_ people, but it's a very _small_ number… The hearing thing is much more than common, but actually _seeing_ me…?" he trailed off. About… three people could do that. It wasn't any more than three.

"News flash!" Hades said, smiling a toothy grin. "This is _my _Underworld, and there'd be a problem if I couldn't see the people mucking about in it."

"_Your_ Underworld?" He quickly masked his confusion. "Ohho! So _you're_ Hades! I should've known. No other god could be this handsome."

Hades didn't seem impressed. "Uhuh, yeah, flattery's great, kid. So what's your excuse, hmm?"

"I'm… uh…" Sora's Shadow swallowed. What was he supposed to say? He needed to say something that involved Hades _not_ getting mad at him. But… what? He… wasn't used to… "I'm looking for somebody?" he offered.

"Aaaand what does that have to do with collapsing a cave?"

"I- uh-"

Yeah. Taking responsibility was something he certainly wasn't used to. Figuring there wasn't an easier way out of this, he turned and ran.

He hadn't gotten more than twenty feet when Hades reappeared in front of him, grinning again.

"Leaving so soon?"

**_xXx_**

_"Sora!"_

His head was pounding.

_"What the heck are you doing?"_

A rush of movement. The sound of blades crashing together.

_"Destroy… the th_re_at…"_

Roxas's sharp blue eyes were filled with shock, but not panic. In fact, there was a glint to them. A glint—

_"Heh. Y'know, I guess I should've expected this!"_

Panic. Jump back. Feet hit the ground.

_What if he's—?_

Blades striking. Sparks flying.

_"You're making a huge mistake, you know?"_

Blurring pain—

Sora sat up in shock. He rubbed his head, fingers curling into his hair, trying to find something to hold onto to steady himself. His body ached all over. His head was still throbbing, and he felt a little sick, too.

_What did I… do?_

_ Did I… do something?_

He couldn't entirely remember. He cradled his head in his hands, closing his eyes.

He'd been… in Halloween Town. With that boy. Roxas, he said his name was. Roxas was… could wield a Keyblade. And he'd been wearing one of those black cloaks. So he was a part of that Organization, wasn't he? Probably.

But there was something else about Roxas…

_It wasn't fair._

Sora opened his eyes. "What?" he whispered.

_What_ wasn't fair? Roxas was… Roxas…

_We were walking around town,_ Sora told himself. _And we talked and had fun, I guess. Then we fought a Heartless together, and we killed it… and… and then—_

Nothing. Sora couldn't remember it.

He squinted hard, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. What'd happened? Why did it hurt his brain so much to think about? But there was something he was forgetting. He knew that. So he should… try and remember it. He focused all his attention into what he could remember. Every detail. Maybe he'd trigger something.

He and Roxas had been standing there. Roxas was a little shaky—he'd just single-handedly taken down that Heartless, after all—but he was alright. And Roxas had done all the work. Sora knew that. He'd helped a little, but it'd all been Roxas. And he'd been thinking that Roxas was strong, clearly very strong.

And he was caring, too. When he got out the hi-potions to cure them after the battle, he'd handed Sora one first. Didn't even pull out one for himself right away. He'd made sure Sora was taken care of, first, and _then_ he'd—

Sora's eyes went wide. The sound of shattering glass mixed with Roxas shouting filled his ears.

_I knocked his hi-potion out of his hands._

_ And then I attacked him._

It was all rushing back to him now. Images, sounds, all jumbling together. The shattering glass. His blade and Roxas's crossed. That glint in Roxas's eyes. He hadn't seemed too worried about the battle—_and no wonder, I feel like I got ran over by a truck!_—but that didn't change anything.

Sora had still attacked him.

After Roxas had been nice to him, shared his potions with him, saved him from Heartless, told him about treasure chests, and all around treated him like a friend he'd known for years, despite them having just met.

And even though Roxas had done all that, Sora'd still attacked him.

_I let the darkness get the best of me, and I attacked him!_

He hoped he hadn't seriously injured Roxas, but, if how much he ached right now was any indication, then he had a pretty good feeling that Roxas was doing just well. He was strong, after all. He'd nearly single-handedly taken down that Heartless. It didn't matter if he was tired. So was Sora.

Roxas definitely came out of that battle alive.

_I wouldn't have killed him anyway. I wouldn't kill anybody!_

_ Certainly not someone who'd been so nice to me._

Sora pulled himself out of the bed—that stupid bed—ignoring all of his aches and how his muscles cried out regardless of how he moved. He didn't want to lie there any longer. He didn't want to be here any longer. He'd never really wanted to be in Maleficent's care, but he'd never wanted to be away from here so strongly as he'd wanted to be right now, either.

_Never again, _he thought. _I'll never let this happen again._

_ Attacking someone who did me no wrong?_

_ Someone who clearly wasn't a threat to me or to anyone I cared about?_

_ No._

_ I would never._

On a whim, he summoned his Keyblade to him, holding it out in front of him. His eyes fixed themselves on the crack that ran down the length of it, narrowing slightly. The crack represented how broken he was. How much the darkness had become a part of him.

But cracks could be mended. And so could hearts.

"Did you hear that?" he whispered. "I won't hurt people I care about, and I won't attack complete strangers, either. And you _can't make me._"

He took a deep breath. This was so wrong. Attacking Roxas. Attacking anyone. Letting the darkness use him like this. He wasn't a monster. He wouldn't hurt innocent people. He'd rather not hurt anyone at all.

"I'm better than this. I am stronger than this. This is _not_ a path I am going to take." He nodded, firmly. "Never again. Do you understand that? Never again."

Sora watched as that crack in his Keyblade started filling itself in.

And ever so slowly, he smiled.

**_xXx_**

"Vexen?"

Vexen looked up from his notes. He'd been searching through them to see if he could find any other information he'd written down on Namine's meltdowns. While, of course, they were currently testing Alpha's hypothesis, there was…

Well, there was certainly a chance that Alpha _could_ be wrong.

"Yes?" Vexen asked, a little surprised to see Amaryllis. Amaryllis usually didn't bother him about things. It was usually Alpha who did that.

"Well, do you remember when Riku suggested that retrieving the external might work best as a one-person stealth mission?" Amaryllis asked.

"Yes…" Vexen responded, slowly, wondering where this was heading.

"Alpha and I were discussing it, and thought maybe you should go," Amaryllis said. "Seeing as you're not from this universe—"

"I'm not setting foot in the World that Never Was if I don't have to," Vexen replied, returning his attention to his notes.

"Why not?" Amaryllis asked, sounding a little confused.

"Because if the Organization discovers _who_ I am—"

"And what's so special about you?" Alpha asked. Vexen turned to locate him, and was surprised to find him sitting on the opposite end of the couch. How long had he been there?

Regardless.

"Oh, I don't know, nothing besides the fact that I'm _perfectly capable_ of restarting the Program," Vexen spat. He groaned, raking a hand through his hair. "And seeing as I'm not a Replica—plus the bonus of being from another universe and having different knowledge—they might just _let me_."

"How is that a bad thing?" Amaryllis asked, slowly, suddenly seeming very curious, his eyes narrowed with thought. "I mean… if you could get on the inside and—"

"You expect me to get on the inside and be a double agent?" Vexen asked. He laughed. "That wouldn't go well."

"It wouldn't?"

"It wouldn't. Trust me."

"Why wouldn't it?" Alpha asked.

"Because I won't say no when Xehanort forces me to build him Replicas!" Vexen practically shouted, very narrowly keeping himself from jumping to his feet with his frustration. He was the _worst_ person for this job! Why couldn't they understand that?

"Xemnas," Alpha corrected.

"Whatever. That doesn't change the fact that I'll probably end up running before I can do you any good."

"Mmm, I don't know," Alpha said. "If you could get into the Program just long enough to get the passwords, or maybe change them to one we've already agreed on, and _then_ run—"

"I can get you a star shard on the off chance you need alternate means of escape," Amaryllis adds.

"I am _not_ doing this!"

"It'd make our lives a lot easier if you would, you know," Alpha said.

Vexen sighed, burying his face in his hands. "I suppose, if it becomes our only option, I might consider it," he muttered. "But at the moment, there's still the chance that I will be able to hack the Program from here and change the passwords. Besides…" He looked up. "I thought we were focusing on the external, anyway!"

"But if we only get the external, we'll just be back at that stalemate we've been at for the past two months," Alpha replied. "And we're running out of pieces to keep this game going. If you want to consider this all like a game of chess."

"What, so they took our queen, and I'm the pawn you're sacrificing to get her back?" Vexen asked.

Alpha shrugged. "And maybe you'll be able to take their queen in the process."

"If by 'queen' you mean the passwords, I can get those without sacrificing myself!" Vexen retorted. "I am not doing this."

"Vexen, please," Amaryllis said. "Can you at least go get the external? You can form a corridor straight to it. If you get caught, you get caught, but you _shouldn't_."

Vexen let out a long breath and leaned back. He wasn't going to talk himself out of it, it seemed, even though it was more than logical that _anyone else_ go retrieve the external. He rubbed his head. "Where is the external?" he asked.

It couldn't hurt to ask.

"Here." Alpha moved so he was closer to Vexen, and pulled up a file on his laptop. It was a video. Security footage, from the looks of it. The camera was trained on a computer desk—though the computer's monitor was at angle so you couldn't see the screen.

The footage was short, showing a Larxene Replica walk in, and stash the external in one of the desk drawers. She paused to look at the computer, but she didn't get more than a few keystrokes in before leaving the room again. From the looks of it, the computer didn't do what she wanted it to and she gave up.

"Don't ask me _why_ she did that," Alpha said. "But that was very clearly our external."

"It was probably sabotage," Amaryllis said. "That's a very Larxene thing to do."

Vexen nodded, absentmindedly, more focused on the computer on the desk than the Larxene's motives. "That's a very… clunky computer," he commented.

"It's R's," 7 said, automatically.

They all turned to look at him. He was sitting in a chair not far from them, but far enough that he wouldn't have been able to see the footage. He wouldn't have been able to even see the computer screen.

"I mean, there's no other 'clunky' computer in the World that Never Was," 7 continued. "It has to be hers. All other computers you could define as 'clunky' were thrown out. She built hers out of scrap parts."

"So if it's R's computer…" Vexen said, slowly.

"Then you'll be perfectly safe going down and grabbing the external," 7 replied. "If not hacking into the Program while you're at it."

"What do you mean?" Alpha asked.

"No one goes down there," 7 said. "I mean, _someone _did, if they stashed the external—"

"I meant about hacking the Program!"

"Oh." 7 shrugged. "Well, once you get into the computer, I'm _fairly certain _she already has access to the Program."

"You're joking."

7 shook his head. "No. This is R we're talking about. She has—had—access to the Program without a doubt. It is… _was_… necessary for her, ah, hobby. Whether or not she's still logged on from her computer is, well…" He shrugged, then. "But it's possible."

"So there's a chance I could go and not only retrieve the external, but also change the passwords while I'm at it?" Vexen asked. "_Without_ it involving getting found out by the Organization?"

"There's a chance, certainly." 7 nodded, very confident in himself. "Do you want me to go, though? I'll have the best luck getting into her computer."

Vexen caught himself before he said "yes, please, go in my stead". Because… well…

"How skilled are you with the Program?" he asked.

"Decent," 7 said. "I'm much more skilled with the Repair Program and building Replicas and how Replicas work. Not so much with the actual mechanics of the Program itself. But, if someone were to walk me through it-"

"I'll go," Vexen said. "You'll have to help me get into her computer, from the sounds of it, but…" How could he say no at this point? He could get the external, along with having a fairly good shot at changing the passwords. And there was hardly a risk of him getting caught! "I'll go. Yes."


	170. The Agreement

[insert important author's note here]

**update feb 2014: **ayyyy now I do have an important author's note and that is announcing that ASASch54 covers this chapter from Yuffie's POV!

* * *

><p>Riku didn't get out of bed the next day. Well, he got up once to get his book, but he discovered quickly enough that reading wasn't going to go well, and had tossed the book to the floor again. After that he'd just flopped back onto bed and put the pillow over his head and tried to shut out the world—or more importantly, the thoughts that were running around in his head.<p>

_You should probably go downstairs… find something to do…. _he told himself.

He pulled the pillow away from his face, staring up at the ceiling.

He didn't feel like moving, though…

His head was still pounding from the nightmare.

_Of all the memories… why'd it have to be that one?_

_ I already know she doesn't care about me. I don't need it smacked in my face like that._

_ Besides, I thought I was done having dreams like—_

There was a knock on the door.

"Riku?"

It was Aerith.

He rolled over, quickly, fumbling for the book. He winced, though. That was his bad shoulder he'd just rolled onto. "One sec," he called, clenching his teeth to fight back the pain. He finally had the book, though, and quickly positioned himself like he'd been reading this entire time. "Yeah?"

Aerith opened the door and poked her head in.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Okay." She smiled. "I was just worried, because you hadn't come downstairs…"

"'Fraid I'd left?" he asked.

She shook her head, laughed. "No, I was just worried about you. It's one in the afternoon… that's a long time to sleep in…"

Riku shrugged. "I wasn't… exactly… sleeping…" he said, slowly.

"So, did you finish the book?" Aerith asked, after a moment.

He shook his head. "No- not- not yet," he said. "Been a little distracted."

"Right… Can I look at your shoulder?"

He nodded. Aerith came in the room, told him to sit up on the bed, and then started feeling his shoulder, having him move in various ways. He did so, mindlessly, his thoughts elsewhere.

Now that he was distracted by something other than, well—

He was beginning to hear things, from downstairs. It wasn't a surprise. Aerith was fairly quiet, probably sensing he didn't want to talk, and with his hearing the way it was…

"I bet he's just upset because he's away from Namine," Yuffie said. She was loud. No surprise.

"Heh, you're probably right!" Cid laughed. He wasn't much quieter.

"Give him a break," Leon said. "It's not like this is easy."

"What would you know, Leon?" Yuffie asked

"I'm just saying it's hard to spend a lot of time away from someone you love."

Riku tensed.

_I don't get it. Why are they going on like I—_

No.

_No, I don't._

He didn't. He couldn't. He wouldn't _allow_ it.

_Besides, what would they know, anyway?_

They didn't. They didn't know anything about him

"Are you done?" he asked Aerith, gruffly.

"Hmm? Oh!" Aerith nodded, satisfied, and stepped away from him. "Yeah. Yeah, I think you'll be okay. It's in place, and… should heal just fine. Though…" She handed him a hi-potion.

He grunted, but took it from her. It'd just be faster if he didn't argue with her. He downed the hi-potion, and then got to his feet.

"Where are you going?" Aerith asked, a little surprised.

"For a walk," he said, heading downstairs, and out of the house. He ignored everyone else. Counted his steps.

He just needed to be _moving_ or he'd go crazy.

**_xXx_**

"Leaving so soon?"

"I- shit." Sora's Shadow backpedaled, distancing himself from Hades. His brain was spinning. "I was- no. No, actually, I-" He dusted himself off, straightening his shoulders and all around trying to compose himself. "I was looking for you. Yes. I was trying to get your attention."

"_Really?" _Hades didn't seem convinced.

"Yes. I, uh, wanted to ask you something."

"Me specifically?" Hades asked. "Or any chump who stumbled on your noise-making?"

"You specifically." He cleared his throat. "I'm, uh, I'm looking for someone. And I heard you might be able to help."

Hades lit up—not _quite_ literally, but there was now a certain glint to his eyes that Sora's Shadow wasn't sure if he liked or not. "You want my help looking for someone? Well, that shouldn't be too hard to do!"

"Yeah?"

Finally.

"Yeah, sure." Hades was very nonchalant about the whole thing, making it seem like it was no big deal. "Locating people—it's a specialty, really. Ah, but, of course, my work comes with a price!"

"Ah…."

_Y'know, I was sort of expecting that, to be honest…_

He tentatively started poking around in Hades's head, trying not to be too obvious about it. Hades was… affiliated with the darkness. To an extent. Maybe he knew something that Sora's Shadow didn't…

"Actually, not a price, per say…" Hades said, quickly. Like he'd noticed that he'd lost his audience and was doing his best to make up for it. "Think of it as a favor. I'm doing you a favor, so it's only natural you owe me one in return—"

"Name it." He folded his arms across his chest. It wouldn't hurt to see what Hades's terms were. And he could still probe Hades's mind while he was at it.

"How would you feel about entering a tournament, hmm?" Hades asked. Sora's Shadow quickly moved before Hades could put an arm around him. He didn't want to test his odd plane of existence. At least Hades got the point and didn't try again. "It's something of a… game," he continued, as if nothing had happened. "You seem like someone who likes games."

"Mmm…"

_ Not necessarily _these_ sort of games._

"Anyway, there's this guy," Hades continued. "Hercules. He's something of a big deal—a hero and stuff—but he's _really_ just a thorn in my side. And he'll be in the games, too. Your job? To fight him, and _kill_ him!"

_All that effort just for—_

He frowned.

"Why do I have to go through that tournament, though?" he asked.

_That seems awfully roundabout. And dumb._

"I mean, wouldn't it just be easier to have me kill him flat out and _not_ in the games?"

"Easier? Sure!" Hades laughed. "But easy isn't what I'm going for. No. It needs to look like… an accident! _I _can't be held responsible for an over-eager warrior, if you get what I mean."

"Oh." Yeah. He got it. "Right…" He scratched his ear, grimacing. "Yeah, uhm, I don't know if I'm the man for the job, though. I mean, I'd _love_ to, but I—" He paused, eyes going wide.

_Aha!_

He'd found something juicy in Hades's mind.

"Juicy" meaning information on Maleficent, of course.

"Tell you what," he said. "I'll do it for you. As soon as I find that guy I'm looking for. He's a good friend of mine, and he should be able to help me out." He fought back the grimace that was threatening to form on his face and the bile that rose in his throat. Sora? His friend? Ugh. But for the purpose of convincing Hades, he needed to lie about that. "I'll have a better chance against this Hercules guy if we team up, right? I mean, he's obviously pretty strong if you're having so much trouble getting rid of him."

Hades nodded. From the looks of it, he liked the sounds of this idea.

"Also, I think I know how to make it look like an accident," Sora's Shadow added.

That got him.

"Do you now?" Hades asked.

"Yeah! And I'm fairly confident it'll work!" He grinned, feeling rather confident. This was going well. "Of course, again, I gotta find this guy first."

"Sure thing, sure thing!" Hades said. "How exactly do you want my help? Do you want me to track him down _for_ you, lend you a tracking hound—I've got a few of those—maybe give you a general idea of where he could be, keep an eye out for him—"

"I need information," Sora's Shadow said. No game playing right now. No tricks. He was just going to give it to Hades outright. "What do you know about Maleficent?"

"Maleficent? That _witch? _Pah! Promises us the moon, then blames _us_ when her plans fail!" Hades flared red with anger, and he pounded his fist against the wall, causing another portion of the already-damaged-ceiling to collapse. He didn't seem to notice. "I mean it's not like it's _our_ fault the stupid Keyblade brat was too much of a goody-two-shoes to agree to our plan. Not to mention that he wasn't suited to handle the darkness at all! How'd he even end up involved in it, anyway?"

"A fluke," Sora's Shadow answered, on reflex.

"Must've been!" Hades rubbed his head, took a breath, calming himself down again. "But what does Maleficent got to do with your friend?"

"Ahh… my friend's the Keyblade brat." Again, no tricks right now. Besides, manipulation worked best with truths and half-truths.

"Hmm, not surprised," Hades said. "You look enough like him… Say! You look pretty darkness-oriented yourself, too!"

"Yeah. You have no idea."

_I don't have time for this…_

"But, anyway, I need to get him away from her—"

"Now, now, _wait_ a minute!" Hades interrupted, anger flashing across his face. "_You_ said your 'friend' would be able to help you! If your friend is the Keyblade brat then how is that going to work? We both agreed he's too much of a good-doer to even _think_ about hurting Hercules!"

"I know! I know." Sora's Shadow held up his hand in defense. "But that's the _point._" He tried to keep the smirk off his face. "He's not supposed to look like he can hurt Hercules. No one will be expecting it, then. So, when, say… the darkness lashes out from him all of a sudden… and he can't control it… or contain it… and say it… lashes out and _oops._" He grinned now. "Buh-bye Hercules."

"And you can make that happen?"

He nodded. "Trust me. I've got a way with Sora. I can make that happen—at worst, it requires a little acting on my part. I could play the part of his darkness, don't you think? His darkness, lashing out, taking form against his will and blindly attacking anyone and anything it its path." He smirked. "Don't tell me this isn't convincing."

Hades stared at him for a long moment, but then nodded. "You know… you may be onto something."

"Exactly. I just have to find Sora first."

"You said… ah, Maleficent had him?"

He nodded.

"Then we may have a bigger problem than Hercules here." Hades grinded a fist into his palm, clearly annoyed. It seemed Maleficent and annoyed went hand in hand. "Even if the Keyblade brat—Sora, did you say his name was? Well, whatever. Even if he wasn't much of a good vessel for the darkness, Maleficent knew what she was doing. And if she's pulling the strings for that kid again—"

"So we both agree that Maleficent having Sora is a bad idea?" Sora's Shadow asked, grinning. Oh, yes, things were going good.

_Better than I expected them to, actually._

"Agreed, yes, yes," Hades said, impatiently. "Now, how do you plan on getting him back?"

"I need to find Maleficent first. Do you have any ideas? Base of operations? Where she might head next? How powerful is she?" He couldn't help the questions from spewing from his mouth. Everything he'd been needing to know was right in front of him. "Can I take her? What's she like? Am I better off grabbing Sora and—"

"Whoa whoa, slow down there! One question at a time!"

Sora's Shadow sighed.

"Base of operations?"

"She still in Hollow Bastion?" Hades asked.

Sora's Shadow shook his head.

"No. I've checked. About ten times."

Hades shrugged. "Then I don't know."

"Where might she head next? Is she planning anything? _Was _she planning anything?" He wasn't sure what to ask. "Is she—I don't know!—plotting revenger or something?"

It seemed stupid, but the thought was prevalent in Hades's mind, so…

"Well if she had the Keyblade brat to do it… hmm…" Hades tapped a finger against his chin, thinking. "Y'know it seems like one of those ridiculous things she would do."

_Okay. _A_ lead is better than nothing._

"Who all was working with you?" Sora's Shadow asked.

"Let's see… there was that slimy vizier from Agrabah, and that good-for-nothing Captain Hook from Neverland." Hades nodded. "Everyone else is dead."

"You sure?"

"I'm the Lord of the Dead! OF COURSE I'M SURE!" Hades flared red again, but it only lasted a few seconds.

"Right. Right," Sora's Shadow said. "Sorry. I forgot. You're just so easy to talk to that it slips my mind—the fact that you're a god and-"

"Cut the flattery kid."

Sora's Shadow nodded, sharply.

"Yessir!" he said. "You think I should look there for her? Him. Both of them."

"Probably," Hades replied. "And if she shows up around here, I'll, uh, let you know."

"Great!" He broke into a grin. "I'll be back as soon as I find him!"

**_xXx_**

Riku made his way around Hollow Bastion at a brisk pace, not really heading anywhere in particular. Just walking was fine. It kept his mind… sort of distracted. He didn't want to think about Namine. He didn't want to think about _her._ And if the walking wasn't enough, then at least he could count his steps and keep himself further distracted.

_Just three more days,_ he told himself. _Three more days and then everything can go back to normal._

_ I can go back to Castle Oblivion, and—_

Oh, but then he'd have to worry about what was causing Namine's meltdowns again. He wasn't looking forward to that…

He almost wished all he had to worry about was Saix again. Even seeing L would be a pleasure—he'd still try and shove his blade through her gut, but it would be a pleasure. Something he was used to. Something he didn't mind doing all that much.

Dealing with the Rebellion was easy. All he had to do was fight.

Dealing with Namine's meltdowns…?

That was—

Riku paused, going stiff. He thought he'd heard something. Footsteps. He'd definitely heard footsteps.

He glanced around, but didn't see anyone. Curious, and glad for a distraction, he did a thorough search of the area, checking behind every corner and every crate. From the looks of it, no one was around.

_ I'm… hearing things, then? _he thought, a little worried. His ears had never lied to him before…

But unless the someone who'd been following him was hiding up on the rooftops, they didn't exist.

_I'm… apparently hearing things…_

That wasn't a comforting thought.

He shook his head, and started walking again. He didn't get far before a group of Heartless popped up. There were three Neoshadows, and then two flying yellow heartless that he didn't recognize. Or maybe he recognized him. He wasn't sure. He didn't care. He went after the Neoshadows first.

That turned out to be a bad idea. He'd finished off one of the Neoshadows—being mindful his shoulder while doing so—when the distinct and all-too-familiar sound of lightning striking the ground reached his ears. He tensed. The yellow ones could control lightning.

_Kill the yellow ones first!_ Namine'd warned him.

He cursed himself for not remembering the warning sooner, and turned his attention immediately to the nearest yellow one. He wasn't quick enough. He'd stood still too long. The second bolt of lightning struck him.

It was like his heart stopped.

Riku stumbled forward, thoughts blurring, before his knees gave way beneath him and he crumpled to the ground. Just his luck, he landed on the bad shoulder. If all air hadn't left his lungs, he would've screamed.

Or maybe he did scream… he'd lost all touch with his surroundings. Everything was just a blur of white, Larxene's stupid laugh ringing in his ears.

"…iku! Ri…"

He blinked a few times, as if that would clear anything up for him.

"…an you walk?"

"Wha-"

"Riku!"

It was Yuffie, shaking him impatiently.

"I, uh-" he stammered, trying to sit up.

"The Heartless are gone," Yuffie told him. "But I can't _carry_ you! Can you walk or not?"

He stared at her, having a little trouble processing everything. Lightning always did that to him. But he was on the ground… in a lot of pain… the Heartless were gone… Yuffie'd saved him… But where had she even come from? She hadn't been here before…

"Were you… following me?" he asked, slowly.

"Yes! Now come on!" She pulled him up, throwing one of his arms over her shoulder. They got up, shakingly, Yuffie grabbing her weapon as she did so. Of course, since she had to carry that, she could only support Riku so well.

"Oh… so that's why I heard footsteps…" he muttered, a little grateful.

Why was he so out of it, though? His brain was foggy. Foggy and… it hurt a little. All of him hurt, though. It was the lightning, most likely. What else would it be?

"You _shouldn't_ have heard me," Yuffie mumbled, but dragged him forward. "Come on. We should probably have Aerith look at you."

Riku gasped with shock and pain at his first step. The way his skin pulled when he moved hurt. He clutched his chest, where it hurt the most, and was a little surprised to feel blood.

"The Neoshadows got you while you were down," Yuffie explained, urging him to continue walking. "But that shouldn't stop you from moving. Let's go!"

Riku nodded, and they made their way back to Aerith's house.


	171. Caught

Haha hello sorry this is late(ish) I've been having Personal Things to deal with and updating keeps slipping my mind. (Also my internet's wonky so I'm uploading this now before it goes out again and makes this even later ahahasldklasjf)

* * *

><p>Vexen stepped out of the dark corridor and immediately went to the desk. He opened the… second drawer, was it? Ah, yes! There was the external. He pocketed it, and then shifted to the computer, sighing a little.<p>

_Well, that was easy,_ he thought to himself. _Though since it was so easy, I don't see why _anyone_ couldn't have just done it. What was the purpose of sending me, exactly? For a task so little? Ridiculous._

_ I know I'm supposed to look at the computer, too, but the original plan was just for me to grab the external. Anyone could've done that. It took me two seconds._

_ They probably just wanted to send me because I'm expendable…_

He jiggled the computer mouse, waking the computer up. It demanded a password.

"Right," he said, making sure his headset was turned on. "Did you say you know what the password was, 7?"

"Mm…" 7 said, on the other end. "Caps lock."

"What?"

"Trust me. Caps lock."

"Okay…"

Vexen figured it was best not to question.

"H, Y, U, and the numbers: 8, 7, 6," 7 said, slowly.

"8… 7, 6…" Vexen repeated, typing them in. "And then?"

"Caps lock. It should be off."

"Got it."

"G, t, y, and the numbers: 6, 5. That's it."

_Odd password,_ Vexen couldn't help but think. He hit the ENTER key. "Oh! It worked."

"That's a relief," 7 muttered. "I had a few other guesses, but there was no telling if any of them were right."

"Is she logged into the Program?" Alpha asked.

"Hold on…" Vexen muttered, figuring out how to navigate the computer. It wasn't at all like he was used to, surprisingly. Where did you even access… ah! "Yes! Yes, she is, thank goodness."

"Well, the last time she would've logged in would've been a week ago," 7 said. "And that should be recently enough that it didn't automatically log her off."

"Let's not question why she's logged on, and just be grateful she is," Alpha interrupted "All you need to do is change the passwords," he told Vexen. "If we have the external, we'll have the database."

"Alright, alright," Vexen said. "I'm working on it. Hold on."

_This is almost too easy, though, _he couldn't help but think._ We got lucky, sure, but… _

"Why hasn't anyone tried this before?" he asked "If changing the passwords was this easy…"

"No one's tried because R only… died recently," Alpha explained, a little hesitant. But with 7 listening in, too, of course he would be hesitant. "Besides, I wasn't even aware that she could access the Program from her computer until now! Though it is a little obvious now that I've thought about it…"

"But what about anyone else's computer?" Vexen asked. "Surely someone else could be careless and forget to log off—"

"We've tried," Alpha replied, impatiently. "What else do you think we send people to the World that Never Was for? The entire purpose for most of those missions _is_ to change the passwords. We just have trouble getting to a computer. Or logging on. This is the first time someone's been careless and _not_ logged off."

"Ah…" Vexen grimaced. That wasn't good. "I found where to change the passwords—but it requires the current password."

"Right." Alpha groaned. "This is why we've been hacking things. R didn't write it down somewhere, did she?"

"I don't see any papers on the desk," Vexen answered, but rifled through the drawers just in case. "Do you think she would've saved it on her computer somewhere?"

"Why would she do that?"

"For reference."

"Well, you're free to look."

Vexen turned his attention back to the computer, and pulled up R's folders, browsing through them. "The chances of the file being named 'passwords'?" he asked, with a chuckle.

"Well, I guess you can see if she happens to have one named that, though I doubt it," Alpha said. "If she was smart—which she was—she would've labeled it something random. Like anyone else would've done."

Vexen shrugged, figuring that was probably true, and clicked on a text file labeled "14". That seemed random enough. He was surprised when a window popped up. He frowned, squinting at it.

"NOTE:" it read, "The author suggests you read "14iURGENT" before you proceed."

It gave him three options: "Read 14iURGENT", "Proceed anyway", and "Cancel".

"What's this…?" he muttered, curious.

"Vexen! Don't get distracted," Alpha scolded. "If it's not the passwords, then you shouldn't mess with it. Besides, the longer you spend there, the higher the chances of you getting caught become."

"Fine, fine!" Vexen sighed. He was curious—the warning only made matters worse—but it could wait. He turned his attention back to the folders, leaving the warning box open. Maybe he'd come back to it later…

_Alright, if I were the passwords, where would I—_

"Oh," he said aloud, then laughed a little.

"What?" Alpha asked.

"Well, I just found a file labeled 'passwords'," Vexen replied, still snickering. What were the odds?

He could practically hear Alpha roll his eyes on the other end of the line.

"Anyway, there's two passwords in here," Vexen continued. "Do you have any idea which one is right?"

"One of them's probably the passwords for Deactivating," Alpha said, a tone of excitement creeping into his voice. "The other one's likely for the Program. It can't hurt to try both."

"I should change the Deactivating passwords, too, while I'm here?" Vexen asked.

"Of course!"

"Alright."

He copied the first password and put it into the box requesting the current password. He entered a password they'd already agreed on, and hit CHANGE.

"Ah! It worked!"

"Great! Now, for the Deactivating passwords—"

"In one second," Vexen said, pulling up the warning box he'd gotten earlier, and telling it to open the "14iURGENT" document. "I just want to look at something."

"Fine! You're the one putting yourself at risk, though, the longer you stay there."

"Mmhmm…" Vexen replied, skimming through the document. This was a lot of information to take in. "Xion virus, huh?" he muttered, scrolling back to the top and beginning his read through the document. He got about three sentences read before he decided it was going to take too long. "Ahha… this is a lot to absorb," he muttered, mainly to himself. "I guess I'll stick it on the external, and—"

"Don't you dare!" 7 shouted, startling him. "You have no idea if those files are infected or not, and while the virus is harmless to you, it is not to the rest of us, and I _cannot_ deal with another outbreak right now. Do not. Copy. Any files. From. Her. Computer. Got it? Don't even plug the external in. Take no chances."

"Okay…" Vexen muttered, a little disappointed. But, maybe he'd just go back later. Clearly no one came down here frequently, and at the very least, he could always—

Wait.

Were those footsteps?

Yes, those were footsteps, and that was the—

"Yeah, it was right down— Who are you?!"

Vexen cringed, glancing up. To his dismay and slight horror, none other than Larxene Replica L was standing in the doorway. Oh and 37. Those two were a set, it seemed. Vexen didn't entirely want to think about it too much.

He hastily started closing out of the windows, figuring it'd probably be _best_ if they didn't know what he'd been up to. "I'm, uh-" he began, but had a little trouble getting any more out. "Just looking at something, that's all. Don't mind me."

"Get out of there!" Alpha hissed.

_Just a second, I need to log off the computer! _Vexen thought in reply, seeing as saying it aloud would give him away. His hands were shaking, though. Oh, he needed to get out of there _soon._

"Uhuh, yeah, I don't believe you," L retorted, glaring at him. "There's something… off about you. Off and… familiar?" She grimaced, then shrugged and turned to 37. "37, _sweetie_, do you have any thoughts?"

Vexen tried not to gag. He didn't even want to—

Stupid computer. It needed to hurry up.

"I don't think he's even a Replica…" 37 says, slowly. He raised his eyebrows, turning to L. She mimicked his facial expression for a moment, though she was grinning slightly.

"Ah, well," Vexen began. He immediately formed a dark corridor—

—except he somehow didn't have time. L launched herself at him, pinning him to the wall before the dark corridor appeared. He didn't like the grin on her face, or the glint in her eyes. He'd seen those often enough, and knew they meant nothing but trouble for him.

"I was just looking," he stammered. "I swear. I wasn't—"

"Mmm_hmm_," L said, clearly not believing him. She snatched his headset off of him, chucked it across the room. Vexen flinched.

His heart was pounding. This was _not_ supposed to have happened. And he was _scared._ _Terrified,_ really. Not to mention that Larxene didn't quite seem to understand the concept of _personal space,_ and apparently her Replicas weren't much better.

"You know what I think?" L asked, giggling a little. "I think… you're from a parallel universe."

The air left his lungs.

"What? How did you—"

How could she _possibly_ know? How could _she_ possibly know? Axel? Knew. Xemnas? Probably wouldn't take long to figure it out. But _L?_ A _Larxene?_ He knew Larxene could be perceptive, but to _this _extent?

It was unthinkable!

Except here he was.

"What should we do with him, hmm?" L turned to 37, her grip on Vexen only tightening.

"I'm sure Xemnas will be pleased to see him," 37 responded, smirking.

L grinned.

Vexen nearly screamed.

**_xXx_**

"I think you'll be okay," Aerith told Riku, gently. "You didn't suffer anything worse than a few scratches, and those healed up just fine. Your shirt, though…"

"It's fine," he interrupted, before she could say anything. His shirt still stayed on him, despite being torn in a million places. So there was nothing wrong with it.

"Alright…"

"I just figured I'd tail him," Yuffie was explaining to Cid and Leon. "Make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Or leave. And he was just wandering around, muttering angrily to himself and stuff—I didn't catch anything he said, though!" she added, a little hastily. "I was giving him as much space as possible while still keeping track of him."

Riku wondered if she'd added that last bit just to keep him from getting angry or something. Not that he cared. Really. His head was hurting too much. Not to mention he was feeling a little sick, too…

"Then he stumbled on a group of Heartless," Yuffie continued. "And I know he probably shouldn't have been fighting, Aerith! But it was only a few of 'em."

"Mm," Aerith said.

"My shoulder's fine," Riku muttered, as she started fussing over it again.

"I figured he could get it handled alright, though, knowing how he is with Heartless," Yuffie said. "And I was gonna jump in and help him as soon as it looked bad! Totally planning on it. Except he was doing just fine. Well, until…"

She paused.

"Until?" Leon prompted.

"Well… y'know the yellow flying Heartless?"

"Yellow Operas?" Cid asked.

Yuffie nodded. "Yeah. Them. Well. Riku got hit by a blast of Thunder… and then he… collapsed. I jumped in right away and killed off the Heartless, but… I dunno." She cast a hesitant glance over at Riku. "I dunno if he's okay or not."

"Riku…?" Aerith asked him, tentatively.

He just shrugged, tiredly. "I just don't like lightning," he muttered. The sick feeling in his stomach was getting worse. His head was pounding…

"I don' see why tha—" Cid began.

"Shush!" Aerith scolded. "Now is _not_ the time to…" She shook her head, turned her attention back to Riku. "Are you okay? You look a little pale…"

He just shrugged again. How was he supposed to know if he was okay or not? He hadn't felt okay since this morning. He hadn't felt okay since he'd left Castle Oblivion.

"Maybe you should go lie down…" she suggested.

"I guess."

He got up and headed to his room, slowly. Each step he took was wobbly, and it only got worse when he started up the stairs. He had to take the stairs slowly, lest he fall.

"But I've never known anyone to jus' _collapse_ jus' 'cause they got hit," Cid hissed, after a few moments, trying to continue his conversation. Riku gritted his teeth and his best to ignore them.

"Maybe he's not used to it?" Yuffie suggested.

"Just being able to shake it off _is_ an acquired skill," Leon added.

"But I don' think he shoulda _collapsed,_" Cid said.

"Why don't _you_ try getting electrocuted a couple of times and _then_ tell me what I should and shouldn't have done," Riku muttered, bitterly.

At least, he _thought_ he muttered that. But the conversation stopped. And they were good and quiet for a while. He froze, every muscle shaking. They'd heard him. He grabbed onto the railing of the staircase for support. Should he wait? Let them continue? Or should he—

"Wait a minute!" Yuffie shouted. "_Electrocuted?_" She sounded horrified.

No. He should go. He shouldn't make himself deal with this.

Except now he had to drag himself up the stairs. He felt so heavy. His vision was blurring. What was going on? Why were his legs so shaky? Why did he feel so sick…?

"Riku!" Aerith called, sharply.

He didn't respond. He didn't want to talk about this. He just wanted to—

His foot caught on one of the steps and he stumbled forward, just barely managing to catch himself before he flat on his face. He swore, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to hold back tears.

What was _wrong_ with him?

"Here." Aerith was suddenly helping him up, and forced him to sit down on the steps. She shoved a bottle into his hands. "Drink it."

Her voice was stern, and he couldn't work up the energy to argue with her. He took a drink, and was immediately glad he did. The wobbly feeling he had was fading, though his head didn't feel any better.

"What was…?" he began.

"Cures all negative status effects," Aerith explained. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "I'm fine."

That wasn't _technically_ a lie. He certainlyfelt _better._

"Riku…" Aerith stared at him long and hard. "You don't have to talk about anything. I won't make you. But are you… _really_ okay? Lightning isn't any fun to begin with, and I can't imagine—" She broke off, covering her mouth with her hands.

He turned away, not sure what he was supposed to say. _This_ was why he never brought this up if he could avoid it. He didn't want to burden anyone. He didn't want to worry anyone. He didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry," Aerith said. "I said I wouldn't make you talk about it." She took a deep breath, and—

Were those… _tears_ in her eyes?

Riku's stomach plummeted. No. He wanted to scream at her. _No._ _He did not deserve this._ She did _not_ have to cry for him. He wasn't worth her tears. He wasn't worth anyone's.

"Do you- do you want anything?" Aerith asked. "I don't know. Hot chocolate? Tea? Or…?"

"I'm okay," he told her.

"_Really_ okay?"

He sighed. "…tea won't help."

"Okay." She squeezed his shoulder, gently. "Just let me know. Are you going to need help getting up the stairs the rest of the way?"

"I think I can manage."

She nodded and headed back down the stairs. He sighed, rubbed his head, and pushed himself up again. At least he was more than halfway up the stairs at this point. And whatever Aerith had given him seemed to have cured the wobbliness.

"Did any of you…" He could hear Aerith say, down the stairs. She broke off, though. No surprise, but it only made him feel worse.

"O'course we didn't," Cid replied. "He never…"

Cid couldn't finish his sentence, either.

"Oh goodness, I… I'm never using Thunder magic again!" Aerith said. There was a scrape of a chair that followed. She'd probably sat down.

"That's extreme," Leon countered.

"Well I'm definitely not going to use it around him!" Aerith replied. "That'd be _cruel._ Oh… I almost wish he'd mentioned something. Then I would've known…"

"I don' think you ever _hit_ him," Cid said. "I know you didn't. And I can't _remember_ you usin' any Thunder while he was around, either."

"Still… I feel awful."

"_You_ feel awful?" Yuffie asked. "I should've jumped in the moment those Heartless had shown up! Then he couldn't have gotten hurt at all!"

"Well, in the future, we should definitely avoid using any Thunder magic around him," Aerith said, sternly. "And that goes for _all_ of us."

"Protection spells on him when fighting Thunder-based enemies couldn't hurt, either," Leon added.

Riku paused, at the top of the stairs. He didn't know what to do. How to feel. He didn't want to be a burden… but he'd hardly even said anything, and they were deciding all this of their own free will.

Because they… _cared_ about him.

…right?


	172. Coward

hey look I'm a boring author's note

BUT YOU SHOULD MAYBE CHECK THE BLOG BECAUSE I POSTED INTERESTING THINGS? (also the ch172 tag on tumblr it's got a treat for ya)

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><p>They forced him to the ground, and Vexen yelped as his face hit the cold floor. He squeezed his eyes shut, though that didn't make this any less real.<p>

_They've dragged me to see Xemnas… _he thought, with dread. _This is the Round Room. Where Nothing Gathers. I have not missed it._

_ "_And what, exactly, calls for this?_" _Xemnas asked.

"We found him snooping around downstairs," L replied. "Thought you might be interested in him. He's from a parallel universe."

"Is he, now?" Xemnas didn't sound convinced. That was good. That could… be good, yes. "And how would you know that?"

"Because he's certainly not a Replica. And since he can't be _our_ Vexen—"

"How do you know I'm not a Replica?" Vexen asked, getting up and dusting himself off, trying to keep his dignity about him. It didn't matter that he was scared to death. He was going to push through it.

_This is the exact opposite of where I want to be._

_ But if I sit here and say nothing, I won't be able to get out of it at all._

"If he is, I don't recognize him," 37 said, quickly. "He looks nothing like any of our Replicas."

Xemnas was silent for a long moment. "Are you saying you're bothering me with nothing more than a Replica?" he asked, finally.

"I swear, he's from a parallel universe!" L said. "Even if he _is_ a Replica."

"Besides," Vexen added, feeling a little defensive. "I wouldn't give us Replicas too little credit, Xeha—" He paused. Cursed under his breath. There went his cover.

_Like any of the Replicas in this universe know his name is really Xehanort. And since I can't be a Replica, I'm obviously not from this universe, either… their Vexen is dead._

"Oh, yeah, he's definitely not a Replica!" Xigbar laughed. …Xigbar!? When had _he_ arrive—oh never mind… It wasn't worth it.

"Ah, but, how do you know I'm from a parallel universe?" Vexen asked, quickly. Maybe there _was_ a way out of this. "How do you know I didn't just fake my death?"

"I doubt Master Vexen had the foresight to _plan_ for such a thing…" 37 said, slowly.

"But there are Replicas that are unaccounted for, are there not?" Vexen retorted. "You have no way of knowing."

"No, I think I know a way," Xigbar said. "Tell me, Vexen, what did you tell me after I told you I wanted a clone?"

"I…" Vexen swallowed. "First of all, I w- corrected you that they're _Replicas_, not clones," he said, slowly, choosing his words carefully. If he slipped up with his words it wouldn't matter if his answer was passable. "Then I asked why, exactly, you _wanted_ one."

"Your exact words were 'One of you is enough Braig. I don't want two of you'."

Vexen raised his eyebrows. Well…. That was true.

"I… could've sworn I asked you why you wanted one first," he said, trying to sound certain.

"Well-" Xigbar began, but then paused. "Shoot. I could've sworn… Ah, but there's no way to be certain who's right, huh?"

Vexen let out a small sigh of relief, and hoped it went unnoticed. He'd stumped Xigbar. Good.

"Vexen," Xemnas said. Vexen shivered. He'd never get used to the way Xehanort said his name. It was like he was nothing all over again. "What were you most angry about, when Radiant Garden succumbed to darkness?"

Vexen's eyes widened. Was Xemnas really giving him such an easy question? He couldn't help but smile, because he knew the answer to this one. It only took one word.

"Ienzo."

"Are you _crazy!?_" Xigbar snapped, practically leaping out of his chair with his anger. "Any Vexen would've known _that!_"

Xemnas didn't seem too perturbed.

"What else?" he asked.

Vexen frowned. What else was there? He couldn't remember there being anything else… Nothing that'd stuck with him for the past ten years. Or however long it'd been. Was this a trick question…?

He was silent for a moment, mulling it over. What was the point of trick question? What would it prove? Unless they expected him to come up with something. Something which was wrong. Something that would give him away.

But even if he said there was nothing else, there was a chance he could be wrong…

He bit his lip, but finally decided.

"There is nothing else," he said.

Xemnas's satisfied silence and Xigbar's response of "oh!" followed by a dark chuckle was enough to tip him off that that was the _wrong_ answer. He closed his eyes, started running over his other options. He could fight. He could run.

He had no other option—besides letting himself get captured, like Alpha had discussed.

But Vexen would much prefer _not_ to be forced to work for Xehanort. Xemnas. Whoever.

"Are you saying you don't remember your Replica Program then, Vexen?"

"My—" Vexen began, but stuttered. His… Replica Program? Surely they weren't referring to… the current one. Had there been one back in Radiant Garden, here? How successful had it been? Regardless, that explained a lot of things, especially how advanced _this_ Program was.

_Because the Vexen here already knew what he was doing…_

Yes, it made perfect sense. He'd attributed the success of this Program to the advanced technology, but the fact that, apparently, the Vexen here had worked on more than one Program would explain a lot too.

It would actually explain _quite a bit_, now that he was thinking about it.

"Yup, that definitely isn't our Vexen," Xigbar said, satisfied. "He'd have talked our ears off by now about the fact if _we'd just warned him—_"

"I told you he was from a parallel universe," L muttered.

Vexen swallowed. Right. There was time to mull this over later. Right now he needed to figure out how he was getting out of this.

Ah… couldn't he just open a dark corridor—

"I don't think so!" L snapped, grabbing him by the arm. He looked over at her, exasperated. _How_ had she even known that he was planning to open a dark corridor? Or did he _really_ just radiate "I'm going to run now" vibes?

No, now was not the time to be worrying about it.

He summoned his shield and pulled away from L, knocking her back for extra measure. She shrieked and, predictably, threw a blast of lightning at him. He deflected it without a problem.

He didn't, however, deflect the icicle that hit his back. Not that that mattered. He stood still for a second, trying to figure out of that had really just happened. Then he laughed.

"Did you _really_ just shoot _my own element_ at me, expecting it to _hurt _me?" he asked 37 in disbelief.

37 frowned. Apparently he hadn't thought of that. Which was odd. Vexen could've sworn he'd at least programmed _his_ Replicas to be smarter than that. And he could've sworn that the Vexen here had programmed _his_ Replicas to be smarter, too.

Maybe there really was something wrong with 37's programming…

"Nice one, dumbbrain!" L spat, summoning her knives. Thankfully, Vexen was able to block those when she chucked them in his direction.

"Do you want me to do something?" Xigbar asked.

"Not yet…" Xemnas said, slowly.

Vexen cast a curious glance up at him. Why wasn't he sending Xigbar down here? Did he actually _trust_ 37 and L to be able to handle it? Though, Vexen admitted, fighting Larxenes was always a pain, and having 37 around wasn't helping matters. He was faring alright, but he wasn't sure how long he could last.

Vexen knew exactly what he needed to do.

He formed a dark corridor around himself before L could get any closer to him. He stumbled out into Castle Oblivion, making sure to shut the dark corridor as soon as possible.

"Vexen! You're back!" Alpha exclaimed, sounding a mix of surprised and happy.

Vexen just nodded, a little shaken. "Here." He dug the external out of his pocket and tossed it to Alpha, before sitting down on the ground, banishing his shield. "By the way… Xemnas knows I'm here and I wouldn't be surprised if he'll send Xigbar to capture me in about ten minutes. Or seconds."

Alpha chuckled a little. "Vexen, I'm sure you're alright, at least for now."

"You underestimate Xemnas's desire and Xigbar's abilities."

"If it's really a problem," Alpha sighed. "Then just go back to the other universe. Nothing's stopping you, I suppose. And what are the chances of them finding you there?"

"Uhm…" Vexen shrugged. He had no clue. But if Xemnas was really determined to find him… "I- I think I'll stay," he panted, feeling exhausted now that the adrenaline had left him. "At least until Riku gets back."

"Your decision," Alpha said, shrugging. "Ah, by any chance, do you remember what the password for the Deactivating portion of the Program is?"

Vexen shook his head. "I only got one look at it, and have since forgotten it in all the excitement. I'm sorry."

"That's fine," Alpha assured him. "We've now made it so they can't create or edit Replicas. And we can. Plus—" he held up the external "—they don't have the database anymore, either. I say the mission was successful."

"That makes one of us…" Vexen muttered.

**_xXx_**

"You _idiots!_" Xigbar shouted, once the obviously-not-from-this-universe Vexen had left. Why had Xemnas trusted those two lousy Replicas to deal with it?

"Oh great, look what you let happen!" the Larxene—L, was she? Or P maybe? Somewhere in that portion of the alphabet—screamed, rounding on the Vexen. 37. Xigbar remembered him. "You let him slip away!"

She looked about ready to smack him, and he flinched, as if expecting her to.

"It wasn't entirely…" he began, but never finished. "We can go after him!" he said, turning his attention to Xemnas. "I'm sure it won't be—"

"No," Xemnas interrupted. "I will send someone else. Xigbar?"

Xigbar rolled his eyes. "I don't _wanna_ go!" he protested. He had more important things to do than track down this Vexen. He… had things. To do. He couldn't name any of them off the top of his head but he had things he needed to do. "Send Flamesilocks!"

"You mean Axel?" L spat, but 37 shushed her very quickly.

"Fine," Xemnas said. "Go fetch him for me, will you? And maybe bring Roxas, too. I think it's time to give him a… _special_ mission."

Xigbar raised his eyebrows, curious and not quite trusting the small smile on Xemnas's face. That either meant bad things or incredibly good things. Or both at the same time.

Well, there was nothing to do but find out.

**_xXx_**

"Is Riku going to stay in bed all day again?" Yuffie asked, as she started rummaging around the fridge for lunch food.

"Give him a break," Aerith said. "He had a rough day yesterday. And even if he hadn't, he's allowed stay in his room all day if he wants to."

"If he sleeps through a round of Heartless-"

"He won't."

Yuffie sighed and closed the fridge. "What do I want to eat?" she asked, turning to Aerith.

Aerith shrugged. "Why would I have any idea?"

Yuffie sighed, but shrugged, too. "You plan on making lunch for Leon and Cid?" she asked, after a moment.

"Not… until they get back," Aerith replied. There was no telling how soon they'd be back from fixing up the town. They usually stopped back for lunch, but they'd only left an hour ago, so the chances of them being back for lunch soon were unlikely.

Yuffie sighed again, and opened the fridge for a second time. Aerith returned her attention back to the book she was reading.

_THUD!_

Aerith looked up, jumping slightly. Yuffie closed the fridge, eyes wide. Aerith slowly frowned. That sounded like it came from… upstairs? She marked her book and got up. Yuffie was already taking the stairs two at a time.

"Riku's collapsed again!" Yuffie shouted, sounding a little panicked.

Aerith jumped the last three steps and hurried to Riku's room.

Riku was on the floor, curled up with his knees to his chest and his arms covering his head. His face was scrunched with some unpleasant emotion, his eyes squeezed shut. Aerith slowly knelt down next to him, wondering what, exactly, she should do.

"Uhm," Yuffie said, clearly uncomfortable and at as much of a loss as Aerith was.

"Go get my med-kit," Aerith said, after a moment. "I… might need it."

Yuffie nodded and was off.

Aerith let out a long breath.

"Riku?" she asked, gently.

He didn't respond. She reached out to feel his forehead, but the moment her fingers touched his skin, he grabbed her by the wrist and twisted her arm away from him.

"Don't. Touch. _Me._"

The malice in his voice was clear, though he hadn't otherwise moved. Aerith stayed very still, trying to calm her breathing. Overreacting would do her no good. Being scared would do her no good. She wouldn't normally believe Riku'd hurt her—or anyone he knew personally without having been provoked—but the malice in his voice and the grip he had on her was making her suddenly think otherwise.

_It's a defensive reaction,_ she told herself. _That's all. He's not going to hurt you._

"Okay," she said. "I won't. You can let go of me, Riku." She swallowed, and then added. "I'm not going to hurt you."

For a second she was sure it hadn't worked, but then his grip loosened and his arm fell to his side.

"I'm sorry…" he mumbled, slowly clutching his head again. "Namine… I can't… wh-what good am I if I can't protect you?"

Aerith stared at him, not quite sure what to say. If she should say anything.

"Is he okay?" Yuffie asked, coming in the room and handing Aerith the med-kit.

"Uhm… I don't…" Aerith sighed. She had no clue. He clearly hadn't collapsed for medical reasons. And even then, she wasn't sure how she'd deal with it when he was so resistant to being touched right now. "I don't know," she said.

"Should I go?"

"I don't think it matters."

"Okay."

Yuffie slipped out anyway, though, and Aerith moved so she was sitting in a more comfortable position. There was nothing she could think of doing but sitting here and waiting for him to… recover.


	173. The Binding

Ah there's a chapter in ASAS (ch56) that ties in with this a little. If you're interested.

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><p>He thought he knew why his head hurt.<p>

_"Riku, don't listen to what your heart is telling you-"_

Hadn't this happened before?

_"—it's only telling you lies."_

Why wouldn't the memory stop?

_"Y'know she was lying, right?"_

He almost wanted to believe it…

_ "It's all she's good at, anyways."_

Better yet, he wanted this torture to stop.

_"...the girl you're dying to keep safe. The girl you love-"_

He just wanted it to stop.

He wanted to curl in on himself until it all went away.

He wanted to…

But what was that? Something else. Besides the memory. Pulsing at the back of his mind. No. Not pulsing. _Screaming_.

_ "Please, that's three today. That's more than—"_

_ "NO! I need to-"_

_ "Namine!"_

What? What was… was she… she was hurting. He could feel it. Pounding in his skull, tearing at his chest, burning in his mind. Some good he was, at keeping her safe.

_"I won't let them do this!"_

But she was…

_"You don't love me."_

No.

He was imagining things.

He was…

…on the ground.

When had he gotten there?

He sat up, quickly, only to yell in pain. His shoulder didn't like being moved that way, apparently.

"Careful!" Aerith warned.

...Aerith!?

He turned to look at her, a little confused. How long had she been there? How long had _he_ been _here?_ What?

He grabbed his shoulder, mainly out of habit, but Aerith smacked his hands away.

"Let me look at it," she said, firmly. After a few seconds of near-agonizing pain, something in his shoulder popped, and Aerith let out a long breath of annoyance. "You must've fallen on it when you collapsed. It was out of place again."

"C-collapsed?"

"Yes. Your shoulder's back in place now." Aerith put her hands in her lap, sighing. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"…my head is on fire."

"I can give you a panacea. That might help."

Riku took the bottle from her and downed it without question. It only dulled the pain, but he supposed that was enough. At least the memories had stopped. Kind of.

"Do you have anything to stop memories?" he asked.

"No…" She frowned. "Why… would you want something like that?"

"I just…" he shrugged. "Ah, no reason," he mumbled.

Aerith didn't look convinced, but didn't press the matter.

"I guess… I should head downstairs and make lunch," she said. "I'm… assuming you don't want any."

He shook his head.

"Do you want to come down anyway? Maybe help out or something?"

"Uhm…"

Well, any distraction was welcome, at this point, so.

"Yeah, why not?"

**_xXx_**

He was here for other reasons. Really. He'd just gotten a lead on Sora, and had come to talk to Kairi. Because… he hadn't talked to her in a while. And he wanted to see her again. Tell her that he was getting closer to find that "friend" of his. Getting closer to finding Sora.

Not that he'd mention Sora. But maybe he'd tell her not to worry.

Though… finding Sora meant dragging him into darkness—the charade had gone on long enough at this point—which meant Kairi wouldn't see him again. Right.

He came up to her campsite. She and Tifa were both asleep, not far from a long-dead fire. He guessed he'd just… wake Kairi up. Ask her to go on a walk with him. Or—

His heart thudded. Now that he was looking at her… He didn't know what it was. But suddenly he just wanted to wrap his hands around her neck and choke the light out of her. Strangle the hope from her eyes. Squeeze the breath from her lungs.

She was the only thing holding Sora up.

She was the only thing standing between Sora and his fall into darkness.

She was the only—

No!

He held himself back, only barely, digging his teeth into his lip, not that he bled, and the pain only did little to slow him down. His head was pounding, and it was hard to focus. He _wanted her dead_.

But he couldn't.

She was Sora's only anchor in this world.

Which made her the only tie that kept Maleficent from completely smothering Sora with her darkness.

Kairi was the only thing keeping Maleficent from doing _his_ job.

Because if Sora was going to fall into darkness, it would be by _his_ hand, not the hand of that filthy _witch!_

He tried to tell himself that. To calm himself down.

But he couldn't hold himself back. He wasn't tame. Not without purpose. Not without Sora. It was rage in his blood and fire in his mind, burning every thought that didn't involve crushing the life out of Sora's_ precious_ light.

And the next thing he knew, he was on top of her, straddling her, hands pressed against the ground on either side of her, fingers curling into the grass instead of around her neck.

He really shouldn't…

He…

Damn, she was beautiful. Even in the darkness that surrounded them, she practically radiated light. Her hair fell perfectly to frame her face. Her soft features. Light wasn't supposed to be beautiful, but oh, she was. She was beautiful in every way, her body warm beneath his…

It was more than rage he was fighting back, now. It was desire. He'd deny it all he could, but he _wanted_ her. He _wanted_ her, so bad.

She was light and he was darkness and he wanted her tainted until she was black as night.

And the desire was pounding through him just as maddeningly as the rage had. He wasn't tame. No shadow was without purpose.

He lacked conviction.

And the desire was growing stronger.

He could choose. Right now. Choose her, and abandon Sora and everything else. No more job, no more striving to drag Sora into darkness, no more reigning his desires so they couldn't interfere with his purpose. No more forcing himself to live like his existence mandated.

He could _have_ her, if he really wanted to take her.

But something pulled on his chest, and his vision blurred. He had to hold back a cry of pain, nearly collapsing because of it. Something was raging through his head. His _body._ It wasn't rage. Not desire. Not pain. Not longing. Not any emotion he was used to feeling.

It was _disgust._ _Horror_. At _himself._ He suddenly felt despicable. Cripplingly awful. The thought of being looked down on crushed him so hard he thought he was going to puke.

He didn't want to feel this way.

He didn't want to be looked down on by _him_, of all people.

And now he _did_ hate himself.

Because since when did _Sora's_ opinion of him matter? How would Sora even _know?_ The bond between them had been broken. Sora had no way of knowing what was going on right now.

But there was no denying the thoughts rushing through him that most clearly belonged to Sora. They pounded through every inch of him, searing themselves into his skin. Disgust. Horror. Hatred—no. Not hatred. Pity. _Disappointment_.

And suddenly Sora's Shadow couldn't breathe.

He clutched his chest, trying to force the air back into his lungs. Sora's opinion did _not matter._

Not to him.

Never to him.

But when everything cleared, and he found himself inches from Kairi's face, his arms just barely holding him up, hands miraculously braced on the ground and not on her body, he felt no desire. No lust. Not at the feel of her warm breath against his mouth. Not at the feel of the electricity between their skin. All he felt was emptiness, and he immediately moved so he was off of her.

"You're lucky," he spat. "I need you unharmed. Untainted."

That was a lie.

But he'd do everything he could to convince himself that the only reason he decided to leave her be was _this_ reason. No other reason.

"You are his only anchor." He wanted to lean close. Hiss the words in her ear. But the thought of being any closer to her burned him. "You are his only link away from that filthy witch, and I need that."

In his heart, he knew better.

He didn't leave her be because he still needed her.

He left her be because Sora would've.

He left her be because Sora's disappointment in him was consuming, and he wanted anything to not have to feel it.

He left her be because their bond had not been broken; it'd been strengthened.

And if he didn't know better, he'd say he was Bound.

**_xXx_**

"So I guess you're heading home tomorrow, huh?" Yuffie asked. She was busy doing something in the kitchen.

"Not technically home," Riku mumbled. He was sitting at the dining room table, fiddling with a fork that Yuffie had left sitting there.

"Day after tomorrow, actually," Aerith corrected. She was… also in the kitchen. Figuring out lunch for Cid and Leon, had she said was doing?

"Well, if you're leaving so soon, then I guess now's as good of a time of any," Yuffie said, setting a plate down on the table in front of Riku.

He glanced up at her, confused, dropping the fork. "Uhm…" He shifted his attention back to the grilled cheese sandwich now sitting before him. He swallowed. Right… how to tell her that he particularly didn't want it?

"Just try a bite!" Yuffie sat down across from him. "Please? If you don't like it, we can make Cid eat it."

Riku sighed, but, not having the energy to get into an argument with Yuffie, he took a bite of the sandwich. It actually wasn't half bad.

"What do you think?"

"I… uhm, it's good," he said. "It's, uh, really good?"

Yuffie missed the tone of confusion in his voice, and just burst into a grin. "Yay! I made it just for you."

"What'd you put on it?" Aerith called from the kitchen.

"Swiss cheese and pastrami," Yuffie replied, seeming to get uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I mean, it's going to go bad if no one eats it! And Riku doesn't seem to care!"

Aerith didn't reply. Riku slowly took another bite of his sandwich.

"So, what are you gonna do when you go back?" Yuffie asked.

Riku shrugged, swallowed. "Uhm, depends on the results of the experiment, really," he said. "If my absence didn't seem to have an effect on her meltdowns, then I don't know. We might run the test again to be positive, or we might just wait until we have a better way of determining this. If the results are inconclusive, then I guess we'll do something similar."

"And if your absence did have an effect…?"

Riku shrugged again.

"Well, then I guess I'll figure out how we're gonna stay separate," he said. "I mean, I can't leave Castle Oblivion, because I'm still needed there, but Namine could go somewhere. I guess."

Yuffie raised her eyebrows. "Is she going to be okay with that?"

"I… I dunno." Riku sighed and rubbed his head, setting the sandwich down. If the argument they'd gotten into before he left was any indication, the answer to that was no. No, she wouldn't be okay with it. "I guess we'll have to talk about it."

Except he knew that wasn't going to happen.

He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Maybe… maybe we'll wait," he muttered. "'Til the Rebellion's over. Then- then we'll worry about. Then we'll have… a better idea of what's going on, and maybe she'll have… have warmed up to the idea… or…"

Yuffie stared at him. He flopped back in the chair, at a loss.

"I don't know," he said. "We'll have to talk about it, I guess. If anything… I guess I will just wait until the Rebellion's over… then deal with it. I mean, at worst, I just… leave her. There are plenty of worlds. I wouldn't mind living on the move."

"I don't think Namine'd be too happy about that…" Yuffie said, slowly.

He shrugged. It didn't matter. Her safety came before her happiness.

"I promised I'd get rid of everything that was hurting her. That never excluded myself."

Yuffie didn't say anything.

"Are you sure you want to leave her, though?" Aerith asked.

Riku didn't get a chance to answer. The front door slammed open, an angry Cid making his way in, followed by a disgruntled Leon.

"If you'd just let me look at it—"

"Tha' house is gonna collapse by the time you're done 'lookin' at it'! We need teh get repairs done, and we need teh get 'em done _now!_"

Aerith gave one last look at Riku before heading to go figure out what they were yelling about.

Riku just sighed, picking the crust off his sandwich, having lost his appetite.

He just wanted her safe. Why was that so hard to understand?


	174. Love

this is slightly late but only slightly ah BUT YES FINALLY THIS CHAPTER

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><p>"Riku, can you come help me with the dishes?"<p>

Riku looked up from his book—he still hadn't finished it yet—and glanced into the kitchen. Aerith was busily filling the sink and stacking the dirty dishes so they were neat and organized. That was normal enough, though the request wasn't, from the feel of things. In fact, judging by the fact that Yuffie's eyes went wide with shock and Leon froze, the request wasn't normal at all.

Riku frowned, now suspicious, but Yuffie was already leaving the room and heading up the stairs, nearly tripping in her haste. Riku turned to Leon, but he quietly got out of his seat and headed for the stairs, too, not looking up from his own book until he had to. Riku sighed, and headed for the kitchen, leaving his book on the table.

"Uh, yeah," he said. "Yeah."

It'd be rude to tell her no.

"I'll wash, you dry," Aerith instructed, plopping a stack of plates into the sink. She paused, then slowly turned to look at him. "You… can do that, right?"

"Y-yeah." He nodded, though still a little skeptical about this entire situation. "Yeah, I should be able to. Just because I haven't ever washed dishes before doesn't mean I don't understand the concept."

"You sure?" she asked, giving him a look.

"Positive," Riku said, firmly. "You wash the dishes, hand them to me, I rinse them, dry them, then put them away. Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Then we're on the same page. Ah… towel?"

"There should be one at the end of the counter."

"I don't see—oh. There it is."

Riku slung the towel over his shoulder, and then leaned against the counter, waiting for Aerith to scrub the first plate clean. Since they'd eaten spaghetti for dinner, it could take a while.

"So… Why did you want help?" he asked, casually. There had to be a reason. Though, more importantly, he was wondering why the reason made everyone leave the room so quickly. It was a pity Cid had headed up to his room right after dinner. He was usually very vocal about his thoughts, and maybe he would've said something helpful.

"I, uhm…" Aerith frowned at the plate she was scrubbing. "I actually wanted to talk to you. And I figured this was a good way. And… semi-private."

"Everyone headed upstairs," Riku told her. "I doubt they can hear us."

He wasn't sure if he was relieved or terrified by that thought. Though, he was probably more terrified of the idea that Aerith wanted to talk to him than that talk needing to happen in private. The talk needing to happen in private did make this slightly more nerve-wracking, however.

"Did they?" Aerith asked, absentmindedly, handing him the now-clean plate. He rinsed it off, dried it, all while she said nothing more.

"Where do plates go?" he asked. He sort of needed that information.

"Cabinet above you," Aerith replied.

He reached for it.

"Other one. And watch your shoulder!"

Riku grimaced, but there was only so much he could do about his shoulder. He had to reach with it one way or another, either to open the cabinet or to put the plate away. At least it didn't hurt. Too much.

"So… what did you want to talk about?" he asked. The sooner they got this over with, the better.

"I…" Aerith swallowed. She seemed to either be having trouble getting the words out, or finding the right words to say. "I don't think- I know you're just trying to protect Namine, but I don't think you should choose to spend forever away from her."

The words left her mouth in a rush, and Riku frowned.

"So… you don't think I'm causing her meltdowns?" he asked, a little confused. Was that what she meant? What else _could_ she have meant?

"I- I think it doesn't matter," Aerith said, firmly. "That, regardless of the fact you might be causing her meltdowns, you should keep spending time with her."

He stared. "Are you _crazy_? Do you _know_ how much they hurt her?"

"I- yes." Aerith swallowed a few times. "Yes, I understand-"

"Do you really?" His grip on the towel tightened, anger burning in him. "Have you seen her cry, tear out her hair, scream, bash at her head because it just hurts _so much?_ Have you held her through one, trying to comfort her as she trembles and squirms and sobs? Have you sat with her, through the restless sleep that follows, trying to be strong even though you know what's going through her head—" His voice cracked slightly. "The nightmares that _you_ run away from but _she_ can't?"

"Well… no…"

"Then you _don't _know," he said. "I do. And I will do anything to stop them."

"I…" Aerith sighed. "I understand that. But… can you just hear me out? That's all I ask. That you listen what I have to say. In the end the choice is yours and I can't change that."

Riku sighed, too. He could tell her no. Leave the conversation here. Where he wanted it. But there was something about her tone. The desperation in her voice now, and the way she'd _cried_ for him the other day…

He didn't want to be told what to do. But he wanted to hear what she had to say, for some reason.

"Alright," he said, quietly. "Why do you think this is a bad idea?"

"Because…"

She handed him the next plate. He took it, rinsed it, dried it, waiting for her to finish that sentence.

"Because refusing to ever see her again is stupid!" Aerith nearly shouted, her voice shaking. She immediately covered her mouth with a hand, made a face, and then started scrubbing the next plate with a fierce determination. "I- forgive me for shouting," she muttered. "I'm just… I'm not sure you understand what you're agreeing to."

"I'm agreeing to stop her meltdowns," Riku replied, laughing a little, as he put the plate away.

"But do you know what you're giving up?"

Riku paused, hand on the handle of the cabinet. His fingers tightened around it, briefly, and he closed it with perhaps more force than was necessary. Of course he knew what he was giving up. He was trading seeing her for her safety. Why did Aerith think he didn't know that? Hadn't he made it clear enough that he was only agreeing to leave Namine to protect her, and not for any other reason? Because he didn't want to leave her. But he would if it meant keeping her safe.

"Maybe I don't," he said, chuckling, bitterly. "Why don't you enlighten me?"

Aerith didn't look at him. He bit his lip, knowing he'd been a little sharp with her. Sharp and sarcastic.

But what did she know about him?

"You're… giving up a life with her in it. That's what you're giving up."

Riku chuckled, dryly. Like he didn't know that. Of course he did. But why did it upset Aerith so much? Because she didn't want to see them separated? Why? Why did she care about his life at all?

Had… Namine put her up to this?

No. No, that was silly.

He took the next plate Aerith handed him and dried it off, slowly. He should say something. Tell her that of course he knew he was giving that up. That he really didn't want to, but, it didn't matter. Not if it kept her safe.

Except he didn't have time to get the words out.

"You remind me of Zack, sometimes," Aerith said.

Riku stared at her, _really_ stared at her, not sure how to respond. That was _abrupt._ And _random._ And who the heck was _Zack?_

She must've read his thoughts, because she laughed and said:

"He's, uhm, he was a good friend of mine. A very good friend of mine."

"Yeah…?" Riku said, slowly, putting the plate he was still holding in the cabinet. He'd never heard about Zack before… but talking about him was better than butting heads over whether or not leaving Namine was a good idea.

"Mmhmm!" Aerith nodded, happily, and handed him a glass. "Glasses go up in that other cabinet, by the way. The one you tried to put the plates in."

"Got it," he said, though he was still drying the glass and wasn't sure if he could put it away any time soon.

"And if you can't dry them fast enough, go ahead and just leave them on the counter," Aerith said. "They can air-dry. Or we can get to them later."

"Okay." Riku frowned. "How, exactly, do I remind you of Zack?"

She hadn't exactly specified…

"Zack can't- couldn't sit still," Aerith said. She paused, but only long enough to hand Riku the next glass. "Like you."

"I can too sit still!" Riku protested, laughing a little. But… why was she speaking in past tense about Zack?

"Zack loved fighting, too," Aerith continued. "Was a mercenary, even! And he did that stupid thing you do. Keep fighting even though you were injured. I had to drag him away from battles so many times…"

"Heh, I think I would've liked to meet him," Riku said. He spoke past tense, too. Because, clearly, Zack wasn't around anymore, whoever he was.

Aerith laughed, quietly. Emptily. She was silent for a long moment, eyes fixed on the sink, hands repeatedly running over the glass she was washing, though Riku was fairly certain it was clean.

"I- I think you would've gotten along well." Her voice cracked a little as she said it.

He didn't say anything. She silently handed him the next glass to be rinsed and dried. Then she smiled.

"The way you look at Namine sometimes reminds me of how he used to look at me," she whispered.

"The way I…?" Riku said, confused. Since when did he give Namine a special look?

"Oh!" And Aerith laughed, now. "You wouldn't see it, would you?" She sighed, a little wistfully. "All big grin and eyes centering on no one else… Oh, Zack was such a goofball sometimes. But I loved him for it. You couldn't faze him. He'd just take the world with a grin, because he saw the light in everything, and—"

She was rambling. Riku raised his eyebrows, studying her, not missing how her voice sped up a little once she got talking about Zack. Her cheeks were tinged red, and she was smiling wider than he'd ever seen her smile before.

And then it clicked.

"Zack's the boy in the picture, isn't he?" he said. "The one on the bookshelf."

Aerith nodded, slowly. "Probably. Which picture are you talking about?"

"The one where he was about to knock you over…"

"Yeah. That's him." She laughed. It was a little hollow. "He tripped right as Cid took the picture. And he did end up knocking us both over. I think- I think Cid actually got a picture of that! Not that it's framed…"

The smile on her face had fallen slightly.

"You were good friends?" Riku asked, taking the next glass from her.

"He meant the worlds to me…"

Riku sighed. Yeah. He knew that feeling. And he had an awful feeling he knew where this was going, too…

He opened his mouth to say something—to console her—but she didn't give him the chance. She was talking again. Smiling. Laughing like nothing was wrong.

"Oh gosh, when we first met-" she laughed. "Well, he was fighting some monster and he got knocked halfway across town! Landed right at my feet. I was on my way home with groceries. I ended up having to drag him with me because he was injured and was going to bleed to death with- uhm." She paused. Swallowed. "I had to heal him up. Least I could do for him."

"Mmhmm…" Riku said, finding it hard to care too much. It was… nice to hear her talk. To see her smile so much. But…

"Then we went to the market," Aerith continued. "He ended up buying me a dress. A _dress!_"

"Yeah?"

Why was she smiling so much? Clearly it was painful to think about Zack. Why would she keep talking? How could she keep smiling? He never would've been able to... Not genuinely. And he was fairly certain Aerith's smile was genuine. Forced smiles didn't look a thing like that.

"Not that it fits me anymore, but he insisted!" Aerith was still talking. Still laughing. What was it about Zack that made her light up so much? Was this what love looked like?

"—but I didn't have anything to go with it, so he went and bought a dress, too! I think I paid him back for the ribbon. I meant to. …did I?" She grimaced, handed another glass to Riku to be dried.

He took it, dried it, absentmindedly. Did he light up this when he thought about Namine? When he talked about her? Did his cheeks turn red? His smile widen? His voice speed up? Did he trail off every five seconds in reminiscence?

"He kept buying me hair ribbons, though!" Aerith clearly didn't care that Riku wasn't listening to her. Or she hadn't noticed. "He bought me this pink one—" she tugged at the one in her hair "—along with a blue one, and a white one, and then three more pink ones! I don't know what his deal was with the pink… I hardly even like the color…"

"What… what does this have to do with anything?" Riku asked, interrupting her. He'd love to sit here and talk about this for the rest of the night. _Really. _But… but she'd been so adamant about him leaving Namine being a bad idea. Why would she have changed the subject?

Aerith turned to him, stared for a moment. Her smile fell again. She didn't say anything right away, just silently handed him the next glass.

"Riku… Zack's dead."

He nearly dropped the glass she'd handed him. _What_?

"I _have_ to spend the rest of my life without him, and I don't want you to be condemned to that same pain."

But he hardly heard those words.

Zack being _dead_ was not what he'd expected. He'd expected it to be like… the other Namine… and…

But of course it wasn't. Aerith lit up too much when talking about Zack. There was no way she'd fall so in love with someone who didn't love her back. Only fools did that.

Only fools like him.

"I…" he stammered.

"You care a lot about Namine." Aerith obviously wasn't interested in talking about Zack any more, though. They'd moved back to him and Namine. "And she cares a lot about you, too. You shouldn't separate yourself from that. I know you want to keep her from hurting, but... by leaving her, you're only trading one pain for another. Do you know what you're giving up?"

Riku didn't answer. All words had left him.

"You're giving up a life with her," Aerith said. "Yes, it's painful sometimes, but all life is. You can't go through this life without feeling pain. Why would you give up a life of happiness and accept a life full of pain that never goes away. Ever. And Riku—"

She paused. Considered her words.

"Riku, _you_ don't see the way you light up around her. _You_ don't see the way you look at her. And maybe you haven't noticed that she looks at you the same way. _I_ have. And I firmly believe that if you have someone in your life who makes you light up like that, you should hold onto them. Spend as much time with them as you can. Because they may not be in your life forever."

_And you'd know that better than anyone else, wouldn't you, Aerith? _he thought, sadly.

"I- I'm sorry about Zack," he said.

She rolled her eyes and let out a long breath, clearly exasperated. "Riku, you're missing the point!"

His eyes narrowed. "Oh? That you don't want me to protect Namine because you want me to live the life you couldn't?" he asked. He wanted to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Aerith didn't need his bitterness or his anger. But he couldn't seem to rein either of them.

"That's not what I said," Aerith corrected. She looked away from him, shoulders drooping, eyes filled with sadness. "I- I was just trying to explain why I think this isn't a good idea. And I want you to live the life I couldn't have, yes, but not because I couldn't have it. Because you _deserve_ it."

He _deserved _it?

Riku laughed.

"No I don't."

"Of course you—"

"No, I- it's not like it matters. She doesn't even care about me."

Aerith stopped.

"What… what are you talking about?"

"Namine doesn't care about me," he repeated, setting the glass in the cabinet.

Aerith was staring at him like he was crazy. Her hands were still in the sink, but she wasn't washing anything. She was apparently so confused that she couldn't make herself.

"What- what makes you think that?" she asked.

"Well _she_ never did," Riku explained. "No one ever did. Why would it be any different now? It's not. I know it's not. She- she doesn't care about me. She never has." He shrugged, slung the towel over his shoulder. "She could never see past the lies and could never admit that it could be real. And she never cared about me. I was her rock but I was never what she wanted. She never wanted me."

He leaned against the counter, hands gripping the edges.

"Why would Namine? Why would she—I'm nothing. Nothing to her." The words wouldn't stop leaving his mouth. He wasn't even sure if he believed half of them. But he didn't want to say—no. He wouldn't. Wouldn't even think it. Wouldn't let it be true.

"I don't want her hurting and I want her happy but I can never have both because her happiness involves taking me out of the picture. Do you understand?" He turned to Aerith. Her expression said that she didn't. "I'm doing this—I'm leaving her—because I don't want to see the girl who means the worlds to me hurting. I don't want to put myself through this again. I loved her but she didn't love me back I don't want that to happen again I just want to get as far away from it as possible so I. Can't. Get. Hurt."

He took a deep and shaky breath, eyes fixing themselves on the counter. His knuckles had turned white.

_No._

He threw the towel to the ground, biting back a cry of anger, and then pounding at his head. Selfish. He was so selfish. It was despicable. How'd he lowered to _this?_ So low that he'd used protecting Namine as an excuse to protect himself. When in reality, this was all about him and almost nothing to do with her?

He was so _selfish_.

Aerith pulled his hands away from his head, firmly, then forced a plate into his grasp.

"Break it."


	175. Family

I'm not sure if this is late or. Uhm. Idk.

I ALSO AHVE A LOT OF FEELS ON THIS CHAPTER LIKE OH MY GRACIOUS I 'M GONNA CRY AGAIN

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><p>"Break it," Aerith ordered.<p>

Riku's fingers closed around the plate, and he stared at her, a little confused.

"What?"

"Break it," she repeated.

He wanted to. He wanted to, oh so badly.

But he also _didn't_ want to be as destructive as he'd always been. It felt so… wrong. So _disgusting._ Like he was still the scared little boy he'd been nine months ago, back in that wretched Castle in the other universe.

"I-" he stammered.

"Would you rather a glass to smash? We don't have any valuable ones."

"But-"

"Riku, please, break _something_ before you hurt yourself!" The desperation in her voice was painful. How could anyone care so much about him? "I don't care _what_ you break at this point, so long as it isn't yourself. I can replace everything later."

He stared at her a moment longer, then let the anger take him, and threw the plate to the ground. It broke into two large pieces, along with a couple of smaller pieces that skidded across the ground.

"Do you want to break something else, or should I get the broom now?"

He didn't need to answer. She was already pressing a glass into his hands. He threw it to the ground, too, and it broke into much smaller pieces, all of them scattering across the floor.

Aerith stared at him long and hard.

"Better?"

Riku took a few breaths, blood pounding through his head. He nodded. Yeah.

"A little."

"Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to keep breaking things?"

"I… I'll let you know if I need to break anything else."

"Mmhmm." The noise was somewhere between agreement and disbelief. He couldn't discern which. Aerith was already moving to get the broom and dustpan, so it wasn't like he could use her facial expression as cue, either.

"Here, let me get that," Riku said, holding out his hands to take the broom from her.

"Are you kidding?" Aerith laughed. "Like I'd let you around broken glass." She bent down and started sweeping everything up.

"I'd be careful…" he said, frowning a little.

"Oh, I'm sure," she replied, sarcastically. She was silent for a moment, but then she asked: "Is it because you think you deserve it, or just because you're trying to anchor yourself?"

"What?"

"You think I haven't noticed? When you get upset, you slap your shoulder. The _bad_ one. You hit the spot that you know is going to cause you the most pain." There was disappointment in her voice, along with some other emotion that she was clearly trying to hold back. She was doing a good enough job that Riku couldn't read it, but he knew it was there, threatening to break through. "If it's an anchor, I get it," she said. "I wish you'd find something less self-destructive to anchor yourself, but I do get it. Unless you're going to tell me you do it because…" She trailed off, clearly not wanting to say it.

"It's an anchor," he assured her.

"Be honest with me."

"It's… _usually_ an anchor."

She looked up at him. "And this time?"

He stared, not sure what to say, but wanting very desperately to lie. Except he couldn't. Not to her. Not to someone who somehow managed to care so much about him.

"I… I felt disgusting," he croaked. "I just… I felt selfish. _Despicable._"

"And what did you expect it to do?"

He shrugged, hopelessly. "I don't know."

If he had a reason, he'd long forgotten it.

"Okay." She got to her feet, discarded the glass. "Remind me to take that outside later. We shouldn't have broken glass sitting in the house."

"I can take—"

Aerith pulled him into a hug. He froze, his words stopping short. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to return the hug? Or…?

"I don't know what you've been put through, or what anyone's told you," Aerith whispered, her voice cracking a little. "But you _never_ deserve pain. _Never._"

She held him a moment longer, whispering what he thought was a healing spell. Probably to take care of any bruises before they formed. And maybe to reverse whatever extra damage he'd done to his shoulder over the past few days. Then she let him go.

"Okay?"

He nodded.

"Mm."

She smiled, a little awkwardly. "Was the hugging too much?"

"N-no," he said. "Just… not quite used to it." He laughed, a little emptily. "Namine's, really, the only person who—"

"Namine's the only person you've ever gotten hugs from?" Aerith asked, eyes wide.

"Well…"

Aerith clearly knew what the answer was, because she covered her mouth with her hands, gripping them tightly together. "I… I can't even…" she mumbled, shaking her head. After a moment she dried her hands off and headed out to the front room. "I need to sit down."

"Is it really that big of a deal?" he asked, following her.

"It's just, sometimes, Riku, I forget that you're not exactly… normal."

He chuckled, a little amused. "What's that supposed to mean? Besides that I'm a Replica and don't have a proper family."

"No, it means just that," Aerith said. She sat down at the end of one of the couches. "But I forget that not having a family also means you didn't grow up with your mom hugging you once a day or any of that sort of thing. Not that _all_ families are like that… but… You forget that not everyone's life is like yours. And when you're reminded, you feel a little awful for forgetting."

"Don't feel awful about it. Not for me."

He sat down on the arm of the couch opposite her. She leaned forward a little.

"Why not for you?" she asked.

"Because I don't deserve it."

"Who told you that?"

He shrugged.

"Okay, but what makes you think that?" Aerith said. "That you don't deserve anyone's worry or affection."

He shrugged again. "I dunno. I just know I don't. The only reason I'm worth anything is because I make a good weapon."

She stared at him.

"That's not- that's…" She laughed, like she had no clue what else to do. "Do you honestly believe that?"

He just shrugged yet again. Yeah. He did.

"Riku, if you- if you really think that I only let you stay here because you're a big help with the Heartless, then you're _dumb. _Yeah, you're a big help, but you're also my friend." She smiled at him. "And I wouldn't have let you stay here for an entire week if I didn't actually care about you."

"Yeah…"

"Riku, look at me."

He did. Met her eyes. She looked a little annoyed, but if anything, she was patient.

"You can tell yourself you don't deserve it all you want," she said. "But that changes nothing. You're still my friend, and I'm still going to worry about you, whether you want me to or not."

He laughed a little. It was nice to hear that.

"Now…" Aerith said. Her brow furrowed with concern. "What you said earlier… about… not wanting to get hurt again?"

"Oh…"

His face fell. He didn't exactly want to… talk about that… What they were currently talking about was a much… he'd much rather talk about that. Really.

"We don't have to talk about it now!" Aerith assured him, quickly. "I- I would be more comfortable if we talked about it before you went back, though. Because you're just going to shove it under the rug once you go back to Castle Oblivion, aren't you?"

"I…"

"Be honest?"

He sighed.

"Yeah…"

She nodded. "I thought so." She sighed, too. "I… I don't want to _make_ you talk, but… But I don't think it's healthy for you to leave it bottled up. Especially if it's bugging you so much."

"That's alright," he said. "I guess- I guess I should probably tell _someone_."

He wanted to ignore it. But, with his luck, he'd end up slipping and bringing it up again. To Namine. He didn't want her… didn't want to burden her with this. It wasn't her business.

"If you don't mind—"

"I'd never mind."

"Okay."

He nodded, wrung his hands, trying to pull his thoughts together. He shifted slightly so his weight was better distributed. He probably _shouldn't_ be sitting on the arm of the couch, though… oh well.

"Well." He cleared his throat. "In- in the other universe… there was…" He swallowed. "Another Namine."

"Right."

"And we… well, I suppose I should- I should say-" Riku swallowed again. His throat was tight. Where was he even supposed to begin? "We. We, uhm. You know about Organization 13?"

"Vaguely…" Aerith responded.

"Well. We were. Ahm. We were both working for them. Well." He grimaced. "She was being forced to, and I was created by them, so I knew no better."

"Okay."

"And… well…" Riku closed his eyes. Took a deep breath. The sooner it was out, the better. "I loved her."

He paused. The words hung in the air.

"She- she didn't love me back," he continued, his voice cracking. "She- she didn't even think it was real. My feelings. She'd- she could manipulate memories."

"Mm!"

"And she'd manipulated me mine. Or, given me mine, since I'd really only just been created. It was under the Organization's orders, of course!" he added, hastily. "But- but she said that meant my feelings weren't real. Because my memories weren't. But I know that's not true. I know what I felt. I _loved_ her."

"I'm- I'm sure you did," Aerith said, calmly.

His hands balled into fists. He needed to slow down. But the emotions were raging through him and the words kept spilling from his mouth.

"I did!" He was shouting, now. "I did but she didn't believe me! Or maybe she did. I don't know. I bet she was lying."

He needed to stop. He needed to do something to anchor himself before he said something he'd regret. His hand hovered near his shoulder, ready to strike, ready to ground him.

"She was lying because it's all she knows how to do. _Lying_ because she thought the truth would hurt me. _Lying_ because she _hated_ me, because no one in that damned universe cared about me, and I was a fool to think she did and—"

That was too far.

Aerith caught him before he had a chance to hit himself, though. Her fingers curled around his wrists, pulling his hands away and holding them tightly so he couldn't do any harm.

"Riku."

He hung his head, sobs shaking him, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"And I'm a fool to think Namine does either," he mumbled. "Why should she? If she knew- if she knew what's in my head. If she knew about my false memories then she'd doubt it too! She'd refuse to believe I loved her. That she meant anything to me. She'd know it was just Namine. The Other Namine. She'd know it was _her_ I loved and never anyone else. Because how could I love two Namines?"

He felt like he was going to puke. That thought was the worst.

"Riku!" Aerith said. "Riku, slow down, none of that's true!"

But her words didn't reach him.

"I can't bear to be separated from her, but I can't bear her hating me, either," he sobbed. "If I stay with her, she'll find out. If we don't stop the meltdowns, she'll find out, because she sees my memories and she can see into my head and I can't hide anything from her—"

"Riku—"

"I've _tried._ I've buried those memories as deep as I could, because if I couldn't reach them, then she couldn't reach them. But I've dug them up. I've let them loose. She's going to see and I can't—"

He broke off. He hated himself so much. He was supposed to protect Namine, but he was using protecting her as an excuse just to protect himself. It was selfish. It was weakness. No one but a coward would stoop so low.

"I'm so _selfish,_" he hissed. He strained against Aerith's grasp, wanting so badly to wrench his shoulder out of place again because it would hurt so much less. "I'm awful I'm terrible I'm—"

"Stop!" Aerith commanded.

Riku froze. He didn't have a choice but to. All his muscles wouldn't respond to him, and he couldn't make any sound leave his mouth, either. Somehow he could still breathe, even though, logically, that shouldn't have been possible if he was frozen in place.

"Riku, listen to me. I know you can still hear me."

He could.

"_None_ of that is true. You are not a terrible person because you want to protect yourself."

Her voice was firm, but it shook a little.

"It's an instinct, regardless of what promises we've made. We all want to keep ourselves safe above all else. It's in our nature."

That didn't really make him feel better, but it wasn't like he could tell her that.

"More importantly, Namine _does not_ hate you. She never would. It may be a little off-putting for her to learn that there's a second Namine in your life, I suppose, but to be honest, I'm fairly certain she already knows. And even if she didn't, you'd probably want to tell her yourself, because I'm sure she'd rather hear it from you."

_That doesn't mean I want to tell her,_ Riku thought. He'd say it aloud if he could make his lips move to form the words.

"I get if you're scared," Aerith said. "But people fall in love more than once, Riku. It happens. It'll always happen. Namine won't hate you for loving someone else. And you know why? Because she and that other Namine are two completely different people."

"But they're both Namine…" he mumbled. The spell was wearing off.

Aerith laughed.

"And that alone makes them the same?"

"She is a Replica…"

"Riku, I would think you, of all people, would know better than that! You're a Replica, but how much are you like the 'real' Riku?"

"Not at all," he admitted.

The spell may have worn off by now, but he stayed still. He was trembling, though, the sobs he was still trying to suppress shaking his body every few seconds. Aerith's grip on him had lessened—it had lessened once she'd Stopped him—but her hands were still around his wrists. He slowly moved his hands and gripped her wrists in return, grateful for the anchor.

"Then why would your Namine be anything like the other Namine?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"Because there's always a few similarities. And what if this is one of them?"

"It can't be," Aerith said. "I don't claim to know _everything_ about Replicas, but I'm fairly certain you can't program something like love."

"They managed to program it into me just fine," he said, bitterly.

"I thought you were certain that your feelings were real," Aerith argued, laughing a little.

"They were!" He looked up at her, a little angry.

She only smiled.

"Then why do you doubt Namine's?"

"I…"

But Aerith had him there. His feelings for the other Namine were real enough to him. Why should this Namine's feelings be any less real? There was nothing in her data that could dictate whether or not she loved him.

"But…" he whispered. "But what if she _doesn't?_"

"Oh, Riku, I- I highly doubt that," Aerith told him, half-laughing, half-crying.

"Really?" he asked.

"Have you seen the way she looks at you?"

He frowned a little, thinking about it. He'd never exactly noticed it _while_ it was happening, but, looking back—not even the way she looked at him. The way her body melted into his as he pulled her close and held her tight. The way she smiled at him. _Forgave_ him, so quickly. The way she hugged him. Held him close. Not as her rock but to comfort _him._ How she _painted_ _him a sky_. How she _kissed _him on the cheek. He could almost feel the spark of her lips, still lingering there. His heart skipped a beat at the thought.

Why would she kiss him if she didn't care about him? He may not have known much about kisses, but he knew that a kiss on the cheek meant the exact opposite of "I hate you". Especially considering how she'd flushed red afterwards, smiling like she did, and _oh_ he loved her so much.

"How am- how am I supposed to tell her?" he asked, laughing, helplessly.

"About what?" Aerith asked. "About how you feel, or about the other Namine?"

"Both sound as scary as hell."

"Hey!" She chuckled. "No swearing in my house!"

"Sorry…"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, though. It's not as hard as you think."

"If you say so…"

Aerith smiled at him, squeezed his hands, pulled away.

"You feeling any better?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Yeah."

He definitely felt _better. _Not necessarily _good._ But better.

"That's good."

"Mmhmm."

They sat there for a moment.

Riku swallowed.

"…Aerith?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I… have another hug?"

She looked at him, laughed a little, then opened her arms wide. "Of course you can! You can _always_ have another hug."

He hesitated a second, but went over to her. She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer, hugging him tight. He hugged her back, clinging to her, because it was so _real_ and he couldn't convince himself that it wasn't. Couldn't trick himself into thinking no one cared about him. Not when someone was holding him like this.

"And Riku?" Aerith said, quietly.

"Mm?"

He didn't look up at her. Didn't move. He didn't want to.

"If you… ever need to talk. Or a hug—" she laughed a little "—I'm always here. Whenever you need me. Okay?"

"Even at three in the morning?" he asked, chuckling.

"Especially at three in the morning."

He grinned. "You better not complain when I bang on your door, then."

"So long as you don't pop up right in the middle of my bedroom, I don't think I'll be complaining."

He burst out laughing, and she started laughing too. He had to pull away from her, he was laughing so hard. He didn't know what it was, but he couldn't stop laughing, couldn't stop grinning—he just felt _happy_.

"Hey, Riku," Aerith said, once their laughter had finally stopped.

"Yeah?"

"Y'know this family we've got here?" she asked. "Me and Cid and Leon and Yuffie?"

"That's a family?" Riku laughed a little. He was only teasing.

"Of course it is!" Aerith said, but she was grinning, clearly not too offended. "And there is room for more."

Riku's eyes went wide. He stared, letting the words sink in. Had he just been offered _a family?_

Oh, he had, and it made him want to cry.

"Namine too?" he asked, trying to hold back his tears. This was a stupid thing to be crying about. It wasn't sad at all. It was _wonderful._

"I thought you were going to leave her forever," Aerith said, plainly.

He smiled, weakly, knowing what she was doing. So they hadn't dropped that yet, had they?

"We'll see what the results are," he said. "Then me and Namine will talk about it."

Aerith beamed.


	176. Home

ahhh it's been a long day but I said I'd upload a chapter today so I am

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><p>"Should we finish washing the dishes?" Riku asked.<p>

"Dishes can wait," Aerith said, getting to her feet and slipping back into the kitchen. "I should drain the sink, but we can finish washing the dishes tomorrow. Or I can. It's no big deal."

"We can do them now."

Aerith just smiled, shrugged. "I don't feel like it, though." She wiped her hands off on a towel, having drained the sink and rearranged the still-dirty dishes. "You want some tea? Or hot chocolate?" She reached up into one of the cabinets. "Or I suppose you could have some more soda—Cid won't mind."

"Ah… tea, I guess," Riku said, remembering that he didn't quite like the taste of Cid's soda. "What for?"

"Just because."

"Okay…"

Riku got up and joined her in the kitchen, not entirely comfortable being left in the other room by himself. He waited until Aerith had finished pulling the tea bags out of the cabinet, so he wouldn't interrupt her, and then hugged her again.

She laughed, but returned the hug. "Can't get enough hugs, hmm?"

"That- that one was for you," Riku mumbled, letting go of her. "For. Uhm. Zack." He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I- I bet it's awful."

"It's alright." Aerith smiled at him, though it wasn't as wide as normal. "He's been- been gone a while now. I miss him dearly, but I'm… I'm alright." She turned the kettle on.

"You sure…?"

"Yes."

She seemed awfully interested in the teakettle, though.

"Aerith…" Riku said, slowly. "I'm… not sure if you should try lying about this. I know what hiding your pain looks like. Feels like."

"Fine." She sighed, turned to him. "Maybe I wasn't okay, a week ago. Maybe I'm not actually okay now. But yelling at you made me realize that ignoring the thought of him entirely just to save myself some pain isn't worth completely forgetting all the good memories of him I still have. Pain is a part of life just as much as anything else is. You just have to… learn to live with it."

He frowned.

"…this is another indirect lesson for me, isn't it?"

She chuckled, now. "If you want it to be!"

He just shook his head.

"Sorry about earlier, too," he said. "I wasn't exactly nice to you."

"That's alright," she assured him. "I wasn't, exactly, either. Besides-" she grinned "-what's a family if you don't get on each other's nerves every now and then?"

Riku couldn't help but grin with her.

He and Aerith ended up staying up for the rest of the night, continuing to talk about… things. Aerith apparently didn't need—or want—the sleep, so she was more than happy to stay up and talk with him. Maybe she decided that staying up with him was more important… He wasn't sure, but he couldn't say he cared either way.

He learned more about how they were working on restoring the town. Apparently everything had been going great—they'd restored the market and a few houses—up until the Heartless started showing up large amounts. Things got put on hold to deal with Heartless, but now that the Heartless levels had gone down, repairs were being picked up again. The main goal was to fix up more houses, so that more people had places to stay. Their _own_ places to stay.

In return, Riku told her about the Rebellion, and how things were going. He told her about Roxas. (She politely said nothing about the whole bringing-him-back-from-the-dead deal, but the look on her face was tight). About how the Organization maybe still wanted to kidnap Namine. About Namine.

Aerith ended up telling him more about Zack, too. He learned that Zack was not only a mercenary, but also made his living on bouncing from world to world and defeating monsters. (The idea was actually sort of appealing to Riku, to be completely honest.) He also learned that Zack and Cloud had been good friends, to the point where they played excessive pranks on each other. According to Aerith, some of the pranks ended… disastrously. Apparently, they—Zack—had broken her door once.

After the second cup of tea, their conversation slowly dwindled into something more serious. Riku decided—after a lot of hesitation—that he wanted to tell Aerith about Larxene. He felt he should. Well… no, he just wanted to. Namine was comfort enough, but he wanted to tell Aerith—his _family—_too. She assured him that she didn't mind, so he told her. Not just about the lightning, but about the taunts, and the things Larxene told him. That crying was weakness. That he was a failure. That bit of the conversation ended with a lot of hugging and Aerith telling him very repeatedly that Larxene was awful and that her words meant nothing and he shouldn't ever believe them. Ever.

He'd already sort of figured that out, but it was nice to hear the words from someone else's mouth.

After the third cup of tea, Aerith started crying.

"I just miss him so much," she choked, wiping her eyes.

Zack.

She missed Zack.

Riku wasn't quite sure what to do to comfort her, but he eventually ended up holding her as she cried, telling her that it was perfectly okay to cry and perfectly okay to miss him. It was all he could do, really.

By the fourth cup of tea—which Riku made and spilled a good portion of—the conversation had moved back to a lighter mood. Aerith was still a little shaky, and brought up Zack less, but she seemed… fine.

They never made it to a fifth cup of tea, because by that point it was morning and the rest of the house was starting to get up. Well, actually, it was just Leon. He was only mildly surprised to see them both up, and after a moment he offered to make breakfast.

"Is waffles too ambitious?" Leon asked, as he headed to the kitchen.

Aerith shook her head. "If you don't mind—"

"I can manage waffles," Leon said. "But if we want anything else, someone else is going to have to cook it."

Aerith made a face, granting him that. She turned to Riku. "Do you- oh." She caught herself mid-sentence, laughed. "You don't want anything, do you?"

"I… wouldn't mind some waffles," Riku said, shrugging.

Aerith broke into a grin. "Do we have bacon?"

"Uh…" Leon checked. "Yeah."

"Great! I'll go wake Cid!"

Aerith practically skipped off, taking the stairs two at a time.

"Were you two just up early, or were you up all night?" Leon asked, looking over at Riku.

"We were up all night."

"Right."

Riku frowned a little, but Leon said nothing more. Cid came down the stairs a few minutes later, pounding to the kitchen, grumbling something about coffee. Clearly, he wasn't awake enough for conversation.

Yuffie came trudging down the stairs not long later, tailed by Aerith. Yuffie was still in her pajamas, though she kept her mouth shut and didn't complain about being up so early, which came to Riku as a surprise. Maybe it was the idea of waffles and bacon that kept her from complaining.

After a few minutes (and a lot of Cid swearing), Leon announced that breakfast was ready. Riku moved to the kitchen, assuming he was supposed to get his own food. He didn't get far though, because Leon was frowning into the cabinet.

"Are we… missing a plate?" Leon asked.

"Ah, right." Aerith got up and slipped past him. "I need to take the trash out."

Leon slowly turned to Riku.

"Did she… drop another plate?"

Riku shook his head.

"No, I- I did," he said.

That wasn't the total truth, but…

"Oh." Leon made a face, but said nothing more, grabbing one of the remaining plates out of the cabinet and dishing up food for himself.

Riku reached to get himself a plate, but Cid forced one—already filled with food—into his hands.

"'ere," he said. "Now go sit down."

"Uh-" Riku took the plate, but didn't argue. He made his way over to the table, sitting down next to Yuffie, who was already munching on bacon. Riku took a bite of his waffles. They weren't bad.

Leon was the next to sit down at the table, followed by Cid (who had another cup of coffee, from the looks of it), and then Aerith. Out of the corner of his eye, Riku saw Yuffie reaching for his bacon, and he snatched it away from her before she could grab it.

"Yuffie, don't steal Riku's bacon!" Aerith scolded.

"I- I didn't even have a chance!" Yuffie protested, staring at Riku, eyes wide. "He- he snatched it away before—_how_ did you even?"

"I saw you reaching for it," Riku replied, smiling a little.

"_No one_ sees me."

"Well. I did."

Cid burst out laughing. Leon grinned, but covered it up by taking a bite of waffles. Aerith told Yuffie that if she really wanted more bacon she should just go get more, but Yuffie argued that that wasn't the _point._ Riku just chuckled and ate his bacon, finding it hard not to grin.

It wasn't long before Riku had to go back to Castle Oblivion. As much as he loved it here, he missed Namine. And he needed to go back.

"You'll visit often, right?" Aerith asked.

Riku smiled. "When I have time, yeah."

"Oh, and can you send Namine over? When she's free."

Riku chuckled. "What for?"

"I want to talk to her, that's all," Aerith said.

"'bout what?"

"'bout you!"

She was joking. He could tell.

He laughed, rolled his eyes.

"Actually, I mean it," Aerith said. "Family looks out for each other, and I can't do that if you're not here. So I'll make someone else do it for me."

"I… don't think Namine needs telling to look after me," he said, grinning.

"No, but I'd still like to talk to her."

"I'll let her know."

Riku started to form a dark corridor, but stopped. He hugged Aerith one last time.

"Take care of yourself," she told him, gently.

"I will," he said.

He pulled away from her, formed a dark corridor.

"And be careful of your shoulder!" Aerith called.

He was gone.

**_xXx_**

"Family?" Cid asked, a little surprised.

"What'd you two talk about last night?" Leon asked. His voice was quiet.

"Does that mean Riku's staying over more often?" Of course, Yuffie whined a little as she asked the question.

Aerith just smiled.

"Riku's allowed over whenever he wants," she told Yuffie, firmly.

"But callin' him _family?_" Cid laughed.

"What?" Aerith grinned. "Like there's not room in this family for a few more?"

No one argued with her there.


	177. The Reunion

AHH I'M SORRY THIS IS LATE I meant to get it up on Wednesday but I was! Doing things! Sorry! So so so sorry! esta aqui ahora perdon

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><p>Namine was sitting on the floor, papers and pencils spread over the coffee table in front of her. She was just sort of doodling; messing around with colors, testing out the new pencils Riku'd gotten her. She'd been drawing all week, sure, but she hadn't worried too much about the colors then. She'd been more worried about… well…<p>

But she figured she'd earned a day off. Riku was supposed to be back today anyway. Or was he supposed to be back tomorrow…? She'd lost track of time. But he was going to be back soon, and she'd done enough.

She'd done more than enough.

"Can't catch me!" Joseph giggled, jumping onto one of the nearby couches and then launching himself over the back of it.

"No fair!" Toby pouted, clambering onto the couch to follow him.

Namine chuckled to herself, grabbing a new piece of paper to sketch the scene out on. She didn't get far, though. A pair of arms slinked around her waist, and her heart skipped a beat, her breath catching in her throat.

"Riku!" she laughed, looking up at him.

He smiled, and she shifted so she could hug him back. Except once she'd turned, he picked her up, spinning her around. She giggled and clung to him, and he laughed, setting her down again.

He held her close, chin resting on her shoulder, sighing a little. She let out a long breath, resting her cheek against his arm.

"Oh, I missed you so much," Riku whispered.

"I missed you too," she mumbled.

She wanted to stay right here. Forever. In his arms.

But first…

"We should… go talk to Alpha," Namine said, pulling away from Riku. She couldn't help but smile a little. _She_ was excited to find out what Alpha's conclusion about this experiment was.

"Wait a sec!" Riku grabbed her by the hands. "I wanna tell you something."

She looked up at him, a little startled. He was gripping her hands tightly. Grinning. He sounded so excited. Looked so happy. She couldn't help but smile with him. It'd been a while since she'd seen him this happy.

"Okay," she laughed. "What is it?"

He grinned wider, pulled her closer. His mouth hovered next to her ear, and when he spoke, he spoke so quietly that his words were almost whisked away from her.

"I have a family."

And then he pulled away, grinning still, bouncing up and down a little with his excitement. It was almost like watching Joseph talk about… well… anything.

Namine laughed, not quite understanding, but it was nice to see Riku this happy.

"What?"

"Oh, I-" He shrugged, his smile faltering a little. "I guess it sounds a little stupid. But- but y'know how they're a family, over in Hollow Bastion? Aerith and Leon and Cid and Yuffie?"

"Yeah…?"

"Aerith said there was room for more." Riku was grinning again, the happiness returned to his face. "For me. And you."

She stared, a little caught off guard, as that sunk in. But after a moment, she smiled. Riku grinned so large that she thought his face would split in two.

"That's- that's great!" she said, excited. Excited for _him._ Excited to see him like _this._

But apparently she wasn't excited enough.

The smile fell from his face.

"It's stupid, huh?" he asked, sullenly.

"No! No, not at _all_, Riku!" She felt bad. _Awful._ It wasn't that she thought it was stupid. She thought it was _great_, especially if it made him so happy. It wasn't her fault she couldn't be as excited as Riku was about this. "It sounds _wonderful—_"

"Now you're just saying that to make me feel better."

"No, Riku, I-"

"I guess it is a little stupid," he muttered, grimacing. He was silent for a moment, but then he looked her in the eyes, a smile twitching on his lips again. "But, Namine, it's such a _wonderful_ feeling. To finally _belong_ somewhere. Not because you're needed, but because you're _wanted._"

Namine bit her lip, trying to keep smiling for him, though it'd gotten hard all of a sudden. It wasn't that it was a surprise to find he felt like this. That just didn't make it hurt any less.

Because he'd never felt wanted. She knew that. She'd been in his head. His memories.

He'd never once felt wanted. Never once felt loved. Even here—now—he stayed in Castle Oblivion out of obligation. Because he felt he was needed. Not because he felt like he was wanted.

Sure, she knew that wasn't true. That didn't change what he thought, though.

But if he'd found the love and the home he'd been craving over in Hollow Bastion, then she was more than happy for him. She was excited for him, _ecstatic_ for him. Why couldn't he see that?

"Oh, that _does_ sound wonderful…" she said, sighing a little.

"I hear a but…"

She just smiled, not sure what to do with him. Why'd he have to be like this all the time? She squeezed his hands, stood on tiptoe, kissed him on the cheek. He froze, looking somewhere between surprised and happy, and she giggled.

"It's _wonderful,_" she says. "And I am more than happy for you. But, I can't exactly… I don't understand what this feels like to you. Because I don't know what that feels like. I've always belonged somewhere."

He blinked a few times, probably still a little confused from her kiss.

"Where?" he asked.

"With you."

Now she couldn't help but grin.

Riku smiled back at her, but there was a pain in his eyes. Namine started to ask him what was wrong, but next thing she knew, his arms were around her again and he was holding her close.

She hugged him back, chuckling a little. This was random, but it was fine. They were in no rush. Because—even if she was excited about the results of this experiment—for the moment they didn't have to worry about it. Or anything.

They could have this moment.

She could take some time to enjoy this feeling.

Riku was right.

Belonging somewhere was a really nice feeling.

"Oh, by the way," Riku said, letting go of her. "Aerith wants to talk to you."

Namine raised her eyebrows. "About what?"

"She didn't say."

Okay…

"Well…" Namine said. "Later. We should go see Alpha about the results of this experiment."

They'd put it off long enough.

"Okay."

**_xXx_**

"So? What's your conclusion?" Riku asked. Namine squeezed his hand, grinning at him. For some reason, she was dancing a little, like she was excited. About what, though? About the results? What could be so exciting about them?

It was a moment before Alpha spoke. Riku watched him, skeptically. Even from where he was sitting on the floor, he could see that Alpha was tense.

"We'll, of course, have to try this again," Alpha said. He looked at his desk, not at them. "One experiment is not enough to determine the accuracy of a hypothesis."

Riku turned and looked at Vexen, who was—of course—sitting in the only available chair. Vexen's lips were firmly pressed together, and his hands clasped tightly in his lap. He was tense, too.

And between that… and Namine practically bouncing up and down with her excitement… and how hesitant Alpha was to admit the results…

"…what happened while I was gone?" Riku asked, brows furrowed.

Alpha cleared his throat. His eyes were still fixed on his desk. "Namine had… exactly… nine, meltdowns," he said, forcing the words out.

Riku jumped to his feet, eyes wide. "N- ni- ni—n-nine?" he stammered. He looked at Namine, who didn't protest, just shrugged. He turned to Alpha, who hadn't said anything else. Then Vexen—but Vexen wasn't going to say anything either.

"N- _nine?_" Riku repeated. _Nine_ meltdowns. That was _a lot_. "N- _ni- _Namine?" He looked at her, eyes narrowing with concern.

She just shrugged again, turning her attention to Alpha.

"That means we don't have to be separated, right?" she asked.

"Like I said, we'll need to conduct more experiments before we're absolutely positive," Alpha said, tersely. "There are… variables that still need to be taken into account, and—"

"What sort of variables?"

There was a slight smile on Namine's face as she spoke. Alpha just stared at her, frowning. Riku slowly sat back down, since no one seemed to want to answer him about the whole _nine meltdowns_ thing.

"Variables," Vexen said. "Like the amount of time you're separated. The distance." He waved his hand, vaguely. "Besides, an experiment must be repeated multiple times before you can conclude that the results yielded are in fact valid. _Especially_ when testing a new hypothesis. We have no way of telling if what happened this time was a fluke or not."

The smile fell from Namine's face. "Maybe _nine_ meltdowns was a fluke!" she protested. "But I still had meltdowns while he was gone. That's all we were testing for. Not how many I had."

"It doesn't matter," Alpha said. "We will still need to test this again. We can _assume_ that the hypothesis was incorrect, but we'll need to run more tests before we can be positive."

Namine rolled her eyes.

Riku turned to look at her again.

"N- ni-nine?" he asked, voice quiet. "Are you…?"

"I'm fine," she said. But she suddenly looked very tired.

Riku sighed. Then he frowned. "Wait…" he looked up at Alpha. "It's almost like they got _worse_ when I left."

"That's what the results would imply, yes." It was Vexen who answered. "But, according to Alpha, it doesn't all line up with previous data we have. Besides, the fact that we'll need to try the experiment again doesn't change. It'll take multiple tests before we are sure."

"Right…"

Riku looked back at Namine. She met his eyes, and sighed a little.

"We're done here, right?" she asked, addressing Alpha.

"Right," Alpha replied, sighing a little.

Namine nodded, grabbed Riku's hands, and got to her feet, pulling her with him. "Come on," she said. "I need to tell you something."


	178. The Revelation

I WOULD'VE HAD THIS UP SOONER BUT APPARENTLY I NEVER SENT IT TO MY BETA SO I HAD TO DO THAT FIRST. UH. MY BAD.

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><p>"What do you want to—"<p>

"Hold on. We need to get somewhere private."

Riku frowned, though he didn't argue, perfectly content to let Namine lead him through the halls of the Castle. They walked for a bit, before Namine finally stopped, letting go of his hand. Riku glanced around, wondering why they'd stopped here.

"Hey, this is… my corner."

"No security camera."

"Oh!"

Namine turned and smiled at him, though she looked a little distracted.

"So what'd you wanna say?" Riku asked.

"I- well…" she began, sighed. "Uhm…"

He frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"Not- not exact…" she let out a long breath. She was definitely bothered by something. "I… the meltdowns I had?"

"All n- nine of them?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"What… what about them?"

She shifted from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable about whatever it is she wanted to say. Her voice was quiet when she spoke. "Well, I, uh." She swallowed. "I… forced most of them, to be honest."

"You-" Riku blinked a few times, not sure if he heard her right. "What?"

He… can't have heard her right…

Right?

"I- I forced most of those meltdowns," she said, shrugging. "All except… maybe one or two?"

Okay. So he had heard her right.

But-

"You- you- n-n- _forced them?_" he finally choked out.

"Yeah."

He stared.

"_Why!?_"

Namine looked up at him, blinking a few times. "Because- because I didn't want to be separated from you," she said, voice trembling a little.

His heart was pounding, fists clenched, eyes fixed on her. Even though her voice trembled, she held herself confidently now, eyes meeting his, determination burning in them.

"I- I don't want to either," he stammered. He started to reach out to her, but then clenched his fists again. "But- but _forcing_ n-_nine? _Forcing meltdowns? Wh- why? Why, Namine? Why would you…?"

He trailed off, hopelessly, not sure what to say, all his words spent. He should've expected this, really, now that he thought about it. She was so stubborn. Not that it made this any less absurd. Or stupid.

"I already told you why," Namine said.

"But-"

"I _know_ you're not the cause! I know. And even if you were, it _doesn't matter._ I don't want to be separated from you."

"I don't either…" he muttered. "But… the meltdowns…"

"I _don't care_," she repeated. "I'd rather have a meltdown every five minutes than be away from you."

"But- but that doesn't mean you can _force_ them!" he shouted, all his frustration bursting from him. Namine flinched. He turned away, cursing himself. Stupid. Stupid, stupid. Why couldn't he keep his emotions in check?

"Well…" Namine sounded like she was going to protest again.

"Namine!"

He felt bad for shouting, of course, but this was ridiculous!

"I won't have to!" Now she was shouting. "Because we _aren't_ doing this test again."

Riku sighed. It wasn't that easy. Alpha—along with Vexen—was insistent that this test had to be repeated at least once. If not more than that. "But we have to-"

"Then you can bet I'll be forcing meltdowns again," Namine said.

"But you can't—"

"_You_ can't stop me!"

Riku paused. Namine smirked a little. He frowned, then opened his mouth to argue—

Except he couldn't argue. There wasn't… wasn't exactly a way to stop her from forcing meltdowns. Not when he was supposed to be in another world. All ideas that came to him involved coming back and seeing her face to face, which would, in turn, still sabotage the experiment.

He sighed, took her hands in his.

"Fine," he said. "It's not like… it's not like we have time for another experiment like that anyway, with everything else that's going on. And… and-"

"And technically, I'm fairly certain at least one of those meltdowns wasn't forced," Namine said, smiling at him. "So regardless of me forcing meltdowns, those results weren't going to say you were the cause, anyway."

"Right."

Namine's voice got quiet. "We don't _really_ have to run this experiment again, then?"

"No," he told her, smiling. "We shouldn't have to. Which I guess is a good thing." He chuckled, lowering his voice as he leaned closer to her. "I'm not sure if I like being away from you."

She blushed, giggling. "Heh, me too."

He grinned.

"Alpha's not gonna let this drop, though," she said, sighing a little.

"No…" he agreed. "I guess…"

"We just tell him no?" Namine suggested. "It's not like he can _make_ us do anything, right?"

Riku slowly smiled.

"I have a better idea."

**_xXx_**

"—believe we were trying to keep it that way," Riku could hear Alpha say, as they got closer to his office. "We'll have to ask Riku."

Riku opened the door. "Ask me what?"

Alpha looked at him for a moment, probably a little surprised. "I might have found another—relatively simpler—way to test for what could be causing Namine's meltdowns," he said.

"_Really!?_" Namine exclaimed, clearly thrilled. She about leapt through the doorway and into Alpha's office, dragging Riku with her, seeing as they were holding hands.

"You have?" Riku asked, just as excited, but not quite as expressive with it.

"Yes," Alpha said. "We acquired the passwords—and thus the full Program—while you were gone-"

"Thanks to me," Vexen interrupted, a smug smile on his face.

Alpha shot him a look. "You're lucky you came out of that alive," he said. "Besides, I thought Xemnas was supposed to come after you any day now."

Vexen's smug attitude immediately evaporated, quickly replaced by a glare. He leaned forward in his chair a little. "Just because he hasn't yet doesn't mean he won't," he said. "They're probably still tracking me down…"

Riku laughed a little. "You ran into _Xemnas?_"

"I got caught," Vexen replied. He leaned back in his chair again, refusing to look at Riku. "I got away, but they do know about me. Give it another week and they'll be dragging me off to restart the Program for them."

"Well, I won't stop them," Riku said. To be honest, he'd almost be glad if they did. Almost. Pity it'd require a lot of nasty repercussions, like Xemnas being able to make more Replicas…

"What were you saying about my meltdowns?" Namine asked Alpha. Riku rolled his eyes a little. She didn't _need_ to change the subject…

"Well, we should be able to use the Program to test for what might be causing your meltdowns," Alpha explained. "Provided, of course, the cause is something recorded in your data."

"Why didn't you mention this sooner?" Riku asked, tersely. If he wasn't holding Namine's hand, he'd fold his arms across his chest. Except… he _was_ holding her hand…

"We only just got the Program back," Alpha said. "Also, it requires putting her data where the Organization can reach it."

"Not that they can do much with it when they have no Program," Vexen muttered.

"Ah…" Riku frowned. He turned to glance at Namine. The excitement had vanished from her, too. He sighed, shrugged. "Well, I guess it's a good thing we've come up with a way to test them, then."

Alpha raised his eyebrows. "Have you…?"

"Yeah!" Riku couldn't help but grin a little. "I was thinking we'd both go to Hollow Bastion?"

"He figured since I had nine meltdowns, it might be Castle Oblivion that's the problem," Namine added. She leaned up against him, resting her head against his shoulder.

"You did say that you hadn't exactly ruled that out yet, didn't you?" Riku asked, turning back to Alpha, trying not to smirk.

Alpha sighed. "No," he admitted. "We haven't."

"So then getting her out of Castle Oblivion is a good idea, then?"

Actually, it wasn't hard to keep from smirking, with how much he wanted to _grin_ right now. He bounced a little on his heels. He couldn't help it. He was excited to go back to Hollow Bastion, even if he'd only left a few hours ago. But he wanted to go _with_ _Namine._ Show her those books he was reading. Sit at the dinner table and talk and… do other family things. He wasn't sure what—family was a new concept to him—but he knew one thing for certain.

His family wasn't complete without her in it.

Namine giggled a little, squeezing his hand. "Technically, I wouldn't mind taking a vacation in general," she said, smiling up at him. "It's not like it _has_ to be to test anything."

He looked down at her, meeting her eyes. "Y'know. I wouldn't exactly mind either…" he said. His free hand slinked around her waist, turning as she pressed her body against his. She traced her fingers over his chest, giggling some more.

"And it's not like anyone can keep us here," she whispered.

Riku grinned, chuckling a little. That was true. If they wanted to go, they could go now, and no one could stop them.

"Well." Alpha cleared his throat. "We might as well kill two birds with one stone. Make it both a- uh- vacation… along with a test."

"Okay," Riku replied, eyes not leaving Namine's face.

"But you should wait a few days before going," Alpha added, sternly.

Riku hardly heard him. "Sure thing," he muttered.

Namine just giggled, eyes not leaving his. "You got it."

"Why Hollow Bastion?" Vexen asked, suddenly.

"Oh, just…" Riku shrugged. "'Cause."

"Why do you want to go to Hollow Bastion?" Vexen said, slowly, rephrasing his question to be more specific. "Why not Destiny Islands?"

Riku blinked a few times. Namine smiled at him, but slowly pulled away to give him some space.

"Because…" he began, but trailed off again. It wasn't that he was having trouble processing what Vexen wanted to know or anything. He just… wasn't sure how to put it into words. To explain—to_ Vexen—_that Destiny Islands didn't feel like home? Had never felt like home? That Hollow Bastion was the first place he felt like he _belonged?_

Maybe Vexen'd understand it.

But that didn't mean Riku wanted to tell him.

"Ah, to be honest," he said. "I think I'd die of boredom on Destiny Islands." He chuckled a little. "Hollow Bastion has that Heartless problem, remember? It… keeps me occupied."

"He has trouble sitting still," Namine teased, elbowing him.

"I do not!" he argued.

"Ah," Vexen said. He seemed a little distracted. Riku almost wondered why, except—

"Hey Riku?" Namine asked.

He turned to look at her—not that he could turn very far, seeing that her face was suddenly very close to his. She was standing on tiptoe, one hand on his shoulder to help support herself.

"Mm?"

"I've got some pictures I wanna show you," she said, with a little giggle. "Do you wanna—"

"Yeah."

It wasn't even a question. Yes, this was a little random, but of course he did. Of course he wanted to spend more time with her. Next to her.

So he let her lead him off. If Alpha or Vexen minded—he doubted they did and honestly didn't much care regardless—they said nothing.


	179. Fair Weather

I... contemplated putting off posting this but then I was like "oh yeah I got a con tomorrow and the rest of the weekend so". Better early than late? (Tho I think I'm on time...)

* * *

><p>"Hold on," Namine said, frowning at her sketchbook as she flipped through the pages. "I just need to figure out what part of the sketchbook they're in…"<p>

Riku chuckled, leaning back against the wall. They were sitting in her room, on her bed. He was in the corner, knees up to his chest, hands resting at his sides. Namine was leaned up against him, slouching a little, her head resting against his arm. Her knees were up, too, bumping against his. She had her sketchbook propped up against her legs as she flipped through it.

"It's okay," he told her smiling.

She was mumbling under her breath, getting excited briefly only to get disappointed again, muttering about how she _could've sworn_ they were around here… but maybe she'd drawn them earlier… or later? If he knew what she was looking for, he would've helped her out, but he settled for just sitting here as she figured it out. He didn't want to ask and distract her. The chances of her being able to describe what she was looking for were slim, anyway.

He glanced over her shoulder, watching as she flipped through the pictures. She never lingered on them for long—at most for five seconds as she muttered more to herself.

"What was that?" he asked, one of the pictures she flipped past catching his attention.

Namine paused. "Hmm?" She looked up at him.

Riku shrugged. "I don't know. There was a picture you flipped passed… One of you…"

_That I want to see… _he finished in his head, not having the nerve to say it aloud for some reason.

"Oh, hang on!" she told him, and flipped back to the picture. "This one?"

"Mmhmm."

It was a simple picture of Namine, showing her from her torso up. She wasn't exactly smiling… she looked a little shocked. She was also holding her sketchbook, from the looks of it—someone had probably interrupted her drawing. There was hardly a background, but it was there: all muted yellows and blues, like Namine'd only had a vague idea of what it should look like and hadn't cared enough to make it look nice.

"It's a nice picture of you!" Riku said, trying to sound enthusiastic. It did really look nice. He'd just always been terrible at compliments…

"It is a nice picture!" Namine agreed. "But… it's not of me."

He frowned.

"It's not?"

If it wasn't her, then…

"No," she said. "That's—"

…_oh._

"—the Namine from the other universe," Namine finished.

Even though he'd been expecting it, his heart still thudded to a halt. He took a deep breath, trying to get it working again.

"Right."

But why would she draw a picture of the other Namine? Had she… known? She'd mentioned their minds were connected. Hers and his. So had she known he'd been thinking about… about the other Namine? _Could_ she have known? But why the picture…?

Namine shifted next to him, so her body was completely pressed against his. He moved his hand—she'd be sitting on it otherwise—so it was on his knee. Her head rested against his shoulder, and she let out a long sigh. She sounded a little worried…

He sighed, too.

_She_ didn't matter, he told himself. He had his own Namine, now. And she… well…

"It's- it's a little hard to tell you two apart," he said, chuckling a little, trying to make a joke out of it. Though he meant that. He really couldn't… not by looking at them alone. "How- how can _you_ tell? Though… I suppose… since you drew it…"

This wasn't coming out at all how he wanted to.

She just smiled.

"It's actually not that hard," she said, and then she giggled.

"It's not?"

She just giggled in response. And kept giggling. He wasn't sure what about, but clearly it was very funny. She was almost doubled over with her giggles.

"What's so funny?" Riku asked, laughing a little himself. Laughter was contagious. Especially _Namine's_ laughter.

"I just-" she gasped through her giggles. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry it's not actually funny."

And now he did laugh. "Then why are you giggling so much?"

"It's stupid! I just—"

More giggling.

"Riku, I—"

But she couldn't get those words out either.

"Why are you laughing so much!?" Riku asked, exasperated. If he was honest, though, he didn't much care _why_ she was laughing; it was nice just to hear her giggle.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I-"

It just dissolved into more giggling.

"If you're laughing because I can't tell you two apart—"

"No, no! That's not it at all!" she assured him, finally getting her giggles under control. "I was laughing about- well. No." She shook her head. "No, it's stupid."

"Well, fine," he said. "Then tell me your secret to telling the two of you apart."

She cleared her throat and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It's all in the eyes," she told him.

"Yeah?"

Namine nodded. "See, hers are a dark blue, like Kairi's," she explained, indicating the picture. Sure enough, in the picture, Namine's—the _other_ Namine's—eyes were a dark shade of blue.

"Yeah…"

He wasn't quite sure where she was going with this.

"_My _eyes are a lighter blue," Namine said, firmly. "Sorta… like the color yours are."

He raised his eyebrows.

"_Really?_"

She shifted so she could look up at him. Their eyes met. She kept talking.

"Well, not the _same_ color of yours," she said. "Yours are such a _bright_ blue! But mine definitely aren't as dark of a blue as Kairi's. Or the other Namine's."

"They aren't…" he murmured.

Because, sure enough, now that he was paying attention, he noticed her eyes _were_ a pale shade of blue. About the same shade of the sky—_morning_ sky. Right as the sun's starting to rise and everything is all pale pinks and blues and yellows.

Her eyes were also… very pretty, now that he thought about it.

She giggled a little, smiling. The smile—the laughter—reached all the way to her very pretty eyes, making them sparkle.

He smiled, too, his heart skipping a beat or three.

Their faces were somehow only a breath apart, their foreheads nearly touching, noses all but bumping together. It was nice, being this close to her. Breathing in her air. Eyes locked with her very pretty pale blue ones. A sudden urge rushed through him, then, and—

And Namine pulled away.

She'd shifted only slightly, looking down at the sheets of the bed, fingers gripping her sketchbook tightly. Riku blinked a few times, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

They'd nearly—

His cheeks grew hot, and he glanced down at his hands, not sure what else to do. He'd never… exactly… They'd never… _she'd_ never…

His thoughts were spinning too much to make sense of them, so he turned to look at Namine again.

His heart about stopped. The scene was all too familiar. Her very pointedly not looking at him. Hair covering her face to hide her—

_No._

No.

He shook the image, the _memory,_ out of his head.

It wasn't like that. This wasn't the other universe. _She_ wasn't the other Namine. She was his Namine. She was…

_Probably just a little embarrassed,_ he assured himself. Now that the moment was gone, he admitted, he felt a little embarrassed, too. And a little… disappointed. That they hadn't… oh well.

_Besides,_ he thought, _she put me in that position to begin with. She wouldn't have if she doesn't- didn't…_

If she hadn't wanted to, too. Well, of course, she _hadn't,_ exactly… since she pulled away… but… But, if anything, that was her getting embarrassed at the last second. Whatever. It didn't matter.

He slowly reached out, brushing her hair away from her face. She smiled shyly up at him, her cheeks a furious red.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

He laughed. "What? Don't be!"

Apologizing was so absurd. She didn't need to feel sorry for… no.

He ran his fingers over her cheek, and she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and sighing a little.

"I just…"

She trailed off.

He looked at her for a moment, waiting, but it was clear she wasn't going to say anymore. His eyes darted to her lips. He… _could._ Kiss her. If he… wanted….

Oh, he wanted to.

He couldn't deny that.

But…

He smiled, bent down, kissed her on the cheek instead. She took in sharp, short, breath, clearly surprised. She was grinning, though. He pulled away, tucking her hair behind her ear. A smile was tugging at his own lips.

He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer, resting his cheek against her hair.

"What about those pictures you wanted to show me?" he asked, gently.

"Right!" She moved so she could flip through her sketchbook again. "Ah… where did they go…?"

He smiled.

The moment was short lived, however. There was a sudden knocking on the door.

Riku frowned, his good mood evaporating. Namine jumped a little, clearly startled.

"Riku?" a voice called from the other side of the door.

It was Vexen.

Riku sighed. Yup. Good mood. Gone.

"I'm in the middle of something!" he called.

Namine giggled. Riku sent a frown down at her, not that she could see it.

"I only need you for a moment," Vexen said.

Riku groaned.

"Go see what he wants," Namine said, still laughing.

"I don't… _have_ to," Riku replied, slowly. He really didn't.

Namine just laughed some more. "Then go get rid of him!"

Riku sighed, but got up. Well, he had to disentangle himself from Namine, first, but he got up anyway, and went to the door. He sent a pointed 'can you believe this?' look at Namine. She only giggled, flipping through her sketchbook again. Riku opened the door.

"What_?_" he demanded, glaring at Vexen.

"Can I borrow you for a minute?" Vexen asked, his tone suggesting that he'd _completely_ missed how much Riku _did not_ want to be bothered right now.

"Yeah!" Riku laughed, sarcastically. "Sure! Because I'm _totally_ not doing anything right now!"

"Perfect!" Vexen exclaimed, grabbing Riku by the arm and pulling him through the doorway.

"No wait that was—"

He couldn't get the words out before a dark corridor enveloped him.


	180. Scarred

yoooooooooo I don't have anything to say not really

* * *

><p>Whatever Pete was excited about, Sora wished he'd at least stop <em>talking<em> about it. He'd been going for the past half hour. Something about… large Heartless… and good ideas… and he must've repeated himself at least three times now. Sora sighed. Unfortunately he didn't have anything to distract himself, and tuning Pete out only worked so well.

Up until this point, Sora's time with Maleficent had passed in something of a blur. He bounced between sleeping and grudgingly being dragged from world to world. He didn't remember most of it. But now—ever since he'd fought Roxas—time was moving at a normal pace again. Which was unfortunate, because that meant it was moving _very slow._

Absentmindedly, Sora reached up to his neck to fiddle with his necklace, like he tended to do when he was bored out of his mind. His fingers closed around nothing. Right. He knew it wasn't there. He just seemed to… keep forgetting.

"Why don't we go see this Heartless of yours?" Maleficent asked, abruptly, pulling Sora out of his thoughts.

Pete stopped mid-sentence, gaped for a second. "Well- yeah," he said. "Yeah!" He pulled himself together surprisingly quickly. "Just wait 'til you see it, too! It's a big one, I promise!"

"Mmhmm." Maleficent rose to her feet. She looked at Pete expectantly. "Well? What are you waiting for, fool?"

"Wha? Oh!" Pete chuckled nervously, formed a dark corridor. "Right."

"Sora?" Maleficent called.

Sora suppressed a groan. Of course, 'we' would include him, wouldn't it? What was he supposed to do while they examined the Heartless? Though, he supposed, Maleficent would rather keep an eye on him, and it'd be hard to do if they were on separate worlds.

It wasn't like he had another choice, though.

"Coming," he said, getting to his feet and following after them.

He took a deep breath and a moment's hesitation before stepping through the dark corridor. Per usual, it was like stepping through a blanket that was only just insubstantial enough to let you pass through it. The darkness seemed to linger on his skin, too. It made his scar sting, made his heart wrench—

But then he was through. He stood very still, gathering himself, and very much wishing he could sit down for a few moments and catch his breath. He really hated traveling via dark corridors… Not that Maleficent noticed. Or cared.

The sooner he got away from her the better—not that he was sure on how he planned on doing that, exactly. He didn't have any method of transport… but maybe he just snuck off. Hid somewhere. Then Maleficent would leave without him. He could always talk to the locals. Surely _someone _had an idea about world travel.

Oh, but, if he remembered correctly, this world was short on towns. And people. He hadn't run into anyone last time he was here. What was this world called, anyway? He looked around.

They were standing on an outcropping of rock in the middle of an ocean. There was a trail of more rock outcroppings—all in various sizes—leading back to an island behind them. The island looked fairly large, and was covered in a lot of green grass. Sora nodded. He'd definitely been here before.

_"Neverland," _a voice whispered, gently, in the back of his mind.

The charm in his pocket twitched affectionately at the thought.

Sora's eyes widened a little. Neverland? But that meant this was…

_No._

"There!" Pete shouted, sounding very proud of himself. "That's the Heartless I was tellin' ya about!" He was pointing up at the sky.

Sora followed his line of sight, and then found he didn't need to. The Heartless wasn't hard to see at all. It was at least the size of the outcropping they were standing on, plus its tail.

_Then there's that wingspan to consider,_ Sora thought.

The Heartless looked vaguely like a bird, though its face was composed of a skull and… was that a treasure chest hanging from its mouth? That, or the treasure chest _was_ its mouth. It was hard to tell from this distance, despite how big the thing was.

"Hey!" Pete scowled all of a sudden, squinting up at the sky. "What's that? Flying 'round up there next to my Heartless?" He held his hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun.

Sora had to squint, too. This thing was much smaller thus much harder to see. And it looked… vaguely human-shaped. In fact… it looked a little like…

Was that _Roxas?_

The Heartless backpedaled, screeching as if it were in pain. As it did so, Sora caught a glint of—yup. Two Keyblades. That was Roxas.

"Now wait a second!" Pete stomped his foot, balling his fists. "That punk's takin' down my Heartless! Just who does he think he is?!"

"Quiet," Maleficent warned. She turned to Sora. "I believe _you_ can take care of this?"

He looked over at her. "Yeah, sure!" he said, sarcastically. "Just lemme figure out how to _fly_ first!"

Obviously, it wasn't impossible, seeing as Roxas had figured it out, but… But that didn't mean he was looking forward to it. Well, maybe to flying. Not to fighting Roxas. Again. He'd done that once. He still ached...

"Well, that shouldn't be too hard," Pete assured him. "All you need is some of that sparkly dust—not that flyin's any fun…" He grumbled a little, rubbing his back.

"I… guess I'll go do that," Sora said, slowly, starting off.

An excuse? To run off on his own? Like he'd pass that up!

And if he figured out to fly, then he'd definitely be able to give Maleficent the slip!

Still though… sparkly dust… _pixie_ dust… flying… _Neverland_.

He'd been here before. And he hadn't seen any pixies. Or anyone _flying_. Could this really be the same Neverland? But how had he _missed_…

_Pixies are shy though,_ Sora reminded himself. _At least I think they are. It's been a while… a long while since I've read any of the—_

Then he chuckled. He'd read stories about Neverland since he was a kid. Not that the stories would be completely accurate… but to think he was standing _here._ Standing _in_ Neverland. Man, if he was gonna pick any place to run from Maleficent, maybe he wouldn't mind sticking around here…

Regardless. First order of business was to find a pixie. Actually, first order of business was to get farther inland—he doubted he'd find many pixies out this close to the ocean. Besides, if he went further inland, maybe he'd run into a few of the Lost Boys. And if he ran into some Lost Boys, then he'd run into—

A ball of light shot past him, carrying the sound of bells in its wake. Then the ball of light paused, and Sora saw it was…

"A pixie!" he exclaimed.

The pixie gave him an annoyed look before flying back over to him. She looked him over for a moment, and then kicked him in the nose. He took a step away from her, rubbing his nose.

"Tinker bell!" a new voice called, sounding disappointed.

Sora's eyes widened. Tinker bell? That meant…

Sora turned, and, sure enough, _flying_ towards them was none other than Peter Pan himself. Sora couldn't help but grin a little. The grin was covered by his hand, however, since he was still clutching his nose.

Peter Pan slowed down, then touched his feet to the ground, folding his arms across his chest, tapping his foot impatiently. He glared at Tinker Bell. "That's no way to treat a stranger!"

Tinker Bell made a few jangling noises before flying off.

Peter Pan watched her go, then rolled his eyes and turned back to Sora. "Ah, don't mind her," he said. "She just thinks you shouldn't be trusted just because you smell a little funny. But she smells funny too!" he directed this last part at Tinker Bell, shouting loudly after her.

Sora grimaced a little. He wasn't exactly… upset or anything. He'd just… expected his childhood hero to be a little more _mature._

_Though, I started reading 'bout him when I was five,_ he thought. _And I'd lost interest by the time I was ten. So…_

"Anyway, what's your name?" Peter Pan asked.

"Sora."

"Nice to meet ya! I'm—"

"Peter Pan," Sora couldn't help but finish. He quickly clapped his hand over his mouth, though, once he'd said it.

Peter Pan instantly frowned. "How'd you know that?" he asked. Soon he was flying again—floating, really—going around Sora in circles, examining him. "Maybe Tink was right about you…" He poked Sora in the ribs, then looked him in the eye. "Did Hook send ya?"

Sora quickly shook his head.

Peter Pan wasn't convinced. "Then how'd you know my name? And where'd you get that scar?" He was frowning very intensely, like he could glare the answers out of Sora. "Only pirates have scars like that."

Sora turned away from him, not that he could hide his scar, with it being as large as it was. "I- I got this scar fighting pirates!" he said, quickly. "They captured me once, and I got away—but not before the captain gave me this." He flashed a grin at Peter, tapping the scar, trying to act proud.

It was a lie, of course, but he didn't really want to get into the details. Besides, Peter seemed to buy it.

"How'd you know my name, though?" he asked.

"I've heard a lot of stories about you!" Sora said. "I've heard that you're great at fighting pirates and- and lots of other stuff!"

Peter slowly grinned. "Is that right?" He smirked a little. "You hear that Tink? I'm famous!"

Tinker Bell was suddenly back. (Sora suspected she hadn't gone far to begin with.) She made a couple of noises at Peter. Peter listened intently, his face growing sour. He swatted at Tinker Bell, playfully. "Aw, lemme be a legend! What's so wrong with it?"

Tinker Bell made a few more noises—all of them sounded much like bells. Sora smiled. He supposed he shouldn't have expected any differently.

"She wants to know if there are any stories about her," Peter said, turning to Sora.

Sora nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yeah! Loads of stories!"

Tinker Bell lightened up considerably.

"So, Sora," Peter said. "What brings you to Neverland?"

"Well…" Sora grinned. "I was wondering if you could teach me how to fly."

**_xXx_**

"Yeesh, I'm not sure how much more time I can buy you," Axel muttered, scratching his head.

He knew Vexen—the one from the other universe—was in Castle Oblivion. That was the most obvious place to look for him. Of course, he'd lied to the boss, said he _didn't _know where Vexen was. Sent out his Assassins to "check" the worlds for Vexen.

That'd bought a few days, since he could only send out so many Assassins at once before he lost track of them and they lost track of what they were supposed to be doing. But he'd run out of worlds to "check", and the batch he sent off about an hour ago was headed for C.O. He wouldn't be able to put off going after Vexen himself much longer.

He let out a long breath.

It wasn't like he _needed_ to help Vexen out, now that he and the Rebellion weren't… exactly on the same side anymore. But for some reason he couldn't help it. Besides, he'd already given Vexen the head start…

"Guess I just… can't decide if I want the Program restored or not…" Axel mumbled.

Rather, he didn't want to think about what Xemnas would do with it once it was started. When Vexen—the… this universe's Vexen—was still around, he wouldn't have let Xemnas do much with the Program. And then they didn't have the full Program when Saix was in charge. But who knew what would happen if the other universe's Vexen got put in charge.

"Axel? What are you still doing here?"

Axel looked up. Saix? Of all people…

"Oh, I'm just—"

"I thought Lord Xemnas gave you orders," Saix said, impatiently.

Axel raised his eyebrows. "And he sent you to—"

"A good _two days_ ago." Saix frowned. "You should've left the moment you got the orders, and not returned until you'd carried them out."

Axel paused. Right. Someone had to get on his case about that eventually.

"Ahh… he expects me to take Roxas with me," Axel said, quickly. "I wouldn't want to distract Roxas from his other missions just to hunt Vexen down. I sent a couple of Assassins out, to do the hunting for us, and the last batch should be back—" He paused. Something was tugging at the edge of his cloak.

He glanced down, and saw an Assassin. He nudged it away from him with his foot, smiling slightly. How convenient.

"Ah! There it is!" he told Saix. "One sec." He looked down at the Assassin, folding his arms across his chest. "Alright? What'd you find?"

Unfortunately he couldn't much lie about what it said, with Saix being right there. But he wasn't going to be able to put off going after Vexen much longer anyway. Might as well get it over with.

Except…

He frowned down at the Assassin, hoping he'd just been too occupied with his thoughts to understand that properly. It _can't_ have said…

"Say that again?"

It repeated its report, and Axel's eyes went wide.

"What do you _mean_ he's not there?" he demanded.

"Surely you at least have _some_ idea where he is, Axel," Saix said, calmly.

Axel shot a glare at him. "Yeah. Except this bugger—" he kicked the Assassin "—just told me he's not in Castle Oblivion. And I've had them check every other world, too."

"They can't have checked _all_ the rooms in that castle."

Axel frowned. He'd sent three of them, which should've been enough to check the entirety of the castle while still going unnoticed. But it _was_ a big castle… he should've sent more.

"Go back and just… hang around the main area, will you?" Axel said, kicking at the Assassin again. "Maybe he's just out of your senses. And _report to me_ the _moment_ you find him." The Assassin left, and Axel groaned. "Sheesh, how hard can it be for them to sense one Somebody in the midst of a bunch of Replicas?"

He was joking, mainly, though Saix wasn't amused.

"Perhaps you should've sent some Dusks…" he said, simply.

"Are you kidding? They definitely wouldn't have been able to tell the difference." Axel chuckled. "Now if you'll excuse me…" He started walking off.

"Why don't you go to Castle Oblivion yourself?" Saix asked.

"Because I'd rather not show my face there unless I'm positive I'll be grabbing Vexen and running," Axel replied, not even bothering to stop walking.


	181. Childhood

I'M SORRY THIS IS LATE(ISH) IT SLIPPED MY MIND TO UPLOAD ANYTHING

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><p>"Well…" Sora grinned. "I was wondering if you could teach me how to fly."<p>

"Mm…hmm..." Peter considered him for a long moment. "Sorry! No can do!"

Sora's smile instantly vanished. "What? Why not?"

"Simple! You don't look like you've got enough happy thoughts to get you two feet off the ground, let alone enough to keep you up in the air!" Peter was surprisingly chipper about the entire thing.

Actually, it wasn't a surprise, it was just annoying.

Sora sighed. He supposed he _didn't_ have enough happy thoughts. Nothing in his life was exactly happy right now—and even then, what good _would_ flying do him? Sure, he could outfly Maleficent… but for how long? And then what was he supposed to do? Sticking around Neverland was great and all, but he'd have to leave eventually, and he doubted anyone here knew a way off-world.

"Fine then," he said, stepping around Peter and walking off.

He got maybe about five steps.

"Hey wait a sec!" Peter called. "Tink! Sprinkle the dust on him—don't give me that look! It won't matter if we get him up in the air with happy thoughts, without the dust he'll just fall!"

Tinker Bell made a couple of angry jangling noises.

"Don't give me that—he- fine!"

Three seconds later, Peter flew over, holding Tinker Bell by the wings to keep her from flying off. She was still jangling angrily at him, flailing a little, but Peter ignored her and held her over Sora's head, shaking her until quite a bit of pixie dust fell on him. Sora coughed, sneezed, then scratched his neck. Ahh… he'd have to take a shower to get all this off. It was a pity it itched so much.

"Sorry about that," Peter said, letting go of Tinker Bell. "She still doesn't trust you. Of course I wasn't apologizing to you!" He directed the last bit at Tinker Bell. "Why would I—ow!" She kicked him in the ear, before flying off.

Sora suspected she'd be back soon, given her track record.

"Anyway…" Peter rubbed his ear, then flew over to Sora. "Like this." He lifted first Sora's right arm, then Sora's left arm, and Sora felt a little like an airplane. "Now, you got happy thoughts in your head?"

Sora nodded, gathering the happiest thoughts he could.

"Then fly!"

Nothing happened.

"You gotta try harder than that!"

Sora didn't exactly understand how he was supposed to try any harder. It obviously wasn't working, or he'd be doing more than just straining to take flight. He jumped into the air for extra measure, but didn't stay afloat any longer than a normal person would.

"Well, now you're just too frustrated," Peter told him. "You'll never get into the air like that. Come on!" He started off.

Sora frowned after him, dropping his arms to his sides. "Where are we going?" he asked, quickly jogging to catch up.

Peter shrugged. "Just figured I'd show you 'round Neverland. Maybe you'll get excited about something and just start floating! Flying's always hardest when you're trying too hard, you know." He turned and waggled a finger at Sora, face very serious.

Sora just nodded, biting his lip, trying not to laugh. The idea of spending a day with Peter Pan was great and all, but now that he was actually doing it, Sora was a little less than impressed. In his head, Peter'd been less… childish. And the way he acted like he was an expert on flying was certainly very child-like.

Then again… if anyone in Neverland was an expert on flying, it _would_ be Peter Pan.

"This way!" Peter called.

Sora followed after him.

**_xXx_**

Sora groaned. He was lying on his back, staring up at the trees above him, glaring slightly. They'd been up in the trees, sort of just exploring and…

And then Peter'd pushed him.

And, of course, Sora hadn't been able to fly and catch himself before he hit the ground. Thankfully, the drop hadn't been too large—only a couple of feet—but he still hurt. A lot.

Peter bent over him, looking a little worried, but not so much so.

"C'mon Sora!" he laughed. "You just gotta believe!"

Sora frowned.

"I thought you said I needed happy thoughts…"

"Oh yeah." Peter nodded vigorously. "And those too!"

Sora sighed and pushed himself up, casting a Cure for himself. Thankfully, that was all it took to stop him aching so much.

"Well, come on!" Peter said, grinning. "So sense sticking 'round here! Let's—hmm?" Tinker Bell was tugging at his ear, impatiently. She turned and pointed, jangling again.

There was a group of Heartless behind Peter—not a large group, though. Just a couple of Shadows and one that looked a little like a Pirate. It even had a sword!

"Aw, these pests again!" Peter groaned, pulling his dagger from his belt.

Sora summoned his Keyblade. Peter looked over at him, seeming slightly surprised. The surprise only lasted a few seconds though, before Peter launched himself at the Heartless. He took out a Shadow with a series of quick stabs.

Sora took out one of the Shadows, and then focused on the Pirate. With that Sliding Dash ability he'd learned, he was able to rush over to it and hit it with a combo. Unfortunately, the Pirate parried him on the last hit of the combo, and then it somehow managed to knock Sora's Keyblade out of his hand. Sora frowned, but before he could pick his Keyblade or summon it back to him, the Pirate had its sword aimed at his chest. Right at his heart.

Sora took a step back out of reflex, not liking the glint in the Heartless' eyes. He quickly aimed with his fingers and shot a Fire at it. That was enough to kill it. Sora let out a hiss of a breath, shaking his hand, not liking how hot his fingers felt. There were drawbacks to channeling magic directly…

Anyway.

He turned to locate his Keyblade, and was surprised to find that Peter was picking it up. He turned it over in his hands, studying it.

"This is called a Keyblade, right?" he asked, cocking his head to the side as he held it out. "Y'know, I'm pretty sure I've seen one of these before! I hear they're supposed to be—"

There was a flash of light and the Keyblade vanished from Peter's hand. Sora didn't need to feel the rush of wind nor the cool metal of the Keyblade settling in his fingers to know it'd gone back to him. He hadn't exactly _called_ it back, but there'd been a tug at his heart when it'd vanished. He'd just… known.

"—special," Peter finished, frowning and looking at his hand. "Huh."

"What do you know about the Keyblade?" Sora asked, eyes narrowing.

"I… just remember seeing one before, that's all," Peter said, shrugging. "Can't remember where. It's been a while." His face scrunched up.

"Right…"

Sora wasn't sure what to do, but it didn't look like he was going to get any more out of Peter on the subject.

**_xXx_**

Roxas's feet touched the ground, and he banished his Keyblades, smirking slightly. That hadn't been too hard.

"'Warning: potentially deadly', pshh!" Roxas laughed to himself. "Yeah right, 26. You need to think a little harder when putting these mission reports together—there hasn't been a Heartless yet that's been 'deadly'."

Because, sure enough, this last one—Ruler of the Skies, had the mission report called it?—wasn't that hard. It was a _little_ obnoxious, seeing as the thing was a) very large, and b) _flew_, but it could've been a lot worse. A _lot_ worse.

Roxas did a quick check of his stock.

"Oh, I've still got three Cures left," he muttered, smiling and summoning one of his Keyblades back to him. It was the black one. He couldn't seem to get the white one to come on its own… Anyway…

"Let's do a quick round of this world!"

Roxas thought for a second, then picked a direction and started off. He had time. He had Cures. Sure, he was still a little low on the rest of his magic, but it couldn't hurt to do an extra round and kill a couple extra Heartless. And who would complain? No one.

The first batch of Heartless he ran into was, unfortunately, just a group of Shadows. He didn't get any _credit_ for killing those. He sighed, flipped his Keyblade in his hand, twirling it under his fingers before tossing it at the Heartless. It spun around, striking each of the Shadows, killing them all in one hit. Good.

"I should just skip the next batch of those guys," Roxas muttered, sighing a little as he caught his Keyblade. He continued twirling it under his fingers, absentmindedly.

Oh well.

He'd maybe gotten ten feet when he hit the next batch. All Pirates, along with an Air Pirate.

"Heh," he chuckled.

He tossed his Keyblade at the Air Pirate, sending out a burst of light with it. He summoned his second Keyblade to him, ran forward, scooped up the munny the Air Pirate dropped as it died, then jumped into the air. He caught his first Keyblade, and then slammed them both into the ground, light erupting from him as he did so. All but one of the Pirates died. That one he finished off with his last blast of Fire.

Roxas straightened, trying not to smirk.

_Thud!_

Roxas tensed immediately. That sounded like… something hitting the ground. Actually… it sounded more like some_one._ He turned and, sure enough, there was someone sprawled out on the ground. From the looks of it, they'd fallen from the top of the small cliff behind them. The cliff can't have been more than ten feet, though…

"Hey, are you—" Roxas began, but the words caught in his throat.

He knew who that was.

That was _Sora._

His hands tightened on his Keyblades.


	182. Special Mission

I highly suggest you check out the blog? The chapter commentary for this chapter is interesting (I think) and I plan on having a navigation thing worked out so it's easier to find chapter commentary for a specific chapter! Hopefully!

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><p>Sora let out a long groan, half in frustration, half in <em>pain.<em> He appreciated Peter Pan trying to help him fly and all, but he didn't see how _shoving him off a cliff_ exactly helped. Especially since pushing him out of a tree hadn't worked.

"I'm going to give up on flying," Sora grumbled, pushing himself up and spitting the grass and dirt out of his mouth. At least it didn't taste as bad as sand… but it still tasted pretty bad.

"Hey, are you—" a voice began, but then they stopped.

Sora sat up on his knees, rubbing his wrist—it didn't feel right. His eyes went wide when he saw who was speaking, though. It was Roxas. He looked a little tense…

_Then again, considering what happened when I _last_ saw him,_ Sora thought, grimacing.

"I, uhm," he said, getting to his feet. "Sorry about- about… last time I saw you. I wasn't exactly… I was…" he scratched his head. This was more complicated to explain than he thought it would've been. "…possessed by darkness?"

Roxas was still frowning at him, but after a moment, he banished one of his Keyblades and relaxed a little.

"Aw, I guess it's alright," he said. "I mean, I'm okay, aren't I?" His face got very serious. "And even if you were lying, I can still take you if you tried something like that again." He spun his Keyblade around in his hand once, then grinned. "I hope you're not stupid enough to try, because I won't go so easy on you!"

"I- no!" Sora stuttered. "Of- of course I wouldn't… be stupid enough to… try something like that again."

Roxas grinned. "Good."

Sora grimaced, then, realizing something. "…you went _easy_ on me, last time?" he asked, rubbing his back. It still ached at the memory of that fight. Or maybe it just ached from falling…

"For the most part," Roxas laughed. "Here." He dug a hi-potion out of his pocket and handed it to Sora. "Not sure if it'll help with whatever damage I did to you during that battle, but it might help with that… fall." He squinted up at the top of the cliff. "Why did you—"

"Hey Sora! Who's this guy? He a friend of yours or something?" Peter was very suddenly right next to Roxas, poking him and scowling at him, clearly suspicious.

Sora swallowed the rest of the hi-potion as quick as he could so he could answer. "Ah, well—"

Peter's eyes narrowed. "Don't I know you?" he asked.

Roxas just looked at him, blinking a few times. "I don't know you…" he said, slowly.

"You sure _look_ familiar."

Roxas took a step away from Peter, looking a little uncomfortable. "I- I swear I've never met you before," he said.

Peter frowned for another few seconds, and then shrugged. "Okay. Guess it's just my memory being wonky again…" He didn't seem too pleased by that thought, but stopped pressing the matter.

Tinker Bell jingled happily, and flew over, circling around Roxas a few times.

Roxas smiled at her.

"Hey, nice to see you again!" he said.

"You know him?" Peter asked, folding his arms across his chest and looking at Tinker Bell, pouting a little.

She jingled.

"Yeah, she helped me out with, uh, flying," Roxas said.

"You helped _him_ out but you didn't help Sora!?" Peter demanded, glaring at Tinker Bell now.

She turned her nose up, jangling.

"He doesn't look trustworthy at all!" Peter protested. "Not with the black cloak and the—I don't care what he _smells_ like!"

Roxas laughed, Sora chuckled a little, too.

Roxas threw him a look. "They always like this?" he asked.

"They've been like this all day," Sora replied. "I can't vouch for any other days." He shrugged.

"So, uh, what was with the falling, anyway?" Roxas asked. Peter and Tinker Bell were still arguing behind them.

"Peter Pan shoved me," Sora explained, laughing a little. "He's been trying to help me fly."

Roxas laughed. "Oh boy! You can't figure it out for yourself?"

Sora showed Roxas his attempts to take flight, which, of course, were still unsuccessful.

"She already sprinkle you with the dust?"

Sora nodded.

"Huh. That's all it took for me."

To demonstrate, Roxas took off from the ground, hovering just above it for a few seconds before landing again. Sora frowned at him. Of _course_ Roxas could—

No. No he wasn't going to think like that. It didn't matter that Roxas was better than him. Didn't matter that Roxas was stronger. Didn't matter that Roxas could fly.

"Peter says you need happy thoughts, too," Sora explained.

_And I'm getting less and less of those as the day wears on, _he thought. _It's no wonder I can't fly._

"Huh," Roxas said.

Sora swallowed.

"Uhm. I am- I am _really_ sorry about… the other day…" he said.

Roxas frowned at him, but he looked a little amused. "You already apologized!"

"I know, I just—"

"Hey! No hard feelings, alright?" Roxas flashed a smile at him. "Like I said, I survived, didn't I? That's all that really matters. Besides, in hindsight, it was a lot of fun!"

Sora stared, not sure if- Well, he'd _heard_ Roxas right, but…

"It was?"

"Yeah!" Roxas was grinning. "You were the first real challenge I've had in a while!"

"I- I _can't_ have been!" Sora stuttered. "You fight humongous Heartless all the time!"

"Yeah, but Heartless don't _think,_" Roxas said. He spun his Keyblade around in his hand, once, like a nervous tick. "They're _mindless._ Do the same things over and over and _over_ again. It's repetitive. Not a challenge at all! But you—" He paused, thought for a second. "You know how I said I went easy on you?"

"Yeah…"

"I lied." Roxas chuckled. "I just wanted to impress you. Heh. But I actually couldn't afford to go easy on you. You were attacking me _way_ too hard!"

"I was?"

"Yeah!" Roxas nodded. "And it was a surprise—I didn't expect a wimp like you to be able to pack such a punch! Not- not that you're a wimp!" he added, quickly. "Sorry. You're just… you always seemed so hesitant when you fought anything. But during that battle…" He trailed off, shaking his head, smiling.

Sora looked at him long and hard, trying to determine what he was thinking. He seemed a little… no. No, that was _ridiculous._ There was no way Roxas was awed by _him!_

Sora shrugged. "I guess it was the darkness," he said, grimacing a little. "I, uh, wouldn't have been holding back, with it controlling me…"

"You should hold back less often!" Roxas said.

Sora stared at him. "You think so?"

"Yeah!" Roxas reached over, poked him in the chest. "If you're always scared of what you can do, you'll never be able to get anything done!"

Sora turned away from him. He reached up, running his fingers over his cheek—over his scar—a little absentmindedly. "I'm not scared of what I can do," he muttered. "I'm scared of the damage it'll cause."

"Well-" Roxas began.

"I could've _killed_ you!"

"But you didn't."

"Yeah, and I consider it _lucky_ that I—"

"Sora," Roxas interrupted. "How… much of this battle do you _remember?_"

"Well-" Sora let out a breath, scratching the back of his neck, now. "Bits and pieces. Not a lot…"

"Ah." Roxas smiled. "You could've killed me twice, you know? During that battle."

"Wha—"

"Twice, you caught me, with my guard down," Roxas continued. "Twice, I was wide open and you could've dealt a finishing blow. But you hesitated. Both times."

Sora lowered his head. "I…"

"I don't think _you'd_ seriously hurt anything—or any_one—_on accident, Sora!" Roxas said, laughing a little. "You'd have to be _really_ trying. You'd have to _really_ want to."

"But the darkness—" Sora paused, rethinking that. "But it was controlling me… and I _didn't_…"

"See?" Roxas grinned. "You—agh…" He glared at something over Sora's shoulder. In one swift motion, he tossed his Keyblade up, caught it around the middle, twirled it once between his fingers before chucking it at whatever he was glaring at.

The distinct sound of a Heartless dying followed.

"Hnn… pity it was just a Shadow," Roxas sighed, clearly dissatisfied. He caught his Keyblade, but he was still holding it around the middle, twirling it in his fingers, lazily.

"Where'd you learn that?" Sora asked him. He couldn't help but stare. He'd never seen _anyone_ wield a Keyblade like that.

"Hmm?" It took Roxas a second to realize what he was asking. "Oh! From Axel."

"Who—"

"Hey, if we're gonna keep talking, do you think we can do it while walking?" Roxas interrupted, seeming a little impatient all of a sudden.

"Oh!" Sora was a little surprised at the request, but didn't see a problem with it. "Yeah, sure! Lemme just—" He pointed over at Peter and Tinker Bell, who were still arguing. He should tell Peter that he was gonna… go. And say thanks for the flying lessons, even though they'd been unsuccessful.

He didn't get a chance. A dark corridor opened all of a sudden, and a man with flaming red hair stepped out.

"Roxas! You done with your-" He paused, glancing around once. "You done here?"

"Uh, yeah!" Roxas nodded. He looked a little startled, but didn't seem too bothered. "Yeah I'm—"

"Then we gotta go! I'll fill you in on the way."

He formed another dark corridor, and he and Roxas were gone.

Sora stared for a moment, before sighing. That was… abrupt. And now that he thought about it, he should've asked Roxas about forming a dark corridor for him. Dark corridors certainly weren't his _favorite_ way of travel, but it'd get him off this world. Away from Maleficent.

Too late now…


	183. Grown up

HEY BIG NEWS! ISH! So I went and gathered all the links for my various chapter commentaries, seeing as there's a bajillion of them and if you're ever looking for one or new readers want to find the older ones, they're all conveniently gathered in one spot. Of course, it won't always be up-to-date, but it does have the links to commentaries since I started them (Dead Inside ch68 or so?) up to now (well, ch182, anyway)

There is a link on my profile to the page for it! Also, if you go to my blog, there is a page labeled "Chapter Commentary" and that page is the one you're looking for!

ALSO! I created a new tumblr! This one is specifically for my fic. I know I already had a fic tumblr, but that was character orientated. This new one (url: "rarsotherftpblog") will mainly reblog all the fun facts and things that I post to my personal. It's so you have the option to get fic-related things without being forced to follow my personal.  
>Of course, if you already follow my personal, this blog is a little pointless to you, but I figured it's best to give people the choice, y'know? Yeah. You know.<p>

AND THEN ONE MORE THING! There's something over in Can't Escape (ch62-65) that you'll probably want to read! You don't have to if you don't want to, but I know a couple of you have been really looking forward to it. So. It's there! (also it's Slightly Plot Important but you really will survive without it if you don't want to read it)

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><p>Peter and Sora resumed their pseudo tour of Neverland, and Sora made sure to not be tricked near any ledges again. Or just anywhere where he could be shoved and fall. Flying would be great and all, but he'd rather not break any bones…<p>

"How'd you end up in Neverland, anyway?" Peter asked. He'd turned around so he could look at Sora, hands behind his headd and basically sitting in mid-air, still floating backwards down the path.

"Ahh…" Sora considered his answer for a moment. "Ran away?"

It wasn't a total lie. If there was anything he was doing right now, it was running away from Maleficent. He'd missed his chance to escape when Roxas was here—which was a pity—but how bad could staying in Neverland be? It had to be better than staying with her!

Besides, maybe Roxas would show up again.

There was a small tug in his pocket from the charm, but Sora didn't pay it any attention.

"Oh!" Peter lit up entirely. "You can stay here if you want, you know! There's always room for one more lost boy! Well…" He frowned a little. "You're a little old… oh, but they'll love you! Everyone's been down since Wendy left, but you'll be the _perfect_ thing to cheer 'em up!"

Sora chuckled a little. He remembered dreaming of being a lost boy when he was a kid. Not that'd he really want to become one now.

"Aha, thanks for the offer, but—"

Peter crossed his arms over his chest, scowling at him. "You said you ran away, didn'tcha?"

"Yeah."

"Then why do ya wanna go back?"

"I- I never said I wanted to!" Sora said, quickly. "But I'm not so sure I want to stay here…"

"Well, there's plenty of room for you if you wanna stay!" Peter assured him. He circled around Sora once. "And just think of how much fun it'll be! No parents, no responsibilities—you getta have fun all day! We gotta figure out how to get you to fly though, first…"

Peter flew so he was right behind Sora and picked him up under the arms. To Sora's surprise, they both took off from the ground, even though he should've weighed Peter down. There wasn't any way Peter was strong enough to carry him… at least not _far._

"How are you carrying me?" Sora asked, looking up at Peter.

"The pixie dust is doing what it's supposed to! Makes you basically weightless!" Peter explained. "But you still need the happy thoughts to fly!"

"…right," Sora said, slowly. Had that been in the stories? He couldn't remember… "Why are you doing this, anyway?" he called, trying not to look down. They were flying over a large valley now, and it was a long way from the ground.

"You're slow when you have to walk!" Peter said, sounding very annoyed about the matter. "I'd thought I'd fly us to Mermaid Lagoon instead."

"Oh, good," Sora sighed with relief. "I thought you were gonna drop me or something."

"That's a great idea!" Peter laughed.

Sora's eyes went wide. He instantly regretted saying anything.

"No—"

Peter let go.

Sora screamed, flailing a little, the ground below him coming up way too fast. The thought didn't even cross his mind that he was supposed to try and fly. He just hoped that the drop didn't look as bad as it did and that he'd somehow not die when he hit the ground.

"Oh quit your screaming!" Peter laughed, diving down so he was next to Sora. He grabbed Sora by the arm, slowing down his fall until they were about two feet off the ground. Then Peter dropped him.

Sora pushed himself up, brushing himself off. He glared.

"Thanks for saving me," he said, "but you shouldn't have dropped me in the first place!"

Peter slowly crossed his arms over his chest, scowling long and hard at Sora. He looked angry. _Really_ angry.

"You're too grown up," he says. "That's why you can't fly. You think this is all kid's stuff!"

"I- _no!_"

Peter's face had almost gone as red at his hair. "You _worry_ too much! You don't understand how to have fun—"

"You _dropped_ me!" Sora protested. "Not to mention _shoved_ me off a—"

"See! That's your problem! You're thinking of it as me _dropping_ you, or _shoving_ you—you forget the fact that you asked me to teach you how to fly!" Peter was shouting, rising a little in each air with each shout. "That's all grown-ups do! Focus on the bad stuff!"

"But you _dropped_ me!"

"Because getting _in_ the air is the hard part! Staying _up_ is easy! I was trying to-"

"Did you hear that?" Sora asked, cutting him off. He'd heard… footsteps. Were those footsteps? It was definitely _something!_

Peter paused, only for a second. "Hear what? No!" His eyes narrowed at Sora. "I'm not falling for it! You're trying to make me forget that I'm mad at you!"

"I'm _serious_ Peter!" Sora hissed. It sounded like—

"Just like a grown-up! You get paranoid and starting hearing things that aren't there and—" Peter stopped, eyes going wide. Without hesitating, he grabbed Sora by the arm and dragged him into the bushes, forcing him down so he was hidden, and ducking down so he was hidden himself.

"It's Maleficent," Sora whispered, peeking out of the bushes.

Peter joined him, though he was a lot less cautious with his peeking. "Isn't she that witch Hook was talking about a while back?" he asked. "Hah! I bet I could take her! Anyone working with that old codfish has gotta be—"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Sora interjected.

"Aw, there you go again!" Peter shot a glare over at Sora. "Getting all paranoid over nothing! You need to—"

"Sora," Maleficent said, addressing him calmly. She knew he was there. She knew he'd come out. Sora's blood ran cold.

Peter rounded on him. "You _know_ her!?"

"I… well…"

"_She's_ the one you ran away from?"

"Yeah…" Sora sighed, started pushing himself up. "But I better go with her—"

"Why would ya wanna go _back!?_"

"Well, I don't," Sora said. "But she's gonna hurt someone if I don't go with her…"

"Stop acting like a grown-up!" Peter hissed, grabbing Sora by the arm and yanking him back to the ground. He was surprisingly strong enough to hold Sora there, too. "Do you want to go back or not? No buts!"

"No," Sora said. He couldn't help himself, though. "_But—_"

"I said no buts!" Peter shouted, and he launched himself out of the bushes, drawing his dagger as he went. Sora watched him go with horror.

"Now listen here you old hag!" Peter laughed, brandishing his dagger. He was floating about three feet off the ground, looking very confident with himself. "This is _my_ land and you best get out of it!"

"Oh?" Maleficent just raised her eyebrows, smiling a little. "And what will you do if I don't?"

"Why, I'll—"

"Peter! No!" Sora jumped out of the bushes. "No, it's- it's fine I—"

"Sora, you and your grown-up-thinking stay out of this!" Peter scolded, sparing only a glance in his direction. Tinker Bell had shown up and was flying around Maleficent's face, trying to distract her. Thankfully, Maleficent didn't seem to notice.

Sora ignored Peter, turning to Maleficent. He sighed again. "I'm comi—"

"You gotta run, Sora!" Peter shouted, over him. "I can handle her!"

"Peter, there is a time for games and a time to be serious!" Sora shouted back, face scrunching, fists clenching.

"I know!" Peter's voice was completely serious, and he turned and looked Sora in the eye. "And you gotta stop playing grown-up and get out of here!"

He turned his attention back to Maleficent, swinging his dagger at her, now. Tinker Bell attempted to kick Maleficent in the face, but was promptly swatted away. Maleficent sent a blast of magic at Peter, but he was able to avoid it.

Sora watched for a second longer, before deciding that Peter could really handle this, and running as quick as he could away from there. He wasn't going to get another chance like this. And Peter was a _hero_—of sorts, anyway. He knew what he was doing.

_But how far can I run?_ Sora thought. Then he smiled.

"Not as far as I can fly," he whispered.

He closed his eyes for a second, not stopping, and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and leapt off the ground, summoning the happiest thought to him that he could—

Something hit him in the side mid-jump. It wasn't something small, either. It felt about the size of him and hit him with enough force to knock him off balance. He hit the ground, _hard,_ his vision blurring. He only managed to register that he was, somehow, no longer in Neverland.

Then he passed out.

**_xXx_**

Maleficent hadn't expected Sora to go far. She'd figured she'd be able to deal with these two nuisances—Peter Pan and his fairy—before Sora could get far at all. At worst, she maybe had to use the darkness to stop him.

In fact, Peter Pan was now on the ground, his dagger far from his reach. He was rubbing his head, face contorted in pain. Maleficent reached over and caught his fairy by its wings, holding it well away from her so it couldn't be any more of an annoyance.

"Hey!" Peter Pan shouted. "Let her go!"

"I—" Maleficent began, but stopped short. Her eyes went wide with fury.

Sora was no longer in this world.

She'd felt him go.

His presence didn't exactly stand out or anything, but it still left a very obvious hole where it should've been.

Something—or some_one_—had taken him from this world.

Taken him from her.

That _damn_ Shadow!

She threw Peter Pan's fairy to the ground in disgust and vanished from that world immediately. She would need to hunt Sora down again, and would rather not waste any time.


	184. Desperate Darkness

Head's up! There are a couple of fun posts in the "ch184" tag on my tumblr! (and on the fic's other tumblr)

Alsooooooooo if you missed it there was a Slightly Important crossover over in Can't Escape! (ch62-65) You don't have to read it, but I highly suggest reading ch65 because Vexen character development. (Also ASASch58 is CEch65 from Riku's POV for those curious.)

that's it!

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><p><em>Approximately a half-hour earlier…<em>

He staggered when he stepped into Neverland.

Sora was here.

It was like air had filled his lungs again—like he could finally breathe after weeks of drowning. He stood there for a long while, hands pressed against his chest, letting the feeling fill him. And then he clasped his hands together, like this was a physical thing, and he never ever intended on letting go of it again.

There was still… _one_ problem, though.

There was no pulsing at the back of his mind. The connection between him and Sora had not been restored. That _witch_ was still blocking it. Oh and she would _pay._

He closed his eyes, reaching out with his senses. He knew she was here. Her presence was like a blot of ink on the light of any world. And she was… east of—

His heart leapt in his chest. His eyes flew open. That was Sora. Briefly, fleetingly, he'd cross the range of his Shadow's senses. His Shadow had to take quite a few breaths to steady himself. Sora was north of him. Moving fast. But he wasn't too far… and it wouldn't be too hard to catch up to him. And…

"_No,_" he told himself, sternly. "It won't matter if I find him. Our connection won't be restored—not while that witch still has a hold on him. I need to break her hold first…"

Besides, there was no telling how long Maleficent would stay put. Sora couldn't be… _too _hardto find a second time. Not that it'd matter. No. Once he'd dealt with Maleficent, their connection would be restored, and Sora would be his again.

The thought made him a little giddy.

**_xXx_**

"You!" he shouted. "I want to know what you've done with Sora!"

Maleficent didn't turn to him. Didn't even look up. She just continued talking to whoever she was with—from the way she spoke to him, he was likely one of her lackeys. Or… her only lackey? Whatever. Sora's Shadow couldn't afford to care too much about that.

He just wanted her to _listen_ to him.

And he'd be _so_ furious if they were on damn _different _planes of existence. But she was darkness. That should've been enough. She should've been able to hear him.

Which meant she was just _ignoring _him.

He chucked a spell at her—it felt a little like Dark Blizzaga, not that he was paying much attention to _what_ he was throwing. So long as it got her attention.

"Hey! I'm _talking_ to you!"

She didn't turn this time, either. The spell he'd thrown seemed to just hit her in the back and bounce off. Fine then. He bent down, picked up a rock about the size of his palm, and took aim.

"I said I'm talking to you!" he shouted, chucking the rock at her. It her in the back of the head, and she froze. Her lackey ducked and cowered, clearly fearing her response.

And then the next thing Sora's Shadow knew, he was on the ground. Something had thrown him back. He was struggling to get up—to see what had thrown him—when he noticed that Maleficent was standing above him. She used the end of her staff to force him back to the ground, and then put a lot more weight into her staff than should've been possible, effectively pinning him there. It felt like there was a ton of bricks sitting on his chest.

He coughed, not that he was _actually_ being crushed, but his lungs were sure acting like he was.

"What do you want, you _pest?_" Maleficent asked, glaring down at him, disgust in her eyes.

"I want Sora back!" he screamed, struggling to get up. He knew it was pointless, but he wasn't just gonna lie here and take this either.

"Oh?" Maleficent smirked. "I wasn't aware that he belonged to you."

She infuriated him. That smirk on her face. The way she pretended like she didn't know what he was talking about. The way she was pinning him down and the way she'd _taken_ Sora from him. He wanted to wring her neck and choke the life out of her—and he would've, had he been able to get up.

"I'm his _Shadow_ and you're doing _my job!_" he shrieked, still struggling to squirm away from her.

"Your 'job'?" Now she laughed. "And _what_ would _that_ be?"

"Dragging Sora into darkness."

"From the looks of things, it doesn't seem like you've done so well with this 'job' of yours."

There was a glint in her eyes. He wanted to punch her in the jaw.

"Yeah, because I haven't been able to _get_ to Sora! _You've_ had him! And I—_ngh!_"

She rammed her staff against his chest, and jolts went through his entire body at the impact. That was going to bruise. If he could bruise.

"I do not know why you're complaining," Maleficent said, sounding too pleased with herself. "I am merely doing what you've _failed_ to."

"_Failed_!?" Just who did she think she was? "I haven't _failed._ I- I have a method and- and _you're_ ruining every—_nrghh!_"

His words were lost with another cry of pain. She'd hit him again, much harder this time.

"Quiet!" she commanded, voice booming, all amusement lost from it. "You low-life piece of light-stained scum! Do you think I do not know what you are? What you are _supposed_ to be? But it seems to me-" She jabbed him again. Right in the heart. "—that something has gone _awry. _It's no wonder you can't do your 'job'. You shouldn't even _exist_ anymore!"

"Maybe if you- hadn't cut me off- from- from _Sora!_" he gasped. It was a struggle to get the words out. His chest was throbbing, and the rest of his body didn't feel too great either. "Maybe I- maybe I would—_hngg!_"

She hit him again.

"You are weak, you are foolish, you are _foul,_" she hissed. "Do you think I cannot sense how you've been tainted?"

His blood ran cold.

"I- I'm _not!_" he choked.

He _wasn't_ tainted. He- he _couldn't_ be!

"You _reek_ of light," Maleficent spat. "And yet you claim to be a shadow? Claim to belong to the darkness? You are not worth such a thing! It sickens me to look at you!" She twisted her staff, grinding it against his chest. "And if you _truly_ wish that Sora be drowned in the deepest darkness, as you so _claim,_ then you should leave that 'job' to me. I do not think you are _capable _of it. I do not think you ever were."

And then she released him—though she whacked him in the chin before pulling her staff away. He pushed himself up, ready to launch himself at her, tackle her to the ground, _force_ her to take back those words—

But she was gone.

He slowly flopped back into the grass, his body aching. It was fortunate that he couldn't bleed—it meant he shouldn't have any bruises—but that didn't mean the pain was going to ease up any time soon.

"Just who does she think he is?" he muttered, angrily. "Telling me I can't do my own damn job? Telling me I'm not _capable?_ She'll _pay_ for that! I would've had her—I would've _killed _her. She's just too coward to fight me!"

He laughed at that thought. It made him feel better. She was cowardly. Only a coward would pin someone to the ground like that only to spit lies at them. If she believed what she'd said, she would've let him attack her—a light-stained scum wouldn't be able to do much damage, after all.

"I'm not light-stained," he mumbled. "Not tainted. I'm as dark as they come. As dark as they get…"

His heart—that _damn_ heart—thudded in his chest, defiantly.

Darkness—Shadows like him—didn't have hearts. They were just glorified Heartless. The lack of a heart was basically a requirement. But why did _he_ have one?

"I shouldn't."

He pressed his hand against his chest. What he'd give to rip this heart out. Feed it to the Heartless. His fingers slowly curled, and he pressed into his shirt, form flickering, until his hand—black as any Heartless—passed through his chest. He closed his fingers around his heart, throwing his head back, closing his eyes, taking deep breaths.

He _could_ rip it out. Though there was no telling what exactly would happen if he did…

He squeezed. Bit his lip. Took a deep breath—

_Sora._

He sat up, letting go of his heart.

How'd he forgotten?

Sora was still here!

What was he doing sitting around and moping for? The fact that he hadn't exactly freed Sora from Maleficent wasn't any excuse. Sora was here. If he found Sora—snatched him away before Maleficent could call him to her again…

He was on his feet, taking off at a dead run, reaching out with his senses to figure out where Sora was. Sora was… west of here. Thankfully his Shadow only had to adjust course slightly. He'd just flash over to Sora—or at least closer—but he was afraid of letting Sora leaving his senses for even a second.

What if he lost him again for good?

"That witch is gonna pay, Sora," he said between breaths, sprinting forward, as fast as he possibly could. "She's gonna pay for taking you away from me. For keeping you from me. For the things she said to me! She's gonna—"

An inkblot of darkness fell across his senses, obscuring Sora. He stumbled. Fell to the ground. It was like the air had been sucked from his lungs, and he was drowning again.

Sora was gone.

Maleficent had taken him.

Sora's Shadow clutched himself tightly, breathing hard, not that it helped. Nothing helped. Sora was gone. Sora was gone and he was empty—and damn did he hate this feeling. He wasn't sure if he could stand it much longer. Not for another two weeks, which was likely how long it was going to take before he'd find Sora again.

He slowly rolled over onto his back, looking up at the sky, watching the clouds roll past. His body was aching again, but it was nothing compared to how his heart ached. Nothing compared to the emptiness that flooded him, making him want to wretch.

When had he become so dependent on Sora?

When had the mere thing of being on separate worlds begun to affect him so?

And why in the worlds did he feel like he was _incomplete?_

He hated it. He hated all of it. He hated being empty. He hated being dependent—especially on _Sora._ He hated Sora for it. Hated Sora for not being here, for not being able to escape Maleficent himself. He hated Maleficent for even needing him. For even _thinking _that_ she_ was supposed to plunge Sora into darkness.

He hated Maleficent for calling him weak. For saying he was incapable of doing his job. For hitting him. For taking Sora. For everything.

"When I see you next, I'll dig my hand into your chest and rip out your heart myself," he muttered.


	185. The Cure

I apologize sincerely for this chapter, and am not to be held accountable for any feels that may occur.

Also, psa, Legend of Korra book 2 is 100000 times better than book 1 and if you at all enjoyed the Last Airbender series you should watch it because it ties back into the original lore and. It's just really good.

(And if you haven't read ch62-65 of Can't Escape you probably want to do that because that explains where Riku's been)

* * *

><p>Riku wasn't entirely sure why he ran to her room instead of using a dark corridor, but maybe it was to give him a little extra time to think. Not even to think. To focus his thoughts.<p>

Parallel universe? Other Namine? Vexen?

None of that mattered.

_None of it matters,_ Riku told himself.

What _did_ matter was Namine was hurting. Having _another_ meltdown. He knew. It was pounding in his head, burning in his brain. They were connected, and he could _feel_ it.

Of course, Namine was probably fine, what with forcing _nine_ meltdowns and all. But… that didn't change anything. He was here now. He could be with her. Hold her through this one—because they still hurt her and, really, nothing had changed.

Except a lot _had_ changed…

Regardless.

He found her where he'd left her when Vexen had dragged him off. Still sitting on her bed, knees up, sketchbook in her lap. Of course, she was clutching at her head, now, biting her lip to hold back screams.

Riku didn't even hesitate. He sat down on the bed next to her, wrapped his arms around her, holding her close and holding her tight. He gently pulled her hands away from her head, squeezing them.

"Nice to have you here…" Namine said. Her voice was quiet and a little strained, but she got the words out just fine. "If there was… anything I missed… while you were gone," she continued. "It was this. You holding me… like this…"

He held her closer, pressing his face into her hair.

"Asking if you're okay would be dumb, huh?" he mumbled.

"I'm alright," she insisted. "It's not exactl—mm!" She went rigid, but a scream never left her mouth.

He took a deep breath. He could feel—see?—a couple of memories flickering at the back of his mind, but he couldn't make much out of them. It was only a blur. A muffled blur. If he'd thought about it, he would've noticed that the link between their minds wasn't as strong now. It'd led him to her, but then it'd gone silent.

She relaxed, then, snuggling up against him. He shifted a little, so he was sitting more comfortably.

"Where'd this one come from, anyway?" he asked.

Namine laughed a little. "Where do any of them come from?" she whispered.

He was silent for a moment.

"You didn't… force this one… did you?" he asked, quietly, haltingly. It wasn't a pleasant question. Or a pleasant thought. But… it was, unfortunately, a possibility.

"Of course not!"

"Had to ask…"

Riku sighed. She was handling this well. Very well. Not that was a bad thing! He just… felt a little useless. She was holding up just fine without his help. She seemed coherent. She didn't _appear_ to be in a lot of pain, either.

He swallowed.

"I'm not… actually… helping, am I?"

"I have no idea," she told him, gently. "I- mg!" She took a few labored breaths, trying to fight back whatever pain she was feeling. "I- I want to say you… are… but…" She sighed, and snuggled closer to him. "It doesn't matter. Whether you help or not. I want you here."

"Mm…"

It was a nice feeling. Being wanted. She didn't care if she didn't need him here. She _wanted_ him here. And that was nice. Really nice.

"I guess we just sit here and wait this out?" he whispered.

"Nothing else we can do…"

There was a faint laughter in her voice. He couldn't help but smile.

To be honest, if you asked him later, he'd never be able to tell you the _exact_ details of what happened next. He couldn't peg the exact moment he made the decision, let alone _why_ he made it, but—of course—he remembered doing it.

Her head was already resting on his shoulder. All he had to do was shift slightly… and then their foreheads were touching. Their breaths were mixing. And he'd intended just stay there. Enjoy the closeness. The meltdown didn't seem so bad this time, and if they could sit here like this while they waited it out, it couldn't be _too_ bad, right?

Except, he shifted, he supposed—or maybe she did. Whatever happened, the next thing he knew, they were kissing. He almost pulled away at first, but then—

_"Riku! Look!" she gasped, pointing._

He knew this memory. But… why was he seeing it now? And… of all memories…

_"Shooting star!" he laughed, grinning, running father out onto the beach._

_ …_why this one?

_He paused, though, once he realized Namine wasn't with him. He turned around to look at her, and saw she was trembling._

_ "What's wrong?" he asked._

_ "What- what if a shooting star hits the islands?" she said, voice cracking with her fear._

_ He broke into a grin. "Don't worry!" he told her, pulling his wooden sword from his belt and brandishing it. It made him look cooler. Braver. (Or so he thought.) "If a shooting star even thinks of coming this way, I'll protect you! Promise!"_

_ She giggled, and then ran to him, looking much happier now. "Okay!" she said, and took his hands, forcing something into them._

_ He looked down at it—the star shaped charm._

_ "What's this?"_

_ "It's my good luck charm."_

Riku pulled away then.

That was- that was _nice,_ but- but that memory…

It wasn't even _real._ And even if it _was,_ it wasn't _her._ It wasn't… It…

"Riku…" Namine said, slowly. She sounded a little surprised. Breathless, even.

He flushed. Ah. Yeah. He was a little breathless, too.

"I'm- I'm sorry," he stuttered. "That was- that was _dumb,_ wasn't it?"

To his surprise, she burst out laughing.

"What?" he asked, confused. He couldn't help but laugh a little himself. Laughter—_her_ laughter—was awfully contagious. "That- I- I get it was _dumb,_ especially since you were—"

"No, Riku. Riku-" She just laughed some more, and then moved and took his face in her hands, pulling him closer to her, touching their foreheads together. There was a ripple of something in his mind, and it felt like- like her. Like her mind touching his. That whole… telepathy thing they had.

"Riku," she said, voice soft and giddy with excitement. "Can you feel it?"

"Feel what?" he asked.

What was he even supposed to be feeling?

"Exactly!" she laughed, and let go of him. "It's gone. It _stopped._" And she just kept laughing, grinning wider than he'd ever seen her grin before.

"What- what stopped?"

He felt a little bad for being so stupid and missing whatever it was she was trying to tell him. Show him.

"The _meltdown!_"

His eyes went wide, and he stared at her.

"No!"

"_Yes!_"

She nodded enthusiastically, continuing to laugh. She clasped her hands together in front of her face, still grinning.

"You're _kidding!_" he said, laughing, too. It seemed so absurd… but…

"No!" she said. "I'm not! I swear, I- It stopped the moment you—" She broke off, giggling. Her cheeks were red and she wouldn't look him straight-on, now. "Ohmygosh!" she gasped. She couldn't seem to stop giggling, either. "Of all things—"

"So you mean that-" he said, trying to wrap his mind around this. "That me- that-" He couldn't say it. Or anything. All the words he wanted to use couldn't get past his tongue. "_How_…?" he managed, finally.

"I- I don't know!" She shook her head, still grinning. Still giggling. "It was just- just like any other meltdown. And then you- and then it was like… like I was overflowing with _happy _memories, and—" She giggled again.

He giggled a little, too. He couldn't help it. Her laughter was so contagious. And of all things to possibly stop the meltdowns, he hadn't exactly expected _this._ It was… absurd. But…

But…

His smile slowly feel.

That's right.

"That memory—" he began. "It's not…"

"I know," she interrupted, gently. "But what's it matter?" She just giggled. "It was cute. _You_ were cute."

"I was five," he argued, feeling a little defensive. "And it's not even a real memory…"

"It doesn't matter," she told him again. Then her brow creased with worry. "Does it?"

"Well—"

"It bugs you."

"I- I…"

"Riku, spill it!" Her voice was firm. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I just-" he sighed. "It's not… not real… and it's- not you. It's _her._ And—" He let out a long breath, then closed his eyes, resting his head in her hair. "You know what?" he mumbled. "It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't?" she asked.

He just buried his face in her hair, running his fingers through it. "No."

And it didn't.

Sure, maybe he did still love the other Namine. But it didn't matter. Because he loved _this_ Namine—_his_ Namine—so much more. She was kind to him and _wanted_ him. _Wanted_ to spend time with him, to just _be_ with him. She _wanted_ him so much that she forced nine meltdowns to sabotage the experiment. Nine! And as much as he was frustrated with her for it, it was nice—_really_ nice—to feel wanted.

Plus, she was wonderful. She painted him a sky. Was always there for him. Her smile was like sunshine and he loved the way she giggled. Her hair was soft and her touch was warm and he just… wanted to spend forever… right… here.

She giggled again, and shifted so her cheek was pressed against his fingers and her face was right next to his. She let out a breath, and it tickled his lips and his nose. He sighed.

"Riku…?" she mumbled.

"Mm?"

"I…" She trailed off.

He started to ask her what she wanted to say, but then she was kissing him. Softly. Slowly. And—

_"Why a sky?"_

Another memory?

_"Hmm? Oh!"_

But this one wasn't his…

_She put the paintbrush down, sighed a little. Wistfully. "Because I think Riku really misses it sometimes. Cooped up in here like he is. He misses the sky… the open air… the freedom of nothing holding you in—holding you back." She sighed again, smiling. "He really misses that."_

There was a flicker, and then it was a different memory.

"_Whoa…"_

_ He was staring up at the ceiling, eyes wide, jaw slack. He scanned the ceiling, again and again, moving so he could see all of it, eyes growing wider and wider as he took it all in._

It was a little weird to see himself from Namine's eyes, but he didn't have much time to think about it. Or care too much about it.

_"You like it?" she asked, tentatively._

_She'd hoped he would, but now that she was showing him…_

_"Like it?" he turned to her, grinning. "Namine, I- wow. It looks… wow."_

_She broke into a grin, too._

_"That's good!"_

_It was great. She'd hoped he'd like it, that he'd love it, but it was even better to see his reaction than to just anticipate it. He was awestruck. Grinning like an idiot._

_"It looks beautiful," he told her._

_"You really think so?"_

_He nodded._

_"Why did you…?"_

_"I wanted to do something special for you. To cheer you up."_

_"You didn't have to."_

_"I never said I had to." She laughed. "I said I wanted to. There's a difference."_

Another flicker. Another memory.

_She was sitting—kneeling—next to his bed, holding his hand tightly. He was asleep. Relatively._

_"Shh," she told him. "I'm right here. That's where I'll always be. I'll- I'll _never_ leave you, Riku. I promise."_

_She was crying for some reason. Warm tears rolling down her face._

_"I swear, I will be with you forever," she whispered. "I'll be there to hold you when you cry. I'll be there when you can't be strong. I'll be there when you need me. I'll always be there. Always, Riku."_

She'd told him about this…

_"I- I said I'd never leave you. That I'd- stay with you… no matter what."_

_She was looking down at her toes, mumbling, either embarrassed or upset—or both. They were— _

He didn't want to think about that.

_"I- I don't… remember that," he told her._

_"I know." And now she looked up at him, eyes fierce. "That's why I'm saying it again. I promise I'll never leave you. That I'll always be by your side. No matter what happens."_

_It was oddly familiar._

Flicker.

_They were on the beach. All was quiet—all but the sound of the waves._

_"I promised you I'd keep you safe," he told her, voice shaking a little. _

_"Riku, I… don't remember."_

_"I know." He grabbed her hand, gently. "That's why I'll say it again. I will protect you. I promise."_

But that wasn't—

_"Whatever's hurting you, I'll make it go away…"_

He…

_"Riku!"_

_He looked down at her. She nudged him in the arm, playfully._

_"What?" he laughed._

_"Nuttin," she said, laughing, too. "You were just spacing out, that's all."_

_"Aw." He wrapped his arms around her, and she squealed a little, surprised. "It's nothing."_

_She smiled. This was where she wanted to be. In his arms._

Flicker.

_"I just… I want to spend forever with you. I don't- I don't ever want to leave you."_

_ "Namine…"_

_ "I know. I can't _really_ never leave you. But If I could… I'd… Spend my every second with you. Spend forever in your arms…"_

Another flicker. Sharper this time.

_"Namine!" Joseph said, sternly._

_"I know," she was practically shouting "I _know!_"_

The memory broke off there, like it was being pushed aside. _Shoved _aside_._ Desperately.

But he didn't miss the thought that came after that one.

_"I can't let them take him away from me…"_

Namine pulled away. Her cheeks were red, and she was breathing heavily. Not that she wasn't smiling a little. She was smiling a lot, actually. Riku just grinned back at her, pulling her a little closer, touching their foreheads together again.

He licked his lips, a little nervously.

"I… uhm…" he said, slowly.

She just giggled.

The door flew open with a _slam!_ as it hit the wall. They both jumped, a little shocked, and out of habit pulled apart from each other. Well. Tried to. Riku had a wall behind him and couldn't go far, and Namine didn't move too much—she moved so she wasn't _close_ to him, but she was still fairly… close.

Joseph was standing in the doorway, staring at them. His eyes were narrowed in concentration, clearly deep in thought.

"You were… in the middle of something," he said, slowly. He looked suspicious.

"Yeah," Riku said. He was torn between feeling a little bitter for having been interrupted and… still being breathless.

Joseph stared a moment longer, and then slowly started to grin, chuckling a little evilly.

"Oh," he said. "So you two were… in the _middle_ of something."

"I- no," Riku stammered, not liking what the tone of Joseph's voice and the look on his face were implying. "We were-"

"Why are you here?" Namine asked, coming to his rescue.

"I- oh!" Joseph's evil expression dropped and was quickly replaced by panic. "That's right. Axel's here."

"That's not… a good thing, is it?" Namine said, slowly.

"Nope."

Riku sighed.

"I'm coming."


	186. A Friendly Duel

whoops I didn't upload on schedule. Thanksgiving plus forgetfulness and junk. Here's your chapter now!

* * *

><p>Joseph lead them through the halls, surprisingly, not in the direction of the Main Room. Riku cast a glance over at Namine, trying to remember why she'd come with. If Axel was here… and it wasn't a good thing… it could be dangerous.<p>

She smiled at him. He smiled back.

"Oi!" Joseph called. "Stop staring at each other and let's go!"

"Sorry," Riku mumbled, focusing his eyes forward again. He was grinning.

Namine giggled.

They were obviously getting close, because now Riku could hear Axel. Well. Not Axel. Vexen, whom he assumed was talking to Axel.

"Why in the worlds does Xemnas _need _me?" Vexen asked. "His Program is perfectly functional!"

They turned the corner, and there Axel and Vexen were. Standing in the middle of the hallway. Vexen had his shield summoned already, likely anticipating a fight. Axel had his chakrams out, though, so maybe he couldn't blame Vexen for anticipating that fight. Oh, and Roxas was here! He had his Keyblade summoned—it was a different Keyblade than the one he'd had last time…—and was twirling it in his hand, clearly bored.

"Heck if I know why he wants you!" Axel said, laughing a little. "I'm just following orders."

Oh was that why he was here? Riku grimaced. He wasn't so sure if he cared enough to help Vexen—

"Roxas!" Axel called.

"Riku!" Namine shouted.

He turned to her, though his brain knew that was the exact opposite way he should be looking. His ears at least registered the sound of Roxas swinging his blade down, and he was somehow able to get his own blade up to block in time.

Riku looked at Roxas, then back at Namine. She rolled her eyes, but was smiling a little. And she wasn't hurt—though how could she be, when he'd blocked the blow? Joseph was giving him a very definite what-the-heck-was-_that?_ look.

"Riku, what are you doing here?" Vexen asked.

Riku would've turned to him, but it was farther than he wanted to move his head.

"I- uh, Joseph said you needed help?" he said.

"I thought you—"

"Roxas, lay off him a little, will you?" Axel said.

"Aw, c'mon, Axel!" Roxas laughed, slowly forcing his weight on Riku, trying to break his defenses. "What's a little friendly _duel_ gonna hurt? You just keep going with the mission!"

Riku frowned at Roxas. Something seemed… different about him? Though, last time they'd interacted, Roxas hadn't been much more than a blank sheet. Now he had memories and personality again. Of course he'd be different.

Roxas backed off, then, snapping into his fighting stance immediately. Riku slowly sunk into his. He didn't exactly wanted to be here. He'd rather still be with Namine…

He turned and flashed her another smile. She smiled back at him, before her eyes went wide.

Riku just barely managed to dodge out of the way of Roxas this time. He looked up, and his eyes went wide, too, as Roxas chucked his Keyblade at him. He brought up his blade to block. Roxas's blade hit with more force than he'd expected, though, and he grunted, stumbling back.

Roxas's blade flew back to his hand, and he caught around the middle. Riku frowned at that. Since when did you—

"Don't get yourself killed!" Namine called. She sounded worried. "Please!"

"I'll try not to!" Riku told her. He was laughing, for some reason. He blocked Roxas, turned and grinned at her again.

"Riku! Focus!" Joseph shouted, exasperated.

Riku just kept laughing.

"Roxas, go a little easier on him!" Axel called. It sounded like he was laughing, too.

The room got very hot all of a sudden. Axel'd sent a large blast of fire in Vexen's direction. Apparently they'd started fighting, too. Riku winced and jumped out of the way of the backlash of Axel's attack, and then had to block Roxas again.

"I thought you were worried about me fighting him!" Roxas laughed. He jumped back, stabbed at Riku.

Riku jumped to the side, brought his blade down. Roxas blocked it, counterattacked. Riku took a couple steps backwards, blocking each of Roxas's strikes. At this rate, Roxas was going to back him into the wall.

He shot a look over at Namine. Grinned. He was having so much trouble keeping his mind off of her. He just wanted to be alone with her again. Sitting next to her… breathing her air… as she grinned up at him, giggling—

"Oh my gosh, Riku, he's gonna kill you!" Namine called. She wasn't exactly giggling, but she didn't seem too worried, either.

"He said it was a _friendly_ duel!" Riku said, turning his attention back to Roxas. He ducked out of the way of the next swing, and took a stab at Roxas. Roxas parried it without a problem.

"Hey!" Joseph piped up. "Maybe I should take Namine out of here, yeah? So she can't get hurt?"

"I'm sure I'll be—" Namine began.

"So we're not in the way," Joseph continued, without dropping a beat. He lowered his voice, directing this next bit at Namine, but Riku still heard it regardless. "So Riku can _focus._"

Riku flushed. It wasn't that he couldn't focus! He just… was focusing on the wrong things? Was focusing on Namine… the thought of them…

He looked over at her, and she smiled at him.

"Please don't die," she said, meeting his eyes. "I—"

"I know!" he laughed, still grinning. "I'll be careful!"

Joseph dragged her off before she could say anymore. Riku found himself a little disappointed… but now she couldn't get hurt. That was a good thing.

Or he told himself that. Sure, it was great that she wouldn't get hurt, but now he felt like smiling less. Now the air around him felt more serious. His heartbeat echoed in his ears.

He rolled out of the way of Roxas's next attack. He botched the roll, though, and it took him longer than it should've to get himself straightened and on his feet again. When he looked up, he was surprised to see Roxas imitating his stance. And, even stranger, he couldn't pick out a single thing wrong with it.

He shook his head, trying to not think too hard about it. He was already spacing out over Namine… He couldn't afford to let _this _distract him any further.

They circled each other for a moment, and Riku couldn't help himself.

"How are you doing that?" he asked.

"It's not hard!" Roxas replied, grinning, smugly.

"Let's see how you fight like that, then!" Riku called.

Just because he could imitate the stance didn't mean he could—

Except he _could_ fight like that. Exactly like Riku. Roxas'd rushed forward and executed a combo, all while imitating Riku perfectly.

Thankfully, Riku'd fought Real Thing enough to be able to anticipate his own attacks used against him, and he was able to block. But that didn't make him any less surprised.

"Holy…"

Roxas just chuckled, smirking.

"Did you see that!?" Vexen shouted.

Riku looked over at him, wondering who he was talking to. Or what he was talking about… But Vexen's eyes were fixed on Roxas. No surprise. Well, it was a surprise that Roxas had been able to imitate Riku's attack pattern perfectly, but not a surprise that it surprised Vexen.

"Of course I saw it!" Axel laughed. "Hey Roxas? Do the- the- the—" he threw his chakram at Vexen "—thing!"

Riku turned to Roxas, dreading this a little. Roxas waited until Vexen'd blocked Axel's chakram. Then, in one swift movement, he chucked his Keyblade at Riku, like he'd done earlier.

Riku rolled out of the way this time.

Roxas caught his Keyblade, and twirled it under his fingers.

"How did you—?" Vexen began. "How is- that shouldn't be—ack!"

Axel'd thrown another large amount of fire at him. Vexen was able to block almost all of it with his shield, though.

This could be a long battle…

Unless.

Riku took a step back and threw himself into Dark Aura.

Vexen yelped. Axel swore. Roxas dodged out of the way of the first strike, but Riku was fairly certain the next one hit. And the next one.

Riku's feet touched the ground, and he grinned, feeling smug.

Roxas was kneeling on the ground, probably in pain.

But then he laughed.

Axel jumped backwards and out of the way.

Riku should've taken that as a cue to get out of the way, too, but all he could do was stare. Roxas straightened and then _he_ launched into Dark Aura. (Well, it looked more light than dark, but the attack was otherwise the same.)

Riku swore and rolled out of the way. And rolled again. And again. And again and again and again. And then he jumped out of the way of all the pillars of darkness—no, pillars if _light_ that shot up from the ground, signaling the end of the attack.

Roxas touched the ground, grinning.

Axel was laughing.

Furious, Riku threw himself at Roxas, shoving darkness into his blade and bringing it crashing down. Roxas jumped out of the way, and then immediately repeated the attack, but with light.

"Idiot—_Riku!_" Vexen called. "He's going to keep doing that! Stop giving him a larger arsenal of attacks!"

"I- oh." Riku frowned. "Yeah, I should've. Thought that… through."

Unfortunately, he hadn't been doing a lot of thinking since this battle had started.

Roxas laughed and pulled the attack again. Mid-air, though, an icicle hit him and knocked him to the ground. He rolled out of it and was on his feet within seconds, but now he was glaring.

"Alright, what's with all this fighting?" he demanded, looking over at Axel. "Just grab him and let's go!"

He seemed impatient.

"That makes two of us," Riku muttered.

He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be with Namine…

Riku shook his head, trying to clear it.

"Easier said than—ng—done!" Axel called, as he skidded backwards. Vexen'd thrown some sort of attack at him. It looked ice-based.

It wasn't working too well.

As much as Riku wanted to focus, he couldn't. He kept seeing Namine in his mind's eye. Smiling. Blushing. Looking up at him, and… and the feel of her lips—

No!

No, he had to focus.

Roxas was rushing at him.

He'd better block…

But _Namine._ And—

And was that _blood?_

That brought him to his senses quickly. There was a sharp pain in his shoulder… but he wasn't bleeding. Roxas was.

In fact, Roxas wasn't just bleeding, he was on the _ground._ Blood was starting to pool around him. It'd already stained his cloak.

Riku took a step back, looking down at his blade. Yup. Bloody.

Roxas groaned and pushed himself up, staggering a little, using his Keyblade for support. There was a large gash in his side, from the looks of it. His cloak kept getting in the way, though. He slowly took his fighting stance, eyes narrowed.

"I'm gonna—_hey_!"

Axel'd picked Roxas up and slung him over his shoulder. Roxas kept protesting, but Axel said nothing. He just looked at Riku, eyes filled with fury.

"I- I didn't mean to-"

Axel looked over at Vexen.

"You were in the World that Never Was?" he asked.

"What?" Vexen was clearly too shocked to answer that.

"Axel, put me _down!_" Roxas shouted.

Axel ignored him. "You were there, right?"

"I- yes!" Vexen nodded.

"You took the external back, didn't you?"

Vexen nodded again. "I- I did. Yes."

"Right." Axel looked over his shoulder at Roxas, who was still struggling and protesting, not to mention still bleeding quite a bit. "Can we use your Repair Program?"

"What? Why would we—"

"Good _frik,_ Roxas! Shut up! You're gonna struggle yourself to death!"

"I'm—"

"Can we use it or not!?" Axel shouted, trying to be heard over the still struggling Roxas. "I'll- I won't report you to Xemnas."

"What!? _Axel!_"

Roxas was ignored again.

"Really?" Vexen asked.

"Yeah."

Axel seemed a little uncomfortable, but he glanced over at Roxas again, and his face hardened into determination.

"Let's go" Vexen said, banishing his shield and starting off.

Axel followed him.

After a moment, Riku slowly followed, too. He figured he might as well make sure Roxas turned out okay. It's not like he'd _meant_ to injure him…


	187. Fixing a Mistake

i don't think this is late. Is it late? Am I late? What year is it?

* * *

><p>"I don't need the Repair Program!"<p>

At the rate Roxas was screaming, Riku was a little surprised no one had come to see what was up. He hadn't stopped screaming. Or struggling, despite still being thrown over Axel's shoulder.

"Roxas, I thought I told you to _shut up!_" Axel said, not that he stopped walking. "And stop _squirming!_"

"But I—"

"A hi-potion isn't gonna fix this!"

Roxas stopped flailing and considered that for a moment.

"And elixir?" he asked, turning as well as he could so he could look at Axel.

"Do you have one of those on hand?" Axel replied.

"…no." Roxas frowned. "You?"

"Nope. Besides, there's no telling that would work either."

Roxas groaned and stopped holding himself up, so that he flopped over Axel's shoulder like a ragdoll. Axel seemed to sigh a little in relief. Riku tried not to chuckle.

Roxas lit up, suddenly, and pushed himself up so he could look Riku in the eye. "Have you got an elixir?"

Riku shook his head, laughing now. "No," he said.

"Drat."

Roxas flopped over again.

Though, now that Riku thought about it, he probably had enough munny to _buy_ an elixir or three. Or thirty.

"Can you put me down, Axel?" Roxas asked. "I can walk!"

"With the rate you're _bleeding?_" Axel laughed. "You must be joking."

Roxas let out a long sigh. After a second he pushed himself up again, and Axel cursed.

"_Ow!_" he said, reaching up with his free hand to feel whatever hurt, Riku assumed. Axel's back was to him, though, so Riku couldn't actually _see_ what he was reaching for.

Roxas cringed. "Was that your nose?"

"Oh my _fu- _mmg…" Axel muttered. "_Roxas!_"

"You gonna put me down?"

"It's gonna take more than a knee to my face to make me do that. But it'd be nice if you'd stop _struggling_ so much."

"Sorry…"

"How much further, Vexen?" Axel called. "And if it's too much farther, why didn't we use a dark corridor?"

"Unfortunately, 7's office is in the sector that's corridor-proofed," Vexen said.

"Of _course_ it is…"

"Hey, Riku?" Roxas asked, looking up at him. He didn't push himself up this far this time, though, probably to try and avoid kicking Axel a second time.

"Yeah?" Riku said, raising his eyebrows a little.

"That was a good 'duel', that's all," Roxas said, grinning.

"Are you kidding?" Riku chuckled. "You were trying to kill me!"

"Yeah, and look where it got me!" Roxas grinned wider. "How bad is it, anyway?"

Riku shook his head. "Don't know. Didn't see much more than the blood."

"I can _feel_ the blood," Roxas said. "But it doesn't exactly _hurt_, y'know? I mean, I know I need to Cure it, but…"

Riku shrugged, then grimaced. His shoulder still hurt. And, unfortunately, it was the _bad_ shoulder. He reached up to feel it, but, no. No blood. It just hurt. Though, if he'd managed to dislocate it again, Aerith was going to be upset…

"Hey, Axel, why are we bothering with the Repair Program, anyway?" Roxas asked. "I've got—dangit! I didn't restock after that last mission!"

"Exactly."

"You sure a hi-potion won't fix it?"

"If you've got one of those, I guess you're free to try, but it doesn't _look_ like a hi-potion's gonna do much good," Axel said. "Besides, why waste the hi-potion when you're going to end up needing the Repair Program, anyway?"

Roxas made a face. "Good point…"

"Here we go!" Vexen said, pushing open a door. "7?"

"What?" 7 looked up from his computer, and his eyes widened when he saw Roxas. "Oh!" He pointed, and Axel set Roxas down on a cot in the corner.

"How bad is—oh!" 7 cringed. "Cloak. Off. I need to see the damage."

Roxas pushed himself up and started pulling his cloak off, wincing a little as he did so. Axel tried helping, but it only took one smack from Roxas for him to get the idea that his help wasn't wanted.

Riku cringed at the sight of the wound. It was about six inches, not to mention extremely bloody. Riku assumed it was pretty deep, but he wasn't close enough to examine it himself. Judging by 7's reaction, though, it had to be bad. Or, at least, not good.

"Eeugh…" Axel muttered, making a face.

Roxas looked down at himself, and his eyes went wide. "Ow!" he hissed. "_Ow._ Frikken… That is a _big—_mmg!"

7 pushed Roxas down so he was lying back on the cot.

"I still don't think I need the Repair Program!" Roxas protested, though he didn't try and sit up again. "Hey! You!" He waved his arm in 7's direction. "You got an elixir?"

"An elixir won't fix it," 7 told him, moving to the computer. "The Repair Program can, of course, but given the size of the injury, we're going to have to reset your data."

Roxas crinkled his nose. "That means I'm gonna black out, doesn't it?"

"Yes," 7 said. "But only for a minute while the computer does its job. And there's no sense griping about it, unless you _want_ me to let you bleed to death."

Roxas just grumbled a response, making himself comfortable on the cot.

"How did you manage to do _that?_" Vexen asked, leaning over towards Riku.

Riku shrugged, flushing a little. "It was an accident?" he said. "I wasn't even… _trying_ to hurt him…" He looked down at the ground, avoiding Vexen's gaze. "I was just trying to block…"

"How did you manage to blotch a block _that_ badly?" Vexen asked.

Riku shrugged again.

"Not that- not that it's necessarily a _bad_ thing," Vexen continued, very quickly. "Mistakes happen to everybody! I just…"

"I botched it really bad," Riku admitted, chuckling a little at himself, not that he looked up. "I just… wasn't focusing…"

"I…" Vexen began. Paused. Was quiet for a while. "Are you… still upset about… about the other universe?" he asked, quietly.

"What?" Riku looked up at him, then he laughed. "Oh!" And he kept laughing. "No I'm. No- completely. Thinking 'bout completely different things."

Funny that, really, only an hour ago he'd been sitting on the shores of Destiny Islands in the other universe. Talking to the other Namine. And now here he was, an hour later, and he and Namine had just— Well…

He could feel his cheeks turn redder at the thought.

Vexen was silent for another long moment.

"About Namine?" he asked. "This Namine?"

Damn, he was perceptive.

Not that Riku couldn't help but smile. He turned further away from Vexen. "What's it matter to you?" he said, trying to sound terse about it. Vexen didn't say anything more on the matter, though Riku wasn't exactly confident as to the reasons why.

"7?" Vexen asked, moving over to the computer. "Can I look at Roxas's file?"

"Let me just finish here," 7 said.

"What are you doing?"

"I…" 7 cast a glance over at Axel.

"I asked him to delete the last fifteen minutes from Roxas's memory," Axel said. He was leaning against the wall, arms across his chest, refusing to look at anyone. "I'm not so sure how well I'd have convinced him not to tell the boss about this… and even then, they have access to his memories. It wouldn't mattered if he told or not. Xemnas would've still found out."

"Couldn't you have told Xemnas you mistook me for a Replica?" Vexen asked. "Or. Sorry. Mistook a Replica for me? Oh. You know what I mean!"

"Not sure if he'd buy it," Axel replied. "And even then, I doubt he'd to be happy about Roxas getting injured. By the way, you might want to delete all this from the security cams."

"Can do," Vexen said.

Axel turned to Riku. "Speaking of… can I ask _how_ you managed this?" He nodded over at Roxas. By this point, Roxas was unconscious, the Repair Program working on healing the wound.

Riku flushed again. "Botched a block," he muttered.

Axel raised his eyebrows. "That badly?"

"I don't know. 'Guess he was closer than I thought he was, or something." Riku just shrugged. It was a pity Axel hadn't been listening when he explained this to Vexen. "Maybe I reacted too slow… tried to block a blow he'd already landed. Hit him instead."

Vexen looked up. "Are you hurt?"

Riku frowned. "No. Don't think so, anyway. My shoulder hurts, but… it's not bleeding."

"Well, I'm done with Roxas," 7 said, stepping away from the computer. "Vexen, you can look at whatever it was you wanted to, and I'll take a look at your shoulder, Riku?"

Riku couldn't see what that'd hurt, so he nodded.

"Wait a minute. The Code's a little different…" Vexen said, a little suddenly.

"It's probably different across universes," 7 told him.

"That's obnoxious…"

"What's Code?" Axel asked.

"The language with which Replicas are built," Vexen explained. He continued on about it, but Riku tuned him out. He knew all of that, anyway.

"Uhm," he said, casting a glance at 7. "Do you think you could… see if it's out of place? My shoulder."

7 frowned at him.

"You think you dislocated it?"

"I. Uhm."

Riku didn't have to say anything, though, because 7 was already feeling his shoulder. His eyes narrowed with concentration after a moment.

"Have you dislocated it before?" he asked.

"Yeah…" Riku said, slowly.

"Ah…" 7 took another minute, then shook his head. "Nope. You're fine. It's a little loose, but it's nothing I can fix. A hi-potion might help…"

Riku just shrugged, but took the hi-potion he was given anyway. It was easier not to argue.

"This copy ability of Roxas's is simply amazing," Vexen was saying. Obviously he'd figured out how to read Code, despite the differences. "It's. Wow. It's a little like Zexion's but… the attacks get stored in his memory and he can use them however many times he wants. There is no limit. He never forgets them. That is one stroke of _genius!_"

"You should tell 26 that," Axel said. "He's the one who did a lot of the extra programming for Roxas."

"I might have to…" Vexen muttered. "Editing a copy ability so it's not pure copying—but copying _and _adapting so that he can perform the attack with his own weapon? It's simply… How did he think of such a thing?"

"You know 26 is with the Organization, right?" 7 asked.

Vexen shot a glare at him. "Well, obviously, and I won't_ actually_ go talk to him. But this is still…"

"Looks like Roxas has finished healing," Axel interrupted.

Both 7 and Vexen looked up. Roxas slowly shifted, stretched, and then sat up. He looked around, a little bit of a clouded look in his eyes. He frowned.

"Um…."

Axel paled. He turned away, his face very tight.

Riku's eyes slowly widened. If 7'd deleted the last few minutes from Roxas's memory, he wouldn't remember how he'd gotten here. And that… was never a pleasant feeling. He felt sorry for Roxas. And a little sorry for Axel, having to figure out how to explain this, but Axel had asked for it.

"Here," 7 said, handing Roxas a new cloak. His old one was obviously soiled. Roxas took it and immediately slipped it on.

"And don't worry too much, Axel," 7 added. "These next few minutes will be a little foggy to him. But you best get out him out of here."

"Got it." Axel looked a little relieved, but only a little. "Come on, Roxas. Let's go." He opened a dark corridor.

Roxas nodded and stepped through. Axel followed, and the dark corridor closed.

"Why'd they need to use our Repair Program, anyway?" 7 asked. "I mean, I get that Roxas was injured seriously and all, but why didn't Axel just take him back to the World that Never Was?"

"We have the external," Vexen said. "Which means we have the database. And the Repair Program doesn't work without the database."

7 shook his head. "Roxas's data isn't on the external, though. It's on—"

"Oh, it's on the database?" Vexen asked. Then he frowned. "But we…"

"The database is still connected to the computer," 7 explained. He laughed a little. "It's just empty of data. It's not the database we have, it's the data."

"So they… didn't need to use our repair program…" Vexen grimaced. "…it's a good thing Axel's gone."

Riku chuckled a little. But, anyway. If they were done here…

"I'm gonna go," he said. He raised his hand in a partial wave, and left. He wanted to… well… spend more time with Namine.


	188. Leaving a Message

Literally just putting author's notes in for aesthetic purposes I don't exactly have anything to say? Do I?

OH WAIT YEAH it was Joseph's birthday three days ago (Dec 6) and there was a little event on my fic's blog about it (tagged "joseph's birthday"). Of course I, heh, forgot it was his birthday or I would've had had an announcement about it on the last chapter. (Like I did for Riku and Namine's birthdays? Did I do that?)  
>Anyway but this is really all in out-of-story context. In-story Joseph's birthday technically won't come up for a while. We're still in April. Whoo.<p>

* * *

><p>Sora slowly opened his eyes, before deciding the sun was too bright and shutting them again. He was on his face in the ground for some reason. And he was… <em>not<em> in Neverland. But he'd known that bit… He'd been—

Was that… something _growling?_

Sora listened for a bit longer, and, sure enough, it _sounded_ like a growl. Not just a growl—an angry dog growl. He should probably get up in that case. No need to lie here and wait for an angry dog to attack.

"I thought I told you to stay away from him!"

Hey, that was _Cloud!_

Sora sat up as quickly as he could, and was a little surprised to see Cloud fighting a… wolf. At least Sora assumed it was a wolf. It looked more like a wolf than a dog, but it was certainly magical. There was a red fire about it, and its eyes were a shade of yellow that can't have been normal.

Cloud bared his blade and the wolf leapt. Its teeth scraped against his sword, before it backed off. They circled each other for a moment, before it leapt again. Cloud wasn't quick enough time, and the wolf sunk its teeth into his arm.

Sora jumped to his feet, summoning his Keyblade and launching himself forward. He brought his blade down on the wolf's back, before whacking it on the head. It let go of Cloud with a yelp and rolled to the side, shaking its head.

Sora frowned at it. Now that he was _really_ looking at it, the red fire looked a little familiar… And it even had a chain around its neck, along with another bound around its hind leg. Could it be…?

The wolf launched itself at him, and he quickly brought up his blade to block. Its teeth closed around his Keyblade. Sora tried to pull it away, but the wolf wrenched its head from side to side, like a dog playing tug-of-war. Sora had to use both hands, but he was able to hold on.

Cloud yanked on the chains around its neck, and it let go, choking a little. Before either Cloud or Sora could attack again, it took a step backwards and was gone entirely.

"You okay?" Cloud asked, lowering his blade as he turned to Sora.

Sora nodded. "I should be asking you that, though," he said, eyes darting to Cloud's arm. It was bleeding, not to mention looked like it was festering with darkness.

"I'm fine," Cloud said, digging a hi-potion out of his pocket and downing it. Sure enough, that was all it took to stop the bleeding. "You sure you're okay?"

Sora nodded.

"Then I need to call Tifa."

Sora nodded again, as Cloud dug his phone out of his pocket.

The phone rang for a bit, then:

"Cloud?"

Tifa's voice wasn't necessarily loud, but Sora could still hear it just fine. He wondered if he should move to give Cloud privacy, but there was only so far he could go, and even then he'd still hear Cloud's side of the conversation. Sora sat down on a nearby crate, anyway. It looked like they were near a campsite…

"I found Sora," Cloud said.

As guilty as Sora felt, he was a little glad he hadn't gone anywhere. The conversation was about him… But since when did _Tifa_ care where he was? Was she searching for him, too? (He could only assume Cloud had been.)

Though… he had disappeared from Hollow Bastion a while ago. It'd probably worried a lot of people.

"Where should we meet?" Tifa asked.

"Hollow Bastion? I guess…" Cloud suggested. "I can't think of a better place. And it's not out of the way…"

"Okay! Sounds great. Me and Kairi will meet—"

"Wait a minute!" Sora jumped to his feet. "_Kairi_!?"

But Kairi was at home! Wasn't she…?

Cloud gave him a look. "Hold on, Tifa," he said, holding the phone away from his mouth.

"Kairi's with her?" Sora asked.

Cloud nodded.

"I thought she was—"

"She's been looking for you."

Sora sat back down. His chest was suddenly very tight. His head was pounding a little.

"She's been… looking for me…?"

But if Kairi was looking for him. Then that… that meant… But she'd been on the Islands! She'd been on the Islands and- though, he supposed… She never did like being left behind. It didn't surprise him that she'd found a way to go to a different world. But… she was _looking_ for him…

That meant she wanted to see him. That meant…

Sora rubbed his head. This was a lot to process.

**_xXx_**

"Cloud?" Tifa asked, getting a little worried. He hadn't said anything yet.

"I- It's fine," Cloud said, quickly. "Uh. Give us a week? I've got a couple of stops to make."

Tifa pursed her lips together, sent a glance over at Kairi, rolling her eyes. Kairi giggled a little.

"Can't you take Sora to Hollow Bastion before that?" Tifa asked. "I guess _you_ don't have to stay or anything. Just drop him off."

"We could go to them," Kairi suggested.

Tifa nodded. "Or we could come to you!" she told Cloud. "Just tell me which world—"

"I think Sora's gonna need some time to adjust to the idea of seeing Kairi," Cloud said, his voice quiet.

Tia frowned.

"You told him?"

"Was I not supposed to?"

Tifa opened her mouth. Closed it. No, there wasn't a problem with telling Sora. She supposed it would've been easier if they hadn't, but it wouldn't exactly have been nice, either. She sighed.

"Alright. One week."

"One week!?" Kairi asked.

"Shh."

"Thanks," Cloud said.

"Uhuh. Hmm?"

Tifa looked down at Kairi, who had poked her to get her attention. Kairi rocked back and forth on her heels, blowing a strand of hair out of her face.

"Uhm. Since I… Since we aren't gonna see Sora for a week," Kairi said. She cleared her throat. "Do you think I could- Could I talk to him?"

Tifa smiled. "Hey Cloud?"

"Mm?"

"Do you think Kairi could talk to Sora?"

"One sec," Cloud said. This was followed by noises of him pulling the phone away from his ear, and Tifa could vaguely hear him tell Sora that Kairi wanted to talk to him. Then there was silence.

Kairi frowned. "What? Does he not want to talk to me or something?"

"Cloud said he was a little nervous about seeing you," Tifa told her.

Kairi crinkled her nose. "What for? I mean I know it's been a while…" She looked down, sighing. "He's. He's being silly." There was a slight catch in her voice.

"Well-" Tifa began.

"Uh oh!" Cloud said. "Heartless!"

He hung up.

Tifa pulled her phone away from her ear and frowned long and hard at it. Not that glaring at it would make a difference, but…

"What?" Kairi asked.

"He said there was Heartless and then he hung up," Tifa said, closing her phone. She rolled her eyes. Typical Cloud.

"Do you think they'll be okay?"

Tifa chuckled. "I don't actually think there's Heartless at all," she said.

Kairi giggled a little, too. "Then why would he-?"

"From the sounds of things, I think Sora's getting a little panicky about talking to you in general, and Cloud's covering for him," Tifa explained, then laughed.

"He's being stupid!" Kairi protested, pouting a little.

Tifa shrugged. She couldn't help with that, she could only agree. Boys sometimes. She started for her pack so she could put her phone away, but paused, taking a second look at Kairi. Kairi was sitting on the ground now, drawing in the dirt with her finger, all hunched over. Tifa moved closer to her, slowly squatted down so they were roughly eye level.

"Hey," she said. "What's up?"

"Nuttin'," Kairi muttered, fixing her eyes very firmly on the ground.

That didn't _seem_ like nothing.

"Tell you what," Tifa said, dialing Cloud's number. "I'm gonna call Cloud back. He's gonna to let it go to voicemail. You're gonna leave a message for Sora, okay?"

Kairi looked up at her, staring for a moment. "Uhm- okay." She took the phone from Tifa. "What do I say?"

"Whatever you want."

Kairi flushed. "I- I mean to Cloud."

"Oh." Tifa shrugged. "Just let him know it's you and that the message is for Sora. He should know to pass it on." She stood up. "I guess I'll give you some privacy, kay?"

Kairi just nodded.

**_xXx_**

"Sora? Kairi wants to talk to you."

Sora looked up. Cloud was offering the phone out to him. He gulped.

"What- what do I say? What would I say? I- I…" he trailed off, clutching his head. There were so many things he needed to say to Kairi. Where would he start? Where was he _supposed_ to start?

Cloud shrugged. "Let her do the talking?"

Sora sat there for a minute more. Kairi wanted to talk to him. But. But what was she gonna say? Wasn't she mad at him? Wasn't she—

"I can't," he said, shaking his head. "I can't."

He was scared to death.

Cloud nodded, understanding. He cleared his throat, put the phone up to his ear, and very convincingly shouted "Uh oh! Heartless!" before hanging up.

Sora looked up at him, laughing a little.

"I wasn't going to be able to talk Tifa out of it," Cloud explained, pocketing his phone.

"…thanks," Sora said.

"Yeah." Cloud nodded. "You think you can talk to her in a week, though? Or am I gonna have to cover for you then, too?"

Sora let out a long breath. This was all coming down fast on him but. But he should see Kairi… talk to her… Just. Not now.

"I- I think I can do that," he said. A week was enough time to think over what he was gonna say. "Yeah." He nodded, confidently. "I can do that."

Besides, he had a better hold of his darkness now—or, he did for the most part. And he hadn't seen his Shadow in ages… He was a little less worried about those things hurting Kairi—though the risk was still there. But it didn't matter. Between Cloud and Tifa they'd be able to keep him in check.

And he could see Kairi again…

"Oh…" Cloud grimaced, pulling his phone back out. "Tifa's calling back. She probably didn't buy the Heartless thing."

"You sounded convincing to me!" Sora told him.

Cloud shrugged. "I'll let it go to voicemail." He pocketed the phone again. "Anyway, uh. We should maybe get going?"

Sora got to his feet, nodding. "Yeah! Where to?"

"I gotta couple errands to run," Cloud said. "You don't mind coming with, right?"

"Beats being on my own!" Sora replied, smiling a little. "Besides, I lost my star shard. I kinda don't have any other means of transport."

"Good thing I found you…"

"Tell me about it."


	189. Bound

I SAW DESOLATION OF SMAUG LAST NIGHT and it was good. Of course we (me and a few friends) went to a midnight premiere and sat in the theater for five hours (three beforehand, two nearly three for the movie) but it was good and stuff! Also the scenery was _gorgeous_ and the 3D wasn't too bad. Yeah.

ALSO WHOOPS I deleted another bit here which is basically just saying that hey there are some fun fic facts along with a couple of update-y related stuff in the blog post that went up with this chapter.  
>(Unless you go look sometime after christmas, said post should be on the front page of the blog.)<p>

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><p>The sun was starting to set. The sky was going dark. Sora's Shadow let out a long breath. He hadn't moved since he'd lied down here, oh, a few hours ago. After Maleficent had… had <em>insulted<em> him. Called him _weak._ Light-stained…

He closed his eyes, trying not to think about that. Trying to block out all his thoughts. Maybe if he quieted himself enough, he could hear Sora again.

All he ended up hearing was a soft growl. He knew that growl—it was his wolf. He sat up, a little eagerly.

"You find anything out about Sora!?" he asked.

The wolf stood in front of him, low to the ground, lips drawn back in a snarl. Its eyes were glazed yellow—though they seemed to be looking straight at him. He scrambled to get up—

The wolf leapt at him, going straight for his throat. He rolled out of the way. The wolf shook its head, recovering, then leapt at him again. It pinned him to the ground this time, sniffing him. He coughed. Its breath smelled.

"Oi!" he shouted, pounding it on the nose. "I thought I told you not to—"

'You smell different,' it said, snorting a little. Its paws pressed against his chest.

"I- what?"

He blinked a few times, staring at it. What did _that_ mean? And- and why wasn't it attacking him anymore? Usually it'd growl and struggle whenever they were in this position. Try and take his head off. But now it was just more interested in sniffing him.

'Almost like…' It took a step back, sniffing his chest, pushing his jacket aside with its nose.

"What are you… _ahg!_"

The wolf plunged its teeth into his chest. Its jaws closed around his heart, a growl in the back of its throat. He struggled, trying to push it off, sit up, _something. _It only sunk its teeth in farther, and then tugged, gently.

Even the slight tug was agonizing. He screamed, back arching with the pain.

Having your heart ripped out of your body _wasn't_ a pleasant feeling.

"Let- let go of me!" he shouted, kicking at it, hoping to stop it before it could finish the job.

To his surprise, it listened. It let go of his heart and after a bit of hesitation got off of him, too. Its eyes were narrowed, though, and it was still growling. He sat up, frowning at it.

"Why did you…?"

Why had it listened?

'You forget. I am _Bound_ to you.' It looked about ready to leap at him again.

He slowly smirked. "That's right… I forgot about that!"

'You always do.'

It flicked its tail angrily, but it'd stopped growling. When it blinked, its eyes had returned to their normal gold color, instead of the blank Heartless-yellow. It nipped at his fingers affectionately before sitting down.

'Forgive me.' It looked at the ground, avoiding his gaze. 'I got a little… carried away.'

Sora's Shadow couldn't help but chuckle a little. As annoying as this wolf was, at least it was… nice to him. Sort of. In a way. The apology was appreciated, at the least.

"Don't worry about it," he told it, scratching the wolf behind the ears. "I'm still here, aren't I? Besides, nothing like a, uh, near-death experience to keep you going, ah?"

The wolf didn't say anything.

He let out a long breath, trying not to think too hard about what had just happened. The wolf attacking him only further proved it… He had a heart. But… _shouldn't_ have one… It was... contradictory, at the least. He…

The wolf was sniffing him again, its nose tickling against his fingers.

'You smell different…' it repeated.

He crinkled his nose at it. "What are you talking about?" he asked, laughing a little. It didn't make any more sense to him than the last time it'd said that.

'Something about your scent,' the wolf said. 'It's changed. It's…'

It trailed off, sniffing his fingers a moment longer, then licking his hand.

He pulled his hand away, a little disgusted, wiping the slobber off on his pants. The wolf got up and started pacing around him, once, twice, and then the other way, sniffing him as it went. 'Something's definitely different,' it said, firmly. 'But I can't place… what…'

He got to his feet, not liking having it pace around him like this.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" he demanded, feeling a little twitchy.

'Exactly what I said.' The wolf chuckled, eyes glinting. 'Your scent has changed. What do you _expect_ it to mean?'

"But why would my scent change?"

'Something about _you_ changed. What else?' It sniffed him again. He pushed it away with his foot. 'It's nothing major, if you're worried. Just a slight change… _almost_ undetectable.'

He slowly glared. That would mean…

"Where's Sora?" he asked, not wanting to be on this subject for any longer. His heart thudded in his chest, mockingly.

'I don't know.'

"Then why are you here?"

It sniffed at his feet, ignoring the question for a long while.

'I got him away from that witch, like you asked,' it explained, off handedly. 'I don't believe you asked me to do anything else.' It looked up at him, eyes wide. 'Did you?'

He frowned. No, he supposed he hadn't, exactly. But hadn't there been more to the plan? And… if Sora was no longer with Maleficent…

Sora's Shadow's eyes went wide. "Wait a minute! If he's not with Maleficent anymore, then…" He stopped, listened, _hard._

'Then… what?'

"Shush!"

Where was it? Why couldn't he feel it!? His connection with Sora—if Maleficent was out of the way, that meant it should've been restored. Right?

He ran his hands through his hair, pounding at his skull. "C'mon!" he shouted. "C'_mon!_ Why isn't it _there?!_"

There was no familiar pulsing at the back of his mind. No trickle of Sora's thoughts. Nothing. He cried out in anger, throwing a blast of darkness at the ground.

'You haven't seen Sora, yet,' the wolf said, calmly. It didn't even look at the smoking patch of ground not three inches from it.

He glanced over at it, then cocked his head to the side, thinking. That's right. He hadn't been anywhere near Sora since this morning. And, besides, if he'd only just been taken from Maleficent—

"Where's Sora?" he demanded.

'Like I told you last time you asked, I don't know,' the wolf replied.

He narrowed his eyes at it.

"I don't trust you…"

'Then order me to tell you.' There was a glint in its eye as it spoke. 'Being Bound, I can't exactly lie if it's an order.'

He glared at it for a moment longer. It must've been pretty damn confident if it was _telling_ him to order it around.

"Tell me what happened when you found Sora," he said, slowly. "Every detail."

The wolf snorted. Shook its head. Clearly it hadn't been expecting _that_ order. There was a growl to its voice when it spoke.

'I- I found him in Neverland. He was running from the witch. I tackled him, pulling him between worlds…' It snorted again. 'Unfortunately, the effort knocked him unconscious. I was just trying to- to-' It paused, barked angrily, twitching a little.

Sora's Shadow watched with amusement.

'I- _dammit_ I took a nap, alright?' It glared. 'I was tired. But he wasn't going to wake up without me _noticing_. I was _laying_ on him-' twitch '-close to-' twitch 'three feet away from him!'

It pawed at its nose, clearly discomforted. 'I'm a light sleeper. He would've woken me up! Anyway… That's when… _Cloud_ found us.' It growled something very foul. 'He didn't seem too worried about me, but then he tried to wake Sora up. I tried to fight him off…'

"He was too strong for you?" Sora's Shadow asked, chuckling a little.

'No!' It protested. 'He was- He- Sora woke up and they teamed up against me! _And_—' it added, sharply, before it could be interrupted. 'I was _tired._ Dragging people between worlds is tiring work, especially when it's against their will! There was no way I was going to be able to subdue Cloud long enough to grab Sora.'

Sora's Shadow let out a long breath. Alright then.

"Lazy," he muttered.

'You should _thank_ me.'

"For what?" he asked. It glared. He chuckled. "Alright. Thanks for getting him away from Maleficent. Not so much thanks for not dragging him to me immediately!" He bopped it on the nose. "You can find him again, right?"

'Unfortunately, his scent's gotten muddled. Mixed with Cloud's.'

"If you find Cloud, you find Sora though, from the sounds of it!"

The wolf looked at him, long and hard.

'It's a possibility. Though it's a wonder I can find anything anymore—all you people hitting my nose has messed with my sense of smell…'

"Oh, quit your whining and go find Sora!" he laughed.

It slowly lay down, yawning. 'I think a nap is a good id—'

"Oi! That was an order!" he interrupted. "I thought you couldn't refuse those, being Bound?"

It jumped to its feet, barking sharply at him. Its eyes narrowed, and a growl rumbled in its throat. 'I simply—'

"I gave you an order."

The growling stopped short, and it bowed its head low to the ground. 'My apologies,' it barked, not sounding sincere in the slightest. 'I'll get right on that, _Master._'

"Good."

It paused, though, sniffing at his feet one last time. After a moment it yipped in surprise—though it almost sounded like laughter. It looked up at him, eyes glinting, lips drawn back in a canine smirk.

'And who are… _you_ Bound to?' it asked.

"What?" His heart pounded. "No one!"

The air around him suddenly felt very thick, and it was hard to get it into his lungs. What was that damn wolf talking about? He- he wasn't _Bound._ He- _no!_ He…

But the memory played back in his head in flashes. Looking at Kairi. Wanting to kill her. Changing his mind, deciding to—

But he'd stopped. Because he…

The wolf looked at him, eyes fixed on his, grinning.

'Are you sure about that?' it asked, before turning and leaving.

He fell to the ground, clutching his chest. No. _No!_ He wasn't _Bound_ to anyone!

And he _certainly_ wasn't bound to—

"_Dammit,_ Sora! Just let me _find_ you already, so I can be done with this pitifulexistence!"


	190. Accusations

Not much to say but I did update my profile! Extra links to fic-related stuff are now littered through it, and I linked everyone to my 8tracks profile (my username is, no surprise, rarmaster). Just for anyone curious! (I have posted a lot of fic-related mixes tho.)

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><p>"Heeey there he is!" Joseph said, as Riku stepped into Namine's room. "Told you he wouldn't be much longer!" He nudged Toby in the ribs. "You owe me fifty munny."<p>

"I don't _have_ any munny."

"Then why'd we bet with it?"

Namine laughed. Riku chuckled with her.

Joseph, Toby, and Namine were sitting on the floor, playing what looked like a game of Go Fish. They were using map cards, though. And… it didn't look like they had very many actual matches in the deck, given what everyone's hands looked like.

"You get things sorted out with Axel?" Joseph asked. "Why was he here, anyway? And Roxas? And what about Vexen? Is he okay? Wasn't he—"

"Too many questions," Riku interrupted. "But yeah, things got sorted out. It had something to do with Xemnas. I think. Roxas attacked me right away and _wait a minute!_ You were there!"

"Oh right." Joseph made a face, slowly lowering his cards as he thought about that. "But I didn't know if things got sorted out! It's a good thing they did." He looked down at his cards, grimacing a little. "You want us to go, huh?"

"Well-"

"Let us finish the game," Namine said. Joseph grinned over at her, and Toby giggled. Riku sighed. He couldn't exactly argue now.

Namine smiled. "I'm assuming neither of you have twos, right?"

Joseph shook his head. Toby had to check, but he shook his head, too. Namine drew a card from the deck.

"Ha!" she exclaimed. "I win!" She laid down her cards, revealing four twos.

"Aww man," Joseph sighed, gathering the cards. "Well, alright. I guess we'll go…"

"Riku could always play!" Toby suggested.

"Nah, he'd cheat!"

"I'm not sure if I could cheat at Go Fish…" Riku said, slowly.

"Do you wanna play?" Namine asked.

"Ah… not really…"

Joseph pouted. "Figures."

"I'll make him play another time," Namine hissed, though she wasn't very discreet about it. Riku assumed she wasn't trying to be. "Maybe tomorrow?"

"Haha, okay! Maybe I can get a better deck of cards by then… C'mon Toby!"

Joseph slipped out of the room, Toby not far behind him.

"What was that about?" Riku asked, sitting on the ground next to Namine.

Namine shifted a little, scooting so she was closer to him. "They wanted to play cards."

"No. I mean about the deck."

"Oh. It's just a bunch of cards Joseph has gathered. The only matches he's got are twos, though, so whoever gets all four automatically wins." Namine laughed. "It's fun."

"Right." He looked down at her, cleared his throat. In the excitement of fighting Roxas and then getting Roxas fixed, well… the mood they'd had before was long gone. Not that it was a problem. He just didn't know what to do now. It felt like there was some sort of… tension, between them. A heat in the air. Between their skin.

"You know what we should do?" she asked, suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"Tell Alpha about this. About. The meltdowns. Stopping them." Her words were quick, and there was a grin on her face again.

Riku slowly raised his eyebrows. "Should we… tell him about—?"

"No!" She shook her head, and then shook it again, more vigorously. "No! Not about- no." She swallowed. "But we should tell him that we've figured out how to stop them."

"We have?"

Namine looked down, fingering her skirt. "Well… like I said. When you- when you kissed me." She coughed. Her cheeks were flushed. "It was like… all these happy memories just _filled_ me. And, I suppose, if I can try and do that again. Pull up happy memories to counteract a meltdown…"

"Happy memories? You sure?"

"Well." She shrugged. "I don't see why just _kissing_ you stopped the meltdown! It had to be the memories. Right?"

He shrugged, too. It wasn't like he had any clue about this. He wasn't the expert here.

"You… uh… think that'll work, though?" he asked. "Using happy memories to stop a meltdown?"

She shrugged again. "I dunno. I- it seems _logical_ that… it would… I- I _hope_ it does." She cleared her throat. She still wouldn't look him in the eye. "I don't want the- don't want _kissing_ you to be the only way to stop them."

He frowned a little, not sure if he understood that.

"Why not?"

"Well- 'cause- 'cause then it wouldn't be special anymore…"

Even though her head was bent low and her hair was in her face, not to mention she was looking away from him, it wasn't hard to tell that she was blushing. Hard. His face felt hot, too, and he cleared his throat, awkwardly.

"You- you think it was… _special?_"

She just nodded.

"Well- y- yeah. It- uhm. But I think-" She coughed again. "I think if it was the only to stop the meltdowns. For you to kiss me. We'd- we'd get tired of it pretty quickly. And I don't… want that to happen…"

He was silent for a long while, just letting those words sink in.

"You… really think we'd get tired of it?"

She nodded.

"'Cause it'd become routine. A nuisance. Just like the meltdowns. And I don't think I'd like that very much…"

He thought about that for a bit. Then, slowly, he scooted closer to her.

"Tell you what," he said, quietly. "I'll find a way to keep them special."

She chuckled and looked up at him, meeting his gaze. "And how you gonna do that?"

"Not sure," he admitted, looking away from her. "But… maybe there are a couple more ways to stop the meltdowns. That don't. Um. Involve kissing. I'm sure I could help you, y'know, think of good memories. That's what you said would stop 'em, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, uhm, maybe if you…" He shifted a little. "That connection of ours? The telepathy thing?"

She nodded.

"If you- you seem to be in charge of it." He swallowed. "So if you could, ah, open it to me. When- when you're—"

"No!" she shouted, eyes wide with horror. "When I'm having a _meltdown?_" She shook her head. Shook it again. "I couldn't. I _won't!_"

He blinked a few times. "Ah- uhm. Wh- why not?"

He didn't realize it was that big of a deal…

"Because- because then all the memories are gonna go to you," she explained. "And- and you won't. You won't be able to…" she trailed off, fumbling for words.

He frowned. "Are you saying I'm… you don't think I'm _strong_ enough to—"

"_No._" Her voice was firm. "No, Riku. I think- I _know_ that- that these are _your _memories. The ones that _hurt_ you and the ones that will hurt you the _most_. I've seen what they do to you in your nightmares. I- I couldn't force a meltdown on you. I could never. I _would_ never."

"I—" he began, but wasn't sure how to argue. It was… sweet of her. In a way. But… he wanted to say of course he could handle it. Because he could and he would put up with anything for her. Except…

"Riku. I _won't._" Namine was even firmer this time, giving him a stern look, like she'd sensed what was on his mind. "I'm sorry but I _won't._ And it wouldn't help, anyway. All the memories would just go to you. And it wouldn't stop it for me, they'd just keep flooding from me and into you and then we'd _both_ be in pain and it's _not worth it._"

He sighed.

Except he didn't have any control over this. Their telepathy-connection-thing was entirely dependent on her. If she said no, then it was a no.

"We should… go talk to Alpha, yeah?" he asked.

She smiled. "Yeah."

**_xXx_**

It didn't take them long to find Alpha—he was sitting in the Main Room, his nose buried in a book.

"Alpha?" Namine asked.

"Do you see this?" He held up the book. "This means I'm busy. You're going to have to wait."

"It's important…"

"And? I'm twenty pages away from the ending. It can wait."

Namine sent a wry look at Riku. Rolled her eyes. "We figured out how to stop my meltdowns," she said.

That got Alpha's attention. He looked up, not looking happy, but definitely giving them his full attention. "And how, exactly, do you stop them?"

Namine broke into a grin. "Happy memories! To counteract the bad ones!"

Alpha raised his eyebrows, slipping his fingers under the next page of his book. "Do you really think that'll work?" His tone clearly suggested _he_ didn't think so.

"Ah…" Namine nodded. "Yes. I'm pretty sure it will. But we can't be positive until we actually try, y'know?"

"Right…" Alpha looked down at his book again, flipped the page, flipped it back. "Ah, and, _how_ did you figure this out?"

Namine looked down at her toes to hide her blush. Riku didn't look directly at Alpha, either.

"It was just… a thought…" Namine said, quietly. She cleared her throat. "We- we really won't be sure if it works until I actually. Y'know. Manage to throw off a meltdown with happy memories."

"I thought the point was to prevent them entirely…" Alpha said.

"Throwing them off works, too," Riku replied. "Besides. We haven't exactly figured out how to prevent them entirely, anyway. Separating us really didn't work"

"Mm…" Alpha looked down at his book again. "There's just… one thing. Namine?"

"What?"

"I… thought you had a meltdown," he said, casually. "About half an hour ago."

Namine swallowed. "I… did…"

"Yeah," Riku added. "That's when we. Uhm. Figured out how to—"

Alpha looked up, straight at Riku. "So you actually stopped one?"

"Uh… yeah…" Riku stammered, swallowing. Now that Alpha was looking at him like that, he felt nervous all of a sudden. He hoped Alpha didn't ask further about how they managed to stop the meltdown. He'd rather not mention that he and Namine had kissed…

Alpha slowly turned his gaze to Namine. He looked at her long and hard, then said:

"You didn't, I don't know, force that meltdown, did you? I'd assume that'd make it easier to throw off."

"I- what?" Namine said. Her voice was strained, though. "I- no! No! It's- I don't even think it's possible to-" She sighed, realizing it was a lost cause. "…you knew?"

Alpha nodded. "It was obvious after the fifth."

Namine let out a long breath. "Ah… maybe nine was a little too much…" she muttered.

Riku sent her a look. "You think?"

"I just… wasn't sure… how convincing any of them were. I don't know." She shrugged. "But I know I had three!" She nodded triumphantly, then reconsidered. "Two that I didn't force!"

Alpha just raised his eyebrows.

Namine sighed. "Okay," she admitted. "I'm positive about one. I _think_ there was a second one that was real, and possibly a third, but they all… blurred together… …I shoulda listened to Joseph…"

"As unfortunate as it is, Namine, I can't exactly trust you," Alpha said.

"But it- I know I had one!" Namine insisted. "I know I did. I- if that wasn't real I- I wouldn't have seen that memory. I never would have." She let out a long breath. "Because to force a meltdown I have to throw myself into Riku's memories. And I didn't know about that memory! And even if I had I- I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have gone into it. Not on purpose. I- I wouldn't. I would never have touched that memory. Any of those memories."

Riku looked over at her, worried. "Which memories…?"

"Later."

Riku bit his lip. He had a nasty feeling he knew which memories she was talking about and- and he'd hoped that she hadn't seen it… Hoped so hard.

"Namine," Alpha said. "I'm sorry. But I—"

"Fine! We'll run your stupid test again."

"No we won't," Riku interrupted. "I want to try what me and Namine figured out. It seems more promising. Besides…" He looked at Namine, lowered his voice. "I wouldn't wanna make you do anything you didn't want to…"

She beamed up at him, then frowned a little. "Would you say that if we were sure separating us stopped the meltdowns, though?"

"Does it matter?"

She chuckled, but said no more.

"You never did… answer my question," Alpha said. "How did you figure out that… happy memories stop a meltdown?"

"It- uh-" Namine began. She'd gone bright red again.

"A-accident," Riku said, coughing a little.

"Accident?" Alpha didn't seem too convinced, but didn't press the matter. "You did stop one, then?"

"I- sorta…" Riku muttered.

"'Sorta'?" Alpha asked.

"It. Yes?" Namine shrugged. "I'm- I'm going to say yes but—"

"But we have to do it twice," Riku said. "Regardless. To make sure it wasn't a fluke."

Alpha slowly nodded. "Of course… Now… is that it?"

"You can get back to your book," Namine laughed.

Alpha didn't need to be told twice.

"That wasn't too hard," Riku laughed, as they started off.

Namine didn't respond. She'd gone suddenly very quiet, her eyes fixed on the ground.

"…Namine?"

"Do you… still wanna go to Hollow Bastion?" She asked, looking up at him. "Because we could technically go now… No one's _keeping_ us here."

He chuckled. "I know. But that's okay. I really only just left. I don't think Aerith'd mind if I came back right away, but I'm sure she could use something of a break…"

"I didn't think family needed breaks from each other."

"Well-" Riku paused. That was… probably right. He smiled a little. "We'll go in a few days. Oh."

"Hmm?"

"I should see how much munny I have," he said. "I owe Aerith a plate."

Namine laughed. "What for?"

"I may have broken one…" he replied.

"You're gonna need to tell me about what happened while you were gone," she said, nudging him. "Sounds like you had a lot of fun."

"Yeah, well…" He made a face. "Why don't we head to your room and I'll tell you about it?"

"Okay!"


	191. I Love You

Hello everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful holidays and have a wonderful New Year!

**Edit: **I forgot to mention, but if you haven't read Can't Escape ch62-65 or so I forget the numbers exactly but it's somewhere in there (the Crossover) then you'll be a liiiiiiitle confused. Not saying you have to read them just letting you know that that's what Riku references in this chapter.

* * *

><p>They ended up sitting in Riku's room (because his ceiling looked like the sky). He ended up lying down on his bed (largely so he could look at the ceiling), and she sat at the end near his legs. Actually, she was nearly sitting <em>on<em> his legs, given how small the bed was. He didn't mind though.

"So—"

"Hey, wait," Namine interrupted. "Before you tell me about Hollow Bastion, what'd Vexen want you for?"

"…oh" He grimaced.

"Do you not want to talk about it?" she asked. She sounded worried.

He didn't look at her, just continued staring at the ceiling, tracing his eyes over the paint strokes. He took a deep breath. No. It didn't matter.

"It's not a problem," he said.

"Okay," Namine shifted on the bed a little. "So. What'd he want?"  
>"He, well," Riku cleared his throat. "Dragged me to a parallel universe."<p>

"Fun."

She didn't sound very enthused by the idea, though.

"…I talked to Namine," Riku said. "The other Namine. The—"

"I know who you're talking about." She laughed a little, but it didn't last very long. The room was silent for a moment. Completely silent, besides their breathing. Namine hadn't started drawing yet, so the familiar scratch of her pencil against paper was absent.

"…how did that go?" Namine asked, finally.

"Alright." Riku narrowed his eyes up at the ceiling, staring at one of the clouds. "It wasn't exactly just me and her. Sora and Kairi—from that universe—and Real Thing were there. I mean. The Real Riku."

She laughed again. "I knew who you meant."

Riku pushed himself up a little, using his elbows to hold his weight, so he could look at her better. "I didn't think I'd talked about him a lot though," he explained. "So I wasn't sure if you knew I called him that or not."

"Riku, how many memories of yours do you have where you interact with him? _And_ refer to him as that?"

"Good point," he chuckled. He shrugged, flopped back down onto the bed. "But I didn't think I had that many…" He frowned a little, as he thought about it.

"Does it matter?"

"No. Sorry."

Another pause of silence.

"What'd you talk about?" Namine prompted.

"They were just curious about what happened to me," he said. "And… stuff…"

"Stuff?"

"Stuff in their universe." He shifted to put his hands behind his head, only to find there was a wall on his right. Also, putting his left hand behind his head pulled his shoulder in a weird way. He sighed and folded his hands over his stomach instead. "They've been dealing with someone named Xehanort…?"

"Yeah?"

Now he could hear the scratch of Namine's pencil against paper.

"Yeah. You know Xemnas?"

"Of course."

"And Ansem?"

Pause.

"The guy Sora dealt with?"

Riku nodded. "Yeah. Apparently they're the Heartless and Nobody of a dude named Xehanort. And once they die he can come back as a full person…" He grimaced. He didn't like that thought. Or the thought of any of this universe's Organization coming back. The only person he'd be happy to see was this universe's Vexen…

"That sounds bothersome… It'll happen here?"

"Most likely. And the rest of the Organization might come back."

"Well that's definitely no fun."

Another pause. The sound of Namine flipping to a new page. He sighed.

"Larxene's back, y'know," he said. His voice was quiet. He clenched his fists.

Namine stopped drawing, and her weight shifted.

"In the other universe?" She sounded worried.

"Yeah."

"What's… _that_ got to do with… anything?" She asked it haltingly, her voice catching in a few places, like she was trying to hold something back. Probably that worry…

Riku swallowed. "Do you think… scaring her is a bad idea?"

"…scaring her _how?_"

"I don't know." Riku shrugged a little, though it was weird to do when he was lying down. He didn't sit up to look at Namine, though. He didn't want to. "But. I've got all this… extra power, y'know? That extra darkness? I bet I could figure out a way to scare her with it."

Namine continued to be silent for a long while.

Riku swallowed again, feeling a little nervous about what she was going to say when she finally did speak.

"You… you sure you want to do that?" she asked.

"I dunno. Doesn't she deserve it?"

"I…" Namine paused yet again. "That… doesn't mean it's a good idea. I mean, are you sure you can take her?"

"Why is everyone so worried about that?" He groaned, throwing his hands up in the air. "You all seem to think I'm not smart enough to just drive my blade through her gut when things go bad! If things go bad." He rubbed his temples.

"I just…" She shifted again, bumping against his legs this time. "I don't want you getting hurt, and I don't think putting yourself anywhere near _her_ is a good idea, regardless of why."

He frowned, noting the catch in Namine's voice at the word _her._

"Well…" he trailed off. Sighed. "There is a lot going on over here. I'll have to worry about it later. Once we've got stuff taken care of."  
>"Right."<p>

Namine's voice was tight.

Silence continued, interrupted only by Namine tapping her pencil against her sketchbook. Riku bit his lip, mulling it over a little more. What was the harm in him killing Larxene, anyway? And what was wrong with giving her a taste of her own medicine while he was at it?

"What… else did you talk about?" Namine asked, suddenly.

"Nothing really."

But there was…

He sighed, pushed himself into a sitting position, running a hand through his hair.

"But… I guess I should… tell you… something."

Namine looked up, giving him her full attention. She was hunched over a little, sketchbook in her lap, pencil still tapping against it every few seconds, but her eyes were on him.

"Yeah?"

He pulled his knees to his chest. Cleared his throat.

"It's about… Namine."

"…yeah?"

He cleared his throat again. "Well… I…" He coughed. His throat was tight. His heart was pounding. He couldn't do this. How could he? Tell her that he still…? No. The mere thought was suffocating. What if she got mad? What if she—

_But I have to, _he told himself, clenching his fists, pretending he could steel his nerve merely by doing that. He took a deep breath, forcing it into his lungs. _One. Two. Three._ He let the breath out. _Four. Five. Six._ One more breath. _Seven. Eight. Nine._

He could do this. She deserved to know.

"The thing is…" he said, but his voice still cracked. "A- about her… I…"

"I know," Namine whispered.

"I- you do?"

She nodded. She was hunched over a little more than she had been before. "Yeah. I'm sorry." She wouldn't look him in the eye, either. "I didn't- I didn't mean to- but those memories? Of you… and her… and…" She swallowed. "That's how I know. That one of those meltdowns wasn't forced. Because I didn't know these memories existed, and even if I did, I wouldn't have touched them. I never would have, because I knew you wouldn't want me to."

The memories.

For a second he had been relieved, but now it was just harder to breathe. Not only did she _know,_ but she'd _seen_. She'd—

_"Why?"_

_ "Because I—"_

No.

"I- it's- it's okay," he told her, trying to ignore the memory. "I'm not- not mad."

"I didn't…"

_"You don't love me."_

_ "But I—"_

He ground his palms into his eyes, as if that would erase the images from his mind. He wanted to erase the memory—forget that awful moment. Why wouldn't it go away? It didn't matter to him anymore. It didn't—

_"None of this is real. You never—"_

"Riku!"

Namine pulled his hands away, gripping them tightly. He hung his head, so she wouldn't see his tears.

Why couldn't he have a simple conversation about this? Why did he have to start crying? Was he _really_ so upset about this whole thing? What was _wrong_ with him? It didn't matter. _She_ didn't matter. Why was he still crying about it?

"Shh…" Namine whispered, gently taking his face in her hands. "Shh, it's okay."

She kissed him on the top of the head, and the memory slowed, stilled, stopped. Another one—just flickers—replaced it.

_"Your feelings… they were real."_

_ "I lied. I had to… …would only end badly for both of us."_

He knew those words. Namine—the other Namine—had spoken them only hours ago. He took a shuddering breath, knowing the words were supposed to calm him and that he needed to _stop crying._

"Shh. It's a lot to process, I know," Namine whispered. His Namine. "And you haven't had nearly enough time to do so. So just sit here and… breathe… and sort your thoughts out. Okay?"

He didn't respond. He didn't want to speak, and nodding when she was holding him like this didn't seem like a good idea. She didn't say anything about it, though, just sat there, resting her chin on his head.

He took deep breaths, but tried his best not to think. If he thought, then he'd just get upset again.

"She told you they were real." Namine's voice was gentle. She ran her fingers through his hair. "That your feelings were real. I know it still hurts and I know the memory will always hurt but this is a _good_ _thing._"

Riku took another deep breath. She'd seen the memory. She'd…

"Are- are you mad at me?" he murmured, fixing his eyes on the bed sheets.

"What? No!" She laughed a little. "I'm not mad at you. I—"

It was too much. He couldn't hold it back any longer. He couldn't hold back the tears. The burning guilt. It didn't matter if Namine said it was okay because it wasn't. It _wasn't._

His fists curled around the sheets, and he bent over, curling in on himself.

"But how can I love two of you?" he choked. It wasn't okay and he couldn't. He couldn't. He _couldn't._

"Riku." Her voice was firm, now, and she was gripping his shoulders. "Listen, I'll tell you why. You can love both of us because we're two completely different people. And I-"

Namine paused. He could hear her mutter a few words under her breath, as if deciding what to say next.

"I… don't know her," she said, after a moment. "But I know we're not the same. And I know you love us for different reasons. You love her because you think you have to and, yes, maybe do still love her after all this time. She's impressed the heck out of you with how well she's held together and how much she's grown after all this time. I know. I _know._ But you're allowed to be impressed and allowed to be proud of her and you are allowed to still love her."

"I-" he began, but didn't know what to say. His heart was racing, Namine's words slowly sinking in.

She kissed him on top of the head again. "It's okay. I don't care," she said. "Because I know you still love me, despite how much you love her. You love me because you think I'm sweet and kind and I'm always there for you. And as much as you think it's weird and you're not used to it you're grateful for it. You also love talking to me and spending time with me and sitting next to me even if we don't say anything."

He slowly looked up at her, staring in disbelief. "How- how do you-?"

"Know all this?" she finished, then blushed. "Our minds are connected, Riku. And, well… when we kissed? Those thoughts were all… very loud."

He stared for another moment, not sure what to think. He wasn't exactly _surprised_, but… it was a little disconcerting that she knew all that.

"You did…" He looked away, face flushing. "Miss a few things, though…"

"Oh?" Namine pulled away from him a little, a smile in her voice.

"Yeah." Riku nodded. "I think you're strong willed and determined and I think it's great you can stand up for yourself." He threw a glance at her, smiling.

She blushed. Grabbed his hands.

"Do you know why I love you?"

He blinked a few times. "You… love me?"

She laughed. "Of course I love you! You can't tell me you're surprised."

"I…" A smile tugged at his lips. "Still nice to hear."

"And do you know why I love you?"

"Why?"

"Oh, come on! You really honestly don't know?" She was laughing a little, but she was giving him a look, not to mention _sounded_ confused. "I mean, I knew why you loved me."

"I…" He couldn't stop grinning. She'd said it three times now, and it sounded better and better each time. She loved him. He flushed. "I- I wasn't exactly paying attention."

"_Riku,_"she scolded, eyes narrowing at him. Then she laughed. Sighed a little. Met his eyes. "I think you're strong—_yes_ I think you're strong! You wouldn't have made it this far if you weren't. Also, you're a big softy and actually very sweet when you want to be. Even if you're usually too 'tough' to admit it."

She gave him a pointed look. He flushed harder, averting his eyes.

"But most importantly, Riku," Namine continued. She gently turned his face toward her, meeting his eyes again. "I love you because you're you. Because you're strong and you've kept going and you _keep_ going no matter what the world throws at you. Because you're still kind and even all the cruelty in the worlds hasn't corrupted you completely." She smiled, softly. "Sure, you have your moments… but you wouldn't be you if you didn't. And I love _you_."

He was grinning. He couldn't help it. That was five times she'd said it now. He blushed, hard, and turned his eyes away from her a little.

"I love you too," he mumbled.


	192. Receiving a Message

this is not late whaaaaaaaaat are you talking about

(it's super long anyway also I will eventually have something in ASAS for you that's relevant to this chapter. It'll be ch60. yay.)

* * *

><p>"Sora?"<p>

Sora groaned. He was sleeping. Couldn't Maleficent let him have five more minutes?

"Hey. Sora."

Wait a minute. That wasn't Maleficent's voice. And he wasn't sleeping on a bed, either. Whatever he was sleeping on felt more like ground. And smelled like grass. Ooh, and he could practically _feel_ the sun pounding down on him.

"Sora!"

Someone was shaking him, too.

He sat up, blinking groggily and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Cloud was kneeling down next to him, his face passive. Sora squinted up at the sky, and was surprised to see that it was somewhere around noon, judging by the sun's position. He yawned. How had he managed to sleep that long?

"Sorry to wake you," Cloud said. "There's something you need to hear."

"Huh?"

Cloud just handed his phone over to Sora. Sora wasn't awake enough to question it, so he held the phone up to his ear.

He was surprised to hear Kairi's voice. He listened for a moment, heart thudding, before he realized that this was a voicemail, given the way she'd introduced herself and then asked Cloud to deliver the message. Or, well, specifically, make sure he heard it.

"Sora," Kairi was saying. "I think you-" she broke off. There was a long pause. A sigh. "I don't know what to say. Uhm, I'm glad Cloud found you, and I'm glad you're okay but I'm a little…"

She paused again. Well, didn't pause. She murmured a few words, but Sora couldn't make them out.

"…_worried_" she said, finally. "That you don't want to talk to me."

His heart seized. He didn't want to have worried her… he just…

"I mean," Kairi continued. "I- I think you're being silly. For whatever reason you- you don't want to do it but… I guess it's been a while since we've last seen each other and I guess that's a little nerve wracking for you."

Yeah. That was basically it.

"I just really want… to see you again, Sora. I- I wanna. Just-" She paused. "I don't know. You're being silly." She paused again. From the sounds of it, she was holding back tears. "I just want to see you again. Okay? …I miss you."

Sora sat there for a long moment, not sure what to think. No. He knew what to think he just. He'd upset her. Worried her. _Scared_ her. He hadn't wanted to… he just…

He let out a long breath. The automated voice came on, asking what he wanted to do with the message. After a moment, Sora hit the button to replay the message.

He closed his eyes, listening again, not just to her words but the pauses in between. The sighs. How hesitant she was. The groan before she called him silly. How her voice started catching halfway through. She was definitely holding back tears, if not actually crying. He didn't need to see her to tell. He'd spent his whole life with her—he could tell from just her voice.

Sora closed the phone, burying his face in his hands.

This was the exact opposite of what he wanted.

"Do you want to go see her?" Cloud asked, gently.

"I thought you had errands to run…"

"It'll take me maybe five minutes to get you to Tifa. And Kairi."

"I—"

"Get down!"

Sora quickly complied, and was glad he did. Cloud jumped _over_ him, drawing his sword as he went, bringing it up to block—

Sora knew that growl.

He got to his feet, summoning his Keyblade. It was that wolf again! It was pacing back and forth, snarling, as if trying to determine how to get past Cloud.

"We gonna fight it off?" Sora asked. It'd worked last time. Sort of.

"Go to the bike," Cloud ordered. "Now."

Sora gave one last glance at the wolf, and then ran. Maybe they could take it. But if Cloud didn't want to…

He hopped on Cloud's motorcycle, wishing he knew how to drive the thing. It'd be better if he could go get Cloud instead of having to wait for Cloud to come get him. Cloud didn't take too long, though. He jumped on behind Sora, and quickly started the motorcycle.

Sora gritted his teeth. The bike always felt rough and unsafe to him—though it was still better than dark corridors—not to mention he was a little squashed at the moment.

Though, now he realized why Cloud probably didn't want to try and fight the wolf. Given the position he was in, Sora couldn't help but notice the bandage that was still wrapped around Cloud's arm. The wolf had bit him last time, and between various potions and cures, the wound refused to heal completely. Cloud ended up visiting one of the healers in the last town they'd been in, and the healer insisted that the wound was infected.

Whether or not the healer was right about that fact was another story, but they would both be better off without any more wolf bites.

"Is that thing _following_ us?" Sora asked, as they emerged in a new world.

"Must be," Cloud replied, getting off the bike. "We might want to keep moving, if that is the case." He gave Sora a look. "Do you want to see Kairi, though?"

Sora hopped off the bike. "Uhm…" He hung his head.

It wasn't that he didn't want to. He just. There were so many things he needed to say and he wanted to figure out how to say them before he saw her.

"If that wolf is following us, though…" he said, slowly, looking up at Cloud.

Cloud nodded. "Fair point."

"So… where to now?" Sora asked.

"Agrabah," Cloud said. "I've got errands to run." He got back on his bike, sent a glance at Sora. Sora quickly scrambled onto the bike behind Cloud.

"You hanging on?" Cloud asked.

"Uh-huh." Sora wrapped his fingers around Cloud's shirt. Cloud started the bike, and they were off.

Of course, travel between worlds was almost instantaneous with Cloud's bike, so they were in Agrabah within a few minutes. Cloud parked his bike near the back of one of the stalls.

"You wanna come with me?" he asked. "Or wait by the bike?"

"Ahh… I guess I'll come with you," Sora said.

"Right." Cloud made his way to the front of the stall, and slammed a handful of munny down on the counter. He gave the shopkeeper a stern look. "Watch that," he said, nodding at the bike. He started to turn away, but paused, putting his hand over the munny so the shopkeeper couldn't grab it. "And _don't_ try and pawn it off to everyone."

The shopkeeper nodded vigorously. Cloud gave one more stern look before pulling his hand away. The shopkeeper eagerly pocketed the munny.

"Can't trust the locals around here," Cloud muttered, as he and Sora started off.

Sora chuckled in agreement. He'd met a couple of nice locals in this world, but he definitely wouldn't trust _all_ of them. And the locals of other worlds weren't technically much better—there were just better places to hide the bike.

Cloud stopped at another one of the stalls, the weapons stall. He took a brief glance at the weapons lying out in sight (most of them were daggers or knifes, though there was one very nice looking spear on display) before turning to the vendor.

"Do you have any other swords?" Cloud asked. "Preferably a broadsword…"

"Mm… not so sure," the vendor said, clucking her tongue. "Give me a sec and I'll see what I've got." She started rummaging around behind her.

"What's wrong with the sword you've got?" Sora asked, frowning.

"It's-" Cloud paused. "There's nothing wrong with it. But use brings about wear, tear, and rust." He smiled a little. Sadly. "I just… wouldn't want to ruin it. It was a gift, and… it's all I have left of…"

He trailed off. Sora looked at him, but he didn't appear to want to finish, and Sora wasn't sure how to press any further. It felt a little rude…

"This is all I got," the weapons vendor said, placing a saber on the counter. She held it with reverence. Sora couldn't say he was surprised, though. It was an impressive looking blade…

Cloud shook his head. "Not what I'm looking for."

The weapons vendor frowned, her eyes darting to Cloud's sword for a second. "Figured…" she muttered, picking up the saber again. "Well, you're out of luck then, buddy. That's all I got."

"Thanks," Cloud said, and started off.

"Hey, I might know somewhere you could get a sword," Sora told him. He remembered… last time he was in Agrabah. There was a shopkeeper—the one who'd sold him the charm. He said he had weapons. At least Sora thought he had. His last visit to Agrabah was a little fuzzy for some reason.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Um. This way."

It didn't take Sora too long to hunt down the stall again. Agrabah's marketplace was only so large, and the stall was relatively in a corner. The fact that it was right next to an alleyway made it a little easier to locate, too.

"Ah, Mr. Traveler!" the shopkeeper called, as Sora neared. "I remember you."

Sora smiled at him, nodding. He wasn't sure how to respond, exactly… Oh. "Nice to see you again," he said.

The shopkeeper nodded, grinning. "Yes! Ah, tell me, that charm I sold you?"

"I still have it," Sora said. He contemplated pulling it out, but also didn't see the need to. "By the way…" he grimaced. "I'm not so sure if it's actually 'lucky'."

The shopkeeper looked at him, frowning a little. He almost looked… disappointed.

"Well, I don't take refunds," he said, quickly. "What brings you here this time?"

"My friend is looking to buy a sword," Sora said, nodding at Cloud.

"Broadsword, preferably," Cloud added.

The shopkeeper pursed his lips together, tapping his chin. "I… am not so sure if I have any. I suppose I can look…" He started shifting around the boxes behind him, as if trying to reach something.

"I suppose as long as it's the same general weight," Cloud said, though he seemed a little hesitant.

"I understand!" the shopkeeper said. "Ah, by the way, there was a girl looking for you." He threw a glance at Sora. "Did you know that? I mean, it's been a while since I saw her. Probably a month now. But…"

"R-really?" Sora asked. He wasn't necessarily shocked. It was just… the idea of Kairi looking for him always made his stomach flip. Because who else would it be? "Was she… 'bout my height? Red hair?"

"That's her. She seemed pretty upset she couldn't find you, too. I'm assuming you know her?"

Sora let out a long breath. "Yeah. Pretty sure I do. Can't imagine I've got more than one girl with red hair looking for me… she didn't leave a name?"

"No." The shopkeeper paused, his hand resting on a hilt of a sword that he had at the back of the stall. "But, I must ask, if you know her, why were you hiding from her?"

Sora frowned. "Was I?"

"Yes…" Now the shopkeeper frowned. "You asked to hide in my stall."

Sora rubbed his head. It was pounding all of a sudden. "I- I don't… don't remember much of what happened last time I was here," he managed to say.

"Hmm…" The shopkeeper came back to the counter of the stall, dragging a sword with him. Clearly, it was too heavy for him to lift properly. "I have this," he said, addressing Cloud. He offered the hilt out as best as he could.

Cloud took it, hefted the sword, swung it once. Twice. Then he shook his head. "Not the right weight. Too long, too… though…" He examined the blade closer. "I suppose I could get used to it…"

"If you are dissatisfied with it, I will not sell it to you," the shopkeeper replied, firmly. "A warrior is only as good as his weapon, and there is nothing worse than fighting with a blade that you are dissatisfied with."

Cloud sighed, still looking the sword over.

"Also, I hate to rush your decision, but I'm going to have people get veeerrrry angry with me if they catch me trying to sell anything besides my typical wares." The shopkeeper chuckled a little. "Weapons are definitely not my typical wares."

Cloud grimaced, but handed the sword back. The shopkeeper took and quickly stashed it in the back of his stall again.

"If you'd take my advice, I'd suggest finding someone who can forge a sword for you," the shopkeeper said. "Especially if you're going to be specific about what you want. It'll cost you more munny, of course, but most say it's worth it."

"…right," Cloud said. "Do you know anywhere that I can get a sword forged?"

The shopkeeper lowered his voice. "I hear there's someone in Disney Town who makes good swords."

Cloud raised his eyebrows. Sora flat out stared. Not a lot of people knew about other worlds, and even fewer talked about them.

The shopkeeper laughed, now. Long and hard. "Don't look at me like that! I have a lot of travelers stop by here. Do you really think all of them are from around here? _You_ certainly aren't!"

Sora couldn't argue with that. He supposed he and Cloud definitely…

…stood out…

He frowned, turning to look into the crowds. There was something…

…tugging at him. A gentle nudge, in the back of his mind. The charm strained in his pocket. He needed to go… well, out of the marketplace for starters. He couldn't quite work out _exactly_ where he needed to go, but he was confident he could get there. The nudge was very specific.

And there was someone he needed to see.

"Sora? What is it?" Cloud asked.

"Something… tugging at me…" Sora replied, absentmindedly. He needed to get moving. "Someone… I need to see…"

"Go!"

The shopkeeper's voice was so urgent that it broke the spell, if only for a second. Sora turned to him, confused.

The shopkeeper just rolled his eyes. "_Run!_"

Sora didn't need to be told twice. He took off, sprinting as quickly as he could through the crowd and the stalls. He couldn't afford to lose them. Whoever it was. He'd missed them once before, back in Neverland. He couldn't let it happen again.

The nudge was so desperate this time that he almost tore a path straight through the market place. It was tempting. To take the most direct route—regardless of all the stalls that were in the way. Sora had the sense to _not_ give into that temptation, though. It couldn't be _that_ urgent.

Could it?

He saw a flash of blue hair in the crowd.

"Aqua!"

He didn't know the name, but he didn't hesitate to call it, either. He needed to get to her. If only she wasn't so far away… and if only the crowd wasn't here…

Almost instantly the crowd started parting for him. Not drastically, but it was much easier for him to weave his way through it now. People kept pausing for him. Moving out of his way.

Soon enough he was out of the market and now just on the streets of town. Unfortunately he'd lost her. The girl. Aqua. Whoever she was. He couldn't see her anymore. Not that it mattered. The charm still knew which way to go.

He didn't make it any farther than the city gates. The wolf was sitting very patiently, smack dab in the middle of the thin crowd that was milling in and out of the city. Everyone stayed as far away from it as possible. It slowly got to its feet, eyes fixed on Sora.

Sora gulped. Chances of fighting it and being able to subdue it were slim—especially with all these people around. He'd have to outrun it… but with all these people around…

He groaned in frustration. He needed to get past. He needed to catch up to Aqua.

Maybe if he… started to go left. To confuse it. Then dart right, where the crowd was thinnest. He could maybe avoid it. Then he'd just have to run. Fast. Hopefully he'd catch up to Aqua before the wolf caught up to him—

"No you don't!"

Someone caught him by the collar of his jacket before he could even try. Sora struggled, his mind blank of all except the thought of needing to get past the wolf. Needing to get to Aqua. He hardly heard the wolf growl. Barely registered it was Cloud who was holding him.

He started to slip out of the jacket, to keep going, but then Cloud caught him by the arm.

"We have to go!" Cloud shouted, pulling on Sora, dragging him. "That wolf is bad news and you know it!"

Being pulled off course and away from Aqua was painful. The nudge in his mind had turned to screaming, telling him to struggle, telling him to keep going. He needed to keep going. The charm was straining so hard in his pocket that he thought it'd fall out.

The tugging in his heart felt stronger than any pulling Cloud was doing, but then the wolf leapt, missed him by inches. It was enough to snap him out of it. It didn't matter if he "needed" to see Aqua. He didn't want to end up anywhere that that wolf was going to drag him.

The run back to Cloud's bike went by in a blur. One second it was all running and heavy breathing mixed with wolf growls and sand and heat—all while trying not to be tugged in the opposite direction, towards Aqua. Then they were on the bike. In a different world. And the tugging stopped.

"What was that about, anyway?" Cloud asked. He didn't turn to Sora, so he could keep his eyes on the ground ahead of him, like he was supposed to.

"I bought this charm…" Sora explained, slowly. His head was clearer now, but his heart still ached. A lot. Enough to make him a little nauseous, actually. "And it's… I don't know. Magical? It keeps tugging on me. Every now and then. Because I need to see someone. Or. It needs to…"

He trailed off, not so sure. It'd make more sense if the charm—or whatever spirit attached to it—needed to see that girl. That girl with blue hair whose name was apparently Aqua. Sora didn't know her. At least, he didn't think he did. But there was something about the nudge of the charm that just… made him feel like he knew her. And that _he_ needed to be with her. And that—

"Why do you think you need to see her? Do you know?"

"No," Sora said. Paused. That wasn't right. "I think… I think he wants to apologize…"

"He?"

"The… voice. In the charm." Sora shrugged. Sort of. (Shrugging was hard when you were on a moving bike and holding on for dear life.) "I think it's an actual person… or a spirit. Something…"

"Dunno."

Cloud seemed a little distracted. He kept weaving through the trees, a little erratically. He drove them through a river once. Then again. The water wasn't deep enough to get more than Sora's shoes wet, though he wasn't sure how well the bike was going to handle it. Hopefully not too terribly.

"Why haven't we stopped?" Sora asked.

"Trying to make us harder to follow."

As he said it, they entered the lanes between worlds again. They drove through there for a while, before stopping in a new world. Well, they didn't stop. They kept driving. And driving.

"You think this'll work?" Sora asked, as they left the third world and emerged on a fourth.

"I've done this before."

"Oh."

They were in between worlds again. Then on a fifth world. Finally they stopped.

"Yeah," Cloud said, as he turned off the bike. "I pissed off Hades once. He tried to track me down… Gave up after a bit, though. I apparently wasn't worth his time." He chuckled. "Not sure if I should be relieved or insulted."

"Relieved," Sora said, automatically.

He'd much rather not be wanted by people like Hades. Or Maleficent. He'd very much prefer it if they didn't think he was worth their time.

Cloud laughed a little.

"Of course."


	193. Returning Home

Pssst there's something in ASASch60 that you'll probably want to read. (AKA Agrabah from Aqua's POV yay)

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><p>"Riku? Heheh. What are you doing?"<p>

Riku only glanced up at Namine for a second. "Ah. Counting munny," he said.

Well, more specifically, he was _sorting_ the munny by size, so it'd be easier to count when he finally got to counting it. Unfortunately he had a lot of munny, so he could be sorting for a while.

"Yeah?" Namine asked, giggling a little more. He threw another glance at her. She was sitting on the end of his bed, her feet dangling, kicking them aimlessly.

"Yeah." He laughed, continuing to sort the munny.

"What for?"

"Well," he shrugged. "Figured I'd count what I had. But I was also planning on buying Aerith a set of plates…"

"Why would you need to do that?" And then Namine giggled. "Oh, right, you broke one, huh?"

He found himself smiling for some reason.

"Ahh…"

He hunched over, rearranging his piles of munny so they were far enough apart not to get mixed.

Namine slowly sat down next to him, taking the munny from his hand and sorting it herself. "Why a set of plates, anyway?" she asked. "You only need to replace one, right?"

"I'm… not sure if it's possible to buy plates separately…" Riku replied, slowly. He reached into his drawer and pulled out another handful of munny to sort.

"Good point," Namine muttered. "Where'd you get all this munny, anyway?"

"It's just… piled up." Riku grimaced. "I've never really needed to spend it on anything. Or not a lot of things. Also, do you _know_ how much munny Heartless drop?" He looked over at her, shaking his head. "Even when I let Yuffie pick up most of the munny, I still end up with quite a bit! And since I never spend it, it just piles up and… It's probably been piling up for, like, six months now?" He shrugged.

"I… suppose that would do it."

They sat there for a while, still sorting the munny, making idle chitchat as they did so. Finally the drawer was empty, and Riku started counting the munny, muttering under his breath as he did so. Namine tried talking to him, but that only made him lose track of what he was counting, and helping him count didn't actually help either. Eventually she left the room. Riku was a little worried, but tried not to think too much about it, since he'd only counted 934 pieces of munny, and still had a lot more to go.

Namine returned shortly, though, a pencil and her sketchbook in tow. Of course. She'd just gone to get something so she could draw. It was… ah… 976. That's what he was on. 976… 977…

To his surprise, instead of drawing, Namine sat and waited and did nothing. Or, at least, she did nothing until he reached 1,000. When he did, she made a mark on her piece of paper, and then scooped up the munny he'd already counted and dropped it back in the drawer. "So you don't count it twice," she explained.

He stopped her at the next thousand. "Ah, you should probably put that to the side. So I don't have to count it again."

"Right," she nodded. "How much do you think plates will cost?"

"Ah… two thousand. To be safe."

"Got it."

"Hmm…" He rolled one of the larger munny pieces between his fingers. "Maybe I'll… give them extra munny. To help them fix up the town. Yeah?" He looked over at Namine.

She shrugged. "That's up to you."

Riku slowly nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll…" He nodded again. "How much do you think is too much?"

"What were you thinking?"

"A couple… ten thousand?"

"That's a lot…"

He laughed. "Namine, did you see how much I have here?"

So far, he'd counted 5,016, and he'd only just made it to the second pile of munny. Considering this pile was fairly large and all the pieces were worth 5 munny, and the other pile was even larger and all the munny pieces were worth 20, it looked like he'd have plenty.

"50 thousand?" Namine said, after a moment.

"You think so?"

She shrugged again. "How much do you think they'll need for… town… fixing… upping?"

"…good point."

He went back to counting.

He wasn't exactly sure how long it took him—though it probably took him most of the morning—but finally he finished. The grand total was 129,533 munny, minus the 52 thousand he'd set aside.

"That was fun," Namine said.

Riku laughed. Sure, he supposed he could call that fun. He got to his feet, stretching. It was amazing how sitting on the floor for so long could make your back hurt so much… He let out a long breath, pocketed the pouch they'd put the 52 thousand in, and turned to Namine.

"To Hollow Bastion, then?" he asked.

"We should tell Alpha first."

**_xXx_**

Riku knocked on the door, shifting from foot to foot. He was holding the plates they'd bought behind his back, so they'd be something of a surprise. It was only a set of four plates, but he and Namine had spent a good ten minutes arguing on whether or not to get plates with or without a flower pattern. Eventually Namine'd caved, though she still made him rethink the choice in plates. (He was secretly glad for that, as the first set of plates he'd picked out had actually looked pretty awful.)

"You ready?" Riku asked, throwing a glance over at Namine.

She beamed, clutching her sketchbook tightly to her chest. "Of course!"

Aerith opened the door, and laughed when she saw them.

"You used the door!" she exclaimed.

Riku flushed. "We, uh, walked," he explained, coughing nervously. "Well. We were… already… in town. Here." He handed over the plates, just to get it over with.

Aerith gasped in surprise. "You didn't have to!" she told him.

"Ah." He frowned. "You didn't already replace the plate, did you?"

"Well… no…"

"Oh! Good!"

"But you didn't have to—"

"I know, I know!" Riku laughed. "I didn't have to get an entire set. But I couldn't figure out where I was supposed to buy just _one_ plate." He shrugged. "It's not a problem, is it? It's only a set of four…"

"No, I mean you didn't have to at _all,_" Aerith said.

"I broke it."

"I told you to!"

"Well-" Riku grimaced. "I already bought the plates. Are we really gonna argue about it? 'Cause I guess I can just return them, though I don't think the store will be too happy about that."

"I—"

"Jus' take the plates, Aerith!" Cid called from inside.

Riku chuckled. Namine giggled. Aerith sighed, and took the plates from Riku.

"I… forgot to get a glass, though," Riku said. "Sorry."

"That's- that's fine," Aerith assured him, moving so they could come inside. "Thank you."

"It was nothing."

Aerith went and set the plates down on the kitchen counter.

"Nice teh see yeh again!" Cid called, from the table. He didn't look up from what he was doing, though, which… involved his spear, somehow. Riku couldn't tell if he was _fixing_ it or _working _on it or just… examining it.

"Nice to see you, too!" Namine said.

"You just left…" Yuffie muttered. She was hanging upside down from the back of the nearest couch, tossing her tennis ball up in the air and catching it again. Surprisingly she didn't drop it. Or flinch when it came three inches from her face.

"Did I really?" Riku asked, a little worried. "Has it only been—"

"No, no!" Aerith assured him, quickly. "It's been a few days. But, y'know, it still _feels_ like you just left."

"Right."

Aerith gave him one long look, then opened her arms for a hug. He barely hesitated a second before accepting it. Once she let go of him, she turned to Namine, and immediately offered her a hug. Namine hesitated a second longer than Riku had, but she accepted the hug, too. (It looked like a slightly uncomfortable hug, though, seeing as Namine was still holding her sketchbook.)

"How long are you staying?" Aerith asked, once she was done hugging Namine.

"The night?" Riku shrugged. "Maybe a little longer?"

Aerith just shrugged, too, smiling. "It doesn't matter to me how long you stay," she said. "Though I'd imagine that you couldn't stay here too long. You've still got responsibilities in Castle Oblivion, don't you?"

"Things have quieted down," Riku said. "They won't miss me if I'm gone for too long."

"Alpha okayed us for about a week," Namine added, settling down on the couch opposite Yuffie. Yuffie groaned a little, but she'd also dropped her tennis ball at the exact same moment, so Riku wasn't sure if she was groaning because of that or because he was potentially going to be staying for a while. (He got the feeling she didn't much like him staying over.)

"Hey! Speakin' of!" Cid called, looking up. "How'd tha' experiment of yers go, anyway?"

Riku looked over at Namine. She glanced up from her sketchbook, meeting his eyes. She didn't say anything, but somehow he just _knew._ She was thinking about explaining how she'd sabotaged the experiment. And he'd let her, if she really wanted to, but she didn't seem so sure on whether or not she actually wanted to. Besides, it was such an unimportant detail…

"It doesn't matter," he said, turning to Cid. "We figured out how to stop the meltdowns."

"You did!?" Yuffie asked, righting herself so she was sitting upright instead of upside down. She seemed excited.

"And it doesn't… involve staying separate, I assume," Aerith said, frowning a little.

Riku shook his head, grinning.

"How do you stop them, then?" Leon asked. He was in the kitchen, in the middle of opening the box of plates. He'd paused, though—knife still in his hand to cut the tape on the box—clearly more curious about the conversation than the plates.

Riku felt his cheeks grow hot. He threw a glance over at Namine, not sure how to continue. Unfortunately her eyes were firmly fixed on her sketchbook. Though with the way she was hunched over, he had a feeling she was hiding her blush.

"Uhm," Riku began, shifting from foot to foot. They really needed to stop barging into the topic like this. They'd done this when talking to Alpha about the matter, too!

And, unfortunately, Riku couldn't remember what exactly they'd told Alpha. If he could've remembered it, then he'd just repeat it. But since he couldn't remember it…

"Happy memories," Namine said. She cleared her throat. Repeated it, louder this time. "Happy memories. To counteract the bad ones."

"Tha' works?" Cid asked. He sounded slightly surprised.

Namine nodded, though a bit more vigorously than may have been necessary. "We think so," she explained. "Not that we've had a chance to properly try it. It seemed to work once, but…"

"Well if it worked once… then why shouldn't it work again?" Yuffie asked.

"Variables and things," Riku said, bitterly. "Vexen and all his Replicas are very… particular about their experiments. It's going to take multiple tests before any of them are satisfied."

"Alpha's rather persnickety about the matter, too," Namine added.

"Yeah."

"Well, that's exciting, regardless!" Aerith said, clapping her hands together. "Oh! By the way, the Heartless have been just as quiet as they were last time you were here." She gave him a long look. "Though I'm saying this for _your sake_ more than anything else. I know how… antsy you get when you haven't killed any monsters for an extended period of time."

She smiled slightly.

"I'm sure I'll be fine!" Riku laughed, plopping himself down on the couch next to Namine.

"No you won't be," Namine giggled.

"If you get too antsy, I s'pose yeh can help us out 'round town," Cid said, squinting down at his spear.

"At the very least, it'll get you up and moving," Leon added, his attention already returned to the box of plates.

"Yeah, even if yeh can't do much in the way of helpin'!" Cid laughed.

Riku scowled. "Or I just do a round around town," he said. "There's always a couple Heartless lurking here and there."

"Ah, I'm not sure if you should go alone, though," Aerith said, quickly. "Considering… what happened last time…"

What happened last time. Meaning the Heartless with the lightning and—

"I'll know to get rid of them right away!" Riku said.

"Yellow Operas travel in packs." Though his voice was firm, Leon was very nonchalant as he said it, busily stacking the plates in one of the cupboards. "Usually three, if not four or five. Even if you can take out two right away, you'll still have at least one more to worry about."

"Yeah, but last time was a fluke!" Riku argued. "I'm sure I'll be—"

"Riku," Aerith interrupted. She fumbled for words, but no more came out.

"Yellow Operas?" Namine asked, quietly. "The… ones with the lightning, huh?"

Riku grunted. "Yeah."

"They know?"

"The basics."

"I know!" Aerith declared, finally. "Namine, how would you like to learn some magic?"

Namine looked up, clearly shocked.

"Uhm… Okay!"

She set her sketchbook down on the couch, and got to her feet, joining Aerith in the open area of the room.

"I'm going to start you off with defensive magic first, along with curative, if you don't mind," Aerith said.

"That sounds fine!" Namine nodded. There was a slight grin on her face.

Riku shifted slightly, as he watched, feeling antsy all of a sudden. Not that he _minded_ if Namine learned magic! She could do whatever she wanted—plus it meant she could hold her own during a battle, and not be forced to sit on the sidelines. That was a good thing.

"Unfortunately, you aren't going to be able to learn the most useful spells within a day," Aerith said. "Barriers are hard enough as it is, and M-barriers are extra tricky. Not to mention it could be a long while before you get the hang of something like a Wall."

"What do Barriers do?" Namine asked.

"Protect from physical attacks," Aerith replied.

"So… M-barriers protect from magic attacks, right?"

"You catch on quick!"

Namine grinned even wider.

"Right, so, what are we starting with?"


	194. Magic

Okay so I update every 5 days consistently I guess. Sorry? (I try to do every three/four days but sometimes I forget)

Also I finished Zelda ALBW I highly recommend it Ravio is a cutie and the ending made me cry

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><p>Within the next few hours, Namine had mastered a spell called Reflect, which would summon a shield of light around her to protect against all attacks.<p>

"Reflect is nice, but it's geared more to work on yourself than others," Aerith had explained. "It only stays up for a few seconds. Of course, you can cast it immediately once you notice an attack coming towards yourself, and you'll be fine. But if you need to cast it on someone else, you have to account for how long it'll take for the spell to reach them, on top of making sure it gets there before the attack does…"

"Meaning it wouldn't exactly protect Riku from any lightning," Namine had finished.

Aerith shook her head. "Not… really, no. But it will protect you—and it's one step closer to learning Barrier."

Namine also learned the basic Cure. And—besides nearly setting the couch on fire the first time—she seemed to have a pretty good handle on the Fire spell, too. (Aerith later admitted they probably shouldn't have been trying offensive magic indoors.)

"You should learn magic, Riku!" Namine told him, not for the first time.

"I don't exactly see the point…" he sighed, yet again.

"Like you won't ever need to Cure?"

"Well, maybe Cure," he admitted, shrugging. "But, all the rest is just too much to think about. Besides, if _you're_ learning this stuff—"

Namine grinned a little at him. "You think we'll be fighting together?"

He shrugged again. "Well… now that you know how to fight…"

"You should probably learn Cure, though," Aerith told him, sternly.

"I hardly ever need it," Riku muttered.

"What are you talking about?" Namine laughed. "You get injured _all the time!_"

"Well, yeah, but you're there," he said. "Or Aerith. Or _someone_ who can Cure me."

"We can't always keep an eye on you, though," Aerith argued. "Especially not in battle."

"Well…"

"And what if you're by yourself?" Aerith continued. "Nowhere near either of us. What'll you do, then?"

Riku thought about it for a while. "The… chances of me not being able to get to either of you are pretty slim, though," he said, chuckling.

"It only needs to happen once."

Riku stopped, his smile falling. There was something about the tone of her voice. The grimness of it. The darkness in her eyes. The way she wrung her hands together.

It only needed to happen once.

And then he'd be…

"You should learn Cure," Aerith repeated, her voice firmer this time.

"I'll just… carry potions with me," he mumbled.

"Potions run out. You should learn Cure."

Riku sighed and got to his feet, joining them where they stood. He rubbed his hands together and focused his energy, just like Aerith had told Namine to do.

He felt some of the energy leave him, but that was it.

"How are we supposed to know if it works?" he asked.

"It… didn't work," Aerith said, slowly. "You can see the spell."

Riku grimaced. That's right. You could.

"Maybe try focusing on _someone_," Namine encouraged.

Riku took a deep breath in, rubbed his hands together again. This time he focused his attention on Namine. He let out the breath, wishing _Cure_ as hard as he could.

Nothing happened.

"Well, obviously, I can't do it," he said, letting his hands drop to his sides.

"Don't give up so easily!" Namine told him. "It took me a couple of tries before I finally got it."

"I don't see how a third try is going to make any difference!" Riku said, exasperated. "I did _everything_ I was supposed to do."

"Maybe try a verbal command?" Aerith suggested. "That's the only thing you _haven't _tried yet."

Riku rolled his eyes and groaned. He didn't say how shouting "Cure!" was going to make any difference, but they obviously weren't going to let this go.

He focused his energy again, holding his hands out, fixing his eyes on Namine. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Wish. _Hard._

"Cure!" he said.

Nothing.

"Exactly." He dropped his hands to his sides again.

"Maybe you're not focusing hard enough…" Namine said, frowning.

"Maybe I'm not!" he replied. "But I don't see how I can focus or _wish_ any harder when there's _no wound_ to be cured!"

Aerith sighed. "I know. But it's the only way to practice."

"Well, I'll be sure to 'practice' next time someone gets a non-fatal scrape or cut," Riku snapped.

"Riku!" Namine frowned. "Now you're just being bitter!"

"Well I—"

"Don't go… hurting yourself just to practice Cure, though," Aerith said. Her voice was so quiet that he almost didn't hear her.

Namine turned to her, eyes wide. "Are you- Riku wouldn't do that!"

"Not just to practice Cure, no," he said.

"Exactly! Wait—" Now Namine turned to him. "Are you saying you _would—_?"

Aerith let out a long breath. "That's right… I wanted to talk to you…"

"Well, yeah, Riku mentioned that," Namine said, turning back to Aerith. "But… why did you bring it up now? Why-?" She frowned. "What does you wanting to talk to me have anything to do with…?" She trailed off, casting another—_worried_—look at Riku.

He chewed his lip for a few seconds, then stopped himself, knowing he was chewing it much harder than necessary and was going to draw blood if he kept it up.

"Riku…" Namine said, slowly.

"I- I need to talk to Leon," he said, heading for the stairs.

Yuffie and Cid had left to do rounds a bit ago, and Leon was upstairs, so if Riku left the room, then Aerith and Namine would be alone to… talk. About him. He tried not to think too hard about that. He knew it was what Aerith wanted to talk about—she'd told him. That didn't make the knot in his stomach go away, though.

Riku paused outside Leon's room. He stood there for a moment, trying to remember the polite way to get someone's attention. It'd be one thing if Leon's door was closed—then he'd knock—but Leon's door was open…

"Uh… Leon?" he said, finally.

Leon looked up from his book. "Yeah?"

"Well, uhm-" Riku quickly dug the munny pouch out of his pocket. "I think- I think Aerith's gonna freak again if I try and give her this," he said. He chuckled a little. "So… here."

He made to toss the pouch at Leon, but paused, waiting until Leon was prepared to catch it. Then he tossed the pouch. Leon caught it, looking a little skeptical.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Munny," Riku answered. Though that was probably obvious. He cleared his throat. "I guess you could use some of it to replace that glass I broke. Or for. Groceries or something" He shrugged. "But there… should be enough in there to help pay to fix up the town, too."

Leon opened the pouch, looking into it. "How… much is in here?"

"50 thousand."

Leon about dropped the pouch.

"I- uh-" he stammered. "That's- that's very kind of you. But- but I don't think I can-"

Riku laughed. He had a feeling this might happen, too. "It's really no problem," he said. "I've- I've still got twice that sitting 'round and gathering dust. I'll take it back if- if you really want me to, but I'm not gonna really spend it…"

"I-" Leon swallowed. "You sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay." Leon closed the pouch. "Thank you."

Riku shrugged. "Like I said, I really wasn't going to do anything with it…"

He started for the stairs. But, wait… They'd need more time than that. Riku let out a long breath, then headed for his room. Or. The room he usually stayed in.

He was surprised to find the book he hadn't finished sitting on the bed. Like it'd been left there. For him? He sat down on the bed and picked it up—he only had a few chapters left. Might as well finish it now…

**_xXx_**

"I- I need to talk to Leon," Riku said. He headed for the stairs, very pointedly not looking at Namine.

She frowned, then turned to Aerith. "What…?" she began, but wasn't sure what to ask. Or. She didn't like any of the questions she could potentially ask… "Okay," she said. "You want to talk." It was best to focus on what she _did_ know. "Should we… sit down?"

Aerith shrugged. "You might… want to, yeah," she said.

Namine slowly made her way to one of the couches. Aerith sat down in front of her, on the other couch.

"So what… did you want to talk about?" Namine asked.

"Well-" Aerith's voice caught a little. She paused. Sighed. "I suppose I should start with, well, did Riku mention he dislocated his shoulder?"

"I- no."

Namine made a face. That felt like one of those things she was supposed to know—or have just _magically_ found out about. But she had been so busy forcing meltdowns during that week…

"I didn't think he would." Aerith let out a frustrated breath. "But he did. Dislocate his shoulder."

"Not surprised," Namine admitted, laughing a little. "Neither that he injured it, nor that he didn't bother to tell me."

"He…_ shouldn't_ be fighting…" Aerith said.

Namine snorted.

Aerith nodded. "He has been, then. Of course. No surprise there, either."

"Should I yell at him if he's fighting?" Namine laughed.

"Just… remind him to be careful," Aerith said. "The worst he's going to do at this point is dislocate it again. Besides, it's not like I can tell him not to fight, not with everything that's going on with the… Rebellion and all…"

"Right…"

Namine took a long breath, absentmindedly reaching for her sketchbook, which was still sitting on the couch next to her. It wasn't that she wanted to draw. She just… wanted to be holding it.

"As for… the other thing, you wanted to tell me?" she asked.

"Well…" Aerith stopped there, and was silent for a while. Her eyes were fixed on her hands, which were clenched together in her lap. "The week he was here was really rough on him…"

"I know."

That, at least, she _did_ know. It was never hard to tell when Riku was in a bad mood, even if they weren't on the same world.

"And I noticed… after a few days that…" Aerith paused again. Sighed again. "That- that when he got upset. He'd. Hit his shoulder. The bad one."

Namine bit her lip. It felt like something had squeezed her heart.

"It- he says the pain helps anchor him," Aerith continued, a little quickly. "Which I understand. Not that that makes it… healthy."

Namine nodded, letting the information sink in. Now that she was hearing it, though, she couldn't say she was too surprised. Riku'd done this before. He'd always done it. Because he—

_But I… never noticed…_ Namine thought, horror twisting her insides.

She could recount a time or two specifically that she'd caught him doing it, but besides that… nothing stuck out to her. She knew he did it—has always done it—but she'd never thought anything of it. Because for some reason it'd seemed _normal._

"I know it's a lot to take in," Aerith said. "I just wanted someone else looking out for him because it's not—"

"I never noticed," Namine whispered, her words finally catching up with her brain. She raked her fingers through her hair. "I never. I should've noticed. He's just… been doing it for so long that…"

That it seemed natural. Just one of the things Riku did.

Aerith sighed and leaned back, looking exhausted.

Namine buried her face in her hands. "Oh I'm so _stupid_!"

"Don't beat yourself over it," Aerith told her, firmly. "Sometimes, with people you love, you just… overlook some things."

"But to have _not noticed_ something like _that?_"

"You can't change the past by fretting over it."

Namine slowly pulled her hands away from her face. Aerith had a point there… Then she chuckled. "Have you told Riku that?"

"I… no." Aerith chuckled, too. "I should, though, shouldn't I?"

"Someone should."

Namine gripped the edges of her sketchbook.

"What should… I do?" she asked, staring at the coffee table. "If I ever… catch him… y'know…"

"Just… stop him," Aerith replied. "And tell him that he doesn't deserve it. I know he says the pain is an anchor but I think, sometimes, he does it because he thinks he deserves it. Which he doesn't. No one does."

"Right."

Namine didn't need to ask why he'd think he deserved it.

"There are less destructive anchors, too," Aerith added. "You should probably help him find one."

"He counts," Namine said, without hesitation. "Sometimes. When he's frustrated. He'll count."

"Well… then he should get in the habit of doing that. Instead of. Hitting himself.

"Yeah."

Aerith gave her a long, thoughtful look.

"Maybe I should… teach you Stop…"


	195. Running from a Nightmare

"Behind you!"

"Come on, Riku, I'm _fine!_"

Riku bit his lip, tearing his eyes away from her. He couldn't help it. He just wanted her safe.

They were doing a quick round of the town. Him and Namine and Aerith. Aerith said they might as well give Namine some real practice fighting Heartless, since sitting and casting spells was nowhere near the same as actually fighting. Of course, there weren't a lot of Heartless, seeing as Yuffie and Cid had just been out. But maybe it was for the better. This was an amount Namine could handle.

In fact, Namine could handle it well enough that Aerith wasn't even fighting. She was just on the sidelines, giving Namine tips, but she left the Heartless alone, provided they left her alone. (There was always one or two that would get interested in her, purely because she wasn't doing anything.)

Well… maybe saying Namine could handle it wasn't exactly accurate. Saying that Namine and Riku _together_ could handle it was probably better. Namine only knew three spells so far, and only one of them was offensive. She could defend herself just fine, but Riku still needed to kill a couple (most) of the Heartless, otherwise they'd be here all day.

It was taking Riku a lot of self-control to hold back though, to leave Heartless for Namine and more importantly _let them_ attack her. (You could only practice Reflect if you had something to Reflect.) The hardest part was resisting the urge to jump to her aid when she was a little too slow with casting Reflect. He had to keep telling himself that there was a _reason_ she was fighting the smaller Heartless.

_The smaller Heartless can't do too much damage to her, _he thought.

_She'll be okay. _

_If she's really in danger she'll call for you._

_Just focus on the larger Heartless. Those are the ones that are a threat._

Eventually Namine started getting tired, and there stopped being Heartless in the immediate vicinity, so they decided to head back.

"Hey, you could always try Cure now," Namine said, falling in step next to Riku. "I'm sure you've got a couple minor cuts and bruises, right?"

Riku shrugged. "I really don't _remember_ getting hit…" he said.

"Oh come on!" Namine laughed. "I'm sure _one_ Heartless got you."

"I killed everything in one or two hits. They didn't have time to attack me!"

Namine sighed.

Riku sighed too. He understood the need to learn Cure, but that didn't mean he was too enthusiastic about it, especially given his previous failure. Besides, he was fairly certain he wasn't hurt.

"Unless… you want me to try it on you?" he asked, throwing a glance at Namine.

"I already cured."

"Oh."

The rest of the walk back to Aerith's house was spent in silence.

That is, until they were right outside her house.

"But it _looks_ cool!" someone shouted, very clearly whining.

Namine and Riku exchanged surprised looks.

"_Joseph_?" Namine whispered.

"Sounds like it…" Riku replied.

Sure enough, when they got inside, they found Cid and Joseph sitting at the table, arguing over various scraps of paper. Or, more likely, what was _on_ the paper.

"Bu' do yeh know how much it'll _cost _teh make somethin' like tha'?" Cid argued, gesturing frustratedly at the paper, as if that explained it. "Besides, I'm not even sure if it'd _work!_"

"What are you two working on?" Aerith asked, heading over the table to look at what they were doing. Riku wasn't long after her, also very curious.

"Well, 29 said I could learn how to fight, I just had to get a weapon first!" Joseph explained, sitting back down in his chair. (He'd been previously leaning across the table to look at the papers, which Riku saw now were rough sketches of what he assumed were weapons.) "So me and Cid were working on some potential designs."

"I offered," Cid added.

"How long have you been here?" Riku asked, looking at Joseph.

"They got 'ere righ' after you three left," Cid answered.

Riku raised his eyebrows. _They?_ He turned around, and found Toby sitting on one of the couches. Toby waved. Of course.

"What's all the yelling about, though?" Aerith asked.

"It's jus' tha' he wants somethin' real fancy," Cid explained, pushing the papers in their direction.

"It's a boomerang-dagger hybrid!" Joseph said, lunging across the table again to point at the papers. "I wanted a boomerang-dagger-shield hybrid, but Cid said that that was too much work and I could have two of those things but not all three. So I figured that—"

"And it's not practical in the sligh'est," Cid continued, talking over Joseph.

Joseph pouted at him. "It is not! Not not practical, that is. See, look?" He pointed at the drawings again. "The boomerang should fold in half and become something like a dagger. Plus it'll be easier to transport!"

"Why a _boomerang?_" Riku asked.

"Because," Joseph replied.

"Well… maybe you should learn how to use a boomerang, first," Aerith suggested. "Before you make Cid build you something fancy."

"I never said I was buildin' it anyway," Cid muttered. "Only said I'd help 'im with designs."

"Well maybe _someone_ else will be willing to build it for me," Joseph said.

"Ah, more important question!" Namine called. She'd joined Toby on the couch. "Joseph, does 29 know you're here?"

"I- yeah! Of course he does!" Joseph said.

Riku admitted that Joseph managed to keep a very straight face while replying, not that it made much of a difference. Riku folded his arms across his chest and raised his eyebrows, not exactly believing it.

"Joseph…" he said.

Joseph's face fell immediately. "Okaaaaaay," he groaned. "Maybe he doesn't know _exactly_ where I am, but it's not like I've been gone that long! It's not like I haven't gone and gotten ice cream without telling him before."

"We've only been here about thirty minutes," Toby added.

"Exactly! I've got another fifteen before 29 gets too worried!" Joseph grinned.

Riku threw a glance at Namine. She rolled her eyes.

"I'll go get him," Riku said.

"But- but you don't have to do that!" Joseph protested. "I've still got fifteen minutes and he'll find me eventually and I wouldn't… want to…" He trailed off, now looking between Aerith and Cid, who were both giving him very similar disappointed looks. He sighed and flopped back into his chair, pouting very furiously.

"I'd rather not worry him too much," Riku said, shrugging. "You know how he gets."

**_xXx_**

It didn't take him too long to find 29. 29 didn't seem upset, but he was grateful that Riku'd come and told him where Joseph was.

"I had a feeling he'd be with you if he wasn't in Twilight Town," 29 explained. "So I wasn't too worried. Do you want me to come get him?"

Riku shrugged. "I just… I assumed he was in trouble."

"Oh. Well." 29 made a face. "He's not… anywhere dangerous… though I suppose he should've _told_ me where he was going…" He turned and looked at Riku, eyebrows raised, as if considering something.

Riku shuffled his feet. "Well…" he began.

"You want me to get him," 29 said.

Riku shrugged.

"No problem," 29 laughed. "Just don't expect I'll be able to convince him to leave right away."

**_xXx_**

Joseph and Cid were still arguing when they returned.

"No, I'm _telling_ you it can work!" Joseph said, very furiously poking at the papers on the table, as if poking alone would change Cid's mind.

"An' I'm tellin' yeh it _won't!_" Cid replied, firmly. "It's too many extra parts an' it'll jus'—"

"29!" Joseph exclaimed, finally noticing him. He seemed excited at first, but then his face fell and he averted his eyes. "Oh. I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was going… I just figured I could get back for… y'know… you got worried about me and…" He shrugged. "I don't know…"

29 smiled a little. "Well, next time, just be sure to let me know where you're heading, alright?"

Joseph nodded. "Got it."

29 pulled up a chair next to Joseph. "So… what are you working on, anyway?"

Joseph burst into a grin and launched into his explanation all over again. Riku rolled his eyes and went to the other room, where Namine was. He was surprised when she very suddenly slammed her pencil down on the couch next to her.

"No!" she said, under her breath, tearing the page out of her sketchbook. She very promptly started crumpling the paper up. "I _won't_ draw that! I _refuse_ to draw it. I _refuse_ let it happen!"

Then she lit the paper on fire. Riku's eyes went wide. Leon looked up from his book, also very shocked.

"Namine?" Riku asked.

She looked at him, blinking a few times. "I—it's nothing," she said. She wouldn't look at him directly, though.

"That… didn't look like nothing," Leon said, slowly.

"It's not going to happen, therefore it doesn't matter."

Riku frowned. He recognized that tone of voice. And the choice of words. It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than anyone else.

"What won't happen?" he asked, moving to sit down next to her.

"I said it's nothing!" Namine snapped, flipping to a blank page. "Alright? It's nothing."

Riku gently grabbed her sketchbook. "Maybe you should… stop drawing for now…" He said, slowly. He didn't pull the sketchbook away from her, he just held onto it. She looked up at him, frowning a little, but sighed.

"Yeah."

Now he pulled the sketchbook away from her, closing it and setting it down on the coffee table. He sat down on the couch next to her, and she immediately leaned against him, resting her head against his chest.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it?" he whispered, moving to wrap an arm around her, largely just so she'd be more comfortable.

She sighed. He could feel her breath against his skin.

"Just…" she began, but trailed off. She was silent for a long while, picking at something on his shirt. He tried to see what she was picking at, but her head was in the way. "I think I understand why you like it here," she whispered, after a moment.

"Hmm?"

"It's noisy," she said, laughing. "Not that that's a bad thing. It's nice, actually."

Riku chuckled. But she wasn't wrong. He could hear Joseph and Cid and 29 talking in the other room ("You're making it too complicated!" "Joseph, be nice.") He could hear Aerith and Toby in the kitchen ("Can you get that bowl for me?" "Uh-huh!").

And even when no one was talking, this house was rarely quiet. Leon tended to mutter while reading. Aerith hummed while she worked. No matter what Cid did, it was always noisy (and tended to involve a lot of swearing, even if under his breath). Yuffie tended to make a lot of noise, too—she was rarely ever silent.

Namine was right. The noise was comforting, in a way. Castle Oblivion was much quieter. Conversations were harder to overhear, and there weren't nearly enough people to make much noise in so large a space. The smaller noises tended to get sucked into the oblivion for which the Castle was named.

Regardless…

"You never answered my question," he said, quietly, laughing a little.

"One would think my blatant changing of the subject would clue you in to the fact that, no, I don't want to talk about it," Namine replied. Though she sounded annoyed, there was a hint of laughter in her voice.

He laughed again, harder this time. She just shook her head and snuggled closer to him. Riku closed his eyes, taking in the sounds around him.

"You're making this _way_ more complicated than—" Joseph began.

"Lissen," Cid said, over him. "I'll see wha' I can do 'bout it, bu' I don' think I can do much!"

"Cid, did it ever occur to you that maybe this is out of your expertise?" Aerith laughed.

"Well, I dunno where he's supposed to find an _actual_ weapon's specialist!" Cid retorted. "An' there's no guarantee he's gunna be able to get what he wants for cheap, either!"

"Well—" Joseph began.

"Thank you, anyway," 29 said, over him. "It is really nice of you to help him out on this."

"Yeah…" Joseph sighed. "Thank you."

"Yer welcome," Cid muttered. This was followed by the scrape of his chair against the floor and his footsteps as he headed up the stairs. Riku looked up and watched him go, before turning to look in Joseph's direction. From where he was, he could see through the kitchen and into the dining room, where Joseph was sitting.

"Alright Joseph," 29 said, getting up. "We should head back to Castle Oblivion now."

"But I wanna spend the night here!" Joseph protested, bouncing up and down in his seat.

Riku frowned. Namine giggled, shifting so she could look, too.

29 looked pretty taken aback by Joseph's statement.

"I don't have a problem with it," Aerith said, looking up from stirring… whatever it was she was cooking. It smelled a little like spaghetti. "That is, of course, if _29's_ okay with it."

Though he couldn't see her face, Riku was sure that she was giving Joseph a very stern look.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease 29?" Joseph begged. "It couldn't hurt for just _one_ night! It's not like I'm in danger here and I haven't been out of Castle Oblivion in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages and—"

"Maybe another time," 29 interrupted.

"But I thought you said I wasn't in trouble!"

"Not exactly, no," 29 said. "But you did run off without telling me where you were heading, and while I'm not mad about it, it doesn't seem right to reward you for it."

"Awwww….." Joseph groaned.

"You could always just stay for dinner," Aerith suggested. "I cooked more than enough for everyone."


	196. Day Off

apparently I can only consistently remember to update 5 days. Sorry. I guess. (I was just trying to stick to a schedule for you guys, but clearly that isn't happening.)

* * *

><p>Dinner last night had been… eventful, to say the least. Joseph had spent most of it flicking breadcrumbs at Toby, who eventually started flicking things back. 29 had attempted to get them both to stop, but all he succeeded in doing was making sure Joseph didn't flick food at anyone <em>besides<em> Toby. Meanwhile, Yuffie'd tried to steal a roll from Riku, but hadn't managed. She'd been very upset about that.

The rest of dinner was just a jumble of conversation that Namine couldn't remember. She wasn't sure if memories typically faded like this over time, or if it was just because she'd been… preoccupied.

_"What is the point, then? That you're going to kill me, too?"_

_ "Oh, no, not yet. Killing you would be too merciful."_

She shuddered, shaking the image from her mind. She looked down at her picture, half expecting to see a figure huddled in a corner between darkness stained walls, like she'd drawn yesterday, but, no. It was still the dragon she'd started a few hours ago.

"Namine?"

She looked up. Aerith was standing in front of her.

"Can I sit next to you?" Aerith asked.

"Uh- yeah!" Namine said, nodding. "Sure."

Aerith sat down, clasping her hands together in her lap.

"And… can I… ask you something?"

Namine laughed.

"Shoot."

"Well…" Aerith let out a long breath. "This is going to sound a little weird. But. You can't, uh… predict the future, can you?"

"I- Not. No." Namine said. She kept her eyes fixed on her sketchbook, her grip on it and her pencil tightening. "Not really. Vague notions and occasional pictures but that's it. Nothing more."

"That sure sounds like predicting the future to me," Aerith said, a small laugh in her voice.

"It's not like I do it often, though," Namine retorted, narrowing her eyes. "It's probably just a coincidence when it does happen. Seeing the future is ridiculous, anyway, isn't it?"

Aerith chuckled, softly. "I know a couple of people who are capable of it. It's really not that strange of an ability."

Namine sighed. She set her pencil down before she could break it or ruin the drawing. "Why are you asking?" She tried not to sound too sharp, but she had a feeling she didn't succeed.

"You just… said something yesterday," Aerith explained. "Made me curious."

"Well, I can't see the future," Namine said, firmly. Whatever she'd drawn yesterday, whatever the voices were that played back in her head—it couldn't be the future. It couldn't be. There was no way something so _terrible,_ so _horrifying, _could be his future.

"Namine…" Aerith started.

"I _can't!_" Namine repeated, louder this time. "All this is just nightmares and- and it's not like I haven't drawn nightmares before! It wasn't real. It won't happen."

Aerith looked at her, sadly. "You should always trust your hunches," she said.

"It was just one picture—"

"_Even_ the bad ones."

Namine paused. Aerith sighed.

"It's not a hunch," Namine mumbled, kneading her forehead. "I'm just… _scared._"

"Of what…?"

"Of—"

But she couldn't say it. Couldn't admit it. The only thing that scared her more than the nightmare was the fact that it was _Riku, _in that nightmare, who frightened her the wasn't a pleasant feeling—it made her stomach twist in knots, and if she thought about it too much, she'd feel like she might puke.

"Well…" Aerith said, slowly. "If it ever comes up again… promise me you'll tell me about it?"

Her voice was gentle. Worried.

"I…"

"Please."

Namine took a deep breath.

"Yeah. I promise."

"Thank you."

Aerith got up and returned to the kitchen.

**_xXx_**

"Olympus again?" Kairi mused, shielding her eyes from the sun.

Tifa just shrugged and looked very pointedly in not-Kairi's-direction. Kairi frowned at her.

"Tifa…" she said, slowly.

"I, uh," Tifa cleared her throat. "May be trying to… 'accidentally' run into Cloud?"

Kairi laughed and rolled her eyes. "You really don't have to…"

"You want to see Sora, don't you?"

"Well, yeah!" Kairi laughed. "But they promised to meet up with us. I don't think I mind waiting too much. I mean, we've only got, what, a couple more days, right?"

"Four," Tifa replied, then frowned. "Or maybe it's three…"

"I can wait," Kairi said.

Sure, she would love to see Sora sooner rather than later, but what was three or four more days, _really_? She could wait. She would wait.

"You really think Cloud's here?" she asked, looking over at Tifa.

"He might be," Tifa replied. "He's here often enough." She shrugged, then threw a look at Kairi. "I thought you said you didn't need to see Sora right away."

"That doesn't mean I'm going to protest if he is here!"

Tifa chuckled. "Well, they're probably in the arena, if anywhere. Let's go check it out"

"Right."

Kairi nodded, and they headed for the doors of the arena. Before they could enter, a boy walked out, squeezing past them without saying anything. Kairi paused. Was that…? It couldn't have been… But there was no mistaking that hair.

Kairi nudged Tifa. "You, uh, sure we're in the right… universe?" she asked.

Tifa laughed. "Pretty sure! I don't think accidental-universe-travel can happen more than once. Why?"

Kairi pointed over at the boy. Roxas. At least it _looked_ like Roxas.

Tifa narrowed her eyes. "Is that… are you sure that's even the same boy?"

"How can it _not_ be?"

"Well… the other Roxas we met was a Nobody…" Tifa explained, slowly. "And last I checked—"

"—Sora never became a Heartless in this universe," Kairi finished, grimacing. "Oh. But that _looks_ just like Roxas! Maybe we could ask him…"

"That'd be weird! And rude. And." Tifa shook her head. "Besides, we were gonna check the arena for Cloud and Sora, weren't—"

"Sora?" a voice piped up. Both Tifa and Kairi jumped. It was Roxas who had spoken.

"Uh- yeah," Kairi stuttered after a moment. "You know him?"

"Yeah! Ran into him recently—though he wasn't in the arena." Roxas shrugged, then frowned, staring very intently at Kairi. "Do I… know you?" he asked, after a moment.

Kairi quickly shook her head, gulping a little. What if he'd overheard them discussing the other universe? Would he have believed them? Just been severely weirded out? And could she even tell him about another universe?

"Uh. No," she stammered. "Not exactly. I mean—"

"What'd you say your name was?" Roxas interrupted.

"Kairi," she replied automatically.

"Oh." Roxas broke into a grin. "Alright. I definitely don't know a Kairi. Your face just looked a little familiar, that's all. Threw me off."

"Oh!"

"What'd you say about Sora?" Tifa asked. "Though we should probably move away from the arena doors before you take the time to answer that."

They moved off to the side, though Roxas started his explanation as he did so.

"Yeah, I ran into Sora in Neverland a couple days ago," he said. "Not that we talked for very long, but—"

"Was there anyone else with him?" Tifa asked.

"Just one of the locals."

"Tall? Blond?"

"Nope." Roxas laughed. "Why? Looking for a boyfriend?"

Tifa rolled her eyes. "He's just my friend."

Roxas raised his hands in defeat, though he was still grinning.

"Oh, hey," Kairi said. "What's your name, anyway?"

It'd probably best if she had him tell them his name before they accidently called him by it. That way they'd avoid confusion.

"Roxas." He looked between the two of them. "You? Well, you told me your name, but you." He pointed at Tifa.

"Tifa."

"Cool."

Roxas didn't seem too impressed, though.

"How was Sora?" Kairi asked. "When you saw him? Was he okay?"

Roxas nodded. "Yeah! He was, ah, he was fine. He seemed fine."

Kairi frowned. That was a… strange answer. She opened her mouth to question him further, but didn't get the chance.

"Oh, Roxas," Tifa said, smiling a little. "You don't happen to know any light attacks, do you?"

Roxas's face lit up immediately. "Light attacks? Yeah, I think I know a few. Why?"

"Any chance you can give Kairi some pointers?"

Roxas grinned. "Sure thing! I've got time! Well—" He grimaced. "Nah. I've killed plenty of extra Heartless lately. Enough I deserve a day off, even! They shouldn't complain too much."

Tifa raised her eyebrows. "_They_?"

"Or- my employers," Roxas said. "I get paid to kill Heartless, and get paid based on how many I kill."

"Heartless drop munny…"

"Why should I complain if I can get paid extra for it? Certainly makes a living." There was a half-grin on Roxas's face. Obviously he was pretty proud of himself—Sora got that half-grin, too, when he was proud.

"Fair point," Tifa said.

"Have you ever gotten a day off?" Kairi found herself asking. There was something about Roxas that put her a little at ease. Even if he wasn't Sora's Nobody in this universe, the connection between them was still there, even if it was faint.

Roxas burst out laughing, then shook his head. "Nah! They wouldn't give me one, even if I have worked overtime to make up for it. Trust me, I've tried before! Y'know, working overtime… to… get a day off…" He blinked a few times, his face going blank.

Kairi tilted her head at him.

He blinked again and shook his head, as if to clear it. "They- they didn't give me one then," he continued, quickly. "They wouldn't give me one now."

"That doesn't seem fair!" Kairi protested.

Roxas shrugged. "Well, Nothing's Fair. Anyway," he broke into a grin again. "Light attacks?"


	197. Wingblade

*jazz hands* I don't have anything to say

* * *

><p>"Anyway," Roxas broke into a grin again. "Light attacks?" He looked around, his grin falling pretty quickly. "Ah… I already killed all the Heartless in this area. The only ones left would be in the games… and that's not a good place to teach someone an attack."<p>

"No, it's really not," Tifa agreed.

Roxas frowned, thinking hard. It was the same face Sora made.

"I could… always attack one of you," he suggested, after a moment. The grin returned to his face. "I mean, I'll try not to go too hard. Plus I've got a couple extra hi-potions!"

So they were going to duel. Well, spar, technically.

Tifa considered it for a while, too. "That could work…" she concluded, finally.

Kairi gave her a look. "You sure?"

She supposed she didn't _mind_ sparring, but they technically didn't _know _Roxas all that well. And, okay, maybe she did mind sparring a little. It had always been so stupid to her back on the Islands, and doing it now seemed a little silly.

"Positive," Tifa said. She nodded for extra emphasis. "You have to train against actual people sometime—besides, the chances of anyone getting hurt are slim. If we're only doing light attacks, I'm fairly resistant to them, and I'm pretty sure they can't hurt you at all."

Tifa gave her a knowing look. After a moment, Kairi got it. She was a Princess of Heart. Pure Light. Of course it couldn't hurt her.

"Oh."

"Great!" Roxas laughed. Kairi was sure he couldn't grin wider. "Which one of you am I fighting?"

"Ah, probably me," Kairi said. It'd make sense. She was the one who was going to be learning, and if he couldn't hurt her at all…

Tifa shook her head, though. "No. Me." She smiled at Kairi. "You'll have a harder time trying to copy what he's doing if you're too busy blocking him."

"Whatever works!" Roxas laughed. He moved so he was more in the open part of the area, hunching down into a battle stance. He rubbed his hands together. "Alright… let's see… what sort of attacks do I know?" He frowned a little. "Do I know any attacks outside of my limit?"

Tifa readied herself to block, also moving out into the open. Kairi stayed where she was, keeping her eyes on Roxas.

"Oh wait! Who am I kidding?" Roxas shook his head. "Yeah I do!"

He spread his hands out in front of him, a ball of light forming between them. The ball slowly straightened out until it was shaped like a blade, then it split in two. The two blades flew behind him, joining four more blades at his back. All six of them lined up looked vaguely like wings.

Roxas grinned, a cocky half-grin, before grabbing two of the blades and launching himself at Tifa. Kairi wasn't sure how many times he hit her, but it was at least five or six. He jumped back, grabbing the next set of blades, attacking again. Then the last set of blades. Then he stood back, summoning all six of the blades again. They spun in the air, surrounding Tifa, before striking against the ground and letting out a large burst of light.

"Yowch!" Tifa shouted, though it was more of an exclamation than a cry of pain. "That could really do some damage."

Roxas immediately dug a hi-potion out of his pocket. "Here," he said, offering it to her. "That drained you quite a bit, didn't it?"

Tifa shook herself, then took the hi-potion from him. "Yeah, but only a little." She threw her head back and downed the hi-potion. "I'm fine. That looks a little advanced for a beginner, though."

Roxas grimaced and looked at Kairi. "You're a beginner?"

She shrugged. "That attack looked really cool, though!"

"Yeah, and I'm sure with enough practice you can get it!" Roxas said. "I miiiight not be the best teacher, though. But, let's see what you can do! Why don't you try summoning some light?"

Kairi took a wider stance, holding her hands out in front of her and concentrating. The light came easily, though it stayed in roughly the shape of a ball.

"Okay, good. Now concentrate. Try and make it look like a blade."

Kairi squinted her eyes, pouring her energy to it. The light stretched out, warping a few times, before taking on a blade-like shape. She smiled.

"There you go!" Roxas punched her on the shoulder, playfully. She closed her hand around the blade of light, flushing red. He'd only touched her for a second. Why had it made her heart skip so?

"It's nothing fancy," Roxas continued, like he hadn't noticed. He probably hadn't, especially if he was anything like Sora. "But it's a start, and it's still pretty cool!"

"Y-yeah." Kairi nodded.

"Well, go on! Take a few practice swings." He grinned at her. He looked just like Sora.

Kairi tried to not let it distract her, and took a few swings. She _thought_ she was doing okay—she'd never technically wielded a blade before, but she'd watch Sora practice a million times. He'd shown her a little of the basics with his wooden sword, too.

"No no no, your form is all wrong," Roxas said. "Like this." He took the stance again, to demonstrate.

"Like this?" she asked, moving to imitate him.

He looked at her, then frowned. "No," he sighed. He moved so he was behind her, then repositioned her arms. "Feet further apart. You need a wider stance to balance yourself."

"Mm." Kairi nodded her head, straightening as well as she could when Roxas was standing _right there._ She looked down at her toes, to judge how far apart they were, though really she was just grateful for the excuse to look down so she could hide how hard she was blushing. Imagine if Roxas saw, or worse, _Tifa_ saw.

She wasn't even sure why she was blushing so hard, though Roxas's proximity was probably part of it. His warmth at her back, his hands on her arms, his breath near her face. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable… but maybe that was why it bugged her. If any other person she'd met five minutes ago had done this, she'd have probably punched them. But she felt no such urge to punch Roxas. She only felt a little breathless.

"There you go," Roxas said, pulling away from her. She wondered if he felt like she did, or if it was only her. "That looks about right. Try again. It's an extension of your body, remember?"

Kairi swung again. Roxas didn't seem impressed.

"I don't know how to wield a blade," Kairi explained. She didn't look at him straight on, though that'd clue him on to her embarrassment as much as him seeing how red she was. "I've never done it before."

"I figured," Roxas said. "Hmm. Well, it's good enough, I suppose. At least your form is _okay._ It's not like you need to do this too much, anyway, right? This is just for show." That grin was back on his face. He seemed pretty laid back. "You wanna try something else? I know one more thing I can teach you."

"Alright." Kairi banished the light-blade.

"Do you need me?" Tifa asked. She was smirking a little. Kairi tried not to think about why.

Roxas shook his head. "Nah. This one doesn't need a target." He turned to Kairi, smiling encouragingly. "Just watch. This one's a lot easier."

He took his stance again, closing his eyes, focusing. After a second, he began to glow with light. A second longer, and the light solidified, sharpened, and then shot out of him in pillars.

"Think you can do that?" he asked.

Kairi nodded. "Think so."

She took a battle stance—falling into one Tifa had taught her, not the one Roxas had shown her. She closed her eyes, focusing her energy, thinking _pillars._

She felt the light leave her, even if she opened her eyes too late to see it.

"Nice one, Xion!" Roxas laughed. He was grinning widely, definitely impressed now.

Kairi frowned, though. "Excuse me…?" she said.

What… had he called her?

"What?" Roxas said, looking confused.

"You said…."

"I said 'nice one, Kairi'."

"…oh." Kairi grimaced, looked over at Tifa. Tifa just shrugged.

_Either he didn't realize it, or he's playing dumb because he's embarrassed, _Kairi concluded. _I wonder who Xion is, though…_

"Anyway, I really need to go," Roxas said. "This was fun, though!"

"Yeah!" Kairi nodded. "And thanks!"

"No problem." He grinned. "We should, uh, do this again, yeah?"

"Ah." She chuckled, nervously. "Maybe."

"We could meet here again. Or…" He shrugged. "I've always wanted to go to a beach…"

"I live on a beach!" Kairi blurted. She blinked, grimacing at herself. "Well. My homeworld. It's an island."

"Awesome!" Roxas laughed. "We could meet up there—where exactly is it?"

"Destiny Islands," she replied automatically. She chewed her lip. What was she getting herself into? "We could… always meet here, though. And then go."

"Yeah! That'll work!" Roxas nodded enthusiastically. "Say, three days from now?"

Kairi shook her head. "I'm busy then."

That was when she was going to see Sora.

"Aw." Roxas made a face, clearly disappointed. "How about in a week?"

"I… think I can do that."

"Great! It's a date! Well, not a date. It's…" He chuckled. "Yeah."

She laughed. "Yeah."

Roxas ran off.

"What was that about, hmm?" Tifa asked. She nudged Kairi playfully, eyebrows raised.

"I don't even know," Kairi groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"You still gonna see him in a week?"

Kairi shrugged. "He seems like a nice guy. There can't be any harm in it… besides, if he's never been to a beach before…" She shrugged again. Shook her head. "I don't know…."

"What about Sora?" Tifa asked. She chuckled. "What'll you tell him about it? Tell him you have a hot date?"

"I'll- no!" Kairi glared, smacked Tifa on the arm. "It's not a date! And I will tell Sora that and either I'll make him come with me—he probably won't mind and if Roxas minds, tough. Or I'll just tell Sora that I want to be alone with Roxas, but…" She laughed, then. "Now that I think about it, I can't tell Sora not to come. It's his home too."

Tifa just laughed. "I still can't believe you just agreed to go on a date with a boy you met five minutes ago."

"It's _not_ a date!"

Tifa shook her head and just kept laughing.


	198. Etched Memories

So I got sucked into Mother 3. It was a good game. I cried. I'd definitely recommend it if you could play it in english without an extreme amount of hassle. (You have to run it through an emulator. Tho if that's no problem for you _go get the game and the english patch for it trust me it's a good game_)

Also look at that we're only 2 chapters away from special chapter 200. Ooooohhhh.

* * *

><p>"So how were today's missions?" Axel asked, chuckling a little.<p>

"Alright," Roxas replied. He chuckled a little, too. He liked Axel's perpetually-laid-back attitude about everything. Or most things. "Easy as always."

He laughed now. Axel laughed too.

Roxas shifted a little, looking at his feet. "I met a girl," he said, under his breath.

"Oh _boy,_" Axel laughed. He was grinning widely. "What sorta girl? She must've been real special if she stuck out to you."

"Yeah," Roxas said. He chuckled nervously. "Well I… talked to her. For a bit."

"Uhhh huuuh."

Roxas shrugged. That was really it. He met Kairi. He talked to her. Showed her some attacks—not that he'd tell Axel that. He wouldn't tell Axel about the fact that he and Kairi were planning meeting up in a week, either.

"She was… kinda familiar," he said, after a moment.

It was the one thing he'd never forget about her. Her familiarity—even though he'd just met her—had burned into him. The way he somehow remembered her smile the moment he saw it, how his ears registered her laughter like it was something he'd heard a thousand times before. There was something about Kairi in her entirety that had been engraved into his mind long before he met her and so spending time with her was… familiar. Comfortable. He couldn't describe it.

He couldn't describe how her voice tugged at him, how the warmth of her body had pulled him, how watching her fight has sparked something inside of him. Something that he could only partially remember. Something that beat in his chest so clearly when he was next to Kairi.

"Really?" Axel asked. He seemed intrigued.

"Yeah." Roxas slowly nodded. "Something about… her voice. Her face. Everything. Everything about her was so familiar and—"

"That would be Kairi," 26 interrupted. Roxas looked up, a little confused. He didn't remember 26 being anywhere near them. Or even in the room. "She knows Sora," 26 continued. "That is why she is familiar to you. Sora's memories are calling out from within you. That is all."

Roxas laughed in disbelief. "Well I knew she knew Sora!"

They'd talked about him for a little bit! Of course he knew that she knew Sora. That she and Sora had been best friends since they could walk. That…

Oh…

"You think that's it?" Roxas asked, quietly. "_That's_... why she was familiar?"

The excitement was fading from him. The thought that Kairi reminded him of something else—something different. Something more… _exotic_ than merely Sora's memories that were still etched in the back of him.

But considering the fact he could list various details about Sora and Kairi's childhoods together, he was beginning to think that that wasn't the case. It really was just Sora's memories. Nothing exotic at all.

"I don't see any other logical explanation," 26 said.

Roxas nodded. There really couldn't be another one, could there? Who'd have a mystery girl in the back of their mind? And even if someone did—even if _he_ did—the fact that said mystery girl was nearly exactly like Kairi… well… it probably _was _just Kairi.

"Also, Roxas, I believe you have a couple of mission reports that are still due," 26 said.

Roxas looked up, glaring. "Are you kidding?" he asked. "I was just fighting Heartless! Why do I need to write reports on—" He stopped. Groaned. He wasn't going to get out of it. "_Fine._"

Maybe writing the reports would give him some more time to digest this whole thing about Kairi…

**_xXx_**

Axel waited until Roxas was gone, and then grabbed 26 by the cloak and slammed him into the nearest wall.

"I am getting _really_ sick of this!" he spat. "It's like I can't have a conversation with him without you showing up and interrupting me."

"I'm not entirely pleased with being forced to follow you around, either," 26 replied. Somehow he was still calm. Unafraid enough to smirk a little. "But we wouldn't want you to let something slip, would we?"

"What. Would. It. _Do?_" Axel hissed, bringing his face just inches from 26's.

"Do you want Roxas to break?" 26 didn't even break eye contact. "If he remembers Xion…" He shook his head. "I cannot even begin to describe what could go wrong."

"You're bluffing."

26 narrowed his eyes, lips forming into a thin line. He was silent for a moment, then:

"I know what happened in Castle Oblivion."

Axel's eyes went wide. His grip on 26's cloak loosened.

"Threaten me or push me around like this again, and I will not hesitate to tell Lord Xemnas," 26 continued. "So I suggest you leave me alone."

Axel let go.

26 brushed himself off, keeping his chin up, gathering his pride about him. "And I don't know for certain," he said. "But I'm fairly positive you should be out looking for Vexen. You may have placated Lord Xemnas for now, but sooner or later he's going to want results. If you want your 'failed' trip to Castle Oblivion to remain believable, you need to keep looking."

Axel let out a long breath, fists clenched, body shaking. "Understood," he ground out through clenched teeth.

It infuriated him to have this Vexen Replica, of all people, push him around like this. But he couldn't risk Xemnas finding out about Castle Oblivion. Or worse, finding out that he hadn't told.

"And when you see Vexen, please inform him that I am more than flattered by the fact he thinks I'm a genius," 26 said. And then he walked off.

**_xXx_**

"You know that feeling I get before I have a meltdown?" Namine asked, looking up from her drawing.

Riku looked up from the book Aerith had lent him. "You get those?" he asked, squinting his eyes at her.

"I'm getting one now," Namine replied.

"Okay. Uhm." Riku fumbled for his bookmark, closed his book. Except he hadn't put the bookmark in the book. He cursed under his breath and opened the book to roughly the same spot and shoved the bookmark between the pages. "Okay." He looked at Namine, expectantly, not sure what to say.

They'd only returned to Castle Oblivion a few hours ago, so this was a little sudden. Well, every meltdown was sudden. Well—

"Actually, that's _weird,_" Riku said, scrunching up his face. "That you can feel it coming."

"No it's not," Namine replied, moving her sketchbook aside. She tapped her head. "I can feel it in here. A dull pounding. Give it five minutes and it'll be worse." She got to her feet. "We should head to the Main Room."

"Ehh? Why?" Riku asked, squinting harder at her. She was coherent right now, wasn't she? There were sometimes, during a meltdown, that she wasn't. But she _looked_ coherent, and she _sounded_ coherent.

"So Alpha can watch me throw it off and not say I'm a liar?" Namine suggested, shrugging, though she was glaring very furiously. "Like he basically did when he told him after the first time we threw one off."

"To be fair, we were really dodgy about it," Riku said. He coughed, awkwardly.

They'd been understandably dodgy, having not wanted to tell Alpha—or anyone—about the fact they'd kissed. That was something they'd agreed to keep as private as they possibly could.

Namine sighed. "Well, yeah, but he'll still be awful about it and you know it."

"You sure you want to be sitting in the Main Room, though?" Riku asked, suppressing a groan. "I mean, how, uh, private do you think this is going to be?"

"You want to tell Alpha to come sit in here?" Namine folded her arms across her chest. "Because he's not going to believe us unless he sees it with his own eyes."

"Ah…"

"Besides, then we'll get performance anxiety," she joked, a smile flashing briefly across her lips.

He chuckled and shook his head.

"Are you sure, though?" He looked up at her again, shifting so he was on the edge of the bed. "I mean… this seems a little ridiculous."

"I just want Alpha off our backs."

"Yeah, but… what if it doesn't work?"

"Well, then, it'll go like it always does. Like every other meltdown has." Namine shrugged. "I mean, the worst that can happen is you have to kiss me in public."

"Oh, I'd rather not," he groaned, rubbing his head at the thought. "Not that I- I just. If _Joseph_ finds out."

Namine laughed. "He's not gonna be that awful about it!"

"You say about the boy who considered shoving me through a dark corridor so I'd talk to you. And the boy who purposefully sat so close to us that you'd have to move and sit on my lap."

"Okay, fine!" Namine rolled her eyes. "If it gets to that point, we can just poof to your room! Or, y'know, my room. One of our rooms."

Riku let out a long sigh. "You _really_ want to go to the Main Room?"

"Would you rather we tell Alpha he can watch the security footage for proof?"

"Well-" Riku began. Paused. Grimaced. "I destroyed the cameras…"

Namine thrust her hands out, gesturing to the air beside her like _there. There is the point I was making. _"Exactly!" she said.

"Okay fine."


	199. Anchor

I'm *gasp* a day early

And I think that's all I had to say...

* * *

><p>Namine led Riku over to one of the couches near where Alpha is sitting. Alpha and Amaryllis looked up at them as they approached, but the glances only lasted a second before they returned to their conversation.<p>

"But it's been ages since there's been a raid," Amaryllis argued, his voice quiet. "Are you _sure_—"

"Amaryllis, we've been over this," Alpha interrupted, sounding more than annoyed. "They have the Program and Roxas. They don't _need_ to raid us."

Namine settled on the couch, leaning largely against Riku. She opened her sketchbook—she'd brought it with her so that Alpha wouldn't assume anything suspicious. So it would seem like they'd just decided to come sit out here. She flipped to an older picture—the one of the dragon she hadn't completely finished yet. If she was working on it when the meltdown finally hit, it'd be harder for Alpha to accuse her of forcing the meltdown.

"Riku," she whispered, nudging him.

He looked down at her, and she pointed to the picture.

"That's cool," Riku said, though he seemed a little confused.

"It's not finished yet," Namine replied.

She'd only wanted to make sure Riku saw what she was working on so he could vouch for her later if Alpha were to ask questions.

"What about Namine?" Amaryllis hissed. He cast a hesitant look in her direction. "Do they still want her?"

"I'm sure they still _want_ her," Riku said. "I mean, it was 37 and L who came up with that plan—and this is a Larxene we're talking about. They enjoy being needlessly cruel."

Namine froze. There was a catch in Riku's voice—an extra layer of venom behind his words. An extra layer of anger. Namine gripped her sketchbook tightly, trying to contain the shudders that shook her shoulders, trying to resist the urge to flip to a blank page and draw the darkness scarred walls and a darkness-cloaked—

No, no, _no._

She refused to draw it.

"…probably can't," Alpha was saying. Namine attempted to focus her concentration on that instead. "Why would the Organization waste time and energy going after Namine when they have Roxas and he's just as capable of… y'know. Killing you." He looked directly at Riku. "We've been over this."

"We have," Namine agreed, but her voice cracked a little. "I didn't like this discussion," she added, to cover it up.

She didn't like the discussion because they'd discussed the chances of her being rewritten. One of her other nightmares.

_"They aren't going to kidnap her." _Alpha's voice. In her head. _"…the whole purpose of kidnapping her… to Rewrite her to—"_

_ "Are you saying… that he'd Rewrite me to—"_

_ To kill Riku._

She bit her lip. She could feel the memories pounding in her head.

_"What? Too scared to fight me?"_

_ "I don't want to fight you…"_

_ "Fine! Sit there and let me kill you for all I care!"_

_Yup…, _she thought, with a sigh, squeezing her eyes shut. _There the meltdown is._

At least this nightmare was better than the other one. It scared her less. The chances of being Rewritten were slimmer. The chances of—

"You okay?" Riku asked. She felt him lift her sketchbook from her lap—her hands were already curled around her head.

"Y- yeah…"

"A meltdown…?" Alpha said. He sounded… judgmental. Suspicious? Whatever it was, she definitely didn't like the tone of his voice. It made her angry. Made her focus.

_Come on,_ she thought. _Just like we discussed. Happy memories. Happy memories to counteract the bad ones._

She took a deep breath, trying to think about the moment after she'd told Riku about that nightmare. That was happy, wasn't it?

_"You have to promise me you won't just sit there and let me kill you!"_

_ "But I'd sooner—"_

Maybe it wasn't.

_Something else,_ she told herself. _There's gotta be something—_

And she saw it again. The walls of Castle Oblivion, marred by darkness. She didn't just see it, she _felt_ it, tasted the stale air, could make out every detail in sharp and painful contrast. There, in the corner. A figure—she dared not think who—cowering in fear. And then she heard it.

Riku. Laughing. _Gleefully._

"Riku, _no,_" she gasped.

"I- I'm sorry," he stammered. His arms were around her, holding her head to his chest, but with the words he distanced himself a little. He moved his hands away from her.

She tried to blink the memory away, tried shove it aside, and buried her face in his chest, clenching the fabric of his shirt between her fingers. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean—"

"It- it's okay," he told her, and his arms were around her again. "It's okay I just- I don't know what to do." He was stuttering and stumbling over his words. "What are we supposed to do how is this supposed to work? You said- happy memories? But how am I supposed to help?"

His frantic words weren't helping. They only fed the meltdown, fueled the nightmare. But she wasn't sure how to tell him that, and his voice _was_ something of a distraction, so she just clung tighter to him.

He went silent, and stayed silent. He moved closer, bending down, mouth against her ear.

"Should I kiss you?"

The words were less heard and more felt. Like he hadn't quite spoken them aloud.

The words anchored her, even if only for a second.

"No," she told him, stuttering. "No you shouldn't hang on I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

But the anchor was gone and the image wouldn't leave her mind. The nightmare was still haunting her. She was trying so hard to be strong and counteract the meltdown like she should be able to but it was too much. And she could feel the tears rolling from her eyes and pooling somewhere between her cheekbones and Riku's chest and—

_"Let's see what it takes to make you scream."_

Larxene's words.

Except it wasn't her voice.

It was Riku's.

Just the thought of it made Namine cry harder. She clung to Riku and clutched at him, grappling for an anchor, trying to pull herself out of that nightmare. She thought of different ones, tried to throw herself into them because they were better—anything was better—than this one. Except everything led back to it. Every memory, every thought, every breath.

"Remember Hollow Bastion?" Riku whispered, suddenly, his voice soft and almost wistful. His mouth was still near her ear, close enough that she could feel his lips move against it. "Just two days ago? Remember how we all crowded up in the guest bedroom as Aerith read that book? That wonderful book with the dragons and silly king and stuck up elf…"

She took a deep breath. There it was. Her anchor.

"You drew like twenty pictures." He chuckled—still heavy with sadness and worry but definitely a chuckle. "I watched you. Castles and forests and dragons and—"

She grabbed onto his words and constructed the scene around her in her mind. Her and Riku all curled up on the bed. Aerith perched at the end of it, reading aloud from the book. Yuffie on the floor near the door and Leon by the dresser. Cid had dragged a chair into the room, and was blocking the doorway.

And she had had her sketchbook open her lap, doodling as she listened. Dragons and princesses and a lion pacing in an emerald green forest—not that she'd had time to color it green.

"And the day before that?" Riku continued. "Remember? You learned magic."

She constructed that scene around her, too. Her and Aerith standing across each other, Aerith explaining gently what she needed to do and Namine hesitantly trying it out.

"That was fun!" Riku said. "It was awesome. It was… amazing. You're amazing. I—"

He stopped abruptly. She could feel his heart racing in his chest.

She pressed her face against him but it was no use.

She couldn't stop the giggles from coming.

"Oh my gosh, Riku," she gasped.

The air around them felt really hot.

"Forget I said it," Riku coughed.

"No, keep talking," she said. "Please."

"Is it working?"

"I just like hearing you talk."

She was teasing. Largely. So he wouldn't notice how shaken she was.

"I- I've- what else is there?" Riku asked. He shook his head, just slightly—she could feel his hair brush against her neck as he moved. "I've run out of things to talk about."

"There's gotta be something…" she murmured.

"I-"

"Tell me about dinner," she whispered, voice cracking. "Please…"

She needed him to keep talking. She could feel the meltdown lessening, drowned in the thoughts of Hollow Bastion but it hadn't stopped completely. It was still pounding. And the nightmare was still whispering in her mind…

"I need you to keep talking," she pleaded, trying to keep herself from trembling. She doubted she was successful.

"Dinner?" he asked. "Where Joseph spilled his glass in Cid's lap? 29 yelled at him but it was an accident. And Joseph whined. All night. And when he wasn't whining he was flicking things at me." Riku groaned a little. "29 eventually made him stop that but he flicked things at Toby instead, and Toby flicked things back and some of the things ended up in Cid's plate and-"

Namine smiled. She didn't remember all of this, but the thought was still amusing.

"And Yuffie tried to steal bread from me. She didn't manage." Riku laughed, almost triumphantly. "So she stole from Cid. Which was funny because he was on the other side of the table but somehow I'm the only one who noticed her steal it?"

Namine remembered this bit, so it was easier to construct the scene in her head again, throw herself into the moment. If she relived as much as she could of these memories, then the memories from the meltdown couldn't pull her under.

"Did you know that wasn't the first time she tried to steal from me, though?" Riku asked. "She tried to steal bacon from me. A…. week or two ago. When I was over there. Of course she couldn't steal the bacon, either. She seemed surprised. Everyone seemed surprised."

Riku shrugged, let out a long breath. He was calm. His heartbeat had slowed to a steady pace, his breathing even. She tried to match hers with his.

"Breakfast with them was nice," he said. "Yeah… nice. Nothing… exciting happened but it was nice. Just sharing breakfast together. Aerith only nodded off once. Yuffie was too tired to argue and Cid only complained that he'd burned himself on the bacon but. It was nice."

Namine tried to imagine this scene, and succeeded well enough. Cid swearing under his breath about bacon was easy enough to picture. Aerith falling asleep sitting up wasn't something she believed could happen in real life, but it was an entertaining thought.

"I can't… describe it…" Riku whispered. "I just… even if it'd gone terribly I don't think I could complain because- it's- it's home."

Namine grinned against his chest.

He shifted his weight, almost anxiously. He cleared his throat. Cleared it again.

"You good?" he asked. "It stop?"

"Mmmmmhmmmm," she replied, slowly, dragging the sound out. She didn't move.

He let out a long sigh, more frustrated this time. "This is why I didn't want to… y'know… and… where everyone can… …I know I was… but I…" He kept mumbling like that, and eventually she laughed and distanced herself from him so she could look him in the face.

"What's the matter?" she asked. She was teasing.

"I just said all that _out loud_ and it's not like we're in private," he hissed.

She giggled. "You didn't say anything bad."

"I still said some embarrassing things. You sure this was necessary?"

"Yeah." She nodded and straightened further, turning to look straight at Alpha. She took a deep breath. "I said I could throw off a meltdown," she said, firmly.

"I never said you couldn't?" he replied, sounding a little confused. He considered her thoughtfully for a while. "So how'd you do it?"

"Happy memories!" Namine told him, practically singing. The reality of the fact of what she'd just managed to do was settling down on her, and it was _exciting._ "To counteract the bad ones!"

Alpha raised his eyebrows. "And Riku—?"

"I'm preeetty sure there's no correlation between him and the meltdowns," Namine said. She shrugged. "All he did was help me keep my mind on happy memories. Theoretically I could do it without his help—"

"The fact you can do it at all is accomplishment enough," Riku whispered. There was a smile in his voice, and it was contagious.

"But… how exactly did you do it?" Alpha asked, squinting. "It just… stopped?"

Namine thought about it for a moment, trying to describe how it worked. It'd been harder to pay attention this time, but if it was anything like the first time they'd stopped a meltdown, then…

"I drowned it," she answered. "Drowned it in memories that don't control me, don't scare me, won't consume me." She nodded. "The meltdowns are just memories that consume me, if only briefly. If it's happy memories, they either don't consume me, or it's harder to notice." She smiled, shrugged. "That's the best way I can describe it."

Alpha sighed. "Well, I suppose, as long as you can stop them," he muttered, turning away.

Namine let out a breath and made herself comfortable leaning against Riku.

"I knew I could do it," she whispered, closing her eyes and surrendering to his warmth. Even if the meltdown had stopped, she was exhausted.

He pressed his face into her hair.

"_I_ never doubted you."


	200. This is a Special Chapter

This is a special chapter! Yay! It's loosely based off a prompt which was like "what would your characters do to finish the story if you vanished all of a sudden" and I'll link you to the post and my initial thoughts about it on the blog

But besides being loosely based on that prompt this chapter is largely just a present to me where I said "frik the rules" and had fun. (No regrets. Except maybe that that one joke didn't turn out as good as initially intended...)

OH AND ONE MORE THING I'M SORRY i wrote this about a month ago meaning I was at the Desolation of Smaug Premiere "at the time" but I honestly didn't go see it last night I saw it a month ago jsyk

* * *

><p><strong>Ch119 ~ what really happened<strong>

**(we went back and fixed it later)**

"…probably can't," Alpha was saying. Namine attempted to focus her concentration on that instead. "Why would the Organization waste time and energy going after Namine when they have Roxas and he's just as capable of… y'know. Killing you." He looked directly at Riku. "We've been over this."

"We have," Namine agreed, but her voice cracked a little. "I didn't like this discussion," she added, to cover it up.

She didn't like the discussion because they'd discussed the chances of her being rewritten. One of her other nightmares.

_"They aren't going to kidnap her." _Alpha's voice. In her head. _"…the whole purpose of kidnapping her… to Rewrite her to—"_

_"Are you saying… that he'd Rewrite me to—"_

_To kill Riku._

She bit her lip. She could feel the memories pounding in her—

Wait a minute.

Her tense shoulders slumped, and she narrowed her eyes into a confused squint. She sat there for a moment, crinkling her nose, but nothing changed. Her mind was empty—at least, of memories, anyway.

"Namine?" Riku asked, worried.

"Ah…" Namine dragged the word out, still confused. "…it stopped." She said, after a moment.

Alpha looked up from what he was doing, eyes wide. "The meltdown? _That_ quickly?"

"Well it didn't like… stop…" Namine explained, wiggling her fingers in front of her as she searched for the words. "It… uh… …I ran out of memories?" She shrugged. "Like, uh… well."

She was saved from having to explain—at least for the moment—because Joseph suddenly came running into the room, screaming incoherently at the top of his lungs. He shoved past three different Vexens and one of the Marluxias before launching himself over one of the couches, running across one of the tables, and then finally stopping himself against the couch Alpha was sitting on.

"We've lost contact with rar!" he gasped, panting for air.

"_That!_" Namine said, pointing at him. "That is what my problem is!"

"Since when do you need rar to prompt your meltdowns?" Alpha asked.

"Since this one was only happening for Plot Purposes and no other reason, meaaaaning it was a little… clunky?" Namine shrugged. "Or it will be? Maybe it won't be. I don't know. We won't know until we get contact back again."

"What do you mean we've _lost contact?_" Riku demanded, getting to his feet. "We don't just _lose contact_ with her! Does she have a friend over?"

Joseph shook his head.

"Been playing a lot of video games?" Riku asked.

"She hasn't gotten any new ones recently, so no," Joseph replied.

"Sleeping?"

"Nope. It was way too sudden for that. Also we get warning about sleep and don't actually completely lose contact with her when she is sleeping."

Riku threw his hands up in the air. "Then what _happened_?"

"I don't know!" Joseph replied, throwing his hands up in the air, too. "I figured you might know?"

Riku shook his head, looking horrified. "Has something happened to her?"

Joseph just shrugged and shook his head again. "I don't know."

Riku raked a hand through his hair, distraught. "She hasn't like… _died?_"

"We would've noticed," Namine said. "We definitely would've noticed if she were… yeah. We would know." She nodded once. Then nodded again.

Riku bit his knuckle, pacing back and forth. "She's probably not dead… but what if something else happened to her?" he mumbled around his hand. "What if… or if… …anything could've… especially with how she's… and there's…"

"Riku." Namine got up, grabbed him by the arm to stop him from pacing, then pulled his hand away from his mouth. "You're going to bite that finger off…"

"I'm sure it's nothing to serious," Joseph said, grinning.

"Then why'd you _run in here_ screaming like that?" Riku shouted, rounding on him.

Joseph took a step back. "Because….?" He shrugged, slowly, looking guilty. "I was worried too?"

"She should get back to us soon," Namine said. "…right?"

Riku sighed, rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, hopefully."

**X**

**Meanwhile with Shad**

"Ugh how much _longer_?" he groaned, pacing back and forth. The seconds couldn't tick by fast enough. "What was it supposed to be? Four, five—"

Wait.

He paused, straightening. There was a sudden… emptiness in the back of his mind. And not a bad emptiness, like his lack of connection with Sora—though that was still absent—but a _good_ emptiness.

Slowly, a grin spread across his face.

"_Fuck_ yeah," he whispered, and vanished.

**_xXx_**

He reappeared in, well, he wasn't sure what world it was. He just knew it was the world where Sora was currently staying. If rar wasn't here to stop him, then rar wasn't here to stop him. He could see Sora.

He found Sora—and, unfortunately, Cloud—sitting near a wall that _looked_ like it was surrounding a Castle. Or a town? But weren't there supposed to be moats around those sort of places? There was no moat here, just a lot of dirt and grass.

Cloud was sitting on a nearby rock, working on something with his hands. It almost looked like he was carving something out of wood. Sora was sitting on the ground near the wall, a phone held to his ear. He wasn't talking, just listening.

Sora's Shadow slowly snuck up to Sora. Cloud was too engrossed with his woodwork to notice, and Sora had his eyes closed. He reached out, a smile growing on his face, and tapped Sora on the shoulder.

"_Boo,_" he whispered.

Sora dropped the phone, jumped about three feet in the air, and quickly scrambled away from him, kicking up a bit of mud as he did so. His Shadow couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

"Wh- what are you doing here?!" Sora demanded, straightening. "It's- it's not-" He frowned, hard. "I- I thought it was your _wolf_ that- Disney Castle. And. It's not even time yet?" He squinted.

Sora's Shadow dropped to the ground, placing his hands on either side of Sora's knees. He leaned forward, keeping himself in not-quite Sora's personal space.

"We've lost contact with rar," he said, with a smirk.

"Oh." Sora's face went blank. He blinked a few times. "And you came to tell me?"

"More like… I came to bug you because she couldn't tell me no."

He smirked a little wider, running his tongue over the side of his lips.

Sora grimaced. "Oh…"

He scooted backwards a little. His Shadow immediately lunged forward, so he was nearly on top of Sora, and their noses were bumping together. Sora's breath quickened. His own heart started racing.

"Wh- what are you doing?" Sora stammered, leaning back as far as he could to put distance between them.

"Bugging you."

**X**

**and suddenly Sora's POV!**

"Well can you _not?_" Sora snapped, scrambling further backwards.

"What's the matter?" his Shadow laughed, inching closer.

"Y- you're freaking me out!" Sora gasped. It was hard to breathe, and he didn't like how his heart was racing, nor did he like the sly and way-too-pleased grin on his Shadow's face.

"Oh?"

In a flash Sora found himself pressed up against the wall, his Shadow's fist gripped around his shirt. Sora let out a groan of pain, but it was quickly lost. His Shadow pressed his other hand against his chest, pushing him into the wall.

"I'm just getting started…" his Shadow whispered, leaning in close so his mouth was by Sora's ear.

Sora's eyes went wide. "Let _go_ of me!"

"Oh, so we're starting that now, are we?"

"_Starting!?_"Sora tried to shove his Shadow off of him, liking this position a lot less than their previous one. "We- we don't even- _you _don't- I- I said _let go_ of me!"

"Why?" His Shadow's voice was quiet, almost impossible to hear, except they were way too close to each other. He rested his forehead against Sora's cheek, his breath hot on Sora's neck. He chuckled, lightly. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Sora squirmed under him. _Yes_ he was uncomfortable. _Yes._ Their proximity was _weird_ not to mention _unwanted_, and the fact that it made his stomach get butterflies only made it _worse. _

His Shadow just laughed again, enjoying himself. He nuzzled his face against Sora's neck, and Sora went rigid, knees shaking. He bit his lip to avoid making any noise, but it was hard. This felt… nice. Except- _no. No _that was his _Shadow. _The boy- being… person… _thing_ that had repeatedly tried to drag him into darkness, beat him, _hurt _him. His face stung at the memory.

And now his Shadow was trying to… _seduce_ him. Into darkness? Or he hoped that was going to be the end result of this if it continued, though nagging information in the back of his head told him otherwise.

"Wh- what's all this about, any- anyway?" he stammered, cringing. He couldn't even speak straight. Whatever his Shadow was planning on, he seemed to be succeeding. Between where his Shadow was and his warm breath and body heat and how Sora could feel _his_ heart pounding through their chests—

Between that- between that and—no. It was entirely that. He couldn't think straight because of it and it was awful. He shouldn't be _enjoying_ this—not that he really was. Exactly.

"Well, without rar here…" his Shadow murmured, pushing him harder into the wall and pressing their bodies together. "No one can stop me…"

"Maybe you should think twice about that."

Cloud pulled Sora's Shadow off of him, and Sora let out a sigh of relief, slumping to the ground. The air around him was easier to breathe. He wasn't pinned, his lungs weren't constricted, and his heart was—

"_I wasn't going to hurt him!_" his Shadow screamed.

The scream pierced the air, pierced _Sora,_ like an arrow to his heart or a blow to his stomach. He couldn't breathe again. Those five words had choked all the air from his lungs.

In that split-second following the scream he _felt_ what his Shadow felt. He _felt_ the fury and the _pain_ at the fact that Cloud would even suggest such a thing as hurting Sora. Hurting _him_. He _felt_ the embarrassment and the anger at the fact that such words had even slipped from his Shadow's tongue. Because those were words he was _not_ supposed to say _not_ supposed to admit to and—

And underneath it all, Sora felt something else that made his stomach churn. Because buried underneath all those emotions was a slight hint of… no. It was absurd. His Shadow—the boy who laughed at him and mocked him and beat him and hurt him—couldn't possibly be capable of _that_ emotion. Especially not towards _him._ It was… absurd! It was…

Painful.

Sora clutched his chest.

Cloud was frowning down at Sora's Shadow, eyes narrowed in confusion. "Then…" he began, slowly. "If you…"

He didn't finish the question, but Sora had a good feeling he knew what it was. "If you wouldn't hurt Sora, then… _what_?" What would a Shadow do if not hurt their host? Maybe Sora knew the answer to that question. He didn't want to though.

The sight of his Shadow bent over with his forehead touching the ground and his fists balled around the grass and _shaking—_it was too much. Too awful. Too painful. It made him want to retch. How could someone regret six words so much?

And if his Shadow really hadn't been intending on hurting him…

He didn't want to think about it.

And, thankfully, his Shadow vanished—disappeared from the world like he tended to do—so Sora didn't have to look at him anymore.

"I've never known a Shadow to…" Cloud began, sitting back down on his rock. Then he shook his head.

Sora didn't say anything. The less he dwelled on this, the better. If he didn't think about it, he couldn't admit that—no. He wouldn't think about it.

**X**

**aaaaaand back to Riku!**

Riku stopped his pacing at the distinct sound of a dark corridor opening. Just what he didn't need right now. Interruptions. He looked up to see who it was, and immediately scrunched his face in disgust. It was 37 and L.

"What are _they_ doing here?" he asked.

"I was actually wondering the same thing," L said, crossing her arms and turning up her nose. "We're, what, ten chapters too early? Were we even _supposed_ to show up for that?"

"Has Sora been to Disney Castle yet?" 37 asked. He looked as displeased to be here as L did.

"No," Riku replied.

"Then we shouldn't _be_ here!" L said.

"I agree with you on that one…" Riku muttered. "Any reason why you _are_ here?"

"Joseph said it was important," 37 answered, nodding at the boy.

Joseph shrugged. "I figured maybe if we started doing things we could get rar's attention?" he said, smiling sheepishly.

Riku groaned. "Joseph there are more effective ways to do that and _we aren't even at this part yet!_"

"So?" Joseph rolled his eyes. "What's the problem with getting it written sooner?"

"Rar was really looking forward to the Disney Castle sequence, though," Namine said, looking up from her drawing. "If we really want to get her attention then we should go tell Sora to get started with that."

"Have we lost contact with rar?" 37 asked, brow furrowed with suspicion.

"It's just a blip," Riku said, firmly. "She'll get back to us before the day is out. Maybe she's focusing on some notafic stuff or something. It wouldn't be the first time."

"But we've never _completely_ lost contact with her!" Joseph argued, pouting.

"Wait, if rar's gone…" L said, slowly, then let out a large sigh of relief. "Oh thank _god._ I was getting _sooo_ tired of that—"

"That was only 60% canon," 37 interrupted.

She shot him a glare. "Yeah, and it was painful as _hell_ not to mention the worst idea _ever_!"

"I kind of liked the idea…" he mumbled, not looking at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, until the part where you have to mourn the death of—"

"Yes yes," he said, waving his hand in the air to dismiss the subject. "I know. Though I'd rather not mourn the death of anyone…"

Her face softened. "Well, I suppose, with rar gone, we could always…" She cleared her throat, not looking directly at him. "Y'know…"

"Leave?" he finished.

"Or I could kill you now," Riku suggested. "Get it over with."

They both sent him a really dirty look.

"Riku, no," Namine said, grabbing him by the arm. "You don't need to kill her."

"Well it's going to happen before Dead Inside's over," he replied. "I don't see the problem in getting it done with now."

"I do," L said, crinkling her nose.

"Besides, what happens when rar comes back?" 37 asked. "How would she respond to find out you'd killed L?"

"She'd understand." Riku chuckled. "Better than she would you two running off."

37 glared. "Ah… she'd have to find us first," he said.

"Pff! You can't hide from her!"

"Lexaeus has managed."

Riku opened his mouth to argue, then closed it. 37 had a point there…

"Regardless!" Namine said. "You two should go. Doesn't matter where, so long as you're not here."

"She has a point…" 37 said.

"What a waste of time," L groaned.

And they were gone.

"That _really_ wasn't one of your best ideas, Joseph," Namine said, shooting a look at him. "It didn't take a lot of convincing to make them leave, but what if we hadn't been able to? What then?"

"I was _hoping_ to get rar's attention!" Joseph replied, a whine creeping into his voice.

"What for?" I asked, yawning.

"Rar!" Riku exclaimed, immediately scooping me up in a hug. "I was so worried!"

I stood there for a second, a little confused, before returning the hug. "I was… just… at the Desolation of Smaug premiere?" I said, slowly.

"Oh," Namine said, then added: "He assumed the worst."

Riku let go of me. "Well-"

"You were _just_ at a movie?" Joseph asked, face scrunched up in something between confusion and a pout. "But we _completely_ lost contact with you!"

"Well, between hanging with friends, it being midnight, and being completely engrossed in a movie for two and a half hours…" I shrugged. "I dunno. Movies are really distracting though…"

"But we _completely_ lost contact with you," Riku repeated. "_Completely._"

I shrugged again. "Heck if I know! …nothing bad happened while I was gone, right?"

Riku, Namine, and Joseph exchanged looks before they all shook their heads.

"No, nothing bad!" Joseph said.

I frowned, not sure if I believed it. "Maybe I should check on Sora…"


	201. Snatched

I have a feeling I'm slightly late and I am incredibly sorry my brother's birthday party was yesterday and I was really exhausted afterwards

* * *

><p><strong>Part 3<strong>

_The End Draws Near_

or

_Every Story Must End_

* * *

><p>"Strange monsters around here," Sora mused, banishing his Keyblade and sitting back down. Most of the monsters didn't come near the spot Sora and Cloud had settled down—right by the gates of the wall that surrounded a town and, further inside, a Castle. But a couple of the monsters—the larger and probably smarter ones—would sneak over occasionally to examine Cloud's bike. Sora figured they hadn't seen anything like it before.<p>

"It's not uncommon for a world to have monsters specific to it," Cloud answered, busy cleaning his sword. The monsters here weren't Heartless, but some sort of other creature that reminded Sora a little of trolls and, of course, bled. Sora's Keyblade magically cleaned itself, somehow, but Cloud wasn't so fortunate.

"Why aren't there any Heartless?" Sora asked, picking at the grass by his knees. "Do you know?"

"We're pretty far away from any other world we've been to…" Cloud replied, slowly.

"What does that have to do with it?" Sora laughed. "I thought there were Heartless in almost every world—and the worlds without Heartless are the ones full of light." He made a face. "And… this world doesn't seem full of light. It almost feels the exact opposite…"

The dusk around them lingered heavily, like it were a physical thing. The sun should've set a while ago, but it hadn't, it just continued to linger. Natural light wasn't the only clue, either. There was a feeling in Sora's stomach that just felt _dark_.

"It's because the Heartless have a…" Cloud paused, let out a long breath. He looked up from his sword, then back down at it, cleaning another spot as he thought. "A sort of… bubble of worlds they can be found in." The grimace on Cloud's face said he wasn't entirely satisfied with that explanation. He continued, anyway. "And the further out from the bubble you get, the less likely you are to find Heartless."

"Really?" Sora asked.

Cloud nodded, returning his attention to cleaning his blade. "Yeah," he grunted. "My homeworld's not far from here, and it doesn't get a lot of Heartless. I mean, there was that one time, but…" He shook his head. "Generally you'll find much more of the local monsters than Heartless."

"What's your homeworld like?" Sora asked, sitting up a little straighter. He hadn't heard much about Cloud's homeworld. Not that he'd told Cloud much about his…

Cloud looked up at him, seeming a little surprised, though he hid it well. He leaned back, looked around him. "Ah, a little like this world, actually," he said after a moment. "The scenery's a little similar. Much more mountains near Nibelheim though…"

Sora looked around him, too, processing what Cloud's world supposedly looked like based on this scenery. There was grass and green everywhere he looked, and a couple of mountains in the distance.

"But there weren't any Castles," Cloud said, after a moment. "Just a bunch of cities."

"You lived in a city!?" Sora gaped at him. He'd always wanted to see a proper city. The only one he'd been to so far was Agrabah, and between the Heartless and it being rundown, it didn't meet his expectations.

Cloud laughed. And then kept laughing. "No!" he said. "I lived in a little town in the mountains. But there were plenty of cities elsewhere. Like Midgar."

"Any chance we can go there some time?"

"You don't want to go to Midgar. Trust me."

Sora pouted a little. Of course he _wanted_ to go, especially if it was a _city_, but… "What about your homeworld?" he corrected, to cover it up. If Cloud said Midgar was bad, then Sora figured he shouldn't let him know he'd been excited about it. "Could we go there?"

Cloud smiled. "Maybe another time. I wouldn't want to go home with a wolf still on our trail."

Now Sora _really_ grimaced. "I thought we lost it…" he said, slowly, eyes narrowing. They hadn't seen it for the past day or so, and considering how far they'd traveled...

"Better safe than sorry," Cloud told him.

Sora sighed.

"Good point…"

"Besides, if you want to see a city, there is that one." Cloud gestured to the wall behind Sora. Or, rather, the town _behind_ the wall behind Sora.

Sora looked at the gates for a moment. As much as he wanted to see a proper city, he wasn't sure if now was a good time. What if the wolf showed up again? When all those people were around? Someone would get hurt.

"Actually… I was thinking we could explore?" Sora suggested. "I mean, cities are nice, but this place looks like something out of a fairytale!"

Cloud squinted up at the sky, shielding his eyes, though the sun was well west of where he was looking. "Maybe we better not," he said. "It's getting dark, and if we want to spend the night not on the ground, we better go find an inn. No telling if they'll close the gates at sundown, but chances are they will."

"Oh…" Sora sighed and picked at the grass some more. "I don't mind sleeping on the ground. And we've cleared out most of the monsters around here…"

Cloud looked at him, long and hard. "Well—"

Cloud didn't get a chance to finish. Sora looked up, his eyes widened in shock, and he summoned his Keyblade to block. The wolf's teeth closed around the blade, but it knocked Sora onto his back, and suddenly they were in a different world.

Sora blinked a few times, and shook his head. There were spots dancing on the edge of his vision. He tried to push the wolf off, but it was at least the same size as him, not to mentioned weighed a ton.

"Sora!"

A flash of light filled the area, and Sora shielded his eyes. He felt the weight of the wolf leave his chest, followed by energy flowing through his veins. Someone had Cured him—not that that made the spots quit dancing on his vision, nor did it prevent him from staggering when he got to his feet.

"Mickey!" he said, in surprise, when he saw who was standing there.

"Funny we keep meeting like this, huh?" Mickey asked, smiling a little. His Keyblade was drawn, though, and aimed at the wolf, light trailing from his empty hand.

"Y-yeah," Sora replied, falling into his battle stance. His arms were heavy, though, and he moved with weariness.

The wolf's lips were drawn back in a snarl, a growl rumbling in its throat, looking ready to leap for Mickey. But there was an uncertainty in its growl, and after a moment its posture relaxed, like it was second guessing attacking him. Mickey's eyes just narrowed.

"And against the same enemy, too," he said.

Sora turned to him in surprise. "Wha-?" But then he looked back at the wolf. Like he'd noticed a while ago… it did have the same red fire, and a chain still around its neck, not to mention its hind legs looked like they had once been bound together.

His nightmare—the monster of his childhood—had had all these features. Could this wolf really be that same nightmare? Or, the Heartless he and Mickey fought in Beast's Castle, the Heartless that had taken said nightmare's shape? The similarities were uncanny, and would be _scary_ if it wasn't the same creature.

"But how…" he murmured.

It was unfortunate his head was so foggy right now, otherwise maybe he'd be able to come up with an answer.

The wolf paced back and forth, looking between the two of them. It would tense as it looked at Sora …only to uncertainly glance at Mickey again and shuffle its feet nervously. After a moment it shook its head and grumbled something.

"Orders?" Mickey asked, seeming surprised. "Whose orders?"

Sora was even more surprised. "You can… understand… it?" he asked. His words slurred a little, he noticed, and his knees were starting to feel like jelly.

Mickey threw a glance at him. "You can't?"

Sora shook his head.

The wolf snorted, rolled its head as if rolling its eyes. It didn't seem to say anything more, but given Mickey's reaction, it had.

"What'd it… say?" Sora asked.

"It said…" Mickey frowned, thinking about it. "You could if you… tried?" He gave Sora a worried look, then his eyes widened a little in shock, but he didn't say anything and quickly turned back to the wolf.

The wolf let out a sharp bark, taking a step forward, its body tense. It was growling again, much louder and more menacing this time.

"Well, I didn't say anything about your master!" Mickey told it, confused and sounding slightly apologetic.

Sora wasn't sure how much longer his legs were going to hold him up. The spots in his vision were getting worse, too—he was probably going to pass out soon, given how lightheaded he felt.

"Maybe- maybe we should go," he said. Or he tried to say it. Whether the words left his mouth like he wanted them to or not was another story. "I'm not sure if… if we ca- can… it's tougher than it… looks."

"Oh, c'mon, we've fought it before!"

"Yeah, but—"

And then his vision went black and his legs gave way.

**_xXx_**

"Sora…?" Mickey sent a concerned glance at the collapsed boy, before the sound of movement reached his ears. He looked up to see the wolf bounding towards Sora, and quickly threw a blast of light at it to keep it back.

He dove between the wolf and Sora as it recovered, prepping his blade. The wolf shook its head, collecting itself. It straightened, still snarling, but suddenly took a step backwards and vanished.

Mickey stood there a moment, worried, but it wasn't long before he was certain that the wolf had actually left and hadn't just gone invisible or something. A creature that dark and that magical was easy to sense, and its absence was more than noticeable.

Since it was safe, Mickey went over and checked on Sora. He didn't _appear_ to be injured, but he was definitely out cold, and Mickey figured better safe than sorry, so he cast another Cure.

Sora didn't stir.

Mickey banished his blade and let out a sigh.

"Well, now what do I do with ya?" he mused, plopping down on the ground next to Sora. Obviously, he couldn't just leave the boy here, but moving Sora while he was unconscious wasn't going to be easy. Well, he could probably move Sora just fine, but the fact that he was unconscious meant that they needed to go somewhere with little or no Heartless.

"And what'cha really need is a good night's rest," Mickey said. "In a decent bed, and maybe with a good meal afterwards, and- and…"

And preferably on a world with no Heartless.

Mickey got to his feet and pulled his starshard out of his pocket. There was only one place he could think of that matched all those requirements.


	202. Deal with the Devil

I've said it a million times but I don't think I ever said it here. Rewatching House of Mouse was the best idea I ever made. (And I have now officially said that on every site I use for fic-related stuff.)

* * *

><p>They arrived in the Castle Gardens. <em>His<em> Castle Gardens. Mickey took in a deep breath in. It was nice to be home. He shifted and set Sora down on the ground, seeing as he couldn't support the boy's weight for much longer.

"Yer Majesty!" Goofy called.

Mickey grinned and looked up, happy, but not exactly surprised, to see Goofy and Donald rushing to meet him.

"Heya Goofy, heya Donald!" he said, as they approached.

Goofy was grinning, but Donald attempted to remain slightly formal.

"It's nice to see you, Your Maj—"

"Mickey!"

Mickey couldn't have smiled any wider.

"Minnie!" he called.

He resisted the urge to rush to her, seeing as he probably shouldn't leave Sora, but he couldn't stop himself from taking a few steps in her direction. Minnie giggled a little and grabbed his hands, smiling widely. After a second she glanced in Sora's direction, eyes narrowing with worry. Mickey cast a glance in Sora's direction, too. Both Goofy and Donald were looking him over, trying to determine if he was okay.

Minnie turned back to Mickey. "You weren't supposed to be back for…" she began.

"I know, I know." He waved her statement off. "But I thought that, uh, Sora here—" he nodded at the boy "—could use a good night's rest in an… actual bed and- and I wasn't sure where else to go…" He trailed off, scratching his ears and shuffling from foot to foot.

"So… you brought him here," Minnie finished.

"Yeah."

She giggled.

"That's, uh, not a problem, is it?" he asked. "I mean, we've got plenty of spare rooms, uh, don't we?"

"Of course!" Minnie assured him. "Donald, Goofy," she turned to them, "do you think you can take Sora to a room?"

Goofy stood up straight and saluted. "Yes yer majesty," he said.

"You got it!" Donald was already bending over to pick Sora up. He grabbed Sora by the arms and lifted him off the ground. Goofy bent down to get Sora's feet. Of course, because of their height difference, Goofy was nearly bent double to keep Sora level.

"Hey, Donald, maybe I should—"

"Shh! We have orders."

Mickey chuckled, and Minnie laughed and shook her head.

"So, what happened to Sora?" Minnie asked, as they watched Donald and Goofy drag him off.

"Not sure," Mickey admitted. "He sorta just landed in front of me and- and there was this wolf we were fighting and- and he just… collapsed." Mickey let out a long sigh, scratching his ears. "Maybe I should go check on him—"

"No," Minnie told him, gently. "You could use some rest, too. I'll check on him."

"Ya sure—"

"Rest, Mickey," Minnie repeated, and headed off.

**_xXx_**

With quite a bit of effort (it was a surprise they didn't wake Sora up, considering how many times they nearly dropped him), Donald and Goofy finally got Sora onto the bed of one of the guest rooms. Donald let out a long breath and dusted his hands off.

"There," he said, turning to leave.

"Now just wait a second, Donald," Goofy said, catching him before he'd left the room. "He can't sleep with his shoes on! And what if he needs an extra blanket?"

Donald frowned at Goofy for a long moment, but it was clear that Goofy wasn't going to change his mind any time soon. Donald groaned.

"I'll go get a blanket," he muttered, heading out.

"Grab an extra pillow while you're at it, could you?" Goofy called after him.

**_xXx_**

"What now?" Sora's Shadow spat, turning away from the wolf as it approached him. He flicked his chains at the nearby tree. They hit it, and bounced off, dropping to the ground before he could pull them back. "Don't tell me you still don't know where Sora is."

There was a pause.

'…I don't know where he is.'

Sora's Shadow turned, in rage, and lashed his chains at the wolf. "Then why'd you come to me!?" he roared.

The wolf jumped out of the way, then crouched down, ready to attack. It growled at him for a moment, before shifting into a more relaxed position.

'I know who he's with,' it said. It snarled a little, but held its head high with dignity.

"How does _that_ help?" Sora's Shadow scrunched up his face. "We knew he was with Cloud, but we couldn't track—"

'He's with _Jara ni Raerí._'

Sora's Shadow paused, eyes going wide. "The _Mouse?_" he whispered.

The wolf lowered its head in a form of a nod.

"How easy is he to track?"

'Easy.'

There seemed to be a smirk on the wolf's face. It held itself confidently.

Sora's Shadow relaxed, working his chains into a twirl. That was good. That was very good.

'_But_ I'd prefer not to fight him,' the wolf said, a small growl at the back of its throat.

"Of course." Sora's Shadow smirked. "Can you take me to—"

"Hey! You!"

He paused, turning to see who was addressing him. At least, he _assumed_ they were addressing him. There was no one else in this area—he even took a second to make sure of it. The two little demon looking things must be addressing him. They couldn't be addressing anyone else.

He frowned as he looked them over. They both came up to maybe his knees, and didn't look too bright. One of them was fat and red, the other skinny and blue. And… did he recognize them?

"You sure this is the guy we're looking for?" the red one whispered, leaning close to the blue one.

"I think so," the blue one replied, smiling nervously. "He matches the description pretty well."

"Oh. Well," the red one took a step forward, and straightened to make himself look important. "Lord Hades wishes to speak with you."

Sora's Shadow raised his eyebrows. "Hades?"

"Uh." The red one blinked his eyes a few times, obviously taken aback by the question. "Yes."

Sora's Shadow let out a breath. "Right now?"

The blue one nodded vigorously. "Yes, right now."

Sora's Shadow sent a look at his wolf. It only shook its head and ruffled its fur, clearly disinterested.

'You're the one who made a deal with him, Master,' it told him. 'Don't look to me for guidance.'

"I wasn't asking for your help," he replied, sneering and banishing his chains.

"Uhh…" the blue demon began, clearly confused.

"You talkin to us?" the red one asked.

Sora's Shadow rolled his eyes. "No," he said. "I'm talking to the wolf. Duh."

"You understand it?" the red one asked, just as the blue one asked: "It understands you?"

He stood there for a long moment. He could hear the wolf chuckling.

"Hades wants to see me?" he said, finally.

"Oh yeah!"

"Yeah he does!"

"Then let's go."

**_xXx_**

"Ah, there he is!" Hades looked up from what he was doing, which was examining a model of some sort. He glared at his minions. "What took you so long?"

"It wasn't our fault, Lord Hades," the blue one stuttered, shrinking back a little.

"I guess it was mine?" Sora's Shadow offered, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah, doesn't matter," Hades said with a wave of his hand. He turned his attention to Sora's Shadow, and then his gaze fell downwards and slightly to the left. "And who's this?" he asked, frowning.

"Uh." Sora's Shadow looked down and saw his wolf sitting there. He shot a glare down at it. He hadn't _told_ it to follow him, though he hadn't told it to stay behind either. Usually it didn't follow him unless given a direct order, though. Of course, this _would_ be the one time it decided to do otherwise.

"That's my, uh, pet," he stammered, looking up at Hades. "My pet wolf."

It turned to him, growling fiercely. 'I am _not_ your pet!'

"Oh quiet you."

"Your pet, eh?" Hades smiled a little, reaching out to it. "How ni—yow!" The wolf snapped at him, and he pulled his hand back with disgust.

"Yeah, I- I wouldn't uh," Sora's Shadow coughed, trying to stifle his laughter. "He's not exactly… tame."

"No kidding." Hades didn't sound too bothered, just shook his hand and headed back to his display.

"What's that?" Sora's Shadow asked, joining him. It looked like some sort of castle—large and very white, surrounded by a town. The town didn't have as much detail put into it as the castle did, though.

"Ah… Disney Castle," Hades said. "It's, uh, a nice little world. Quaint. Awfully full of light…" He grimaced in disgust. "Might've made a nice summer home, I suppose. Not sure if it's worth the effort, though… I'd have to get it away from the Mouse first." He stroked his chin, thoughtfully.

"…Mouse," Sora's Shadow repeated, slowly. His eyes widened and he leaned over the display, studying it closely, like it held the answer to his unasked question. After a moment he turned to his wolf. "Y'think he took him home?"

'I suppose he could have,' the wolf replied.

He glared.

'Oh! You want me to _check._' The wolf smirked and slowly got up and stretched. 'I see, I see. You could've just asked, though…' It shook its head, turned around, and sauntered off, vanishing after two steps.

"Uh… what's going on here?" Hades asked, eyes narrowed as he looked between Sora's Shadow and the space the wolf had just occupied.

"Oh, nothing terribly important," Sora's Shadow replied, trying to sound nonchalant. His heart was racing, though. "Why'd you want me here?"

"Just ran into Maleficent, that's all," Hades explained, flicking dust off of his model. "Apparently she's in real estate? She mentioned needing a new HQ, or, something." He paused, slowly looked up at Sora's Shadow. "I… didn't happen to see Sora with her," he said, dragging his words out.

"He- my wolf got him away from her," Sora's Shadow explained.

"So you _don't_ need my help, then?"

"No. Well." Sora's Shadow frowned, considering. Maybe he didn't need Hades's help, now. But… better safe than sorry, given what Maleficent had done to him last time they'd… talked. Besides, he didn't exactly _want_ to piss off the Lord of the Dead. That had bad idea written all over it.

"We still need to kill Maleficent, don't we?" he said, trying to direct the conversation in a different direction.

Hades nodded. "Yeah, we do. But you were going to help me out with Jerk-ules, weren't you? Didn't you, I don't know, say you needed Sora for that?"

"We- we agreed Maleficent was the larger threat, though," Sora's Shadow said. "And that we should get rid of her first. So, right now, Sora's whereabouts are a minor de—"

'He's in Disney Castle,' the wolf said, reappearing.

Sora's Shadow turned to it, grabbing it by the ears and looking it in the eye. His heart leapt in his chest. His lungs felt tight. "He is?!" he asked, his voice coming out in something of an excited squeak.

The wolf shook him off.

'Yes.'

Sora's Shadow dropped to his knees, remaining eyelevel with it.

"Did you see him?"

'No.'

"Then how do you know he's there?!"

'_Ja- …_the… Mouse said so himself,' the wolf answered. 'Plus, I smelled him.'

"Okay." He supposed that was a good enough answer. "What are the chances of him staying there for long?"

'After what I did to him? Probably a few days.'

Something in his chest constricted.

"Did you hurt him!?"

'Not… drastically,' the wolf replied, slowly. Its eyes judged him, but he took no note.

"I- mm- well-" he stammered, taking a deep breath in, trying to repress the anger that had reared up within him. He bit his lip, opened his mouth, closed it. "That's- that's fine," he said, finally, voice tight. "Fine. That means I can get to him before he leaves. So it's fine. It's great."

"What's this all about, huh?" Hades asked. He'd moved so he was standing next to the wolf, and bent over so he could look Sora's Shadow in the face. "I hope you realize I can't understand this mutt of yours."

The wolf snarled. 'I am _not_ a mutt!'

"Sora's in Disney Castle," Sora's Shadow said, slumping onto the ground, letting out a long sigh of relief. "I know where he is."

"And… Why is this so important?"

"Because I haven't—" He began, then caught himself. No. He didn't want to tell Hades that. Hades didn't know it'd been exactly a month since he'd last seen Sora, nor did Hades need to know that it physically pained him to have been away from Sora this long.

"It's not-" he began, getting to his feet. He reconsidered his words, then continued. "Sorry. It's just… a good plan."

"Uh-huh."

Hades didn't sound too convinced.

"Yeah." Sora's Shadow nodded. "I just thought of a great plan to get rid of Maleficent."

"….I'm listening"


	203. Somewhere Safe

Ayyy guess what I finally got around to doing? I went through Dead Inside and added references (with chapter numbers!) to ASAS and Can't Escape when they were needed. Now you won't have to guess at what I'm referring to when you read back through this (or if you're catching up)

I also split Dead Inside into three "parts" every hundred chapters, which is more of a cosmetic change than something that actually affects the story, but I thought I'd let you know. (ch1, ch3, ch104 and ch201 are where each new part starts. Yes that adds up to four but Part 0 is the interlude and doesn't count. Exactly.)

* * *

><p>"Hi Cloud!"<p>

Cloud looked up, pushing himself off from the wall. It was Kairi who'd called him. Well, he figured it was Kairi. He'd never met the girl before, but Sora'd talked about her, and since he could see Tifa in the distance, he had a good feeling this was Kairi. Which was good. He'd been waiting out here—outside Aerith's house—for them to arrive.

Cloud opened his mouth to speak, and properly introduce himself, but Kairi never gave him a chance.

"Where's Sora?" she asked.

Cloud grimaced. "I—"

"He's inside, huh?" Kairi said, and before he could stop her, she ran inside.

"Kairi!" Cloud called, but it was definitely too late. He let out a long breath.

"He's not here, is he?" Tifa asked, coming up behind him.

Cloud shook his head.

"Where is he?"

"Lost him."

Tifa put her hands on her hips. "And how'd you manage that?"

Cloud frowned. "Are you saying it's my fault?"

"No. Just curious."

Cloud sighed, looked away from Tifa. "There was this… wolf following us," he explained.

"A wolf?"

He nodded. "It was pretty intent on taking Sora with it."

"Are you telling me you couldn't stop a little _wolf?_" Tifa asked, raising her eyebrows.

"It wasn't an ordinary wolf!" Cloud replied. "Trust me, if it had been, we wouldn't have had a problem."

"So, what, it was a magical wolf?"

"Something," Cloud said. "My attacks couldn't faze it. The most I could've done is distract it long enough for Sora to get away, and even then, it was _tracking_ him. It would've gotten him whether I was there or not."

"You didn't think of coming here right away?" Tifa asked. "I mean, I know keeping Sora inside and hiding isn't the _best_ idea, but—"

Cloud just unwrapped the bandages from his arm in response. Tifa stopped, eyes widening at the sight of his wound. It'd been a week since the wolf had bitten him, but his arm was still a little green from the bruises, and the infected bite didn't look much better.

"You should have Aerith look at that," Tifa said.

"I will." Cloud wrapped the bandage around his arm again. "But when it could do this kind of damage, neither me nor Sora were too keen on leading it here. Didn't want it hurting anyone."

"…right."

"That sounds like Sora," Kairi said, poking her head out the door. "Aerith told me he wasn't here," she added. "Sorry I got excited—I should've let you explain."

"No, don't apologize for being excited," Tifa told her.

Kairi just shrugged, coming to stand by them. "And don't worry, Cloud. I'm not mad at you. I get why Sora didn't come." She sighed. "He never has liked letting people get hurt because of him…" She chuckled, dryly, with a shrug of her shoulders. "To be honest, I think that's one of the reasons why he hasn't come home yet…"

"I wouldn't be surprised," Tifa said. "Cloud's the same way."

"There's never a reason for people to get caught up in your battles," Cloud countered.

"There's always a reason," Tifa muttered.

Cloud ignored her.

"Do you think Sora's okay?" Kairi asked, a little suddenly. Her voice trembled a little with worry. "I mean, if that wolf dragged him off—did it drag him off?"

"It did," Cloud answered, with a sigh. "And I have no idea if he's okay."

"Why didn't you follow him?" Tifa demanded. She took a step forward, hands on her hips again, eyes narrowed.

"Not sure where they went," Cloud replied, his voice low. "How am I supposed to track a wolf off world? And I figured I'd meet you here—"

"You could've called! We'd have understood!"

"Tifa, it's alright," Kairi interjected.

"But now none of us know where Sora is!" Tifa snapped, rounding on her. "He's been missing for how long now? A month? If he's gone missing _again—_"

"Tifa," Kairi tried again.

"Where'd you find him, anyway?" Tifa asked, looking at Cloud.

Cloud shrugged. "Just… a world. Found him unconscious. He said he'd just escaped Maleficent—"

"Oh _great,_" Tifa groaned, raking a hand through her hair. "How do we know that wolf wasn't working for her? It probably took him back to her! And if he's with Maleficent—"

"I don't think it's working for Maleficent."

"How do you know?"

Cloud paused. "I just- I don't _think_ it is!"

"But are you _sure?_" Tifa countered.

"I-" Cloud stopped. Sighed. "…no."

"_Exactly_!" Tifa said. "And even if it's not working for her, it could be working for someone else. Someone _worse._"

"What'd it look like?" Kairi interrupted.

"Magical," Cloud said. But that probably wasn't a good enough description… "Black. But with red—"

"—fire," Kairi finished. "I know that wolf."

Tifa turned to her, clearly confused. "You _do?_"

"Yeah," Kairi nodded. "Met it in Agrabah. Briefly. Right after we lost Sora." She swallowed, her face a little tight. Was she hiding something? Leaving something out, perhaps. "I think… I think it's master is…" She broke off, frowning. "I… I don't think he'd hurt Sora. Not that I… know why he'd _want_ Sora…"

"Are you sure he wouldn't hurt Sora?" Tifa asked, slowly.

Kairi shook her head. "Not 100 percent, no. But… He seemed pretty nice."

"You _met_ the wolf's master?"

"Yeah."

"_When?_"

"When…" Kairi coughed. "When I ran off. Back in Agrabah. A month ago." She shuffled, nervously, rubbing her arm. "I mean, we didn't talk for very long…"

Tifa sighed and rubbed her head.

"We'll have to trust Sora's okay," Cloud said. "There's nothing else we can do. It's near impossible to track someone when there is no trail and all you're doing is hopping from world to world in hopes of running into them." Cloud looked Tifa right in the eye. "And you know that."

"I do…" Tifa admitted.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Kairi said, slowly. "He's survived this long. We can all… sleep here and catch our breaths and then maybe figure out if there's a way we can find a trail to follow. Yeah?"

"Sounds good," Tifa agreed, smiling fondly at the girl.

"Aerith made sandwiches, by the way," Kairi added. "I was supposed to come out and tell you, actually."

"Then let's go eat," Cloud said. Kairi grinned and headed back inside.

"You should have Aerith look at your arm," Tifa hissed, as they headed inside, too.

"I know. I haven't forgotten."

**_xXx_**

Sora took a deep breath, allowing himself time to process his surroundings before he moved. He was getting a little tired of waking up in a different world… At least he was in a bed this time. A really _comfortable _bed, too. The one Maleficent had given him hadn't been nearly this soft.

He could feel sunlight on his eyelids, and there wasn't a single trace of darkness in the air. That was a first…

So… where was he?

"Hey, Minnie, it looks like he's waking up!"

He didn't recognize that voice, but it sounded friendly.

"Oh, good."

Another voice. This one was kind, too, though a lot less peppy.

Sora reached up to rub his face. Thankfully his head didn't hurt too much. It'd hurt last time—when he'd woken up after being dragged away from Neverland. He slowly sat up, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Are you feeling any better?" the first voice asked. He looked up to see who it belonged to, and was surprise to see a… duck. She smiled reassuringly at him, but there was worry in her eyes. The other person in the room—and presumably the owner of the second voice—was a mouse.

They must've been friends of Mickey's.

"Uhm," Sora said, slowly. "Yeah. I'm feeling okay."

Okay was relative, but he did feel like he'd gotten a good night's sleep, at least.

He wiggled his toes, realizing now that he wasn't wearing his shoes. He sat up a little straighter, leaning over the edge of the bed to look for them. He found them sitting at the end of the bed. Clearly someone had removed them for him, not that he was surprised with how nice the bed was. He wouldn't have wanted his shoes dirtying it, either.

"Um." He cleared his throat. "Where am I?"

The mouse—Minnie, was her name?—smiled. "Disney Castle," she said.

Sora let out a long breath, processing that. Being in a castle would explain the nice bed. And why Minnie and… her friend were wearing such fancy clothing.

He swallowed, preparing to ask the inevitable. "…your castle?"

"Well, duh, silly," the duck laughed. "She is the Queen, after all."

Minnie shot her a look, but didn't say anything. Sora took a sharp breath in. Queen. He was sitting before royalty. And… if she knew Mickey…

Did that make him…?

"Uh," Sora cleared his throat again. "Do you- do you know Mickey?" His voice squeaked a little as he said it.

Minnie—the Queen—chuckled at this question. "Yes. He's the king."

"Ohh…." Sora rubbed his head. He wasn't surprised, but it was still… news. He'd spent all that time with Mickey, and he hadn't even _known._ And on top of that, Mickey—a king who probably had better things to do with his time—had saved him twice now.

He'd been saved twice by a _king._

A king.

Twice.

"He didn't tell you, did he?" Minnie—Queen Minnie—asked, chuckling.

Sora just shook his head.

"Why didn't he mention he was king?" the duck wondered, grimacing a little.

"Now Daisy, we've been over this," Queen Minnie said calmly, though tiredly. "If Mickey doesn't want to mention he's a king, he doesn't have to mention he's a king."

The duck—Daisy—opened her mouth to protest, but then her face lit up, like she'd realized something. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "That's right—how silly of us! We never introduced ourselves. This is Queen Minnie," she gestured at Minnie, "and I'm Daisy."

"_Lady_ Daisy," Queen Minnie corrected, gently

"What's it matter?" Daisy laughed, shrugging. "It's not like there's any glamor in being a lady—I have the exact same status with or without that title. And if Mickey doesn't have to call himself a king, I don't have to call myself a lady."

Queen Minnie sighed, but was smiling.

"Well, Sora," she said. "If you think you're feeling well enough, why not come downstairs? I'm sure Mickey would be glad to know you're okay."

Sora nodded. "Alright," he said, shifting out from under the covers and grabbing his shoes. He wouldn't mind seeing Mickey—_King_ Mickey, he corrected, though it felt weird. Besides, he couldn't think of a logical reason to refuse a request from a Queen, especially not when he was feeling just fine.

"Mm… it's nearing dinnertime," Daisy mused. "Does the cook know we have a guest?"

"I think so," Queen Minnie replied.

"I better go check," Daisy said, heading for the door.

"Alright." Queen Minnie headed for the door, too. "Sora? Are you coming?"

"Yeah!"


	204. Reconnect

I don't think I have news today OH EXCEPT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT I'VE ALMOST FINISHED WRITING THIS SEQUENCE I'M ALMOST AT ENDGAME [EXCITED SCREAMING] I'M ACTUALLY HONESTLY CLOSE TO FINISHING DEAD INSIDE THIS ISN'T A VAGUE "OH YEAH JUST A FEW MORE SEQUENCES" IT'S A DEFINITE I AM WRITING ENDGAME AHHHHHHHHHHH

anyway

* * *

><p>Disney Castle wasn't exactly a pleasant place—not to him, anyway. Sora's Shadow ran his hand over the walls, sliding his fingers over the separations between the stones. Logically, this world was too full of light—too protected against darkness—for him to be able to set foot in it. He could only be here because Sora was here.<p>

Sora was here.

Sora's Shadow took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Sora's essence wasn't strong in the air, but it was present.

And just like in Neverland, the world seemed to solidify around him, like everything was only real now that he and Sora were on the same world. Like everything in the universe had been set right. Like he had finally regained his balance.

'Stop being so poetic,' the wolf chuckled, nipping at his fingertips.

He turned to it, eyes going wide.

"You can't be here!" he hissed. "They can see you!"

'So?'

"They can't see me, but they can still see you! They'll know I'm here—"

It rolled its eyes. 'No they won't…'

"Just- just go!"

'Master, really—'

"I said go!"

It bit his hand, harder this time, but obeyed.

Sora's Shadow gathered his composure and headed down the halls, following the call of Sora's presence beating in his mind. It was faint—like Sora was sleeping—but still clear as day. It was refreshing, actually. He'd missed this feeling.

He wanted so badly to take off at a run, race to Sora, but he made himself walk. For this to work, Sora couldn't know he was here. At least, it was _better_ if Sora didn't know he was here. If Sora thought there was any danger—if Sora thought _he_ was going to cause danger—then Sora would leave. He couldn't have Sora leave. The plan hadn't even been set in motion, and he needed Sora _here_ for it to work.

If Sora left, he'd be in for a _world_ of trouble.

And if Sora left, what were the chances of finding him again?

But it didn't matter. Sora wouldn't find out he was here. Nothing would go wrong.

He couldn't afford to let anything go wrong.

Sora's Shadow let out a long breath, turning down another hallway. He stopped for a second in surprise. There was someone else in this hall.A soldier, though he was some form of animal, just like everyone else in this castle.

Sora's Shadow shifted closer to the wall, giving the soldier a wide berth. Chances were he couldn't see him, but better safe than sorry. If _anyone_ knew he was here, it could go badly.

It seemed to take agesfor them to pass each other. The soldier didn't walk quickly, though he walked with purpose, and Sora's Shadow didn't want to rush, wary of attracting attention. But, finally, the soldier was behind him. He hadn't been—

The soldier's footsteps stopped. He stopped, too, looking warily at the soldier, heart pounding in his chest. The soldier was looking straight at him. Sora's Shadow quickly pressed himself against the shadows of the wall, not that there were many, hiding as best as he could. Thankfully, the soldier didn't follow his movement, and remained focused on where he'd been previously standing.

"Is, uh, someone there?" the soldier called.

Sora's Shadow held his breath.

"Hello?"

He was smarter than that. He wasn't going to say anything.

"Donald, you aren't playing tricks on me again, are you?"

He didn't know who Donald was, and was slightly curious now, but still, he said nothing.

"Hmm." The soldier relaxed, scratching his head. "I guess there's no one there." He hesitated a moment, but slowly turned back around and continue walking.

Sora's Shadow let out the breath he was holding, clutching at the wall to support himself. That had been terribly nerve wracking. He didn't like how shaky he felt. Oh well. Sora wasn't far away now.

He only had another hallway and flight of stairs to take, and suddenly he was standing outside the room Sora was in.

He stopped in front of it, taking deep breaths, trying to repress the urge to throw the door open. He wanted to see Sora. He wanted to look Sora in the eye ask _did you miss me as much as I missed you_?

But he couldn't. He couldn't walk into the room. Sora would see he _definitely_ couldn't say 'd sooner die than let _those _words leave his lips.

Despite himself, he pressed his face up against the door, listening. He could hear voices. Two girls. Sora. He'd missed Sora's voice... He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, savoring the sound. The familiar rise and fall. The slight squeak of when he was flustered.

_Control yourself,_ Sora's Shadow thought, slowly, and opened his eyes.

He needed to move, or he wouldn't be able to resist the urge to open that door any longer.

But he couldn't bear the thought of going to a different part of the Castle. He wanted to be near Sora.

He took three steps backwards, paused, took another breath to steady himself. Slowly, he moved to the wall by Sora's door, leaning against it, taking yet another breath. The world around him seemed to be spinning. Something was beating in his chest, in his mind.

_Sora's_ thoughts.

_Sora's_ emotions.

Their connection was restoring.

He sunk to the ground, resting his head against the wall, closing his eyes. Sora was thinking such stupid and useless things—no surprise—but the fact that he could _hear_ Sora's thoughts was wonderful.

The door opened suddenly. Sora's Shadow sat up straight, looking to see who it was. Good, not Sora. One of the residents of this Castle. Still…

He quickly moved to hide himself behind a nearby statue. It was a good thing, too. Another of the world's denizens walked out, followed shortly by Sora. Normally, seeing Sora—especially under these circumstances—would be a good thing. A relief. But the moment his eyes fell on Sora, his heart stopped.

Sora looked tired. Weary. His face was smiling, but the way he carried himself was as if he were exhausted. And worse still—Sora's Shadow hadn't seen him properly for a month now. Hadn't seen him properly since Beast's Castle, after Sora's last run-in with the Mouse. He'd never seen the damage he'd done to Sora's face.

The scar was painfully obvious. It made him cringe to look at. _He'd_ done that. That was a scar that _he'd_ given. The mere sight of it made his stomach twist and he hated it. He'd _screwed up_ that night and here was just a reminder. A reminder of how awful he was, and how awful he was at his job.

The pain in his stomach only made matters worse. Being what he was, he should _relish_ Sora's pain, not feel _sick_ because of it.

He should get out of here, before the sickness made him do anything rash.

But Sora staggered, suddenly, clutching his chest. The girl with him—Queen Minnie, her name was, according to Sora—sent a worried look at him. She said something, but Sora's Shadow didn't hear it. His pulse pounded in his ears, perfectly in sync with the beat of Sora's heart.

Sora had heard his thoughts, and Sora was _shocked._

Sora was _worried_.

Sora was—

—looking right at him.

He quickly ducked behind the statue, praying to whoever might listen that Sora hadn't actually seen him. That Sora would discredit it. And more than anything he hoped Sora wouldn't _investigate._

He shut his thoughts out from Sora, which was painful to do, seeing as they'd just reconnected. But if Sora couldn't hear him, then Sora wouldn't find him.

"Are you okay, Sora?" Queen Minnie asked.

There was a long pause.

"I- I'm fine," Sora stuttered, finally.

"If you're sure…"

Then their footsteps continued.

And they were gone.

**_xXx_**

"Have either of you seen Vexen recently?"

Namine glanced up at Alpha. He was standing behind the couch opposite them, looking a little miffed.

"Uh… no," she answered.

Riku shook his head, then laughed. "What? Worried about him or something?"

"Not exact—" Alpha broke off, then sighed. "When was the last time you saw him?"

"Ah-" Riku made a face. "Oh."

"We saw him—" Namine began, but paused, pursing her lips. When had they seen him last? It wasn't _that_ long ago. …was it? "Well, there was- uhm."

"It was… just the other… day?" Riku finished, but he didn't sound too sure about it.

"So it's definitely been more than a day since either of you saw him?" Alpha asked, sternly.

They nodded.

"Right…"

"Why's it such a big problem?" Riku laughed. "I mean, are you _really _worried about him? He can take care of himself, I'm sure."

"I suppose that's true…" Alpha admitted.

"Do you… uh, think he went back to the other universe?" Namine said, with a shrug. If Vexen had gone anywhere, she couldn't think of another place that could be more likely.

"Well good riddance if he did!" Riku said, immediately. "In fact, I _hope_ he did!"

Namine turned to him, appalled, though not entirely surprised. "Riku! That's a little rude!"

"And?"

She stared at him a moment longer, then shook her head. She couldn't think of any polite way to tell him why he should be a little kinder—and she couldn't entirely tell him he should care about more Vexen—so she would just say nothing.

Alpha let out a long breath. "…part of me wants to say he'd have told someone if he'd left for the other universe," he said. "But then again… maybe not…"

"Well if he didn't tell any of us…" Riku trailed off, shrugged. "Who would he tell?"

"Joseph," Namine said, without hesitation. She stared at Riku. "Are you _really _self-obsessed enough to think that everyone in this castle needs to check in with _you_ before doing anything?"

The smirk immediately fell off Riku's face.

"Well… everyone sort of just… _has_," he said. "Whether- whether I wanted them to or not. I mean I guess I shouldn't have expected Vexen to uh- to tell me anything." He cleared his throat.

"Well considering you seem to want him gone so badly…" Namine rolled her eyes.

"Okay, yeah." Riku swallowed. "But- but it'd be like him to merely tell Alpha out of _courtesy—_"

"I don't see why," Alpha interrupted. "I mean, it's never like he's been of much… He's never been… entirely _helpful _around here. If he left it wouldn't entirely be… _detrimental _to any of our plans. We don't even _have _plans!"

"Then why would he bother telling _anyone _that he left?" Riku asked.

"I never said he _did_ tell anyone," Namine said. "I said _if _he did, he would've told Joseph. Because, if you haven't noticed, he and Joseph get along quite well. Also… Joseph would've thrown a fit if Vexen'd left and hadn't told him, like he did when Sora left."

Riku chuckled. "Yeah, there is that…"

"Well, 29 took Joseph and Toby to get ice cream," Alpha said. "So we'll have to wait until they get back to ask Joseph anything."

"You could always ask other people," Namine suggested.

"You aren't the first people I've asked."

"Then check the security cameras," Namine said.

Alpha rolled his eyes. "Oh, I'd love to, but I don't think I'd be able to pick him out from the _twenty other Vexens in this Castle._"

"Ah- good… good point." Namine swallowed.

"Do you _honestly _care if he's gone or not?" Riku asked, still chuckling. "I mean he probably got sick of us and went back home. It's not like he's of any use here, anyway, and I don't remember any of us being particularly nice to him."

Namine glared at him. She wasn't _surprised _Riku was acting like this, but it was still a little frustrating. _She'd _never minded Vexen.

Alpha made a face. "It's less I'm worried that he left us and more I'm worried that—"

A dark corridor, opened, then, not five feet from Alpha. It closed almost immediately, and Axel stood there, looking a little smug.

"So Vexen got himself kidnapped," he said.

Alpha groaned. "That. I was worried about that."

"How can we trust him, though?" Riku demanded. He was on his feet, hands sparking with energy. Namine groaned internally. She hoped Riku wasn't stupid enough to start a fight, but went over the basics of spell casting in her head again, just in case.

"Y'think I'd _lie _about something like this?" Axel scoffed.

"You do have a track record for lying," Alpha said.

"And betrayal," Riku added.

"Just pull up the security cameras for the World that Never Was!" Axel said. "That'll prove I'm not lying! Vexen's either the computer room or one of the holding cells. I just talked to him, but he could've been moved." He waved his and a little, as if dismissing his uncertainty.

"Mmm…" Riku's eyes narrowed.

"I… don't think he's lying," Namine said, quickly.

Axel grinned. "Hey! Someone believes me!"

"What?" Riku turned to her. "Did you draw Vexen being kidnapped or something?"

"No," she replied, bitterly. Why did Riku have to assume _that?_ Was her word not good enough for him? "But I don't think Axel's ever been a good liar," she continued, firmly. "If he was lying, it'd be obvious."

"Hey!" Axel protested. "I'm not _that_ bad of a liar!"

"Regardless, you still _betrayed_ us," Riku snapped.

"Fine!" Axel threw up his hands in defeat. "Don't believe me! I don't have to deliver my message! I don't have to give you the passwords to the program, either."

Suddenly he was holding a piece of paper, and waved it in the air once.

Alpha's eyes went wide. "Are those really the passwords?"

"Uh, duh." Axel rolled his eyes, waved the paper a little again, shifting his weight a little. "Vexen gave them to me, of course." Axel held the paper up, then, close to his face. "It'd be a shame if they were, I don't know, to burn, wouldn't it?"

With a snap, his other fingers caught fire, and he held them dangerously close to the paper.

"Give me those!"

Alpha lunged at Axel, but Axel sidestepped and held the paper well out of Alpha's reach. He did, however, put out the fire.

"Hear me out first!"

Alpha straightened himself. "Fine."

Axel smirked, but it fell rather quickly. "I… suppose that would've been more dramatic if I actually had a message to deliver," he mused. "Vexen really only wanted me to give you these. Oh! And he told me about a bajillion times to tell you not to change the passwords because then he'll be locked out and the Organization will know that he gave them to you—or to someone here—and then they'd get skeptical and…"

"That sounds like him," Namine said.

In fact, it sounded like Axel was quoting Vexen word for word.

"Lemme see those," Riku took the paper from Axel and studied it. "Looks like Vexen's handwriting, alright."

"Give me that!" Alpha snatched the paper from Riku. Riku sent him a glare, but Alpha's attention was on Axel. "Was that all?" he asked, curtly.

"Don't change the passwords—"

"I'm not an _idiot!_"

Axel threw his hands up in surrender, but he was smirking. "Just making sure Vexen's only message got delivered. Anyway, I should go before someone notices I'm gone."

And he did just that.

"So… do we trust him?" Riku said, shooting a look at Alpha.

"Well…. we pretty much confirmed these are from Vexen, didn't we?" Alpha replied, after a moment. "I can check the security cameras for the World that Never Was later, though, if it'll make you feel better."

"Didn't we… already have the passwords?" Namine asked.

"He had to change them," Alpha answered, looking the paper over. "But these are—presumably—the new ones."

"That's good. I guess." Riku plopped back down on the couch. Namine scooted over a little, so he had some more room. "Why were you so afraid of Vexen being kidnapped, anyway, Alpha? I thought you _wanted _him to be a double agent or something."

"Well it would be one thing if he were going into it willingly and we had a plan—not to mention a form of communication—but this way…" Alpha trailed off and shook his head, shoving the paper with the passwords into his pocket. "I'm not sure."

"We should rescue him!" Namine said.

"I won't help," Riku said.

Namine shot him _another _dirty look. This was attitude was getting old. "_Really?_"

"I don't owe him anything!" Riku exclaimed, folding his arms across his chest. "And I'm not rescuing him."

"It's not a smart plan, anyway," Alpha said, before Namine could question Riku further. "Logically. Too much risk. Even if we knew where he was and managed to get past whoever's guarding him—which is likely half the Organization—they'll still want him _back. _It'd be a fight to keep him and it's not… worth it…" His shoulders slumped with defeat, and he just shook his head again.

"But once we rescue him, he could just go to the other universe," Namine said. "They couldn't get him there."

"Yes, they could," Alpha corrected.

"I wouldn't want to wish our Organization on the other universe, anyway," Riku said. "They've got enough to deal with."

Namine sighed. They had a point.

"Yes, exactly!" Alpha agreed. "And even if we don't tell the Organization where he went, they'll just keep attacking us until we do. Or keep raiding us, assuming we have him."

"We'd have to kill the whole Organization to get him back, from the sounds of it," Riku said, with a grimace. "I don't think _any _of us want to do that. I certainly don't."

Alpha nodded. "We'd basically be starting a war. _However… _maybe we could send someone over there to slip him a two way radio… or some form of communication. That way he could _actually _help us out from the inside." He nodded again, satisfied, and started off. "I'll look into it."

Namine watched him go, scowling furiously. She saw their logic, but it didn't make her any happier. Maybe rescuing Vexen was stupid, but Riku's attitude was… obnoxious, to put it kindly. She wasn't surprised by it, no, but he could at least be a _little _kinder.

"Are you _really _that upset with Vexen?" she asked.

He didn't look at her.

"What's it matter?" he said, shrugging. "Alpha's right. It's not worth rescuing him."

"Riku…"

"It's not worth it, Namine! I'm not going to start a full blown war over the man, so just let it drop, okay?"

She swallowed. She wanted to keep pestering, but she'd run out of words. So she let it drop.


	205. Something Off

I've! officially! finished writing this sequence and am about to start writing endgame! This is really exciting!

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><p>Queen Minnie took Sora to the library, where Mickey—<em>King<em> Mickey—was running his hands over the books on the shelves, humming something to himself. He looked up when they walked in, and smiled.

"Heya Sora!" Mickey said, warmly. "Ya feelin' any better?"

"Uh, yeah!" Sora nodded. "A little tired, but…"

It felt a little… strange, that Mickey—a _king —_was so casual. Well, Sora supposed, he was still Mickey. But he was a _king._ Weren't kings supposed to be… regal and aloof and… stuff? Not that he knew anything about kings outside of what the stories told, and most stories he read focused on the heroes, not on the kings.

"That's good!" Mickey smiled at him, and then sent a wider smile in Minnie's direction. "Here. Why don't you sit down?" He moved to a table over in the corner of the library, pausing to pull out a chair for his wife.

Sora slowly sat in one of the chairs on the other side of the table, trying to sit up as straight as possible. He wouldn't want to slouch in front of royalty.

"Do you… know what that wolf was?" Mickey asked, slowly as he took his seat.

Sora shook his head, figuring Mickey was talking about more than it just being a wolf. A magical wolf. Was it a special kind of magical wolf? Were there subspecies of magic wolves? Was this one particularly deadly? Important?

"I think…" Mickey trailed off, grimacing a little. After a second he continued, firmly. "I think that this wolf is the same Heartless we fought together in Beast's Castle. It- it has the same sort of… feeling to it, ya know?"

Sora shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "I… sorta noticed," he answered, scratching his head. "I mean, not because of how it _felt,_ but it had a lot of similarities. I think it still has the chains…"

"How did it become a wolf, though?" Minnie asked.

"I've been wonderin' that too…" Mickey sighed. "Sora? Got any ideas?"

Sora shook his head. After he'd done that, though, an image flickered through his mind—black wolf pelt under his hand… was that his hand? It _looked_ like his hand, though the memory didn't feel like his. And, wait a minute, his gloves weren't black!

But the image left his mind as quickly as it'd come.

Though… maybe he _did_ know how it became a wolf…

He opened his mouth to say that, but Mickey was speaking again.

"More importantly," Mickey said, firmly. "Was there somewhere you were headin'? Before the wolf dragged you off like that?"

Sora swallowed. Maybe he'd bring up the wolf later. "Well, I—" he began, but a sharp pain shot through his chest, cutting him short. He doubled over, clutching his stomach, his head bumping against the table. He suddenly felt _very_ sick, like he was going to throw up any second.

"Sora?"

"Okay," he coughed. "Maybe- maybe I don't feel as good as I thought." He forced himself to sit back up, grimacing. He didn't look neither Mickey nor Minnie in the eye.

"I know you may have somewhere to be, but perhaps it'd be best if you stayed here until you recovered," Minnie suggested, gently.

"Y- yeah."

It wasn't like… he had anywhere _important_ to be, did he? He thought he did, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember _where_ it was. It was all… fuzzy and dark and- and _ooh_ his head hurt.

"Do ya… wanna head back to your room?" Mickey asked, hesitating a little with every other word.

"I—" Sora swallowed again. "Maybe…" He got to his feet, staggering a little, quickly grabbing onto the chair to steady himself. He put too much of his weight against the chair, though, and ended up knocking it over. He staggered again, but this time Mickey was there to catch him.

"Careful there!"

"Sorry," Sora mumbled, straightening himself. "I'm sor—" He paused, finally recognizing the pulse in his chest, the presence in the back of his mind. It'd been ages since he'd last felt it. Since he'd last felt—

But if he felt this, then that meant his Shadow was nearby.

After all this time, he chose _now_ to show up?

Sora stood up straighter, scanning the room, eyes lingering on every corner—but there was no hiding place. And his Shadow had never been good at hiding from him. There was no corner for him to have slipped behind, and hiding under a desk seemed below him.

"Sora?" Minnie asked. "Is something wrong?"

Sora turned to look at her. She was frowning worriedly at him. Mickey was looking around the room. Maybe he had sensed Sora's Shadow, too, or maybe he just noticed that Sora was searching for something, and figured he could search too.

"I thought I sensed…" Sora began.

But there was no one here, and he knew it. His Shadow wasn't in this room. He was nearby—probably. Definitely somewhere in the Castle, though.

_It's not like I was ever any good at sensing him… _Sora thought, bitterly.

"Sensed what?" Mickey asked.

Sora shook his head, swallowing the bile in his throat. "Nothing," he said with a grimace.

"Well, you said you felt sick, didn't you?" Minnie said, a little impatiently. "Then we should get you to your room!"

Sora didn't protest.

**_xXx_**

Sora shifted against the pillows that were propping him up, trying to get comfortable. The wave of nausea had passed, but his head still hurt quite a bit, and had Mickey and Minnie not still been in the room, he would've contemplated going back to sleep.

He felt a little bad about all this—they probably had more important things to worry about than him—but he wasn't exactly sure how to bring it up. Refusing hospitality was almost as rude as demanding it when you weren't wanted.

"Do you think you feel okay enough to eat?" Minnie asked him.

He nodded, slowly. "Yeah. I think so."

"Okay," she smiled at him. "I think we're having pasta for dinner tonight…"

"Pasta's fine," Sora said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright." Minnie started for the door. "I'll have someone bring you up a plate, okay?"

"Thank you!"

"Uh-huh!"

And Minnie left.

Sora turned his attention to Mickey. "Was there anything else you wanted to ask me, uh, Your Majesty?"

Mickey chuckled. "You really can just call me Mickey, ya'know."

Sora's eyebrows crinkled as he considered that. "You sure?" he asked, slowly. He didn't know what exactly he'd expected from a King, but he certainly hadn't expected this.

"I'm absolutely positive!"

"Okay… well…" Sora cleared his throat. Then swallowed. Shifted in his bed again. "_Was _there anything else you wanted to ask me?"

"Hmm…" Mikey considered it for a moment. "I don't suppose you know why the wolf was even following you in the first place, do ya?"

Sora paused a moment before answering. A few vague images of the wolf pacing in front of him—but it wasn't him?—flashed through his mind, but he couldn't make much out of them. So he shook his head.

"No. I really don't."

"Then nope!" Mickey said. "I don't have anything else to ask you. Except, of course, if you're feeling okay?"

"Yeah." Sora tried not to chuckle. "I think it's just because of how the wolf travels between worlds. It's not exactly…" He trailed off, searching for the right word. "I- I don't think it's meant for humans."

"Mm." Mickey nodded, understanding. "Well, I'll look into it. But for now, I'll leave you be, so you can get some rest." He smiled and started for the door, but paused halfway there. "Oh! Uhm…" He turned to Sora again. "There- there _was_… one more thing I wanted to ask. If you- if you don't mind."

"I don't mind," Sora assured him.

"Well, uh," Mickey cleared his throat and scratched his ears. Sora frowned at him, a little worried about what the question might be if it was making Mickey this nervous. "Did ya, uh, get in a fight or somethin'?"

Oh, that wasn't so bad of a question. Sora's frowned still deepened, though. Of course he'd been fighting. It was hard to travel the worlds and _not_ end up fighting at some point. Even the worlds without Heartless had _some_ form of monster!

"Hmm?"

Mickey coughed. "Your- your face."

"Oh."

Sora traced his fingers over his scar—right by his jawbone. It stung a little when he touched it, but that was nothing new.

"Well," he began, rubbing his jawbone with a knuckle. How to explain it? "It's, uh- yeah. A fight. With my Shadow."

Mickey stared at him for a moment, eyes wide. "Your- _what?_" he stuttered, finally.

"My Shadow," Sora repeated, scrunching up his face. "He's uh- well- he's like a-"

"No, no," Mickey interrupted. "I know what a Shadow is. I just didn't—" He broke off, sighed. "Though I guess you can't… normally tell whether or not someone has a Shadow, huh?"

Sora shrugged. "Is it… important?"

"No." Mickey paused, reconsidered. "Unless you think he'll show up here…"

Sora shrugged again. "Not sure," he admitted. "I… thought I sensed him in the library, but I didn't see him. Don't sense him now, either. Then again…" He made a face. "It's been ages since I last saw him. Haven't seen him since- since, well, Maleficent."

How long ago had that been? Had it been… nearly a month now? Wow, time flew.

"Maleficent!?" Mickey asked, surprised.

"Uh… I was sorta… staying with her for a while."

"You were staying with Maleficent?"

Clearly, this news shocked the King.

"Not- not exactly of my own free will," Sora answered, hastily. "She sorta… kidnapped me."

"What'd she want you for?" Mickey asked.

"Still not sure," Sora admitted. "She never told me."

Mickey frowned. "Oh."

"We did- uh-" Sora coughed. "I did work with her previously, though," he said, clearing his throat. "Sorta. Something about… a door to Kingdom Hearts and needing a key and- and I'm still not terribly sure about all the details." Sora shrugged apologetically. "I was just hoping to find Kairi. Maleficent said she could help." He sighed. "Bad judgment on my part, really…"

If there was anything he regretted, it was agreeing to help Maleficent in the first place.

"Mm…" Mickey rubbed his chin. "Did you- did she ever get Kingdom Hearts?" he asked, his voice squeaking a little.

Sora shook his head. "No," he said. "Things… happened. She sorta vanished—I almost assumed she was dead until she came back." He paused, noting Mickey's obvious distress. "No one… got Kingdom Hearts, though," he added. "Like I said, Maleficent vanished, and I'm pretty sure Riku stopped- Riku stopped Ansem before he got there either."

"That's good," Mickey said, letting out a very visible sigh of relief.

"What's… so important about Kingdom Hearts?" Sora asked, tentatively. Maleficent had only spoken of how it was some great source of power and knowledge and such. But Mickey was acting like it was something more important. Something that should be protected at all costs.

Mickey looked up at him, a little shocked by the question. "Well, uh-" he began, but broke off. "It's- it's a long explanation. Maybe I'll tell ya about it another time."

"Oh…" Sora's heart sunk. But there wasn't any arguing here. "Okay…"

"Sorry," Mickey said, sending him a deeply apologetic look, before letting out a long sigh. "I should… probably go down for dinner—before Minnie comes and yells at me." He chuckled a little, at that, clearly trying to lighten the mood. "I'm sure someone will be up with your dinner pretty soon!"

"Okay," Sora said, not too worried about it. He wasn't much hungry, but that didn't mean he'd refuse the food he'd been offered. "Thanks, by the way!"

"No problem!" Mickey told him, and he left.

**_xXx_**

Mickey turned the pages of his journal, humming a little as he thought. He moved the desk lamp a little closer, to give him more light, not that that helped him find what he was looking for. It'd help if he knew exactly what he was looking for—he just had a vague memory of writing something in particular down, but he couldn't remember where or when.

"Oh, Mickey," Minnie laughed. "Are you gonna be up all night looking for that?"

He looked up at her. "Well if I'm buggin' ya, I can move to—"

Minnie just laughed again. "No, you're fine."

Mickey looked back at his journal, flipped to the next page, sighed. "I… think I'm gonna have to talk to Yen Sid pretty soon," he said. This didn't have anything to do with his journal, he just figured Minnie should know.

"What for?" Minnie asked. She didn't sound too surprised, but that, in itself, wasn't surprising.

"I've just… got some questions about Sora."

"Really?" This time Minnie did sound surprised. "What sort of questions?"

Mickey flipped another page in his journal, which, at this point, had just become something to occupy his hands. He looked at it, sighed, trying to gather his thoughts. How was he supposed to phrase his… confusion about Sora?

He'd thought he knew all sorts of things about the boy—things that Yen Sid had foreseen. Except, now that he'd actually spent more time with Sora… And there were so many questions raised about what Sora'd said…

"I mean, I knew he had some troubles with the darkness," Mickey whispered, resting his chin in his hands and his elbows on the desk. "But to have a _Shadow…_"

"Doesn't everyone have a shadow?" Minnie asked. He could tell by her voice that she was teasing, and he chuckled.

"Not that kind of shadow," he said. "The kind of Shadow I'm talkin' about is… well, they're a sort of creature bent on draggin' people into darkness. They only go after people that've dealt with darkness before…"

"Well, then doesn't it make sense that a Shadow latched onto Sora?" Minnie said.

"Well, yeah," Mickey admitted, grimacing. "But- but you've gotta reach a certain _level_ of darkness before a Shadow will go after you. So if _Sora_ has one—"

"What's so special about Sora?" Minnie interrupted.

Mickey paused and sighed again. After a second, he pushed his chair away from his desk and got to his feet.

"It's just… there was supposed to be a boy. With a Keyblade," he explained, pacing back and forth. "And when the Worlds were in danger, he was supposed to, ya'know, save them. Me and Yen Sid assumed it was Sora—he matched the description of what Yen Sid foresaw pretty well. But…" He trailed off, scratching his head.

Minnie said nothing, just stood there, letting him collect his thoughts. She knew if she interrupted him, chances were he'd lose his original train of thought.

"But when Ansem started causin' trouble, the Worlds just ended up… fixin' themselves," Mickey continued. "But I don't think… Sora helped. In fact, I think he—"

"You think he was _causing_ trouble in the worlds?" Minnie asked. She couldn't help interrupting him this time.

Mickey paused, looked at her, grimaced. "He mentioned he was workin' with Maleficent—" he began.

"That old witch?" Minnie rolled her eyes. "You know how she is. She probably tricked him into helping her. Wouldn't be the first time."

"Yeah," Mickey chuckled, knowing that to be true. Maleficent had caused problems for a while now, and there was always some poor soul with her who she'd tricked into helping.

Minnie's face softened, then, with concern. "Do you… _really_ think Sora's—" she began.

"I don't know." Mickey shook his head. "I'll have to talk to Yen Sid."

"Alright…"


	206. Q and A

Mario and Luigi Dream Team is really super good I thought I'd let you know. I've been playing it a lot and not writing as much. Not that that affects you because I've still got a ten chapter buffer between where I'm posting and where I'm writing.

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><p>Vexen paced around his room, mumbling to himself. He'd been given a room, but why? Why not lock him up in one of the dungeons, especially if they didn't plan on doing anything with him right away? No one would have to guard him, then.<p>

Of course, the only reason someone was guarding him was because that person was Xigbar and apparently he enjoyed the job. He apparently enjoyed the job so much that he didn't think he needed to _lock_ the door—though that was largely overconfidence. Not a surprise, though, coming from Xigbar.

Vexen sent a hesitant glance at the door, and after a moment's consideration, went over to open it. It was still unlocked, just like he suspected. And, also just as suspected, Xigbar was on the other side, waiting for him.

"Where do you think you're going?" Xigbar asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Nowhere," Vexen said, tersely.

Hopefully, one of these times, he'd be able to surprise Xigbar and manage to escape. Or, it was the plan, anyway. Xigbar's overconfidence would eventually be his downfall.

"Why _are_ you keeping me in a random room, anyway?" Vexen asked. He might as well pester Xigbar with questions while he was here. Xigbar would be bored enough to answer most of them if he was lucky.

"You're in a holding pattern, that's all," Xigbar replied, smirking his typical smirk. "Xemnas isn't sure what to do with you quite yet. We've got a lot of other things we're dealing with."

"What sort of things?"

"None of your business sort."

Vexen grimaced, though he'd expected an answer similar to that one.

"Alright, well," he sighed. "Then tell me why you haven't bothered _locking_ the door, at least."

"It's fun to stop you like this," Xigbar laughed. "Besides, this is the only second time you've dared open it, and even if you _did_ have the guts to open it and run, you'd still _actually _have to get past me." There was that smirk on his face again.

"Are you implying I'm a _coward?_" Vexen demanded, standing up a little straighter and scowling at Xigbar.

"Oh I don't need to _imply_ it," Xigbar replied, casually, his smirk widening. "Everyone knows you are one."

"I am _not_ a coward!"

"Yeah?" Xigbar chuckled. "If you weren't a coward, you wouldn't be here right now, would you?"

"There were _two_ of you and you _ambushed_ me!" Vexen protested. He puffed out his chest, as if that would change matters. "And, technically, it's a not a matter of cowardice that put me here," he continued. "It's a matter of the fact you overpowered me—a lack of strength opposed to a lack of will or bravery."

"Whatever," Xigbar shrugged. "We still caught you. That's all that really matters."

"I don't think it is, _Braig,_" Vexen spat.

Xigbar's eyes—well, _eye—_went wide, and he rounded on Vexen. "Hey! Don't go using my name on me! _Even!_" He glared, but it somehow turned out more like a pout. After a second he paused, grimacing. "It, uh, _is_ Even, right?"

Vexen stared.

"…Yes…."

Xigbar put his hands up in defeat. "Just gotta check, y'know, with the different universe thing and all. Though… I _suppose_ there aren't too many ways you can rearrange Even…"

Vexen frowned, considering that. "Well if you think about it," he muttered. "There are four letters and the factorial of—"

"Ah, no, wait- I- I don't care you don't need to- it was a rhetorical question!"

"—and since factorials are—"

"I really honestly don't care that much! You can be quiet now!"

"I think it's 24," Vexen said, satisfied. Then he paused, reconsidering. "Though there are two e's…. so maybe it's—"

"_Really_ I don't care. Now back in your room."

"I'd have to actually write down all possible combinations but I think it's—" He stopped, as Xigbar had just slammed the door in his face. He glared a moment, and opened it again. Well, he tried to open it, but Xigbar tried to hold it shut.

"Are you going to blabber math at me again?" Xigbar asked.

Vexen rolled his eyes. "I wasn't 'blabbering math' at you, I was using algebra to solve a question you—"

"Nope I'm keeping this door shut."

Vexen groaned. Of course, this would happen. He'd leave it at this, but he still had a few questions to ask Xigbar….

"Well I'd _like_ to know what Xemnas intends to… use me for!" he said, raising his voice slightly with frustration.

"Oh." Xigbar stopped trying to hold the door shut, and Vexen staggered backwards a little, overcompensating for the force that was suddenly absent. He stood there a moment, disgruntled, as Xigbar kept talking. "Yeah I guess you can ask that."

Vexen waited a moment, but Xigbar apparently wasn't going to answer. "_Well?_" he asked. "_Does_ Xemnas want me for anything besides restarting the Replica Program?"

"Not sure," Xigbar admitted, with a very nonchalant shrug. "We aren't sure what we want from you yet."

That wasn't a very clear answer… Then again, Vexen hadn't entirely expected one. Xigbar was hit and miss on whether or not he was going to be cryptic. He liked being blunt because it threw people off, but often his bluntness was vague in of itself.

"Why didn't you lock me in one of the dungeons?" Vexen asked.

"I don't think I signed up for a Q and A session with you," Xigbar replied, frowning now.

"You didn't seem to mind five seconds ago," Vexen argued.

"Xigbar!" someone else called, before Xigbar could answer. Well, actually, it didn't _sound_ like someone else. It sounded like… Xigbar. Obviously, his clone—no, _Replica _would be the proper term_. _Anyway, sure enough, Xigbar's Replica warped in right next to Xigbar. "Xemnas wants us," he said. "Or. You. Do you want me to go or…?"

"Ah, nah, I'm coming," Xigbar said. He sent one last smirk at Vexen. "Looks like our chitchat is over, eh?"

"What are you planning to do with Riku?" Vexen asked, quickly, a little desperately. He hadn't wanted to ask that question straight-off, but it was information he wanted—_needed_—to know. If he knew what the Organization was planning—how they were planning to kill Riku, perhaps—then he could warn someone. Warn Riku.

"Don't know," Xigbar laughed. "Kill him, probably, when he finally becomes a nuisance."

"Pity you're not a Replica, or we'd rewrite you to do it, seeing as you care so much," Xigbar's Replica added, with a sneer.

Xigbar shot him a look, seeming a little surprised. "You've been hanging around Larxenes, haven't you?"

"I dunno, I thought that one plan to rewrite Namine was a good one, didn't you?" his Replica replied, with a shrug.

"It's a horrible idea!" Vexen hissed, and then all but refrained from clapping a hand over his mouth. He really shouldn't have said that… because now Xigbar turned back to him, a sick smirk of pleasure on his face.

"Is it, now?" he asked. "Horrible as in it's not gonna work, or horrible as in it's absolutely cruel?"

"Both!" Vexen replied, angrily.

Xigbar just chuckled. "The thing is, Even," he said, pushing Vexen back into his room. "You've never been a good liar."

And then he closed the door, and Vexen could hear the faint _click_ as the door was locked.

**_xXx_**

They were talking to the local magician about a tracking spell to hunt down Sora. Kairi hugged her knees to her chest—she and Tifa and Cloud and the magician (Merlin) were all crowded around a small (not to mention _low_) table, seated in a variety of chairs. Kairi had a comfortable armchair, but she was too preoccupied to relax in it.

"Now, I'm not too experienced in tracking spells," Merlin warned, rolling up his sleeves. "But I can give it a shot." He paused, grimacing a little, one of his sleeves falling back down. "Ah. Do you have something of his?"

Cloud and Tifa both shook their heads, and Kairi started to shake hers, before remembering that she was wearing his necklace.

"I do," she said, slipping the necklace off. Merlin turned to her excitedly, shuffling over to her—stepping on the table as he did so. He held out his hand expectantly.

"Here, here," he said. "Give it here."

Kairi found herself smiling as she handed the necklace over. Merlin held it up to examine it, dangling it in front of his face, squinting his eyes. After a moment, he nodded.

"Yes, this will do. Now!" He placed the necklace down on the table and rolled his sleeves up again, brandishing his wand. "Ahh… what were the words again? Oh yes oh yes."

Tifa and Cloud exchanged skeptical glances, but Kairi watched eagerly.

Merlin cleared his throat and chanted words they couldn't understand, and then he poked Sora's necklace with his wand. There was an eruption of light, followed by colorful sparks that slowly swirled through the air, taking shape as some sort of foggy picture. Merlin watched intently, as the sparks swirled faster and faster—

—and then vanished.

Merlin crinkled his nose.

"Well drat," he muttered, scratching his beard. "I was afraid that might happen."

"Didn't work?" Kairi asked, slowly.

Merlin shook his head. "I'm afraid not." He picked up Sora's necklace, then dropped it in Kairi's awaiting hand. He patted her on the head, giving her an apologetic smile. "Terribly sorry about that."

Kairi shrugged, slipping the necklace back on. "That's alright. Thank you for trying."

She, Tifa, and Cloud all got up, then, and after brief goodbyes, headed back to Aerith's house.


	207. Threatened

I AM OBSESSED WITH RAZIA'S SHADOW IT IS SUCH A GOOD MUSICAL DESPITE IT'S OVERUSED CLICHES. anyway I think this chapter is? earlly? is it on time? All i know is that I couldn't trust to get it up tomorrow and then I'm going to be busy all weekend so it definitely wouldn't have gone up until Monday if it didn't go up now

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><p>Things were going quite well for Sora. He felt much better after a good night's rest, and hadn't sensed a single trace of his Shadow, either. He still hadn't figured out if there was somewhere important he'd been heading before having come here, but he decided not to worry about it. Every time he did, he'd feel sick again, and he'd much prefer to not <em>actually<em> get sick. Mickey and Minnie both seemed very concerned about his health—actually, everyone in the Castle did, and he was sure none of them would _actually_ mind should he get sick, but he'd still rather avoid it.

_Besides, _he kept telling himself. _I'll just stay here another… day or… so. Then I can worry about wherever it was I was heading._

Currently, Sora was on a semi-guided tour through the Castle, led by Queen Minnie herself, though Daisy had tagged along again. Daisy talked a lot, not that Sora minded—he just hoped she wouldn't get too offended about the fact he hadn't been paying attention to most of the things she said.

As for the Castle tour, Sora had simply mentioned earlier wanting to explore a little, and was surprised when Minnie had offered to show him around. Well, technically, Goofy—the Captain of the Guard—had offered first, only to remember he had something else he needed to be doing. He'd been very apologetic about the whole matter, but Sora said he didn't mind if Minnie didn't mind (and mentioned multiple times that he was okay with waiting or not going on a tour at all), and Minnie assured them both that she didn't mind either.

Sora did eventually ask her if she had any… royal duties to be attending to or anything, but between Minnie and Daisy, he learned that the kingdom was very peaceful, and apparently there wasn't usually much _to_ do. A little here and there, of course, to keep things running, but that was it.

"Is that why it's so easy to handle things when Mickey's away?" Sora asked—he'd been told by now that Mickey very frequently _wasn't_ in the Castle or anywhere on-world for long periods of time.

"Well… sorta," Minnie said. She was silent for a long moment, considering it, and then continued, slowly: "But… honestly, I do most of that stuff, anyway, even when Mickey is here."

"Really?" Sora asked, a little surprised.

Minnie chuckled.

"Well, it's just Mickey worries too much about it," she explained. "He's great at helping other people out, but when it comes to running a kingdom all he does is lose sleep over making the right decisions and- and even then he usually ends up asking what I think about the matter anyway." She smiled, a little wryly. "We eventually decided to… to skip the worrying step and just let me handle most of it."

"Besides, that way he can travel the worlds like he wants to," Daisy added.

Minnie nodded. "That too."

"Oh," Sora said.

"Hey! There ya are!" Mickey called, hurrying over to them.

Minnie turned to him, smiling widely. "I was showing Sora around the castle," she said. She paused then, tilting her head to the side. "Is something wrong?"

She looked worried. Sora turned to Mickey, too, but he didn't appear to be distressed or anything—not to Sora's eyes. Maybe Minnie saw something he didn't.

Mickey quickly shook his head. "Nothin' too serious," he said. "Goofy just says he's been seein' things around the Castle—me 'n him 'n Donald were gonna go check it out."

"What sort of things?" Minnie asked.

"Goofy's not too sure—he said he could never quite _see_ it, whatever it was, just things out of the corner of his eyes." Mickey shrugged. Now his face scrunched up a little with worry. "But I feel a sorta… dark presence in the Castle, too."

He and Minnie exchanged looks.

"Dark presence…?" Sora repeated, frowning. And with Goofy having reported not being able to actually see it properly, or, see _him _properly_,_ if Sora was right about what—_who_—it was. "That could be…"

"Could be anything," Mickey assured him. "But I think it'd best if you guys stayed out of the west wing until we're done searching."

"West wing?" Daisy asked. "Isn't that where the guest rooms are?"

"Uh-huh," Mickey said. "Apparently it's been hangin' around there a lot—'specially by Sora's room."

Sora's eyes widened. Yup. That definitely sounded like his Shadow. Not that he'd _sensed_ his Shadow near his room…

"I should come, too," he said, nodding determinedly.

Mickey turned to him, a little surprised. After a stunned second he composed himself and shook his head. "No, I- I think it's best if you stay with Minnie."

Sora grimaced.

"Whatever it is might be lookin' for ya," Mickey continued, sternly. "And we wouldn't want—"

He staggered, all of a sudden, doubling over and clutching his chest. Minnie took a step backwards, too, a hand to her heart. Daisy steadied her, and Sora considered helping Mickey—not that he understood what was going on right now.

Before he could even take a step towards Mickey, though, Mickey straightened himself out. He didn't seem hurt, just worried.

"The Cornerstone," he gasped, voice tight, _urgent. _

"I know," Minnie said. She went over to him, putting a hand on his arm, partially to steady him, partially to reassure him. "I felt it too. Sora?" She looked over at him. "Why don't you come with me, and we'll check on the Cornerstone. Mickey and Donald and Goofy can take care of that… dark presence or…" She turned to Mickey, fumbling for the right words. "Whatever it is you were going to look for."

"You sure?" Mickey asked, grabbing her hand. His eyes narrowed with concern as he studied her face.

"Positive." She sent him a reassuring smile. "If the Cornerstone was serious trouble, we'd know. It doesn't feel like it's too threatened, so me and Sora shouldn't have a problem checking on it. And if it's too much for us—which it shouldn't be—we'll wait for you."

"But the Cornerstone is more important than—"

"_Mickey. _I can handle it."

Mickey was silent for a long moment, staring at her, thinking it over. Finally, he nodded. "Okay," he said, and nodded again. "Yeah. Okay."

"You comin' Your Majesty?" Goofy called, from down the hallway.

"Yeah, we're all ready to go!" Donald added.

Mickey turned to look at them. "Yeah, I'm coming!"

He looked back at Minnie, and they held each other's gazes for a moment, until Mickey pulled away and ran to join Donald and Goofy.

Minnie let out a long breath, then started walking in the opposite direction. "Sora? This way."

"I'm coming too!" Daisy said, hurrying after them.

"What was that about, anyway?" Sora asked, once they were further down the hall.

"We had a friend cast a spell for us," Minnie explained. She quickened her pace as she talked, clearly wanting to hurry. "A sort of warning that would let us know when the Cornerstone was threatened. It's a little stronger on Mickey, but that's just so it'll catch his attention, no matter where he may be."

"And the Cornerstone?" Sora asked. "What's that?"

"It's what protects this world from darkness."

"So it's… pretty important," Sora said.

Minnie nodded. "Uhhuh."

"How worried should we be?"

"Mm… it didn't feel like it was an emergency," Minnie said, slowly, considering it. Her pace didn't slow, however. "And I don't see any Heartless, so that's a good thing… But a threat is still a threat, and the sooner we stop it, the better."

Her voice was so firm and determined that it made Sora pause.

"Maybe… Mickey should've come…" he mused.

Minnie stopped, too, throwing a questioning look back at him. "What makes you say that?" she asked.

Sora cleared his throat, avoiding her gaze. "Well… this seems a more serious than hunting for my- for that… dark… presence… shadow…" he said, clearing his throat again.

Minnie frowned.

"How do we know that dark presence isn't what's threatening the Cornerstone?" Daisy argued. "Maybe it's a good thing the boys went after it."

"Mm." Sora swallowed. "I just. I think I know what- what the dark… presence is."

Now they both turned to him. Minnie's eyes were wide, Daisy looked skeptical.

"You do?" Minnie asked. Her voice was sharp, strained, _urgent._

"Why didn't you _say_ something?!" Daisy demanded.

"I was _going_ to mention it, but—" Sora stopped. He hadn't wanted to interrupt anyone. Hadn't wanted to interrupt the King. But… this was important information, and he _should_ have… and it wasn't like Mickey would've actually _minded…_

He shifted. "I- I think it's my Shadow," he said.

Daisy scrunched up her face, clearly not following. "Shadow?"

"They're a sort of creature who latch onto people who've struggled with the darkness," Minnie explained.

"Really?" Sora raised his eyebrows, a little surprised by this news. "He said he was like a 'manifestation of my darkness' or something along those lines…"

Minnie shrugged. "I'm not sure which is right, honestly. You'd have to ask Mickey for his input, and even then, he could be wrong." She clenched her fists, then, for the first time looking a little frustrated. "But now is not the time!" She said, raising her voice a little. Her eyes narrowed as she turned to Sora. "Are you _positive_ that that is your Shadow?"

"It- uh- it _sounded_ like him!" Sora stammered. He realized then and there that he'd really never like to see Minnie any more frustrated than this, because when she was frustrated she _demanded _respect and that everyone listen to her, and somehow scared you into doing just that. He didn't want to think about what she was like when she was actually _angry. _

"I mean I guess maybe shadowy dark presences are kinda common," Sora continued, still stammering. "But not being able to see them properly can't be and also it'd explain why he's- it's- why Goofy was seeing things around _my _room and—"

Minnie nodded, satisfied, and Sora closed his mouth.

"Should we tell Mickey?" Minnie asked.

"Well the Cornerstone's more importa—"

"Do you think Mickey needs to know?" Minnie said, more firmly this time.

Sora paused. Swallowed.

"Well, uh, I mean." Sora swallowed again. "It'd be pretty obvious. Oh. If he can see him. Not everyone can see my Shadow and—"

"Right." Minnie turned to Daisy, who'd kept her mouth shut—surprisingly—since Minnie had raised her voice. "Daisy. Go tell Mickey."

"Got it!" Daisy said, and hurried off.

"And maybe tell him that—" Sora called after her, but she was too far gone. "Oh never mind."

"What was it?" Minnie asked.

"I'm just not sure if they can see him since it's really… complicated…" Sora sighed and shook his head. "Well, they'll figure it out…" It wasn't important enough to run after Daisy or go tell Mickey himself. He needed to stay with Minnie. "We should go check on the Cornerstone."

"Right. Let's go."


	208. Strange Creatures

Okay so I've probably said it on here before and I definitely said it on the blog and on tumblr recently. But I should say this again

I'm basically going to stop replying to reviews until Dead Inside is over. Part of this comes from the lack of reviews I get (which isn't a problem I don't mind not having a lot of reviews - I've been working Dead Inside for nearly three years. People have lost interest. I get it.)  
>But most of this decision to stop replying to reviews comes from the fact that I <em>really really really <em>don't want to spoil anything for Endgame and it's easier if I just stop replying to reviews rather than picking and choosing or saying "oh spoilers" (and circumvents the risk of me forgetting what hasn't come up instory yet and accidentally spoiling something)

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><p>They made their way down the hall, slowly, quietly, weapons all drawn. Mickey supposed they should just walk, casually, and maybe pull their weapons out when they finally saw the creature—that way the creature wouldn't run before they got to it—but, oh well.<p>

"You sure it was around here?" Donald asked. His voice was hushed, but he was still impatient.

"Yeah, somewhere around here," Goofy replied. If he noticed Donald's impatience, he didn't show it.

Mickey paused, then, ears twitching. He couldn't quite… _hear_ the creature, but he could sense it. A dark presence, at the end of the hall. By Sora's room.

"This way," he whispered, starting forward.

Donald and Goofy followed behind him relatively silently (Goofy's armor clinked as he walked), not questioning him.

He paused outside Sora's door, listened for a moment, then pressed himself up against the wall. Goofy immediately took place against the wall behind him, and Donald took place on the other side of the door.

"It's in here," Mickey told them, lowering his voice even more.

"This is Sora's room," Goofy said, aloud, not that Mickey needed to know that. He already knew.

"What's it doing in there?" Donald asked. He sounded skeptical, as always.

"Not sure" Mickey replied, ignoring—not for the first time—Donald's skepticism.

"Do we go in there and attack it?" Goofy asked, bending down to Mickey's level so he could whisper but still be heard. "Or d'ya think we'll scare it off?"

"Hmm…"

"Well we won't know sitting out here," Donald said, reaching for the doorknob.

"Donald wait!" Mickey called.

"Uh-oh," Goofy said.

It was too late. Donald had opened the door and thrown himself into the room, staff raised to attack.

Mickey quickly followed after him, and then stopped in his tracks. He blinked a few times in astonishment, not sure if he was actually seeing what he thought he was seeing.

There was a boy on Sora's bed. The boy looked _exactly_ like Sora, minus the fact that, well, his hair was black and he was wearing slightly different clothing. But that wasn't even the most _shocking_ part. The most shocking part was the fact he was… _sniffing_ Sora's bedsheets. Or, he had been—now he was just sitting there like a deer in the headlights.

"Hey, you were right! He was in here!" Goofy said, proudly.

Mickey couldn't find his voice to answer.

"What are you talking about, Goofy!?" Donald snapped. He was looking around the room, eyes narrowed with confusion. "There's nothing here!"

"Y-yes there is," Mickey said. His eyes were still locked with the boy's—with Sora's Shadow's. Because, of course, who else could this be? Who else could possibly look so much like Sora?

Though, the more _important _question here was: _what the heck was he doing?_

Mickey didn't know everything about Shadows, but sniffing bedsheets seemed a _little_ out of character. Not to mention just… weird in general.

"I don't see anyone!" Donald protested. He was still looking around the room, more fervently now, stepping closer to the bed.

"Uh, Donald, he's right on the bed," Goofy said. He bent down and added in an exaggerated whisper: "Ya might wanna back up."

"What are you talking about!?" Donald demanded, rounding to look at them.

"Donald, Goofy's right," Mickey said, slowly, urgently, not taking his eyes off Sora's Shadow. Sora's Shadow had stopped staring at him in shock, and was now surveying the room with interest, eyes lingering on Donald. "There is someone on the bed."

"Maybe you guys are seeing things…." Donald mumbled.

A small smirk spread across Sora's Shadows face, then. He dropped the sheets and moved off the bed, slowly, as if hoping not to draw too much attention. After a second he looked up at Mickey, then grinned, before coming up behind Donald.

"Donald!" Mickey shouted.

He wasn't quick enough. Sora's Shadow jabbed Donald in the ribs, _playfully, _but the act still sent Donald about three feet into the air, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Sora's Shadow giggled.

"What are you doing here?" Mickey demanded, taking a step forward.

Sora's Shadow looked over at him, and shrugged, casually, making his way over to the bookshelf. He ran his fingers over the edge of it, waiting until Donald had stopped quacking incoherently to speak.

"Just looking around, that's all," he said, picking up one of the trinkets off the shelf, running his fingers over it.

"What were ya doin' on Sora's bed?" Goofy asked.

Anger flashed across Sora's Shadow face. His fingers tightened around the trinket. "I was just—" he shouted, rounding on Goofy, looking about ready to attack. Mickey stepped forward, blade bared, ready to block whatever Sora's Shadow might throw.

Sora's Shadow paused, then, face twitching, before turning back to the bookshelf. "It's been… a while… since I've seen Sora," he said, slowly, as if calculating his words very carefully. "Haven't seen him since the _witch_ stole him from me!" His voice rose with anger, suddenly, and he slammed the trinket back onto the shelf, making the whole thing rattle.

Donald turned his head, hearing that.

"Witch…?" Mickey said, eyes narrowing as he thought. "You mean Maleficent!"

Sora's Shadow just grimaced, as if her name was something foul to him. That, at least, Mickey understood.

"No one mentioned Maleficent!" Donald said, stamping his foot with frustration.

"Y'mean ya can't hear him?" Goofy asked.

"No!"

Sora's Shadow smiled slightly.

"There you are!"

All of them turned to see Daisy in the doorway. She appeared to be in a hurry, and immediately addressed Mickey. "Sora says he knows what you're looking for—well, he _thinks _it's his Shadow."

"I thought so," Mickey said, turning back to look at Sora's Shadow. He'd gone back to examining the trinkets on the shelf.

"Thought what?" Daisy asked. She paused. "What are you looking at?"

"Apparently we found it," Donald grumbled.

"Donald can't see him," Goofy explained.

"Well, I can't either," Daisy said. She didn't sound happy about it, but she was calmer than Donald about the matter.

Sora's Shadow slowly set down the trinket, gripping the edge of the bookshelf again, gritting his teeth. He shook a little, and he asked:

"How is Sora?"

His voice cracked, and he leaned his head against the bookshelf, like it _pained_ him to say those words.

"Sora's doin' just fine," Goofy told him.

"He'll probably be better off once you're gone," Mickey added, pointing his blade at Sora's Shadow's back. Sora's Shadow didn't move—if he even _noticed._

"Gawrsh yer majesty, he was just asking a question…" Goofy muttered.

Mickey swallowed. Maybe the extra malice was unnecessary, but he wasn't comfortable having a creature of darkness in his castle. Especially not one bent on dragging Sora back into darkness.

"Yeah, gawrsh your majesty," Sora's Shadow mocked, bitterly. He didn't move, though. Not much. "What do you want from me, anyway? Aren't there more _important_ things you should be taking care of?"

As he said it, there was another tug in Mickey's chest. It was strange how impeccable the timing was, but he couldn't deny that _something_ had tried to threaten the Cornerstone. This tug was sharper, but brief. Not an immediate threat, but still worrisome.

"Donald! Daisy!" Mickey said, turning to them. "Go help Minnie and Sora! Me 'n Goofy will stay here and take care of this."

"Got it," Daisy said.

"Fine," Donald grumbled.

And they left.

"What are you going to do?" Sora's Shadow laughed, drumming his fingers against the wood. He still didn't turn to face them, though. His forehead still rested against the bookshelf. "_Fight_ me?" He chuckled again. "It's a waste of your time. I'm not causing any harm right now."

"Maybe we don't trust you," Goofy told him. "I know I wouldn't trust you! In fact… I don't trust you!"

"If you leave and promise never to come back…" Mickey began. But that wasn't right, entirely. "Promise to- to leave Sora alone! Then we'll—"

"I can't do that," Sora's Shadow interrupted. He turned to them, then, _finally. _His mouth was turned down into a grimace, and his voice caught when he spoke. "I can't leave Sora alone." He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes. "And you're really going to fight me over that?"

"If I have to," Mickey replied.

"It's Sora's fight."

"Mmm."

Mickey thought about that. It would be Sora's fight, wouldn't it? His Shadow. His battle. His duty. But it didn't change the other facts. They couldn't afford to lose Sora to the darkness. It was a miracle—it was _lucky_—he was here now. He couldn't be lost again.

"What d'ya think, Mickey?" Goofy asked, addressing him as a friend. "Shouldn't we let Sora fight him? If it is his fight and all…"

Mickey swallowed. Wouldn't Sora _want_ to fight his Shadow? But would he complain if Mickey killed it here?

They couldn't lose Sora again.

"Maybe it is Sora's fight," he said, baring his blade. "But I'd protect Sora anyway, if you two were to fight. I don't see anything wrong with fighting you now!"

Goofy sent a glance at him, but after a second straightened into his battle position. "Yeah! What- what he said!"

A string of darkness lashed out at Goofy. He brought up his shield to block, and the darkness hit it with a _clank, _having transformed into a string of chains.

Mickey swung his Keyblade at Sora's Shadow, but he blocked with his own Keyblade. Mickey's eyes widened at the sight of it, but he said nothing. It really wasn't too surprising, after all.

Sora's Shadow sunk into the ground, then, like an actual shadow would. Mickey turned around, and jumped back, as Goofy moved in to block Sora's Shadow's blade.

Sora's Shadow stumbled back, and Mickey pushed him out of the room with a well placed strike to his chest.

Goofy rammed into him, shoving him against the wall. Mickey jumped and drove his blade through Sora's Shadow's heart.

Sora's Shadow cried out, but it was a short cry.

Mickey looked at him for along moment. There was no blood, but that wasn't too much of a surprise. Except… he wasn't starting to fade, either, like most creatures of darkness would upon death.

So… he wasn't dead?

Sora's Shadow looked down at Mickey's blade in horror, having already dropped his weapons. His stunned silence appeared to be a response not to his apparent death, but rather to his lack thereof. Even he had expected that to kill him.

"Maybe he's like a Heartless," Goofy suggested

Mickey grimaced, but tightened his grip on his blade, nodding. He poured light through the blade—as much as he could muster. Light would kill any Heartless. Kill any Shadow, theoretically. And Sora's Shadow certainly cried out in pain, in _agony_, like it was hurting him. Mickey hated hearing it but hopefully, _hopefully—_

"IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT WORKING _CUT IT OUT_!" Sora's Shadow screamed.

Mickey did without hesitation. He pulled his blade out, and banished it, his hands shaking. "Why didn't that work?"

Sora's Shadow crumpled to the ground, clutching his chest. He looked up at Mickey, face scrunched up with hatred—no. _Fear._

"I. Don't. Know."

Mickey took a step backwards, sending a nervous glance at Goofy. Goofy's attention was fixed on Sora's Shadow, though, looking concerned. Mickey swallowed, casting his own attention back to Sora's Shadow.

He'd bent over double, clutching his head. "Why didn't that work!?" he screamed. His voice shook the normally quiet halls. "Why am I not _dead_!? That much light should've killed _any_ creature as dark as I—"

He broke off, trembling. A choked sob left his lips, but he stifled it.

Mickey swallowed, again. He wasn't sure what to do. How to respond.

"I'd of expected him to be more happy about the fact he can't die," Goofy mused, keeping his words hushed. "That means Sora can't beat him."

That news only seemed to upset Sora's Shadow more. His choked sobs grew worse with each second. His breath came in ragged gasps, like it was hard to make air enter his lungs.

Mickey stared, and had to swallow yet again, this time forcing bile out of his mouth. He'd never seen a creature of darkness look so _distraught. _So _broken._ His first impulse was to reach out and _comfort_ Sora's Shadow, to ask what was wrong, but it felt strange to ask a _Shadow_ that sort of thing.

He couldn't deny he felt sorry, though.

Taking pity on the poor creature, Mickey directed his attention towards Goofy, and said:

"Of course Sora can still beat him."

He wanted to say the words to Sora's Shadow. It was Sora's Shadow who needed to hear them. It was Sora's Shadow who needed to know that yes, maybe it was possible he could die, since apparently the alternative scared him so much. But there was no telling how a Shadow would react to such sympathy. Most creatures of darkness didn't react positively.

"But if he can't die—" Goofy began.

"Sora _has_ to be able to beat him," Mickey interrupted, firmly. "Maybe I don't know everything about Shadows, but I know they can be defeated."

Goofy thought that over, but he didn't take too long about it.

"Oh! I get it!" he said, lighting up immediately. "You're sayin' that even if we can't kill him, Sora can!"

"Yeah!" Mickey agreed.

He wasn't sure if he believed it.

He wasn't sure if he believed anything he thought he did anymore.

But the words seemed to comfort Sora's Shadow. He got control of his sobs, and his breathing calmed. He stopped clutching at his head, too, though he didn't look up at Mickey. There was second of silence, and then all of a sudden, Sora's Shadow vanished.

"Where'd he go?" Goofy asked, a little surprised.

Mickey just shook his head.

"The… the Cornerstone," he said, slowly.

"You think he went there!?" Goofy asked, automatically worried.

Mickey had to stifle a small laugh. "No I… we should go see how Minnie's doing," he clarified.

"Oh! Alright."


	209. Confrontation

Please check my profile for a link to a petition for the US Government to recognize nonbinary genders! I know a lot of you are thinking "wow that sounds lame" or "oh great rar's turned into some crazy justice blogger" but that petition means a _lot _to _a lot _of people and I personally know at least five personally who would really appreciate it if this could get signed. It is not a hopeless cause and it's not stupid either. The cause doesn't harm you, and it doesn't harm you to sign the petition either._  
><em>

According to fanfic's numbers, there are at least 40 separate people who check this fic every time it updates. That's at least 40 more signatures towards our goal. _Please go sign this petition._ We have until April 20th to get it to 10,000 signatures. Every one counts.

(More information on my profile and on the actual petition page and also on my blog-I'll probably link to the specific post on my profile for ease of access)

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><p>"In here," Minnie said, starting across the very large audience chamber. Sora followed after her, though he went much slower, taking time to appreciate the space in which he was standing. The giant door had been impressive enough, even with a little and more practical door stuck in it. But this hall was <em>huge. <em>

He'd been in pretty big halls and rooms, back in Castle Oblivion, but this dwarfed them all. The play island from back home would probably fit in this space without a problem, that's how big it was. Not to mention it was _clean_, too. Absolutely spotless white floors, and the red carpet wasn't faded at all. Either it was hardly used, or the magic brooms were better at their job than Sora'd initially anticipated.

"Sora?" Minnie called. She was more than halfway across the room, now, looking back in his direction. Sora chuckled, nervously, and rushed to catch up with her.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

She just shook her head, heading to one of the thrones. She reached under the arm of it, patting around, as if looking for something. After a moment she grimaced and bent down so she could see the underside, muttering to herself. Sora slowly moved closer, wondering what she was doing. It was almost like she was looking for a… hidden switch?

"Aha!" she exclaimed, and there was a _click_ that sounded a lot like a switch being pulled.

The floor rumbled beneath them. It was _moving. _A bright light filled the room, and Sora had to shield his eyes. When the light cleared and the floor stopped moving Sora saw a set of stairs leading downwards, presumably to where the Cornerstone was.

"Down there?" Sora asked.

"Uh-huh."

Down the stairs was another wide, open room. It was empty save a single large glass ball, filled with light. The Cornerstone. The room was noticeably darker than the Audience Chamber, which seemed to be an effect of the thorns that covered the walls.

"Oh dear…" Minnie took one worried look around the room, and then headed straight for the Cornerstone.

Sora's attention remained on the thorns. They seemed vaguely… familiar. He bent a little closer to them, squinting, trying to recall where he'd seen them before. He'd _definitely_ see thorns like these before. But where?

"Mmm… it's not burning as bright as it should…" Minnie fretted. Sora looked up at her. Her attention was fixed on the Cornerstone, one of her palms pressed against its glass.

"Do you think the thorns have something to do with that?" Sora asked, joining her by the Cornerstone. He sent a look at her, but she was too focused on the Cornerstone to notice. After a second, Sora turned back to it and hesitantly reached out to touch it. He was surprised when his fingers were stopped about three inches from the Cornerstone—held back by some invisible barrier. It stung his fingers, too, almost like a bolt of electricity.

"They mi—oh!" Minnie turned to him, eyes wide. Her eyes flickered to the Cornerstone, then back to him

Sora swallowed, shaking his hand a little. He wasn't sure why that had happened, but given how shocked Minnie was, it probably wasn't supposed to happen. Was it because…

That thought process came to a halt as the hairs on his skin stood up. Something dark had entered the room, and he could feel it in the air. He turned to see what it was, and found Maleficent. That would explain the thorns. But… now that Sora looked closer, he noticed that Maleficent wasn't _entirely_ there. She was like a projection, a ghost—her image was here, but she wasn't solid.

"Maleficent!" Minnie exclaimed, taking a step away from the Cornerstone, tensing defensively. Sora summoned his Keyblade immediately, sinking into his battle stance. He didn't doubt that Minnie would've been able to protect the Cornerstone alone, but it would be rude to not help her out.

The motion of summoning his Keyblade brought Maleficent's attention to him. What had been a mocking smile—directed at Minnie—instantly fell to a glare.

"What are _you_ doing here?!" she demanded, eyes narrowing as they focused on Sora.

"What- what's it matter to you?" Sora spat in response, trying to seem as threatening as possible. Unfortunately, being in front of Maleficent still made him shake a little, out of nervousness. It was hard not to be intimidated by her.

Maleficent glared at him for a moment more, then turned up her chin. "Well, I suppose it is highly _inconsequential,_" she said, turning away from him with a swish of her cloak. She made her way towards the Cornerstone and unfortunately, seeing as she was no more than a ghost of an image, they couldn't stop her. Sora ended up taking a step out of her way, though it was more habit than anything else. Not that having someone walk _through_ you could be a pleasant feeling…

"What are you doing here, Maleficent?" Minnie asked. Her voice was pleasant enough, but her hands were balled into fists and her shoulders shook a little.

"Ah, Queen Minnie." Maleficent bowed, though the glint in her eyes and the slight smirk on her face suggested she didn't actually mean any respect by it. "I see you're as radiant as always."

"And I asked you a question," Minnie replied, glaring now. "What are you doing here?"

Maleficent just smiled, directing her full attention to the Cornerstone. "I'm here on a little… property venture. Except…" She reached out her hand towards the Cornerstone, slowly, as if anticipating the barrier. "This world is just a bit too _bright_ for my liking." Her fingers hit the barrier, then, and she tensed visibly.

Sora swallowed, his own fingers stinging at the memory of what that stun felt like.

"I suppose I'll just have to fill every room with my owner personal touch of darkness," Maleficent continued, smugly. She flashed a look back at Sora. "You could still help me, boy, you know," she said. "I'd be more than happy to take you back."

Sora scoffed a little. Her persuasion tactics were a little less than sub-par.

"I'm sure Sora doesn't want anything to do with you!" Minnie protested.

"Really?" Maleficent raised her eyebrows. "I didn't hear _him_ say anything of that sort."

"She's right," Sora said, baring his blade. "I don't want anything to do with you anymore!"

"Pity. It'd be much easier with you. But no matter."

"Ooh, Maleficent, you stop this, right now!" Minnie warned, taking a step forward.

"Hmph." Maleficent smirked. "Oh, I'll stop, to be sure. Just as soon as the Castle belongs to me!" She let out a shrill cackle and then vanished in a flash of green fire. Her laughter still rang through the hall even after she'd vanished.

"Ugh," Sora groaned, banishing his Keyblade.

Minnie sent a worried look at him. "You okay?"

"What? Of course!" He laughed, nervously. "I mean, it's not like she did anything…" He trailed off, sending another look at the Cornerstone, rubbing his thumb over his fingers. Why hadn't he been able to touch it….?

Minnie slowly nodded, though she didn't look like she believed him. "We should go tell—"

Her words were cut short as Donald barreled into the room. Daisy followed after him, though at a comparatively slower pace.

"Mickey- Mickey said there was trouble," Donald panted, skidding to a halt.

"No trouble just yet," Minnie assured him. "Only Maleficent."

That news only made Donald turn red with anger. "Why that..! I oughta—" He continued spewing threats, but most of them were lost in the mix of his angry quacking. Sora tried to make a few out, but didn't have much luck.

"She's not here anymore, Donald," Minnie told him, calmly, and immediately turned to Daisy. "Is Mickey doing okay?" she asked.

Daisy nodded. "Mmhmm. He shouldn't be much longer."

"Was it my Shadow?" Sora asked.

"Don't know," Daisy shrugged. "I couldn't see anyone, but Mickey and Goofy could."

"Oh, that was definitely him," Sora said.

"Well, let's head up to the library," Minnie said, after a second. "Mickey should meet us there when he's done, and we'll regroup—or, discuss what we're going to do about Maleficent, anyway."

**_xXx_**

Sora's Shadow didn't hesitate—he went straight to Hades. He had a couple of _questions_ to ask the Lord of the Dead.

To say he was shaken up after being impaled and nearly drowned in light was an understatement. He was still trembling, and nearly collapsed with every step he took. He'd opted to walk—just a little—to Hades' throne room (or whatever it was) to give himself time to compose himself. Obviously, it wasn't working.

Hades wasn't even surprised when he entered. He just lit up, obviously anticipating a progress report on their plan. He paused after a second, though, likely sensing Sora's Shadow's anger, or rather, seeing how disgruntled he looked.

"You get beat up or something?" Hades asked, still casual about the matter. After a second though, his voice fell to seriousness. "Our plans aren't shot, are they?"

Sora's Shadow just pounded his fist against the Disney Castle model in the middle of the room. It shook a little, and a couple of the figures fell over.

"I should be dead," he said, firmly. He looked up at Hades. "Why am I not dead?"

Hades took extra care in examining him. "I dunno," he said, after a moment. "The Mouse try 'n do you in?"

"I should be _dead!_" Sora's Shadow repeated, firmer this time. He hoped he didn't sound too desperate. His knees were still shaking, though, so the point was probably moot. "That blow should've _killed_ me! _Why_ am I still here!?"

"Well, clearly, that blow _shouldn't_ have killed you," Hades replied with a chuckle. "If it was _supposed_ to, you would've ended up here and then I would've had the say on whether or not you got to keep living. From what I can tell you, you haven't been anywhere near dead for a while."

"But why _is_ that?!" Sora's Shadow demanded. "That would've killed _anyone!_"

"Ah, I think you mean it would've killed anyone _human_" Hades corrected. "And, if I remember correctly, you're _not _human."

Sora's Shadow stopped, eyes wide. His heart pounded in his throat.

"Non-humans tend to be harder to kill," Hades added.

"You can- you can kill heartless!" he protested.

"More like… get rid of them for a while until they reform as a different shape."

"But—"

"Listen, kid," Hades interrupted. "I don't know why you can't die, I just know that, from the looks of it, you can't! Got a problem with that?"

"Yes!" Sora's Shadow shouted. "I do!"

Hades raised his eyebrows. "Geeze… people tend to be happier when they learn they're immortal…" he muttered, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

"I _don't want _to be immortal!"

He was screaming, now, furiously _protesting_ against this apparent fate. He wanted to punch something. Wanted to find something that he could wring the neck of. Why couldn't he die? _Why_ couldn't he _die!?_

"Really?" Hades asked, clearly shocked. "What's the big deal about being immortal?"

Sora's Shadow didn't have an answer. He knew the possibility of living forever scared him senseless—but he wasn't about to tell Hades that.

"Can- can _Sora_ kill me?" he asked, finally, voice cracking.

It was his only other option. His only other hope. If the Mouse was right… He _had_ to be right.

Hades just shrugged. "Maybe? I don't know!" he said. "I mean I guess it could be possible, but honestly I've never had one of _your_ kind on my doorstep before. Not dead anyway." He waved the matter aside then. "But, more importantly, what about our plan? How's it working out, hmm?"

Sora's Shadow glared. "I don't know."

"Then find out!"

He groaned. "Fine, just two seconds."

He closed his eyes, listening. Something had been threatening the Cornerstone—whatever the hell _that_ was—while he had been there. Hopefully it was Maleficent. Sora would know…

Oh how he'd _missed_ being able to sort through Sora's head like this. Listen in on his thoughts, and what he was hearing, too.

"Maleficent was there," he said, aloud.

"Good!"

"But…" His face fell. "Oh…"

"What!?"

It was amazing how quickly Hades' mood could go from pleased to furious.

Sora's Shadow sighed. "Apparently she… wasn't… exactly there? Hang on!" He squeezed his eyes shut, focusing harder, digging deeper. "She was… it was like she couldn't _actually _set foot there. Their defenses are still too strong."

"Send a little Heartless in!" Hades declared, pleased again. "That'll weaken their defenses."

Sora's Shadow sent a glare at him. "Heartless don't like being sent there."

"So? I'll send them myself if I have to!"

Sora's Shadow rolled his eyes. Sighed again. He supposed it wouldn't take _too_ much coaxing to send Heartless in there. They wouldn't be happy with him, but they would listen. They always did.

"Will it be enough?" he asked.

"Ehh, no telling," Hades said. He shrugged. "Oh, what the hey, I'll lend her a little of my power. It's not like she's gonna get anywhere with it—this ends with her death either way, am I right?" He smirked. "Either you kill her or the Mouse does. No question about that. And, hey, worst case scenario is she actually _beats_ the Mouse. No complaining there, really. Not from me. Well, so long as she doesn't get Sora…"

"I'll be sure she doesn't," Sora's Shadow said, firmly. He wouldn't lose Sora to Maleficent. Not again. He'd die before he'd let that happen. Even if he couldn't _actually_ die. Apparently.

"Good!" Hades was grinning, all too pleased with himself and the situation. "Then we're good!"


	210. Battle Plans

Link to the nonbinary petition is still on my profile. We need about 25000 more signatures before April 20th. Spread the word!  
>There is also an incredibly comprehensive tumblr post linked to on my profile which explains the issue that the petition is hoping to solve.<p>

Also I'd really appreciate it if you checked out the blog post that goes with this chapter. I... got into Portal recently and put a lot of Portal related links on there. (Free download for the Portal 2 soundtrack. A walkthrough of both games so people who can't afford to buy it can still enjoy it - I didn't play it myself and I still thought it was really great.)

and that's it! Read away!

* * *

><p>They didn't even make it to the Library. Mickey met them in the hall right outside the audience chamber. He seemed a little preoccupied, fidgeting often. Even Goofy seemed more distracted than normal. Mickey lit up once he saw them, however, and immediately started talking:<p>

"That dark presence—" he began.

"Mickey, how important is this?" Minnie interrupted. She was hesitant as she spoke, though, like she didn't want to interrupt him.

"Uh, a little important…" Mickey said looking taken aback. He blinked a few times, then his face hardened with determination. "But probably not as important as the Cornerstone."

"Are you sure?" Minnie pressed. "I'd rather not interrupt you if this is important, but the Cornerstone does take precedence."

"I'm sure," he assured her. "What's goin' on?"

"Well, Maleficent was here," Minnie said.

Sora frowned, wondering how much longer it was going to take them to discuss all this. Minnie was heading into things rather slowly, but the only way to hurry her up was to just butt in, and that'd be rude.

"Are you okay?" Mickey asked, worried immediately.

"Yes, I'm fine!" Minnie said. "Maleficent wasn't _exactly_ here, she was just… intending to be here?" Minnie frowned. "Maybe that's not the right way to put it…" she murmured.

"She mentioned taking over the Castle," Sora chimed in, figuring they really should just hurry to the point.

Mickey turned to him, eyes wide. "Oh no!" he exclaimed. "The Castle!?" He turned to Minnie, for reassurance that this was true. She nodded.

"Oh, Mickey calm down," Minnie said, chuckling lightly. "You know that witch has hardly any power here! We should be on guard but we don't have to be too worried."

"Okay…"

Mickey didn't seem too convinced.

"She's right, Yer Majesty," Goofy said. "The Heartless haven't even managed to get in yet—oh!"

Just as he said it, a couple dozen Heartless (largely Shadows, from the looks of it) appeared around them. Everyone took their battle stances.

Except Sora.

Sora burst out laughing.

He covered his mouth with his hand, but that didn't stop the giggles from coming out. Everyone sent him a look, each of them varying from worried to confused to skeptical.

"Gawrsh, Sora, what's so funny?" Goofy asked.

"Sora this isn't the time for laughter there are Heartless," Donald snapped.

Sora had to move his hand away from his mouth so he could breathe, but once he'd gulped in air the laughter continued. It was much more strained this time, at least, due to the slight lack of air. Sora still felt awful.

Mickey and Minnie both sent him sideways looks, and nearly in unison they asked:

"Sora…?"

"I- I'm sorry I shouldn't- shouldn't be laughing-" Sora stuttered, all at once trying to _stop _and get air in his lungs and explain himself. "It's just- the- the timing- of him saying- and the- the Heartless—"

"Look out!" Daisy called, throwing a very large blast of Fire magic past Sora and at a Heartless that was sneaking up behind Minnie. Goofy ran by, then, bashing through a string of Heartless and launching half of them into the air.

Sora doubled over with his uncontrollable laughter, now, tears welling up in his eyes, his sides aching. "I am _so sorry_—" he gasped. "I don't- don't know why I'm—"

"_Thunder!_" Donald called, and Sora more felt than saw the bolts rain down around all of them, striking the Heartless. He heard a couple swipes of a Keyblade, felt a blast of light to his left, and clutched his aching gut with hand and covered his mouth with the other.

He forced the air into his lungs and pinched his nose. Deep breaths could calm laughter. Eventually. And, finally, they did. Sora straightened, shook his head, still breathing deeply, trying to keep himself from bursting into giggles again. His hand slowly moved from his gut to his heart, clutching at his shirt.

He knew what this feeling was, now. It hadn't happened in ages, but it had happened before. His Shadow….

"Sorry," he mumbled, but no one was focused on him anymore.

Goofy was peering out into the gardens. Everyone else was finishing up this batch of Heartless, though there weren't many left.

"There!" Donald declared, as his Blizzard finished off the last Heartless. "That takes care of that."

"Not so fast, Donald," Goofy said. "There's more down in the gardens."

Donald went over to look, and started grumbling immediately.

"Why don't you go take care of them?" Mickey suggested. "I'm sure it won't be too much trouble, especially not for my Captain and Court Magician."

Donald brightened at the use of his official title. "Of course, Your Majesty!" he said, and hurried off in that direction.

Goofy started, too, but paused after a few steps. "Sora? You wanna come help?"

Sora shook his head. "No, that's okay," he said.

"Alright…"

"I'll come!" Daisy said. "Donald's really awful at remembering to Cure," she added, in a hushed voice, as she passed Sora.

She and Goofy then followed after Donald.

"What was that about?" Mickey asked, turning to Sora.

"My Shadow…" Sora whispered, closing his eyes, fingers tightening around the cloth of his shirt. He took a deep breath, in and out. He'd hardly notice the lack of connection with his Shadow, but now that it was back, he was wondering how he did. There was something that felt strangely… _natural_ about it. "He…" Sora paused, licked his lips. "He sent the Heartless. Tch." He rolled his eyes, then. "Thought it was _funny._"

"And you were laughin' because he was laughin'?" Mickey asked.

"Probably." Sora sighed, scratched his cheek. "Sorry, by the way."

Slowly, Mickey shook his head. "No… it's- it's alright."

Sora raised his eyebrows, worried, hearing Mickey's slight hesitance. Then again… it wasn't like randomly bursting out laughing in the middle of battle wasn't _crazy_ weird.

"What are we gonna do about Maleficent?" Minnie asked.

Mickey frowned, thinking about it. "Well… Maybe I should see what the Cornerstone looks like…" He looked over at the Audience Chamber doors, rubbing his hands together nervously.

"It's alright," Minnie said, quickly. "A lot of thorns in the room in general, and the Cornerstone itself is weaker than normal, but not in any immediate threat."

"Thorns, huh? That's Maleficent alright." Mickey shook his head. "You should seal the Audience Chamber so the Heartless don't get in," he added, urgently.

Minnie nodded and went to do that.

"What's the plan, though? We gonna wait 'til Maleficent comes here?" Sora asked. "Or we gonna go to her?"

Mickey shrugged. "Do we even know where she is?"

"Maybe," Sora said. "I know where her sort of current base is. The old Castle in Hollow Bastion—though it's in even worse ruins than ever. Hardly has a roof anymore. It's a miracle to find a dry spot when it's raining…"

He shook his head at the thought. Waking up numerous times due to being rained on had never been fun. And it was _full_ rain, too, not just a couple leaks here and there. The roof in his room—well, the room he'd stayed in when with Maleficent—had been missing most of his roof. And if he'd wanted to move rooms, he'd have had to move the bed himself.

"Then I s'pose we _could_ take the fight to her…" Mickey mused.

"We shouldn't leave the Castle undefended, though," Minnie said. Given the glow of magic on the doors, she'd finished with the protection spell. "What if she shows up while we're looking for her?"

"I could stay here," Mickey said, almost immediately. "And Donald and Goofy and- and Sora could go after her." He swallowed, but nodded, firmly.

Sora found himself smiling at the thought. Fighting Maleficent would be nice. …wouldn't it? Getting revenge…

But did he really _want_ revenge?

Something tugged in his heart, _hard, _and a wave of nausea washed over him. He staggered a step backwards, reaching out to grab onto something, so he could steady himself. Except there wasn't anything. He sunk to the ground, instead, covering his mouth with one hand, fighting the urge to gag.

"Then again…" Minnie said, slowly, bending down next to Sora. She exchanged a glance with Mickey. "There is Sora's health to consider…"

"I'm fine!" Sora protested. He coughed. "It was- it was just my Shadow. He- he…"

"Maybe Minnie's right," Mickey said. His eyes were narrowed with concern. "Maybe you should stay here."

"No, I'm fine, really!"

"Are ya sure?"

"Yeah!"

Mickey frowned. "But if you collapse like this while you're—"

"I won't!" Sora said, firmly. "This was just- just my Shadow. He wouldn't do this to me while I'm fighting."

"I don't see why he'd be nice to you just to keep you from dying…"

"Well—"

"It's probably best if you stay here."

"I can still fight her I swear!"

"I'm not saying you can't fight her. I'm just saying maybe you should stay here instead."

Sora pursed his lips. He probably shouldn't be arguing with Mickey. With a _king. _For the most part Mickey was very patient, but he seemed to be growing frustrated. Sora couldn't blame him, but he wanted to fight Maleficent.

"But I know the layout of Hollow Bastion," Sora protested. "I know where she might be, I know—"

"Donald and Goofy can handle it," Mickey said. "I trust them with my life. I'm sure they'll be fine."

"Yeah but—"

"Sora," Minnie interrupted, gently. "Maybe we could use your help around here. I'm sure Mickey could use the help against Maleficent, if she does show up."

Sora grimaced, swallowed. He really should stop arguing. The chances of Maleficent showing up here were still pretty high. He could still fight her. And, more importantly, if he kept up the protesting he was going to sound like a spoiled little kid. If he hadn't sounded like one already…

"Yeah…" he said, swallowing again. "Alright."

"Thank you," Mickey said, straightening. "I'm going to go tell Donald and Goofy." He sent a concerned look at Sora. "Maybe you should get some rest…"

Sora rolled his eyes. "I'm fine, really…"

"Then you can help me out in the library," Minnie said.

"Oh! Okay!" Sora quickly got to his feet and dusted himself off.

**_xXx_**

"So what are we looking for?" Sora asked, as he pulled down a random book from the shelves and flipped through its pages.

"Any record of something similar happening before," Minnie replied. She was on the other side of the room, running her fingers along the spines of the books, carefully checking the titles. "I don't think there is one… but it can't hurt to look…"

Sora put the book back on the shelf, pulled down another. "How, um, worrisome is all this?"

"Mm… a little." Minnie pulled a book down, finally, taking it over to the desk. "The Heartless being here, more than anything else. Maleficent is no surprise, nor a huge problem, but the Heartless…" She let out a long breath and shook her head. "The Cornerstone _should_ keep them out. The fact that they're here…"

"Is it because of Maleficent?"

"Maybe…" Minnie shrugged. "But she shouldn't be strong enough to weaken the Cornerstone this much. Not on her own. She must be getting help from somewhere… But where?"

Sora sighed. "Unfortunately, I don't know. I don't remember her making any deals with anyone. But she wouldn't have told me about it, anyway…" He trailed off. "I guess we should get looking."

"Mmhmm…"


	211. Arrival of Darkness

ahhhh, I meant to have this up Wednesday, but it totally slipped my mind, and I ended up being really busy yesterday. Of course, if I'd really wanted to be productive, sitting down and playing Chain of Memories probably wasn't the _best _idea, seeing as I was on Floor 12. And anyone who's played the game knows Floor 12 is Destiny Islands aka fourth and final Repliku battle followed by a Larxene battle and it's basically the part of the game that gives me the most feels. Hah.  
>If you're interested, I did liveblog the event, and it's under the "rar plays com" tag on my personal tumblr. I also did a breakdown of the scene before the Larxene battle, and that's in the rar plays com tag, but I'll also link you to that specific post on the blog post that goes with this chapter<p>

IN OTHER NEWS! REALLY EXCITING! THE NONBINARY PETITION REACHED IT'S GOAL! A big thank you to everyone who signed and spread the word about it!

* * *

><p>Mickey took a deep breath, and then pushed open the door to Yen Sid's study. Yen Sid looked up from the large tome he was paging through.<p>

"Mickey," he said, simply. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Well, I don't have good news." Mickey moved to stand before Yen Sid's desk—a familiar position. He met Yen Sid's eyes. "Maleficent's threatened my Castle."

Yen Sid frowned with concern. "The Cornerstone?" he asked.

"She's weakened it somehow," Mickey replied. He sighed and shook his head. He still was having a little trouble believing this was even happening. The Cornerstone had protected them without fail for countless years before now, and not once had he considered it _stopping._

Yen Sid's eyes widened a little, and there was genuine concern in his voice as he spoke. "Has she?"

Mickey nodded, solemnly. "The Heartless have gotten past our defenses and everything," he said.

"That is… troublesome," Yen Sid admitted.

Mickey just nodded again, slowly starting to pace from one end of the room to the other. "Minnie and Sora have determined she's gettin' help from somewhere, but neither of 'em are sure _where_," he explained. "And no one's got any idea on how she's even doing this in the first place! Donald and Goofy haven't come back, either…"

"When did you send them off?"

Mickey paused and looked up. "A few days ago," he said. "I sent them to see if they could head Maleficent off, but I'm afraid something might've happened to 'em."

"They're fine," Yen Sid said.

"Ya sure?"

"Mickey, I would know if something had happened to them."

Mickey smiled a little. Yen Sid was right there, at least.

"And I am sure they have it taken care of," Yen Sid continued. "I cannot imagine any other reason as to why they have yet to return."

"Ya really think so?" Mickey asked, swallowing.

Yen Sid closed his eyes and lowered his head—his form of a nod.

Mickey let out the breath he'd been holding. "Alright then," he said. "I guess I should get goin', then. Don't want to leave the Castle undefended for too long. I'll- I'll come back if I need anything else."

He started for the door.

"Mickey." Yen Sid's voice stopped him. "Why are you really here?"

"Wh- whaddya mean?" Mickey asked, chuckling nervously.

"You came here about more than your castle, I presume?" Yen Sid said.

Mickey turned back around, coughed. "Well… there was…" he began, shifting from foot to foot. He cleared his throat again, and then steeled his resolve. "It's about Sora."

"Hmm?"

Yen Sid didn't seem terribly surprised.

"I'm- uh, I'm not so sure if he's who… you expected him to be," Mickey said. He tried to keep eye contact with Yen Sid, but he wanted to look out the window. At his feet.

"Is that so?"

"Yes! He- he's dealt with the darkness, he's worked with Maleficent, he-" Mickey stuttered a second, before saying: "He has a _Shadow._"

"Does he now…!?" Yen Sid's eyes widened with shock.

"Yes. I've seen it myself."

He'd more than seen it. He'd fought it. Tried to kill it.

Mickey swallowed. His attempt and failure to kill Sora's Shadow left an unpleasant taste in his mouth. And he still hadn't told Sora…

Yen Sid took a moment before speaking, obviously trying to gather his words. "I suppose that does prove… worrisome," he admitted, slowly.

"He can't be the boy," Mickey said, immediately. "Can't be the Hero you foresaw—"

"Mickey," Yen Sid interrupted. He didn't sound happy. "While you are right in the fact all this is troublesome, you are wrong about him not being the boy."

"But-"

"Tell me," Yen Sid continued, like he hadn't heard Mickey. "Has your past as a mischievous mouse who never cleaned up the messes he made prevented you from becoming a King?"

Mickey stopped short, flinching a little. "Well, no," he said. "But—"

"Then Sora's past dealings with the darkness won't prevent him from being the boy."

"But the darkness is what we've set out to destroy!" Mickey protested. "The boy, the supposed Hero of Light, can't be—"

"What? Tainted?" Yen Sid countered. "It seems to me, Mickey, that your problem is not with Sora, but with the darkness in him."

"Well of course it is!" Mickey said, growing a little impatient. "I've sworn to destroy the darkness! It's my duty as a Keyblade Master—"

"No, your duty as a Keyblade Master is to keep the balance!" Yen Sid shot to his feet, voice booming. "Darkness cannot be destroyed completely. Yes, it has gotten out of hand lately in the past few decades, but we don't need to destroy it, only tame it!"

"Of… of course… Master Yen Sid," Mickey murmured, looking down at his toes. His face was hot with embarrassment.

"Look at it this way," Yen Sid said, sitting back down in his chair with a huff. "The darkness may have taken Sora once, but has it consumed him?"

"No…"

"Then hope is not lost. I'll say it again: Sora's past dealings with the darkness are troublesome, but they will not prevent him from being who he needs to be."

"Are- are ya sure?" Mickey asked.

"Positive."

"Okay…"

"If you're so worried about Sora, you should focus that worry into making sure the darkness does not take him again," Yen Sid said. "We may not be lucky enough to get him back a second time."

Mickey swallowed, nodded. "Of course. I- I should… get goin'."

"Let me know if Maleficent still proves a problem."

"I will," Mickey said, and left.

**_xXx_**

"This is ridiculous," Daisy grumbled. "Can't get three steps anymore without Heartless showing up."

"It is ridiculous," Sora agreed.

They were doing rounds of the Castle, trying to clear as many Heartless as possible. The amount of Heartless had steadily increased over the past few days, and everyone was progressively growing more worried. Sora didn't even know the world well, but he could feel it darkening, slowly being polluted by the Heartless.

"The Heartless don't seem to mind you," Daisy laughed, but it was a little rueful. She sent a blast of Fira at a Heartless near Sora, though she was right: it didn't seem keen on attacking him.

"Yeah…" Sora chuckled nervously and swallowed, bringing his Keyblade down on another Heartless near him. He didn't want to think too much about _why_ that might be—the whole business about not being able to touch the Cornerstone the other day was discomforting enough as it was, he didn't need to add anything else on top of it.

Sora hesitated a moment, before closing his eyes and reaching out with his mind. Or, he did something like that—unsure of what exactly he needed to do. It wasn't like the Heartless were going to attack him, apparently, so he could figure this out without too much worry of getting hurt.

_Hello? _he sent, tentatively, trying to get his Shadow's attention. He wasn't sure if a hello would be enough, but it wasn't like he had a name to call his Shadow by. And he'd never done this before…

There was a long moment of silence, and then:

_"You're contacting _me?_"_

That was his Shadow, alright. He sounded pretty surprised. And for a flickering second, their connection granted Sora a glimpse of his emotions. It went by too fast for him to pick anything out besides the surprise, though he was sure there was something _else_ there.

_It did work! _Sora thought, excitedly. He opened his eyes and went back to attacking the Heartless around him, satisfied that he'd successfully established a connection.

_"You thought it wouldn't?" _his Shadow asked.

_Well it's not like I've ever contacted you _before. _You usually just butt your way into my conversations whether I want you to or not. _Sora rolled his eyes and shook his head. Hadn't his Shadow _just _mentioned it was a surprise he'd contacted him?

_"Oh," _his Shadow replied.

That was it. Just "oh", followed by a long pause.

_It's, uh, been a while, _Sora sent. He couldn't entirely remember the last time he and his Shadow had talked. Or seen each other. Or…

_"Can we, uhm, skip the small talk and get to the part where you tell me why you contacted me to begin with?" _His Shadow seemed a little irritated.

Sora cast Fire at a Heartless sneaking up on Daisy. "Well…" he began, then caught himself. He didn't need to say it out loud. _Do you know anything about Maleficent?_

_"Why would I?" _his Shadow answered almost before Sora'd finished. _"It's not like I'm working for her! Never have, never will. She hates me."_

The last bit was almost an afterthought, and a surge of pain shot through Sora's chest at it. A surge of anger. A surge of…_ fear? _Whatever it was, his Shadow was sure to mask it all quickly, and Sora did his best not to let it distract him from the Heartless.

_Okay…, _Sora thought with a sigh, a little disappointed. He'd sort of hoped his Shadow might've known if Maleficent was working with anyone, but now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure why.

He turned his attention to one of the Heartless—this one was sniffing his shoes. He kicked it away and killed it with once swipe of his blade.

_Do you know anything about Heartless? _he asked his Shadow. He didn't think their connection had been broken yet.

There was a slight pause, though, before his Shadow replied.

_"Well, duh, it'd sorta be weird if I didn't," _he said. _"Why?"_

_You wouldn't happen to know why they aren't… attacking me, then? Would you?_

There was another pause, much longer this time. Sora could feel his Shadow's emotions churning, though he couldn't entirely pick out any specific emotions. Surprise, again, seemed pretty prevalent. But besides that… there wasn't much telling. They were all too jumbled and pretty well masked.

_"I- uh- that- uh…" _his Shadow was stuttering for words. _"That's good! That's- that's _great!_ Yeah! See, Heartless don't attack kin, so that must mean they think you're family, or something."_

"No!" Sora protested, aloud.

Daisy threw him a look. "Is something wrong?"

"Uh…" Sora quickly shook his head, trying to blow it off. "Sorry. Just. Thinking aloud."

The answer probably wasn't enough for Daisy—she could be as skeptical as Donald—but she didn't press the matter, at least. The fact that there were _still _plenty of Heartless around probably had something to do with it. It was hard to be nosy when there were Heartless to be dealt with.

_"Yeaaah!" _Sora's Shadow laughed. It rang in Sora's ears, an entirely too familiar and incredibly unpleasant sound. _"Means you're darker than you think. Great new for me!"_

_Shut up! _Sora thought, angrily.

_"You were the one who asked for my opinion!"_

"Well—"

Sora froze.

A darkness had swept over the world, very suddenly, and he recognized it all too well.

"Maleficent's here," he told Daisy, eyes wide.

She looked up at him. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Then don't just stand there! We have to tell the King!"


	212. Puppet

Heeyy I actually got this up on time this time. Whadaya know?

There is actually an ASAS extra content chapter for this chapter! It's ASAS ch61  
>There is also some brainstorm notes in the blog post that goes with this chapter. If you're interested<p>

Also I got 120 Shine Sprites in Super Mario Sunshine. I got basically nothing for it but I got all 120. I felt the need to tell you that.

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><p>Sora bolted down the hallways, Daisy somewhere behind him.<p>

The Library. Mickey was in the Library. Maleficent was… who knows where. But somewhere. Sora could feel her presence tainting this world worse than the Heartless had, and it made his stomach flip.

Speaking of the Heartless, they still cluttered the hallways. Sora didn't have any trouble slipping past them, however. They continued to ignore him, though he thought he felt one of them swiped at his ankles as he passed, much like a cat would.

He vaulted around the final corner, hand against the wall to control his speed and his turn, and then he skidded to a halt.

Maleficent had beaten him here.

She and Mickey were fighting already, and the hall stunk of magic as a result. Magic, and darkness.

Mickey paused when he saw Sora. He mouthed something, urgently, but Sora couldn't make it out. Unfortunately. Mickey was distracted enough that Maleficent nearly hit him with a blast of magic, but he noticed it in time and jumped out of the way. He kicked off the wall, lunged at Maleficent—but she vanished, reappearing at the other end of the hall.

"Your Majesty!" Daisy cried, finally catching up to Sora. "Maleficent's he—oh." She skidded to halt, and then without hesitation called "_Firaga!_"

The spell went straight for Maleficent, but she vanished again before it could hit her.

"Is this the best place to be fighting her?" Daisy asked, looking worriedly at Mickey.

He shrugged. "Well what else are we supposed to do?"

Daisy shrugged back.

Maleficent reappeared, and immediately a torrent of lightning bolts rained down from the sky. Sora rolled forward to dodge, then rushed forward. He jumped into the air, brought his blade down—

Maleficent swung her staff to deflect him. It hit him in the stomach and knocked him backwards and into—

—and into the garden below them.

Sora groaned. He'd landed on one of the hedges, and it was a soft—though scratchy—landing. He'd have a bruise on his stomach, though, where Maleficent had hit him. He slid down the hedge, grimacing as the branches caught on his clothes and his skin. Once on his feet, he tossed up a Cure. It'd fix his wounds, at least, though not so much his clothes. Oh well. He'd needed a change of clothes anyway.

The sound of Maleficent teleporting made him look up from picking twigs off his jacket. She was in the garden. But where?

"Sora!" Mickey called.

Sora looked up, but couldn't see Mickey from this angle. He did, however, see the barrier go up around the garden. He tensed, summoning his Keyblade immediately. He was in the garden. Maleficent was in the garden. No one else could get in. Just the thought sent shivers down his spine.

"What do you want with me!?" Sora shouted, frantically surveying the area.

"Want with you?" Maleficent laughed, and suddenly she was about five feet away from him, walking casually past one of the hedges. "I think you're missing a vital piece of information, boy. _I_ didn't put up the barrier."

Sora frowned at her.

"But… but you knocked me down here," he said.

"An accident."

"And you followed me."

"I was… compelled to," Maleficent explained. Her voice was distant, and she stared at the wall behind Sora, absently. "But… now that I think about it, I suppose this whole ordeal _would _be easier if you were out of the way." She met his eyes, ran her hand over the top of her staff. "After all, you've been nothing but a terrible _inconvenience!_"

She spread her arms wide, the air darkening around her. Something that looked like a piece of the night sky came hurling at him, and Sora brought up his blade to block—

It never hit him.

Something had gotten in the way. _Someone _had gotten in the way, taking the blow themselves. Sora had to blink a few times, not believing what he was seeing.

Maleficent burst out laughing.

"You again, pest?" She smirked. "What do you expect to accomplish here? Wasn't the last time we met enough to prove you're no match for me?"

Sora's Shadow straightened and dusted himself off. He appeared completely unharmed—besides the slight damage to his clothes, anyway.

"Maybe not on my own," he said, sounding _incredibly _pleased. "But this time, I've got a secret weapon." He turned and flashed Sora a smirk.

Sora blinked a few more times, still trying to get over the fact he'd just been saved _by his Shadow._

"M-me?" he asked.

His Shadow rolled his eyes, made a sharp sound in his throat. His hands flopped to his sides and he literally _slumped _with annoyance. "Well I don't see any _other _idiot in this room—well." He paused, smirked, eyes darting over to Maleficent. "Not one I can use anyway."

Maleficent scowled. "Was that a thinly veiled _insult?_"

"Oh, no! It wasn't thinly veiled at all."

"Wait wait wait, wait, _wait._" Sora held up his hands and shook his head. "You're _helping _me?"

His Shadow just laughed. "Helping you? Heh. More like _using _you."

And as Sora watched, his Shadow raised a hand and held it out in front of him, fingers poised much like those of a puppeteer's. He flashed Sora one more grin, before closing his fingers together—like grabbing something—and then pulling _upward._

To Sora's surprise, his body responded to his Shadow's pull. His muscles tensed and he straightened out of his slouch. He stood there for a horrified second before quickly clutching a hand to his chest. Thankfully, his arm did exactly what he wanted it to—though he had felt a slight pull trying to prevent him from moving.

"What the _heck—_"

His words stopped there. His Shadow raised his other hand, clenched it into a fist, and Sora found he couldn't move his tongue. His Shadow forced his arm back to his side, too.

"Sora, this is going to be a _lot _easier for the both of us if you don't resist," his Shadow said, sternly, eyes narrowed in a fierce glare.

Sora swallowed, fear sliding down his throat like ice. Being alone in the garden with Maleficent had been scary, yes, but this was even worse. He could still move his fingers of his own free will, but he didn't dare try any more than that.

And worse still, Maleficent was watching with an incredibly pleased smile on her lips. That scared Sora's almost more than the grip his Shadow had on his body, and the look of angry determination on his Shadow's face.

"Y- y'know," Sora swallowed again, quickly, wanting to get his words out before his Shadow silenced him again. "I'd be perfectly okay with _helping _you fight her—"

"Just shut up and attack!"

Sora's body was pulled forward, Keyblade raised to strike. His muscles were all too tight, though, and his fingers were clasped around the hilt all wrong. His arms swung—but the swing was wrong, too. It was no wonder Maleficent had enough time to dodge and then poof away.

"I'm _really _not okay with you doing this!" Sora shouted, rounding on his Shadow. His Shadow had climbed to the top of the hedges to get a better vantage point, and replied only with annoyance.

"I don't need your permission! And I don't want your opinion, either."

"It's _my_ body—"

"She's over there!"

Sora's body moved—his arms dragging him forward, his feet stumbling to catch up. It was like he was on strings. He tried to resist, but the more he resisted the harder his Shadow pulled and the sicker his stomach felt.

"What your Shadow is failing to mention is that he can't harm me," Maleficent said. She was laughing. _Amused _by all this.

It made Sora's blood boil. He was being used and it was _humiliating. _

"I still don't see how that warrants using me as a _puppet!_" he screamed, digging in his heels, trying to keep his body from moving any further under his Shadow's will.

"I said _shut up!_" his Shadow called back.

And Sora's arms wrenched him forward, his legs picking up off the ground against his will. He ran forward and managed to hit Maleficent one, _two _times, despite Sora trying to resist and force his arms to _stop moving, _along with how tight and _jarring _all his movements were.

"I just need some light!" Sora's Shadow explained, tugging Sora backwards and out of the way of Maleficent's staff. Of course, he tugged too hard and Sora's body _flew _backwards, nearly landing in one of the hedges. Again. "Just a little bit of it! A little bit of you. I'm too dark to—"

"Lies!" Maleficent cried, and she laughed again. And it wasn't just laughter, she was full out _cackling, _clearly enjoying this. "He's not too dark—he's too _weak!_"

"No one asked you!" Sora's Shadow roared. His anger shook in Sora's bones, and Sora found his body lurched forward again, taking another—_angrier—_swing at Maleficent. It missed.

"Quit it!" Sora dug in his heels again and then _banished _his Keyblade. It was lucky Maleficent was too amused by the situation to turn this moment of defenselessness against him. He rounded on his Shadow, _shouted _so he could be heard. "I _won't do this! _It is _my _body and you aren't going to _pull _it around like some—"

His mouth snapped shut, then, against his will. Even though they were nearly on two separate sides of the garden, Sora could still see the fury on his Shadow's face. In fact, he could _feel _it in his blood, _feel _it in how tightly his Shadow was holding his body under this spell.

His Shadow forced him to reach out, close his hand into a fist—the motions of summoning his Keyblade back. But no Keyblade came. Sora hadn't _willed _it too and, after all, magic was always a matter of will and not of motions.

"Summon your Keyblade again!" his Shadow ordered.

"No," Sora replied.

Relief flooded through him. So his Shadow _couldn't _force him to summon it back. Of course, that left him completely defenseless against Maleficent, but if she tried anything he supposed he could throw magic at her. It wasn't like he was _terrible _at magic.

"Summon it!" His Shadow was moving towards him, now, closing the distance between them, rage shaking his every step.

"_No_," Sora said again.

His Shadow was in his face, now, eyes narrowed in a furious glare, mouth contorted. Sora held his ground, trying to look determined—though showing _any_ emotion besides the potent fear he was feeling would be just fine. His Shadow's shoulder shook, a little, and he turned away, just slightly.

"_Fine_," he hissed. "Then I'll make you wrap your pretty little hands around her neck and _choke the life out of her._" He looked back at Sora, then, eyes blazing._ "_One way or another Sora, you will kill her for me. And if you want to go into it bare-handed, then fine. It's not my problem."

Sora bit his tongue. That didn't sound very pleasant.

"Why have him choke the life out of me when you can cast him into darkness?" Maleficent asked, coming to his rescue. Sora couldn't turn to look at her, but she was somewhere behind him and slightly to his left, from the sounds of it. And she also sounded incredibly pleased—though there was an edge in her voice. "I don't know when a better opportunity will ever arise—he's weaponless, held immobile by your spell. So _do it_."

"No!" Sora's Shadow turned to glare at her. "He's my only means of killing you! Maybe after you're dead, I will. But you won't be alive to see it. You don't deserve that satisfaction."

"Pah! Words of a coward! You won't do it because you simply don't have the guts." She paused for a moment, and then continued with a sick satisfaction: "You won't do it because you're _tainted._"

The fury that flashed across Sora's Shadow's face was incredible, and painful. Sora grimaced a little, confused. Tainted? What did _that _mean?

"I'm not tainted!" Sora's Shadow screamed. Clearly, whatever it meant, it wasn't good.

"Then prove it!" Maleficent said.

"I DON'T NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING TO YOU!"

Spit flew from his Shadow's mouth and hit Sora in the face. Sora crinkled his nose with disgust. Unfortunately, he couldn't move to wipe it away.

"Fine. I'll do it myself."

Sora's heart hammered in his chest. He couldn't move, and Maleficent was preparing to throw enough darkness at him to drown him. He could feel her summoning it.

Before she could, his body was simultaneously thrown to the ground and shoved to the side. His Shadow had moved to block blow. Again.

"No!" he shouted. "He is _mine! My _job! Not yours."

"Then do it and get it over wi—"

A flood of light filled the area, and Sora squeezed his eyes shut. The light was followed by something like the sound of shattering glass, though it tinkled less than glass would and rumbled in his bones.

"I'm afraid Sora's not goin' anywhere today," Mickey said.

Sora pushed himself upright, and was very much relieved to find he'd regained control of his body. The barriers around the area had vanished—and Mickey stood not far from him, Keyblade bared. Sora's Shadow was on the ground, cursing up a storm, and Maleficent was recovering, muttering something foul under her breath.

Healing energy surged through Sora, then, and he straightened further to see Daisy rushing in, hiking up her skirts so she could move faster. "_Thundaga!_" she called, and a rain of lightning bolts crashed down around Maleficent.

"You okay, Sora?" Mickey asked, reaching out a hand to help him up.

"_NO!_" Sora's Shadow screamed. Both Sora and Mickey turned to him, surprised. He was clutching at the grass, but as he kept shouting he pushed himself up. "I won't let you ruin this!" He glared at Mickey. "I didn't come here to plunge Sora into darkness. I came here to _kill her!_"

He waved his hands in Maleficent's direction.

"And I'd be happy to let you do that," Mickey said. "If it didn't require harming Sora."

"Please." Sora's Shadow's eyes narrowed, and Sora flinched a little, knowing that look and tone of voice. "Like you can stop me."

Sora prepared for the tug on his heart and body again, but was surprised when his Shadow threw himself at him, instead. He scrambled backwards but his Shadow still hit him. Went right through him.

Sora blinked a few times, and turned to look behind him. Nope. No Shadow there. But then where had he…?

Something like fire shot through his veins, accompanied by a pounding in his mind and in his heart. He bent over double, clawing at his chest. He knew what this was—he hadn't felt like this since Ansem, though, and that had been _bearable. _This was painful. Disgusting.

"Get out of my body!" Sora screamed.

"Just give me five minutes!" was his Shadow's reply, and the words left Sora's mouth.

Sora clutched at the grass beneath him, touching his head against the ground, his face scrunched up as it tried to display two different expressions—one his, one his Shadow's.

Unlike being used as a puppet, his body wasn't _urged _or even _made _to do something he didn't want it to. His body responded naturally to his Shadow, as if it _was _his Shadow's. Of course, it was responding both to his Shadow's will and his own, _at the same time, _so it only resulted in a lot of pain. For the both of them. Eventually one of their wills would win out, but for the life of him, Sora couldn't remember how to make sure it was _his._

It wasn't like he'd kept Ansem from using his body like this, anyway…

"Sora…?" Mickey asked.

"We're fine!"

The words left Sora's mouth but they weren't his. He quickly protested.

"We are not fine! I am not fine! He is a filthy liar and—"

His words cut off as his mouth closed. His Shadow obviously didn't want him to finish.

"Are you guys going to help me or am I going to have to fight Maleficent on my own?" Daisy called. Sora focused on her voice, on the sound of her spell casting. On the sound of Maleficent's slight chuckle. He needed to stay grounded. Needed to stay in control.

"_Work _with me, Sora!" his Shadow shouted.

Sora gagged. This whole struggle was starting to make him feel sick.

"I think I'd prefer being pulled around like a puppet," he muttered.

"No you wouldn't."

Sora wasn't sure if his Shadow was right, but he didn't have the strength to protest. It all _felt _much worse: the gross feeling of having someone else control his body was amplified, plus the pain, and the extra set of thoughts pounding at the back of his head that he couldn't make sense of unless he focused but couldn't shut out either.

Then again, at least, here… he could relax. He didn't _have _to be in control. Didn't _have _to focus on how his body moved against his will. He didn't have to be conscious. If he wanted to, he could just… close his eyes. Let his Shadow have the control… just for right now.

It wasn't like his Shadow could keep this up for _too _long, anyway. At least, that's what his Shadow was thinking. Was worried about. He was afraid he wouldn't have enough time to finish Maleficent and…

What could it hurt for just a few minutes? Struggling was too much work, anyway.

So Sora relinquished control.

It wasn't like giving up control meant he had to be completely unaware of his surroundings or anything. He could still _feel_ what was going on, could still _hear _it, still _see _it_. _And if he had to, he was sure he would be able to snatch control back long enough to keep his Shadow from doing anything stupid.

Since he could still feel his surroundings, Sora still very clearly felt the steel of Mickey's Keyblade being pressed to the back of his neck. Sora felt his body go rigid with… not fear. No, his Shadow wasn't exactly afraid.

"Get out of him."

Mickey's voice was threatening, but it wavered, just a little.

"What are you gonna do if I don't?" Sora's Shadow asked, through Sora's mouth. He smirked, too. "You don't want to hurt Sora, after all."

"I think I could manage without harming Sora," Mickey replied.

Sora felt his eyes go wide, then, followed this time by fear. Now his Shadow _was_ afraid. There was a word accompanying the fear, too.

_Light._

And then a memory. Being pinned to the wall. Light flooding through him, _downing _him. But it wasn't the light he was afraid of.

_I'm not tainted!_

The memory—memories?—left as quickly as it had come. Sora's Shadow put on a straight face, pushed Mickey's blade away, getting to his feet.

"Just let me kill Maleficent," he said. "Then you can have him back."

_Liar, _Sora thought, smiling. _You're going to end up give me my body back whether you want to or not, and you know it._

Even when he wasn't in control, he could feel his Shadow's presence pounding against his skin, wanting to be released. This couldn't last long, and they both knew it.

Maleficent laughed, deflecting Daisy's spell with her hand.

"Are you _really _going to go to such great lengths to make sure I die by your hand?" she called.

"You've _humiliated _me!" Sora's Shadow rounded on her, screaming. His anger was so strong, so potent, that Sora was practically choking on it. "You called me _scum—_said I was incapable of doing my job and you think I'd let you _get away with it?_" He laughed, bitterly, and the sound of it made Sora want to squirm. He didn't like that sound coming out of his mouth. Didn't like how the laugh felt in his throat.

"Because I won't!" Sora's Shadow shouted, and he summoned his Keyblade—it was _his _Keyblade, not Sora's—and took a running leap at Maleficent.

"So be it!" Maleficent laughed.

A wall of green flame went up around them both, separating them from Mickey and Daisy.


	213. Stressful Battle

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter! And if you don't celebrate Easter, I hope you had a wonderful weekend regardless! (There were at least three other things _besides _Easter going on yesterday, after all)

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><p>It felt like his Shadow was going to rip right out of his skin at any second. Sora would've gritted his teeth, had he had full control of his body. But his Shadow had that, or, most of it.<p>

His Shadow flung them at Maleficent, swiping with his blade—he swung his blade with only one hand, which felt weird to Sora. He was used to dealing two-handed blows.

Maleficent sent a blast of fire at them as they jumped back. Sora's Shadow made sure they rolled out of the way.

Sora heard the sound of barriers going up. That couldn't be good. Maleficent already had barriers up! Where'd the second set come from?

"Relax," his Shadow told him. Strangely, he spoke out loud instead of silently. Sora was sure they could communicate silently if they wanted to… "That one's good."

_You set it up?_ Sora asked.

"No, a friend of mine did," his Shadow answered, running in to get another swipe at Maleficent.

That statement was accompanied by a flicker of images and snippets of conversation. It was all too much to put into words, but Sora understood their meaning just fine.

"You're working with _Hades!?_" he exclaimed, the shock forcing the words out of his mouth.

Sora's Shadow paused and moved backwards so they were out of Maleficent's immediate range. He shot an annoyed look to the side, as if trying to glare at Sora. "Did you _have _to say that out loud?"

"Why? Hades doesn't want anyone to know he's a part of this?"

"Well—"

"Hades?" Maleficent asked, sounding a little surprised. "But I—oh. I see." Her eyes narrowed. "This is a betrayal."

"More like we were kind of always intending to kill you," Sora's Shadow called, with a laugh.

"Hmph." Maleficent raised her staff. "Even with help you won't succeed!"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that!"

They rushed in and landed one… two quick strikes while Maleficent was preparing her next attack. She didn't seem too fazed by the blows, but Sora had a feeling she just wasn't showing it.

The sky darkened behind her, and from the darkness shot various meteors. Sora's Shadow didn't bother to move out of the way, and they were knocked back against the barrier. Thankfully, despite being made of fire, the _barrier _didn't hurt them. The meteor attack, however…

_What the heck!? _Sora asked.

His Shadow scrunched his face up in pain, but didn't answer. Sora didn't need him to. He knew that his Shadow had forgotten what attacks _could _hurt him now that he was using Sora's body.

_Potions, _Sora said. _In my pocket. I think I have a few on me._ _I should…._

His Shadow didn't respond. Just groaned.

Sora quickly reached into his pocket to dig for a potion. He didn't dare try and move any further, unsure of how much control of his body he had. Just the movement of digging in his pocket made his head spin a little. His Shadow's presence pounded under his skin, clamoring as if to be released, even though Sora wasn't holding it there. Sora wondered if he should try and force his Shadow out, but decided against it. At least for right now…

He raised the bottle to his lips and forced himself to drink, grateful his Shadow didn't stop him.

_Damn… _his Shadow said, silently. _That hurt._

_ No duh, _Sora told him. _Now get up before she—_

His thought was cut off by a flood of images. Memories. Fears. He was vaguely aware of his body being pulled to its feet and his Shadow charging at Maleficent, but he was too curious about the memories to pay the battle much attention.

_"I want Sora back!"_

_ "I'm his Shadow and you're doing _my job_!"_

It was anger—desperation—pulsing through his veins. Sharpened by every dealt blow. Strengthened by every hit taken. Maleficent had humiliated his Shadow, and Sora couldn't have felt it anymore strongly. It was embarrassing. It was disgusting.

_"Do you think I cannot sense how you've been tainted?"_

_ "I'm- I- I'm not! I'm not I—"_

He'd been so scared.

He _couldn't _be tainted.

But he—

"Hey, Sora!"

His Shadow's voice—well, _his_ voice, since it was coming from his mouth—grounded him.

"You don't mind keeping the whole working-with-Hades thing hush hush do you? Hades doesn't want Mickey knowing."

Sora didn't even need to ask why. He knew Hades didn't want to make Mickey angry. _He _wouldn't want to make Mickey angry! Who would?

_You, uh, don't think he's already heard, do you?_ Sora asked.

"Through two barriers? I doubt he did. Probably." His Shadow grimaced, but whether that was due to his uncertainty or due to the fact he was dodging the Thunder raining from the sky Sora wasn't sure.

"I hope he didn't hear," Sora's Shadow said, after a moment. He sidestepped another Thunder bolt and charged at Maleficent. "Hades would kill me. Well—"

He didn't finish that out loud, but Sora still heard him.

_If he can kill me._

Sora felt very uneasy. He was too in sync with his Shadow right now to not see the memories.

_"Cut it out! It's obviously not working!"_

Light. Excruciating pain.

_"Why am I still alive!? That should've killed me!"_

If his Shadow couldn't die…

"Then again," his Shadow said. They swung at Maleficent. Dodged one blast of fire. Blocked another. Swung again. "I suppose it would get me out of fighting Hercules—if Mickey were to find out. If anything, Hades will be too mad at me to—"

_What do you mean you can't die!? _Sora demanded.

His Shadow stopped dead in his tracks.

"I—not now. It's distracting."

_But—_

"We need to kill Maleficent!"

_You mean _you_ need to kill her…_

"Well- yeah, but- but that's hard to do when you're poking ar—"

"Watch out!" Sora shouted, and without waiting for his Shadow to respond, he raised the Keyblade up to block a blast of magic. They blocked the spell just fine, but by taking control of his body again, his Shadow was almost flung right out of it.

Their forms flickered on top of each other, the Keyblade morphing between Sora's then his Shadow's again and again. It was agonizing—something was trying to force his Shadow out of his body, but his Shadow was clinging to stay put.

"No no don't do _that!_" his Shadow screamed. The words came out from two different sources. Sora's body. His Shadow's not-entirely-corporeal body. "I need more control or I won't be able to stay in here at all!"

"Excuse me for saving your butt!" Sora replied, relinquishing control, but just a little. Just enough for his Shadow to get an anchor, but he still had enough control to shove his Shadow out any second, and both he and his Shadow could feel it.

It was a threat. Leverage. His Shadow wanted to use his body. Sora had a say on whether or not that happened.

"We can fight her together, you know," he said, quietly.

"I can't hurt her," his Shadow replied.

"Then let me—"

"_I want to do this!_"

Sora could feel the desperation. The pain, the bitterness. His Shadow wanted revenge. He wanted revenge and Sora knew exactly why.

But.

"It's not going to prove anything," Sora told him, gently.

His Shadow swallowed, and he hesitated. He hesitated for a while. Nervous. Trembling.

"You can't deny Maleficent dying isn't a bad thing," he said, finally.

"…no," Sora admitted. He couldn't. The worlds were better off without Maleficent. He only wished there was another way. Well, there was, of course. He could tell his Shadow no, force him out of his body. But there was no telling what would happen next…

His Shadow wanted Maleficent dead, and wanted to kill her himself. He could only do that through Sora. And either he'd try and put himself in Sora's body again—and be much more forceful about it—or he'd go back to dragging Sora around like a puppet.

Sora'd much prefer not being dragged around like a puppet, so he relinquished control again. Let his Shadow back in.

His Shadow charged at Maleficent right away, and Sora did his best not to interfere. He focused his thoughts inward. They were in sync, he and his Shadow. The lines between their minds and their hearts blurred.

His Shadow was like an open book. All his thoughts and memories on display for Sora. More than that, Sora could _feel _them without even looking. And…

And there was something bubbling. Quiet, but bubbling, deep in his Shadow's heart. A string of emotions and thoughts all knotted together. It was… distressing to think about. Something about it made Sora's stomach churn and his skin burn. He wanted to claw at his face until it came off and—

"Sora!" His Shadow shouted. "Focus! _Please._"

There was a slight crack in his voice.

Sora ignored it and tried to focus his attention on the battle. He didn't want to think about the knot of emotions, anyway. He could still feel them, but he didn't have to pay attention to them.

_You aren't gonna get… stuck in here… right? _Sora asked, slowly.

It seemed stupid, seeing as his Shadow's essence or whatever it was still was beating against his skin for release. But how connected their hearts were made Sora worried. He could hardly distinguish his own emotions from his Shadow's anymore.

His Shadow chuckled. "Get real. You can feel how much I want out of here, don't you?"

Sora didn't respond. He wasn't sure how to. His body and his heart were telling him two different things, and all it did was make his stomach flip flop.

Either way, they needed to start getting serious about Maleficent.

**_xXx_**

"Mickey?"

He paused, pulling his Keyblade away from the barrier. There was a slight dent in the barrier, which was good, but it was going to take a lot more to break through. He turned to look at Minnie, who'd called his name.

He flashed her a small smile. "D'ya think you could lend me a hand?"

"Why does it need to come down?" Minnie asked, moving so she was beside him.

"Well Sora and his Shadow are fightin' Maleficent and Sora's Shadow has _possessed _Sora and he's really intent on killin' Maleficent which would be fine I guess except he's _in Sora's body _and I don't want him hurtin' Sora—"

Minnie nodded, putting her hand on the barrier. "Is it just this one?" she asked.

"Maleficent's got flames around them, too, but those shouldn't be too hard to get rid of…"

"He's going to wear himself out," Daisy said. Minnie turned to look at her, and Mickey slowly did, too, grimacing a little in embarrassment. "No offense," Daisy added, directing her words at Mickey. "But you already took down the barrier around the garden earlier."

"Well, yeah," Mickey admitted. "But that's why I wanted some help…"

He sent a glance over at Minnie, and after a moment she met his gaze. She looked at him for a long while, and then turned her attention to the barrier. After a moment, she slowly pulled her hand away from it.

"Shouldn't the barriers go down once Maleficent's gone?" she asked.

"Yeah," Mickey answered, frowning a little. "But we gotta help out!"

"I think Sora can take care of himself," Minnie told him. "And between him and his Shadow they should be able to take care of Maleficent." She smiled, reassuringly. "I know you want to help Sora, but there's only so much helping one Mouse can do."

Mickey swallowed. He supposed she was right. And what if Sora didn't want his help? He was sure Sora's Shadow certainly didn't. Maybe it was for the better…

But…

"…but is killin' her really the best way?" he murmured.

He could hear Minnie take a breath to say something, but then she never did. She stayed silent, for a long while, too. But then she put a hand on his shoulder, and sighed.

"Unfortunately, Mickey," Minnie said. "Something has to be done about her. She's threatened the safety of this castle _and _this world."

"But are ya _sure _killin' her is the best way?"

Minnie shook her head. "We may not have a choice. Nothing else we've tried against her has worked for very long. And if Sora's Shadow is so set on killing her…" She paused again. Sighed again. "We may not be able to stop him."

Mickey put his hand on the barrier, trailing his fingers over the dent he'd made, and he let out a long breath.

Finally, he said, in a whisper:

"Maybe if we can just get this one down… And then put up one of our own. So if something goes wrong we can help right away."

Minnie placed her hand next to his.

"Alright."


	214. Battle's Over, Another Begins

I have nothing to say, really, except that this chapter marks the official beginning of endgame. And, from the looks of things, Dead Inside will definitely be under 250 chapters. I'm writing 222 right now and only have about five plot points to cover until the final boss.

It's actually really exciting!

* * *

><p>Sora's Shadow skidded to a halt and shielded his eyes as the outer barrier went down. It shattered just like the one from earlier did, and its shattering jostled Sora's bones. Sora's Shadow swore, and Sora grimaced, not liking how the words felt on his tongue.<p>

The barrier hadn't been down four seconds before another went up.

_It's Mickey's, _Sora said, without hesitation. He could _feel _it was Mickey's. _I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Just relax and focus on Maleficent! We've almost got her!_

Maleficent's spell casting had become more frantic, and less accurate, as she tried finish them off before they could finish her. Fortunately, Sora wasn't tired, nor much wounded. At this rate, Maleficent wouldn't last much longer.

They ran at her again, but only got two steps. Sora's Shadow was flung out of Sora's body, and the force of it sent both of them flying. Sora skidded backwards a few yards, while his Shadow rolled and tumbled and nearly hit the barrier.

Sora pushed himself up, and gagged. His Shadow's stay in his body had lasted too long, and now Sora just felt woozy. And like he was going to lose his lunch. He tried to control his rebelling stomach, but he felt sick all over. His skin crawled. There was bile in his throat. And there was a pounding in his head that felt like it was going to beat his brains out.

Maleficent cackled, and Sora clutched the grass to anchor himself. He had to get up and fight. He had to get up and fight.

"How will you finish me off, now?" Maleficent asked. "Neither of you look in good enough shape to move." Despite her gloating tone, she struggled to get her words out. They were on opposite ends of the battlefield, and still Sora could hear her ragged breathing.

He turned to look at her, to prepare himself for when she inevitably came over to attack him, except she was heading towards his Shadow.

"I should've finished you off when I last saw you," Maleficent sneered, pinning Sora's Shadow to the ground with her staff. He cried out, and Sora cringed in sympathy. "But I guess it won't hurt to do it now. And once you're gone, I can take Sora back—"

"_NO!_"

Sora felt more than saw what happened next. Felt the fury. _Felt _his Shadow get to his feet and _felt _the darkness explode from him. When the blast cleared, Maleficent was gone, and then the barriers went down.

"I thought you couldn't hurt her…" Sora said, glaring at his Shadow.

His Shadow had collapsed onto his back, and squinted his eyes up at the sky. "Hell if I know," he muttered.

Sora started to pester, but then his stomach flipped again. He turned and promptly lost his lunch by one of the hedges.

"Curaga!" Daisy called. The healing energy flooded his veins, for which Sora was grateful. Unfortunately, it didn't do anything for his stomach, and he puked again.

"Sorry," he mumbled, wiping his mouth. No one appeared to hear him.

"Are you okay?" Minnie asked.

Sora looked up, but she wasn't asking him. She was asking his Shadow. Sora scrambled into a more upright position. That was a bad idea. His Shadow wasn't in a good mood—Sora'd been too busy puking to notice it ten seconds ago, but now he did. Their hearts were still connected, and Sora could feel how upset his Shadow was, even though he wasn't sure _why _his Shadow was so upset.

"I wouldn't do that—" he warned, but his Shadow vanished the moment the words left his mouth. "Oh," he sighed.

Now that his Shadow had left, Sora couldn't feel his emotions quite as clearly. They were still there, but they were noticeably weaker.

Minnie opened her mouth to say something, but didn't get the chance.

"Your Majesty!" came the unmistakable voice of Donald.

"Yer Majesty!" and there was Goofy. "We fixed it!"

"Yeah! Everything's solved!"

The two came bursting into the Garden, and Donald nearly mowed over a hedge in his excitement.

"What's solved?" Mickey asked, looking between the two of them.

"The problem with the Cornerstone!" Donald explains.

"Oh but, there's a magic door you need to come lock," Goofy said. "Then it'll be solved!"

"Huh?"

"We'll explain on the way!" Donald said, already taking off. "Hurry!"

"I'll look after Sora!" Minnie said, when Mickey turned back to look at her. "Go go!"

Mickey didn't hesitate a second more.

"I'm okay," Sora said, before Minnie could start fussing over him. "Really. Just a little shaken up, that's all." He pushed himself upright, and dusted himself off.

"Oh!" he could hear Goofy say. "D'ya think someone should go untie Pete?"

There was a pause.

"Did we leave him tied up?" Donald asked.

"I think we did…"

Sora chuckled a little at that. Maybe later he'd have to ask them what happened…

Something nudged him in the side, almost impatiently. He turned to see what it was, and nearly laughed when he found one of the enchanted brooms. It was carrying a sloshing bucket of water, and was angrily trying to sweep him to the side. It probably was here to clean up the, uh, _mess _he'd made.

"Sorry," Sora told it, moving. It, of course, didn't respond.

**_xXx_**

Namine sighed, set her blue pencil down, then took a good long moment deciding what color she wanted to do next. Riku was in Hollow Bastion—he'd wanted to return Aerith's book, seeing as he'd finished it. He said he wasn't going to be gone long, but Namine knew better.

It was fine, though. She hadn't exactly wanted to go with. She'd prefer not to be distracted while she was working on this picture.

Then again, if she hadn't wanted to be disrupted, maybe sitting in the Main Room had been a bad idea. Joseph and Toby were chasing each other around the room like normal—they'd leave down one of the hallways, but they'd always be back eventually. And, of course, in the usual silence of the Castle, almost _every _noise was distracting. She supposed she could move to her bedroom, but then she'd have to pack up her pencils to move them and…

…and that was a dark corridor.

She looked up, half expecting Riku, and was very surprised to see Xigbar.

"You!" he called, pointing a gun in Namine's general direction. She had a feeling he wasn't aiming _to shoot,_ but it got the point across.

Namine swallowed. Swallowed again. Riku. She had to get to Riku.

She started to form a dark corridor—a bullet clipped her shoulder. She yelped in surprise, and pain. Xigbar simply reloaded his gun, took a few steps closer to her.

"I have orders to bring you in! Preferably unharmed." He paused, smirked. "We can make a couple exceptions, though. No one will know."

"I will!" Joseph cried. With surprising agility, he launched himself over the couch and landed nimbly in front of Namine.

Xigbar just clucked his tongue. "It'd be a shame if you got hurt, squirt!" he called. "So step out of the way!"

"No!"

"J-Joseph-" Namine croaked. Her heart pounded in her ears. Her hands were shaking so much she had to put her pencil down. "Step- step aside."

She couldn't have _him_ getting hurt. Not because of her.

"No way!" Joseph shot her a look, _appalled_. "Riku'd kill me!"

"No he wouldn't," Namine replied, automatically. She swallowed again, trying to breathe deeply (it came out more in gasps). Terror was squeezing her heart and it was hard to think.

At least, she knew one thing: she couldn't run now without risking Joseph.

"What do you need her for!?" Alpha shouted, rushing over. "You already have Vexen!"

"And what if we need Namine, too?" Xigbar asked. "Is it _really _a tragedy?"

"You aren't getting her," Alpha said, and he summoned his lexicon. Joseph nodded firmly and took something of fighting stance.

It was all happening too fast. Namine could hardly find air to fill her lungs.

Xigbar rolled his head in an exaggerated eye roll. "_Greaaat_, now I've got you _and _the squirt to deal with!"

"And me!" That was 29, bustling over until he was between Joseph and Xigbar. He sent a look over his shoulder at the boy. "Joseph—"

"I'm not moving."

"Well… why don't you get Namine out of here?" 29 said, lowering his voice.

He shouldn't have bothered. Xigbar heard him, and immediately straightened.

"Now that!" he said. "I can't have you do that!" He aimed his gun straight at Joseph. "Don't take a step towards her or I shoot."

"I wouldn't if I were you." 29 took a step forward, further shielding Joseph.

"If you don't want your boy gettin' hurt, then you best keep him out of harm's way!"

29 turned to Joseph.

"Joseph, please—"

"I said I'm not moving!"

Namine closed her eyes shut, trying to focus. She didn't want Joseph to get hurt. She didn't want _any _of them to get hurt. She couldn't run. She couldn't stay.

_This has to end._

The thought surprised her, but then it didn't. She was tired of this. They were sitting ducks here in Castle Oblivion. Now that the Organization had Vexen, it was only a matter of time before Xemnas decided to just get rid of them all. And since no one wanted to get Vexen…

…but everyone wanted to protect _her._

It was obvious.

She got to her feet. "No, you're not moving," she said, pushing past Joseph, then 29. "But I am." She tried to look Xigbar in the eye—found she didn't have the courage too. Oh well. She was standing here. That was enough.

"Ohhh! So I _am_ gonna get this done without a hitch!" Xigbar laughed.

Joseph grabbed her arm. "Namine, no!" he shouted. "You can't go with him!"

She pushed him off—though his grip was tight—and kept her attention on Xigbar.

"You- you won't hurt them, right?" she asked. "If- if I go with you."

"Didn't plan on hurting anyone unless it was necessary," Xigbar said.

Namine nodded. Took a deep breath. Stepped forward—

"Namine!" Alpha shouted after her. "Please! Riku will _kill _us if he finds out we let you do this!"

Namine shook her head. They were wrong about that, so _wrong. _Riku might get angry, might yell, yes, but killing any of _them _was an exaggeration. He'd only kill Xigbar, and the rest of the Organization while he was at it.

And then it would all be over.

"Namine you _can't!_" and now Alpha was blocking her, gripping her forearm tightly. He leaned closer and hissed in her ear: "They are going to Rewrite you and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't have a copy of your file. A copy of your file _doesn't exist yet _and it's not like I can just grab it before they edit it. I mean it's _possible _but there is no guarantee." He paused. Swallowed. "We won't be able to fix you."

Namine was trembling, now, and she dug her teeth into her lip. She shouldn't go. She didn't want to go. She had to go.

But the risks…

But the risks of _staying._

"I- I'm… but-" She broke off, not sure what she was trying to say. She swallowed. Tried to continue without her voice cracking. "It's going- going to take them, what? T-two hours? At _least_, right?"

"I'd give them two hours at _most._"

That didn't help her nerves. Two hours and she'd be Rewritten, unless Riku could get to her before then.

She took a shuddering breath. Tried to laugh it off.

"Well, how long can it _really _take for Riku to rescue me? Not- not long, right?"

She said it more for her sake than for Alpha's.

She had to do this.

"I don't know—and are you _really _willing to risk the alternative?" She'd never heard Alpha so frustrated before. Well, frustrated, yes, but not like _this. _This was a different kind of frustration. This was a scared kind of frustration.

"Well—"

"Because if Riku _doesn't _get to you in time!"

He didn't finish. He didn't need to.

_They'll rewrite me…. _Namine finished for him, silently. _And there's no going back…_

She swallowed yet again. _Gulped,_ really.

"I know," she said, and she stepped forward and into Xigbar's reach.

Alpha didn't try to pull her back, though Joseph shouted. Xigbar said something about how easy this had been, along with something else, but she hardly heard him.

Her heart was hammering.

She'd just signed her life away on the slim chance her debtors would die before they could claim their pay.

It was a risky gamble, and one she wasn't sure if she was going to win, either.


	215. What if

Nothing much to say, but friendly reminder that ch103 is technically AU

* * *

><p>"How'd he—<em>they <em>even know where Namine was?" 29 asked, banishing his shield. "And, more importantly, how did they know Riku wasn't here?"

Alpha was silent for a long moment. Then he cleared his throat, nervously.

"The, ah, surveillance cameras between here and the World that Never Was are, ah, linked," he said, closing his eyes for a moment. "And even then, it's not like we have someone sitting in our surveillance room 24/7. Someone could've easily stopped by and checked and…." he trailed off, knowing that everyone would understand the implied meaning of the unfinished sentence.

"Are you tellin' me _anyone _could've waltzed in at _any _time and just watched _everything _we did?" Joseph asked. His voice was raised with frustration, and he shook an angry fist at Alpha's direction. Alpha flinched away from it. "It's no wonder they got Vexen!"

"I… I know," Alpha said, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. "I knew the surveillance cameras were something of an issue, but I never bothered to deal with it. Though I doubt they used it to their advantage before now, anyway…"

"Maybe they weren't desperate enough too," 29 said. "They can't have been, or they would've sent Xigbar sooner."

"There is that," Alpha admitted.

"Well we should stop worrying about that!" Joseph blurted, a little suddenly. "I'm sorry I asked—we need to tell Riku. Right now. Give him a—there isn't time to explain." He ran off. "Toby! Toby? We're goin' somewhere!"

"Joseph!" 29 called after him. "_Joseph! _You are _not _going after Namine!"

"Wasn't planning on it!" Joseph called back—or he called _something _like that back. He was far enough away it was hard to hear him properly. "Just gonna tell Riku! Toby? Toby _c'mon_!"

29 groaned.

"Maybe you should go after him…" Alpha said, chuckling a little.

"Maybe…"

**_xXx_**

"I, uh, came to return the book I borrowed," Riku said, with a slight cough. He'd corridored straight into Aerith's living room again. No one seemed to mind much, which was a good thing, at least.

"You finish it?" Aerith asked, looking up from the book she was paging through. Based on the size and shape of it, it wasn't a novel. When Riku nodded, Aerith continued with: "Did you like it?"

He nodded again, absently, his eyes shifting around the room. Yuffie, Cid, and Leon were all missing, but Cloud and Tifa were visible in the dining room, discussing something in hushed tones. And… _Kairi _was sitting on the couch opposite Aerith.

"Kairi!?" He regretted saying it immediately, but the word had just tumbled from his mouth.

She turned and raised her eyebrows at him. He wasn't sure if she was faintly amused or faintly _annoyed. _"Yes," she said. "Hi. Nice to see you."

Riku swallowed. "….hi."

Kairi said nothing more, and Aerith had returned to her book, flipping through the pages as she muttered to herself.

"H-how've you been?" Riku asked. He coughed again, though he supposed it made him sound more nervous than actually covering it up.

"Good," Kairi said. She shrugged. "No sign of Sora, though. How 'bout you?"

"Good," Riku replied. It wasn't…. exactly the truth. But getting into everything that was going on with the Rebellion right now would be too complicated. And he wasn't sure how to describe the uneasy feeling in his gut, either. Not that it mattered. He was here to return the book.

Ah, but first:

"How have you guys been, Aerith?" Riku asked.

"Hmm? Oh. Good." Aerith seemed rather distracted, but Riku didn't bother asking what she was doing. "Cloud and Tifa are here, so that's nice. Leon's on rounds. Yuffie's asleep. Cid's working on that… boomerang for Joseph. We're all good." She nodded, waved over at the bookshelf. "You're welcome to pick out another book if you'd like. I have no problem. Just try not to lose it…" And her attention was back at her book.

"I'll try my best," Riku said, moving over to the bookshelf. He ended up sitting down in front of it, seeing as all the novels were near the bottom and he'd have to bend over to see them anyway. He returned the book he'd borrowed to its place, and then started running his fingers over the spines of the rest of the books, hoping for a title to jump out at him. None did.

"Whatcha lookin' for?" Kairi asked, plopping down on the floor next to him.

Riku looked over her, surprised. He hadn't expected her come help him. Though he supposed he didn't mind... Despite how little he'd seen of her lately, she _was _his friend. He shrugged, and after a second's searching pulled out one of the dragon books he'd read a week or so ago.

"Uh, something like this?" He handed the book to Kairi.

She considered it for a moment, then flipped it over to look at the back cover. "Mm… I don't think I've read this."

"You should," Riku said, without hesitation.

"Ah, maybe another time…" Kairi frowned at the book. "It sounds good but. Aerith?" She turned her attention to the couch. "Y'mind if I borrow a book?"

"How much are you going to be traveling with it?" Aerith responded.

"I dunno." Kairi stared at Aerith a moment more, then sighed and returned her attention to the book. "I guess just remind me. When this is over." She handed the book back to Riku. He put it back on the shelf.

"Now… let's see if I recognize any of these books…" Kairi muttered, batting Riku's hands away so she could look over the titles. Riku leaned back so she had better access to the bookshelf.

"Where's Namine, anyway?" Kairi asked, after a moment, still scanning the shelf.

"Still in Castle Oblivion," Riku said. "She didn't want to be disrupted. She's apparently working on something big or, uh, something. Said if she got up and moved she'd lose her groove. But it's not like I plan on staying long, so—"

"'Groove'?" Kairi laughed. He sent her a confused look, but she didn't turn to see it. "Now _there's _ a word I never thought I'd hear you use."

"What do you mean?" Riku demanded, a little offended.

"It's awfully casual, that's all." Kairi laughed again. "You've always been so… specific about things. I assumed it come with being a Replica."

"Not- not always." Riku rolled his eyes. "Besides, it's Namine's word, not mine."

"And that only further proves my point!"

Riku opened his mouth to protest, but couldn't think of what to say. Kairi didn't give him time to consider anything, either.

"Ooh!" she exclaimed, pulling a book off the shelf. She nearly elbowed him in the nose in doing so. "Ooh I love this book! You should definitely read it!" She thrust it into Riku's hands and then sat back down, looking expectantly at him.

Riku turned the book over, skimming the back cover. It… sounded fairly interesting, he supposed. But…

"It's about a girl…" he said, slowly.

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Aaand? That dragon book you showed me was about a girl!"

She had him there.

"Alright, yeah."

"Just look at it, at least."

"I said I wou—"

A dark corridor opened. Joseph burst through, screaming as he did so:

"RIKU NAMINE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED!"

The room stopped. Riku's _heart _stopped. The book dropped from his hands and he jumped to his feet. He nearly stepped on Kairi, but he didn't notice. His attention was only on Joseph. With how tight his throat was, it was a surprise he could get out his question at all.

"_What_?"

"Xigbar was just in C.O. and he just left we tried to stop him but Namine insisted I dunno there's a lot to explain and not enough time you should probably just go after her." Joseph explained it all in one breath, but Riku had no trouble understanding him.

He had to go after Namine.

His heart started again, in a fury, pounding blood and _anger _and _darkness_ through his veins. The darkness pulsed across his skin, steadily cloaking him in dark mode.

"Go go!" Aerith waved her hand, telling him to get a move on. "No need to stop and say goodbye—unless you want someone to come with you."

"I'll be faster on my own," Riku replied.

"I wanna go!" Joseph said.

"But we can't—" That was Toby. Where'd he come from? "29 said we couldn't!"

"Well plffff."

"Can I go?" Kairi said.

"Do you know _where _Namine is?" Tifa asked. Apparently she suddenly felt the need to be a part of this conversation.

"FINE!" Riku screamed, covering his ears. There was too much talking—too much noise—and none of it was actually helpful. "Yes, Kairi. You can come. I guess. Joseph. No. You can't. Tifa—" He paused, grimaced, squeezed his eyes shut. "No. I don't know but it doesn't matter because _I will find her._"

"You should stop by C.O.," Joseph said. "Alpha will know where Namine is."

Riku groaned. Just what he _didn't _want to do.

"Then let's get a move on!" Kairi said. "The more time we sit here the more time we—"

"You should take ethers!" Aerith interrupted. "The only thing worse than arriving late is arriving unprepared."

"Here." Tifa was already shoving bottles into a bag, and thrust it at Kairi the moment she was close enough to take it. "Go!"

Kairi slung the bag over her shoulder and waved for Riku to get moving. He opened a dark corridor around them.

**_xXx_**

"So where was it you were headin' before you got dragged here?" Mickey asked.

Sora looked up, a little surprised. He'd completely forgotten about needing to go to Hollow Bastion with all the excitement—and exhaustion—concerning Maleficent. It wasn't long after she was gone—dead—that Sora'd passed out.

But now he'd had a good night's rest, and everything in the Castle was safe.

Which meant he needed to go to Hollow Bastion. So he could see Kairi.

He smiled fondly at the thought, and then told Mickey: "Well I was going to meet up with Kairi in Hollow Bastion."

"Hollow Bastion?" Mickey asked, sounding a little surprised.

"Oh. There's a town outside the castle and stuff," Sora explained. "And I know- I have a couple friends living there. Kairi should be staying with them."

"Right," Mickey said. "I knew that." He paused for a second, then clarified: "Well, I knew there was a town. Or, I _should've._" He shook his head. "Anyway. Ya headin' there?"

Sora nodded.

"Need a ride?"

Sora chuckled. "Yeaahhh…." he said, rubbing his arm. "I lost my mode of transportation a while ago."

"That's alright!" Mickey pulled out his star shard, then held it out to Sora. "Ya wanna do the honors?"

"Well- uh-" Sora stared. Swallowed. "I'd- I'm not sure if—"

"I think ya know where we're heading better than I do," Mickey interrupted.

"Oh. Okay."

Sora put his hand on the star shard, thought of Hollow Bastion, and they were off.

"Here," Sora said once they'd landed, handing the star shard back to Mickey. Mickey took it without hesitation, though he was tugging at one of his ears. Sora realized that his own ears were ringing, and winced in sympathy.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "Been a while since I last used a star shard."

"Well you got us to the right place, didn't ya?" Mickey asked.

Sora nodded. "Yeah, this looks like it." They weren't _right _on Aerith's doorstep, but they were only about ten feet away from her house. He turned back to Mickey, shifted his feet nervously. "Uhm, you can always just leave me here… I mean, this is definitely where I was heading, and I wouldn't want to keep you—"

Mickey shook his head in protest. "The least I could do is walk you to the door."

Sora flushed a little with embarrassment, but said nothing. There wasn't exactly a polite way to refuse. He went over to the door, knocked on it, waited.

"I'll get it," he could hear Tifa say from inside. "I'm up I'm up! I'll get it!"

There was another pause, though much shorter, and then the door opened.

"Hello—" Tifa paused, when she saw who was standing the doorway. "Well look who finally decided to show up."

"I said he was fine!" Cloud called.

Sora frowned a little at the greeting, and cleared his throat.

"Is, uh, Kairi here?" he asked.

Tifa stared for a moment, pursed her lips. "You _literally _just missed her," she said, a touch of annoyance in her voice.

Sora stared back. He couldn't believe it.

"You- you're kidding me, right?"

"I sure _wish _I was kidding!"

"Well- where is she?"

"Let him come inside, Tifa!" Aerith called before Tifa could answer. "No reason to make him stand on the doorstep while we explain." She pushed Tifa to the side and ushered Sora in, only to pause when she saw Mickey. She dropped into a slight curtsey, and smiled. "Your Majesty!"

Mickey coughed, cleared his throat. The more time Sora spent with him, the more he got the feeling that Mickey didn't particularly enjoy being addressed formally. "I was, uh, just dropping Sora off," he said. "Where'd ya say Kairi was?"

"Well, come in!" Aerith said. "Have a seat if you'd like—Kairi just left with Riku. Namine's been, uh…" She paused and cleared her throat, casting her eyes to the ground. "Been kidnapped or- or something. So they went to rescue her."

"She has!" Joseph said. "Been kidnapped!" He nodded enthusiastically. "I was there! I saw it!"

Aerith put a hand to her mouth, taking a deep breath. "She is going to be okay, right?" she whispered.

Sora swallowed. He wished he could reassure her, but a simple "I'm sure Namine will be fine" seemed incredibly hollow, especially since he had no clue what the stakes were. He didn't need to say anything, though, because Joseph was way ahead of him.

He put a hand on Aerith's arm, and smiled at her, reassuringly. "Riku will get to her before anything goes wrong. I'm sure of it."

"Maybe we should go after them," Tifa suggested, sending a sidelong glance at Aerith. "For backup."

"I'll go," Mickey said, without hesitation. "Where are they?"

"The World that Never Was," Joseph replied. "Organization 13 lives there—can I come too?"

"It's probably best if ya stay behind," Mickey told him, smiling apologetically.

Joseph folded his arms across his chest and pouted quite visibly.

"No one will let me go," he muttered.

"But they've all- all got a reason for it," Toby told him.

"I still wanna go."

"Sora?" Mickey turned to him. "I shouldn't assume ya wanna come with, but—"

"Yeah. I'll go," Sora said.

Mickey nodded. "Alright."

"OH! Oh wait a second!" Joseph exclaimed, bouncing over to Sora. "Sora can I borrow you for like just one sec I wanna tell you something and I'll forget if I wait. Toby, just- just stay there for five seconds this won't take long. Ah," He paused his attention on Mickey. "Your Majesty—"

"It's fine," Mickey said. "Go ahead."

Joseph grinned and dragged Sora out the door so they could talk in semi-private. Sora coughed, nervously, wondering what the heck Joseph could want to talk to him about. He doubted it was anything terribly serious, but being asked to talk alone with someone—even with a 12-year-old—would make anyone nervous.

Joseph let go of Sora and cleared his throat. "Okay so we haven't talked in ages and I would love to catch up but I know you don't have time right now so uh." He took a deep breath, put an extremely serious look on his face, and looked Sora in the eye. "I want you to promise me something."

Sora raised his eyebrows. Joseph probably only wanted him to promise to talk to him later.

"Mm?"

"Smile," Joseph said. Sora blinked in surprise, not expecting that. "Once a day. Every day. It helps." Joseph smiled up at him. "Because no matter how dark it is, if you can find something to smile at every day, then life can't be so bad, right?"

Sora stared at him, bewildered. That seemed like a wisdom past Joseph's years, but… Sora found a smile tugging on his lips, regardless.

"That's it!" Joseph laughed. "Like that!"

Sora smiled even wider.

"Okay, that was all," Joseph said. "Well—" He frowned, eyes trailing across Sora's face. "Nevermind. You don't have time."

"I just got in a fight," Sora replied instantly, reaching up to scratch the skin around his scar. He knew what Joseph was staring at. "That's all. Nothing huge."

Joseph nodded. "Okay, well, you gotta get going!"

Sora smiled, and went inside to get Mickey.


	216. I just

As a heads up, I'm going to end up referring to all Organization members by name despite the fact they won't introduce themselves. And, yes, Riku _does _know all their names but Sora and Kairi don't and I'm going to be writing from their POVs a lot, too. It's not exactly relevant in _this _chapter, but it will become relevant later on.

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><p>They stepped out of the dark corridor and into a very… interesting place. Kairi paused and gaped as she took in her surroundings. Everything was some shade of grey, and there was a lot of <em>incredibly <em>large machinery. Not to mention a lot of open space in the not-quite walls that seemed to lead to a void of nothingness.

Kairi resolved to stay as close to the inside of the path as she could.

"Y'sure this isn't a bad idea?" Riku asked, looking back at her. He'd started walking without her noticing, and she had to jog to catch up.

"Oh so _now _you have second thoughts," Kairi said, scowling.

Riku grimaced, and shifted a little, clearly uncomfortable with the question. "Well…. you don't have a weapon."

"I can use magic!" Kairi protested. "And I've got plenty of ethers!"

Riku sent a glance at her bag, looking skeptical again. "Is the bag gonna be a hassle?"

"No." Kairi tightened the strap and fastened it to one of her belt loops. It was secured against her lower back—within reach, but nowhere where it would jostle with her movement. "See? Totally—" She broke off, realizing Riku'd left her behind again. She had to run to catch up to him, this time. "Why do you walk so fast?" she asked him, jokingly.

"We aren't just going to be fighting Heartless," Riku said, completely ignoring her teasing. "There will be Nobodies, too."

"Are those the white stringy things?"

He sent her a curious look, but didn't comment on her strange terminology. "Yeah," he said. "And also they can look like people—it's those ones we gotta worry about."

"Mm."

Now that she was walking next to him, she realized just how _tall _he'd gotten. She'd noticed earlier that he'd definitely grown, but it'd been hard to tell just _how _much. His hair had grown, too. She considered teasing him about it, but decided against it. Now wasn't the time. He wouldn't acknowledge whatever she said, anyway, given his lack of response to her comment about how fast he walked.

"And if you start slowing me down I'm not going to have time to send you back or argue about it," Riku added. "We're on a ticking clock. If they have Namine they are going to Rewrite her and I don't want that to happen. I promised I wouldn't let it happen."

Kairi nodded, and took a deep breath. They were rescuing Namine. This wasn't the time to goof around.

"How much time do you think we have?" she asked.

"They can build a Replica in about two or three hours if rushed," Riku answered. "It can't take nearly as long to rewrite a Replica, not to mention they _will_ be rushed seeing as I'm here."

"Alright." Kairi nodded again. "One more question?"

"Mm."

"We were supposed to stop back at, uh, Castle Oblivion?"

At least, she assumed Castle Oblivion was what Joseph meant by "C.O.".

"Waste of time," Riku scoffed. "All Alpha was going to do was tell me I needed to go after her and warn me and argue and- and yeah maybe he would've given me a more specific location which I guess would've been nice but—"

He broke off and shook his head.

Kairi thought of saying something, or at least asking where exactly they were headed, when a large group of Nobodies appeared out of nowhere. They were different from the stringy ones she'd run into a while ago—these ones looked slightly more natural and carried swords. They were also blocking the path to the next area.

"_Great, _just what we don't have time for," Riku groaned. He summoned his blade and pushed forward, hacking at the creatures to get them out of his way. "Stick close to me. If you get left behind I'm not coming back for you."

"That's a little harsh," Kairi muttered, but she stuck close to him, anyway. She couldn't exactly blame him for being rude. Namine was in danger and, well, this was _Riku _she was talking to.

She didn't bother attacking the Nobodies with light, seeing as it hadn't been very effective on the stringy Nobodies. Fire, however, seemed to be relatively effective.

The sound of a Keyblade made Kairi perk up, and her heart skipped a beat before she could remind herself that Sora was _not _the only person who could wield a Keyblade. She looked around anyway, just in case, and found Roxas.

Had she not been avoiding being attacked, she would've waved or called out to him. He made his way over to them, cutting through the Nobodies with ease. Almost… _too much _ease…

"Oof!"

In her distraction, Kairi'd bumped into Riku. Actually, it wasn't even entirely her fault. He'd stopped dead in his tracks, staring at Roxas, a quiet snarl on his lips and anger in his eyes. Kairi frowned a little, wondering what warranted _this _attitude, when the Nobodies suddenly all pulled away from them and—

—and formed a very effective barricade in front of the entrance to the next area.

Roxas stood in front of the barricade, blade bared, a smirk on his face.

"How 'bout a friendly duel?" he asked.

"_Now is not the time, Roxas!_" Riku screamed.

Kairi looked between the two of them, still confused, but slowly piecing it together. The barricade. Riku's lack of patience with Roxas. The black cloak. She'd seen it before.

_How could she have been so blind?_

"Yeah, that's sorta the point,"Roxas laughed. He took a step back, preparing himself, then threw himself at Riku. Riku blocked just fine, but Roxas didn't seem fazed. "My orders _were_ 'stall Riku'. So."

Kairi gaped.

"You _work _for- for Organization 13 or whatever the heck they're called!?"

"Well, forgive me for having to keep hush hush about it," Roxas said. She couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. After a second, once he'd gained his ground, he flashed her a grin. "They don't pay me for killing Heartless, by the way."

"Why would I care?"

He shrugged.

Riku pulled away from Roxas, and ran at the wall of Nobodies. He barely even started attacking one when two others threw him back.

"Just thought you'd be interested," Roxas said, as he grabbed Riku by the arm and shoved him backwards. "I wouldn't bother with that again. You really won't be able to get past."

Riku growled and attacked Roxas again. Roxas only laughed. He didn't seem too worried about Riku's attacks—he could block or avoid them all with incredible ease. After a few seconds of clanging blades, Roxas turned to Kairi again.

"By the way, Kairi! We still up for that beach date?"

Riku paused. Kairi blushed. Riku turned to her, face scrunched up with surprise.

"You agreed to go on a _date _with him?"

"It all happened rather quickly!" Kairi protested. Her voice squeaked as she said it, and cursed herself.

"So is that a no, or…?" Roxas shrugged. "I mean I totally get it if you don't want to. Especially after the whole finding-out-I-work-for-a-sketchy-Organization thing."

Kairi opened her mouth. Shut it again when the first noise that left her mouth was a squeak. She growled a little in frustration, then tried to speak again. It was still squeaky. She shut her mouth again and decided not to say anything.

"Damn! I was almost past them!" Riku shouted, as the Nobodies threw him back again. And, again, Roxas grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away from the wall of Nobodies.

"I am really sorry. I just have to follow orders," Roxas said. "Though I'd let you pass if you'd _actually _duel me."

Riku screamed very loudly before throwing three blasts of darkness at the ground.

"I'll duel you," Kairi said.

"Oh, I'd love to, but…" Roxas sighed. "I can't guarantee Riku's not going to slip off while we're dueling, and it's _him _I've got to stall. I guess I could always let you past—"

"Ahhh….." Kairi thought about it for a moment, a grimace deepening on her face with every second she did. "I'd…. get lost."

Roxas shrugged again. "Okay. Up to you."

Kairi clucked her tongue in annoyance, and then grabbed Riku and dragged him further away from Roxas. She wanted to discuss a plan of action with him and would want to do it preferably not within earshot of Roxas.

"Okay maybe we should distract him and then, like, dart past," Kairi suggested.

"IT'S NOT HIM IT'S HIS FRIKKEN SAMURAIS."

"That's why I suggested a duel!" Roxas sang.

"Shut up!" Kairi shouted, sending a glare at him. "Riku—" She stopped there, grimacing. Riku wasn't going to be any use at this point. He was too frustrated and likely incoherent. She chewed her lip, thinking.

How could she distract Roxas? And she needed to distract him enough for him to call off his Nobodies—Samurais. The more she thought about it, the more she thought convincing Riku to just duel Roxas would be faster.

Unless…

"Roxas, I take that shut up back." She took a few steps closer to him, so she wouldn't quite be yelling at him. She took a breath, preparing herself. There was no telling what effect this question would have—if it had any. But it was something.

"Who's Xion?"

Roxas stopped completely, and his arms dropped to his sides, his blade going slack in his hand. His eyes glazed over, too, staring unfocused at Kairi. "Xion?" he repeated, then let out a wistful sigh. After a moment, he blinked, and his eyes focused again. The grip on his blade didn't tighten. "I don't know anyone named Xion. It's a nice name, though…"

"Y'sure?" Kairi asked. "Because you totally accidentally called me Xion the other day."

"…did I?"

Roxas's expression was completely blank. He kept blinking, as if trying to get himself to focus, but the distant look kept returning to his eyes.

"Wait, back up." Riku's anger faded to confusion, and he squinted at Roxas. "You don't remember her?"

Kairi smiled a little. Maybe this plan would work. The Samurais even seemed to be getting nervous.

"No…? Should I?" Roxas asked. He looked at Riku, urgently. "Do you know someone named Xion?"

"Not well, no. And she's… gone…" Riku coughed. Kairi winced. "But- but you and- you and her were… and… _you don't remember?_"

"Remember _what?_" Roxas's voice rose with frustration, and Kairi winced further.

"_XION!_" Riku shouted. "Who the he- I don't have time for this." He turned to Kairi, the anger returning. "We don't have time to argue with him we are on a ticking clock we need to get Namine." He opened a dark corridor beside him and went through, muttering under his breath. "Can't believe I didn't just try this soon—ow!" He fell back out of the dark corridor, cursing as he did so.

"What's wrong?" Kairi asked, bending over to help him up.

"Blocked. It's blocked." Riku turned to Roxas, and groaned. "I'll have to fight him."

"But whatever we're doing seems—"

"He's not going to remember her!"

Kairi looked at Roxas, who hadn't moved, despite the perfect opportunity he'd had to attack Riku. Roxas was still standing there, face scrunched up and his eyes unfocused. Obviously their words were doing _something, _and it would be a shame to quit now. Whoever this Xion girl was, she was important to Roxas. Kairi was more than happy to try and jog his memory.

"We'll see about that," she scoffed, and marched right over to Roxas. He didn't move away from her—he hardly noticed her approach.

"Look at me," Kairi said, grabbing him by the shoulders. When he didn't turn to her, she grabbed his face and forced him to. "_Look _at me. You said I looked like her. I reminded you of her. I remind you of Xion. Look at me and _think. _What is it about me that reminds you of her?"

"Your… voice…" Roxas said, slowly. "Your face. You…"

"_Remember, _Roxas!"

"Xion…"

He scrunched his face up in what looked like pain, and then stumbled back, cradling his head in his hands. His shoulders shook, and after a moment, a terrible, _painful _scream tore itself from his lips. Then he straightened, and Kairi took a step back.

There were furious tears in his eyes, and he didn't look happy. He took a deep shuddering breath, then summoned a second blade, settling into something of a fighting stance. His eyes locked on Riku, mouth quivering.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE DIED," he screamed, and he attacked.


	217. did this

I may start uploading once a week instead of roughly twice a week. Consistency might be better than frequency, in this case. Definitely expect chapters on Saturdays/Sundays, and maybe expect them on Wednesdays/Thursdays. We'll see.

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><p>Mickey was <em>much<em> more skilled in star shard travel, Sora thought, as they arrived in what he assume was the World that Never Had Been or whatever it was that Organization 13's stronghold was called. The trip had been a lot less jarring, and there was no ringing in his ears.

Sora summoned his blade, figuring it was better to have it ready, and took a look at their surroundings. They were in a room that looked vaguely arena-like. The large balcony above them was clearly where you were supposed to stand to watch whatever was going on in this area below. Sora gulped, a little nervous, not exactly liking their current position.

"Where do we need to be going?" he asked, turning to look at Mickey.

"Not sure," Mickey replied, his voice lowered quite dramatically. "But maybe ya should try 'n keep your voice down. We are in Organization 13's stronghold, and there's no need to draw any extra atten—" His voice cut off as the sound of a dark corridor opening reached them. "Never mind," he sighed, summoning his Keyblade.

"Well isn't it just a party around here?" Xigbar called.

At the sound of his voice, Sora looked up. Xigbar was standing up on the balcony above them, and even from the distance Sora could tell he was grinning.

"We've already got Riku screwing things up in one half of the castle, and now we have _you. _Isn't that wonderful?" It sounded like Xigbar was being sarcastic, but the grin seemed legitimate and what he said next made Sora doubt it even more. "Not that you two can screw anything up—in fact, you two being here just _helps us._"

Sora glared and tightened his grip on his Keyblade. He started to shout out in protest, but Mickey beat him to it.

"Whaddaya mean?" Mickey called. He didn't seem angry. Just a little worried.

"You mean you haven't figured it out yet?" Xigbar laughed. The more he spoke, the less Sora liked the tone he was using. It was too casual. Too laid back. "And here I thought you were _trying _to figure out what we've been up to. Man you're slow."

Mickey glared, but he said nothing. Sora bit his tongue to keep himself from saying anything. If Mickey wasn't going to respond, then he wasn't either—even though that was an incredibly rude thing to say. And Xigbar was already annoying enough as it was…

"I'll go ahead and spell it out for you," Xigbar continued. "Every Heartless you kill with those Keyblades of yours? Goes right into our Kingdom Hearts."

Sora perked up at those words, remembering what Mickey'd said earlier about Kingdom Hearts. How powerful it was. Xigbar pointed out one of the large windows in the ceiling above them, and Mickey gasped. There was a yellow, heart-shaped moon hanging in the black sky, pulsing with a dull light.

"There's nothing you can do about it, either!" Xigbar laughed. "Unless, that is, you _want _the Heartless to kill you."

Before Sora could completely process the business about Kingdom Hearts, about two dozen Heartless—he couldn't name all of them, but he knew they weren't Pureblood—appeared around him and Mickey. Sora took a step back, gripping his blade tightly but refraining from dropping into his battle stance. If the Heartless he killed went to helping Organization 13 get Kingdom Hearts…

"Uhm," Sora sent a nervous glance over at Mickey, who was also eyeing the Heartless warily.

"Go on!" Xigbar called, still laughing. "Fight 'em! Or don't, I guess. Doesn't matter either way, seeing as we've got our own Keyblade wielder and all."

"What!?" Mickey gasped.

But the sound of a dark corridor opening told Sora that Xigbar was gone.

Sora took another step backwards, away from the Heartless. He could feel Mickey behind him, though, so he didn't dare take another step.

"They have a Keyblade wielder?" Mickey asked.

"Yeah," Sora replied, squinting at the Heartless. He didn't want to attack them, but, then again, not attacking them wouldn't exactly help. The Organization _did _have their own Keyblade wielder, and from what Sora knew, he was dang good at his job.

"His name is Roxas," Sora told Mickey. "He's, uhm, a nice guy. I guess. Apparently he's a Replica of me? Not a perfect Replica, though. He looks nothing like me."

"…I forgot they had a Replica Program," Mickey said, slowly. There was a slight… _hostility _to his voice.

Sora sent him a look of alarm. "Well you can't… _destroy _it!" he blurted, then winced. "I mean… there are a lot of people who rely on the Replica Pr—"

"I wasn't plannin' on destroying it," Mickey interrupted. "It wouldn't help, anyway. Our top priority needs to be figuring out what to do about that Kingdom Hearts. "

Sora looked warily at the Heartless again, who were inching ever closer. Thankfully they hadn't started attacking yet. Sora had a funny feeling he knew why, but also figured there were more important things at hand.

"Do we, uh, need to be worried?" he asked.

"Well…" Mickey sent a glance up at the Kingdom Hearts in the sky, then directed his attention back to the Heartless. "A little, yes."

"Just a _little!? _But they have Kingdom Hearts—"

"No they have _a _Kingdom Hearts," Mickey corrected. "A _fake _Kingdom Hearts. Well, okay, fake isn't exactly the right word, and it's still incredibly powerful, and Organization 13 should be stopped, _but_ they do not have _the _Kingdom Hearts and there's no reason to panic."

"Y'sure?"

"Yeah…"

Mickey sounded a little uneasy, though.

He cleared his throat.

"Listen, Sora, I'm going to go look into things and, uh…" Mickey paused a second, choosing his words, until he settled on: "Well, you'll be fine on your own. From the sounds of it, Riku's nearby, and Kairi should be with him. Just try to find 'em and stick with 'em. And I guess try and keep the Heartless killin' to a minimum, if ya can."

Sora scrunched his nose, taking a second to process that. "O-okay," he stammered, finally, just as Mickey jumped _over_ the Heartless.

"And if you see their Keyblade Wielder—if ya see Roxas—" Mickey called. "Try 'n convince him to… Well. Never mind. Don't worry about it! That'd only be a temporary solution and Xehanort can still do a lot with what he's already managed to put together." Mickey sent what looked like a smile back at Sora, then started down the corridor he was in front of. "Don't worry about it!"

"Xehanort?" Sora called after him, confused. He'd never heard _that _name, before, and he thought the leader of Organization was called Xemnas or… something. Not Xehanort.

Mickey was already gone, though, and Sora doubted his question had been heard.

Sora sighed, and took one look around him, surveying the situation. He really didn't feel like fighting the Heartless, and he knew as soon as he attacked they would attack back. After a moment he headed in the direction Mickey did. It wasn't that he was hoping to catch up to Mickey, it was just that the Heartless were thinner in that direction.

**_xXx_**

Axel drummed his fingers on the desk in annoyance, his eyes fixed on the screen that had the best angle of Riku and Roxas's battle. Roxas was holding up just fine—for now. He was fighting too recklessly for it to last.

And the words he'd said before attacking…

_"It's YOUR fault she died!"_

But that wasn't true…

"Good to know the failsafe works," 26 commented, casually, only half watching. The rest of his attention was fixed on his computer, his fingers typing away. Axel wasn't sure what he was working on, and didn't care to know. He was more worried about Roxas.

"We need to stop him," Axel said. His nose was nearly pressed to the computer screen in his fixation.

"Why?" 26 didn't even look up. "He's holding up just fine."

Axel just glared at the screen.

Roxas was holding up, yes, but it wouldn't last. It couldn't last. Riku's rage was too sharp, his determination too strong. He'd do anything to get to Namine, and plow down anyone in his path. And now that Roxas was bent on revenge, as opposed to merely stalling, he wouldn't think to get out of there when things got rough.

And the fact that Riku had Kairi on his side couldn't help matters. Kairi was doing quite a lot of fighting, and had plenty of magic to keep Riku Cured. Axel doubted she'd be nice enough to Cure Roxas, and even then, it was Roxas's sudden hunger for revenge that Axel was most worried about. The problem here was less keeping Riku from killing Roxas, and more keeping Roxas from attempting to kill Riku.

His revenge was directed in the wrong direction, anyway.

"Turn off the failsafe," Axel ordered.

26 paused, then, and looked up from his work to scowl at Axel.

"No."

Axel narrowed his eyes, and when he spoke, he found himself shouting. "He's going to get himself killed!"

"And?" 26 just looked back to his work, clearly not bothered about the issue. "We can just build him again. Or, Sora's in the Castle—" 26 gestured at one of the other computer screens, where Sora and Xigbar were arguing. "A fresh scan of his data couldn't hurt. Maybe we could _properly _replicate him this time."

Axel stared. He could hardly believe the words coming out of 26's mouth.

"What are you _saying?_"

"That Roxas is only as valuable as his Keyblade, no more," 26 said. He looked at Axel, his face expressionless. "I can build another Replica with his exact same skillset, and with less… temperament issues."

"_Excuse _me?"

"I know you wanted him exactly like he was last time, for _nostalgia's _sake or whatever, but you can't deny he has trouble controlling his emotions." 26 shook his head. "The fact that I even had to _install _a failsafe only proves it. Besides, how do you know Riku's going to kill him?"

Axel tried to protest 26's statement on Roxas's emotions, but couldn't think of anything good to say. He shut his mouth. Grimaced. Answered 26's question.

"It's two on one."

"And I doubt the girl can make much of a difference."

"She can make enough of one"

"It doesn't matter," 26 said. "I'm not disabling the failsafe."

Axel grunted in annoyance. Figured, though. 26 never had done anything Axel'd asked of him. "Then disable the corridor proofing on the area. I'll go down there myself."

"Can't do that, either. You'll ruin things."

Axel about punched his fist through 26's computer screen. At least that would get the Replica to _look at him _while he spoke.

"Ruin _what?_" he demanded.

"You'll let Riku go on, and—"

"Just disable it!" Axel shouted, shoving 26 against the wall. He'd had enough. One hand wrapped around the Replica's throat. The other hand stayed at his side, sparks dancing across his fingertips, prepared to summon a chakram or just catch on fire. Either would be suitable.

"No," 26 said, his voice tight. "I won't let you screw this u—nghh!"

Axel'd gone ahead and summoned a chakram, then shoved it right through 26's chest. It wasn't long before he was dead. Maybe it was a little mean of him, but Axel'd gotten more than tired of 26 long ago, and this disregard for Roxas was too far.

_Besides, I'm better off without you, _Axel thought, banishing his chakram.

Then he remembered that he had no clue how to actually disable the corridor-proof on the area himself.

That, and he wasn't exactly sure how to disable Roxas's failsafe, either.

"Well… crud," Axel said. He considered the situation for only a second, and then he was out the door.

He needed to get to Roxas before he got himself killed. He could figure out the rest later.


	218. for the rest

first of you should totally listen to "Vector to the Heavens" memoria version while reading this because a) it's really pretty and b) it's good mood music

second off it's important to note Riku's actually Super Sensitive to sounds - which you guys knew - but that also means loud sounds are a little more obnoxious to him because they're extra loud and it overloads his senses easier  
>I'm bringing that up in an author's note because that is one of those things that I should've kept in mind this entire time and incorporated into the story but I didn't. And I should've. And I will now. But it's important enough to bring up in an author's note.<p>

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><p>"It's your fault she died!" Roxas screeched, throwing himself at Riku.<p>

Riku raised his blade to block just in time, taking a step back to keep himself balanced.

"Not- not really," he stammered, flinching slightly as Roxas brought his other blade crashing down against his. It didn't take Riku long to realize that if Roxas kept this up, his defenses would be broken eventually.

_But I don't have TIME for this! _he thought, bitterly. They'd wasted enough time already. Except how was he supposed to get out of this? With dark corridors not an option… and Roxas apparently wanting to kill him…

_Except it's not my FAULT._

"Cut it out!" Riku snapped, adjusting his weight again. Roxas was still crashing his blades against his. "I didn't _kill _her. Yeah, sure, I accidentally started a Rebellion but it was an _accident _and saying that it killed Xion is a gen—"

His defenses broke. His blade dropped from his hand, and he stumbled back. He tried to roll out of the way, but Roxas threw his weight against him and knocked him to the ground. Riku grunted, eyes wide as Roxas aimed one of his blades at his heart.

"Get _off_ me!" Riku screamed, trying not to panic.

He didn't have time for this. He didn't have time for this. _He didn't have time for this._

"You. _Killed. _Her." Roxas hissed. His voice shook with anger, and his body trembled. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"I did not!" Riku protested, but his own voice caught.

"But it's _your fault!_" Roxas screamed. "It's all _your fault! _All of it—"

He kept screaming, becoming more incoherent with each word, but his point was clear. Riku's heart thudded under Roxas's blade. It was his fault. It really was. If he hadn't—

"Roxas what the heck this came from _nowhere!_" Kairi shouted.

Her hands wrapped around Roxas's arm, his cloak, whatever they could as she tried to pull him off Riku. Roxas kept screaming incoherently, flailing against her to push her away from him, still struggling to keep his blade at Riku's heart. Riku ground his teeth and scrunched up his face. He wished his hands were free so he could plug his ears. The yelling was a little much…

He did, however, find himself smiling a bit when Roxas elbowed Kairi in the nose and she swore absolutely fervently in response. She did manage to pull Roxas off, though, and Roxas went tumbling to the ground. He landed on his back, panting for air and for once not screaming. Riku didn't doubt he'd continue once he'd caught his breath, though.

"Roxas, _quit—_oh never mind." Kairi rolled her eyes and rubbed her nose, which was looking rather red. Riku pushed himself up, grimacing. "_Riku,_" Kairi said, looking him in the eye. "We need to go."

Riku sent a hesitant look over at Roxas. "He's going to _kill _me."

"And there's really nothing we can do to stop him without severely wasting what time we have." Kairi sent a glance at Roxas, too. He hadn't moved, though his panting had turned into something close to sobbing. "Let's run for it. _Now._"

Riku jumped to his feet, nodding. Kairi had a point there. And, theoretically, with Roxas in this state, he wouldn't be able to command his Samurais well enough to keep them there. Kairi was on her feet, too, and they took off running. Riku summoned his blade and Kairi summoned a lot of light and they started plowing through what Samurais were left.

They'd only gotten a few out of the way—and, granted, that was enough to get by, but one of Roxas's blades came flying at Riku. He had to duck to avoid it, then jump to the side to avoid the second blade. Roxas summoned the first blade back to him and then chucked it again. He started screaming again, too, though Riku couldn't make out more than the "she's dead"s and "your fault"s.

He rolled to avoid one of Roxas's blades, then jumped back. Roxas had lunged at him, prepared to strike. Riku ducked out of the way, took a swing at Roxas. Roxas blocked with one blade, attacked with the other. Riku jumped back again to avoid it.

An incredibly large wall of fire sprang up under all the Samurais, probably killing most of them. Riku tried not to pay attention though. He had to focus on Roxas. If he had to battle, he would, but he'd be sure to end it quickly. He needed to get to Namine.

And so long as he focused. So long as he aimed his blade just right…

He squinted a little, poured darkness down the length of his blade, and _stabbed—_

—but he didn't stab Roxas.

_Axel, _of all people, had thrown himself in the way and taken the blow. Roxas stared, mortified, then dropped his blades so he could ease Axel's fall.

Well.

That was one way to do it.

Riku banished his blade and turned on his heel, heading for the exit.

"Riku!" Kairi grabbed him by the arm, trying to hold him back. "Where are you—"

"You can stay here and watch them chitchat if you'd like," Riku snapped. He wrenched his arm away from her. "I'm going after Namine. I've wasted enough time."

He didn't wait for Kairi to respond. If she wanted to come with him, she'd follow. If she didn't, well, that was her problem. Not his.

He had to find Namine.

**_xXx_**

It really was crystal clear.

It was all Riku's fault.

He needed to die.

That's all Roxas could seem to think.

_If it wasn't for Riku, Xion wouldn't be dead. If it wasn't for Riku Xion wouldn't be dead. Ifitwasn'tforRikuXionwouldn'tbedead._

He threw everything he had into attacking Riku. He could do it. He would kill him and then—then he wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. Only killing Riku did. Only—

_Axel._

The image cut through everything in his mind.

The mantra, the nagging, the _need—_everything.

It all stopped at the sight of Axel's back, taking a blow meant for him, falling to the ground.

"NO!"

The scream tore itself from his lungs, and Roxas lunged forward to catch Axel before he hit the floor. He could only ease Axel's fall. Axel groaned, clutching his stomach.

"Axel!" Roxas gasped. He scrunched up his face, his head pounding. But that- that didn't matter. _It didn't. _"Ngh. Where- where did you come from?"

"Had to make sure… You didn't kill Riku…" Axel coughed. It was only a few coughs before he was coughing blood.

"Here!" Kairi knelt down on the other side of Axel. "I can try and heal—"

"Don't bother." Axel coughed again, then chuckled. "It's too late. Riku knew what he was doing. That was a blow meant to kill. He put darkness in it and everything."

Roxas squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, the pounding in his head reaching unbearable. Riku did this. Riku. He had to—

"But I can…" Kairi started, but broke off, uncertainly. She chewed her lip. "I might be able to… get rid of the darkness."

"_Don't _bother_,_" Axel repeated, firmer this time. "I mean it. Roxas—"

"My head hurts…" Roxas mumbled. Everything was a little blurry, too. Axel was—

But _Riku _needed to_—_

But…

_Axel._

"I figured it'd do that," Axel said. "But you don't want to kill Riku, right?"

Roxas shrugged, hopelessly. He wasn't sure anymore. Of anything. His brain seemed to have stopped working and there was a knot in his stomach and a lump in his throat. Plus his blood was still racing from the battle.

"Maybe? I dunno. Guess- guess it's not his fault…"

Xion's death wasn't, anyway. Not _really. _But Axel's—

"Good. Hold onto that." Even in- even in death Axel was as firm and cocky as ever. "It's not Riku's fault. It's Saix's. If you're gonna get mad at anyone, get mad at Saix. He was the one- the one who killed Xion."

Roxas swallowed. Blinked a few times. There were tears in his eyes. This was all hard to stomach.

"R-right, but- but wait Axel! No don't die too!"

Axel just shrugged, weakly. He laughed again, coughed again.

"It's no one's fault… but mine," he said. He sent a small smile at Roxas. "I jumped in front of the blow. Thought cloaks were a little more sturdy than this. Shoulda known. Heh."

"Axel no," Roxas begged. "No please don't die. Not you too. Axel _please._"

"Roxas, it's okay. I'm coming back."

And then he was gone.

Axel was gone.

Faded away, like all the other Nobodies did when they died.

"Wait, no!" Roxas cried. "What did you—" He scrunched up his face and gritted his teeth, trying to hold back the scream. It was too much. It was really way too much. First he remembered about Xion, and then Axel…

"Are you… I'm sorry," Kairi said, gently.

Her voice sounded so much like Xion's it hurt.

"What did he _mean!?_" Roxas demanded, staring at her with pleading eyes. "Do you know? He- he said…"

He was coming back? But what hope was there that Axel could come back?

Kairi just shook her head. "I don't know. I really am sorry." She chewed her lip for a moment, then added, with a shrug: "Maybe… Riku knows? But he ran off and—"

"Well then let's go!" Roxas got to his feet. "After him! I need to know what Axel meant. And- and I might know where Namine is. Maybe."

"You should've mentioned that sooner!" Kairi shouted, pushing herself to her feet, too.

"Well I wasn't supposed to!" Roxas snapped. He squeezed his eyes shut. Now that Axel was gone, it was harder to ignore the—broken—mantra that was going in his head. _If it wasn't for Riku, Xion wouldn't be dead. _

Except it wasn't true.

"I- I had my orders to _stall _Riku, not _help _him," Roxas explained. "But let's go!" He didn't stand there any longer, he started walking, then running. Kairi could keep up with him, at least.

"Wait!" she said, as she fell into step beside him. "You don't want to kill Riku anymore. Right?"

"No it's- it's passed. That passed." Roxas grimaced and tried not to think too hard about it. He wasn't sure if he could trust it had passed or not. "It's- it's dumb. Really. It's Saix's fault." If he kept saying it, maybe he'd stay focused. It wasn't Riku's fault.

"Are you sure?" Kairi asked. "That it's passed?"

"I…" Roxas bit his tongue. He didn't want to admit that it may not have. "We'll have enough warning if it doesn't."

"What about your orders?"

"Eh. I can ignore those. I should've- should've been. Before. I think."

Kairi sent him a worried look. "You are _incredibly _calm for having two friends just die on you…"

He didn't bother to correct her with the fact Xion had died months ago. He just chuckled.

"I'm not calm. I just _really _want to kick some ass, and hopefully find out what Axel meant…"

Kairi picked up her pace, a little, and before Roxas could pick up his own, she was standing right in front of him. Dead still, glaring suspiciously, ready in a relaxed fighting stance. Roxas skidded and stumbled a little as he halted.

"This isn't a trick, is it?" she demanded. There was venom in her voice.

"What? No! I just watched my best friend die, and you think I'd _trick _you?"

That was a little mean…

"Unfortunately, Roxas, I have no idea." Kairi shrugged, but she still glared at him. "I don't know you."

Roxas swallowed. It was hard not to feel upset. With Axel gone and… and how much Kairi reminded him of Xion. Watching Kairi and hearing Xion accuse him made his stomach churn. There was no denying they shared a voice.

"But- but you _saw _Axel die!" he countered. "I- and I want _nothing _to do with the Organization, now that I remember everything! I really don't! I wanted to run away from them. Me and Xion. Run. Together. She- She didn't…"

He trailed off. He wouldn't think about it. Wouldn't think about her refusal. How _stupid _she'd been…

"We- we got caught before we managed to get away completely," he said. It wasn't a total lie. "We didn't get out of their radar in time. And she died because of it. I wouldn't _keep working for them _after remembering that. Because it's not just Saix's fault she died, it's the whole Organization's. I'm sure Xemnas wanted her dead, too, or he wouldn't have let Saix kill her!"

"I'm- I'm sorry, Roxas!" Kairi said. Her voice shook with frustration, and there were tears in her eyes. "I really don't know if you're lying or not. Making- making it up."

"Do I _sound _like I'm lying?"

"No but—"

Roxas felt like he was going to scream. He really did.

"Would- would you trust _Sora?_"

Kairi stared at him a moment.

"Y- yes."

"Then trust me."

"Why?"

Of course that wasn't enough. Of course she needed an explanation, too.

"Because I'm a replica of him," Roxas said, and he thumped his chest. "And at my core I am a lot like him."

"But they programed you to _kill Riku_ if you remembered Xion!" Kairi argued.

Roxas paused.

She had him there.

"Well—"

"How do I know what else they programmed into you? How do I know it's safe?" Kairi shook her head. "Roxas, I am so sorry but Riku needs to get to Namine and I'm not going ruin that just because I was too dumb to see you shouldn't have come."

"He doesn't know where she is!" Roxas pointed out, furiously.

"I'm not letting you go after him."

"Then he _won't _know where she is!"

Kairi just shook her head again.

"Don't bribe me like that, Roxas. Just _don't. _It doesn't help your case."

He was getting the urge to punch her. She was just as stubborn as Xion was, and dumb enough to miss the obvious answer, too. Maybe this was where Xion had gotten it from.

"If you want me to believe you won't harm Riku—not on purpose, anyway—then you need to tell me where Namine is," Kairi said, firmly.

"Fine! Okay fine!" Roxas was on his last nerve. "She's either in the editing room or one of the dungeons. I have no clue which, but she's definitely in one of those two places."

"Okay."

Kairi nodded.

Roxas waited.

She said nothing.

"You gonna let me come with?" he asked.

She swallowed.

"If- if you end up freaking out and trying to kill Riku again—"

"You'll have plenty of warning, and I won't be coherent enough to do anything more than attempt to attack him. If you keep running, or… or use a corridor to get away, I'll have a hard time keeping up." Roxas tried to keep his voice as even as possible. He was so angry he wished he could kill something, but he couldn't take that anger out on Kairi.

This wasn't her fault.

Still, she said nothing in response, just squinted at him and chewed her lip.

"It'll be much faster," he added. "I probably know this castle better than Riku does and can get us all right to where we need to be. And between me and Riku—and- and I guess you, too…"

He didn't actually think Kairi would be much help, _personally, _but she wouldn't harm. And it wouldn't harm to flatter her, either.

"Anyone who gets in our way will be toast," Roxas continued. "Riku could get rid of them alone, sure, but I was built to be stronger than him. I may not _actually _be stronger, but I'm pretty close. Combined, nothing stands a chance against us. You really want me to come with you."

Kairi swallowed, but her defenses dropped and her face softened.

"…I do."

"Then let's go!"

She nodded, a little hesitantly, then moved out of the way.

"Okay."


	219. of Dead Inside?

I'm going to definitely start uploading chapters only on the weekends-granted I was intending like an "either Saturday or Sunday" schedule but this one is going up today because I'll be busy this weekend

anyhoo! enjoy!

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><p>The Replica Program <em>was <em>outstanding, there was no doubt about it. Not that Vexen had ever doubted—he knew how outstanding it was from the moment he'd laid eyes on it and what it'd created. But he'd never had a chance to appreciate it _in full, _largely because he'd never had _access _to it in full. Not until now, anyway.

Vexen had been moved to a room with a computer, which he was quite grateful for. Of course, there was only so much he could _do _with the computer when it only had access to the Program and nothing more, but it at least gave him something to do. Eventually, he figured, Alpha would find a way to contact him. Until then, he might as well familiarize himself with the Program.

"Outstanding," Vexen murmured. "Simply outstanding."

"Even's pride and joy," Xemnas said.

Vexen jumped about three feet in the air in pure terror. He hadn't heard—or he hadn't _registered—_the dark corridor that should've signaled Xemnas's arrival. But maybe he hadn't used a dark corridor… That was an even scarier thought.

"He spent over ten years on it," Xemnas continued, without hesitation. "Was absolutely furious when it was lost."

"I can imagine!" Vexen scoffed, despite _who_ he happened to be talking to. "Ten years of research? All tossed—"

"Down the drain, I know," Xemnas finished. "Even never let me hear the end of it. I don't need the same lecture from _you._"

Vexen flinched. Xemnas said nothing more after that. Just stood there.

"What- what do you need me for?" Vexen dared ask, after a moment.

Xemnas chuckled. "To be honest, it has been so long since we've had a full Program—let alone someone who could _use _it—that I'm not sure where to start."

"I'm not replicating you!" Vexen blurted, and then he cringed. He was an idiot. He was an absolute idiot.

Xemnas raised his eyebrows.

"_That_… is an interesting idea…" he mused.

Vexen cursed himself under his breath. He was a complete and utter idiot. He really was.

"Not a bad idea, either!" that was Xigbar's voice, coming from nowhere—no. From Xigbar, obviously, who'd just appeared in the room. He didn't appear to have used a dark corridor, either, but given his element to control was _space, _Vexen was a little less surprised.

"_Especially _considering we're short," Xigbar finished, sending a look at Xemnas.

"Short?" Vexen squinted his eyes. "Short on… what?"

He didn't get a response.

"Speaking of," Xigbar added, completely ignoring Vexen. "We lost two. Axel's dead. Roxas ran off. Unfortunate, really. They were both good…. members."

Vexen's squint deepened as he studied Xigar's face. Unfortunately, per usual, Xigbar gave nothing away. His half smirk remained on his face, and his one eye glinted with some sort of knowledge. And _none _of his expression betrayed what he was thinking. It never had.

"What made Roxas run?" Vexen asked. Partly he was curious, but he also hoped that if he got Xigbar talking about something slightly off-the-subject, he would reveal something on-the-subject.

"Axel got himself killed, duh," Xigbar replied with an eye roll. "Plus Roxas remembered that Xion girl."

"No surprise," Vexen said to himself, under his breath. He didn't doubt he was heard, though. The room was only so large and sound carried well in this castle. "Memories are fickle things—and incredibly hard to contain."

He knew that all too well. The results of Castle Oblivion in the other universe, oh so long ago, had only proved it. Memories could be tampered with, wiped, but true memories would always, _always _remain. No matter how many times you wiped them, they'd come back. They'd always come back.

"How did Axel die?" Vexen asked. He was feeling particularly brave, but he also wanted information. And, so far, Xemnas hadn't spoken out against his and Xigbar's conversation. Nothing bad could happen until Xemnas did.

"None of your business," Xigbar laughed.

Vexen scowled.

"It was Riku, wasn't it?"

He couldn't think of many other reasons why Axel would've died. And the few he _could_ think of seemed rather unlikely given the circumstances.

"Perceptive," Xemnas said. He sounded pleased. Proud, even, and it made Vexen's blood boil. He didn't need—didn't _want—_Xemnas's praise. He wasn't property. Not to Xehanort. Definitely not here, in this universe.

"Why is Riku here?" Vexen demanded. "Obviously you angered him, but how—" He broke off, and closed his eyes. It was obvious, and it was terrible. "Namine's here. You have Namine."

"It wasn't hard getting her," Xigbar said with an all-too-satisfied smirk.

The smirk almost made Vexen want to punch Xigbar in the face—maybe in the good eye—but he knew better. Violence would get him absolutely nowhere, except maybe _dead. _He'd best stick to what he was good at, and that's why he swiveled around in his chair immediately and went back to the main page of the Progam, where all the Replicas were listed. Due to the database being wiped, there were only two Replicas.

Roxas.

Namine.

Before Vexen could click to open Namine's file, Xigbar pressed a gun to his head.

"Touch her file or mess up any of the edits being made to it, and this bullet goes through your brain," Xigbar said.

Vexen took his hands away from the keyboard and put them in his lap, clasping them together. There was no point arguing. He was valuable to them, yes, but he wasn't more valuable than a Rewritten Namine. Xigbar would kill him.

Thankfully, Xigbar lowered the gun once his hands were away from the computer. That was a relief, at least.

"What are we gonna do about him?" Xigbar asked, turning to Xemnas. "About Roxas? Do we need to catch him? Kill him?"

"That does not matter," Xemnas said, calmly. "He's no harm to us."

"We still need a Keyblade," Xigbar argued.

"I think our _guest _here can handle that."

Vexen scoffed. _Guest? _Xemnas was calling him a _guest? _What an absolutely _absurd _thing to do. He was a _prisoner, _not a _guest. _

Vexen said nothing to correct Xemnas, though. The gun to his head had jostled his nerves too much.

"How?" he asked, instead. His voice cracked a little, but after a deep breath, Vexen continued. "With this copy of data you have of Sora? Hmph." He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "It's no wonder both Replicas of him failed so drastically—or should I say all _three? _Though, granted, the current Roxas is remarkable. I'd reuse the Template, if I wasn't afraid of it backfiring."

Not all of these words were true, but Vexen was just trying to buy time. Even if he couldn't necessarily buy time for Namine, he could for Riku. Hopefully. It all depended on how desperate Xemnas—how desperate _Xehanort _was for a Keyblade.

"What's so wrong with our copy of Sora's data?" Xemnas asked. There was kindness in his voice—_concern. _It was obviously faked, seeing as he didn't have a heart, but it still made Vexen angry.

"It's full of holes and incredibly unstable!" he spat.

That, actually, _was _true. So much of Sora's data had been deleted to try and remove the darkness that there was hardly enough left to build a Replica from. Granted, they'd made at least _one _successful Replica from it, Vexen couldn't deny that. But he was trying to _buy time._

He swiveled around in his chair to look at Xemnas and Xigbar, and said quite seriously:

"I'll need a fresh scan of his data."

Sending Xigbar—or even just _any _member of the Organization—after Sora would make them no longer Riku's problem. And if Vexen was lucky, Sora'd manage to _kill _Xigbar—or whoever they sent—and then someone _else _would have to be sent.

"Understood," Xemnas said, and he smiled.

Vexen tried not to glare.

"I'll get someone on it," Xigbar said, and then he was gone.

**_xXx_**

Admittedly, Sora was probably lost. He was fairly confident with the fact he could get _back _to where he started (probably), but he didn't see much point in going _back. _Going _forward _would be more productive. Right? Not that he'd necessarily started in the _beginning _of the Castle…

Was there a door he'd missed? A path he didn't take? Apparently Riku was nearby, but Sora hadn't seen him yet. He hadn't seen anything but Heartless and what he assumed were Nobodies.

For the most part, he tried to avoid the Heartless. He killed what was necessary to move on, and then moved on. He also tended to avoid the Nobodies, but not because he didn't want to kill them. The Nobodies—specifically the _larger _ones—were incredibly powerful and he only had so many potions with him. He only had so many ethers, too. And it had taken _way _too much effort to finally finish some of the larger ones off. He didn't have time, or, again, the energy.

After a while, Sora came out on a large open area—a balcony of sorts, overlooking pathways of the Castle below. He started to move forward and check out the view, when a dark corridor opened right in front of him. It vanished seconds later, leaving a man in a black cloak with short almost-white hair standing in front of him.

Sora pulled out his Keyblade and dropped into his fighting stance.

"You! You're with Organization 13!" he called.

The man just smiled.

"I think I'd rather skip the pleasantries," he said, then there was a flash of light.

When the light cleared, Sora found he couldn't move. Not his limbs, anyway, though he could breathe and blink and move his mouth just fine. He struggled to move for a bit, just in case this was something he could break out of, and quite suddenly found he could move again.

The freedom didn't last long, however. He soon froze again, head turned in the direction of his fingers, which had frozen mid-wiggle.

"I suppose I should explain the rules, shouldn't I?" the man—Luxord, not that _Sora_ knew his name—said.

"_Rules_?" Sora wished he could move his head to glare at Luxord. "I didn't agree to any sort of _game_!"

"I know."

And then Sora could move again. He immediately raised his blade to attack and started forward, but froze before he could do much more than that.

"It's based on time," Luxord explained. From the looks of things, he hadn't moved much from his initial spot. "Ten seconds frozen—ten seconds to move."

"That doesn't seem very fair!" Sora protested.

"Are you accusing me of cheating? Because I _only_ play fair." Luxord chuckled, but there was an edge to his voice and his laugh. You assume I'm free to move. But, like you, I can only move when you're frozen—and when you can move, I cannot. Do you understand?"

Sora narrowed his eyes, mulling it over. Ten seconds would be about enough to get in an attack or two. Or just one attack, if he wanted to get out of Luxord's range before he was frozen again. And then… frozen for ten seconds while Luxord could do whatever he wanted.

He understood the rules just fine.

"Yes," he said. "I understand."

"Good."

"When is it over?" Sora asked.

Luxord just smiled again, clearly enjoying the idea of this game. "When one of us wins."


	220. Do you

exciting news! I just sat down to write the final battle of Dead Inside! we really are almost done!

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><p>Riku left a very distinct path to follow, at least. Or, according to Roxas, he did. There were always less Nobodies in a room if Riku'd been through it—not <em>no <em>Nobodies, just _less. _Kairi wasn't entirely sure how Roxas could _tell _there was less, but she took his word for it.

It turned out that he could redirect most of the Nobodies, too, so there were some perks to traveling with him. The only Nobodies he hadn't been able to redirect so far were the ones with guns. And, even then, those were fairly easy to kill, so their progress was hardly hampered.

"Heartless?" Roxas paused, in surprise. Kairi did too.

"Is that a bad thing?" she asked.

"No, it's just…" Roxas trailed off, squinting and rubbing his head.

Kairi took a step towards him. "Are you—"

"I'm fine!" He waved her off. "Sora's been here."

Kairi's heart skipped a beat, and she moved to look Roxas in the face. "Has he?" she asked, her voice squeaking a little with excitement.

"Well Heartless only come here when summoned, and they definitely weren't summoned for me," Roxas explained. "I mean, I suppose it could be some _other _Keyblade wielder, but Sora seems most likely."

That made Kairi pause.

"Are there other Keyblade wielders besides you and Sora?" she asked, tentatively.

"There's at least two," Roxas replied.

Kairi frowned, considering that, but soon Roxas was moving again. She hurried to catch up with him, not that it mattered. He paused again, this time at a branch between two different pathways.

"Ahh… now we have a problem," he said, quietly.

"We lose Riku's trail?"

"Maybe _problem_ isn't the right word," Roxas corrected, licking his lips. "See, it's more of a decision. Do we follow Riku…" he gestured at the left path, then the right as he continued speaking: "Or do we follow Sora?"

Kairi stared.

"You know which way Sora went?"

"The path of Heartless would lead us right to him."

Kairi's heart skipped in her chest. This was it. She could go find Sora. He couldn't be far, right? And after all this time… she could go right to him. See him again. After all this time…

A sound from above caught her attention. Both she and Roxas had to edge backwards to the middle of the area to see what was going on. Riku was up above, on the balcony-like place that towered overhead. He was fighting off various Nobodies, from the looks of it, though they were a large bulky type she hadn't seen before.

Kairi made her decision.

"Riku needs our help more," she said. "He needs to get through this Castle as quick as possible."

"I could go after Riku and you could go after Sora," Roxas suggested. "Sora's been here fairly recently, so the trail's fresh." At Kairi's hesitation, he added: "Trust me, the Heartless would've lost interest and left if he hadn't been here recently."

"Yeah," Kairi said. "But what happens if we catch up to Riku and you go all homicidal again, hmm?" She squinted at Roxas, and tried not to smile. She was partially teasing, but didn't want him to know. "Someone's gotta be there to keep you restrained so Riku can go on ahead."

Roxas shrugged. "Whatever. Up to you. This way, hurry!" He ran down the path on the left, and Kairi ran after him.

The path led them to a stairway of sorts. Not that it was stairs, but rather a slope heading upwards. It twisted at least three times before finally letting out onto the balcony.

"Riku!" Kairi called.

Riku turned to look at her, and stopped dead in his tracks again. Roxas quickly sent a blast of Firaga at the Nobody he was fighting to dispatch of it before it could harm anyone.

"Why'd you bring him?" Riku demanded, glaring at Roxas.

"He insisted," Kairi replied. Given the fact that Roxas had just practically saved Riku, she supposed the whole wanting-to-kill-him thing _really _was done with.

"You can't deny I'm gonna be a lot of help," Roxas added, with a smirk.

"But you're trying to kill me."

"I'm fairly positive that's stopped," Roxas said. He sent Riku an apologetic shrug. "It was nothing personal, really, just programming."

"Which is exactly why I can't trust you!"

Roxas just grinned and said: "C'mon, Reeks—" (Kairi had to cover her mouth to stifle the snort at _that _nickname for Riku.) "—I think you know perfectly well that you can fight what your programming tells you to do." Roxas grinned a little wider. "Besides, I mean, if I still wanted to kill you I would've attacked already."

"It's not like a program can be smart enough to lead you on like this, right?" Kairi added. She was still smiling over _Reeks_, though, and was rather surprised Riku hadn't said anything about it yet.

"I _guess,_" Riku grumbled. "I don't trust him, though, and we don't have time to talk—"

As if on cue, a dark corridor opened.

"Right… stalling…" Someone stepped out of the corridor, groaning and rubbing their head as they did so. With a wave of their hand, the dark corridor closed behind them. "Ugh, I hate work like this."

Kairi's first impression of the man was that he was quite a bit younger than any of the other Organization 13 members she'd met previously. Granted, he wasn't _terribly _young, but he looked about mid-twenties as opposed to older-than-thirty. He was slouching, too, and while she wasn't sure _what _was going on with his hair, _something _was definitely going on with it.

His name also happened to be Demyx, but Kairi wasn't aware of that.

Demyx looked between the three of them, and jumped a step backwards when his eyes fell on Roxas. "Whoa!" he exclaimed, then his eyes narrowed in confusion. "Heyyy wait a minute, what are you doing over there, Roxas? Aren't you on our side?"

"Ehhh, not anymore," Roxas replied, surprisingly casual about it. "I got my memory back and kinda realized why I tried to leave to begin with."

"You lost your memory?" Demyx asked.

"Apparently."

"Okay I'm not fighting you!" Riku protested.

Demyx slumped with exhaustion. "I gotta stall thoooooough…" he whined.

Riku rolled his eyes and groaned. Loudly. "You are literally no threat! I will kill you in like five seconds!"

"Give him a little more credit than that," Roxas said, throwing a sideways glance at Riku.

"Aw, thanks Roxas!"

"Buuuuut," Roxas continued. Kairi couldn't see the smirk on his face, but she could hear it in his voice. "Riku's right. Between me 'n him we're—"

"And me!" Kairi added, appalled.

"—gonna sorta beat you in about ten seconds."

Roxas didn't acknowledge that Kairi'd even spoken up, and she glared in response. It was awfully _rude _of him. No, she didn't have a weapon, exactly, but that didn't mean she couldn't help _at all _in battle. Magic was _plenty _useful.

The slight smile on Demyx's face fell to a glare. "I knew I couldn't trust a traitor like you," he said, and the tone of his voice sent chills down Kairi's spine. His sweet attitude had vanished completely. He held his hand above his head and in a burst of water summoned what looked like a sitar. "You should've never decided to leave us, Roxas, y'know? Things would've been a lot better if you'd stayed."

Roxas was suddenly holding both of his Keyblades. "I'm not so sure about that."

"Kay well that's great," Riku said, opening a dark corridor. "You two can settle your differences and I'm going to—OH MY FU- _ow. _Mgh."

Clearly, the corridor was blocked this time, too.

Kairi dropped into a fighting stance next to him and shook her head, smiling ever-so-slightly. "Well, c'mon Reeks—"

"I _never_ agreed to that nickname."

"—let's get this over with so we can go save Namine!"

**_xXx_**

Luxord's "game" was a lot more draining than Sora'd expected—and he'd expected it to be pretty draining.

Luxord fought with cards, and though they _looked _like playing cards, they were razor sharp and caused quite a bit of damage. Sora'd spent many a "turn" Curing the various cuts he'd received. And to make things worse, there almost appeared to be some sort of protective shield around Luxord. Something in the cloak, maybe? Whatever it was, it was making Sora's attacks _feel _less effective, and he couldn't _see _any visible damage on Luxord to gauge whether it was just his imagination or not.

Sora gritted his teeth as his body froze again, mid-step. He closed his eyes as Luxord's cards hit him—he could feel their sting and didn't need to watch them fly towards him. It just made the whole experience even more disconcerting.

What sort of game was this, anyway? It seemed too _twisted _to be a game any normal person would want to play. Being unable to move while your enemy was free to attack? It just made Sora's stomach turn.

How did you win the game, anyway? By killing the other player? Was passing out from exhaustion enough to end it? Or was there a time limit, and whoever'd dealt the most damage at the end won? Unfortunately, despite how much Sora asked for clarification, Luxord refused to give a straight answer.

So Sora kept fighting.

He ran forward, dealt two combos. He'd miscalculated how much time he had, though, and froze while in the middle of the finishing blow of the second combo. It worked out in his favor, however, seeing all Luxord's attacks worked best from a distance. The time it took for Luxord to distance himself for an attack gave Luxord little time _to _attack.

The cards were midflight when Luxord froze and Sora could move. The cards were unaffected by the freeze, but Sora was free to roll out of their way this time. He rushed forward again to attack Luxord, and just kept attacking. Clearly, being closer to Luxord at the end of his "turn" was the best strategy.

Of course, he wasn't _guaranteed _time to roll out of the way of the cards, but his chances certainly seemed _higher. _And honestly, simply having a _chance _made it all the more worth it. He also got more attacks done his "turn", which was just another plus.

The fight—the "game"—continued, until Luxord collapsed.

And Sora found he could move freely again.

Sora took a second to cherish the feeling. Being able to move when he wanted to was quite a relief, though he found himself trembling. The whole experience had left his nerves in a mess.

"Beaten me… at my own game…" Luxord mused. He didn't sound upset about the fact, however, and even straightened to his feet. "How unfortunate…. _for you!_"

He made a throwing motion, not that he actually threw anything.

Except Sora found he couldn't move again, and then he was falling to the ground. He fell for quite a while longer than should've been possible. The world spun dizzily around him as he flipped head over heels, finally landing face up on the ground.

As Sora got a better feel of his position, he found that he wasn't breathing. His heart didn't appear to be beating. Nothing, though he was quite conscious of his situation. He could see the sky just fine—black and empty and rather _boring—_and he could hear footsteps—presumably Luxord's—just well, too.

It was when Luxord picked him up that Sora realized what had happened.

He'd been turned into a card.

He'd been turned into a playing card, and was very effectively trapped.

Luxord flashed a small smile at him—or rather, at his handiwork—and then started off. He reached to put Sora in his pocket, and Sora was just starting to dread how awful that would be, when Luxord stumbled again. Sora's card fell from his hand, landing face-down this time.

"Maybe… I was wrong," Luxord mused. His voice was distant, grainy. "I had more to lose than I thought…"

Then Sora couldn't hear anymore. Had Luxord left? Died? Sora was still face-down on the ground. He couldn't see anything. What if he was stuck here forever? What if someone else came and picked him up? Someone _worse?_

_What if my Shadow found me? _Sora thought, horrified. _Oh man, he's the LAST person I'd want to find me here. Even if he could magically get me out of this. He wouldn't. I know him. And even then—_

"Oof!"

He was very suddenly human, his nose squashed against the ground. He pushed himself up, looked around.

Luxord was gone.

Sora got to his feet, dusted himself off. He sent a look over to the way he'd come in, which also appeared to be the only way out, and then turned away from it. His hands were shaking and his heart was racing. He didn't want to move on just yet. Didn't want to have to fight any Heartless. Or anything.

Quite frankly, he just wanted to sit down and catch his breath.

He made his way over to the edge of the balcony—or whatever he was on—and plopped down. He'd wanted to check out this view before Luxord showed up. There weren't any railings of any sort, though, so Sora made sure to stay a pretty far from the edge. The drop was fairly large, not to mention the chances of actually _landing_ on the bridge-like pathway below were probably slim.

Sora sat there for a long while, until he noticed two shapes running by on the path below. Upon closer inspection, he found that one of those shapes looked a lot like Joseph, and the other like the boy that had been with Joseph in Hollow Bastion. Toby, his name was?

"Joseph!" Sora called out, pressing his stomach against the ground so he could lean over the edge but not risk falling off. He wasn't sure how well his voice was carry, so the closer he was to Joseph, the better.

Joseph heard him, though, and looked up. Toby had to nudge him and point Sora's position out to him, but Joseph grinned once he saw Sora. Sora straightened just as a dark corridor opened behind him and Joseph flung himself against Sora. The force nearly knocked Sora over the edge.

"Careful!" he scolded, as he balanced them out. Joseph remained perched on Sora's back, his arms looped around Sora's neck, and didn't let go until Sora feigned choking noises.

"What are you two doing here?" Sora asked, as he turned to face the two boys. "Weren't you supposed to stay in behind?"

"Uh, well, y'see," Joseph said. "That's a funny story."


	221. know how

I'm going to go back to updating twice a week. It occurred to me that I still have a 9 chapter buffer between where I'm posting and where I'm writing and. It's gonna be really lame when I finish Dead Inside and can't entirely celebrate with you guys for like a month but hey at least it's not two months  
>(I can't exactly make the nine chapter buffer go down but I can at least upload more frequently so said nine chapters go up quicker.)<p>

* * *

><p>"Well, y'see, that's a funny story," Joseph said. "29 just said we couldn't go after Namine. He said <em>nothing <em>about going after Vexen who has also been kidnapped and—"

"I- I don't think-" Sora stuttered, holding up a hand to interrupt Joseph. He wasn't exactly sure how to reply, though, and his jaw was near the floor as he gaped at the boy. He hadn't heard what 29 had said, but he was fairly certain "don't go after Namine" also meant "don't go to the World that Never Was". Or whatever this place was called.

Sora sighed, and wondered if his parents had ever had this much trouble dealing with him. He remembered finding loopholes in what they'd told him to do or not do in the past, but never had he done something so… _dangerous. _There was nothing dangerous _to do _when he was Joseph's age—even if Joseph _was_ only three years younger than him.

Sora decided he felt incredibly sorry for 29—and his own parents—and then got back to the task at hand.

"When did you leave Hollow Bastion?" he asked Joseph.

"Five minutes ago," Joseph replied automatically, as chipper as always.

Sora sighed in relief. "So you haven't been here long?"

"Nope!" Joseph popped the p as he said it.

"And you've just been running around?"

"Jeeze Sora when did you become such a killjoy?" Joseph groaned, slumping a little with annoyance. "I thought you'd be excited to see us!"

"Well I- I suppose I… _killjoy?_"

"Axel uses it," Joseph explains. "It means something like party pooper but sounds a little fancier and takes less time to say."

"I…."

Frankly, Sora was at a loss for words.

Joseph sighed and put on a very impressive pout, complete with puppy dog eyes. It was rather obnoxious to see such a look on someone his age—he was old enough to know not to pout like that—but Sora didn't have a chance to tease him about it.

"Are you really gonna send me back to Hollow Bastion? Or C.O.?" Joseph asked, whining a little. Then he smirked, ever-so-slightly. "Though, you couldn't keep me there, y'know."

"I could tell 29."

"Sora you don't have any form of transportation."

"….crap."

Joseph broke into a grin, then. "Well, I know!" he said. "Me 'n Toby could stick with you! That way you can keep an eye on us and keep us out of trouble and stuff! I promise we'll stick out of your way if we have to."

"I can't believe this…" Sora groaned.

Unfortunately, he didn't see a way out of it.

"What were you doing, huh, before? Heading somewhere important?" Joseph asked.

Sora shrugged. "Just sorta heading after Riku, hoping to catch up to him. And Kairi." He rubbed the back of his neck, still grimacing. Joseph was going to derail him and drag him off somewhere else. He just knew it.

Though… maybe it wasn't a bad thing…

Kairi couldn't be… _desperate _to see him, after all, right?

"That sounds pretty important," Toby said, looking up at Joseph. "Maybe we should just do that."

"Mmmmmm I guess it is pretty important," Joseph replied. He tapped his thumb against his chin as he thought. "But! It can't take us more than, oh, half hour to rescue Vexen!" He brightened up at the thought. "You can wait that long, right, Sora?"

"I, uh, guess—"

"Great!" Joseph hardly waited for him to finish. He opened a dark corridor. "We're gonna go to the surveillance camera room, and could probably use some back up!"

Sora frowned. "Why are we going there?"

"To figure out where Vexen is so we can save him. Duh." Joseph rolled his eyes. "Did you miss that?"

"Well, not- not exactly..." Sora began.

"Let's go!" Joseph said, cutting him off again. He stepped through the dark corridor.

Toby let out a long sigh, and Sora looked down at him. He'd been awfully quiet this whole time—though, it wasn't like Sora knew the boy very well. Or at all. Just knew his name, really. Maybe he was always like this.

But from the way he was holding himself and rubbing his arms sent off a nervous vibe, so Sora asked:

"What's up?"

Toby shrugged. "Don't really wanna be here…" he said, his eyes on the ground. "But I'm not sure how to convince Joseph to leave—I was hoping maybe you'd do something about it, but…"

"Sorry." Sora sighed, too, a little frustrated with himself. "Joseph just talks circles around me. But if you really don't wanna be here, why don't you, y'know, just go?"

"Can't form corridors."

"Oh." That would put a damper on things. Sora laughed, though, trying to lighten the situation, for the both of them. "Guess we're in the same boat, then. I can't either."

Toby shrugged again. "That's alright," he said. He didn't seemed any more thrilled about the idea, but there was at least a smile on his face. "Let's go before Joseph comes back and yells at us. Or closes the corridor."

"Either would be bad," Sora agreed, so they stepped through.

**_xXx_**

Demyx did, indeed, fight with a sitar. For the most part he just used it to summon and/or control water, but it obviously it was reinforced, seeing as he'd bashed Roxas over the head with it and it hadn't broken. Roxas hadn't even seemed dazed from the blow, which was even more surprising.

"Why'd you wanna leave, anyway?" Demyx called. The comment was, obviously, directed at Roxas.

Roxas paused long enough to speak, though he didn't drop his battle stance. "Because I thought it would save Xion," he said.

"Who?"

"Geeze, she was right when she said no one knew about her."

Demyx lazily sent a couple of water forms—musical notes made of water that could move of their own free will—out at Kairi and Riku. Kairi had to finish them off with fire, as simply punching them didn't do anything besides get her hands wet.

"I didn't know you had a _girlfriend,_" Demyx said, his words still directed at Roxas.

"She wasn't my—"

"Hate to cut the chitchat but we have a battle to fight here!" Riku screeched. Kairi looked up at the sound of it, just in time to see him run at Demyx. She rolled her eyes a little. Riku was being extremely… well, to put it nicely, he was acting like a five-year-old. Had they not been in the middle of a battle—and had Namine not been in danger—she would've punched him in the face.

"Oh c'mon," Demyx laughed, deflecting Riku with a blast of water to his face. "Nothing wrong with talking. We could always talk about our probl—OKAY OKAY NEVERMIND!" He flinched out of the way of Roxas's Keyblades, and hid behind his sitar.

"I wonder if I can dart past him," Riku mumbled as he wiped the water off his face. Kairi wasn't sure how they'd gotten right next to each other, but she decided not to question it.

"You tried last time and it didn't wo~ork," she sang. Not that Riku heard her—he was already running.

Sure enough, while there were no Samurais or any other Nobodies to stop him, a large wave of water materialized and shoved him back. Kairi didn't bother moving out of the way of the wave, just braced herself against it as it passed around her shins. She'd been far enough away from it that'd nearly exhausted itself before reaching her.

Riku hadn't been as lucky. The wave hit him full on and pushed him all the way to the other side of the room, leaving him coughing and spluttering on his knees. Kairi sent up a Cure for him, though she sort of doubted he needed it.

Demyx grinned in Riku's direction, laughing. Roxas snuck up behind him in his distraction, but before he could attack, he collapsed. Demyx quickly got out of the way, launching himself across the room with jets of water.

Kairi rushed over to Roxas, knelt down beside him. Her skin started itching, but she ignored it. It was likely just the saltwater. Roxas was clutching his head and he groaned as he straightened—then promptly spat water out of his mouth and started coughing. Kairi pounded him on the back once, twice.

"Just keep coughing it up, you're fine," she told him. "I'm sure it can't have been more than a mouthful it won't kill you."

From the sounds of things, he'd accidently inhaled water. Kairi pounded his back one more time, looked him over. With shock she realized his eyes had glazed over.

"Roxas!" She jostled him to get his attention. "Roxas, listen to me! You don't want to kill Riku!"

She then realized jostling him wasn't the _best _idea right now, and quickly grabbed his arms to restrain him should he get up. Her hold wouldn't last long, but she was prepared to tackle Roxas if she had to.

Roxas just coughed again.

"Wh-what?"

"There is literally no point in killing Riku it gets you nowhere."

Roxas shook his head, to clear it. "Why would I want to… kill Riku?" He sent a dazed look over his shoulder at her—a tired look.

"Oh _good_." Kairi let go of him, then frowned. She scratched her arm, absentmindedly. The itch had gotten worse, but she needed to focus on Roxas. "Are you oka—_ack_!"

A blast of water separated them.

Roxas was on his feet again, swinging at Demyx.

Kairi got to her feet, too, rubbing at her arm furiously. It only took one look around the room to figure out why she was so itchy. Riku'd been throwing darkness around. She wasn't sure _how_ she knew it was making her itch, but the moment she laid eyes on the darkness-scorched walls she just _knew._

Kairi watched for a second longer, as Riku sent another blast of darkness at Demyx. He hardly flinched away from it.

"Riku I don't think that's working!" Kairi called at him. _Also it's making me itch like crazy and I'd really prefer if you'd quit it, _she added, silently.

Riku shouted something incoherent in response, but dropped the darkness he was holding and rushed in for a physical attack.

Kairi sighed in relief. Her skin still itched a little, but that would pass. Hopefully. In the meantime she tossed up a Cure for Roxas—she doubted it'd help his predicament, but it couldn't hurt—and then turned to throw a Fire at Demyx.

Between Riku and Roxas's near constant attacks, Demyx didn't last much longer.

"See?" Roxas laughed as he banished his blades. "I said we'd beat him quickly."

"He put up one hell of a fight, though," Riku grumbled as he banished his own blade.

Kairi sighed and tried to wring the water out of her shirt. "I'm soaking wet…" She looked up at the boys, and quickly grimaced. Roxas was completely dry, from the looks of things, and Riku looked pretty dry, too. Well, the water hadn't clung to his dark suit, anyway. His _hair _was another story, and Kairi had to cover her mouth and stifle a laugh.

"What's that look for?" Roxas asked.

Kairi nodded at Riku and said in an exaggerated whisper: "He looks like a drowned rat."

Roxas snorted, too, at the thought. Riku ignored their giggles and looked straight at Roxas.

"You really wanna come with?" he asked.

Roxas nodded, sobering instantly. "Yeah."

"…guess I can't stop you," Riku sighed. He started off again without saying anything more.

Roxas grunted in annoyance and hurried after him. Kairi abandoned her attempts to get the water out of her hair and ran to catch up.

"Are you actually okay?" she asked, falling into step beside Roxas.

"Yeah." He seemed angry and a little distracted. "Brain's just… fuzzy. I'll be fine."

Kairi bit her lip. "What if you're not? What if it gets worse?"

"Then you leave me behind."

"I couldn't do that!" Kairi protested.

Roxas came to a dead halt and looked her in the eye. "Can you take me to C.O.?" he countered.

Kairi grimaced.

"No….."

"Then you leave me behind," Roxas said. He turned away from her and took three large steps to catch up to Riku, as if to "end" the conversation.

Kairi rolled her eyes at his attempt. "Boys…" she groaned.


	222. hard it is

DID YOU HEAR? KH2.5 GOT A TRAILER + A RELEASE DATE! YEAH. (release date is Oct for Japan and Dec for America and Europe)

* * *

><p>Namine pressed her palms and back against the wall, trying to take deep breaths and keep herself calm. That was hard, though. It'd been hard ever since she got here. The minutes had ticked on, and there'd been absolutely no sign of Riku—or anyone. She'd been alone in here until quite recently, in fact.<p>

L had just walked in—_walked, _not corridored—pushing the cell door open with a hand. Namine could hear 37's muffled voice coming through the walkie-talkie at L's belt, not that she could hear what he was saying from this distance.

_Of course, _she told herself, trying to distract herself. Calm herself. _The dark corridors—blocked. To delay Riku. That's why he isn't here yet. He's coming. Any second now._

Namine reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks, a nervous gesture. And, maybe, a gesture she shouldn't have let L see. Oh well. It was too late now.

She pressed herself further against the wall as L drew nearer.

"C'mon," L said, looking down at Namine with her nose turned up. "Let's get this other with—and try not to struggle. It'll only make things more difficult."

Namine cringed at the words, her heart halting in her chest. Her breaths came in chokes, and she clenched her hands into fists. Dug her fingernails into her palms. Pain. To distract herself. She wouldn't let the words—the memories—take her now.

The déjà vu of this moment was hard to ignore, though, especially as she sunk to the ground. Riku'd been here before.

"I don't wanna go," Namine mumbled, the tears welling up in her eyes again. "I don't wanna go I don't wanna go."

"Aww, are you upset?" L asked, mockingly. "Scared of being Rewritten?"

"_How would you feel!?_" Namine screamed—she pounded her fist against the wall. It hurt. Who cared? She didn't. She cringed away as L's face fell into a glare, though.

"Need me to do something?" 37 asked, over the walkie-talkie, his voice interspersed with static.

L's eyes narrowed further, but with frustration, not anger or hatred or any of the emotions Namine feared seeing on her face. L snatched the walkie-talkie from her belt, held it up to her mouth.

"I've _got this_," she hissed.

"If she's causing trouble…" 37 began.

"No." L smiled, just slightly. Amused. Another emotion Namine didn't want to see. "Let her speak."

Namine swallowed. Her throat was dry. More than dry. All words had left her, now that she had permission to speak. All the things she'd thought about saying—gone. Every word.

L chuckled and rolled her eyes, clearly knowing that Namine had nothing to say.

Then the words tumbled from Namine's mouth:

"How would you feel, if you were in my place?"

The words surprised her, but she went with them.

"How would- how would _either_ of you feel? Threatened with the thought of being Re- Rewritten and- and… had to kill—"

Those were all the words she had.

She didn't dare say the unspeakable.

"I'd be scared," 37 said.

"Shut up!" L snapped.

"How- how _would _you feel?" Namine repeated, somehow finding the strength to look L in the eye. "If you had to kill him. 37. And you had no- no choice. Wouldn't you be scared? Scared to death?"

L just pursed her lips. She looked a little uneasy—but she didn't open her mouth to answer the question.

Namine gulped.

The adrenaline and her bravery was gone.

She let out a shuddering breath and slumped back against the wall. She rest her cheek against it. Clutched at her face with a hand. Crying. Sobbing.

"Riku… where _are _you?"

She'd betted with her life—trusted he'd get to her as soon as possible, but he'd failed her.

_No, _she told herself. _It's not his fault. His fastest just isn't fast enough. It's not his fault. It's mine._

The dread hung over her like a cloud. One of her worst nightmares was about to come true, and all because she'd willingly thrown herself into it. Riku's fastest wasn't fast enough, and even if she could stall—

Wait a minute.

Stalling.

She straightened, fumbling for words to delay L dragging her off. She said the first ones that came to mind:

"I'm never gonna see Riku again… Never- never gonna see him again…" The weight of that reality settled heavy on her chest, but she choked past it, trying not to think too hard about it. "I'll never- never get to see his smile never- never hear him laugh again, I—"

Her words were lost to tears. Of all things she could've said, this was definitely the worst. She really wouldn't see him again. She was out of time. She'd never see him again, never feel his warmth, his arms holding her close to him… her cheek pressed to his chest… his chin on her head…

She'd never see him smile again. Not the angry smirk, the too-cocky grin—as awful as they were, they were still quite beautiful. So very him. And his other smile—the rare smile that was like sunshine when she saw it—she wouldn't have the chance to see it again, either. Nor the red flush of embarrassed cheeks as he quickly turned away.

She wouldn't see him cry—no. She would see him cry. And hopefully, it'd be one of the last things she saw. Hopefully he'd keep his promise. Hopefully he wouldn't let her—

L grabbed her by the forearm, and Namine screamed.

"NO!" she cried. She refused to resign herself to her fate. "NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS PLEASE. PLEASE YOU CAN'T YOU CAN'T."

"Stop being so melodramatic," L muttered, dragging Namine to her feet. "Of course you'll see him again."

"And then one of us is gonna die!" She squeezed her eyes shut. "_I hope it's me._"

"We'll make sure it isn't," L said. Her voice was sweet. Too sweet.

Namine screamed again, in horror. She wasn't sure what she was saying—if she was saying anything—but she couldn't let this happen. Couldn't. _Couldn't… _

_…couldn't _do anything about it.

"C'mon," L grumbled, reaching for her walkie-talkie. "37—"

"PLEASE DON'T DO THIS PLEASE!" Namine yelled. "NO NOT YET PLEASE WAIT PLEASE JUST WAIT!"

"Why?" L dropped the walkie-talkie and wrapped a hand around Namine's throat, effectively stifling her screams. L brought their faces together, a fury burning in her eyes. "So Riku can rescue you before we finish our job?" she asked, then scoffed. "I don't _think_ so."

She dropped Namine.

Namine registered hitting the ground, and gasping for air, and then everything went black.

**_xXx_**

L looked down at the collapsed Namine, and clucked her tongue. She bent down to first retrieve her walkie-talkie, then picked Namine up and slung her over her shoulder.

"I should've done that sooner," 37 sighed. L could hear him tapping away at the computer in the background. "Dark corridors are enabled again. Get up here."

L formed a dark corridor around herself. "It would've caused less hassle," she agreed, annoyed, as she and Namine arrived in the editing room. Disabling Namine right off the bat _would _have been the _smarter _course of action, certainly.

She threw Namine down on the table in front of her, then looked to her left at 37. He'd stopped typing, just lightly drummed his fingers against the keys for a moment.

"I was being kind, actually," he clarified.

L raised her eyebrows, surprised. Doubtful.

He looked up at her, then rolled his eyes at the face he was giving her. "I'm not heartless. The least I could've done for her was let her be blissfully unaware and unable to process the fear she was feeling."

L looked away. Swallowed. Looked at Namine for a moment, then looked at the floor.

"…maybe it was noble to let her have one last struggle," she muttered, then added distastefully: "I _suppose_."

"What makes you say that?" 37 asked. Clearly he'd noticed she actually _meant _her words.

L didn't respond, though.

"Well, let's get on with it!" 37 said, cheerfully, laughing a little. For her. "If we dwell too much longer on what was best for Namine, we may not have the heart to go through with Rewriting her."

L snorted.

"Like that'd happen."

**_xXx_**

Sora found himself gaping as he looked around the room. While it wasn't as impressive as Castle Oblivion's surveillance room, the surveillance room in the World that Never Was was still fairly impressive. It was definitely more technology than Sora had ever seen in one room. There were about nine different monitors on the wall, showing different parts of the castle.

"Do you know how to work this?" he asked, turning to Joseph.

Joseph had already plopped down in the chair, and was swiveling slightly from side to side. "Yeah, of course!" he laughed. "Keep an eye on the door, though, would you? We wouldn't want to get caught."

Sora figured that was an incredibly valid point, and went to stand guard.

"What's that?" Toby asked. Sora turned to look at them just long enough to see Toby leaning over the keyboard and pointing at something on the screen. Joseph rattled off some area name and room number that meant absolutely nothing to Sora, and he doubted it meant anything to Toby, either. He was surprised _Joseph_ understood it.

"Mmm… the dungeon's probably a good place to check, huh?" Joseph muttered to himself.

"I don't see him," Toby said.

"No. Oh well. He's gotta be in this castle somewhere."

"Where's that?" Toby asked, again. Joseph responded with another rattling of an area/room number, and they continued on like that for a while. Joseph clicked and typed away at the computer, busily, muttering to himself between answering Toby's questions. (Which had gone from "where's that?" to "how'd you do that? How does it work?" and so on.)

After a few minutes, Sora turned around to look at them.

"Aren't you gonna get in trouble for this?"

"Yeah, probably." Joseph just shrugged. "But the worst 29 can really do is take away my video games…. or make me clean all of C.O. again…" Joseph grimaced a little at that. "But if it means saving Vexen, it's worth it!"

Sora nodded, thinking it was rather sweet of the kid. Noble, even? He didn't know much about Vexen—they hadn't interacted much and it'd been quite some time ago—but he didn't seem like the kind of man you'd go out of your way to rescue. Then again, Joseph obviously knew Vexen better than Sora did, so maybe he shouldn't judge.

"There!" Toby exclaimed. Sora turned to look at them, more interested in what they were doing than the door. The hallway seemed completely empty, anyway, and they should be able to hear someone coming.

Joseph leaned forward to squint at the screen. "Y'sure that's him…?" he said, slowly.

Sora sent one last look down the hallway, then came over to look. "I dunno, looks like there's someone guarding the door," he pointed. "Don't know why anyone would be guarding a Replica."

"Good point," Joseph said. "Alright… let's—wait a minute! That's Namine!"

He pointed at one of the top screens. Sora slapped his hand away to clear his view, squinting at the screen.

"That really her?" Toby stood on tiptoe to try and get a closer look.

"Mmhmm!" Joseph nodded. "West wing—editing room… oh….." Joseph's cheerful tone dropped immediately, eyes going wide. "Oh no."

"What?" Sora asked, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. There were only three people in the room. A Vexen, typing away at the computer. A Larxene, pacing and making wide gestures and from the looks of it talking rapidly. The last person in the room was Namine, lying on what almost looked like a table—her eyes were completely shut, and she almost looked serene.

"Looks like… they're _already_- w- working on Rewriting her…" Joseph had to force the words out of his mouth, and his voice was filled with dread.

"That's bad?" Toby asked.

"That's _really _bad."

Joseph's voice shook with fear.

"Should we go after her?" Sora asked. It wasn't even a question in his mind—Namine was much more important than Vexen.

"What about Riku?" Toby squinted at the screens.

Joseph navigated to a different section. "There!" He pointed, then he groaned. "He's close, but I don't think he's close enough!"

"Then let's go after her ourselves!" Sora said. He wasn't sure what they could do, but, at the very least, they could do _something. _It was only two people in the room, and all they really needed to do was get the Vexen away from the computer… And maybe figure out how to wake Namine.

"On it!" Joseph reached out to form a dark corridor, then reached his hand through experimentally. He hissed in pain after a moment, pulling his hand back out. "Blocked," he sighed, shaking his hand and closing the corridor. "But I can aim close."

He formed another dark corridor, and without hesitation stepped through. Sora waited long enough to make sure Toby got through, then went through himself.

Unfortunately, Xigbar was standing in their path.

"Nice to see you here, squirt!" Xigbar laughed, loading his guns. "Surprised Daddy 29 let you come, though."

"He didn't," Joseph replied, looking surprisingly threatening for a twelve-year-old with no weapon.

"Mmm… nope! Not surprised!" Xigbar just laughed again. "Now get out of here. My fight's not with you."

Joseph sent a glance over at Sora, then at Toby. Then he nodded, and opened his mouth—

"Go!" Sora shouted, pulling him back. "Get out of here!"

"But we need to get to Namine!" Joseph protested.

"I know. And I'll go to her as soon as I'm done here."

"She's down that hall. Third door on the right. I think." Joseph pointed to the hallway. "Definitely that hallway, though."

"Got it!"

"Try 'n hurry!" Joseph called, as he grabbed Toby by the hand and started running the opposite way of Xigbar. "I don't think we have much time!"

"Go see if you can get Riku!" Sora called after him, and then turned around to face Xigbar.

"My fight's not with you, either, kiddo," Xigbar said. He'd grown a lot more menacing since Joseph left the room. "You be on your way, too, and there's no need for you to get hurt."

Sora just summoned his blade. "Don't call me kiddo!" he cried, rushing forward to attack.


	223. to come

heyo! E3 2014's been a lot of fun so far-I'll have a post about it up on Friday! It ends officially tomorrow, but there's no telling how much info will be released throughout the day and I might miss something if I post it too early. (The most exciting bits have definitely been Zelda and Midna in Hyrule Warriors + Zelda U looks _super cool _+ Palutena for Smash Bros + Splatoon looks like so much fun)

Also, magik (aka forevermagik13) has got book 3 of her fic up! It's called "Remnants". Check it out if you've been following her stuff

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><p>"I kinda feel sorry for killing Demyx, to be honest…." Kairi said.<p>

Roxas turned to look at her, a little surprised. She was rubbing her arm, nervously, and her pace was uneven.

He frowned. "This the first time you killed anyone?" he asked.

"_Duh,_" she replied, rolling her eyes. "Killing people isn't exactly a _normal _thing—well, it's not for anyone that isn't one of you two."

Roxas couldn't quite argue with that one—though it wasn't like he'd killed _a lot _of people. The only person he could _remember _killing was Demyx…

"I don't feel sorry for him," Riku called back.

"That's mean!" Kairi scolded. "I mean, he was only doing his job and…" she trailed off. Whether it was because she hadn't planned on what she'd say after that, or if she didn't want to admit to killing him, Roxas wasn't quite sure. He had a feeling it was the latter, though.

"He's not really dead," Riku said. He was rather impatient about saying it, though, and didn't slow his pace at all.

"Oh yeah!" Roxas exclaimed, running a bit to attempt to catch up with Riku. Of course, that just made Riku walk even _faster. _"Axel mentioned something about that," Roxas continued, ignoring Riku's increasing pace. "Do you know anything?

"Apparently the entire Organization should come back later, according to some friends of mine," Riku replied, distractedly. "I forget the exact details, why..."

Roxas stared. _Come back? _Axel would just _poof _come back? It seemed too good to be true. And did that include Xion? Though, she wasn't a part of the Organization… and maybe it only applied to Nobodies…

But…

"You trust these friends of yours?" he asked Riku. He needed clarification. How could Riku be sure his friends were right?

"Well, they live in a parallel universe that runs three times faster than ours and have already seen it happen soooo…" Riku sent a look back at Roxas. "Yeah, I do."

"Parallel… _universe…_" Roxas began, but before he could finish with his skepticism or get an answer, Joseph came running in from the next area, tailed shortly by a red-haired boy Roxas wasn't sure he recognized. Toby, he thought his name was. Maybe. Though it might've been Tony….

Joseph skidded to a halt rather abruptly, stopping short only a few feet in front of Riku. Toby (or Tony) didn't stop, and ended up running into Joseph and promptly fell on his butt.

"I know where Namine is," Joseph blurted.

"Shouldn't you two be…? _Not_ here?" Kairi interrupted.

"YEAH BUT NAMINE'S IN THE EDITING ROOM RIGHT NOW and it looks like they've already started working on her," Joseph said. Toby nodded furiously behind him. "Me 'n Sora tried to get there and stop them but Xigbar was in the way."

"Well, we can take him," Roxas said. "I mean, between the three of us, anyway. It's just him, right, not his clone, too?"

"Mmhmm."

"Actually, Roxas, there are four of us," Kairi corrected. "Counting Sora."

Roxas frowned at her. "I counted Sora. Who'd I miss—oh." Who he'd missed became rather obvious as Kairi glared quite impressively at him. "I missed you."

"_Again._"

Roxas shrugged.

"Sora's still up there with Xigbar, yeah?" Kairi asked, turning her attention to Joseph and Toby again. "And you never did answer about whether or not—"

"There's no time!" Toby interrupted. "It's Really Bad! You gotta go right now!"

"Then let's go!" Riku shouted. He was already half way into the next area.

Three Berserkers blocked his path before he could get any further than that. He swore, quite loudly, and Joseph quickly covered Toby's ears and yelled: "Riku! _Language!_"

Riku ignored him entirely, furiously attacking the Berserkers. He was still cursing.

Roxas chucked a Keyblade at one of the Berserkers, and started over that direction to help Riku out. But then Saix appeared, blocking the airborne Keyblade with his claymore.

Roxas glared and summoned his Keyblade back to him.

"Riku! Go ahead!" Kairi called to him. "Just go ahead!"

Riku listened without question, and darted past the Berserkers the moment there was an opening.

Saix growled and turned to go after Riku. Roxas rushed to put himself in Saix's way. Kairi was soon there beside him, and then Joseph was, and then Toby. Kairi looked determined. Joseph was glaring furiously. Toby was trembling with fear, but he was trying so hard to hide it that Roxas decided not to say anything about it.

He stepped forward, blades bared. "_You _killed Xion!" he spat at Saix, eyes narrowing.

Saix rolled his eyes, completely unamused. "And _you_, if I remember correctly. Axel insisted on bringing you _back._"

That threw Roxas off. He didn't remember dying. Though, he supposed he _wouldn't. _And… Axel'd brought him _back? _How? When did he die? He'd been told he'd been—

Saix lunged at him, brought his claymore down over his head. Roxas had his blades up to block just barely in time. It wasn't enough. Saix broke his defenses, swung again. The claymore hit Roxas in the stomach this time, and the blow sent him into the opposite wall.

Roxas groaned. Shook his head. Clutched his stomach. The wound seemed pretty bad, so he cast Curaga, deciding to sit a moment in its healing pool. He prepared himself with a regular Cure just in case he had to get up right away, but, for the moment, everyone was distracted. Kairi had a Berserker to deal with, and was actually fighting it just fine. Saix was, for some reason, focusing his attention on Joseph. Joseph could dart away from Saix's heavy blows with ease, but he seemed to grow more distracted with every passing second.

Roxas sighed and got to his feet, tossing up the Cure. If he didn't get Saix's attention back on him _now, _Joseph wouldn't last.

Roxas had only taken two steps when the area suddenly exploded with light and heat and flame. Roxas braced himself against it, but still skidded back a few paces. When the light finally cleared, Kairi was cringing, Joseph was dusting himself off, and Toby collapsed. Roxas wasn't quite surprised about that bit, though. The attack had obviously been Toby's, and it had looked big enough to wear even Axel out.

So Roxas stepped past Toby and went over to Saix. Saix was very clearly still alive, seeing as he was clutching his face and screaming in agony. Surprisingly—or, unsurprisingly—his cloak didn't seem burned in the slightest. His hair was singed, however, and Roxas didn't dare wonder how his face might look.

"Saix looks pretty scorched," Roxas laughed, turning for a moment to look over at Toby. It looked like Joseph was helping him up. Saix moved, then, drawing Roxas's attention again.

Saix pushed himself up, glaring—Roxas assumed he was glaring—at Toby.

"I should've killed you when- the moment I- I _found _you!" Saix coughed. Despite the cough in between every other word, the venom in his tone was clear.

Roxas raised a blade and shoved it through Saix's gut then and there. He started fading immediately. Clearly Toby's attack had done even more damage than Roxas had initially thought.

Roxas turned around to congratulate the boy, but it was then that he realized that Joseph was holding Toby in his arms. Shaking him. Screaming.

"Toby! _Toby!_"

**_xXx_**

He'd been afraid. That was all. Toby'd been afraid and the fear had burned through him like fire—something he knew all too well and yet even it, he feared. There was so much going on. So much happening.

Saix had nearly killed Joseph at least three times. Toby thought it was a miracle Joseph was still dodging him now. The nice girl with red hair—Kairi—was being attacked by one of those huge and quite scary Nobodies that Saix controlled. The blond boy—had someone said his name was Roxas?—was down. Wasn't getting up.

Toby didn't know what to do. He thought maybe he should help but he wasn't sure how. And, frankly, he was terrified. Of all of this. He hated fighting. He hated—no—was _horrified _of Saix. He wanted to run. He wanted to get out of here but there was nowhere to go to and Joseph wouldn't listen even if he said they should leave.

Too much was happening.

He bent over, clutching at his head and curling his hands into fists. Maybe he could curl in on himself and vanish. Maybe he could…

The fear-fire raged through him, threatening to consume him and all his thoughts. He wanted to get away from Saix. He wanted to help. _He wanted Saix gone. _And the fear-fire just burned stronger, beating at him, until he wanted to scream and _stop being so afraid. _

And then, quite suddenly, it exploded from him. The fear? No… but… the fire. Yes. The fire, shooting out of him as he threw his arms back. Everything was all heat and light and flame, which was wonderful. Saix screamed, and that was even better. Toby'd done it, somehow. He'd helped. He'd—

And then it all went wrong.

The energy shook him, snapped through his poor and incredibly fragile body like a whip. Everything seemed to stop. Sparks of flame caught in the air around him. And in that frozen moment, he could feel fire. Burning at him—but his skin wasn't burning.

Something was.

Something was so terribly wrong, and it horrified him. It wasn't supposed to do this. Was it? He'd never been sure what his powers were supposed to do, but this couldn't have been right.

Time picked up again, and the energy flung him to the ground. He felt the floor hit his back, and the air rush out of his lungs, and then his vision went black. The energy left him in a rush. It was too strong. Too powerful. Too much for him to contain—

And then there was nothing.

No feeling.

No energy.

No terror.

Nothing.

**_xXx_**

It'd been a moment of great pride and awe for his friend, up until the point where Joseph straightened and turned to Toby. Toby collapsed to the ground like a rag doll. The pride quickly became concern, and the concern turned to dread when Joseph reached Toby. A gentle nudge didn't rouse him. Neither did a playful kick to the side.

It was then that Joseph noticed that it didn't look like Toby was…. no.

_No._

He took the boy in his arms, shaking him furiously.

"Toby!" he shouted. "_Toby!_"

Nothing.

"What's wrong?" Kairi asked, kneeling down next to him.

"He collapsed and- and-" Joseph wasn't sure what to say, so he broke off and went back to trying to get Toby to wake up. "Toby! C'mon! C'mon, _please!_"

"Probably just wore himself out," Roxas said, casually. "With an attack that big—put too much into it, I'd gather."

Joseph stared up at him, confused. "Huh?"

"Lexaeus—well, one of his Replicas—warned against that when teaching me about limits," Roxas explained. "'Never put too much of yourself into an attack', he'd said. 'Especially not when you're that low on health'. It really drains you, doing an attack like that, and if you use up too much of your energy…"

Roxas trailed off there. Joseph didn't want to think about how that ended.

"But he! He wasn't hurt!" Joseph protested, frantically. "How could it of? I- I mean. It was one attack…"

"Joseph, I know, but he's also like… what? 8? 9?" Kairi shrugged, then smiled reassuringly. Or she tried to. Joseph wasn't exactly reassured. "I know kids have a lot of energy, but they don't have a lot of stamina…"

"Just give him some time," Roxas added. "I'm sure he'll get back up eventually."

Joseph swallowed, biting back tears. They thought he was just asleep. And he wanted to think that, too, but…

But he pressed an ear to Toby's chest, confirming his doubts—his fears.

"He's- he's not breathing-" he choked.

Kairi's face flared with shock, eyes wide, smile falling. She moved Joseph away so she could press her own ear to Toby's chest. She stayed there for an agonizing one… two… three seconds and then she straightened. Joseph didn't quite catch the word she said under her breath, but it didn't sound good.

Joseph turned his attention back to Toby, shaking him again, biting back tears. "Toby!" he shouted, again. Maybe- maybe they were wrong. Maybe both he and Kairi were wrong. Maybe…

"Toby please! C'mon, c'mon _please_ wake up please please please come _on._" The words tumbled from his mouth in a horrible painful mess, saliva mixing with tears and he buried his face in Toby's shirt. "_Please _please _please _don't- don't- just- just wake up _please—_"

Quite violently, Toby was ripped from his arms. Joseph reached for him, clutched at him, screaming, shouting, but Roxas managed to break his grip all too easily. He slung Toby over his shoulder. His face was stern, but sympathetic.

"C'mon," Roxas said. "We'll take him back to C.O. to see what they can do."

Joseph got to his feet. His knees were like jelly and he thought he'd collapse, too. He didn't even exactly want to get up… But he did. Sniffling. Tears still pouring down his cheeks. He tried to wipe the tears away, but after many attempts he realized it was no use and was only making his eyes hurt and his cheeks raw.

"But- but he's…" The words caught in Joseph's throat. He couldn't say them. "What good is taking him to C.O. gonna do?" he asked. "I mean, he's not—"

"I know it looks bad," Roxas interrupted. "But… I mean, he's a Replica. Shi—Things happen." He coughed. "It could just be a Programming error. Who knows. Maybe he's not really down for the count."

"If you say so…" Joseph mumbled.

"Hey," Roxas grinned widely. "Apparently I was brought back from the dead once. Why can't he be brought back, too?"

That didn't make Joseph feel any better.

He rubbed at his head, furiously. This was probably his fault—oh, he was so _stupid _sometimes! Why hadn't he thought this _through? _Or listened to 29's warnings not to come here… or ran with Toby once Saix had shown up… or…

_Don't think about it! _he told himself. He shook his head, violently, trying to shake the bad thoughts out. _It's _not_ all your fault. It can't be._

He looked up again, just in time to see Kairi hurry off to the next area. He hadn't heard her conversation with Roxas, but he assumed that Kairi was going to go catch up with Riku. And Sora should still be up there, too. That was good. At least something was good.

Joseph tried not to worry about Namine, though—the thought of her had come back to him all of a sudden. And thinking of her lying in the editing room, peacefully asleep as her data was messed with was bad as the sight of Toby, hanging lifeless across Roxas's back. Joseph tried not to dwell on that long, either. Two of his friends…

He shook his head again, and set his mind on figuring out how to explain this to 29 when they got to C.O. He set his mind on how to explain why he'd thought this had been a good idea…

Except, in all honestly, he couldn't remember that reason anymore.


	224. up with

Heyo, figured a quick question was in order: any preference on me uploading a new chapter twice a week vs once a week?  
>I think I'd prefer to upload twice a week (so that I'm not posting the ending three or four months after I've written it), but I know twice a week is <em>a lot <em>especially if you're trying to catch up.

Please leave a review with your thoughts. I really don't care if all you do is answer this question and don't even mention the events of the story. Otherwise I'm probably gonna keep with twice a week.

Also, if you're curious about my thoughts on 2014's E3, I do have a post on the blog about it. (it's under the "game news" label if you're having trouble finding it)

anyway! enjoy! (if I can even legitimately tell you to do that anymore...? ha...ha... *shifty glance*)

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><p>Roxas took them to the Main Room of C.O., not sure if there was a better place to go. It turned out to be a good idea, Roxas realized, as 29 came rushing over.<p>

"Ah! There you are!" 29 said. "I was just about to go after—" He paused, looking first at the sniveling Joseph then at Roxas with Toby slung over his shoulder. The color immediately drained from his face. "What happened?"

Joseph said something, but Roxas couldn't understand it through the sniffling. He shook his head and gave 29 the rundown himself. How Joseph and Toby had shown up out of nowhere, followed by Toby's attack, and how Toby'd collapsed.

"I can see he collapsed," 29 said, quite plainly. Had it been any other moment, he might've laughed with it.

Roxas shrugged, careful not to displace Toby in the process. "I'm not sure if he passed out or what, but he's not exactly breathing—then again, that's not _exactly _a bad sign for a Replica, is it?"

"It's not a good one…" 29 swallowed. "But, I suppose it's not the worst." He sent a hesitant glance at Joseph, then reached up to his ear to turn on his comset. "7?" Pause. A nod. "Yeah. The sooner the better." He pulled his hand away from his ear, then looked apologetically at Roxas. "Can you hold him for just a bit more?"

Roxas nodded. "Sure."

29 turned his attention to Joseph now, slowly squatting down so he was on eye-level with the boy. "You know, this is why I didn't want you to go."

Joseph nodded and rubbed his eyes.

"I kn-know I'm sor-sorry I'm s-so sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." 29 reached into his pocket and produced a handful of tissues, which he promptly handed to Joseph. Joseph took them thankfully and blew his nose. He ended up dropping a few of the tissues, but 29 picked them back up and held them until Joseph needed them.

"I should've gone after you sooner," 29 continued, with a distraught sigh. "I figured you were up to something, but I also wanted to… to try and give you the benefit of the doubt and trust you'd be true to your word…"

The words didn't appear to comfort Joseph in the slightest.

"I'm s-sorry I-I'm sor_ry,_" he stammered through a new set of tears. "I'm s_or_ry th- th- I'm an awful li-liar I'm sorry I have su-uch terrible ideas I'm sorry I—"

"No, no!" 29 interrupted him, grabbed him by the shoulders. The suddenness was enough to jolt Joseph's tears to a halt. "No," 29 repeated. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that it's my job to keep you safe and I failed."

"…I was- was the one who- who went….."

Someone else cleared their throat, and Roxas looked up. It was 7. 7's eyes shifted nervously between Roxas's face and Toby's body.

"What happened?" 7 asked. Roxas opened his mouth to speak, but 7 held up his hand to stop him. "_Besides _the obvious Joseph and Toby snuck off without permission."

Roxas nodded, took a second to re-gather his thoughts, then explained it all again. How they'd been fighting Saix. How Toby'd let out the large attack—large enough to all but kill Saix—and then collapsed. He told 7 _why _he thought Toby'd collapsed, too. That he may have just used too much of his energy. Maybe it was a failsafe to keep him _from _using too much energy.

7 asked a few more questions, and Roxas did his best to answer them. Of course, he only knew as much as he'd seen—which was only so much. There hadn't been much _to _see.

"Alright," 7 said, finally. "Hand him here."

Roxas handed Toby over. 7 sent a look at 29, who was still comforting Joseph, and then sighed and headed off.

"I j-just wa-wanted to help Vexen," Joseph sobbed, the catch in his voice even worse now. "N-no one was goin' after- goin' after him and I- I just thought… y'know…"

Roxas cocked his head to the side. Clucked his tongue. "Would me going 'n saving Vexen make you feel better?" he asked.

Joseph looked up at him for a long moment, bewildered. Then he nodded.

Roxas nodded back.

"Okay. Great. I'll go do that."

It couldn't be that hard, right? Last he checked, it was only Xigbar—or maybe his clone—guarding him, and if it wasn't Xigbar, it was just a pair of Replicas. Which two depended on who was available, but Roxas was fairly confident he could take them.

"Wait a minute." 29 looked up at him, squinting. "Are you on our side, now?"

"I thought that'd be obvious…" Roxas replied.

"There's a slight difference between helping Joseph out and actually being on our side," 29 said.

Roxas supposed he couldn't exactly deny that.

"Well, I guess I am," he said, with a shrug. "More or less."

"More or less…?" 29 repeated.

"See ya!" Roxas waved, and opened a dark corridor around himself.

**_xXx_**

Sora ran and didn't dare stop, despite the fact he was being forced to run around in circles and was starting to get dizzy. Xigbar'd manipulated the space around them so Sora was confined to a small square of ground that was hardly enough to run a full circle in. Xigbar was… who knew where, shooting more bullets at Sora than should've been possible. He was going for amount more than accuracy, though, so as long as Sora kept moving he wouldn't be hit. Probably. It was still the ten most terrifying seconds of his life.

But then the onslaught stopped and in a flash the space around them returned to normal. Sora sent a glare at Xigbar.

"Are you _trying _to kill me?"

"Kill you? As if! More like, hmm…" Xigbar reloaded his guns as he searched for the word. "_Incapacitate _you," he settled on, smirking. He was upside down again, making the smirk even more unpleasant. "See, we need a fresh scan of your data and that's easiest to get when you're out cold."

"I don't believe you."

"What? About needing a fresh scan of data?"

"No, about not trying to kill me."

Xigbar laughed. "Trust me, kiddo, if those bullets had hit you, they'd knock you out long before killing you."

Xigbar unloaded both of his clips at Sora. Sora rolled out of the way.

"What do you want me for?" he demanded as he came up out of his roll.

"Need another Replica of you," Xigbar shrugged, reloading again. Sora wondered where he even kept all the extra ammo… or was it magic? But then why did he even have to reload? Just for the show of it? Regardless. "Roxas ran off again—no surprise."

"Aha!" Sora laughed. "So you don't have a Keyblade w—oh." He glared. "I won't let you have me! My data! Whatever!"

He bared his blade and rushed forward, as Xigbar laughed. The laugh cut off into a grunt. Sora'd hit him roughly in the face—the downside to hanging upside down in mid-air. He warped away before Sora could land a second blow.

"I won't let you have Kingdom Hearts, either!" Sora shouted, rounding to face Xigbar.

"Didn't you hear your mouse friend?" Xigbar called. Sora couldn't quite see his grin, but he could hear it. "It's not the _real _Kingdom Hearts."

"I still won't—mm!"

Sora broke off, as Riku rushed in and attacked Xigbar from behind. He was able to deal a total of three blows before landing and rolling out of the way of Xigbar's bullets.

"Kingdom-what-now?" he asked, taking his fighting stance. Quite frankly, Sora was relieved to see him. He was pretty exhausted, having not rested after fighting Luxord. And at the rate he and Xigbar were (not) fighting, he was going pass out before Xigbar was anywhere _near _dead. Not to mention he wasn't even sure if he wanted to kill Xigbar… he couldn't let Xigbar have his data but….

Sora shook his head and focused on a more pressing issue. "You don't know what Kingdom Hearts is?" he asked, Riku. Once he'd said it, though, he remembered he hadn't known what it was until very recently. Oh well.

"Maybe I do." Riku shrugged. "Axel might've mentioned it. Dunno. Don't care." He looked at Xigbar. "Here for Namine. You. In my way. Best move."

That's right. Namine. She was in danger, too. Another reason Xigbar had to—why they had to get Xigbar out of the way.

"Hey! Look who finally showed up!" Xigbar replied. "I was waiting for you—supposed to stall you. Kiddo here said he was gonna try and go after Namine, though. Plus I need him for something."

"Don't care," Riku repeated. "I said _move._" He sounded tired. Irritable, too—obviously—but… tired. It was a strange thing to hear in Riku's voce.

"Ain't gonna happen anytime soon!" Xigbar readied his guns, fired.

The next minute or so when by in a blur of attacking, Riku screaming, and dodging bullets. Sora was quite sure he _was _going to pass out from exhaustion when he heard footsteps. He didn't recognize them at first, but once he saw who it was he about kicked himself.

"Kairi!?" he gasped. His heart was somewhere in his throat.

She hardly spared him a glance. "Yeah. Hi. Battle. Talk later."

She was about as eloquent with her words as Riku was. As in, _not at all._

"Ohho! So your girlfriend's here, huh?" Xigbar couldn't have sounded more amused.

"Wha?" was all Sora could get out, still trying to process everything. Riku's continued screaming and attacking and Xigbar warping to avoid him only made it more difficult.

"I am not his girlfriend!" Kairi snapped. "Also don't _pull_ that!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Kairi groaned. "Sora I _swear _if he starts purposefully shooting everything at me to get you to protect me or whatever instead of attacking him _ignore it,_" she called over to him, too busy dodging bullets to send a look his way. "I'll be _fine._"

"Uhm? Okay." Sora stammered, a little confused. Kairi was here. Why was she here? When had she gotten so good at fighting—well she wasn't exactly _good _but she wasn't _bad _either. Hadn't she _hated _fighting when they were kids? And more importantly _shouldn't she be mad at him? _Or had that just been… had he just…

He pushed the thought aside. It hurt his head too much to think about. "Why are yo—"

"SORA I SAID NOT NOW!" Kairi interrupted, sending a glare at him. "There is a battle plus a ticking clock we can talk _later!_"

She sounded angry. But that was at the circumstances. Right? Sora swallowed.

"S-sorry," he stammered. "Sorry. You're right. Sorry. I- I knew that. I- s-sorry."

Kairi looked at him again, pausing, frowning.

"Are you okay?" she asked. The anger was gone from her voice, replaced by concern.

"Yes," Sora replied, automatically. Then paused. "No? I'm…" This was _Kairi _he was talking to. He needn't be so… _worried._ "Exhausted," he said. "Absolutely exhausted."

Kairi sent a look over at Xigbar—thankfully, he was more than occupied with Riku. Or, he _appeared _to be, at least.

"I've got an ether if you want it," Kairi told Sora, reaching for her bag.

"Well if you've only got one, you better make Riku drink it," Sora said. He didn't look at her. Couldn't, now that her attention was on him. He knew Riku was worn out, too. He could see it in the way Riku fought. It wasn't as precise as normal. "He needs it more."

"I've got more than one," Kairi said. Sora looked at her long enough to see her roll her eyes.

"Riku still needs one more."

There was no question about it. Riku was the one who needed to go on. He needed it more than either of them.

Kairi sent a miffed look at Sora. "_Yeah_, and how the hell am I gonna make him dr—hang on." She turned and started rummaging around in her bag.

"I'll cover you," Sora said. He didn't even think about it. The words just fell out of his mouth and he moved closer to her so he could block any bullets Xigbar might send their way. Xigbar was still pretty focused on Riku, though—obviously, Riku was his primary target. Apparently stalling Riku was more important than that scan Xigbar'd needed of Sora's data…

Sora sent a look over his shoulder at Kairi. This was weird. Well, it was _natural,_ like they'd been doing this forever, and _that _was weird. He hadn't expected to fall back into this rhythm with her right away. Actually, he'd anticipated for so long that she'd hate him that he'd never once considered the fact that things might _ever _be the same between them again.

And yet here they were.

He chuckled a little, in disbelief. Standing here now, next to her, it was almost hard to remember why he'd ever thought she'd be mad at him. But if he thought about it too much, it'd all come rushing back to him. The yelling. Avoiding her. All the things he'd said—

Sora shook his head and pushed those thoughts aside. Later. He'd think about it later, like Kairi'd said. They had a battle to worry about now.

"Aha!" Kairi exclaimed, producing a bottle from her bag. "Thank you, Aerith," she sighed, and downed it immediately. Sora wasn't quite sure what it was, but judging by the color it was _some _type of ether.

The moment the liquid hit Kairi's lips, Sora felt energy flooding through him again. He started to feel less tired. A little stronger, too, but maybe that was over-confidence…

"What was that?" he asked.

"Mega-ether," Kairi said, grinning. "Means Riku got it too."

Sora smiled, a little. "Thanks."

"Uhuh. Now back to fighting what's-his-name!" Kairi tossed up a Cure for all of them, and then rushed at Xigbar, light burning at her fingertips. Sora tried not to stare as he rushed in to attack, too.


	225. chapter titles

You probably knew this but I saw How to Train Your Dragon 2 recently and it was really good you all should go see it too. and don't just stream it online somewhere - apparently Dream Works really needs the money from it (plus if it flops that means no sequel)

Also I keep forgetting to mention but I have this neat AU idea for the fic where Riku + Namine + Kairi + Sora end up in this castle and forget their memories and they regain their memories as they escape the castle.  
>The chances of the AU going far are slim but I did write a potential first chapter. It and all other posts are on my tumblr under the "ftp memory au" tag (tagged/ftp-memory-au). Or if you want a handy link the ch225 blog post has that.

* * *

><p>Xigbar hit the ground with a groan that quickly turned into a laugh. He pushed himself up just enough to look Riku in the eye. "Best hurry!" he laughed. "I heard they finished with her ages ago, but I might be wrong."<p>

He didn't need to specific who he meant by "her" for Riku to know he was talking about Namine. He screamed and rushed at Xigbar again, even though it was more than too late. Xigbar was dead and faded before Riku's blade could even touch him.

Riku kept screaming anyway, striking the ground and slicing the air. He knew it didn't do him any good but he didn't care.

"OF COURSE THEY'VE ALREADY MANAGED TO REWRITE HER," he screamed. His heart thudded in his ears, blood pounding and blurring his surroundings. He hardly heard his own voice as it tore from his lips. "OF COURSE! BECAUSE IT TOOK SO MUCH TIME AND I WASTED ALL OF IT AND I'VE LOST HER AND I—"

Sora grabbed him from behind, holding him by the forearms so he couldn't _really _attack anything. Riku growled and struggled against Sora's grasp, but then Kairi was in front of him, grabbing his face in her hands, pushing hair out of his face. Just like Namine would.

"Shh, it's okay," Kairi said, gently. "It's okay. We'll get to her. We will."

Riku squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop his tears. He took a shuddering breath and wished Sora wasn't restraining him so he could bury his face in his hands.

"He probably only said it to tick you off," Sora added. "Maybe they haven't actually finished with her yet."

Riku nodded, taking another shuddering breath, then another. Screaming wasn't going to get him anywhere. Neither was crying. They had to keep moving. He had to keep moving—had to focus.

Sora cleared his throat, nervously, then let go of Riku. Riku slumped forward a little, unable to straighten until Kairi let go of him, too. She did so, after a moment, which he was grateful for. The concern in her eyes and the gentleness of her touch reminded him too much of Namine.

"How much time _do _we got?" Sora asked.

Riku rubbed his arms, shifted his weight. "Thirty minutes tops if I'm being optimistic," he said. There was a massive lump in his throat and it was hard to talk around. "Probably less though. More like fifteen, if that. I mean they've had her for an hour or so by now…"

"Try not to panic, okay?" Kairi smiled up at him, reassuringly. He wasn't reassured. "Let's just keep moving—we aren't that far now, right?"

He shrugged. "No… guess not… probably…"

He only had a rough idea of where he was supposed to be heading. Castle Oblivion was straightforward. The World That Never Was wasn't. And between his churning stomach and growing dread plus the whole trying-not-to-panic thing… well, it was easy to forget directions, to say the least.

"Yes, you better get moving," a new voice said—Xaldin, if Riku was hearing it right. "You wouldn't want to not be able to rescue Namine, hmm?"

A dark corridor opened directly behind Kairi, and a pair of gloved hands reached out to grab her and cover her mouth. They dragged her back through the corridor, which let out on the other side of the area. It was Xaldin who'd grabbed her.

"Kairi!" Sora shouted, summoning his Keyblade and stepping forward.

Riku bared his own blade, but all he could think was _I don't have time for this._

Kairi pulled Xaldin's hand away from her mouth. "Riku _go_!" she shouted. "Get out of here! Get Namine! We can handle this!"

Sora nodded.

"Yeah. Namine needs you much more than we do."

Riku swallowed. Sora seemed uncertain, but Kairi was adamant—and already pushing away from Xaldin. He could leave them here. Sora _was _a competent fighter, and Kairi wasn't half bad either…

And he really did need to go after Namine.

"RIKU I SWEAR GO AFTER NAMINE OR I WILL SLAP YOU ACROSS THE FACE!" Kairi screamed. "SOMEHOW."

"Riku, really, we got it," Sora added.

Riku nodded and left them there. They could handle it. He needed to save Namine, and it didn't appear Xaldin was going to stop him. That was good. He had to get to her—had to get to her before they…

_No, _he thought, shaking his head. _I won't let it happen. I won't let it happen I promised I wouldn't let it happen. I promised I promised I promised._

He tried not to think about the fact that he'd, _technically, _also promised to kill her should she actually be Rewritten. He didn't want to think about that, because he couldn't…

_No. It won't happen. I promised._

**_xxx_**

Sora watched Riku go—just to make sure he was going—and then turned back to Xaldin and Kairi. He had to stifle a laugh. Kairi was struggling hard to get away from Xaldin, and succeeding, plus the look of discomfort on Xaldin's face was priceless. Kairi'd kicked him in the knees at least once and thrown at least two blasts of light at his face.

Finally, fed up, Xaldin shoved her aside and summoned a sort of wind barrier to surround her. Wind _cage _was probably the more accurate term. Sora swallowed his laughter. These circumstances weren't funny. Well, it wasn't the _time _to find them funny, anyway.

"I LITERALLY CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS!" Kairi screamed, getting to her feet. She pounded a fist against the barrier, only to pull it back. Clearly the wind _was _a functional barrier. It didn't deter Kairi's protest, though. "This is _real life _you jerkface and you can't use me as _bait_!"

"Oh, can't I?" Xaldin asked, her, then turned his attention to Sora. The wind around Kairi seemed to grow a little stronger, though, as if to drown out her voice. "I'll let her go, Sora, provided you come with me." He held out his hand as an invitation. "That's a fair bargain, isn't it? Your compliance for her safety."

"Are you kidding me!?" Kairi screamed, raising her voice to be heard over the growing wind around her. "Are you really _seriously_ using me as bait? This is ridiculous! You're ridiculous! You can't just do this this is _real life _Sora don't listen to him! Don't you _dare _say yes Sora!"

Xaldin sent an annoyed look over at her, but said nothing. The wind continued to pick up, though, until it finally started to overpower Kairi. It buffeted around the room, and lashed Sora's hair against his face.

Sora squinted—partially in hopes to keep hair out of his eyes but also because he wasn't quite sure what to do. Obviously _agreeing _to Xaldin's terms wasn't the smart plan, but the only other option seemed to be to _fight _Xaldin. Sora wasn't sure if he could take another battle.

But Kairi wouldn't be happy if he agreed…

And he couldn't let the Organization have a scan of his data, which was probably what Xaldin wanted him for. Then they could finish their Kingdom Hearts, and—

Xaldin reached through his wind barrier and grabbed Kairi by the chin. "I'm waiting for your answer, Sora!" he called. "It'd be a shame to mar this pretty face…"

"Get your _hands _off me!" Kairi yelled, before Sora could say _anything_. She pushed Xaldin's hand away and sent an incredibly large blast of light at his face. It knocked him back a few feet, and the force of it sent her against the opposite barrier of the wind-cage. She grunted. Xaldin growled. Sora smirked a little, quite impressed.

Xaldin straightened, looking rather disgruntled. With a wave of his hand, a dark corridor formed around Kairi, and she vanished.

Sora's smirk turned to shock—horror. He took a step forward, body shaking, voice cracking with fury.

"Where did you send her!?" he yelled. "And that was kinda dumb! Now I'm not going to do anything for you!"

"She hasn't been harmed," Xaldin countered, turning to him with a slight gust of—annoyed—wind. "She's in a holding pattern. Still safe but—ggh!"

Sora hadn't waited to hear the explanation. He'd attacked. He hadn't _wanted _the explanation, anyway. He didn't want to _talk _this over, and he knew pleading would be pointless. The Organization had been nothing but ruthless yet, and this man…

This man was the one from Beast's Castle. The one who'd summoned a horde of Heartless against him. The one that would've killed him had Mickey not shown up.

There was no use talking to him. No use asking where he'd sent Kairi.

Sora raised his arm to shield his face from the wind that Xaldin sent roaring at him. It was strong, and it made Sora skid back a few feet. When he looked up, he realized Xaldin had summoned a dragon of wind—or something of that sort.

Fine. It was a fight this man wanted? Then he'd get one.

Sora'd find Kairi on his own.

**_xXx_**

_A good two or so hours prior…_

Sora's Shadow ran his fingers through his wolf's fur, sighing softly. The wolf was practically in his lap—as much as it could fit, anyway. It'd gotten rather affectionate, recently. Not that Sora's Shadow was surprised, considering…

'Are you sure this is the only way?' the wolf asked, whining.

"Mmhmm," he replied, not looking at it. He looked at the sky above them, continued running his hands through its fur. "I can't do this anymore. I really can't. And this… This is the only way."

'_Jara ni Raeshi—_'

"I know what Hades said," he interrupted. "But I've thought it over, long and hard, and I think… I think I have a chance."

He swallowed. His stomach hadn't stopped churning since he'd made his decision, but he really couldn't see another solution.

'You really don't have to…' the wolf tried, but it trailed off, as if anticipating the interruption from its master.

"Yes, I do," Sora's Shadow told it yet again. That would make nearly five times now. Dogs—even wolves—were such silly creatures. Loyal. A little dumb. "And I already told you why. I don't want you interfering, either, got that?"

The wolf bit his hand in annoyance—in affection.

'I'll miss you…'

It didn't sound happy to admit it, but Sora's Shadow just chuckled, understanding the feeling.

"Me too, you sack of bricks," he said, mean but affectionate in his own way.

He sighed and ruffled its fur one last time, before moving to get up. The wolf sensed his movement and got off of him. It walked away before another word could be exchanged between the two of them, and while Sora's Shadow was a little disappointed, he figured it was for the best.


	226. for over

I actually meant to have this up roughly ten hours ago but I kept getting distracted. and distracted. and distracted. and

* * *

><p>Vexen sat with his back to the door of his room—maybe it wasn't the best place to be, but he wasn't sure where else to go. He couldn't leave the room, obviously, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to hear what was going on outside if he moved.<p>

There was a battle going on outside. Obviously, one of the fighters was Xigbar—or his Replica… Vexen could hardly tell which.

It was the _other _fighter that he was having trouble figuring out. He had to close his eyes, sit here and _listen _to how they attacked—how they moved. Unfortunately, it'd been quite some time since he'd had to rely so desperately on his ears, and he hadn't heard anything like this style for a long time.

Vexen was in luck, however, because that's when Xigbar—or his Replica—spoke up.

"Not so bad, tiger!" he laughed.

His opponent growled. "How many times do I have to tell you? Don't call me tiger!"

And then Vexen knew who it was. It was Roxas. There was no mistaking that voice, nor that tone. Plus, now that he knew it was Roxas, he registered the sound of Keyblades slicing through air. It was a very distinct sound—one unlike that made by any other weapon. How he'd not managed to recognize it immediately was a mystery, and, admittedly, a little embarrassing.

Why Roxas was here, and _fighting _Xigbar—or his Replica. Whichever—was an even bigger mystery. Last he'd checked, Roxas was a pawn of Xemnas. So why was he taking the big Number 2 down?

Vexen was left to ponder this until the battle was over—and it was over much quicker than he'd anticipated.

He waited for a tentative moment, then got to his feet and pressed an ear against the door. "Are you going to let me out?" he asked. He decided he didn't care why Roxas was here, as long as it meant getting out.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming," Roxas sighed.

"It's locked," Vexen said. "One of the Xigbar's has—or, _had—_the key, but I'm honestly not sure which one."

"Uhm, I have a Keyblade."

"Oh!" Vexen blinked, cleared his throat, feeling quite silly for not having remembered that fact. "Yes that- that'll do nicely."

Vexen took a sensible step away from the door. He could feel the energy in the air, making the hairs on his skin rise just slightly. He didn't hear the click of any lock… but he did hear a door swinging open—

—and it wasn't his door.

"What the hell?" Roxas asked. Judging by his voice, he was in the room over.

Vexen nodded, realizing what had happened. He went over to the wall, rapped on it. "Ah, I'm in the next room over," he called.

"Are you _kidding _me?"

"No…" Vexen said, though, in hindsight, it'd likely been a rhetorical question.

"Geeze, I was doing much better earlier…" Roxas grumbled. With a quicker and sharper rush of energy, the lock on Vexen's door clicked. Roxas shoved the door open, a frustrated scowl on his face.

"In your defense, I got moved here fairly recently," Vexen assured him.

Roxas raised his eyebrows. "What for?" he asked. However, he did look pleased to know it wasn't a bad sense of direction that had made him open the wrong door.

"They didn't want me near the computer," explained Vexen.

Roxas considered it, nodded. "Yeah that makes sense."

"Is, uh, Riku here?" Vexen asked, wringing his hands nervously. _Here _was relative, of course, but phrasing it to be any clearer would be embarrassing.

"Last I checked, I think he was fighting Xigbar," Roxas said, but shrugged. "But since the time it took me to return Joseph to C.O. and then fight _this _Xigbar, well…. no tellin'."

"Joseph was h—nevermind of course he was." Vexen sighed and shook his head, largely out of exasperation. That boy…

Regardless.

Vexen looked up at Roxas, studied his face, squinting a little. "Tell me, Roxas, how'd it come to be that you were on our side?"

"Got my memories back, and that's about it," Roxas explained, smirking. "Nuttin' special." The smirk came easier to him than Vexen ever remembered it coming—then again, he hadn't interacted much with Roxas. Especially not _recently. _

"Oh…" Roxas's face fell. "Though I suppose Axel died in there, too…"

_Good riddance, _Vexen couldn't help but think, but he didn't voice the thought.

"What of the failsafe?" Vexen asked, warily.

Roxas shrugged. "Shorted out or something."

"You should go to C.O. so you can get that fix—"

"No way!" Roxas interrupted. The suggestion seemed to bother him greatly, given the glare he sent at Vexen. Then he stumbled and clutched his head, Keyblade falling from his head.

Vexen pursed his lips. He'd expected something like that.

"Unng… damn timing…" Roxas moaned.

"Roxas, please, I looked at your file before Xemnas made me move rooms," Vexen said. "I know what state your data's in right now, and it's not pretty. If you don't come back to C.O. soon—"

"THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN IS I TRY AND MURDER RIKU AGAIN, THAT'S ALL!" Roxas shouted, straightening. He straightened slowly, as if it pained him, but he straightened, grumbling: "Trust me, I can _feel _that… but I'm not going anywhere. Not yet. There isn't time, and unless you managed to delay them rewriting Namine…"

Vexen hung his head. "I tried to send Xigbar after Sora, but… clearly…"

"Then I need to get going," Roxas said. "I trust you can get back to C.O. by yourself?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Sweet."

And Roxas was off.

Or, he _started_ off. Vexen quickly grabbed him by the sleeve of his coat. Roxas paused, for which Vexen was grateful. His grip on Roxas's cloak wasn't very strong and he was sure Roxas could pull away at any second if he wanted to.

"Where are you going?" Vexen demanded.

"To help Riku, duh," Roxas laughed.

"But your data—"

"Will last twenty minutes!"

"And the failsafe—"

"Hasn't caused any trouble yet." Roxas pulled his arm away, then, scowling. "You can't stop me."

And then he was gone.

And he was right.

Vexen _couldn't _stop him.

**_xXx_**

A dark corridor opened in front of him. Riku skidded to a halt, his blood pounding.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" he shouted, as _Xemnas _stepped out.

He didn't have time. _Time. _He was running out of time!

And yet here Xemnas was, looking all smug. Why was he even here? Did they really _still _need to stall? Sure, them needing to stall was _technically _a good thing, but having to face _Xemnas _certainly wasn't. Riku still remembered the last time… that hadn't gone well…

"Are you really-? I—" Riku broke off, anger fading rapidly to desperation. "_Just let her go,_" he pleaded. "Don't let them do it what's the point?" He tried to put on a smirk, but it probably came out like a grimace. "All your members are dead—or near dead. There's no point in doing it no point in having her kill me _please _just let her go!"

Xemnas said nothing, right away. He just listened to Riku plea, clearly amused.

"Show me how much it means to you," he said, after a moment.

Riku gritted his teeth, not liking the smile on Xemnas's face. It wasn't cocky, it wasn't knowing, it wasn't _anything_ but a simple smile and that fact alone was horrible.

But…

As much as he didn't want to…

Namine's safety came long before his pride.

So Riku sunk to the ground. Got on his hands and knees. Closed his eyes.

"_Please,_" he begged. "Kill me now, if you really must… just let her go. Unharmed. Unchanged. That's all I ask."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" a new voice—Roxas's voice—shouted.

Before Riku could look up, a foot connected with his side, and the force of the kick sent him rolling. Roxas grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to his feet, then smacked him across the face.

"You came this far and you're giving up!?" Roxas demanded.

Riku snorted angrily through his nose, straightening to his full height so he was taller than—and thus looking down on—Roxas. His cheek stung, but it only sharpened his anger, and determination.

"I'm not giving up," he hissed. "I'm being sensible."

"_Really_?" Roxas asked. "Because I'm pretty sure Xemnas isn't actually going to listen to a request like that and I'm also pretty sure you _knew _that. Not to mention Namine's probably already been Rewritten and it's pointless to—!"

"_No!_" Riku interrupted, his voice cracking. He wouldn't hear it. But the thought made him deflate, his determination falling back into desperation.

"Look!" Roxas grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. Trying to ground him. "We're _so close _and together, _he's no match for us._" The words left Roxas's lips in an excited whisper, and he let go of Riku to summon his blades.

"I suppose you're right," Xemnas called. He was calm, completely unbothered by Roxas's claim that they could take him. He just smiled. It made Riku's blood _boil. _"But, Roxas!" Xemnas continued. "I thought you wanted to kill Riku."

Roxas went rigid.

"…n-no," he stammered, but it seemed like he had to force the words from his mouth.

There was a twitch to his neck, a tightness in how he held his blades.

Riku took a few steps back from him, sending a look over his shoulder to see where the exit to the area was. Maybe he could slip out while Roxas distracted Xemnas…

"Roxas," Xemnas said, simply.

Roxas dropped his blades and clutched his head, doubling over. "QUIT IT!" he cried.

"But what about Xion?" Xemnas asked, still smiling that stupid smile. Riku took another three steps backwards. "Wouldn't she want this?"

Roxas was screaming "no, _no, NO!_" from his knees when Riku turned his back on them and ran towards the next area. Straightforward and then a sharp left and he'd be in the hallway where they had Namine—

Except he hit a barrier, head on, before even getting a foot out of the area. He cursed and turned back around, glaring in Xemnas's direction. Xemnas's attention wasn't even on him, but Riku _thought _he saw Xemnas's smile widen.

"Who killed Xion?" he asked. His voice rang through space around them, echoing against the walls more than should've been possible. It filled the room with the very sound and demand, so much so that he might as well have just ordered Roxas to attack Riku with the weight it carried.

"S-_Saix!_" Roxas still managed to choke, his voice just barely breaking past Xemnas's echos.

"But why was Saix in charge?" Xemnas's voice rose even higher, and Roxas trembled, his fingers curling against the ground.

Riku bit his tongue, Xemnas's voice and a memory of Roxas ringing in his ears. Why was Saix in charge? Your fault your fault your fault. His vision seemed to blur, and just when he thought the world was going to fall out from under him, Roxas's voice broke through the haze.

"Because of _you!_" he screeched.

Riku brought up his blade to block, fully anticipating Roxas to come running at him. Instead, Roxas ran at Xemnas. His Keyblades were in his hands again, scraping against the ground as he ran, sending up sparks and a screeching sound that made Riku twitch with discomfort. Roxas reached Xemnas and jumped into the air, bringing his blades down.

Riku reached a hand out to touch the barrier—just to make sure it was still there and he really _couldn't_ go forward—it was—and grunted in annoyance. "Fine then," he growled, and swept a hand down the length of his blade, darkness flowing with the motion.

If it was a fight they really wanted, then maybe he had no choice…

_Namine'd be upset if I sacrificed myself for her, anyway… not that it doesn't make the option tempting. It'd be quicker. But Roxas is probably right. I can't trust Xemnas….._

He ran forward to attack.

**_xXx_**

It ended up being a long and gruesome fight.

Riku was fairing okay, but Xemnas seemed more keen on tossing him back than attacking him. Over time, Riku stopped hitting the ground and started catching himself, landing on his feet and using the momentum to launch another attack.

Roxas, however, was getting the worst of it. His face was bruised, and his cloak was torn in various places thanks to Xemnas's ethereal blades. But he kept getting back up, tossing up Cure after Cure for himself and pressing on. Despite the Cures, his blood still soaked his cloak and splattered the ground.

_I can't look after you AND worry about Namine, idiot, _Riku thought, but couldn't find the energy to say it aloud. Nor could he find the time. Either he was avoiding, attacking, or trying to keep an eye on Xemnas.

Xemnas quite often cloaked himself in darkness and basically _floated _from one area of the room to the other—it was quite annoying. Xemnas was completely untouchable while he was moving, and it also felt _incredibly _strange when it grazed right past you, Riku discovered, as Xemnas missed him by inches.

Riku rounded on Xemnas. Before he could attack, a set of barriers went up around him. Riku checked to see if the barriers were on _all _sides—they were—and found that Roxas had been caught between the barriers, too. Roxas was studying the barriers, curiously, then sent a look at Riku.

"How high can you jump?" Roxas asked. There was blood trailing from his lips, and the sight made Riku hesitate in answering the question to consider telling Roxas to Cure again. Roxas growled in annoyance, and then cupped his hands together—his Keyblades quite suddenly gone.

"Boost," he said. "_Now._"

Riku didn't waste any more time arguing. He stepped into Roxas's hands and let Roxas boost him over the barrier. Xemnas shot a burst of lasers at him once he hit the air. It took a lot of effort to maneuver out of their way, but at least Riku's dark suit took most of the damage.

Roxas cried out. Riku looked up to see what was wrong—Roxas had jumped over the barrier with ease, but Xemnas had come up behind him and started attacking before he'd even landed. Roxas was caught off guard, and Xemnas's blows were too quick to deflect.

Riku clucked his tongue in annoyance, and prepared a Dark Firaga.

_I already said I can't worry about you, too, idiot! _he thought as he let the Dark Firaga loose.

It hit Xemnas in the stomach, and Riku followed up with a strike at Xemnas's head. Xemnas dodged that, but not the following flurry of strikes from Roxas.

Riku rushed forward to attack, too, with his own flurry of attacks. He and Roxas worked in tandem, striking Xemnas but never bumping each other or getting in each other's way.

In desperation, Xemnas threw up a barrier in front of himself. Both Riku and Roxas didn't have time to correct or pull back, and both hit the barrier head on.

Riku shook his head as he stumbled back—the barrier stung a little like electricity, though it wasn't nearly as painful. Roxas groaned and threw up a Cure for each of them, followed by a Cura for himself. His cloak was torn in various places, to the point where it was nearly falling off his shoulders. The Cures were keeping him from bleeding too horribly, but he still looked pretty scratched up.

Riku sent a glance down at his dark suit, which was about glowing with darkness as it worked furiously to repair itself.

Roxas launched himself over Xemnas's barrier and attacked Xemnas from above. Riku turned and shot a Dark Firaga to the side—it honed in on Xemnas and turned mid-flight to hit him. Riku took off running as soon as the Dark Firaga left his fingertips, then leapt into the air for a Dark Aura. The attack hit Xemnas in full, though Riku _may _have hit Roxas once or twice in the process.

The Dark Aura finished and Xemnas momentarily stunned, Roxas jumped back and clasped his Keyblades together. They glowed with light, he aimed them. A burst of light, as thin as one of Xemnas's lasers, erupted from them and pierced Xemnas clean through.

Xemnas fell to his knees.

"Hm. Too bad…" he chuckled, as he faded.

"Too bad?" Roxas slumped forward, now that he didn't have to be on guard. He looked exhausted. "That's all he has to say? Seems pretty fish—_ahg!_" He dropped his Keyblades and clutched at his chest, doubling over and sinking to the ground.

"Go back to Castle Oblivion," Riku told him.

"I'm fine I—_crud! _Out of Cures…"

Riku rolled his eyes. "Like I said, go to Castle Oblivion—they can fix you up there."

Roxas just straightened as well as he could, looking up at Riku with pleading eyes. "But what if there's someone else—"

"Be honest!" Riku cut him off with a laugh. "Who's left?"

"Okay, but, what if Namine's been—"

"She won't be. I won't let it—"

"BE HONEST!" Roxas shouted, stumbling a step towards Riku. "Be _logical!_" Roxas gritted his teeth. Whether in anger or in pain, Riku did not know. "They've had so much time… _nhhgg._"

Riku just shook his head. He wouldn't believe she'd already been— wouldn't believe he'd been too slow. "You aren't going to be any help in that state, anyway," he told Roxas, firmly. "Go to Castle Oblivion."

He walked away before Roxas could protest further.


	227. 200 chapters?

I feel like there's something to say here but *shrugs*

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><p>Kairi beat her fists against the wind barrier she'd been trapped in, scowling furiously. This was <em>ridiculous. <em>She wasn't _bait _and more importantly the wind was _loud _and _obnoxious _and her hair was whipping around to hit her in the face regardless of how many times she pushed it away. She couldn't hear Sora, either, and could hardly hear the man who was holding her captive. She felt like she had to yell at the top of her lungs to be heard, and her throat was already growing a little sore because of it.

And then to make things _worse…_

The man reached through the wind barrier—it didn't even affect _him—_and grabbed her by the chin. A blatant disregard for her personal space, treating her like an _object—_Kairi wouldn't stand for it.

Granted, it was more reflex than anything else when she shoved him away and the light exploded from her to keep him back. If she'd _meant _to throw the light, it wouldn't have thrown her back as far as it did. Her back hit the opposite end of the wind cage—it wasn't very _large _so she hadn't been thrown _far,_ but the force was enough to knock the air from her lungs.

Kairi blinked to restore her vision, and it cleared just enough for her to see the man wave his hand in dismissal. Then cold and darkness enveloped her. She nearly cried out in panic, but then she felt a hand around her wrist.

It was a touch that felt like Sora.

And even though she knew Sora was nowhere near enough her to be saving her, the familiarity of the touch calmed her enough to keep her from screaming.

The darkness faded. Kairi barely got a good look of where it had left her when the world dissolved around her. The sight of everything twisting in front of her made her nauseous. Thankfully, it all slowed and in no time, solidifying into the shapes and colors of the Islands—of home.

For a second she thought she was alone. If anyone had brought her here, she certainly couldn't _see _them. But then the pressure left her wrist, and she heard the sound of sand shifting beneath weight, and then a voice:

"That was me."

Her hallucination boy.

Well, he wasn't a hallucination, and he also may not have been a _boy,_ but…

She did her best to look at him, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Thank you," she told him.

He was probably busy with a million other things, and yet he'd taken the time to save her? That was awfully sweet of him. And he hadn't necessarily _had _to—though she was grateful. More than grateful.

"You're welcome," he said.

Kairi cleared her throat. Now came the awkward part. "Well, uh, thanks for saving me and all, I like I said… but you gotta take me back!"

"What!? _No!_"

He sounded quite angry. Kairi frowned, taken aback.

"Why… not?"

"Just- just because!"

"Why are you being so—" she started to yell at him. To chew him out. But… instead she trailed off, eyes widening as she got a better _feel _for the boy in front of her. Sensing darkness—and with it, light—was an ability she'd only acquired recently, when she'd started traveling with Tifa.

And this boy… felt…

…like a lot of darkness.

It made her stomach churn, just a little, made her skin itch and her hairs stand on end. Just like when Riku'd been throwing darkness around against Demyx.

"Who are you?" she whispered.

He shook his head—she couldn't see it, but she could _feel _it. Feel the darkness that was him _shift _in a head-shaking motion. "There isn't time," he said, and he tried to push her off again, prying her fingers away from his arm. "I have to go."

She grabbed him by the other arm, and her aim was much better this time. Her fingers clasped around his wrist, and she held him tight.

"Go where?" she asked. She twisted his arm a little, enough not to hurt—much—but enough to let him know she meant business and didn't plan on letting go anytime soon.

"This is between _me _and _Sora,_" he growled, shifting a little. She could feel the heat of his breath on her face. "Now let me go."

"Between you and Sora?" she repeated, and she almost scoffed. She also ignored his request to be let go. "Since when do you _know _Sora?"

"You don't want me to answer that."

"Yes I do!"

He growled. "KAIRI!" he shouted—she could practically _feel _the anger radiating off him. "Let _go _of me!"

"Let me come with you," she pleaded.

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's dangerous!" the boy replied.

"Oh ho! It's 'dangerous!'" Kairi rolled her eyes and her neck with them. "I'm not taking any of that crap. I have come _so far _and I've finally caught up with Sora and _I'll be damned _if you make me stay here while you go 'save him'." She didn't bother attempting to look the boy in the eye, but she looked at him as sincerely as possible. "Just let me come with you."

"I don't want you there!" the boy screamed in response.

"Why not?" Kairi asked, evenly. "Why can't I come, really?"

"KAIRI PLEASE I JUST NEED TO DO THIS ALONE!"

"_Tell me why._"

He didn't answer, he just grabbed her arm with his hand. A pain shot through her, and she yelped and let go of his wrist. He'd burned her with darkness. She didn't waste time scolding or yelling at him, though—she didn't even bother with a healing spell. She could feel the energy shift around him, and she threw herself at her before he could vanish completely.

He was taking her with him, one way or another.

**_xXx_**

Sora watched Xaldin fade, and let out a deep breath. He banished his blade. Ran a hand through his hair… largely just because it'd been blown well out of place. Xaldin's element was wind, and Sora's skin still stung from being buffeted by it. He was kind of glad he'd lost his necklace, in hindsight—having that beat against his skin would've been painful.

_Now… where'd Kairi get sent? _he wondered.

If only he knew how to get back to the surveillance room…

…was that the sound of two bodies hitting the floor?

And the sound of his Shadow yelling?

Kairi laughing triumphantly?

Sora turned around. Sure enough, that was his Shadow and Kairi. He was quite relieved to see Kairi, and, to an extent, his Shadow. Wait. What? No. The more important question here was why Kairi had his Shadow pinned to the ground and where had they even come from?

"Uhm," Sora began.

"GET OFF ME!" his Shadow roared, throwing Kairi off of him. She hit the ground and skidded in Sora's direction, until they were about two or so feet apart.

Kairi groaned, pushing herself up on her elbows. "Sorry!" she snapped. "I just wasn't getting left beh—" She stopped short as she straightened further and her eyes met Sora's. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Fine," he said. He _felt _okay. Maybe a little tired. But after a battle like that it was no surprise. Xaldin hadn't gone down easily. Sora'd won by the skin of his teeth.

"Are you sure—" Kairi started to say, but she didn't get the chance.

"ENOUGH!" Sora's Shadow screamed, jumping to his feet. He cloaked himself in so much darkness that it made the air hard to breathe. Kairi scrambled away from him, and Sora shielded his eyes, at least until the initial burst of darkness passed.

"You think I didn't want you coming because you were a _girl?_" Sora's Shadow spat, but despite the anger in his voice he was _laughing. _"Oh, and it's 'dangerous'?" Sora's Shadow laughed again, and then reached down to grab Kairi by the chin.

She yelped in pain, and Sora took a step forward. Unlike with Xaldin, she wasn't trying to fight back. Her eyes darted between Sora and his Shadow, her lips barely stammering:

"He- he looks like…. he looks like—"

"I didn't want you _coming _because I wanted to spare what _friendship _we had," Sora's Shadow hissed, his face dangerously close to Kairi's. "I'd remain your hallucination boy—the boy who saved from whatever doom that _man _may have thrown you into."

Kairi cried out in pain again, as Sora's Shadow pulled her face closer to his, with it pulling her body just slightly off the ground. Sora hesitated on lunging forward to save her. He wanted to hear what his Shadow had to say—he and Kairi _knew _each other? It really _was_ more than just his Shadow spying on her?

"You'd remember me _fondly… _but now you can see me, can't you?" Sora's Shadow laughed. "Know who I am? That's right." He threw her to the ground, gestured angrily at Sora. "I'm _his Shadow _and _this _is where I strangle the life out of him—and trust me, _princess_, it'll be too violent for your pretty little eyes to handle."

"I _trusted _you!" Kairi cried, pushing herself up. She sounded very upset. Sora started to run to her—to keep her from attacking his Shadow. Something was wrong.

_What we're seeing isn't what's going on, Kairi! _he wanted to scream, but couldn't articulate the thought into sounds that would leave his mouth.

The threat had been empty. There was nothing but despair in his Shadow's heart—no malice, no anger, and the laughter he was putting up was a thin veil. Their hearts were connected, and Sora could feel all of this and more.

Sora'd hardly gotten two steps when his Shadow jumped away from Kairi. He threw his head back, and a language Sora couldn't understand left his lips. Or, could he understand that…?

Before he could think the words over, they'd faded, and a wolf stepped into the room. One second it hadn't been there, and then suddenly it was. Sora's eyes widened in shock. He'd _seen _that wolf before. It was the one that had gotten him away from Maleficent! And… the one who'd followed him around for nearly a week…

And it was… his _Shadow's?_

"Take her away—to the islands!" Sora's Shadow commanded. He sent an apologetic look at the wolf, then turned his attention to Kairi. He tried to glare, but it came out as a grimace. "I'll- I'll be nice," he said. "Spare you this once. Interfere again and I won't."

The wolf tackled Kairi, and they were both gone in a blink. Sora stared at the spot where they'd been for a second—since when had his Shadow had a pet _wolf? _And if it really was his, why had he sent it to follow Sora around for so long? Had it _really _been doing all that on his Shadow's _orders?_

But… more importantly…

Kairi. His Shadow had hurt Kairi.

"What- what the heck was that?" Sora demanded, turning to his Shadow. His anger came to an abrupt halt when he saw his Shadow.

His Shadow was on the ground. Heaving, panting for air as he bent over his knees and clutched his head.

"I'm- I'm sorry," he gasped. "I- I had to- had to get rid of her- I had to… couldn't- couldn't let her…"

"Why not?" Sora couldn't help the words from being bitter. "Didn't want to make her watch?"

His Shadow's head snapped up to glare at him. "You'll thank me later!" he shouted, but then he squeezed his eyes shut and slumped over again, curling in on himself. His next words came out in chokes and gasps: "Because what's- what's gonna happen next- it isn't- it- it's not gonna be some epic battle. But- but let her think it is. Go home her- her _hero. _Her hero who overcame his absolutely- absolutely violent and disgusting and _despicable _darkness."

Sora's eyes narrowed, but his heart churned in his chest.

His Shadow slowly looked up at him. His yellow and tearstained eyes met Sora's blue ones. He was shuddering all over.

"Don't let her know the truth," he hissed.

"_What_?" Sora whispered.

None of this was making sense. Why _shouldn't_ they be fighting? Why was his Shadow acting like this?

…what was going to happen next?

Sora's Shadow pushed himself to his feet, shaking the whole way. His shoulders slumped with exhaustion, and his movements were slow—weary.

"What happens… next…" he said, swallowed. "Stays between you- between you and me." His voice cracked at every other word, and tears streaked his cheeks. "What happens- what happens next…"

He closed his eyes, reached out, summoned his blade.

"It's shameful, and no one needs to know."

Sora stared, jaw slack. He was terrified of the words his Shadow would say next. He didn't want to hear them. He didn't want to face this moment. Not this moment, where his Shadow was _crying. _Not this moment, where his heart was in his throat and his fingers were numb.

Anything but this moment.

Because then his Shadow turned his blade around, offering the hilt to Sora. He opened his eyes, opened his mouth:

"Kill me."


	228. (over 300 if you include the other fics)

If you follow me on tumblr or check my blog you'd already know this, but I've started making Soundtrack mixes on 8tracks. Basically _most_ of the songs I've related to any of the fics have been turned into playlists. I'm probably over explaining this. Like usual.

Anyway, soundtracks for the Truth Hurts, Falling to Pieces, and Dead Inside part 1 have all been uploaded. Dead Inside part 2 is on hold for publishing, and Dead Inside part 3 can't go up until I've actually _finished _Dead Inside.  
>I <em>do <em>have a Nothing's Fair soundtrack _planned, _I just haven't fully decided which songs are going in it yet. You can expect it to go up eventually, just not soon

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><p>Here he was. He'd finally made it. Riku'd found the hallway where Namine was—L was guarding one of the doors, and she didn't look happy to see him.<p>

"37? Sweetie?" she called, leaning her head against the door. "How much longer?"

"Not long!" 37 called back. "It says 70 seconds—90. Mm."

Riku's eyes went wide. That wasn't a lot of time. They were nearly done Rewriting her, and he hadn't been quick enough.

_No, _he told himself. _There's still SOME time…_

"Best move now!" he told L, raising his blade. "I don't have time."

L waved her hand, dismissing his statement. "Yeah, yeah, but—"

Riku didn't waste any time with more talking. There was no point. Even telling them Xemnas was dead and they didn't really _need _to Rewrite Namine was pointless. He had to get in the room and hit 'cancel' on that computer, and he had roughly 60 seconds to do it.

He swung at L. She jumped out of the way, but that was no problem. Now he could reach the door. He jiggled the doorknob—locked. He pounded on, then threw his weight against the door.

"Don't bother," L sneered. "You weren't quick enough!"

Riku gritted his teeth, throwing himself at the door again. He just needed to break it down. Who cared how much it hurt his shoulder? Who cared if he was probably going to have a bruise tomorrow? So long as it _worked _and Namine was _safe _it didn't matter.

"Hang on!" the words tore themselves from his lips. He threw himself at the door _again—_he could feel it creaking and bending under his weight so why hadn't it broken _yet? _"Namine hang on! I'm right—"

L grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from the door.

"She can't hear you!"

Riku snarled and yanked his arm away. He wasn't going to break the door down with L here.

"Who's going to protect you now?" he taunted, raising his blade. "37's not here."

L smiled. "I think I can manage for another 30 seconds."

Riku said nothing, just ran at L. He made to swing at her, but pulled back last second so he could shoot a Dark Firaga instead. It caught her mid-jump, sending her back. Before she could recover, Riku launched at her and drove his blade through her heart.

"Ha!" she chuckled. "You still weren't quick enough, you little—"

The words cut off as her body faded.

Riku let out a small sigh of relief—he'd honestly anticipated 37 to show up out of nowhere and keep him from killing L. Again.

But she was finally dead.

_Right_, Riku shook his head._ That means I can get to—_

The thought blurred as a bolt of lightning struck him in the back. He cried out in pain, his vision blurred along with his thoughts. Then he was on the ground.

_Since when was there another Larxene? _he thought, wearily, pushing himself over to see who'd hit him. _Or is L not really…_

That thought halted, too, along with his heart, when he saw the face of his attacker.

It was Namine.

She looked the same as always, which Riku hadn't entirely expected. Well, he hadn't much _considered _the possibility of being too late, but he'd assumed if she _was _Rewritten she'd look different. Like she had in her nightmare.

But she was the same.

The curve of her body, the shape of her face, the way her hair fell across her shoulders—nothing was different. Well, nothing besides the fact that all kindness had left her eyes, and her mouth was contorted in a foul smirk.

In her right hand she held a mimic of Riku's blade, in paler colors.

Electricity sparked at the fingertips of her left hand.

"Oh? Did I shock you?" She giggled. "My bad." The tone of her voice reminded Riku so much like Larxene that he thought he might puke.

As it was, all he could do was stare in horror. It was hard to get air into his lungs. His heart wasn't beating right. He could hardly see through his tears—he tried to hold those back, but it was no use.

He'd been too late.

"N- Namine?"

He hardly registered the word leaving his lips.

And then she was walking towards him, that sick—_sick—_smile on her face. He was lucky his reflexes kicked in, overrode his horror. He rolled out of the way before she could pin him there, stumbled to his feet.

He couldn't bring himself to raise his blade against her. Couldn't bring himself to even face her.

He ran.

"What? Too afraid to fight me?" Namine called after him, still _giggling_. A laugh so beautiful turned so cruel—

He ran from her. He ran and he ran and he _ran _until it was all a blur. A blur of panic and tears and his heart pounding and her giggle ringing in his ears. A blur of his feet stumbling beneath him and then the sound of her footsteps. The sting of lightning. He was on his knees.

This was where he'd fought Xemnas. Roxas was gone, at least, and it was open for battle.

But Riku didn't want a battle.

He didn't want to fight Namine.

His fingers curled into fists against the ground. He could see the tears fall from his eyes and land on the floor below him, leaving dark drops against the grey floor—and he wished the world would freeze there. At that image. Then he wouldn't have to get up. Then he wouldn't have to fight.

He didn't want to fight her.

He _couldn't _fight her.

He didn't… have to fight her…

He didn't have to move. He didn't have to get up. He could stay here. He could just let her…

Those were her feet, next to him. That was her blade, pressed against the back of his neck. He didn't have to move.

"Too easy," Namine scoffed. "You're weak."

He squeezed his eyes shut.

**_xXx_**

He brought the girl to Destiny Islands, her home, just like his master had asked. The girl kicked and screamed under him, and the wolf just growled back—his paws on her chest, pinning her down.

"TAKE ME BACK TAKE ME BACK!" she screamed, pounding against the wolf.

The wolf just snarled at her, but was kind enough to get off. He should get out of here, but—

"I can't just let your master—is he your master? Well, whatever. I can't let him drag Sora into darkness!"

The wolf stared at the girl for a moment. If only she knew.

'He wouldn't do that to Sora,' he said, with a shake of his head. Of course, she couldn't understand him. It wasn't like he spoke a language she knew.

The girl cocked her head at him, studying him.

"You can't take me back, can you?" she asked, the anger slowly fading from her voice. "Your master won't let you, huh?"

The wolf didn't reply. He should really get out of here. He shouldn't be talking to her. He had orders from his master, and she was _pure light _and being around her made him hurt. He really didn't like her, anyway…

"Wait a sec…" the girl said, slowly, catching his attention. "Did you mean to say… he's… _not _dragging Sora into darkness?"

The wolf looked up in surprise. She was sharper than she looked—had she understood him? Or was she just a good guesser? Either way…

He shook his head. No, his master didn't intend on doing that.

But… he really _should_ leave now. His master had forbidden him from interfering, and this certainly _felt _like interfering…

"What _is_ he doing, then?" the girl asked, lunging towards him a little in her excitement.

She was concerned, obviously for Sora, but the wolf understood. He was concerned for his master. He respected his master's choice, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

And if this girl could…. help…

She may have been pure light, and he may have orders, but…

But what was he supposed to do without his master? What was he supposed to do when his master was gone? The thought seemed unbearable. It was more than unbearable. He'd have the boy, Sora, but that wasn't the same. It would never be the same—he didn't care how _similar _they looked.

He didn't want his master to go. And what was to say that, once his master was gone, he wouldn't revert to his original form? He could get killed in that form. Mistaken for a common Heartless. No one would even know.

It terrified him.

He had to do something, orders or no. And if the girl did his work for him, then his master would never need to know, right? _Right?_

The wolf shook his head again, then whined—like a common mutt—and hoped he got his point across.

"Whatever he's doing, you don't like it, huh?" the girl asked him. She really was perceptive. And smart, too, considering she'd thought twice about petting him. "Take me back, then! I can help!"

He couldn't take her back. As much as he wanted to—as much as he wanted to let her stop his master, or better yet, stop him himself…

He couldn't.

A growl rose in his throat, out of habit. The girl backed away a little, but didn't seem deterred. Good.

"Okay," she said. "You can't take me back to Sora. I got that. But…" She thought for a moment, then grinned. "Can you take me back to the castle? I've- I've got other friends there, and they could use my help."

His ears perked up. There was the loophole he'd needed.

Of course, there was no telling if she _really_ had other friends or was just saying that to make him take her back—and he _so_ hoped it was the latter. But he could do that.

So he nodded, and once she'd gotten to her feet (and discarded her bag—he wasn't sure why), he grabbed her hand in his mouth, and pulled her through back to the Nobody's world.

He hoped she would go to Sora—go stop his master. He hoped, but he didn't stay to find out. Staying was too painful. Staying meant he had to resist the urge to go help his master himself.


	229. It's really

I have a playlist made specifically for this battle (ch229 and ch231) if you wanna listen to it - all the music has words though so if that's distracting don't bother. There's a link to it on this chapter's commentary

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><p>"Kill me."<p>

Sora's heart came to a dead halt in his chest as those words left his Shadow's lips. Those were the last words he expected. The last words he wanted to hear.

"Why do you want to die?" he found himself asking, the words tumbling from his lips.

And, more importantly, if his Shadow really wanted to die, why hadn't he just started a battle? Why hadn't he just started a battle and then let Sora win? Why was he coming at it _like this?_

His Shadow's face scrunched up in pain. He started to speak, but the only sounds that left his mouth for a long time were pained squeaks.

"I- I… that- that's hard to explain," he stammered, finally. It sounded like he was talking around a knot in his throat.

Sora sighed.

"Alright," he said. "Then let's start with an easier one." He swallowed the bile in his mouth. Rubbed his fingers together impatiently, at his side. "I thought you couldn't die."

"I know what Hades said," his Shadow protested, but he was sighing, too. Resigned. "But the King—" he paused. Grimaced. "The _Mouse—_"

"Mickey tried to kill you and _failed,_" Sora finished. "I saw it in your head. I know."

At just the mention of the memory it bubbled up in the back of his mind. Sora gritted his teeth and shoved it back down. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to touch that memory. It was too painful—and it wasn't even _his!_

"But after that- after that he told me that maybe _you _could kill me," his Shadow said. There was a small—_deranged—_smile on his face. Clinging to a slim hope.

Sora laughed, bitterly. "Why _me?_" he asked. "Huh? What makes _me _special? If Mickey couldn't do it I don't see how I—"

"_I know_!" His Shadow screamed, interrupting him. "I know. But- but that's the thing, isn't it?" His voice cracked, somewhere between laughter and sobbing. "About- about us. About our existence about _what I am._" He pounded his chest with his free hand—he still had his blade offered out to Sora, for him to take.

"You _have _to be able to defeat me," he continued. "_You have to be able to kill me, _just as I have to be able to kill you."

"Defeat doesn't necessarily mean kill," Sora said. The words pained him to say. His Shadow's reaction was only worse.

"WHAT ELSE CAN IT MEAN!?" he screamed, throwing his blade at the ground in frustration. His voice shook with fury, with tears. The sight and the sound made Sora's stomach churn. He had to look away.

"I dunno," he whispered. He shrugged, a little, tapped his toes against the ground for a second. "But the two of us talking pretty civilly about the matter is looking bright." He swallowed and looked up at his Shadow. "I mean, if we can come to some sort of agreement—"

Once he'd suggested it, he'd regretted it. The way his Shadow's face contorted with pain at the suggestion was horrible. Sora had to look away again.

"Sora I am a being created to drag you into darkness!" his Shadow shouted. "There is no other win for you besides my death!"

"Are you sure!?" Sora shouted back. He was tired of this situation. Tired of this argument. Tired of being forced into _this. _"Because you giving up on trying to drag me into darkness seems like winning to me."

Maybe his Shadow hadn't said those exact words—hadn't actually admitted that he'd given up on dragging Sora into darkness. But the more they stood here, the longer this argument carried on, the more Sora knew it was true. The only way his Shadow would attack him now would be out of frustration, not malice.

Sora's Shadow raked his hands through his hair. "Sora _please,_" he begged, sinking to his knees. He reached out with a hand, caught Sora's shirt. Sora's heart seized. "I just want to _die. _I want this to be over with."

Sora really couldn't look down at his Shadow now. He looked off to the side. Took deep breaths. He wanted to cry, too. He didn't want to kill his Shadow.

Maybe he would've wanted to, a month ago, before Maleficent. And maybe he would've—out of self-preservation, of course, or because he had to. But when he was being _asked _to? When his Shadow was _begging _for it? He wouldn't. He _couldn't._

"Can't we work something out?" he asked, voice cracking.

His Shadow just shook his head. "I don't- I don't wanna live." His words were slurred with tears. "I can't- I can't kill myself I've _tried. _Please. Please there- there isn't another way- there isn't…"

"Death seems a little hasty," was all Sora could reply with.

He still refused to look at his Shadow.

Even when his Shadow grabbed him by the shirt with both hands and shook him, screaming:

"SORA!"

"I'm just saying maybe you don't- maybe you don't have to die," Sora said. He cleared his throat. "I mean- what's… what's wrong?" His eyes darted down towards his Shadow, who knelt there with his head bowed, Sora's shirt bunched between his fingers. "What's got you so twisted up in knots, hmm? Can it be fixed? Can it…"

His Shadow trembled.

"Sora there is no way to fix this!" he cried. "Please just- just _kill me!_"

Sora growled. "I WANT TO KNOW WHY!" he shouted, pulling away from his Shadow. "First," he finished, as his Shadow fell to the ground. "I want to know why first. I want to know what's so terrible that death is the better option."

Sora's Shadow screamed. It shook the air around Sora, and he cringed. The scream wasn't words, just pure frustration. A pained screech.

But finally the screech found coherency, and the yelling turned to words:

"Because I can't do this anymore!"

Sora narrowed his eyes.

"Can't do _what?_"

"This!" he gestured angrily between them. "This battle, this _life_, this… all of it! All of it…"

Sora about screamed again. They were getting nowhere, just repeating the same argument and he was so sick of it.

"You could kill me, instead," he whispered. "That would end it. So why don't you want that? Hmm? Why don't- why don't you want to kill _me? _Why—"

"Sora, stop- stop trying to be _logical_ about this."

"But why aren't _you _being logical about it? Why is _your _death the answer?!" Sora rounded on his Shadow, took a step towards him. His Shadow was still on his knees, but he'd straightened. He looked straight at Sora, fury in his eyes.

"_Do you want to die!?"_

"I want to know why you do!"

His Shadow pounded a fist against the ground. "I already told you!"

"Because you can't do this anymore," Sora repeated, then he chuckled. A sharp, short, _bitter _chuckle. That wasn't a good enough answer for him. Sora swallowed, his voice cracked. "I thought you enjoyed it…" he whispered. "I thought you enjoyed this life…"

"I certainly don't now—I want no more of it!"

Sora shook his head. Blinked back tears.

"I don't want to kill you…"

The thought was unbearable. He didn't even _like _killing. Three people, now, he'd killed, and he'd only meant one of them. He was forced to kill Maleficent. Forced to kill Luxord, too, because of that stupid game. Xaldin was a choice—he'd chosen to fight and kill Xaldin, but he wasn't exactly proud of it. And now his Shadow…

His Shadow got to his feet and growled—a short, frustrated exhale through his nose.

"Do I have to put it this way?" he asked, lips drawn back in a snarl. "Fine. _Fine!_" His mouth then drew into a line, his pose uncertain. He didn't look at Sora, but at the floor. "Maybe Maleficent taking you from me was the best thing that could've happened… It made me realize something."

His Shadow's voice was so quiet that Sora was surprised he understood the words. But that would be their connection at work, wouldn't it? Always able to hear each other. Feel each other.

…except when Maleficent had been interfering.

Did that have something do with what his Shadow was going to say?

"Realize what?" Sora prompted.

"How _dependent_ I am on you." His body shook. His words dripped from his lips like venom. He still wouldn't look Sora in the eye, and the way his fists clench almost made Sora fear he was about to get punched in the face.

"Without you I was losing my mind," his Shadow continued. "I thought I would die. I _wanted _to die—death seemed better than being without you."

The breath caught in Sora's lungs.

"I- I wanted you back and I couldn't _think _about anything else. Just you. How much I missed you." His Shadow's voice slowly shifted from hateful to _longing._ "How much I wanted to see you again… How much I wanted to hear your voice… see your face…"

"What- what are you…?" Sora stammered, but he couldn't finish. Didn't know how to finish. Wasn't sure what to say or how to process what his Shadow was telling him. And the feelings he was overhearing, from his Shadow's heart—no. _No._

"I'm saying I don't want to feel this way," Sora's Shadow finished, looking down at his hands. "I don't want to be dependent on you. I don't want to live like this!"

Sora couldn't help being bitter. "First you thought death was better than being away from me and now you—"

"I SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE THIS, SORA!" his Shadow shouted, teeth bared like fangs. "It's against my nature! I'm- I'm an _abomination! _I _deserve _death! So just! Kill me!"

"BUT WHAT IF I CAN'T!" Sora shouted back. The tears fell freely from his eyes now, and he clenched his fists nervously. "What if I really can't kill you? What if it doesn't work?"

The thought scared him. It terrified him. It wrapped around his heart with icy fingers and nearly choked him. He could hardly bear the thought of killing his Shadow, let alone plunging his blade through his Shadow's heart and having it do _nothing._

What if it did _nothing_?

"It _has _to work!" his Shadow screamed. "It _has _to!"

"I don't want to do this…" Sora mumbled, wiping his eyes. "I don't want to…"

His Shadow hung his head.

"_Please,_" he begged. "P-please just- just…"

Sora gritted his teeth. Closed his eyes. The sight of his Shadow begging, _crying_—it was pitiful. It was horrible and it twisted his stomach in knots. But there wasn't another way out of this, was there? His Shadow was a stubborn _idiot _and he….

…he wanted to die.

Sora could feel it, pounding at the back of his head. Resonating in his heart. His Shadow wanted to die and wanted it so _badly. _He believed it would be some sort of release.

_Idiot, _Sora thought. _Absolute idiot. _

He ground his teeth. There really was no other way, was there? His Shadow wouldn't listen.

"Fine!" Sora barked. He bent down to pick up his Shadow's blade. Shoved it into his Shadow's hands. "_Fine! _But you're gonna fight for it. You're gonna _earn _it. I won't kill you in cold blood—and don't try and tell me that that's not what this is. Don't tell me that this is _mercy._" The word was foul on his tongue. "It's still _messed up _and I don't like it. So we're gonna fight."

His Shadow stared at him, eyes wide.

"We're gonna fight," Sora repeated. "Like we're supposed to, and you're gonna _try. _Just because I'm _probably _gonna kill you in the end doesn't mean you don't have to put up a good fight. Make it- make it convincing. Make me wanna kill you. Make me…"

He trailed off, his bottom lip quivering. He tried not to look at his Shadow, though he was sure his Shadow already knew he was crying. It was easy to tell.

His Shadow wouldn't look him straight on, either. He was probably crying, too, though he hid it well. He readied his blade, silently.

Sora summoned his own, wiped his eyes one last time, then swung his blade downward. He and his Shadow were hardly feet from each other, so he didn't have to move any closer. His Shadow sidestepped. Swiped at him. It was too easy for Sora too dodge.

"_Come on!_" he screamed. "Fight me! Like you _mean _it!"

His Shadow scrunched up his face, either grimacing or snarling. He summoned his chains. Threw them at Sora.

They caught Sora by the wrist. He pulled against them, and they fell away almost immediately, as his Shadow jumped backward. Sora tried to tell himself that his Shadow was just too close for an effective attack, but he knew better.

He wasn't going to get much more effort out of his Shadow.

Sora growled with annoyance, rushed forward. He held the hilt of his blade close to his body. The blade itself pointed forward. If the attack hit, it'd spear his Shadow clean through.

For a second he thought his Shadow wouldn't move.

He did at the last second. Sidestepped again. He didn't attack, though.

Sora sighed.

This really was the most effort he was going to get out of Shadow, wasn't it?


	230. really hard

Hiya I'm sorry I can't stick to a consistent updating schedule

If you want music suggestions "Illusions" (the song) by Two Steps from Hell is... really nice and so is "Gun" by CHVRCHES - I've got links on this chapters' commentary to those tracks if you really want handy links

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><p>Kairi's footsteps echoed all around her. The place was empty by now. No Nobodies. No Heartless. No people…<p>

She wasn't sure _where _Riku would be, or what the chances of finding him were, but they seemed higher than the chances of finding Sora. She _thought _she maybe recognized where she was right now. And she _thought _that if she just headed _this way, _then catching up to Riku wouldn't be so hard. She was at least confident she could make it to where she'd last seen him.

As luck would have it, she _did _find Riku. She ended up coming at him from a different angle than she'd initial expected but, hey. She found him. That's all that mattered.

Correction. What was _happening _when she found him was all that mattered.

Riku was on his knees. His head in his hands. And—was that _Namine?_

_No!_

Kairi stopped trying to process the scene and rushed forward. She threw herself at Namine, sending them both to the ground. Before Namine could recover, Kairi had the sense to pin her to the floor. Had she _really _been trying to…?

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING!?" Kairi screamed.

She couldn't believe it. Couldn't. Namine'd been trying to kill Riku. _Namine _had been trying to _kill _Riku. And Riku wasn't even doing anything about it! Well… that was something she could believe. But that wasn't the _point._

Namine was the kindest girl Kairi'd ever known. She wouldn't harm a fly, as far as Kairi could tell. She wouldn't _kill_ someone. Especially not _Riku. _She cared about Riku too much. And yet…

Here they were.

Kairi, forced to pin Namine to the ground.

Namine, _growling _and shoving against Kairi's chest, in hopes to get her off.

Riku, behind them, crumpled into a sobbing mess.

Namine'd just tried to kill Riku.

Which meant they'd been too late. Riku'd been too late. Namine'd been Rewritten.

"Get off me!" Namine shouted. She continued pushing against Kairi, but to no avail.

Kairi was suddenly very glad Namine hadn't been big on tickle fights—or _any _sort of play fight. That meant she didn't know any of Kairi's weaknesses. If this had been Sora, she would've been screwed. He'd probably have managed to push her off and pin her already, honestly.

But this wasn't Sora.

This was Namine.

And while that was a good thing in terms of Kairi having a possible advantage, it was a bad thing for basically every other reason.

"What were you _doing?_" Kairi repeated, as calmly as possible. Her voice shook—but she wasn't sure if she was angry or about to cry. Maybe it was both.

"_Get off me_!" Namine screamed back, pounding against Kairi now. "Get off me! I'm supposed to kill him and you aren't going to ruin this!"

Kairi cringed at those words. Before she really thought about it, she slapped Namine across the face.

Her fingers stung. Namine's face contorted into a snarl.

Kairi bit her lip. She didn't regret it. Not really.

"How can you say that?" she choked. Her blood was racing with adrenaline. With fury. But there were tears at the edge of her vision. Seeing Namine like this was _horrible._

"She- she was Rewritten," Riku gasped, from behind her. Kairi straightened a little so she could turn and look at him. He'd collapsed completely, his entire body against the floor. His eyes were squeezed shut. His hands curled to fist by his head. As he continued, his words slurred with tears. "She's not…. she's not Namine anymore… she's not…"

That was all he could get out before the sobs hit again.

Kairi chewed her lip for a moment. Then it occurred to her that she was hardly pinning Namine down anymore, and she turned to fix that problem—

—only to be met with a fist to her jaw.

Kairi reeled backwards, and then she was on the ground. She rubbed her jaw, grimacing. When had Namine learned to punch? That'd been a _good _punch.

In the time it'd taken Kairi to recover and appreciate the punch, Namine'd gotten to her feet. She bent down to pick her blade, taking her sweet time about it. Kairi thought about getting up to prepare for Namine's next attack, but Namine's movements made her reconsider. Namine didn't look like she was going to attack soon. She looked like she was dragging this out on purpose.

Kairi swallowed and scrambled over to Riku. He was in an awful state, whimpering and crying. Kairi chewed her lip again, then threw up a Cure for him. It occurred to her only after she'd cast it that Riku probably hadn't _needed _a Cure. He didn't appear to be _physically _harmed. He was just… shaken up. Shaken up in ways a Cure couldn't fix, and Kairi couldn't blame him for.

Seeing Namine like this was…

Kairi shook Riku by the shoulder. "C'mon. Get up," she urged. "C'mon Namine's coming this way you have to fight her!"

Riku just shook his head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I can't."

Kairi gritted her teeth. She'd expected this, but it didn't make it any less frustrating.

"Riku—"

"_I can't!_"

Kairi grunted in annoyance.

"Is that all you can say!?"

"I can't fight her Kairi please don't make me please—nnGH." He cried out in pain, his whole body going rigid. Kairi frowned for a moment, unsure of why he was screaming. Then she saw the electricity dancing across his skin.

She opened her mouth, but then something hit her in the back.

Her heart jolted to a stop. Her thoughts jolted to a stop. Her whole body was on fire.

Then, as quickly as it came, the pain left. Well, the searing agony of the initial blow left. She was still a little tingly, and her skin still burned in places. It wasn't nearly enough pain to stop her, though.

The force of the blow had knocked her to her hands and knees, but she gathered herself up. "Riku, _please,_" she gasped—one last time before she got up to fight Namine herself. One last attempt at pleading with him.

A hand closed around her arm. Namine's grip, though much tighter and crueler than normal. With a strength Kairi didn't know Namine possessed, Namine threw her to the side. Another jolt of lightning went through Kairi. Enough to force her body to collapse and stay down.

Namine didn't even send a glance Kairi's way. Her attention was solely focused on Riku, and she pinned him to the ground with a foot. She aimed her blade at his chest.

"C'mon," she whispered, tauntingly. "C'mon, Riku. Fight me. You heard her. Get up." She kicked him in the side, and he cried out. "I said _get up, _you worthless piece of—"

"CUT IT OUT!" Kairi cried, throwing herself at Namine again.

Namine was prepared this time.

She sidestepped. Her fist connected with Kairi's eye. Kairi couldn't help the scream that left her mouth. She staggered, and Namine swung again. Her knuckles hit Kairi's mouth this time, and Kairi's teeth jangled with the impact.

Kairi punched back. It felt like she hit Namine in the chest—not very effective. She quickly pulled her arm back before Namine could grab it. Jumped backwards to further get out of Namine's way.

She could hardly see out of her left eye, but she could see enough to catch Namine's fist as it swung at her again. Kairi twisted, hard enough that it probably should've snapped Namine's wrist. It didn't, and Namine didn't seem to be in pain, either.

She grabbed Kairi by the neck with her free hand, and _squeezed. _Kairi choked, spluttered for air. She dropped Namine's fist. Watched in horror as Namine summoned her blade. Kairi could feel the tip of it pierce her stomach.

"I said stay out of my way," Namine hissed.

And she threw Kairi back.

**_xXx_**

It'd been a surprise—though not quite a relief—when Kairi had shown up and directed Namine's attention elsewhere. Riku'd sighed when the pressure of the blade left the back of his neck, but the sigh quickly became a sob. The sob soon became multiple, and Riku buried his face in his hands and curled in on himself.

This couldn't be happening.

He couldn't fight her. Couldn't hurt her. Could hardly move from this spot on the floor, even when Kairi begged. She begged and pleaded but he refused to get up. He couldn't get up. Couldn't fight Namine.

He didn't move when the first—second?—lightning bolt hit him. Didn't move when Namine kicked him in the side and commanded him to. Didn't move when he heard Kairi and Namine fighting. He couldn't.

He couldn't bear the weight of this situation. Living it was much worse than fearing it, and he hadn't given himself much time to fear it. He'd been so adamant—it _wasn't _going to happen. Except it did. And here he was, unable to stop his blubbering tears and find the strength to get up. Some hero he was.

Kairi yelped as Namine threw her to the ground. Riku waited for her to get up, but she didn't.

He raked his hands down his face. His instincts told him to move. To make sure Kairi was okay, or, at least, _out _of Namine's line of fire. But he didn't.

So another lightning bolt hit him. Then another. He screamed and dug his teeth into his tongue, trying to keep the memories the pain summoned at bay. They were the last thing he needed right now.

Granted… if he could trigger a Meltdown in Namine…

No. He couldn't do that to her. Not even now.

It's not like it'd save her, anyway, it'd only save him. She was a lost cause. There was no going back from being Rewritten.

"Aren't even gonna try, are ya?" Namine asked, laughing.

Riku opened his eyes to look up at her. She had one hand raised, poised to throw another bolt of lightning. There was a grin on her face. The one she got when she was really excited about a drawing—but she wasn't excited about a drawing now. She was excited about hurting _him._

The thought made Riku sick to his stomach, and he was sure he would've puked had there been anything in him.

"That's alright," Namine said. "We can keep this going for a while."

The grin on her face doubled, and she threw the lightning bolt.

One.

Two.

Three total, she threw. Right in a row.

Riku could feel his body convulse, as the lightning surged through his veins and shook him like a ragdoll. It was a familiar feeling, unfortunately, not that it made it any better. In fact, it was _worse, _because it wasn't Larxene giggling above him. It was _Namine._

She was using his weakness against him. The weakness he'd laid bare on the floor in front of her. Trusted her with. He'd never hated himself for being weak more than he did now.

It took him a moment, but soon he realized he wasn't just screaming in agony. There were words in his screams, words he dreaded to hear himself say.

"Namine please don't do this. Namine please you know how much this hurts. Namine please stop it. Stop it stop it _I didn't do anything wrong._"

Then there was a pause. A relief. It was only when he heard Kairi yelp in pain that he realized she'd taken a blow for him. Riku opened his eyes again and pushed himself up enough to gauge the situation.

Kairi on her knees, facing Namine, but bent over as her body shook with the electricity.

Namine sneering down at the both of them. She didn't look happy to see Kairi, but she also wasn't attacking, either.

"How can you do this?" Kairi gasped. Her voice shook and cracked. Riku wasn't sure if it was the after-effects of the lightning—entirely possible—or just from the emotion of the moment. "How can you _enjoy _this? He's your _best friend _and best friends don't hurt each other. They don't _enjoy _each other's suffering, trust me! Trust me they do _not. _Namine, you—"

"He's not my friend," Namine interrupted, with a scoff. "I _hate _him."

Riku whimpered. Squeezed his eyes shut. Tried to keep breathing, though it felt like something was blocking his lungs.

"I don't think you mean that," Kairi said.

"Yes! I do!" Namine replied.

"Namine—"

"I do! I hate him!" The malice in her voice was clear. "He's _weak _and he's _stupid _and he _disgusts _me."

Her words were like blows. Riku clutched at his hair and tried not to scream. The result was a sound similar to a strangled cat leaving his throat. This was too much. This was too painful.

"Namine I don't think you mean what you're saying," Kairi argued.

"I do to! And I mean _every word!_" Namine shouted. Riku supposed she must've thrown Kairi to the side somewhere in there, because there was her foot in his side again. It couldn't be there if Kairi hadn't been moved.

"Now _get up,_" Namine hissed. "Get up and fight me. _Fight me!_"

"I can't," Riku told her. "I can't _I can't._"

"I can kill you right now, if you'd prefer." He felt her move, her weight shifting until she was either squatting or kneeling next to him—he still didn't open his eyes to see. He didn't need to. He could feel her hot breath in his face as she spoke. "I really could. But I at _least _want a good _fight _out of you!" She straightened, kicked him in the side again. "So get up and _fight _me!"


	231. DRAMATIC CHAPTER TITLE HERE

I wish I could say I'm sorry but I'm not

You should check out this chapter's commentary for a cool AMV for this chapter plus picture/graphic thing I made. Yeah. (Don't worry, the Namiku battle gets a cool AMV too)

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><p>"Why can't you just want to kill me?" Sora sighed, swinging his blade at his Shadow. There were still tears on the edges of his vision, and all of his insides were tied up in knots. "With me gone you wouldn't be dependent on me. With me dead—"<p>

"I said stop trying to be logical about this, Sora," his Shadow spat, blocking the blow, stepping back, swinging his blade. Sora blocked without a problem.

They'd really only been taking turns swinging at each other. They each left more than enough room for the other to block. Sora was having a hard time finding the will to try with this battle, just like his Shadow was.

It was frustrating.

Oh so frustrating.

He didn't even want to be fighting his Shadow.

"It was a rhetorical question!" Sora backed up and sent out a Firaga. His Shadow raised his blade into the spell's path, and it exploded harmlessly once it made contact.

Sora ground his teeth together—at the rate he'd been grinding them, he supposed they'd eventually be ground to nothing. His Shadow was just so _infuriating. _

_Everything _about this was infuriating.

"But I guess if you're willing to answer," Sora said, bitterly. "Then why is it you don't want to kill me?"

His Shadow swallowed. Jumped back, out of Sora's immediate reach. Looked off to the side.

Sora could feel his emotions churning, resonating in his own chest. The feel of them about made him sick, and for a moment he pitied the stomach ache his Shadow must've had right now.

"I- I never- never said I was- was willing to ans- answer," Sora's Shadow stammered.

"Maybe I'd like to know," Sora said.

"I'd like to- to know why you don't- don't wanna kill me," his Shadow answered.

Sora ground his teeth again, then lowered both his blade and his guard. It's not like he needed to have it up, anyway. He knew his Shadow wasn't going to attack him.

"Because I don't have to," Sora said. "Because I only ever 'wanted' to because I thought I needed to. Because my only other option was drowning in darkness." His voice cracked, and he paused to clear his throat before daring to continue: "but if I don't have to kill you—"

He broke off. He couldn't say or suggest anymore. It was too painful. It was wishful thinking, because, apparently, he did have to kill his Shadow. He didn't want to. He wished his Shadow would just _stop _for a second and think this through because death can't have _really _been his only option.

Right?

"Please, Sora." His Shadow sounded so pitiful. So desperate. In tears.

He still thought this was the only way.

Sora wiped his face, furiously, as warm tears fell from his eyes again.

"Why don't you want to kill me?" he asked, _demanded. _He didn't care how desperate he sounded. If his Shadow was going to force this on him, then he was going to let his Shadow know just how much he hated him for it. "Just tell me that."

Sora's Shadow shook his head.

"I can't do that."

Sora gritted his teeth. Blinked back tears. Tried not to scream:

"Why not?"

"It's…"

Sora waited, but his Shadow said no more. He only shuffled uncomfortably. There was an uneasiness in his heart that pounded in Sora's chest. A reluctance.

Sora's lips quivered.

"_Why not?_" he repeated, and he was screaming now.

"It's embarrassing," was all his Shadow could reply.

Sora wanted to punch him. It was _embarrassing? _What did that _matter? _If he was desperate enough to beg to be killed, Sora didn't see how _embarrassment _could hold him back now. Wasn't this already embarrassing _enough?_

Except…

Sora's clenched fist slowly opened, and his jaw went slack. He gaped at his Shadow, for a long moment, still trying to process the feelings resonating within him. His Shadow's feelings.

He didn't need this Shadow to say it, because he knew.

And, now that he thought about it, he'd known for a while. He'd known at least since this battle started, if not longer. He'd just been trying to deny it. Because it _was _too embarrassing to think about. Too horrible.

"You…" he began, but couldn't bear to finish.

"Sora, please." His Shadow raised his blade. "Let's just get on with this."

Sora didn't move.

"You… you _love _me…"

His Shadow froze. There was panic in his eyes.

"I- n-no. No… I… no I don't," he said.

Sora's eyes went wide.

That hadn't been the answer he'd been hoping for. He'd been hoping his Shadow would deny it. Scoff. Laugh it off.

Granted, it wasn't a _yes—_which Sora'd dreaded—but…

"You hesitated," he said, swallowing.

"N- no… I didn't…" his Shadow replied, drawing his words out, as if that would mask his emotions.

"Tell me you don't love me," Sora pleaded.

"I don't love you."

Sora about sighed in relief, except he didn't believe it. His Shadow hadn't hesitated that time, no, but Sora could still feel his Shadow's thoughts. And they were telling him…

"Then- then why don't you want to kill me…?" Sora asked. That would solve it, wouldn't it? That would answer it. If his Shadow could bear to give a legitimate reason—

But he just shook his head, readied his blade, rushed forward.

Sora blocked, clumsily. He could hardly move due to the roiling of his stomach. His mind spun, trying so, _so _hard to process this. What he felt about it. His Shadow _loved_ him? Or was it… another emotion—oh he _hoped—_one he'd misinterpreted?

But, if his Shadow really _did _love him, then…

Sora wasn't sure what to feel about it. At the moment, all he could process was horror.

He and his Shadow kept fighting, if you could call it fighting. It was really just lazy back-and-forths, blows dealt for show, meant to be blocked. Sora was too busy with his churning thoughts to put any more effort into it, and Sora's Shadow hadn't been trying very hard from the start.

In fact, he was hardly trying now.

He was hardly trying, and Sora hated him for it. It was just fuel for the fire of thoughts Sora didn't want to believe. More evidence.

"_Why won't you fight me!?_" Sora screamed, chucking his blade at his Shadow. His Shadow didn't even bother blocking it. It scraped past one of his sides as it flew by, and then boomeranged back to Sora. He almost didn't catch it.

"Because…" his Shadow began, reaching up to place his fingers to his forehead. He slowly raked his fingers across his face—a perfect mirror of the scar on Sora's own skin.

Sora's heart clenched in his chest. He didn't need his Shadow to say the words to know what his Shadow was _going _to say. He could hear them before they even left his Shadow's lips.

_"I can't bear the thought of hurting you. Not again."_

"That didn't seem to matter when you _forced me to kill Maleficent,_" Sora shouted, his voice shaking. He tried to focus on that, and not the obvious answer. The answer neither of them wanted to admit to, but both knew was true. He tried to make himself keep believing his Shadow was disgusting, though all of those beliefs were long gone.

Sora's Shadow grunted in annoyance, either not happy about the accusation or the fact that Sora'd eavesdropped on his thoughts. Or both.

"Trust me, that wasn't easy to do," he argued. "But I didn't have another choi—"

"YES YOU DID!" Sora raked his fingers through his hair, his grip tightening on his blade. "You could've just asked me to help you with her and then—"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT."

"Then _what is?_"

Sora's Shadow just shook his head.

It's not like he needed to speak, though. His heart was so horribly guarded that Sora could practically hear every emotion and every thought pounding in it. The memories were clear, too.

Sora'd puked after the battle with Maleficent. The strain on his body had been horrible, and the strain on his emotions even worse. His Shadow, after running from Disney Castle, had dry heaved for nearly an hour—trying to puke even though his body had nothing to get rid of. Disgust wasn't something you could expel through your lungs. Self-loathing wasn't, either.

Sora didn't need to hear his Shadow say _"I hated myself for forcing you through that" _because he knew.

He knew.

"Oh my gosh…"

Sora squeezed his eyes shut, but the tears wouldn't be stopped.

"I'm sorry," his Shadow gasped.

Sora shook his head, swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat again. He couldn't run from the realization anymore, because he could _feel _it beating in his Shadow's heart. He could hardly even be horrified at it, anymore.

"You love me," he said, again.

And this time there was no hesitation in his voice. He was certain now.

"_NO!_" his Shadow protested, his heart roaring with denial.

But there was no convincing Sora otherwise. Not anymore.

"You _love _me!" he repeated, yelling the words at the top of his lungs. He wanted his Shadow to _admit _it. If they were to suffer this, they were going to suffer it together.

"NO I DON'T!"

"Admit it!"

"I DON'T LOVE YOU SORA, I HATE YOU!"

He chucked darkness at the ground as he screamed and screeched in protest. Not a single blow came anywhere near hitting Sora. They all hit the ground and roared up around him, but none were close enough to be dangerous.

Sora hung his head.

This was too much.

Was his Shadow's heart constricted like this, too? Did the realization make it hard to breathe, like it did for Sora? He was positive of what he felt, but that didn't mean he was happy with it. How was he supposed to continue with the knowledge that his Shadow _loved _him?

"I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, SORA! I HATE YOU I HATE! EVERYTHING! I HATE EVERYTHING!"

Sora's knees gave way beneath him. He buried his face in his hands.

Why had he let it get this far? Why hadn't he just bit the bullet and killed his Shadow sooner? As horrible as that thought was, it was better than this one. He'd have rather gone in ignorance…

The sound of his Shadow slumping to the ground made him look up. His Shadow had fallen to his knees, hands tearing at his hair as he trembled with sobs.

"Do- do you see why I want to die now?" he demanded. His voice trembled as much as his body did, and there was contempt in it. "I'm an abomination for loving _you _of all… of all people. I don't want to feel like this anymore. Sora _please…_"

Sora nodded, very slowly.

He understood.

His Shadow wanted to die because he thought it'd be release. He thought there was nothing after death, and feeling nothing was better than feeling love for Sora. Feeling nothing was better than feeling _any _of the things he was feeling_._

Sora wasn't quite sure if death meant nothingness, but maybe for his Shadow, it did. He was just darkness taken physical form. Was there a life after death for dark creatures like him? Or did they really just cease to exist?

Sora didn't know, and supposed he'd never know.

But he couldn't keep this going any longer. It was too cruel of him, and he'd never enjoyed being cruel.

So he got to his feet.

Picked his blade up off the ground.

Raised it to strike.

He didn't say a word.

He didn't have to.

Sora's Shadow smiled, and got to his feet, too.

He closed his eyes.

Opened his arms wide to receive the blow.

"Thank you."

Sora could hardly see through his tears. Each step towards his Shadow was slow and arduous. His feet were like lead. If his arms weren't already raised to deal the blow, he doubted he would've been able to get them up, either. They were just as heavy as his feet.

He cried the whole time. A mess of tears and sobs he couldn't hold back.

_It's for the better, _he told himself. _It's what he wants. You can do it._

It was still hard. He still didn't really _want _to… but…

Finally—_finally—_he managed to deliver the finishing blow.

He shoved his blade through his Shadow's chest, and that's all it took.

His Shadow erupted into light then and there—tiny little particles of light. Well, there was _one _particle that was bigger than the rest. It was about the size of Sora's fist, and shone quite a bit brighter.

The rest of the particles floated away from Sora and his blade, still holding up the ghostly image of his Shadow.

"There it is," his Shadow laughed. His voice was grainy and distant. "The heart I shouldn't have—I stole it from you. Not on purpose, of course."

Sora cupped the larger bit of light—the heart—in his hands.

"It's mine?"

"Can't be mine," his Shadow replied.

Sora wasn't sure if that was quite true, but he wasn't sure how to argue, either.

"What do you want me to do with it?" he asked, looking up at his Shadow.

"Take it back," his Shadow said, like it were obvious. "You don't exactly have another choice… If you don't, it's either gonna become a Heartless, or worse, end up in the Organization's Kingdom Hearts."

Both of those options would be bad.

Sora nodded, and held the heart to his chest. It melted into him.

"Goodbye, Sora," his Shadow said.

"Goodbye…"

And then his Shadow's image was gone.

Sora closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was hardly closure, but he admitted that, now the heart was back in his chest, he felt a little fuller. More stable.

He ran a hand over his face. Part of this was to wipe away any remaining tears, but the rest was just out of exhaustion. The past few hours had been really draining physically, and _emotionally, _well, after that battle…

"Gee, Sora… are you okay?"

Sora opened his eyes at the sound of Mickey's voice. He turned to the King and smiled a smile that was much more confident than he actually felt.

"I'm okay," he said. Then the smile fell a little, as he realized he had no idea how long Mickey'd been standing there—or, nearby. He ran a hand nervously through his hair, his cheeks flushing with heat. "How, uh- how much did you see?"

The thought of anyone besides him and his Shadow knowing about the whole… about this battle was incredibly embarrassing. And _Mickey, _of all people, knowing… Especially if he'd been around long enough to hear Sora and his Shadow arguing about… his Shadow… loving him…

"I saw you deal the finishing blow," Mickey replied. He didn't say any more, which almost made Sora wonder if he wasn't telling the whole truth…

Sora let out a long breath, relieved. He reached up to wipe his cheeks again—he was still crying. Not quite as hard as before, but a little.

"Are ya sure you're okay?" Mickey asked.

"I… yeah," Sora said. "I didn't really wanna kill him… but…" He hesitated, rethinking what he was going to say. Telling Mickey of his Shadow's death wish didn't seem like a good idea. He doubted his Shadow wanted _anyone _to know, let alone _Mickey_. He'd sent Kairi away for a reason, after all.

"But I didn't have another choice," Sora finished.

He realized he still had to explain why, exactly, he hadn't wanted to kill his Shadow. Mickey'd likely be curious about that. Sora didn't get a chance, though. Mickey nodded, solemnly, then said:

"Well, I hate to ask something of ya, especially now, but I need a favor."

"Sure."

Sora didn't even hesitate. It'd be rude to refuse, and anyway, there were probably more important things going on than what he felt towards his Shadow's death.

"Xemnas is still alive," Mickey said.

Sora raised his eyebrows. "He was dead? Or, well, he obviously wasn't ever _actually _dead, but—"

"Oh, that's right, you weren't there." Mickey chuckled a little. "Well, Riku 'n Roxas fought him, and he faked a very convincing death. But then I saw 'im after Roxas left—"

"You were there?"

"I was waitin' around, to see if they needed my help," Mickey explained. "They were already fightin' him when I got there, and they seemed to be handling it pretty well…"

"Except he's still alive," Sora said.

Mickey nodded. "Mmhmm."

"Well… what do you need me for?"

"I need ya to help me defeat him for good," Mickey said, very seriously. "He's retreated to his Kingdom Hearts—I think he's gonna use it to… well… who knows what, but I can't be good!"

"Right!"

And they were off.


	232. EPIC AND INSPIRING CHAPTER TITLE HERE

pst so remember how I said I had a SoShad amv thing for ch231? Guess what there's a Namiku amv for this chapter too and you can find it conveniently over at the blog yay

Also. Also also also. I have like. three more chapters. And then I'm done with Dead Inside. Done writing it, anyway, (it's still about 15 chapters to _post_)

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><p>"THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS! GATHER SOLDIERS! TIME TO—"<p>

"KAIRI WHAT THE HELL!" Riku interrupted, sharply.

He was still on the ground, lying on his stomach. He'd hardly moved an inch, actually. Namine was pacing the battlefield, waiting for Kairi to leave an opening. Kairi was very careful about staying between Namine and Riku, all while screaming what sounded like poems—or song lyrics? Not that he recognized any of the songs—at the top of her lungs. She'd been doing that for nearly five minutes now.

"I'm trying to drown Namine out!" Kairi snapped, throwing a quick glare at Riku before returning her attention to Namine. "Unless you _really _want to hear her…"

Riku bit his lip, silently admitting that, yeah, being unable to hear what Namine was saying over Kairi's screaming had been kind of nice. Namine had kept up a near constant stream of "c'mon Riku just get up and fight it's not that hard. You really are useless, aren't you?" along with a bunch of other foul things that pained Riku to hear coming out of Namine's mouth.

However, enduring Kairi yelling was something he could only do for so long. He'd hit his limit. His ears throbbed, and he covered them with his hands. No, he didn't want to hear what Namine was saying, not really. But if only Kairi could be a little _quieter_…

He was restless. He wanted to run, but he wasn't sure if he could trust his legs once he stood up.

He had to do something though, right? How much longer could Kairi keep this up? Namine was hesitating in attacking her, _for now, _but how long would it last? It couldn't last long.

_Get up, then, _he told himself. _Throw yourself in front of Kairi before she can shield you—take the blow Namine wants to deal and just… get this over with._

_There's no sense having Kairi getting hurt for me. There's no winning this anyway._

The blood pounding in his eardrums blurred with Kairi's not-quite-muffled shouting and the ever-present rise and fall of Namine's voice. It was unfortunate that plugging your ears did so little. But after a moment, Riku thought he heard a voice—

_"Are you really giving up? You made me a promise…"_

"Namine!" he gasped, uncovering his ears and looking up. He pushed himself up to his elbows, then hung his head, biting back tears.

The voice had only been in his head.

_Promise? _He thought, wearily. _But you made me promise to… to kill you if they rewrote you, right? And I can't…_

"I can't, I can't, I _can't_."

He clutched at his hair and tried not to scream, though he so desperately wanted to.

A bolt of lightning—one of the only things Kairi had trouble protecting him from—hit him. He did scream then, his body flung back like a ragdoll. He landed on his side, near the center of the area, but away from Namine, at least.

"Riku, please get up!"

_I can't…_

But that voice _wasn't _in his head. It was real and as tangible as sound could be. Kairi's voice. She was begging again. He tried to push himself up, to acknowledge her, but he could barely raise his head an inch off the ground. The pain was too much.

Kairi was on her hands and knees not far from him. Her left eye was swollen and black, and her bottom lip was split and bleeding—or it had been. She looked between him and Namine, then continued, earnestly:

"You don't have to fight her! I won't make you—I'll do all the hitting if you'd like, you just have to _get up. _You're too easy a target otherwise."

He really should get up. Defend himself, at the least. And if it did come down to it, Kairi could do the killing. He hated to make her do it, and hated himself for being too weak to do it himself… but the thought of raising his blade against Namine was unbearable.

Now he just needed to get up.

"Don't bother, Kai," Namine sneered. She kicked Kairi to the ground and pinned her there, her foot pressed to Kairi's neck. "He's not going to listen. He won't fight me—he _can't. _Why else do you think they picked _me _to be the weapon made to kill him?"

"I thought you wanted him to fight you…" Kairi grumbled.

"That's not the point!" Namine snapped. "If he can't, fine, I need to get this over with already anyway."

"_Kai?_" Riku asked, squinting at Kairi.

Kairi stared.

"You really haven't _ever_ heard Sora call me that?"

"Uh….. no….?"

"How _is_ Sora doing, anyway? I hope he's doing well…" Namine said, pressing her foot harder against Kairi's neck. She giggled, not sounding the tiniest bit concerned about Sora's actual well-being.

And that's when it hit Riku.

He sat up on his knees, _slammed _his palms against the ground.

"KAIRI DON'T LISTEN TO HER!" he shouted. "She's just trying to antagonize you and once she's gotten under your skin you'll be too pissed to fight properly."

Kairi groaned slightly. "Glad you know her strategies," she mumbled.

"Of course I do…"

Riku's fingers curled into fists. His body trembled.

"Because this is exactly what Larxene would do."

He was kicking himself for not realizing it sooner. He'd recognized that Namine was acting like Larxene before, yes—it was too obvious not to notice—but he hadn't fully realized what that _meant. _They hadn't just Rewritten Namine to be cruel and given her command over lightning to further piss him off. No.

They'd given her Larxene data, and a _lot_ of it from the feel of things.

Namine'd stopped being Namine, and that was terrible enough. But now he realized that she hadn't just stopped being Namine… she'd started being _Larxene._

And he wasn't afraid.

He'd never been afraid.

Horrified of what had happened to Namine? Upset? Yes. Too horrified to lift his blade against her? A thousand times, _yes._

But he wasn't scared.

And this wasn't Namine.

Riku pushed himself to his feet. Tears stung in his eyes, but he tried to ignore them.

"I get what they did to her, now," he said—his voice shook with his tears and fury and his fists were clenched hard enough that his fingernails broke his skin, leaving blood on his palms. "They were short on time and out of ideas, so they went with the obvious one. Make her just like Larxene…"

Namine grinned and backed off from Kairi. Riku tried not to look directly at her. He was on his feet and prepared to fight, but it didn't make this any less painful.

"The girl I love… the woman I hate… both in the same body." Riku sighed. Unclenched his fists. Summoned his blade. "I don't think I can kill her, but maybe I do have the nerve to fight her…"

Darkness pulsed through his veins. He could feel it strengthening him. Further erasing all fear. Namine couldn't be saved, and he hated Larxene so much—_especially _for wearing Namine's skin.

"Kairi," he turned to look at her, watching as she straightened to her feet. She wiped blood off her lips, wiped her hand on her shorts. She was pretty beaten up, he realized, and all for him… And now he was only going to ask more of her.

"Kairi," he repeated. "I really am going to need you to do the dirty work, and I'm sorry. She made me promise to kill her if she got like this—I don't think I can do it myself, but someone has to."

"You sure?" Kairi asked, hesitantly.

Riku nodded. "Positive. There's no way to fix her, unless 37 was dumb enough to save her original file." Riku gritted his teeth, attention returning to Namine. "Besides…. letting someone with Namine's face and Larxene's mind walk around free seems like the dumbest idea in the worlds."

Kairi turned away from him, settling into a fighting stance.

"Glad to know you're fighting with me," she said. "But I'm not going to kill her—we're gonna subdue her, somehow, and drag her to C.O., got it? They can fix her there."

Riku growled. Bit back tears.

"I said she was a lost cause—"

"AND I'M SAYING SHE'S MY FRIEND TOO, RIKU," Kairi screamed. Another look at her proved she was crying, trembling, just like he was. "You can't just tell me I have to _kill her _all willy-nilly like that. You can't just…"

"Are we going to fight each other or what?" Namine asked.

Kairi turned away from Riku, called blades of light to her hands. "Friends don't give up on each other, anyway," she said. "They hold out for each other. Do whatever they can for each other." She readied herself to attack, jumped forward, bringing a blade down to strike Namine. "I'M NOT GIVING UP ON HER SO EASILY."

**xXx**

Xemnas was waiting at the top of the Castle, on the top of an open tower which overlooked the whole world. The moon that was Kingdom Hearts—fabricated or not—took up nearly half the sky from this vantage point. Xemnas stood in front of it, staring longingly up at it.

Mickey summoned his blade. He held it by his side, ready for battle, but not entirely looking prepared to attack. When Sora summoned his own Keyblade, Mickey held out a hand to signal him to wait.

Sora did, watching curiously as Mickey took a step towards Xemnas.

"…Terra," he said.

Xemnas went rigid for a moment, then relaxed. "Of all names I expected to hear… _that_ was not one of them."

He turned to face them. If he was shocked, it was well hidden. He didn't look the slightest bit shocked. In fact, he _smiled, _pleasantly, as if he were addressing a friend.

"It's been a long time," Xemnas finished. He even _spoke _as if he were addressing a friend. It made Sora grit his teeth, but Mickey didn't even acknowledge it.

Mickey just shook his head.

"No…" he whispered. "You're not Terra, and you haven't been for a long time. You're _Xehanort._" And now Mickey raised his blade. "You took Terra's body and used it for your own gain—and when that wasn't enough, you took Ansem's name, too!"

Xemnas only chuckled, lightly. "A new body was necessary," he explained. "It would have been a shame if I died of old age before my research was complete. And the new name ended up being necessary, too. 'Xehanort' carried too much negativity. Too much hostility. I couldn't go anywhere under it. Couldn't get anything done."

"And what did you do with the real Ansem?" Mickey demanded.

Sora raised his eyebrows, but refrained from asking questions. So the Ansem he'd fought, the one who'd used his body, that… _wasn't _Ansem? It was someone just _going _by Ansem… and yet Xemnas spoke as if that were him. But it _can't _have been…

_Yes it could've, _he told himself, suddenly a little annoyed. _Xemnas is the Nobody. Ansem was the Heartless. Two halves of the man Xehanort._

Sora grimaced, trying to remember where he'd learned that Ansem—or whatever his real name was—was a Heartless. Also… who was Xehanort? Mickey'd mentioned him before, but he'd never explained _who _Xehanort was.

"Ansem the Wise?" Xemnas asked. His smile widened further. "I would assume he's still in the Realm of Darkness, where I sent him years ago."

"And Terra?" Mickey's voice darkened drastically. "Where is he?"

Xemnas downright laughed. "I suppose he's somewhere with my heart, though that was extinguished a while ago!" His eyes settled on Sora.

_Ansem… Xehanort's Heartless… I killed him… and…. Terra?_

The thought made Sora uncomfortable, even more so when Mickey turned to look at him, too.

"Well? What was I supposed to do?" Sora asked, exasperated. _Just LET Ansem have my body again?_

"It's fine," Mickey assured him. His face softened, but it was sad. "Terra couldn't have been saved in that state, anyway."

"…how do we know Xemnas isn't just saying that to tick us off?" Sora asked, lowering his voice a little more. "What if Terra wasn't with Ansem?"

"Then he's with Xemnas," Mickey answered. "But that doesn't mean we can afford to go easy on him. There's too much at stake." He shook his head, sadly. "Terra would've wanted it this way, though. He wouldn't want us to save him and risk the safety of the worlds."

Sora wasn't quite sure if Mickey was saying that to reassure him, or to reassure himself.

"Who's Terra?" Sora blurted. He couldn't hold it in any longer.

"An old friend."

"And Xehanort?"

Since Mickey'd deflected this question earlier, Sora wasn't surprised when all he answered was:

"An old enemy."

"And… Ansem?"

"Another old friend, and a good man," Mickey said. "Xehanort got rid of him and took his name for the sake of research. But his research went too far. He decided the only way to learn what he needed to was to turn himself into a Heartless—and he took the rest of Ansem's research team with him."

So there was a larger bone to pick with Xemnas—Xehanort?—than the simple "he's going to destroy everything if we don't stop him". Sora readied his Keyblade and steadied his mind. This was going to be a long battle, he could feel it, but a more than necessary one.

"They all went willingly, I promise you," Xemnas said.

The smirk on his face suggested otherwise.

Mickey's eyes narrowed, and his stance deepened. Power absolutely _radiated _from him. Sora was quite glad he was on Mickey's side, but he hoped the anger wouldn't distract Mickey from the battle.

"Kingdom Hearts!" Xemnas called, before either of them could attack. He turned back to face the moon, reaching his arms up to it. "Lend me your power, so that I may stop these fools who dare threaten our progress!"

Sora turned to Mickey, wondering what their move should be.

Mickey lunged a few steps forward. "Xemnas! Wait!" he cried, his anger fading quickly. "You don't know what you're—"

The area exploded into light.


	233. Darkness of the Unknown or something

Darkness of the Unknown _is _Xemnas' battle music right? _Right? _I was too lazy to check. Not that it actually has anything to do with the chapter in terms of symbolism or anything. It'd only be there because this is the Xemnas battle.

This _also_ has nothing to do with the chapter but you should check out the blog because I posted a fanmix I made for canon!Namine and I'm really super proud of it so here I am shamelessly advertising it

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><p>Sora opened his eyes. The area had shifted around them, and suddenly they weren't on the tower. They were in a wide open space, or something that <em>looked <em>like it. Sora couldn't tell where the sky met the ground, or if there were walls or anything. It was all just a bunch of shifting greys.

Before Sora had a chance to figure out _what _exactly he was _standing_ on, someone grabbed him by his jacket and threw him in the air. Mickey'd been thrown, too. Obviously, Xemnas had thrown them.

Sora did his best to recover mid-flight, but something hit him in the back. A tendril of… _something… _and there was another! He shifted his weight to avoid them as best is possible. They weren't darkness… didn't look or _feel _like it… but then what—

_Nothingness._

One had pierced his skin, and that's all it took. Something about the way it stung, the way it cut, and he knew. It was nothingness, turned into a solid form. Ironic, really, but now wasn't the time to consider _that._

Sora threw himself this way and that, trying to avoid the tendrils. They didn't fade quickly, unfortunately, so not only did he have avoid the new ones, he had the _old _ones to worry about, too. They tore his clothes and cut his skin in places where the clothes couldn't protect it—

But then there were no new tendrils, and the older ones had faded. It was enough for Sora to be able to drop to the ground, and he did so, only stumbling slightly.

Mickey was already running at Xemnas. He jumped over Xemnas's attack—a blast of what looked like Riku's Dark Firaga—and then brought his Keyblade down on Xemnas.

Sora rushed over there to help. He hardly made it three steps. Xemnas shot a bunch of nothingness tendrils out at him, forcing him back. Sora gritted his teeth in annoyance. What was he supposed to do? A spell like Fire seemed a little dumb, especially when he felt as low on magic as he did. He should save that for Cures.

Sora made his way to Xemnas again, slowly, so he could avoid whatever Xemnas threw.

_This isn't going to be an easy battle. Survival is key. Don't get reckless._

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

That's when Xemnas appeared right next to him.

Sora jumped in surprise. Once he'd regained himself, he dealt a combo, but it was all he got before Xemnas vanished again.

Sora scanned the area, waiting for him to reappear. When Xemnas did, there were _two _of him. Sora thought that was a little strange, but upon attacking the nearest one he discovered it was an illusion. That would explain it.

The sound of clashing blades made him turn around. Mickey was blocking Xemnas, who'd attempted to attack Sora in his distraction. Xemnas had some sort of blades made of solidified red light… Ethereal Blades…

Sora pushed the thought aside and attacked while Xemnas was trying to break Mickey's defenses. He hardly got a combo before Xemnas vanished.

There were two of Xemnas when he reappeared again, and again Sora went for the closest one. His blade didn't go right through this time. One, two strikes and then Xemnas retaliated with a strong counterattack that knocked Sora off his feet and forced the air out of his lungs.

"Heal!" Mickey called. Strength returned to Sora's bones, and the air returned to his lungs, but he stumbled as he got back to his feet.

_Boy I'm glad Mickey's here, _he thought with a sigh.

Xemnas teleported again—it was just one of him this time—but Mickey was quick to reach him. Two leaps, bringing his blade down on the second. He did this every time Xemnas teleported, dodging whatever Xemnas threw, then striking Xemnas with a consistent three quick blows before darting away so Xemnas's counterattack couldn't hit him.

Sora was incredibly impressed, and wished longingly that _he _was that good.

_Mickey's been doing this for longer, though, _he told himself. _Regardless, you'll never keep up like this. Magic's probably your best bet._

He sighed, but couldn't argue with himself. And he had a couple ethers on him, still.

Sora raised his blade and cast Fira, waited, cast Fira again. The first missed because Xemnas teleported. The second hit, but it didn't seem to do much. Sora grimaced and jumped back to further distance himself from Xemnas—not that'd it do him any good, since Xemnas could teleport. He dug an ether out of his pocket and took another step back anyway, only to hit a wall.

Or, a barrier…

He put a hand against it, completely captivated. It wasn't like the other barriers he'd seen, which tainted the air with a yellow or bluish color. This one didn't even look like it _existed. _It was completely invisible, an impressive illusion.

Was all of this an illusion? Or, the battleground, at least….

_But now isn't the time to be thinking about that! _he scolded himself. _You're bait sitting here, c'mon! Get moving!_

He downed the ether he'd pulled out, sent out another blast of Fira, and rushed forward to attack Xemnas. His blade went right through—the copy! He started to turn to locate the _real _Xemnas, but that's when Xemnas's blades struck him from behind.

They scraped along his back once, twice, at _least. _He cried out in pain as his body was flung forward, and the world went black—

—the next thing Sora remembered was his feet touching the ground. Mickey backed away from him, sending a glance up at him. The way Mickey radiated energy made Sora think he'd just been healed, and the look Mickey was giving him made him wonder how serious it'd been.

"You alright there?" Mickey asked.

Sora nodded.

"Good. Get moving."

And Mickey darted off.

Sora swallowed the thank you on his lips and summoned his Keyblade again. He'd have to thank Mickey later.

The battle continued like it had. Xemnas kept teleporting, and Sora could hardly keep up. Mickey managed to attack Xemnas nearly every time, however, picking up for Sora's slack. Sora felt bad, but there was nothing he could do. He just wasn't quick enough.

Xemnas moved around too much and his nothingness tendrils kept pushing Sora back. It wasn't long before Xemnas was shooting _lasers _at them, either. _Lasers. _And to make things worse, his _copy _could shoot lasers—_real _lasers—too! Sora could hardly avoid any of these attacks, let alone avoid them with as much _grace _as Mickey could.

_We're doing fine, though, _Sora told himself. _Even if I'm not quick enough, Mickey certainly—_

The thought broke off as Xemnas hit Mickey with his counterattack.

"MICKEY!" Sora shouted, rushing forward.

He slowed as Mickey got to his feet. He'd gotten up much quicker than Sora expected him too. Sora prepared a Cure, but he didn't need it. Mickey tossed one up for himself almost immediately. The healing effects flooded through Sora, too, which was a relief.

Then Xemnas threw Mickey back with a blast of his nothingness tendrils.

"Could you spare a heart?" he asked, mockingly.

Just as Sora was trying to figure out what that meant, Xemnas turned and plunged his hand _into _Sora's chest.

Pain washed through Sora—so much more acute and horrible than any physical pain. Xemnas's fingers curled around his heart. He was paralyzed, _literally _hanging in mid-air in Xemnas's grasp. He couldn't do anything. Couldn't even scream. His heart was being ripped from his body and there was _nothing _he could do about it.

_NO!_ he cried out, silently, as his vision blackened at the edges.

He didn't want to die.

Let alone let _Xemnas _have his heart.

That's when Mickey reached them.

Mickey pried Xemnas off of Sora, and shoved him back with a clean kick to the chest. Sora's knees nearly gave way beneath him as his feet touched the ground. He started to thank Mickey, but Mickey was already attacking Xemnas.

Xemnas scoffed, and vanished.

Mickey tossed a Cure up for Sora.

"Thanks," Sora said. One thanks didn't seem like enough, but it was all he could get in at the time.

"Uh-huh," Mickey replied, absently, as he scanned the area for Xemnas.

Sora looked around, too, and then pointed. "There!" he called.

Xemnas was floating about twenty feet off the ground, his arms raised high above his head. The sky darkened around him, and then darkness fell on the whole area. Sora took a breath to keep himself from panic. Light was already returning, in spots…

…except that wasn't light.

Those were lasers.

Mickey quickly cast Reflect. It caught the first brunt of the lasers as they rained down.

"Get ready to block," Mickey warned.

Sora did so, unquestioning. The Reflect came down within seconds, and then it was all Sora could do to block and dodge the lasers. They kept coming, and coming. Sora kept blocking, and blocking, until his arms were sore but he didn't dare stop.

Mickey threw up another Reflect, to catch the last of the lasers, then threw up a Cure for the both of them. Sora slumped forward, exhausted.

"Let's finish this now," Mickey said. He grabbed Sora's Keyblade with his own hand, forcing Sora to raise it.

Sora was a little confused at first, but then the energy started flooding through him, and he realized why the physical contact was necessary. They were building power, channeling it between them and then through Sora's Keyblade. Sora poured his own power into it, not holding back.

They aimed at Xemnas. Sora's Keyblade glowed white hot, and then light burst from it. It solidified into one streak. Pierced Xemnas clean through.

"Accursed… Keyblade…" Xemnas grumbled.

And then he was gone.

It was over.

The illusion around them faded, and they were back on the tower. The Kingdom Hearts hanging in the sky had vanished.

Sora turned to Mickey. "Is that it?"

Mickey nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Should we wait around in case he comes back?"

Mickey laughed. "Nah, I can tell he's gone for real this time," he said. "The air just… _feels _cleaner, ya'know?"

Sora shook his head.

"Oh well." Mickey shrugged.

"So… now what?" Sora asked.

"We go home. And… maybe get some sleep."

Sora chuckled. That sounded nice. "Yeah, okay—" But then he paused. There was a tug on his heart. A pounding in his mind. Something was wrong. He looked down at Mickey, face scrunched up in concern. "Riku's in trouble."

"What?" The smile fell from Mickey's face. "How can ya tell? What's wrong?"

Sora shook his head. "Not sure. But I've gotta go help!" He started off.

"Sora wait!" Mickey called. "Do ya even know where he is?"

"I can get there!"

Sora didn't stop again.


	234. CHAPTER TITLE THAT MAKES YOU GO OH NO

I completely forgot to mention like two chapters ago and I'm so so so sorry for that but _thank you _so so much for the nice reviews on ch231. Thank you so much. I expected to upset a lot of people with it and getting the exact opposite of what I expected was really, _really _nice. Thank you.

OH AND GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT. I FINISHED IT. I DID IT I FINISHED DEAD INSIDE ch246 is gonna be the last chapter. We've got like. 12 chapters to go? Yeah. 12 chapters.

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><p>Riku slid back as the light burst from Kairi. The attack looked powerful, and he wondered briefly where she'd learned it—she'd obviously learned it in the last month or so. It was raw, and unrefined, but he supposed as long as it did the job…<p>

He readied himself to strike, but hesitated. The idea of striking Namine with his blade… drawing blood… it made him sick. He'd have to do it, sooner or later, if he hoped to win, but that didn't make it any more appealing. He gritted his teeth and tried to steel his nerve. He had to do _something, _and he couldn't be such a _baby _about it.

He summoned darkness to his fingers, jumped back. The darkness solidified into Dark Firaga, and he aimed. Fired.

Kairi jumped back, landing on Riku's left. Namine stumbled a little, then straightened, grinning.

"You say friends don't give up on each other," she called. "But you gave up on Sora."

"I did not!" Kairi shouted back. The way she tensed made Riku think she wanted to punch Namine in the face.

"Kairi, try not to listen to her," Riku said, preparing another blast of darkness. He'd wait to attack with his blade. He'd wait.

"You didn't?" Namine completely ignored Riku. Her attention was all on Kairi, and that was a _bad _thing. "Hmm… because I seem to recall that you spent _three months _sitting on the islands with me, wishing that he'd come back."

"How does that sound like giving up?" Kairi scoffed. Her voice isn't nearly as strong as before, though, and the light that surrounded her was growing weaker. Riku hoped she was just worn out the attack. It had been incredibly flashy. Hopefully Larxene—_Namine—_wasn't getting to her.

"Kairi," Riku warned. Namine sent a murderous glance at him. With a flick of her fingers she sent a jolt of electricity at him, effectively cutting him off. He choked back a shout as his body trembled. Plunged his blade into the floor to steady himself and maybe ground the electrical current.

He refused to scream. Refused to let this incapacitate him. The moment he went down to a single lightning bolt was the moment this battle was lost.

When he came to his senses again, Namine was in the middle of a sentence.

"—occurred to you to _get off your butt _and go after him, for starters."

Kairi was pale and shaking. Her fists clenched. She chewed her lip.

This really was getting to her. Riku had to speak up, stop Namine, _something_—but he didn't trust his legs to move and words didn't want to leave his mouth.

"How's that sound for not giving up on your friends, hmm?" Namine laughed. "If you cared about Sora so much, why didn't you—"

"I WAS SCARED!" Kairi screamed. Namine looked surprised to be interrupted, but then she smirked. Riku growled in annoyance, but he still didn't trust himself to move. Kairi continued:

"I was scared that what I'd find wouldn't be him. I was scared that I'd look for him and wouldn't be able to find him." She shook her head. Tears fell from her cheeks. "It's just like why Riku thinks you're a lost cause who can't be saved—he's not given up on _you_, he's just given up on hope, because the situations that have ensnared you seem too much for him to overcome."

Namine rolled her eyes, still smirking. "That still sounds like you've given up to me."

"You don't understand—or if you did, you've forgotten. It's harder when it's someone close to you." Kairi's voice was quiet. "Sora's like my brother. Riku thinks you're the best thing in all the worlds. When you have someone that close to you, you fear losing them so _much—_you fear it more than you fear losing yourself. Your life stops mattering, because what's it supposed to be like without them?"

Riku's heart seized in his chest. That was _exactly_ what it felt like.

"It still took you three months—" Namine began.

"_Five,_" Kairi corrected. "It took me five. I counted the days, hated myself more every one for thinking that sitting by was the better option." Her voice shook, and her whole body trembled with pent up emotion. "But you don't know what it's like… seeing someone you love… seeing them look at you and spit in your face. Seeing them look at you and threaten to harm you. Seeing them look at you but all you see in their eyes is _darkness._"

The words tugged Riku's heart. She was right. That feeling was horrible, and it pressed in on him. Every moment he looked at Namine. The girl he loved, out to kill him…

"But don't you see, Riku?" Kairi's voice cracked, but she sent a smile at Riku anyway. "Sora came back. Sora came back, after all that happened to him. So I refuse to believe Namine's lost too!"

She prepared for an attack.

Riku straightened and raised his blade.

"You're wrong."

Namine's voice was so quiet Riku hardly heard her.

"Huh?" Kairi asked.

"I do know what it's like," Namine whispered.

The images washed over Riku—brief, but potent.

_The walls of what looked like Castle Oblivion, stained black with darkness._

_Himself, cloaked in darkness. _Bathed_ in the stuff as it writhed and snaked around him._

_He looked happier than ever._

At first Riku was a little disturbed, but then he saw it. A figure cowering in the corner, below him. A figure that looked remarkably like Larxene.

The grin from the image echoed on his own face.

"I won't let you!" Namine shouted.

For a moment she sounded lucid. Like herself. It was enough to break Riku's trance, just slightly.

She looked scared. Absolutely _livid _with fear.

"I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN!" she screeched. "EVEN IF IT MEANS KILLING YOU HERE BEFORE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE."

Her blade pierced his cheek.

The spell broke.

Riku stumbled back, shoved her blade away from his face. Before he could retaliate, Kairi pulled him back. She linked her arm through his, glowing with light again.

"Follow my lead," she instructed.

"Uhm?" Riku swallowed, sending a glance down at her, then over at Namine. Why did she seem so frightened? Why did the string of images bother her so much? He tried to tell himself it was just the Rewrite, but that didn't make sense. Fear wasn't a logical emotion to program into anyone, not when you had the option to Rewrite them entirely. What was it about those images that scared her enough to—

"Riku!" Kairi hissed.

He shook his head, looked down at her again. Right. Attack. Combo attack.

"Uh." He blinked rapidly, trying to get his mind to shift gears. "Uh- I. I can't do light."

"No duh. Use darkness, you big idiot."

"Right."

Riku summoned the darkness in him, relished in it as it poured through his veins.

"Wait," he said. "Is it gonna hurt her—"

"RIKU NOW ISN'T THE TIME!"

"Right. Right. Sorry."

They attacked.

Strength filled Riku—much more strength than darkness alone could supply him with—as he and Kairi both leapt forward. They attacked Namine with alternating strikes. Alternating hits of light and darkness, then they separated and jumped back.

They only exchanged one glance, but somehow Riku knew what to do.

They leapt into the air in unison and hit the ground at the same. Light erupted from Kairi. Darkness from Riku. The blasts hit each other in a glowing wave, and then bowled Namine over.

She screamed.

It wasn't a frustrated, furious scream. It was a cry of pain. She was hurt. Namine was hurt.

All the world seemed to blur around Riku.

"Riku!" Kairi grabbed him by the arm, distracting him. "It's fine. She's probably hurt, yeah, but there's no way that killed her. She'll be fine."

"Riku!" Namine cried. "Riku _please _this hurts this hurts this hurts!"

She was on the ground, clutching herself, rolling in pain.

The sight of it nearly broke Riku's heart.

"Namine!"

He started to rush to her, but Kairi held him back.

His heart pounded in his ears. The world fuzzed around him. All that mattered was Namine.

"Don't listen to her!" Kairi said. She tightened her grip on Riku's wrists. "She's not hurt that badly, _trust me, _and if she is it's a good thing."

Riku snarled. How could Kairi say that? Namine was hurt—

"Riku how could you do this?" Namine sobbed. Her words were choked, distraught. "How could you do this? I thought you wouldn't hurt me _Riku please—_"

Riku tore himself from Kairi's grasp.

He went over to Namine.

Cradled her in his arms.

"Namine I'm sorry," he gasped. "I'm sorry _I'm sorry._"

He wasn't even thinking.

"Riku you _idiot _get away from her!" Kairi screamed.

Riku didn't hear her.

He just ran a hand through Namine's hair, held her close. She was bleeding.

"Kairi, please." Riku looked up. "Please she's hurt I can't do Cure to save my neck."

"Riku are you even paying attention she tried to kill—"

"KAIRI!"

There wasn't time for this chitchat. Namine was hurt. _She was hurt!_

"Do it yourself!"

Riku grit his teeth and turned away. Of course Kairi'd be this stubborn. Fine. He could Cure Namine. Really. He knew how to. Focus his energy. Wish the wounds healed. _Focus._

The energy left his body in a flood, and his head spun briefly. But then Namine buried her face in his chest. It'd worked.

"Riku thank you," she gasped, clutching at him. "Thank you so much. I thought I was gonna die. I thought I was gonna—"

"No it's alright, I've got you. I've got you." He held her tightly. Buried his face in her hair. It was okay. He had her. He had her, he had—

—a blade through his chest.

The realization hit him hard. The world solidified around him again, and then went cold. Namine'd stabbed him clean through. And it was his own damn fault.

"RIKU!" Kairi screamed.

Namine laughed. It started off as a soft giggle, but soon escalated into thrilled cackling.

Riku swore under his breath. Coughed blood.

The wound wasn't immediately fatal, but he knew he was going to bleed out sooner rather than later. He felt the same way before, when Sora'd stabbed him in the same exact place. His brain went into shock. The blood blurred his vision. Everything swam around him.

He registered Namine pulling her blade out of his chest.

He registered falling backwards, to the ground.

How could he have been such an idiot? How could he have fallen for it? She'd probably been faking, and the worst part was, in retrospect, it'd been obvious.

The sobs: forced.

The words: not hers.

It was all his fault.

His vision went black.


	235. something fancy like 'After the Battle'

There's a new chapter in ASAS! ch64 which is old news (ch133 news) but hey it was interesting

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><p>Sora wasn't sure how he knew where Riku was, but there was a tug on him that led his feet and he followed it faithfully. Soon enough he heard voices, and his run slowed to a walk. That sounded like…?<p>

"What's it matter?" A laugh. A horrible laugh filled with malice and too much glee. "Either I slit his throat now or you waste his time by not going to Cure him… your choice."

That was _Namine_.

Sora's heart was in his throat. His feet didn't want to move anymore.

"How could you _do _this?!"

Kairi.

Why was she here? But at least she was okay. …_was_ she okay?

And…

_What was wrong with Namine?_

His feet started again, and he ran—_stumbled,_ really—until he reached them.

Riku was in a puddle of blood on the ground. Kairi and Namine were circling each other—well. Not circling. Pacing back and forth, not taking their eyes off each other for very long. Kairi kept throwing glances over her shoulder back at Riku, but she didn't move, as if she were afraid Namine would attack.

…when had Namine gotten a blade?

"What's going on here?" Sora asked, his voice squeaking a little.

"OH THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE!" Kairi said. She looked over her shoulder at him, just for a moment. "_Please _tell me you can Cure Riku."

"I, uh, I can try." Sora swallowed, nervously, but went over to Riku. "Namine—?"

"Has been Rewritten," Kairi finished.

Sora gulped. His heart kept thudding in his throat. That wasn't good.

"I'm _right here,_" Namine snapped. She held herself casually, hardly bothered by Riku's near death. That was terrifying. "And it's no use—sure the wound may not have killed him instantly, but it was definitely fatal. I should know."

The tone of her voice made Sora's stomach flip-flop. Not only was she unbothered by Riku's condition, but she sounded _thrilled _by it, and—

"Sh- she did this!?" he stammered.

"YES!" Kairi growled. "Now can you Cure him or _not? _If not just let me over there and I'll—"

"No, no, I got it," Sora assured her, kneeling down next to Riku. Then he got a good look at the wound. "Well. Crap. Maybe not. The darkness is doing, uh…. _something._"

"Doing what?" Kairi asked.

"Uhm…" Sora bit his lip, trying to figure out how to describe what he was seeing. "It kinda looks like it's… trying to stop him from bleeding?"

Tendrils of Riku's dark suit were melding with his skin, as if trying to mend the wound like it would mend itself. And, even regardless of that, there was so much darkness around the wound that it looked like Cure wouldn't even do anything. Maybe a strong Curaga would do the trick, but Sora certainly couldn't doone of those_._

"WHAT!?" Namine and Kairi both shouted, in near unison. Namine looked furious.

"I- I dunno but… his dark suit thing looks like it's melding with his skin and—"

"Let me look," Mickey said, pausing to stand right by Sora.

Sora looked up at him, a little surprised. "Your Majesty!" he exclaimed, and then flushed red with embarrassment. Part of that came from the fact he'd run off on Mickey. The rest came from the realization he hadn't expected Mickey to _follow, _and in hindsight that was a little dumb of him.

Mickey smiled. "Ya didn't think I was goin' to leave you here, did ya?" he asked.

Sora flushed even redder.

Then Mickey's face hardened. "Sora! Kairi! See if you can subdue Namine," he ordered. "I'll heal Riku."

"Can you—" Sora began, but caught himself. "Sorry," he said, and scrambled to his feet. Now wasn't the time.

The fact that Mickey didn't correct him or answer the question anyway only made him feel worse. Questioning the King at a time like this? What'd he been _thinking? _Darkness or no, Mickey obviously knew what he was doing.

Mickey raised his Keyblade, and he and Riku were both bathed in a white light.

Sora turned his attention to Namine. She was running straight at him—no, at Mickey and Riku—her blade bared. Sora dove to intercept her. He only just got his blade up in time to block.

"You better _move,_" Namine hissed. The glare on her face was absolutely terrifying, and it sickened Sora to see.

"Don't count on it," Sora grunted. She was pretty strong, and her technique was firm. There was no opening for him to push her back. "That is the _King _and more importantly _my friend,_ and I'm not letting you near either of them!"

Kairi came up behind Namine and pulled her off of Sora. She growled and hissed like a feral thing, easily untangling herself from Kairi.

"Any way to fix her?" Sora asked, eyeing Namine uneasily.

"Riku didn't think so, but I'm not about to give up on her yet," Kairi answered. "Our best bet is—"

"Is taking me to Castle Oblivion I know, I know," Namine finished, sourly. "Whatever. Just let me past so I can stop that _Mouse _from—"

"No!" Sora said.

"Hmph." Namine turned up her nose. "Just let me at Riku, then, and I'll leave the Mouse alone."

"NO!" Sora and Kairi both shouted this time. Kairi's voice cracked halfway through, and she broke off into a cough. Sora sent her a worried look.

"…you okay?" he asked, well aware that now probably _wasn't _the best time to be asking.

"I think my voice just gave out," Kairi explained, hoarsely. "Not surprised. I've been doing a lot of yell—ack!" She jumped backward away from the swing of Namine's blade.

Sora went to aid Kairi, but then realized his mistake. In his distraction, Namine'd slipped past him. It was lucky that Kairi noticed before he did, because she was able to intercept Namine just before she reached Riku.

Kairi sent her back with a blast of light, and Sora pushed her even further back with a blast of Aero.

"Got any ideas on how to stop her?" Sora asked, as Namine recovered. "I really don't want to hurt her." He had his blade out, sure, but that was largely just so he could block.

"I don't think we can avoid that," Kairi croaked. She massaged her throat in annoyance, but didn't stop talking. "At best you can tackle her bare-handed—she isn't gonna get too hurt from a couple of punches."

"Good point," Sora admitted. "Uh, what do I do once I have her pinned?"

Kairi shrugged.

Sora sighed. "What I could really use are…" He trailed off in shock, as a weight fell into his left hand. The weight was followed by the sound of something jangling against the floor. Sora looked down, and, sure enough, he was holding a set of chains. His Shadow's chains, specifically.

He swallowed. "…well. Yeah. Those."

He didn't hesitate a second longer, because Namine was approaching again. There was a nudge in the back of his mind, and he let it guide him. He raised the chains, threw them at Namine—they caught her by the wrists without him even having to aim. She dropped her blade and stumbled to a halt, clearly surprised.

Sora tightened his hand around the string of chains, then banished his Keyblade so he could hold on with both hands. They were much heavier than he'd anticipated them to be, and he knew he didn't have quite the amount of callouses necessary for effectively wielding them. But, for now, at least…

"When did you learn to do that?" Kairi gaped at him, her jaw a little slack and her eyes wide.

"Uh… just now," Sora replied, sheepishly. Namine tugged against the chains, and Sora wished he had a moment to bind them around his wrist, too, so he couldn't lose hold of her as easily. He was rather surprised when they magically lengthened and wrapped around his wrist of their own accord. The binding was tight enough not to slip around too much, but not so tight as to constrict him or the flow of his blood.

"Is that a…. bad thing?" Kairi said. Her voice cracked more now that it was quieter, and she coughed uncomfortably.

Sora was silent for a long moment, mulling it over. Sure, it was a little strange, but… "I don't… I don't think so," he said. "My Shadow could summon chains just like these—in fact, I'm pretty sure these are his. So I guess it's no surprise…"

The jangling and subsequent tug of the chains made him look up. Namine was struggling against the chains. Trying to _chew _through them, in fact, which made Sora laugh a little. Even if these were normal chains, there was still no way they could be broken by teeth alone.

"Don't bother!" he called at her, and a laugh bubbled in his throat at just the sight of her gnawing at them. "You can't break 'em. The only way you're getting out is if I tell them to let you go."

At least, he figured that was how it worked. It seemed right, in his head, at least.

Kairi hardly spared a glance at Namine before returning her attention to Sora. With Namine effectively trapped (her wrists were bound together, so there was only so much she could do), Kairi didn't seemed too worried about her.

"How'd the fight with him go, anyway?" Kairi asked.

Him? Oh. Sora's Shadow.

Sora took another long moment considering that. He wanted to tell her everything. _Everything. _He didn't care that his Shadow didn't want her to know, didn't care that it was embarrassing. She was his best friend and he could trust her with anything and he wanted more than anything else right now to blurt out all of his feelings to her. How he felt about the battle. What his Shadow told him…

But now wasn't a good time. Not with Namine struggling against her restraints. Not while Riku was half-dead. Not while Mickey was here, certainly. It'd have to wait until he and Kairi were alone and had some time.

Sora took a deep breath.

"I won," he said, simply. "Absorbed what was left of him into myself—which is likely why I can summon his chains now. It's like some cool power up." He flashed a grin at her, and hoped it looked more sincere than it felt.

"Was absorbing him what you were _supposed _to do?"

"I… didn't exactly have another choice."

Kairi was silent for a second, then frowned. He hadn't fooled her.

"You okay?" she asked.

He shook his head. "We'll talk later. Now's not the time."

She didn't argue there, just turned to Mickey. "How's Riku?"

Sora turned that direction, too. The light bathing the two of them had vanished, and Mickey was kneeling next to Riku, examining him. Riku _looked _a little better—there was a little more color to his skin, at least. He'd dropped dark mode, too.

"Still unconscious," Mickey said. "But he'll live." He straightened, and smiled widely.

"The darkness?" Sora asked.

Mickey's smile faltered for a brief moment. "I did what I could," he answered, uneasily. "But. He'll live, and that's the important part." The smile returned, just not as easily.

"EXCEPT HE WON'T LIVE!" Namine screamed.

They all turned to her, first with surprise. Kairi and Sora both soon rolled their eyes, and once Mickey saw she was restrained, he relaxed.

"You're kind of chained up there!" Kairi laughed. The laugh was as hoarse as her voice, and Sora wished desperately he could get her a glass of water or something. He'd tell her to stop talking so much, but they had to worry about Namine.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!" Namine shouted, running at Riku. "I DON'T NEED MY HANDS OR MY BLADE TO KILL HIM."

Mickey stepped in front of Riku.

Kairi lunged forward.

But Namine was pulled abruptly to a halt. She'd reached the end of the chain.

Or, rather, Sora had commanded the chain to shorten so she couldn't reach Riku, and it had. Sora made his way over to Namine, the chain shortening as he went, until it was hardly a foot's length and they were forced to stand rather close to each other.

This way, though, she couldn't try anything.

Namine strained and started screaming, but Sora tried not to listen. He tried not to shout, either, when she elbowed him in the gut. Twice. He took a step away from her, the chain lengthening so that he could move. Clearly, being with in arms reach of her was a _bad _idea.

"Ya sure you can hold her, Sora?" Mickey asked.

Sora nodded. "Long enough to get to Castle Oblivion, at least."

"Alright." Mickey pulled out his star shard, then sent a hesitant look between the five of them. "I'm… I'm going to keep a hold of Riku—the last thing we need is him driftin' between worlds in that state. Uhm…"

"Would it be best if you make trips?" Kairi asked.

Sora gritted his teeth. Once they got to Castle Oblivion he was really going to have to start being serious about having her _stop talking. _She sounded horrible.

"…it might be," Mickey admitted, after a moment. He stared down at Riku, uncertainly.

"That's alright," Sora told him.

"Yeah if you think it'll be better for Riku," Kairi added.

"Yeah. Yeah I think it will be." Mickey nodded, then nodded again. He looked up at Kairi. "Kairi, ya wanna come too?"

Kairi looked over at Sora.

"I can handle Namine," he said. He smiled reassuringly. "While she's chained, anyway."

The chains tightened around his wrist—and around Namine, by the sound of her gasp—at just his passing thought of how horrible it'd be if she got away from him.

Kairi nodded, smiling slowly. "Right. Someone should probably stick around C.O. to explain what happened, anyway."

"Try and rest your voice," Sora said. "_Please._"

Kairi waved her hand in dismissal at him, turning to Mickey. "Will it be hard to transport all three of us, Your Majesty?"

"Mickey's fine," he said, absentmindedly. "And no it won't be. So long as I get Riku 'n Namine in separate trips, it'll be fine." He reached down to grab hold of Riku, then gestured for Kairi to grab his shoulder. "Ya sure you'll be okay?" he asked, sending one last look at Sora.

Sora nodded. "Uh-huh."

Mickey nodded back, convinced.

"I'll be right back."


	236. All is Well (no it's not)

Hey so there's a playlist for this chapter which you can find over on the blog. yay. kinda.

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><p><em>Sometime before Kairi and Riku returned to C.O. (exact time is hard to pinpoint in a place like Castle Oblivion)<em>

Joseph stood with his back pressed against the wall just outside 7's room, which had been turned into a sort of infirmary a long time ago. His hands clenched into fists so tightly that his fingernails dug into his skin—not that he drew blood. His fingernails were neither long enough nor sharp enough for that.

He listened closely, as 7 and 29 fussed over Toby. Joseph couldn't make out many words. He just heard them mumbling and cursing under their breaths. Clearly, things were not going well.

Joseph swallowed and wiped his eyes again. He shouldn't be here, but what else was he supposed to do? It'd been _ages_. Long enough for Vexen to return, and then Roxas. Long enough for Roxas to have his data looked at and patched up. Joseph was more than happy for Roxas, of course, but…

But what was going on with Toby?

And why hadn't anyone told him anything yet?

Joseph didn't have much to distract himself, either. He had his video games, but he couldn't focus on them. In fact, they just made him more frustrated. His friend was hurt and he was just going to sit and play video games? No. No way.

So he'd come to see how Toby was doing.

And though there was a knot in his stomach and he was crying again, he didn't regret coming.

He hadn't been there when Raymond and Patrick had… well, _died_. It hadn't been his fault he wasn't there, no. But that didn't mean he had to sit around and not find out what was going on with Toby.

Besides, he'd always been horribly impatient.

Joseph edged closer to doorway and sent a quick glance in. He didn't want to be noticed. Not quite yet.

The first thing he saw was Toby, lying on one of the cots, as if asleep. The sight brought a pained smile to his face, and the smile soon became a contorted mess of quivering lips and trying not to cry.

He took a few minutes to calm the tears enough so he remained _silent, _at least, then poked his head in one more time.

29 was standing at the computer by Toby's cot, which was the only reason Joseph hadn't been noticed yet. If 29'd been at the computer right by the doorway and on the other side of the cots—the computer 7 was at—Joseph was sure he'd have been seen, careful or not.

Joseph watched 29 for a second, trying to guess what was going on by his body language. He saw 29 wipe his eyes. He'd been crying, too, and that realization made Joseph's tears fall even harder. Then he saw the look on 29's face…

Joseph's heart seized in his chest.

He'd seen that look, just once before. When 29 had told him about the other Experiments. About all his friends. About Raymond, and Patrick, and how they were all gone.

It was a look so distraught and horrified. A look that scared Joseph so much. Seeing someone you looked up you, someone who'd cared for you as long as you could remember, seeing them look so at a loss of what to do… it was terrifying.

Joseph ducked back into the hall. He clenched his hands into fists, ground his knuckled against his temples. He wasn't going to scream. He wasn't going to cry any harder than he already was. He'd expected this. He'd expected this the moment Toby'd hit the ground, what felt like hours ago.

He was going to go into that room, he was going to make absolute certain, and he wasn't going to be a sobbing mess when he did so. He wasn't.

So Joseph pulled his hands away from his head. Flexed his fingers. Put on a brief smile, hoping it'd calm the tears a little—it didn't—and then he took a deep breath. And another. And another.

Then he stepped into the room.

7 looked up first, but then quickly turned his attention back to the computer, wincing. 29 looked up second, and about jumped with surprise.

"J-Joseph!" he exclaimed, and hastily wiped his eyes again.

Joseph didn't hesitate. He was going to start crying if he stood here a second longer, and if he was going to cry, it might as well be for a reason.

"He's dead, isn't he?"

Joseph tried not to look at Toby as he said it, and soon found he couldn't look at 29, either. It was too painful. All of this was.

To Joseph's surprise, 29 burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice trembling. He wiped at his eyes again. "We did all we could but there wasn't much we could do. I'm sorry, Joseph. _I tried._"

Joseph sniffled. Wiped his own eyes. He didn't want to cry. His face was so sore from crying. But he couldn't hold back the tears any longer. And he didn't dare try. He hurt so much and if he didn't let it out somehow he might explode. He might…

Joseph pushed the thought away, then went and wrapped his arms around 29, crying into his cloak. He wanted to feel the comfort of 29's hug. He wanted to say it was okay, but it wasn't okay. It would never be okay. None of it. Not Toby… not Raymond… not Patrick… not anyone.

He'd been devastated when 29 had told him about all the other Experiments, all those months ago. But this was worse. So much worse. He wasn't sure if his tears would ever stop. Toby had been so sudden, so unexpected, and he'd seen it with his own eyes.

_How _could have one attack caused so much damage?

How could so bright a flame be snuffed so easily?

"I'm sorry," 29 said. "Joseph I'm so sorry."

Joseph shook his head, but when he tried to say "it's not your fault" the words bubbled into sobs and were lost in his mouth.

29 dropped to his knees and pulled Joseph into a tighter hug. 29 was trembling, but Joseph couldn't blame him. They'd both lost so much.

So they cried. And cried. And then Joseph needed to blow his nose. And 29 needed to blow his. So then they sat there trying to calm their tears and blowing their noses on tissues 29 kept producing from his pocket.

And once Joseph could breathe out of his nose again, and was sure he wasn't going to burst into sobs before finishing his sentence, he turned around to look at 7:

"Was there really nothing you could do?" he asked.

7 nodded, sadly. He'd taken a seat in the chair behind the computer he was at.

"I am really sorry…" 7 said. "But short of finding his original file… and we couldn't even find that…"

"What was so bad that _resetting _him was the only thing you could do?" Joseph demanded, horrified.

"I… it's hard to explain." 7 grimaced. "It… it's like his Data's been burned. Fried. From the inside out. He's- he's not much more than a shell, now. All of the… all of the Programming and Data needed to make him, well, _alive… _it's been burnt up. And I'm sorry." 7 hung his head. "The Weapons were always a very… volatile set of experiments. The energy always seemed to be too much for them to handle."

"Yeah?"

"Power—_energy_ in its rawest form is very, _very _dangerous," 7 explained. "No being alive can take too much of it without being consumed."

"I thought that was only darkness…"

"No. Darkness is the strongest, most deadly, and the one you'll hear about the most, but all forms of power could do it in large enough amounts…" 7 trailed off, sending a look at Toby.

Joseph nodded. Sniffled. He understood. He did. It just didn't make it any less painful.

He wiped at his nose. "Oh, yeah…" Joseph turned back to 29. "Sorry… I'll- I'll try 'n smile, like- like we promise—whoa!"

29 pulled him into another hug, and held him even tighter than before.

"It's okay. For right now, it's okay. You're allowed to cry, too."

That's all it took for Joseph to start crying again.

**xXx**

_Present time_

The King, or… Mickey, had he said his name was? Kairi thought he'd said Mickey. Regardless. He'd left mere seconds after dropping her and Riku off in Castle Oblivion. Well, she _assumed _this was Castle Oblivion. It had been their destination, after all, and based on Riku's and Namine's descriptions of the place, it looked right.

Kairi shifted uncomfortably, not sure what to do now. Waiting for Mickey to return with Sora and Namine was probably the best course of action, of course. She wasn't sure where to _go _to get help, and didn't trust her voice to yell.

Not that Riku was in desperate need of medical attention or anything, but certainly when Namine got here—

"Ah, who are you?" someone called. Kairi turned to locate the owner of the voice, and found a kid who can't have been more than five years older than her, whose hair covered half his face.

She waited for him to get closer, so she wouldn't have to yell.

"Kairi," she answered. Her voice still cracked as she spoke, and she grimaced.

"Right," the kid said. "Right. Ah, introductions. Yes. I'm Alpha."

Kairi raised her eyebrows.

"Zexion Alpha, specifically," he corrected. "But just Alpha is fine."

Kairi started to ask whether or not he was a Replica, but decided against it. The chance of him _not _being one, especially with a name like that, seemed slim. She shouldn't strain her voice asking needless questions. Plus… hadn't Namine mentioned him once?

Alpha's eyes—well, Kairi assumed it was both of them, considering she could only see _one_—darted down to Riku, and he paled further, if that was possible. "What happened?" His voice almost squeaked when he spoke.

"Namine—" was all Kairi could say.

Alpha literally had to sit down on the nearest couch. It was like all the energy had been drained out of him.

"I knew it," he said. His voice was filled with dread. "I knew it was going to happen and I _warned her._"

Kairi wanted to ask a lot of questions right now. She didn't ask any of them, though. Her throat hurt, and Sora'd be pretty mad once if he found out she'd been straining her voice too much.

"So where is Namine?" Alpha asked.

Kairi started to say 'Mickey went to get her and Sora' only to second guess herself. Could she call him Mickey to a guy she didn't really know? Would Alpha know who she was referring to if she said 'the King'? Kairi wasn't sure and didn't want to risk it, so she settled on:

"Sora has her—they should be here soon."

"Is Namine conscious?—just nod or shake your head."

Obviously he'd noticed how horrible her voice sounded.

Kairi nodded.

"Right." Alpha let out a long breath. "Then we'll have to figure out where to put her—an ability proof room, definitely, but…" he trailed off.

Kairi frowned at him, trying to decide just how _old _this kid really was. He can't have been much more than five years older than her, he _can't _have been. That made him around twenty (at oldest), and that hardly seemed old enough to be in charge of decisions like this…

Alpha looked up from his thoughts. "Oh, and something will need to be done about Riku, too…" he said. He reached up to activate his comset. "7? Yes I know you're still—okay fine. I'll call Vexen." He pulled his hand away from his ear, and sighed very deeply. For a second Kairi was sure he wasn't actually going to call someone else, but then he reached for his comset again. "Riku's been hurt," was all he said.

Kairi could _hear _the man she assumed was Vexen yell on the other end.

Alpha flinched, and then turned the comset off.

That's when Mickey returned with Sora and Namine.

Kairi didn't dare ask what took them so long. Sora gave her a reassuring smile and a thumbs up, while Mickey pocketed his star shard. Namine was still grumbling and straining against the chains. Kairi took a second to put herself between Namine and Riku again.

Alpha hastily got to his feet. "Sora, if you would—"

"Where's Riku?!"

Alpha face darkened very quickly. Everyone else turned to see who the source of the voice was—Kairi figured it was Vexen. Had Riku mentioned Vexen before? Maybe Namine had…

"He's not gonna die!" Kairi called at him.

Sora sent her a glare.

She held her hands out in front of her and shrugged angrily, silently asking _what else was I supposed to do?_

Sora groaned and shook his head.

He didn't have a chance to say it, but she knew he wanted to say _you didn't need to do anything._

Alpha directed Vexen's attention to Riku. Vexen knelt down next to Riku, examining and otherwise fussing over him. Kairi pursed her lips to hold back a smile. Whoever this Vexen was, he was providing her _great _material to tease Riku with later.

"_Even!?_" Mickey asked, with surprise, his eyes fixed on Vexen.

Vexen looked up, first in annoyance, then in surprise. He quickly got to his feet, and bowed. Kairi _thought _she saw Mickey roll his eyes a little, but she hadn't been looking quite at him and wasn't certain.

"Your Majesty!" Vexen exclaimed. "I- it's- well…" He grimaced and held out his hands in front of him, signaling for them to give him a moment to gather his words. "Let me start with the most crucial bit. I am from a parallel universe and therefore do not _actually _know you. I know who you are, yes, but I've only spoken with a parallel version of you before. Also, less importantly, I go by Vexen."

"_Why_?" Mickey asked, with an urgency that surprised Kairi.

"I- it… it hasn't exactly been a personal choice," Vexen admitted. He looked down at Riku again. "So… he's been hurt, _how_ exactly?"

"I did it."

Kairi cringed at Namine's voice. She sounded _way _too smug.

Vexen looked up in horror. He stared at Namine for a good twenty seconds, his mouth working as he tried to find words, but couldn't. Finally he turned to Alpha. "Alpha—?"

"I'm. I'm working on it." Alpha seemed quite uncomfortable, and Kairi wondered what it was Vexen was meaning to ask. "Sora," Alpha said. "If you wouldn't mind bringing Namine and following me."

"Sure thing," Sora said. "But, uh, shouldn't something be done about Riku first? The least we could do is get him up off the floor, anyway. Maybe onto one of those couches? Surprised _you _didn't say anything about it, Kai—wait I told you not to use your voice never mind. Never mind."

Kairi shook her head in exasperation.

"Well, how's he been hurt?" Vexen asked, his attention back on Riku. "Or, how bad is it? I don't need to know how it happened." His attention darted to Namine for a brief moment, but then away, as if looking at her was too painful to bear.

"I've healed him up just fine," Mickey replied. "But. Well… it'll be best if ya see it for yourself…" He knelt down and pushed Riku's shirt aside—any easy task, considering how much it was torn.

Kairi strained to look. There was a patch of dark purple on Riku's abdomen, where his dark suit had attempted—and succeeded—to mend his skin so he couldn't bleed out. Namine growled audibly, and the jangling of chains suggested she'd strained against them again. All the color drained from Vexen's face when he saw Riku's chest.

"Uhm—" he stammered.

"Exactly," Mickey said.

Alpha sent a look at Vexen, eyebrow(s?) raised. "Is it supposed to do that?"

"_Well…_" Vexen just trailed off again. After a moment's consideration he decided: "I'll take him to 7—I at least want a scan of his data so I can see… why… it's… uh…" He shook his head and then waved his arm to flag someone down. "Amaryllis! I could use a hand over here."

Alpha rolled his eyes. "Right, like I said. Sora? Can you follow me with Namine? Kairi and, uh, Your Majesty—you are both free to come as well, if you wish."

Kairi nodded, and after shrugging Mickey did too. Sora tightened his grip on Namine and dragged her forward, following after Alpha. Kairi flanked in right behind Namine, just in case she started any trouble. Mickey walked slightly behind, slightly next to her.

And like that, Alpha led them off.


	237. Sanctuary

I llloooove this chapter and felt like taking the time to tell you that

+ I just finished watching a playthrough of Fire Emblem Awakening (I can't afford it siighhhhs) and wow it's a good game please invest at least your time in it

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><p>Getting Namine to the holding cell wasn't a problem. She struggled little, but protested loudly—had Sora not been throwing disapproving glances at Kairi every few seconds, he was certain the two of them would be arguing already. Had Kairi's voice not been strained, he was <em>positive <em>they would be arguing, disapproving glances or no.

Regardless.

Getting Namine restrained was a little harder, but between Sora and Kairi, they managed to force her into the lone chair at the center of the room eventually.

Kairi held Namine to the chair. Sora stood in front of the chair, fingering his—were they his?—chains nervously. (He knew for certain that the chains had _been _his Shadow's, but since his Shadow was… gone… did that mean the chains belonged to _him _now?)

"Good job," Alpha said, from the panel in the adjunct room. He nodded at them through the window separating the rooms. "Sora, can you restrain her with those chains?"

Sora licked his lips, eyes trailing over Namine and the chair. It didn't look like it would be hard to do, but…

"Yeah, but I'd have to stay in the room." He turned to look at Alpha. "And stay awake. I can do it, but if this needs to be long term…"

"Well it's a good thing we have another option, then," Alpha said. "Are her hands against the chair?"

"They are now."

"Got it."

A set of restraints popped out of the chair and clamped around Namine's wrists. Sora banished his chains, seeing as they were no longer of use.

"Can't she still summon lightning?" Kairi asked.

"Not in there." Alpha flashed a smirk at them. "The room's ability-proof."

There was a pause of silence.

Sora looked between Kairi, and then Namine, then Mickey who stood next to Alpha on the other side of the window. Neither Kairi nor Mickey seemed to know what Alpha was saying, and Namine just struggled against her new restraints.

Alpha sent a look between the them, taking a moment to realize that they didn't understand him. Then he sighed.

"It means her abilities are offline while in that room—she's powerless," he explained. "No lightning. No blade. No dark corridors."

"Well, then do we really need to restrain her?" Mickey asked, sounding very worried. "Isn't just leaving her in the room enough?"

"She can put up a pretty good fight even unarmed," Kairi answered. She reached up to touch her still-black eye.

"Is it, uh, just Namine's abilities that don't work in here?" Sora asked, turning to Alpha again. He'd gone to prepare a Cure for Kairi, only to realize that there's a chance it wouldn't work and he'd just waste energy.

"Yes," Alpha replied. "Well, and mine too, if I were to go in there." He shrugged, tapped away at the computer terminal he was at. "But it only works on Replicas. The three of you still have all your abilities in that room—unless, of course… one of you happens to be partial Replica…?"

The teasing in his voice went straight over Sora's head.

He frowned, considering the question. "Uhm… I don't… _think _any of us are."

Kairi groaned.

"It was a _joke, _Sora."

"Oh…" Sora sent a look at her, his frown deepening as he thought it over some more. Then he flushed red and rubbed the back of his neck. "_Oh! _Haha…"

Kairi buried her face in her hands out of embarrassment.

"Now, if you two are done in there… I'd like to lock this place up," Alpha said.

"Oh, right!"

Sora and Kairi both hurried out of the room.

"I suppose you need help locating the Main Room, again?" Alpha asked.

"Probably," Sora and Kairi said in near unison. They sent identical looks at each other, trying not to laugh.

"Right, then it's a good thing that's on my way…"

"Actually, I'd like to go check on Riku," Mickey said.

Alpha gave him a long look that made Sora dread he'd refuse for a second. Finally, however, Alpha nodded. "I can show you where he is."

"Thanks."

Alpha nodded, absently, and then lead them back to the Main Room—the large room with all the couches in it.

"If you two need to find Riku, he's down that hall, first right, third door on the left," Alpha explained, gesturing at the hallway.

"Got it," Sora said. He was sure he'd forget the directions the moment he needed them, and hoped Kairi would be able to remember them better.

"If you need any help, just ask someone," Alpha added. "Ask anyone. No one will mind. Oh." He flagged down one of the Vexen Replicas. "Any chance you could get Kairi here a glass of water? Or something?"

"Of course," the Vexen Replica said, and was gone.

Kairi frowned. "I coulda gotten it myself…" she grumbled.

"Yeah, and gotten lost trying to find the kitchen," Sora joked, elbowing her in the side.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." She wacked him over the head, and he flinched, but he was grinning.

Alpha and Mickey headed off.

Kairi and Sora exchanged glances, and then came to the same unspoken decision to sit down on the nearest couch together. Sora leaned back against the couch, lacing his hands behind his head. Kairi sat gripping the edge of the couch, and had to look slightly over her shoulder to look at him.

"Are you okay?" she asked, quietly.

Sora nodded.

"Sora. _Really._"

Sora sighed.

"Look, for right now, yeah," he said. "I'm a little shaken up for a lot of reasons, but I think we all are."

"Your Shadow…"

So she hadn't forgotten.

Sora shook his head. "_Later. _I wanna tell you now. I do. I do _so badly._ But, y'know, there's people and—"

"I think we can find somewhere private if we—" her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat.

"And you hardly have a voice," Sora finished, sending her a stern look. "Don't clear your throat too much, either, you know that's no good."

"Sora—"

"I want to _talk _about it Kairi," Sora interrupted. He sat up straighter with his frustration, removing his hands from behind his head. "I want to _talk, _I want to be able to say something and not have to cringe when you reply with half a voice, I want to be able to start _screaming_ and not feel bad when you have to scream too."

Kairi leaned back a little, sighing. She looked worriedly at him.

"Is it really that bad?"

"It's _horrible _Kairi," he replied. Just thinking about it made him shudder with discomfort. Thinking about his Shadow, begging to be killed. Claiming to—

"Uh… Kairi?"

The Vexen Replica had returned with Kairi's water.

Kairi took it gratefully, and after thanking the Replica, he left. She took a few sips of water, sending glances over at Sora every second or so. Sora watched her, shifting a little so he was more comfortable. She had longer hair, he realized, now that he was paying attention. It came down almost past her shoulders. And…

He flushed with embarrassment, and tossed up a Cure for her. He'd meant to do that a while ago, and gotten sidetracked.

Kairi laughed, quietly. At least now she was trying to speak softly. "I don't think that's gonna help my voice."

"No, but it should help your—is that my necklace?"

Kairi grinned wider. "Yeah, hold this a sec." She handed him her water, and then slipped his necklace off.

"Thanks," Sora said, as he took it from her and returned her water. "You been holding onto it this whole time?" he asked, so she didn't feel the need to explain herself and strain her voice any further.

She nodded.

Sora shivered a little as the metal of his necklace settled on his skin. He'd expected it to be cold, but it was actually quite warm—likely from having been around Kairi's neck for the past who knew how long.

"This is really dumb," Kairi said, looking at him. "And I'm so sorry for having to ask it but… have you lost weight?"

Sora snorted. "That is really dumb," he assured her. "Just so you're clear on that."

"Thanks." Kairi rolled her eyes.

"Probably," Sora admitted, shifting his gaze away from her. He laced his hands behind his head again. "But, it's not a surprise. I bet you have too—I mean, we've both been living real rough lately."

"True."

"I mean, be honest, when was the last time you had a good meal?"

"….yesterday," Kairi replied, sheepishly. "I was at Aerith's."

Sora nodded, cutting her off there. Then he grimaced. "Now that I think about it, I've eaten well pretty recently, too. I was staying with Mickey, so…" He sighed. That completely ruined the point he was trying to make. "Well, I was _trying _to say that you didn't eat well on the move, because I know _I _didn't. And I _certainly _didn't eat well when I was staying with Maleficent—"

"Whoa, _whoa. _Hang on," Kairi interrupted. "I was going to ask about Mickey but I _have _to ask about Maleficent—"

"She totally kidnapped me," Sora said, before she could get any ideas.

"_Kidnapped_?"

"Dragged me off against my will and destroyed my only form of transportation."

"Yeah I guess that does fit the description of 'kidnapped' pretty well—she _actually _fed you?"

"If she didn't I'd currently be dead," Sora replied. He flashed Kairi a grin, then admitted: "It wasn't anything fancy, though, and I didn't eat most of it for fear of poison."

"Enchantments would've been worse."

Sora's eyes widened as he considered that.

"Oh gosh they _would've _been that didn't even occur to me!" he exclaimed, a little panicked.

Kairi just gave him a wry look. "Sora. She's a _witch._"

"I know I'm ashamed." Sora hung his head, more out of theatrics than anything else. Kairi giggled a little, which was what he'd been hoping for. He straightened, then, and shrugged. "Oh well, at least she's dead now so if she _had _enchanted my food it, y'know. The spells would've worn off."

"That's good to know!"

They laughed a little more on it, then Kairi sighed.

"I guess a lot has happened, huh?"

Sora nodded. "We have a lot to talk about yeah," he agreed. "But maybe we should wait until your voice gets better."

"So, like, tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess."

They laughed a little about that, but not much. Sora let out a long breath. He did want to wait, yes, but _this _was something he couldn't put off any longer. _This _was something he'd been putting off for at least a month, and sitting here laughing with Kairi without having done it…

"Hey… Kairi?"

"Mm?"

"I'm sorry."

He didn't look at her, right away. He looked down at the floor, his whole body tense. It was only when she spoke did he look up.

"For what?" she asked.

She stared at him so blankly that Sora flushed red. She didn't know what he was talking about. She hadn't caught on. She hadn't been worrying about it like he'd been, then?

He cleared his throat, nervously.

"For, like… three months ago," he answered. Maybe it'd been longer than that, but he wasn't sure and didn't feel like figuring it out. Or asking Kairi.

"Wha? Oh." Realization settled on her face. "When you were being controlled by darkness."

"It wasn't all darkness…" Sora mumbled, his eyes trailing to the floor again, ashamed.

"Yeah, I bet some of it was the food Maleficent gave you—"

"_Kairi. _I'm trying to be serious."

Kairi sighed. "Well, you're sorry, aren't you?" she asked.

Sora nodded.

"Yeah."

"Then you're forgiven."

He turned to her, a little baffled. He hadn't… He hadn't expected that. Not entirely.

"_Really_?"

"…you thought I wouldn't forgive you?"

Sora shrugged, uncertainly.

Kairi gaped at him. Then laughed, but it was sharp. Pained. Disbelief. She had to look away from him for a moment.

"Sora it- it doesn't matter to me," she said. "I mean I don't mean to downplay what happened or your feelings but—but it really doesn't matter to me. Not now. Not knowing I have you back. I know you messed up, I know you did some bad things but a lot of it was the darkness and… and…"

She shook her head, mouth working as she searched for the words.

"_We're best friends, _Sora. Of _course _I forgive you. I'm? I'm honestly a little hurt that you'd think I wouldn't?"

Kairi broke off, and it wasn't because her voice had given out again. She was choking back tears. Just the sight of it made Sora tear up, too, and as he finished processing her words it only made his tears worse.

How he had he ever expected it to go any other way than this?

He threw his arms around her.

"I'm sorry," he gasped. "I'm sorry I just… I dunno." He shook his head, buried his face in her shoulder. "I dunno if it was the darkness or if I was just being negative but… I'd lost all hope. I thought you'd be furious with me. I thought—"

"Sora you'd have to mess up _a lot _worse for me to be angry with you?" Kairi replied, uncertainty in her voice. She was just as much at a loss as he was.

"I know. I should've known. I'm sorry."

Kairi shifted to wrap an arm around him. It was now he remembered she was still holding a glass of water—though, honestly, he wouldn't have minded if she'd spilled it. It would've been his fault, anyway.

"It's okay," she said. "I get it. Hope's easy to lose. I-" She broke off again, and clutched him tightly, trembling. "I spent so long having lost the hope you'd come back. I thought I'd lost you forever, and I just- I just _sat _on the shores of the Islands and I did _nothing _about it! I'd just given up and…? I don't know why, either, but I feel horrible and…"

"It's okay," Sora told her. He didn't mind. He understood. He really did.

"…Sora, I'm sorry to ruin the moment but can I set the glass of water down?" Kairi asked. "I really don't want to spill it down your back."

"Yeah sorry."

He let go of her, but the moment she'd set the glass on the ground she'd thrown her arms around him again. She trembled with tears but Sora knew he was crying too, and it was okay. They were happy tears. Kairi forgave him. He was a big idiot for ever thinking she wouldn't but. She did. And that was a good thing.

Someone cleared their throat loudly from behind them.

Sora and Kairi pulled away from each other, each flushing a little red with embarrassment and frantically wiping their eyes. Kairi eyes narrowed a little—more out of confusion than anger, it seemed—when she saw who'd interrupted them. Sora turned so he could see who it was, too, and found Roxas.

Roxas was leaning against an elbow on the back of the couch, drumming his fingers against its side.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked. He didn't look or sound very sorry, though. "Sorry, I just wanted to know if we were still on for that beach date? If not I totally understand." He sent a glance at Sora, which only confused Sora. Since when had he and Roxas planned a _beach date?_

Kairi groaned. "It's not technicallya beach _date_," she said, rolling her eyes. "We were just going to hang out together, and we decided the beach because he hasn't been."

It took Sora a moment to realize she was talking to _him, _and not Roxas. Once he realized that, things got significantly less confusing.

"Actually I have been," Roxas countered, before Sora could say anything. "Just always on business. I've never been able to go and do, like… _beach things. _Me 'n Xion kept _meaning_ to go, but… things kept getting in the way."

Sora decided not to ask about Xion right now. There were more important things at hand.

More important things, like, teasing Kairi.

"Y'know, Kai, if it _is _a date you don't need to be so worried about it," Sora told her. He was mainly joking—not that he wouldbe upset if it was an actual date. "Roxas seems like a nice guy and—"

"It's not a date!" Kairi protested. Her voice squeaked a little, and Sora broke into a grin at the sound of it, regardless of how _hoarse _of a squeak it was. He'd missed hearing Kairi squeak in embarrassment.

"Regardless of what it _technically _is, are we still gonna do it?" Roxas said. He'd dropped his teasing tone.

"Yeah, sure, we can," Kairi replied. "Uhm? I think I'm going to be busy tomorrow, catching up on sleep and all, but maybe the day after? So long as you don't mind Sora there. Though… I'm not going to give you much choice on that."

Sora rolled his eyes. "Really, if you two _want _to be alone—"

"I SAID I'M NOT GIVING HIM MUCH CHOICE."

Sora and Roxas exchanged a shared smile at Kairi's distress, then Roxas said goodbye for now and was gone.

"We staying until Namine's better, right?" Kairi asked as she reached down to pick up her glass of water.

"Uh-huh."

"Just checkin'."

"…you wanna go check on Riku?" Sora said.

Kairi shrugged. "Guess we got nuttin' better to do, huh?"

"Exactly."


	238. Teeming Darkness

Happy 4th Anniversary guys-yep, FtPverse as a series has been going for four years now. Whoohoo.

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><p>"…I suppose that did come back to bite me," Vexen grumbled, his eyes flickering over Riku's data again. He stood at the computer near the door—the one closest to the cot they'd put Riku on. 7 was at the other computer (the one next to the cot Toby was on), and Vexen <em>thought <em>he was also looking at Riku's data, but wasn't sure.

7 looked up at him, then, his brow furrowed with worry.

"What did you _do?_" 7 asked. He sounded like he dreaded the answer.

"I, uh…" Vexen coughed. He felt quite awkward now that he had to explain it. Especially that he had to explain it to someone who knew the _dangers _of— "I may have… built him… without a lot of the darkness protection protocols I would normally give a Replica." The last set of words came out in a blur, as if speaking them quickly would prevent 7 from understanding them.

(It wouldn't.)

"You did _what?!_" 7 gaped for a moment. Then he started yelling. "Even in this universe we know better! Darkness is one of the most _deadly _things for a Replica—it is the most vicious and most likely to attempt to change our data, which, may I remind you, _does not _like being changed. And having it be tampered with by external forces such as—"

Vexen cut him off. "I know! I know." He sighed. "I just wasn't sure if he'd be able to properly _utilize _the darkness to its full potential if he had shields to protect his data from it. I assumed it'd hamper his control over it? I'm not sure why, but I didn't think it'd be…" He broke off, his heart sinking.

He distinctly remembered having thought that, yes, it could be dangerous. He also distinctly remembered _not caring._

He knew he hadn't cared because he'd lacked a heart at the time, but that hardly comforted him.

"How could you have been so _stupid?_" 7 demanded.

Vexen jumped a little, startled by the accusation.

"I- I wasn't thinking?" he stammered. "He was a rushed job—I thought I need to act quickly to… well…" He decided not to mention that he'd intended to use Riku to stop Larxene and Marluxia, all that time ago. He shook his head and continued: "Honestly, at the time, I thought it wouldn't make a huge difference."

7 didn't look much happier, but he also didn't start yelling again. That was good.

"Besides… he's fine, really!" Vexen said quickly, to distract the topic from his… past deeds. He gestured to the computer screen he was at, not that 7 was close enough to see. "His darkness levels are higher than normal, yes, but he can withstand these levels. I'm sure of that, at least."

"But he doesn't have _any _darkness protection?" 7 asked, to be clear.

Vexen fumed a little. He'd hope to get out of answering that question.

"Well, no, but—"

"Vexen! Toby literally just _died _because he had too much power rushing through him," 7 interrupted. He drummed his fingers impatiently against the desk. "You really expect me to not worry about Riku? Especially when the darkness is _so much _more deadly…"

"He's not compatible with this program, 7," Vexen reminded him. "There's nothing we can do, even if we wanted to."

"You'll have to do something about him being incompatible eventually…" 7's eyes darted over Riku, still asleep, then he returned his attention to his computer. "What if something goes _seriously _wrong with his data, hmm? What will you do then?"

Vexen swallowed. He'd been wondering that himself. "I'll figure something out," he assured 7. "But, for right now, there's nothing we can do. Of- of course..." He forced a small laugh, to lighten the mood. "It's not like it matters right now, seeing as Riku's not in any immediate danger."

"But he _is _in danger?"

The forced smile fell from Vexen's lips. He didn't reply.

After a second more of clicking aimlessly at the computer, Vexen turned his attention to Riku once again. It was funny, how serene he could look when he was unconscious. Vexen'd never seen the boy look so calm in his entire life. Vexen's attention trailed down, away from Riku's face and to his abdomen, over the spot of black which had patched his skin.

It was so odd. Vexen had never heard of the darkness doing anything like this before, but that certainly confirmed one thing: the darkness in Riku was quite alive, and likely quite deadly. Somehow it had grown past the initial strength it'd been programmed to be… but how?

Vexen's thoughts were derailed as King Mickey stepped into the room.

"How's Riku doin'?" King Mickey asked, glancing between 7 and Vexen, as if he wasn't sure which he should be asking the question. Vexen couldn't blame him.

Vexen was honestly a little surprised the King _cared _to ask about Riku, however—or he was surprised until he thought about it a second longer. King Mickey was the one who'd healed Riku, along with the one who'd dragged all four of the kids back to Castle Oblivion. And Vexen'd always known the King to be a compassionate man, er, _mouse, _so it really was only logical and expected for him to come to check up on Riku.

Vexen sent one last look at the boy, and then turned his attention to the King.

"Riku is alright," he said. "The darkness, well…" He sent a nervous glance at Riku again, eyes still lingering on the spot of black. How to explain to King Mickey, without making himself feel like more of a fool? "…it was a flaw of his Programming—a flaw in the way I'd built him," Vexen settled on, finally.

"Can't you fix him up?" King Mickey pressed. His eyes narrowed slightly with confusion.

"Not here," Vexen replied. "He's- he's not from this universe, either, and there's nothing I can do about him with the computers that are here."

"You were able to pull up his data to observe it," 7 corrected.

Vexen shot him a dirty glance. "But I cannot edit it, and you know that," he said, slowly, trying not to sound too angry. It would be bad form, and in front of the King…

"Who's that?" King Mickey asked, a little suddenly.

Vexen was a little confused, at first, but then he saw where the King's attention had fallen. It'd fallen right on Toby.

There was a clench in Vexen's gut.

"That's Toby," 7 said, his voice quiet.

King Mickey sent a brief look at 7, then his attention was back on Toby. He took a few steps closer to Toby's cot. "Is he alright?"

7 opened his mouth to speak, but the words cracked on his tongue. He closed his mouth again and shook his head. Vexen swallowed. King Mickey tensed quite noticeably. Obviously the lack of an answer had been enough.

"What happened to him?" The King's voice was much more somber when he spoke this time.

"It- it was… a spell misfire," 7 said. It was a simplification, but Vexen didn't really blame him for it.

King Mickey hung his head.

"So he's…"

But even he couldn't finish the sentence.

7 nodded. "Y-yes."

King Mickey had to turn away. After a moment or two of silence, he turned to Vexen. He looked incredibly disheartened, and though his voice didn't crack, it wasn't as chipper as normal.

"I… I hafta ask… was that… Ienzo? Who led me here? I mean, he's obviously a Replica but—"

Vexen nodded. He hadn't _seen _anyone lead the King here, but obviously Alpha had. "Yes," he said. "He's a Replica of Ze—Ienzo." He caught himself at the last second. While it was true Alpha was a _Zexion _Replica, there was no telling whether or not King Mickey would understand that Zexion and Ienzo were one in the same person. _Theoretically_, he should, but… better safe than sorry.

"Where is Ienzo?" King Mickey asked.

Vexen shrugged, slowly. "I can really only speak for my Ienzo, which is in the other universe…" He sent a look over at 7. "But… here… Zexion was?"

"He's dead now," 7 said.

"I figured."

Everyone else in the Organization was dead, after all. And he would've _seen _Zexion had he not been dead. Most likely.

"Shoulda known," King Mickey mumbled. He sighed deeply. "He was in the Organization, after all, wasn't he?"

The heartbreak on the King's face was unbearable.

"Well, don't worry, he'll be back," Vexen told him, quickly. He was just hoping to reassure the King, but he realized his mistake when the King's eyes narrowed with confusion.

"Whaddya mean, 'he's coming back'?" the King asked.

"Yes, Vexen," 7 said, firmly. "What do you _mean, _'he's coming back'?"

"Ah…" Vexen cleared his throat. He hadn't even considered having to _explain _this. It wasn't like he assumed they knew, he just hadn't thought this over.. "Well. When a Heartless and Nobody are defeated, in that order—Heartless first, Nobody second—it about guarantees the return of the original somebody that they used to be."

King Mickey stared up at Vexen, his whole body tense with disbelief or anger at the news. "Is that true?" he asked.

"If it were not, I would not be standing here before you," Vexen answered.

The King's hands clenched into fists, and he looked towards the ground. "All that work… for nothing…"

Vexen paled. It was just now that the implications of this settled in his mind. If this universe's Zexion would likely be back, then the rest of the Organization here would likely be back, too. Including…

"Ah, Xemnas is dead, then?" he asked.

King Mickey nodded slowly.

Vexen felt himself start shivering, and he clutched at the computer desk to steady himself. "Ah. That- that would mean… that Xehanort is… is coming back." His throat was awfully dry.

If Xemnas had wanted him, there was no denying Xehanort would want him, too.

King Mickey's whole body clenched with anger. Had Vexen not known the mouse better, he would've feared his outburst. But King Mickey was not someone who was prone to such outbursts.

Even so…

"I am not happy about this realization, either, Your Majesty," Vexen said. "It didn't even occur to me until—"

"It's fine," King Mickey interrupted, sharply. He started pacing, and over all looked incredibly twitchy and jumpy. "It's fine," he repeated. "Xehanort'll come back and we'll finish him off for good." He paused. Sent an uneasy glance up at Vexen. "It will be for good, won't it?"

"I am quite certain of that, Your Majesty," Vexen said. He nodded eagerly, happy to please with this question. Then again… this was Xehanort… "Well… he shouldn't have any means to come back after this, as far as I'm _aware _of, anyway," Vexen corrected. "But there is no telling what that man may have plotted."

King Mickey tapped his toes impatiently against the ground, but nodded to show he'd heard. "I need to go," he said, rather quickly.

"Go where, Your Majesty?"

Vexen looked up. It was Sora who'd spoken—no mistaking that voice. Kairi was with him.

"I need to talk to Yen Sid," the King told Sora. "_Again,_" he added, almost as if it were an afterthought. Perhaps… an afterthought they weren't supposed to have heard. King Mickey seemed awfully antsy, after all.

Vexen grimaced a little, considering it was _his _fault the King was so unsettled. But, then again, what else would he have done? _Not _told him about Xehanort?

"What about?" Sora asked. Clearly, he hadn't heard the bit about Xehanort. Was that a good thing?

"Uh…" King Mickey began.

He sent a look over at Vexen, then gave a quick shake of his head. Vexen frowned, trying to decipher what that'd meant.

"Nothing to worry about right- right now," King Mickey said, returning his attention to Sora. There was a reassuring smile on his face—well faked. "I'll let you know if anything's up, but I hafta talk to Yen Sid first. To be sure." His eyes narrowed, then as he studied Sora. "Do you have a way home…?" he asked.

"Yeah I'll find something," Sora replied.

"Alright. Good. See ya."

The King slipped out into the hallway, activated his star shard, and was gone. Vexen sent a worried glance out after him, and Sora and Kairi both did too. Sora shrugged after a moment, clearly not worried, but Vexen…

Vexen couldn't help but wonder why King Mickey didn't want to tell Sora about Xehanort. That would've been a good idea, wouldn't have it? Sora needed to know _eventually, _so why not now? And had the King signaled for him to… _not _tell Sora?

_And why does he need to speak to Yen Sid? _Vexen pondered. _Does he really distrust me that—never mind. I suppose I am not an easy person to—_

"Where's Namine!?"

Vexen jumped a little, startled.

Riku'd woken up.


	239. Bond that Can't be Broken

Happy AkuRokuShi day! 8/13/14 - at least it's still 8/13/14 in my timezone... for another two hours...

Anyway, if you want some Days Trio feels, head over to the blog I guess? The chapter (and even most of the blog) actually has a lot of SoRiKai feels, funnily enough. I'd wait to post this chapter, but then again, when else am I gonna get a change to post on AkuRokuShi day? Never.

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><p>Riku woke up quite suddenly, his brain snapping awake as if a light switch had been flipped. He wasn't in nearly as much pain as he thought he should be, but more importantly:<p>

"Where's Namine!?" he demanded, sitting up straight. Terror washed over him in a flood. He hadn't seen her go down. He hadn't seen what'd happened. Had they needed to- to kill her? His heart clenched at the thought. Now that he was thinking a little more clearly…

"Relax," Sora called. When'd he gotten here? Oh well. "She's restrained right now while Alpha—or I think it's Alpha—is looking to see if he can fix her."

"It is Alpha," Vexen said.

Riku took a quick look at his surroundings. He was in 7's room, and Vexen was standing at the computer next to the cot he was in. Toby was in the cot next to him, seemingly asleep, and 7 by that computer. Kairi was leaning against the wall across from him, sipping a glass of water, and Sora was just standing there, shifting every few seconds so he was near constantly moving in some way or another.

"What happened?" Riku asked. "After I- after-" He squeezed his eyes shut. "Oh _gosh _I'm an idiot," he groaned, and he buried his face in his hands. "I am such an idiot."

"Y'_think?_" Kairi laughed. Her voice sounded really hoarse.

"In- In my defense," Riku said, looking up again. "That- that was really emotionally manipulative and. And I should've seen it coming…" He sighed and rubbed his head.

"Dare I ask?" Vexen said.

"It was like listening to Larxene's voice come out of Namine's mouth," Riku explained, and that's all he needed to say to Vexen. Vexen understood, at least, how horrible Larxene was. Kairi didn't.

And as much as Riku wanted to wrap his hands around Larxene's neck—to make her pay for all she'd put him through… It made him sick to think he'd actually _considered _doing anything like that to Namine.

He hung his head again, rubbing at his face. After a second he paused, noticing something. He wasn't wearing a shirt, for starters, but even more worrying, there was also a patch of… dark purple on his gut. It _looked _like… _felt _like the material that made up his dark suit.

"Uhm. Why- why is that…?" he began, but fumbled for the exact question he wanted to be asking.

"It melded with your skin to keep you from bleeding out," 7 explained.

"Okay. Cool. But… _why the hell?_"

Vexen coughed awkwardly.

Of course.

Of course this would be Vexen's doing.

"What did you _do?_" Riku asked, turning to glare at Vexen. "Also, I'd like my shirt back." Thankfully, it was on the floor next to his cot, so there was no problem finding it.

"It's too torn to do you any good," 7 warned.

"Also looks a little small for you," Sora added.

Riku said nothing. Both of them were right, of course, but what else was he supposed to do? Walk around without a shirt? He didn't like the idea much, _especially _not when there was a patch of his skin that was _purple._

"Vexen," Riku said, sternly. "You haven't answered my question."

"Well- well, you see, you have to understand that—"

"_Vexen!_ Stop stuttering and tell me _what the hell _you did to my data."

Vexen swallowed nervously. "I- I may have… not programmed you… with the normal darkness protection protocols," he said.

Riku blinked a few times. He knew what that meant, and knew he should _probably _be worried, but he couldn't find it in him to be so. Being able to use the darkness to this extent was a good thing. It was _great. _Or, he thought it was, anyway.

"Isn't darkness not supposed to affect Replicas at all?" Sora asked. "I thought Riku mentioned…"

"Normally," Vexen said. "But that's when they have the darkness protection protocols installed. I- I thought that those protocols might _hamper _Riku's ability to_, _you know, _utilize _the darkness so I. I didn't install them."

"I don't think I mind so much," Riku said.

Everyone turned to look at him, seeming quite surprised. Well, Vexen and 7 looked quite surprised. Sora and Kairi just looked vaguely confused.

"What do you mean you _don't mind?_" 7 demanded. He looked really tense. "Don't you know what those protocols are supposed to do, and what it means for you if you _don't _have them?"

Riku shrugged. "Well if they're going to hamper my ability to use darkness…"

"I said they _might,_" Vexen corrected. "There's nothing definite about it. And, actually, it wasn't really smart of me in hindsight—"

"Wait, sorry," Sora interrupted. "But me 'n Kairi aren't on the same page as the rest of you. What's the darkness gonna do to him?"

"Kill him," 7 responded. There was a fierceness in his tone. Riku just rolled his eyes.

"What!" Kairi gasped.

"_Really?_" Sora frowned.

"There's a reason why the protocols are installed to begin with," 7 said.

"That's a worst case scenario, 7, and you know it." Vexen sounded a little miffed, but not nearly as annoyed as 7 sounded. "Honestly, if his darkness levels weren't as high as they are now, I wouldn't be worried about it."

"Can you fix it?" Sora asked. "I mean, just install the darkness protection whatevers?"

Riku shook his head. "I'm not compatible with the program here," he said. "So no they can't." He shifted his weight so he was leaning back a little more, his arms supporting him from behind. "Not that I'm in any immediate danger, right?" He sent a casual look up at Vexen.

"No…" Vexen admitted, shifting a little, as if uncomfortable. "But _eventually_…"

"We'll worry about it when it becomes a problem, yeah?"

And it shouldn't be a problem for a month or so. He'd better use the power while he had it, then. He'd _like _to keep it, but he supposed he'd really rather not _die, _either.

"We'll worry about it when I've finished translating your data into their code and can _fix _the problem," Vexen corrected, sternly.

Riku couldn't help himself. He laughed.

"And how long's _that _gonna take?"

"…a few months."

Even better.

"What about the other universe?" Sora asked.

Riku's smile fell. His heart seemed to pound in his ears. Just the _thought _of going to the Other Castle Oblivion. The thought of stepping into one of the memory pods or nearing one of those computers… His breaths came in gasps. He dug his fingernails into his palms.

He saw Vexen throw a worried glance at him, and feared he'd say something. Riku ground his teeth together. That's the last thing he wanted.

But instead Vexen just said:

"While that would work, yes, I'm not too keen on the idea unless it's an absolute necessity. I personally would rather not return to that Castle Oblivion. Besides, it's not a permanent solution—we may not be able to simply hop over to that universe when something's wrong forever. Better be prepared."

Riku felt his breathing calm. His heart didn't seem to be pounding as loud. He didn't have to go back. No one was going to make him.

"Sorry to interrupt," Kairi said. "But is Toby okay?"

She'd moved closer to his cot, and was currently kneeling down next to it.

Vexen shifted uncomfortably at the question. 7 looked like his heart had stopped. Their silence weighed in the room for quite some time, until 7 finally found it in him to speak.

"No," he said. "He's- he's… dead."

The glass fell from Kairi's hands. It wasn't a far enough fall to break, but what water was left in it spilled. Sora sat rather abruptly on the ground. Riku's stomach clenched a little. He hadn't necessarily been fond of the boy, but…

"I don't know if any of you were there when he let loose that attack…" 7 began.

"I was," Kairi answered. Her voice was small, and her eyes fixed on a spot on the ground in front of her.

"It was too much for his data to handle," 7 continued, his voice much softer now. "It fried him completely. And if _something _isn't done about the darkness in Riku's data eventually, there's a high chance he could suffer the same fate."

Riku opened his mouth to reply with something snarky, but his throat was too dry to articulate any sounds.

"I'll get started on translating his code as soon as possible," Vexen said, evenly. "Here." He handed Kairi a towel. She took it with shaking hands, but Sora grabbed it from her and pushed her gently aside before she could do anything with it.

"Does- does Joseph know?" Riku asked, finally. Just thinking about how devastated Joseph was—or would be—made his stomach clench even harder.

"He does." Even 7's voice seemed tighter as he spoke. "We- we best not tell him about Namine, actually. Not right now. We don't need to upset him further."

Everyone mumbled a unanimous agreement in response to that.

7 sighed deeply. "Anyway, there's nothing more I can do here. I'll go see how Namine's doing."

He left.

Sora and Kairi started speaking in hushed tones. Riku considered them for a second, then decided not to interrupt. He turned his attention to Vexen.

"So, out of curiosity… have you got any plans to go _back _to the other universe, eventually?" he asked. He tried to sound casual, but his voice cracked at least once, and his eyes kept flickering over to Sora and Kairi, or to Toby.

Vexen tensed.

"Why do you ask?" he replied, slowly. His eyes narrowed at Riku.

Riku shrugged. "Like I said, just curious."

"Well I have to get your data sorted first, and then…" Vexen trailed off.

"And then?"

"I don't know," Vexen admitted.

Riku raised his eyebrows. "You don't know?"

"Well… I'm not exactly sure if I'm _wanted _back over there—"

"You're not exactly wanted over here," Riku interrupted.

Vexen shut his mouth, but that was all he did. He didn't protest.

"That was a little rude!" Sora called.

"And?"

"I think _I'd _be a little kinder to someone who was fixing my data," Kairi said.

"It's alright," Vexen sighed. "You don't have to defend me. Besides, it's not like I'm not used to Riku being…"

"Honest?" Riku finished.

"Actually, I was going to say _rude._"

Kairi snorted. Sora looked like he wanted to laugh but was also trying to be polite and _not _laugh. Riku just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Well, if you do stay, it's up to you," he told Vexen. "I wouldn't miss you if you left, but I can't exactly _make _you leave, either. _Well…_" He paused, reconsidering. "I suppose I _could _shove you through a dark corridor…" he mused.

"That's comforting," Vexen said, dryly.

Riku shrugged in a sort of _what-are-you-gonna-do? _manner.

"Well," Vexen logged off his computer and stepped away from it. "I could start working on translating your code now, but I think seeing about Namine is a slightly more pressing issue. And, anyway, you three look like you have a lot of, uh, catching up to do."

"Good riddance to you t—_hey!" _Riku's casual amusement fell into a glare as he watched Vexen go. "_Hey! _Wipe that smirk off your face!" he called, but it was no use. Vexen was gone. He growled with annoyance, and turned to Sora and Kairi. "What was _he _smirking about?"

"Probably just happy you have some friends or something," Kairi said, plopping herself down on the end of Riku's cot. Sora sat down on the floor at the end of it, but considering the cot was basically on the ground, it hardly made it awkward to see him.

"Why would he care?" Riku scoffed.

"I dunno," Kairi shrugged. She still sounded pretty hoarse, but she was smirking something awful. "But I wanna know who he is."

"What do you mean?" Riku narrowed his eyes at her, not quite following. "He's just Vexen!"

Kairi raised her eyebrows and sent a look at Sora, who mimicked her expression. Riku's glare returned.

"Why are you two smirking? Stop giving me that _look,_ Kairi!"

"Just sayin' he seems to care a lot about you."

"_And?"_

"So who _is _he?" Kairi demanded.

Riku threw his hands out in the air next to him, still not quite understanding why she seemed to think there was something more than he was telling her. "He's just the guy who created me. Nothing more."

"Uhh _huuuuh,_" Kairi said, but she didn't sound quite convinced.

"Stop _giving _me that look! I mean it!"

"I mean, I _guess _that explains him worrying about you," Sora added, but he sounded as unconvinced as Kairi did. "But… I dunno, Kairi… that didn't seem all sinister-heartless-'I'm worried about my creation' sorta thing you'd expect, y'know?"

"No, it didn't seem like that at all," Kairi agreed.

"What? Are you two insinuating he's, like, my _father _or something? Because he is _not—_"

"It's not like you have to be _biologically _related to him or anything," Kairi said.

"He's _not _my father!"

Sora and Kairi just grinned at each other and high-fived. Riku fumed.

"What do you two care about my personal life?" he asked.

"I dunno if I'd call this your _personal life,_" Sora said, snorting a little.

"We're your best friends, Reeks," Kairi explained. She looked like she was holding back a smile. "It's our _jobs _to be in your—"

"Pff!" Sora's laughter cut her off. "I'm sorry I tried to wait but… _Reeks?_"

"Roxas called him it."

"I didn't agree to that nickname!" Riku protested.

Kairi and Sora just kept laughing.

Riku folded his arms across his chest.

"Well I see you two made up just fine," he mumbled. Part of it was to get back at them, _somehow, _but largely it was just out of bitterness for his current situation.

"Like we wouldn't?" Kairi asked. Her voice cracked a little, but Riku couldn't quite tell if it was due to her sore throat or some other reason.

"Sora seemed kind of worried," Riku replied.

"Yeah and I was _really _dumb for it I get that!" Sora snapped, and there was definitely an edge in _his _voice.

"Well, gee, no need to be so offended," Riku said, fighting to keep a straight face. "I mean it's not like it's a secret you have a huge crush on Kairi or anything." Riku and Kairi locked eyes, and Kairi broke into a small grin.

"I do not!" Sora protested.

"Gosh, Sora, that is literally like the worst thing to say, y'know," Kairi said, continuing with the ploy. "Especially if I secretly had a crush on you or something and was just _waiting _to tell you…"

Sora paled instantly, and it was much harder for Riku to keep the grin off his face.

"I- I mean," Sora stammered. "I mean it's not that I don't like you Kairi I'm just not sure if—_Hey!_"

Kairi hadn't been able to keep herself from giggling. The jig was up.

Sora's face darkened drastically. "Well it doesn't matter if I have a crush on her or not because _she's _dating Roxas," he told Riku.

That stopped Kairi's giggling.

"I am not!"

Riku laughed, now. "Roxas, huh? I think you could do better."

"We're not dating!"

"Yeah so what's that beach date about, then?" Sora asked.

"ONE DATE DOES NOT MEAN WE'RE TOGETHER!"

"Aha! So it _is _a date!"

Kairi buried her face in her hands.


	240. Hopeless

Sora, Riku, and Kairi all sat and chatted and laughed for a while. They talked about various inconsequential things, and spent a little time catching up, like Vexen had predicted they'd do. They didn't talk about Namine. The unspoken thought of her hung between the three of them like a cloud. None of them wanted to bring it up. None of them wanted to think about the position she was in right now—not when they were all quite certain she'd eventually get better.

Then there was a knock on the door.

Kairi hadn't been looking to see if Vexen—who'd knocked—had knocked on the open door or on the doorframe, but there he was standing, with Alpha slightly behind him. Alpha had a somber expression that Kairi couldn't quite read past. Vexen looked distressed. Kairi felt her stomach bunch up at the sight.

"I hate to interrupt…" Vexen began, casting a nervous glance between the three of them.

"Is something wrong?" Riku asked. He didn't _sound _worried, but his face was all scrunched up.

Vexen looked away. Riku tensed quite visibly.

"I'm… not so sure if we can fix Namine," Alpha explained, slowly. "37 took extra care when Rewriting her to include protocols that would make it near impossible to undo the damage."

Kairi's breath caught in her lungs. Her blood churned.

"And there's nothing you can do about it?" Sora asked, reaching over to squeeze Kairi's shoulder.

Kairi was grateful for it—it grounded her, a little. Reminded her that it wasn't just her who the news upset, it was all of them. Sora was upset, too, but hiding it well for the moment, and Riku…

Riku'd hung his head, and Kairi didn't want to think too hard about the expression she could still slightly see on his face.

"There's nothing we can do short of a full Rewrite," Alpha replied. "And without her file to reference… I can remove the protocols telling her to kill Riku. That is all I can do. It doesn't look like there's a way to salvage her personality."

Riku cried out, and then turned and drove his fist into the wall. There was a sharp cracking sound. At first, Kairi feared it was the wall, but when Riku pulled his hand away she noted it didn't even have a dent. Obviously Riku'd broken bones.

"Whoa there Riku!" Sora exclaimed. He quickly tossed up a Cure—or maybe it was Cura—for Riku, but there was no telling how much good that did.

Vexen looked startled, and a little surprised. He'd taken a step forward, and stood there uncertainly, like he was going to comfort Riku, only to second guess himself mid-step. Kairi didn't blame him, knowing Riku. He wasn't a fun person to deal with when injured. He never had been.

"I'm fine," Riku snapped. He pulled his hand away from the wall, cradled it to his chest, lowered his head. "I expected…" He paused, looked up, eyes gleaming. "What… what about my memories?" he asked, looking up at Alpha. "Can they fix her?"

"They were deleted from the database," Alpha said, by way of response.

Riku nodded and hung his head again.

"Do we want to reupload them?" His voice quiet and strained as he spoke.

"You can't make _me _touch them with a ten foot pole," Alpha answered. "But if Vexen wanted to do it…"

Kairi's hands clenched into fists. His smug and matter-of-fact attitude made her want to punch him in the face. Was he always like this? Had Riku ever punched him before? That was a fun thought to consider… _but _how could he be so _casual _about the situation Namine was in? It was just plain rude!

"…chance that his memories may not even auto-translate into the proper code," Vexen was saying, when Kairi started paying attention again. "Since Riku's data _itself _didn't…"

"Master Vexen must've translated them himself, then. The first time," Alpha said.

"That _might _explain why Riku's memories were so unstable," Vexen mused. "Translating code is tricky business, and to translate so many memories in such a short amount of—"

"Is Namine _really _a lost cause!?" Kairi blurted.

She was tired of this talk about memories. She was tired of all the pointless chitchat. Could Namine be fixed or not? And if it was possible—even the _slightest _glimmer of chance—then why weren't they all trying to do something about it?

"Kairi, whatever," Riku mumbled. "Never mind. It wouldn't—"

"How many times do I have to tell you that she's _my friend too?" _Kairi interrupted, shooting a glare at Riku. Maybe she'd punch _him _in the face, instead. "I don't care if you've given up on her, there's gotta be a way!"

"Is there a way?" Sora looked up at Alpha and Vexen.

Vexen shifted a little. "Short of Rewriting her from scratch, which is very, very, _very _risky business… no…" He cleared his throat, nervously. "And even then, it could take me a _year _to translate all of Riku's memories into the code this universe uses… not to mention we still have to crack 37's failsafes…"

"And at that point, it's not really worth it." Alpha folded his arms over his chest and shrugged.

Sora had to restrain Kairi, this time. Otherwise she would've punched Alpha square in the jaw. That was _too far._

"Kairi, no! You _cannot _punch him," Sora hissed, in her ear. Kairi stopped struggling. Sora was right. It stunk, but he was right.

"…I think 37's still alive," Riku said, quietly. His voice was deadpan, though, not a single shred of hope in it.

"Can he tell us how to crack the failsafes?" Kairi asked. Seeing as she was calmer now, Sora let go of her.

"He'd sooner die than do that!" Alpha laughed.

Kairi sent a glare at him.

"That's fine," Riku said. He sounded surprisingly calm, and the darkness around him was building. Kairi could feel it. It wasn't quite visible, but it was flowing around him, concentrating itself to be channeled through his body. It sent shivers down Kairi's spine. The hunger in his tone when he continued only made it worse.

"I don't think I mind killing him anyway."

Kairi turned away. Clenched her teeth. Bit back tears.

"You're really all giving up on her?" she asked. Her voice caught in her throat.

She scanned each of their faces, but that only made her feel worse. Vexen's face was scrunched with distress, and he kept wringing his hands together. Alpha had that same passive—almost smug—look on his face. Of course he didn't care. Sora looked worried, but he also wasn't speaking up in protest with her. And Riku…

"Kairi," he said. The darkness vanished from him very abruptly. "You can't exactly go back from being Rewritten."

The look on his face was horrible. There was no hope in his eyes. It was the same look he'd gotten earlier, when they were fighting Namine. The same look he'd had when he'd asked her to kill Namine.

And it was now that Kairi realized…

…he'd given up a long time ago.

Kairi got up and ran, tears streaming from her eyes. She shoved past Alpha to get into the hall, and only stopped running when Sora caught her by the arm.

"Kairi, hold on," he said.

"We can't just _give up _on her!" Kairi shouted. It hurt her throat, but she didn't care. She'd scream until she had no voice if she had to, as long as it meant getting Namine back. "I don't care if she's not who she used to be! She's still Namine! And yes! She was _horrible _but- but we're her friends we _can't give up on her._"

"Kairi, I think—"

"She's still in there!"

"Kairi, that's _enough,_" Sora said, firmly, grabbing her by the shoulders.

Kairi clenched her jaw, and wrenched herself away from Sora. "So you're giving up too?" she demanded, fingers curling into fists.

"No, I just think they know more about this than we do," Sora replied. His own voice rose.

"But she's still _in there!_" Kairi yelled. Why wouldn't anyone understand that? Why wouldn't—

"Is she?" Sora asked.

Kairi nodded, fervently. "When you were taken by the darkness—"

"Darkness is something _completely different!_" Sora snapped. "That was something _controlling _me—she's been Rewritten _entirely_. Everything about her. That's how Replicas are."

"No. _No!_" Kairi scrambled away from Sora, shaking her head and wiping her eyes so she could at least _see. _It hurt a little to touch her left eye. It hadn't healed up all the way, yet—and that just brought bitter thoughts. Namine'd given her the black eye. Namine'd—

_No._

"Namine's still in there, somewhere. I know she is. She's not lost! I _refuse _to believe she's lost!"

"Kairi—"

"D- don't you _believe _me?" she asked Sora, desperately.

He didn't say anything for a long while. He just stood there, looking like he wanted to say no but was still trying to figure out how to put it in a way that wouldn't hurt her feelings. He should've known better. She didn't need to hear him say it to know what he was thinking.

"Fine."

"Kairi, I only think they know more about this than we do, as much as it sucks," Sora said, slowly. "I don't like it either. She's my friend just as much as she is yours and I don't want to lose her… but… what can we do? What can you and I _do _to fix her?"

Kairi shrugged. "We'll figure something out. So long as we do it together—"

Sora cut her off with a shake of his head.

"Come find me when you've got a better idea than storming around and yelling at everything. I'm gonna go find Joseph and see if he knows where to get me another star shard."

Sora pushed past her, and was gone.

Kairi stood there for a long moment, tears rolling down her cheeks. She eventually started moving—there was no using hanging around in that hallway—but Sora was right. What could just the two of them _do? _

**_xXx_**

The three of them—Vexen, Alpha, and Riku—waited in silence for a moment. It wasn't like they couldn't _hear _Kairi and Sora yelling out in the hall. Riku did his best not to listen too much. It wasn't like he blamed Kairi for being upset. She didn't understand. Didn't understand _why _he'd given up…

Riku rubbed his knuckles, wishing they didn't hurt so much. Sora's Cure had _helped, _but… only by so much. He tried to cast Cure himself, only to have it fizzle out on him halfway through. Just like in Hollow Bastion.

"Any of you know where Joseph is?" Sora asked, poking his head in.

Alpha and Vexen exchanged glances, then both shook their heads.

"You're better off asking 7," Vexen said.

"Where's he?"

"Just down the hall. Opposite wall. Fourth door down from where we are," Alpha replied.

"Which direction?"

Alpha rolled his eyes and pointed for Sora. Sora nodded, said his thanks, and left. Alpha sighed. Turned to Riku .

"What are we going to do with Namine?" he asked. "If we can't fix her?"

Riku shrugged.

"I dunno."

"…maybe you should go see her," Vexen suggested.

"Think I'll pass," Riku said. He clenched his teeth. Facing her right now was the _last _thing he wanted to do.

"We have to do _something _about her, Riku." Alpha's voice was stern. _Angry. _For once he was showing a shred of emotion during this conversation. "We may not be able to fix her," he continued. "But we also can't keep her locked up forever."

"I don't know," Riku repeated, firmer now.

He didn't care if Alpha kept yelling at him. In fact, he'd be quite glad of it.

"And if you're so worried about her, why don't you figure out how to _fix _her!?" Riku continued, drawing his lips back in a threatening snarl. He was only saying it to get a rise out of Alpha.

"If I could've, I would've already! I wouldn't have stopped until she was fixed!" Alpha said. It was a quiet fury he spoke with, but it was a fury, and it made Riku's blood sing.

"But you don't want to use Riku's memories?" Vexen asked, loudly, straightening to his full height.

Alpha shot a glare at Vexen. "Even if they weren't severely unstable, _I _don't know how to translate them into the right code!"

Vexen stared at Alpha for a moment, and then huffed. "Go figure out how to remove the protocols that tell Namine to target Riku," he said, evenly, then cast a glance at Riku. "I'll talk to him."

Alpha looked like he desperately wanted to protest, but he apparently thought better of it. He nodded. Left.

Vexen waited until he was sure Alpha was gone—or out of earshot—and then closed the door, slowly, so it hardly made a sound. The thrill left Riku's veins. His heart seized in his chest. The shut door was supposed to allow them privacy. It just made Riku feel vulnerable.

That is, until Vexen made the mistake of sitting on the end of Riku's cot. Riku burst into a laugh, a short bitter thing.

"What are you gunna do?" he demanded. His mouth drew into an involuntary smirk. "Huh? Talk me into going to see her? _Make _me do it? She's a _monster!_" He shuddered at the mere fact of saying it, but it was true. The smirk became a grimace. "She- she's Larxene in Namine's body. You cannot _ask _me to go near her!"

"What do you want us to do with her, then?" Vexen asked. "You can't expect us to kill her."

"Then make her stop trying to kill me and send her off to some distant world that she can survive on," Riku replied, shifting so he wasn't facing Vexen.

"That's a little cruel…"

The disapproving tone of Vexen's voice was nearly too much to handle. Riku found himself trembling, just slightly, and dug his fingernails into his palms to calm it.

"Wh- whatever's done with her, it needs to involve me being as far away from her as possible," he told Vexen. His voice wavered. He felt sick to have to say it.

Vexen's brow furrowed with confusion.

"But if she does not want to kill you…" he began.

"What good does putting us near each other do?" Riku interrupted. "You know just as well as I do that once you've been Rewritten you _can't go back. _Me being near her isn't going to spark anything." He'd tell Vexen this, first, and then maybe Vexen'd drop the issue. If not…

"The Heart is a curious thing…" Vexen mused.

So he wasn't going to drop the issue so easily. No surprise. None at all. This was Vexen.

"I wanted to kill her," Riku said. The words left his throat in gasps.

Vexen stopped short. Stared for a long moment. Riku didn't wait for him to process and just kept talking. If he didn't stop, he wouldn't have nearly as much time to feel horrible about it.

"Whether or not she wants to kill me is irrelevant. I _wanted _to kill her. I wanted to strangle the life out of her. I wanted to _end her. _She- she reminded me so much of Larxene that once I got over the shock of it all I wanted her _dead _so I didn't have to hear her taunts come out of Namine's mouth."

Vexen's mouth worked to respond, but Riku didn't let him.

"The only thing that stopped me from killing her was the fact that she was _Namine _and I couldn't bear the thought of raising my blade against her, let alone slitting her throat with it." His whole body was shaking, so he crossed his legs under him and folded his arms together. It wouldn't stop it, but it'd make it less noticeable. "But how long- how long is that gonna last?" he asked. "How long is it gonna be before I get so fed up with her that I shove my blade through her chest? You can't let me kill her, Vexen! You _can't._"

Vexen regarded him carefully, for a long moment. Riku tried to tell himself it looked like a scientist considering an experiment or some difficult question that research posed. It didn't.

"Riku, I do not think you would _actually_—"

"Why don't you talk to her for about five minutes, and _then _tell me whether or not I wouldn't kill her."

Vexen swallowed the rest of his sentence. Pursed his lips together. Opened them to speak, only to reconsider. Riku still couldn't quite peg the look he was getting from Vexen, either. He'd never seen it before—at least not on Vexen's face. Not that he could remember.

Vexen took a deep breath. In. Out. "I _can _fix her, Riku," he said, very slowly. "It will take me a very long time, but I can. I just need your memories…"

"She won't be her," Riku countered. "And you know it. You can make her as much like she used to be as possible, but it won't be quite right."

"I'm not quite sure if I entirely understand—"

"Roxas," Riku answered. "I don't know if you've spent much time with him, or if you've noticed, but he's different from how he used to be."

Vexen sighed. Nodded.

"I have noticed. I do understand."

There was a strange gentleness to his voice that Riku didn't understand. Had Kairi really been onto something…? No.

"Good." Riku swallowed. Swallowed again. "Then- then you understand how cruel it would be to either of us—to both of us—to make me spend time with her, even if she is 'fixed'. Because no matter how well you- how well you put her back together, it won't be quite right. And I'll look at her like… like she's broken, whether I want to or not."

"Then you'll have to learn how to accept her," Vexen told him, with a small shrug. "And accept that she's not the same Namine—"

Just the suggestion brought tears to Riku's eyes. He took a second to try and hold them back.

"I've- I've already had to make myself stop- stop loving one Namine," he choked. "I- I don't want to have to make myself stop l-loving a second, and then- and then have to find it in me to love a _third. _A third! Even- even if you do 'fix' her, I can't be a part of her life. I can't… I can't make myself…"

He trailed off, shaking his head.

Vexen squeezed his eyes shut.

"Riku. I am _so _sorry."

Riku shook his head.

"It's not your fault. I was the one who wasn't fast enough to save her."


	241. you thought I forgot about this huh

so today's chapter doesn't have commentary, but if you check the blog you'll find me ranting about RWBY, which I finally got into, and is really really really good (I love Yang. Also Weiss. Though idk if I love Weiss or just have a lot of feelings about Weiss. Is there a difference?)

Oh yeah and I have something Big planned for when we finish Dead Inside. I won't say what just yet but... I got something.

* * *

><p>Kairi was sitting on one of the couches in the Main Room—was it the Main Room? It was the room with all the couches. But how was she supposed to know if there was <em>only <em>one? Regardless…

She was sitting on one of the couches and trying her hardest not to cry. She wanted to cry. She wanted to cry so bad. But crying in front of a bunch of people _wasn't _appealing (well, there were maybe five total in this room. Still…), and she wasn't certain she'd find privacy easily. _Actually, _no, she was certain she could _find _privacy—she was just scared she'd never be able to find her way back to civilization after that.

After who knows how long of frustrated sniveling (she'd left her water behind and didn't have anything to blow her nose with—plus did time even pass _normally _here?) Kairi was quite relieved to see Roxas. No, wait, she was embarrassed to see Roxas. To have him see her crying like this. She was…

"Something wrong?" Roxas asked.

She looked up at him.

"What makes you think that?" she asked in response.

"You're crying."

She wiped her eyes. "Right."

"Do you want to talk about it? I feel like I should offer," Roxas shifted uncomfortably. "I dunno. My head's been kinda funny ever since I got my memories back. Like I'm still adjusting to fully remembering who I am? Not that you'd understand."

Kairi shook her head.

"Sorry. Off topic. You okay?"

Kairi chewed her lip. She wanted to talk to him. She didn't want to talk to him. She hardly knew him—beach date aside. (And not like it was _actually _a date.)

"Or do you not want to talk? Because I should probably assure you that's okay too."

Kairi nearly laughed at him. What came out of her throat was more of a sob. "Are _you_ okay?" she asked.

"For the most part," he replied. "But that's beside the point. Kairi, what's wrong?"

That was it, that's all it took. One sincere look of his blue eyes, a little softness in his tone. Just enough like Sora to break her. Not enough like Sora to upset her.

"They don't think they can fix Namine," she said, and then she really started crying.

She told Roxas as many details as she could, but tried not to spew all of her feelings at him at the same time. He was like Sora. He _wasn't _Sora. She couldn't afford to be completely vulnerable with him. It was second nature, and she had to keep catching herself.

He ended up sitting down next to her somewhere in there, and that only made things worse. Not that she could ask him to get up. He wouldn't understand. Would he understand? Who was Xion? Was she anything like Kairi?

Kairi rubbed her face with exhaustion and tried to center her thoughts. Bunnytrails in her head aside, she was pretty sure she'd managed to tell Roxas everything she could.

"Well, okay," Roxas said, slowly. He looked like he was still processing it. He didn't get _quite _the same thinking face Sora did, but it was similar enough. "I'm not even going to comment about what I think about fixing her and not being able to and blah blah blah." He shooed the matter aside with his hand. "More importantly, has _anyone _even consideredtrying to restore _her _memories to her?"

Kairi opened her mouth. Closed it. Reconsidered. Said: "No… that never did come up. But I imagine they aren't on the database or whatever? Probably?" She shrugged.

"They're probably not," Roxas agreed. Then he leaned a little closer to her, and his voice dropped into an excited whisper. "But neither were _mine._"

"I. What."

Roxas pulled away from her and rolled his eyes. "My memories weren't on the database. Geeze you're slow."

"I still don't get—oh! _Oh!_"

His memories hadn't been on the database, but he'd able to regain them just fine.

"Do… do you think it'll work?" Kairi asked.

"Yeah!" Roxas got to his feet. "Yeah it should. It may not be a perfect solution but, hey, it's a step up in'nit?"

Kairi shrugged. "I guess…" She still wasn't entirely clear on this whole deal, and Roxas's not-quite-straight answers were only confusing her further.

"Listen," Roxas said, gently. Determined. "Memories are a big part of a person and who you are—if you remember who you _were _it will affect who you _are. _Your attitude 'n everything. You remember how you used to act so you continue to act that way—it's how Nobodies pretend they have hearts."

"And… it'll make a difference in Namine?" Kairi asked. Her heart seemed to be in her throat. "It really will?"

"I don't see why it wouldn't," Roxas beamed at her. "She may not be exactly the same as she used to be, but she'll have her memories, and I think that's all that matters. Besides, you can't expect her to stay the same forever—that's bull!"

"Then… then why was anyone worried?"

"Didn't you hear me?" Roxas sent her a curious glance. "Personality and memories go hand in hand. If they didn't have either, of course they were worried."

"I think… I follow…" Kairi said.

"Good because that is about the extent of my knowledge on this subject."

That got Kairi to laugh a little. She stood up.

"How do we get her memories back, though?" she asked "_Can _we get them back?"

Roxas clapped her on the shoulder, and flashed her a grin—and it was truly his own grin, not Sora's imitated on his face. "'Course you can," he told her. "You did for me."

"Yeah… yeah! We can do this."

"Correction: you can do this."

"What?" Kairi frowned at him. "You aren't going to help?"

"I don't think I _can _help," Roxas said. "I mean I don't even _know _Namine. Besides, like, the fact Riku's got a huge crush on her."

Kairi couldn't argue with him there. About either fact. She almost told him he'd make good emotional support, but then decided against it. If she was going to do this with anyone, it'd be with Sora. Roxas wasn't the same.

"You got any idea where Namine is, though?" she asked him. "I think I could maybe get to her but this Castle's… confusing."

"I don't actually know where Namine is… Like, specifically. If I knew that I could tell you how to get there."

"She's in like, a holding cell or something. That direction, definitely." Kairi pointed. "Not too far from here, either, but, like I said. I'd get lost if I even tried to find it."

"I think I can help," Roxas said. He nodded uncertainly. "I've got a map of this place in my head or something. Map of all worlds, actually. It's weird. But handy."

"Well, whatever, let's just get going!"

They headed off. Kairi was able to keep track of where they were headed for maybe… twenty seconds. Then they went down some hall and Kairi officially lost track of where she was. She tried to keep an eye out for landmarks or something but everything looked _exactly _the same. All the doors. All the walls. It was like a maze.

"Hold on! Just a second!" someone called after them.

Roxas stopped. Kairi turned around to look, and groaned. It was Vexen—or, one of the Replicas.

"I…. don't want to deal with him," Kairi said, and started walking again.

Roxas started walking, too. "Do you even know which one—"

"No." Kairi started running. "I'm not stopping though."

Except then a dark corridor opened in front of them, effectively cutting off their path.

"HOLY SHOOT," Kairi screamed, skidding to a halt and back pedaling a little.

"This really is imperative, or I wouldn't have bothered, I promise," Vexen—or maybe he was a Replica—said.

"Look," Kairi made a show of straightening her shirt. "I get it. You think fixing Namine is a terrible idea—or one that can't be done but I _am not _giving up on her and I won't let you—"

"I am not _trying _to stop you," Vexen/the Replica said, very calmly. "I'm trying to help you."

Kairi relaxed a little, but she still scowled at him.

"I think you have me mistaken for someone else," Vexen/the Replica sighed. Kairi was starting to think he wasn't Vexen, and really was just one of the Replicas. That didn't mean she wasn't still a little bitter, though.

"It's not hard when there's a million of you," she snapped.

"Forty-eight," the Replica corrected.

"Whatever!"

"She has a point," Roxas added.

The Vexen Replica just shook his head. "Here," he said, reaching into his cloak pocket. "Take this."

Kairi frowned at the binder he was handing her. First off, how was a binder going to help? Second, how the _heck _had it fit in his pocket?

"What's this?" Roxas asked, as Kairi started to open it.

"NO! DON'T OPEN IT!" the Vexen shouted.

Kairi raised her eyebrows, but shut the binder again.

"Why not?" she asked.

"That is a collection of pictures Namine drew, shortly after she was created," the Replica explained. "I won't get into the specifics as to why, but anyone who looks at the pictures will be forced to relive the moments in them."

"Strange…" Kairi mused, but she didn't pester any farther. "So if… _Namine _looks at them…" She trailed off, looking up at the Vexen.

"She will be forced to relive those memories," he replied.

"And it could trigger the rest of her memory."

The Vexen nodded.

Kairi looked at Roxas. He shrugged.

"Worth a shot."

Kairi nodded. "How'd you know we needed this?"

"I overheard you and Roxas talking," the Vexen replied. "Forgive me for eavesdropping."

"It's alright. Thank you," she told the Vexen, and she and Roxas continued to Namine.

It turned out she wasn't very far.

Kairi paused with her hand on the door to the room. "So you're not staying?" she asked Roxas.

"I'd really rather not."

Kairi shrugged. "That's alright," she told him. "Thank y—wait a sec! I don't know if I can get back on my own."

"That… could be a problem," Roxas admitted. He sighed.

"Do you really have something better to do?" Kairi asked. "You can wait out here if you really want."

Roxas grumbled, but found a place by the wall to sit.

"Thank you," Kairi told him.

He just waved at her to go inside.


	242. This

Namine tapped her toes against the ground. _Anything _to keep herself occupied. She was trapped her with nothing to do, and more importantly, no weapons. No blade. No lightning. No dark corridors. Though, only lightning would do her any good, restrained like this. And if she _could _form dark corridors, that would get her out of the room, but would it get her out of the restraints?

She was just trying to see if she could _break _said restraints when the door opened. Of course, Kairi wasn't _in _the room when she stepped through the door, she was in the secondary room, which was separated from this one by a wall of glass. Well, it probably _wasn't_ glass—glass was an unwise decision in what was meant to be a prison. Too easy to break.

Namine straightened and shifted in her seat. This chair was _so _uncomfortable.

"Kairi!" she called, putting on her best innocent voice. "I'm _so _glad you're here! Any way you can let me out? These restraints are cutting into my wrists and this chair is _awful—_"

"I'm not doing _anything _for you," Kairi snapped, as she moved through the doorway and into the room where Namine _actually _was.

"What? But Kairi," Namine pretended to sound hurt. _Offended. _In reality, she was only annoyed. "We're friends, aren't we? Friends don't treat each other like this…"

She squinted at the binder Kairi was holding. What good would _that _do her. And… hadn't Namine seen it before?

"Very funny," Kairi said. She didn't _sound _amused, though, only tired. Clearly she'd caught on to the act. Namine didn't bother hiding the grimace.

"What are you here for, then?" she asked.

Kairi took a long breath. When she spoke, it was with kindness. "I just want to show you something."

Namine eyed her warily. Kindness usually meant you wanted something. What did Kairi want? Namine's fist clenched, and her wrists bumped against the restraints.

Kairi moved to stand next to Namine. Namine shifted uneasily—damn these restraints! Her stomach churned, and her heart pounded, and she _hated _it. What did she have to be scared about? Nothing!

"What are you doing?" Namine asked, as Kairi opened the binder in front of her. The image was of her and Riku, sitting on the shores of Destiny Islands. As if? What? Showing her pictures of her and Riku together would soften her up or something?

"Trying to get you to remember," was all Kairi said.

"There's nothing to remember!" Namine screamed. She threw herself against the back of the chair, away from the binder, as if it would bite her. Why was her heart pounding so? "These memories aren't—ah!" She cried out, as there was a tug in her mind. Images filled her head, then voices.

_ "Sunrises are beautiful," Namine exclaimed, in awe._

It was like she _was _sitting on those shores, her legs pressed against the chill sand, sitting next to Riku. Just the sight—the feel—of him made her blood boil.

_"It is, isn't it?" he laughed._

She couldn't _stand _that laugh.

_"I think I like sunsets better."_

_ "What? Why!?"_

It was all so meaningless, she feared her brains would start oozing out her ears. What was the _point _of making her see this?

"Stop it!" she said, squeezing her eyes shut. "It's not—"

The sound of pages turning made her open her eyes again. A mistake. This picture showed her and Riku in Castle Oblivion. A pain shot through her head, and she closed her eyes. It was no use. The moment engulfed her.

_"Shh.. sh... it's alright."_

Riku's voice. She got the sense his arms were around her. It made her want to puke.

_"Riku, please, it- it hurts—"_

"CUT IT OUT!" she screamed, throwing her weight in the chair. It shook slightly, but it was well rooted to the ground and didn't topple. Kairi moved so she was kneeling in front of Namine, holding the binder open about in her lap. _She_ couldn't see the pictures from this angle, Namine realized. So their magic couldn't work on her.

"Namine. Please." Kairi sounded so gentle. Didn't she realize how pointless this was?

Another image. Riku, on the ground, cowering.

_"Stupid little toy!"_

What was this supposed to do? Make her feel sorry for him? She _hated _him. He was a _monster. _Just the thought brought the visions to her head.

_Riku, bathed in darkness. Grinning. Laughing. _Enjoying _himself as he threw blast after blast of darkness down at his victim._

_ "Riku! stop it!"_

_ "Wha? Namine! Get off me!"_

_ "No. No I won't let you—"_

She squeezed her eyes shut. Bit back tears. She hated seeing him like that. Hated _him. _

"What do you hope to gain?" she spat, doubling over. "Do you honestly think showing me a bunch of fuzzy happy memories will make me like him again? Like you? It won't!"

"This isn't you, Namine." Kairi said. She was kind. Gentle. Patient. Why wasn't she furious? Screaming? If only Namine wasn't restrained…

It continued like that. On and on, picture after picture. Most were happy-fluffy and made her want to barf. But there was also a lot of pain. And crying. Crying until her eyes were sore and she wished she wasn't restrained just so she could _wipe _her face.

She didn't understand why it hurt. She didn't care! She didn't care about Riku or any of them. She _didn't_…

_Really…._

"ENOUGH!" Kairi screamed. That was followed by the sound of something—the binder, presumably—hitting the wall. Namine breathed out in relief. Then Kairi took her head in her hands, and Namine tensed all over. After a second, she relaxed, but only because she was _so _exhausted. Reliving memory after memory did quite a number on you.

"Remember," Kairi whispered, her breath warm on Namine's face. "Remember who you are. You aren't a set of moments, you aren't a set of memories, you aren't a set of desires. You are a person. You are you, and your heart is so strong. You aren't a killer, you aren't a fighter, and you know you're not."

Namine squeezed her eyes shut. Her head was pounding. Her ears rang.

"Just try and think about what you are, Namine," Kairi continued, softly. "Think about _who _you are… _remember _yourself, Namine, because this isn't you."

Namine took a shuddering gasp in.

"I'm—"

Memories raged her head, but they were much quicker. Sharper. Hitting her like knives and strong enough to knock the wind out of her lungs.

_Riku._

_ Driving her blade through him—_

_ No._

_ Holding him._

_ As he shakes, as he cries, as he screams._

_ Kissing him._

_ The happiest she ever felt._

_Smiling at him._

_ Telling him it's going to be okay._

_ Throwing herself in front of a lightning bolt to protect him._

She had faith in him—in everyone.

Faith in Kairi, to embrace her destiny.

Faith in Sora, to overcome his darkness.

Faith in Riku, to not give in to madness and the monster Larxene had created in him.

And she.

Was not.

Larxene.

She was not cruel words and sharpened knives. She was gentle touches, and words of hope.

She was Namine.

"I'm- I'm _sorry,_" she choked. She was bent over double, exhausted, tears streaming down her cheeks. She wanted so badly to curl in on herself. Forget what she said to Riku. Forget what she did to him.

Forget what she did to Kairi.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. The words seemed so flimsy. How could they alone make up for the pain she'd inflicted? Saying what she had to Kairi—fighting her. Kairi's eye still looked a little swollen. And- and _Riku. _Watching him tremble before her, and cry, and just laughing and taunting him even more. "I- I didn't mean it, I- I was so scared and I never—"

"This is you, right?" Kairi interrupted.

The question made Namine shiver, but she supposed it was just.

"I. I think so," she said. She trembled all over. "I. I mean I can- I can _separate _it in my head, y'know?" Her head was pounding, and she scrunched up her face in pain. "I _feel _like me. Or, at least, I _don't _feel like Larxene." She looked up at Kairi, grimaced. "This making any sense?"

"I think…" Kairi said slowly. She pulled away from Namine and settled on the ground, on her knees. "And I _want _to believe you. I mean, I did roughly what I did to Roxas, and it worked on him." She sent a rueful glance over at the binder. "No telling if _that_ thing did any good…"

"It might've…" Namine whispered. "It seemed so _pointless _when I was- when I wasn't me. But I guess anything that ticked _her—_the not-me—off is good?" She didn't want to call that not-her _Larxene, _even though there was probably no better name she could give it. It just made the reality of the whole ordeal clamp down on her harder.

"It just seemed like you were crying and nothing was really happening," Kairi said. "But as long as whatever it was worked… are you sure it worked?"

Namine shook her head. "I'm not sure I'm a good judge on that," she answered. "I _feel _like me. But I also felt like me before when I wasn't me. Except now that I think I'm me I remember what not-me did and… I just want- I just want to… _strangle_ myself."

"No, none of that," Kairi grabbed her hands hastily. "None of that. I think- I think you're good. I also think you should stop talking before you confuse either of us anymore."

"I am talking myself in circles aren't I?"

"A little."

"Are you sure I'm okay? That I'm, y'know, _safe? _I- I nearly _killed _the both of you." Fresh tears came to her eyes. Her head was _throbbing. _"I- _punched _you and it was lucky I didn't break your nose! Plus- plus- _Riku. _I- I…"

She couldn't articulate the thought into words. She hardly wanted to think about, let alone _admit, _what she'd _done _to get Riku's defenses down. What she'd _said. _How she'd—

"I think you're fine," Kairi told her. "And I think the fact that you're doubting it only proves it."

Namine tightened her hold on Kairi's hands. The pounding in her head seemed to resonate through her entire body. She wasn't sure what it wanted, but it wanted _something, _and she feared it'd beat her senseless unless it got it.

"Kairi, _please_. You have every reason not to believe me. Just- Just leave me here. Don't try and save me."

Kairi pulled back from her, eyes wide with horror. "What!? _No!_"

"_Please_. I can't risk hurting Riku. I can't—" The pounding throughout her only grew stronger as she said it. It was hard to think around it.

"I'll be right back," Kairi said. Or, that's what Namine _thought _she said. She could hardly hear it. She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned back in the chair, taking deep breaths. The pounding wouldn't stop, and she feared it'd consume her. What did it _want?_

Kairi returned not much later, with Roxas in tow. They talked for a little, but Namine could hardly make it out. Roxas turned to look at her. When he spoke, she was surprised to find his voice cut cleanly through the pounding that had blurred everything else.

"You still want to kill Riku, don't you?"

To Namine's horror, the moment she thought _yes, _the pounding stopped completely.

"What the hell kind of question was _that?_" Kairi demanded. She looked about ready to punch Roxas.

"Why did it stop?" Namine asked. "Why did it _stop!?_"

"It started because you'd gone too long without thinking about hurting Riku," Roxas answered. "And that should be able to tell you why it stopped."

It felt like something had just grabbed Namine's stomach and wrung it like a wet towel.

"Theoretically, you can just think about punching him in the jaw and it'll stop," Roxas continued, with a laid-back smile. Whether or not it was meant to reassure her, it just made Namine uneasy. "That's how I survived."

"What are you two _talking _about?" Kairi looked between them, eyes narrowed.

"The pounding," Namine answered, forgetting that Kairi wouldn't understand.

"It's how they intended to keep us in line," Roxas explained. "The protocols or failsafes or whatever you want to call them. We go too long thinking about how we _don't _want to do what we were programmed to do, and a pounding will start in our head, and won't relent until you give in."

"I can't _live _like this," Namine said. "Having to think about- about hurting Riku every—"

"They can fix it," Roxas assured her. He looked over at Kairi. "She's good, by the way. Someone will have to remove the protocols, of course, but she's her. She wouldn't feel the pounding if she wasn't."

Kairi nodded, slowly. "Then we need to go get someone to let her go."

"And fix my data."

"Yeah. That too."


	243. is it

Just warning you, today's chapter commentary isn't Very Special, though there is a link to a really great SoRiKai fic I read the other night. You should definitely consider reading it. Please.

* * *

><p>"RIKU!"<p>

Though Riku'd _never _admit it later, he definitely jumped in surprise when Kairi slammed a hand against the doorframe to pull herself to a halt. It looked like she'd been running, and she seemed really urgent. There was also a glint in her eyes.

"There you are!" Kairi half-laughed, half panted. "Namine's fixed."

Riku stared, not sure if he'd heard that right. He looked around the room—they were in the room Alpha and 7 were using to look at Namine's data. Vexen's brow was furrowed with confusion, but he looked hopeful. Alpha looked suspicious. (7 wasn't actually currently here.)

"Is she?" Vexen asked.

Kairi nodded.

"And how'd you manage that?" Alpha asked.

"Memories." It was Roxas who replied, this time. He leaned on the other side of the doorframe, looking smug. "I figured if getting _my _memories back was enough to keep _me _from killing Riku, why wouldn't it work for Namine?"

Riku scowled. "Actually, you remembered everything, and _then _you tried to kill me."

Roxas considered that for a moment. "Oh. yeah. I guess that was how it happened."

"But restoring her memories _would _restore her personality, in theory," Vexen said. He sounded convinced.

Riku wasn't quite sure if he was. He turned to Kairi again, meeting her eyes.

"She really is her?" he asked, quietly.

Kairi nodded. She was grinning. She was crying.

"She's back. A little shaken up, but… I think we all are."

Riku didn't need to hear anymore.

**_xXx_**

"What if it's a trick?"

Riku skidded to a dead halt and rounded on Vexen. They all had gone to see how Namine was—even Alpha. Riku wasn't sure which he was more upset about coming: Alpha or Vexen.

_What if it's a trick?_

The thought made his blood run cold.

"Why didn't you mention that sooner!?" he demanded. Why hadn't any of them but Vexen thought of it? He didn't want to end up falling for _another _of her tricks. The last had nearly cost him his life.

"Riku, I swear, she's her!" Kairi said. She grabbed a hold of his arm, as if _that _would do anything. "She's Namine. Roxas can vouch for her. Ri—where'd he _go?_" She let go of Riku's arm, and glanced around. Roxas was nowhere to be seen.

"He left a bit ago," Alpha said. "Something about better things to do."

"_What _things?" Kairi demanded, then groaned. "Whatever. Look, Riku. I talked to her for a long while and I _know _she's her. Roxas talked to her too—"

"He doesn't know her," Riku argued.

"I _know _that," Kairi said. "But they talked and there was some… _thing_ they had in common. Namine called it 'pounding' and- and there was something about punching you in the jaw."

Riku raised his eyebrows. Given the looks on Vexen's and Alpha's faces, they knew nothing about what she was talking about, either.

Kairi groaned again, and ran a hand through her hair. "Okay. I don't know exactly what I'm talking about, and I wish Roxas was here to explain it. Yeah. But I _do _know that whatever it was, Roxas was _sure _that her feeling it meant she was her again."

"I don't see how that's reassuring," Riku snapped.

"But I do think it is worth seeing her, at least," Vexen said. "Kairi seems positive of herself, and I don't think she's one to lie."

"Well…" Riku began, sending Kairi a distrusting look. It wasn't like she _hadn't _lied before.

"I wouldn't lie about _this!_" Kairi insisted. "Now come on!"

She started running again before anyone could argue further.

"I'll go after her..." Alpha sighed. "Just so she doesn't get lost."

Riku and Vexen waited a moment, but continued after them. It was a little frustrating to be walking at the same pace as Vexen, but Riku didn't have the energy to run. Or try and outpace Vexen "politely". Or tell him to buzz off.

At least Vexen didn't try and talk to him or anything, so they arrived at Namine's… holding cell. Whatever it was. The room Namine was in. Riku hesitated in the doorway, watching through the glass. Alpha'd released Namine from her restraints, and she and Kairi were talking. Namine kept sending hesitant glances at him, but she didn't seem keen on coming to talk to him or even waving him over.

Riku was grateful. This way he had an excuse to hesitate more.

_What if it really is anther trick?_

"You should go in there." Vexen's voice.

Riku shook his head. _I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want this to be a trick, _he thought. He didn't dare tell Vexen. He didn't particularly _like _telling Vexen things, he just ended up doing so after Vexen pestered long enough.

"Why don't I go in there, hmm?" Vexen asked. "And I'll talk to her. I should be able to tell whether or not she's still acting like Larxene."

Riku sent a disinterested look at him. Vexen just smiled, and ducked inside.

Riku just stood and watched. Everyone kept sending glances back at him—even Alpha—but no one moved to make him come in. He supposed he _could _just walk away. No one would blame him.

"_Even if you 'fix' her, I can't be a part of her life…"_

That's what he'd told Vexen.

_But, if she has her memories back… then she really is still her, isn't she? I'm not just worried she's still like Larxene. I'm worried that she won't be her…._

He tapped his fingers against the wall beside him, counting the beats, so he wouldn't have to think about it. His eyes saw Vexen and Namine talking—gesturing his direction—but he hardly processed it.

Maybe he should just go. At least for now.

Running from his problems was all he'd ever been good at, anyway.

"That's definitely her."

Vexen again. He must've approached while Riku was busy with his thoughts.

"N-not an act?" Riku asked.

Vexen shook his head. "Larxene couldn't keep an act up this long, and she _sounds _like Namine—well." He grimaced, reconsidered. "She's… she's a little off, but I think that should be expected after a full Rewrite."

"Mmm…"

That didn't ease Riku's nerves. At all.

"She said at least three times while I was in there that maybe it would be best if you just left for right now, so she couldn't hurt you," Vexen said, calmly. "She seems really worried about that. Larxene wouldn't be, and like I said, she couldn't keep up an act this long."

Riku swallowed. Tried to not look in at Namine.

"Just go in there. I promise. It'll be okay."

Riku slowly pushed away from the wall. Stepped through the doorway. Hesitated at the door next to the glass, but pushed through that one too. His lungs felt constricted. Too many _what ifs_ ran through his head. He wanted to turn and flee from here.

_I've always run from my fears, anyway. It's easier that way._

But he didn't run. He paused about five feet away from her, trying to figure out what to say. Was 'hi' appropriate here? Should he just say her name? 'I'm glad you're okay'?

Then she started moving towards him. At first he thought she was coming in for a hug—that would be appropriate now, wouldn't it?—but then he saw the malice in her eyes.

He sidestepped. She stumbled past him, regained herself, turned and thrust her hand against his throat. Her thumb and middle finger tightened in a clasp just under his jaw. The grip wasn't quite enough to be deadly—yet—but it did enough. He felt he couldn't breathe, and suspected it had little to do with the grip she had on his neck.

"N-Namine," he gasped.

She didn't move. He didn't either. His limbs were like jelly. Her grip tightened.

"Namine!" Kairi screamed. She dragged Namine off, wrapping her arms under Namine's shoulders to keep her restrained. "Namine, c'mon! C'mon I know you want to but it's _not you _it's just the pounding or- or whatever it was."

Riku just stood there, numb.

"Get him out of the room!" Kairi shouted. "C'mon, Namine. C'mon. You don't have to give in."

A hand wrapped around Riku's forearm. Vexen. Riku nearly jumped out of his skin, but Vexen held him firmly, and dragged him outside.

Once out there, Vexen let go. Riku rubbed his arm, trying not to think about how Vexen's grip had left marks on his skin. Though, better to think about that than the tightness of his throat. He could almost still feel Namine's palm pressed against his neck.

"Riku I'm _sorry!_" Namine called. She'd slumped to the ground, and Kairi'd let go of her, clearly no longer thinking her a threat. "I'm _sorry _I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

"It's alright." The words just fell from his lips. It wasn't actually alright.

"What was _that?_" Vexen demanded. Riku wasn't sure who he was asking.

"The protocols telling her to kill Riku are still in place, that's all," Alpha responded. He smiled, just slightly. "But it shouldn't be too hard to remove them. I almost had 37's failsafes cracked when we were called down here. Besides…" He looked at Riku, and smiled in full. "It wasn't making her stop trying to kill you that I was worried about. It was making her _her _again. And it seems Kairi fixed that problem."

Riku just nodded. He couldn't think straight enough to come up with a reply.

"Go on," Vexen told him, gently. "Go see what Sora's doing, or something. Just for now. We'll take care of Namine."

Riku just nodded again. Very slowly, he turned and left.

**_xXx_**

Namine rubbed her fingers together nervously. She was sitting on a cot in 7's room, the pseudo infirmary. The other cot was empty. 7 and Alpha each stood at separate computer—7 at the one next to her.

She didn't know where Riku was at the moment. He'd left after she'd—well, she didn't blame him. And she supposed it didn't matter. As long he wasn't nearby, she couldn't hurt him. She'd apologize later. A million times, if she had to.

"I want any data that looks even remotely like Larxene removed," Namine said, firmly. "_Especially _the lightning. And I don't really want to keep the blade either."

"It may not be wise to leave yourself completely defenseless," Alpha advised. "I mean, it could come in handy—the blade at least. And some of your reflexes and strength—"

"I want it gone."

It wasn't like she hadn't survived without it before.

"But—even if it's not lightning—having particular control over a specific element nearly circumvents the need for ethers or…"

"I don't want it," Namine repeated.

"What she says goes, Alpha," 7 said. His tone left no room for argument. Alpha looked a little miffed, but he dropped it. 7 turned to Namine. "You'll want to lie down."

"What for?"

"So when your data turns off you don't collapse into a heap on the floor," 7 replied, a touch of humor in his voice. Namine liked that about 7. He had a personality that made even the most serious things seem laid back, and in a _good _way. (Unlike Roxas, who practically mocked serious matters by being laid back about them. It must've been something about the tone…)

"That's… yeah…" Namine lay back on the cot.

"Nervous?" 7 asked.

"No. Should I be?"

"You were Rewritten. I'd imagine this'd bring back some bad memories."

Namine shook her head and folded her hands across her stomach. "They disabled me before they even got me to the editing room. So no, I'm not nervous."

"Good—Alpha, stop giving me that look and let me do my job!"

Namine giggled.

"Ready?" 7 asked.

Namine nodded.

"Uh-huh."

The world went black.


	244. This is the end

Heyo, just thought I should let everyone know that a few days ago (Sept 3 2014) I updated ch87 of Dead Inside with a rewritten version of the scene which addresses Important Continuity Issues like how Kairi's dad actually didn't notice Sora being gone for three months, and Riku and Namine's living situations on Destiny Islands back when they lived there

you should _probably _read it when you have time

* * *

><p>Riku paced back and forth, rubbing his chin, rubbing his fingers together, rubbing his forearms, whatever. He'd paced the length of this couch at least five hundred times in the past few hours. He wasn't sure how many hours it'd been—two or three, he thought—he just knew he'd taken somewhere over two thousand steps.<p>

Sora and Kairi were actually _sitting _on the couch, and kept sending looks over their shoulders and over the back of it to try and talk to him. Maybe he talked back. He couldn't remember. The moments kept slipping through his fingers like sand. All he could think of was Namine's face. The malice in her eyes. The way her palm had felt against his throat.

Could that really be fixed with a few clicks of a computer and the erasure of some data? No one had offered to Rewrite _him _like that—no one'd offered to fix some of the things that were wrong with his data. In theory, it could be done. But _everything_ could be done in theory, and Riku knew from experience that it was hard to go back from being Rewritten. For him, it'd been impossible. He'd never be rid of the memories—

No, no, that was behind him now.

"You sure you don't want to go to Hollow Bastion?" Kairi asked, turning herself completely around and leaning her elbows on the back of the couch. It wasn't the first time she'd suggested it.

"Yeah, there could always be Heartless," Sora added.

"Or a nice book to read."

"Or you could talk to Aerith."

That was the thought Riku dreaded most. Having to tell Aerith that Namine was safe, but that she'd tried to kill him at least twice specifically and nearly managed once. Tell her that maybe Namine wasn't okay now. That for both of their safety, they may have no choice but to stay separated.

Maybe he was being over dramatic…

But he couldn't stop _worrying._

"C'mon, Riku, anything to get your mind distracted," Sora said.

"Time goes faster when you're having fun—or just doing something," Kairi added.

"Doesn't this place have a fake-Heartless creation something or other? So you can just open up a room and fight to your heart's content?" Sora asked.

Riku shrugged. It probably did. He didn't feel like fighting Heartless, though. He could hardly hold his blade without thinking about how he'd nearly chopped Namine's head off with it. How Namine'd wielded one near-exactly like it. And apparently using darkness alone wasn't a good idea… He rubbed the patch of dark purple on his abdomen, grimacing.

"You… you said you talked to Joseph?" Riku asked, looking at Sora. He stopped pacing and placed a hand on the back of the couch, leaning tensely against it.

Sora nodded. "Yeah, got a new star shard from him. He says it's the last spare one he's got though, so I've gotta be careful with it."

"He seem alright?"

Riku swallowed, thickly.

Sora started to nod, paused, shrugged. "A… little out of it, but what can you expect?"

"Right."

"You really should find something to do," Kairi told him. "Why don't I head back to Hollow Bastion and get that one book you were supposed to read?"

"…that's okay."

"Hey, and not necessary, either!" Sora laughed. He pointed. "There she is!"

Namine walked slowly into the main room, glancing around. Riku's heart pulled in his chest. He was happy to see her. He was terrified to see her. He only moved to stop leaning on the couch, and rub his arms nervously.

"Namine!" Sora called, waving her over.

She looked, nodded, and came to join them. The slight smile on her face fell the moment her eyes fell on Riku. His heart pulled again.

"I… I'm not going to hurt you," Namine told him. Her voice cracked. She forced a smile on her face, to reassure him. How had she even known that was what he was worried about?

Riku said nothing. He gripped his arms instead of rubbing them.

"I promise," Namine said. "That was the first thing they got rid of—the second was the ability to summon lightning, and a blade. And- and 7 said he got as much Larxene data out of me as he could…" She hugged her arms over her chest, too, trembling a little. "But- but there's nothing keeping me from coming back later and having him look at it again, so it's no- no big deal."

Riku still said nothing.

What was he supposed to say?

'Sorry' was the word that wanted to come to his lips, but it didn't seem quite right.

He'd reach out to touch her, hug her, wrap his arms around her to comfort her… but the couch was still between them, and he wasn't too keen on moving. As much as he hated it, his brain still processed her as an enemy, and distance between them—especially _objects—_was a good thing.

"Well, _I'm_ glad you're okay, Namine! You feeling any better?" Sora said, breaking the silence. He probably only said it _to _break the silence. He was always good at doing that.

Namine nodded.

"Y-yeah… I'm feeling a little better."

"That's good!" Sora grinned at her.

"How are you doing?" she asked in return. Probably just being polite. Her eyes said she wasn't interested in the conversation. They kept flickering over at Riku.

"Okay." Sora shrugged. "I… I could be better, but…"

"But after all that's happened, I think it's understood that none of us are really feeling too great," Namine finished.

Sora nodded.

"Yeah!"

"_Well, _I'd love to chat, but it looks like Namine desperately wants to talk to Riku," Kairi said, grabbing Sora by the arm and dragging him to his feet with her. "So, uh, maybe we should go."

"What?" Sora looked between Riku and Namine. "Oh! Yeah. Yeah, we'll leave you to that."

They headed off. Not that they went far. They only moved a few couches away.

"That's not much privacy…" Riku mumbled, sourly.

"They're probably just worried, and want to be close, just in case," Namine assured him. She sat down on the couch, right where Sora'd been sitting.

"In case of what?" Riku asked, not that he needed to. He moved around to the other side of the couch, absently, fighting down every red flag flaring up in him. Namine was _not _a threat. Not anymore.

Though, as she pulled him down to sit on the couch next to her, he had second thoughts. Her grip was slightly too tight on his arm, and she pulled him down with much more force than she normally would. He actually gasped in shock.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry!" Namine exclaimed, letting go of him. "7 told me he'd returned my strength to normal! Guess not…" She trailed off with a sigh.

"I- I guess it's not a bad thing," Riku stammered. He tried not to rub his arm, where she'd grabbed him. It wasn't like she'd left marks or anything, but her grip was still one that was hard to forget, especially when it had so much force.

Namine let out a long breath. From the way her shoulders slumped, she didn't seem to think it was a good thing at all.

"I'm sorry…" Riku mumbled, turning away from her.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I… I wasn't there in time to save you…"

"No!" Namine protested. "That's _my_ fault. I went _willingly _with Xigbar when he showed up. If anyone's sorry, it should be me." Her voice seemed sharper than usual, but maybe he was imagining things.

"But I wasn't fast enough…"

"I bet my _life _away, Riku! This isn't _your _fault!"

She grabbed his arm, squeezing it a little. He sent a nervous glance at her. She looked upset, but not angry. Just frustrated.

"I- I let you down," he said. It was his fault. How could it not be? "I- I could've been—"

Namine shook her head, cutting him off. When she spoke, her voice was softer, but just as firm: "You didn't let me down. I bet my own life away. I nearly lost it, yeah, but that's my own fault. I should've never put you in- in that position." Her voice wavered. Tears glinted in the corners of her eyes. "I- I should've never- never put any of us in that position."

Riku couldn't think of anything to say in reply.

He didn't want to admit she was at right. If she was at right, then she was at fault. She wasn't at fault. He wasn't fast enough. It was him—

Namine sighed, deeply. Riku pushed the thoughts aside. They could leave it there for now.

"Could you forgive me?" he whispered.

"Riku, I said it wasn't your—"

"No. For." He shook his head, and nearly laughed. It was a hollow laugh, though, if a laugh at all. "I- I wanted to… I…"

How was he supposed to say this? Telling Vexen had been easy—surprisingly. Maybe it was because it didn't immediately affect Vexen. Maybe it was because he'd been making a point. He was telling Namine out of obligation—because she deserved to know, not because he wanted to tell her.

"I- I wanted to…. k-_kill_ you…"

It came out in a fumble, barely leaving his mouth.

"I know." Namine looked down at her knees. "I know. Looking back on it, I- I wanted to, too. Want to. I mean I didn't at the time but…" She shook her head, rubbed her face with her hands. "Gosh, Riku, I'm _so sorry. _I'm _so _sorry. For- for hurting you for- all- all the _things _I said and… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Riku told her. He rested a hand on her leg—comfort in a way, he supposed. "That wasn't you. You didn't—"

"But I _remember _it, Riku. I _remember _doing it and I just…"

"It's alright—"

"No it's _not!_" Namine shouted. She threw her hands back into her lap, hitting his hand in the process. He quickly moved it. "I _remember _doing it and- and the things I said. The things I _called _you. You can't tell me those were okay."

"I hardly heard any of them, honestly… not with all the yelling Kairi was doing," Riku said. He laughed, lightly, a little emptily.

"She was doing a lot of that, wasn't she…?"

Riku nodded.

"But still…" Namine began.

"You're sorry and I forgive you," he interrupted. "I think that's all it comes down to. I _know _it wasn't you and- and had it been any other situation you wouldn't have. I know. It hurt, hearing you say those things, but you didn't have a _choice. _I understand that, I- I accept that, and I forgive you for it." He shrugged. "Sounds like- sounds like now you just gotta forgive yourself."

Namine hung her head. Her shoulders shook. She said nothing.

Riku bit his lip, but then wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him. He took deep breaths—if he was upset, it'd only upset her more. She slowly shifted into his grasp, moving to wrap both her arms around him and bury her face in his chest. He wrapped his other arm around her, held her there.

And to think, there'd been a moment there where he may not have been able to hold her like this again. Never feel like this again.

It wasn't incredibly intimate—or maybe it was. It just wasn't intimate in a way that would leave your heart racing and your lungs a little short of air. It was calmer. Peaceful. Just holding the one you loved in your arms and knowing neither of you had to move any time soon. Just sitting there and enjoying the stillness, and the rhythm of your breathing against each other.

Riku just held on tighter.

He wasn't letting go of her any time soon.


	245. Epilogue: Riku's Side

I'd say this is surreal but I got over finishing Dead Inside being surreal like a month or two ago. (I finished writing it in like. July. Here we are posting in September.) I bet it's pretty surreal to you guys though? One more chapter after this one. Just one more.

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><p>"Kay… so… I really hate to interrupt…"<p>

Riku looked up. Kairi was standing in front of them, hands placed awkwardly at her hips—as if they were there only because she wasn't sure what else to do with them. Sora stood next to her, arms folded across his chest, but otherwise looking as laid back as usual.

"We tried to wait until you looked like you were done," Kairi said. "But like…"

Sora picked up where she trailed off. "We just wanted to know when you planned on heading back home—no sense in us _not _all going back together."

Riku stared, squinting his eyes as if that would help him think. Namine shifted to pull away from him, not that it made any difference when it came to his thinking process.

"Home?" he asked.

"Destiny Islands," Namine told him, in a slight whisper.

Riku very suddenly felt like an idiot. Of course. Of course they'd meant…

"Oh…"

"I take that as a… you're not coming back?" Kairi asked. There was a sad look in her eyes, and she moved to rub one of her wrists in a nervous matter.

"Not that you _have _to," Sora said. He sent a look over at Kairi, and then smiled in Riku and Namine's direction. "I get it. It's weird to _me _to consider going back after all that's happened. But I've got family…"

"And they've got us," Kairi argued. "My dad's gonna be worried about Namine, at least, and—"

"But it's not _your _decision whether or not they come back," Sora interrupted.

From the sounds of it, they'd been arguing over this for a while.

"Well…. We're definitely not going back today," Namine said. "I was planning on staying around here a little while longer just to make sure my data's all… y'know… in order."

"Really?" Sora seemed legitimately surprised. "But I thought your data was all fixed."

Namine shifted uncomfortably. "7 said he got most of it but he didn't seem very certain that he got _all _of it," she explained. "There me be some traces of something or other—I forget if it was some of 37's failsafes or the Larxene data. Or both. But he says there's probably still some, uh, 'undesirable' data and- and long story short there may be a small chance something could slip and I try and kill Riku again and I'd rather not have that happen on Destiny Islands."

"Mm… That is a good point," Sora mused.

"He really didn't get everything?" Riku asked. He sent a worried look down at Namine.

She nodded. "He said he probably should've been looking at my data for longer than three hours, but I was getting worried about worrying you too much—I mean he swears he got _most _of it I just… I'll probably have to go have him look at it again pretty soon here, actually."

"Well as long as it gets taken care of, I guess," Kairi said.

Namine nodded.

Riku licked his lips, but decided against saying anything.

"So… what about after that?" Kairi asked. She gave Namine a saddened look. "Will you come home then?"

"I dunno. I think I'd like to go back, but… Riku…" She sent a look at him. He tried not to squirm too much.

It wasn't that he didn't _like _Destiny Islands, it was just… going back there permanently seemed about as bad of an idea as staying in Castle Oblivion permanently.

"Look, don't worry about it now," Sora told them, with a grin. "You don't have to make a decision right away—it can wait a week or so, or even longer I guess. No big deal."

"Just… let us know," Kairi said. She sighed, but put a smile on. "I guess I get if you don't wanna go back but… I just feel like we only got back together again. All of us."

"It's not like visiting each other will be hard, once we know where we're all staying," Riku said.

"Still…" Kairi sighed again, deeply now.

Namine got to her feet, and hugged Kairi.

"We'll let you know," she said. "Promise."

Kairi hugged her back.

"Alright…"

"See ya!" Sora said. Namine pulled away from Kairi to hug him, too.

Riku shifted a little in his seat. What was he supposed to do? Did they expect him to get all hug-y, too? Hugging wasn't exactly his thing…

But the look Kairi was giving him didn't leave much room for argument.

Riku sighed and got to his feet, letting Kairi hug him. It was strange, how short she was—or, rather, how tall _he _was. He didn't notice it with Namine, but she'd _always _been quite a bit shorter than him.

"Take care of yourself, alright?" Kairi said.

Riku nodded.

"I will."

"You better."

Kairi let go of him. Before Riku could fully recover, Sora'd wrapped him in a bear hug. At least Sora didn't linger long.

"See you, Riku," Sora laughed. He pulled out his star shard—or, the new one Joseph had given him—and linked his arm through Kairi's. "You ready?" he asked, looking her in the eye.

She nodded.

The star shard went off.

Riku sent a glance over at Namine. "So, uh, you… you really need to go talk to 7 again?"

"Not quite yet," Namine replied. "I think, actually, we need to discuss where we _are _planning on going, once we're done here—and we're not staying here. There's too many bad memories."

Riku shook his head, cutting her off before she got any further.

"I didn't plan on staying here," he said. "I didn't plan on staying here for as long as I did, honestly, but things happened…"

"But where are we heading, after this?"

"You're coming with me?" He tried not to sound surprise. That'd be the second time she'd mentioned _them _going somewhere. '_We' _–plural. _We, _as in the both of them. But that only made it more surprising. She really _did _intend to go with him.

"Depends on where you're going," she answered.

Oh. That put a slight damper on things.

"I don't… I don't know…" Riku sighed. He swallowed the disappointment in his voice. "I mean. I guess I don't have anywhere to go _besides _Destiny Islands…"

"There's Hollow Bastion."

Riku stared for a moment, surprised. Honestly, he was more surprised about the fact he hadn't _considered _it. Not as a long term thing.

"Aerith wouldn't turn you away and you know it," Namine said.

"No, I know that. I know…" Riku cleared his throat. "What about- what about you?"

"I don't think Aerith would turn me away, either."

"No! I mean-" Riku could feel himself blushing, and it was quite embarrassing. "I mean, are… are you- would you stay there too? Would you really?"

"It's not like I _can't,_" Namine replied. She shrugged. "I _want _to stay with you. Though I think Kairi'd be pretty upset… Not that it'd be hard to visit you. Either of you. Regardless of who I'd stay with."

It took Riku another second to remember that, back on the Islands, Namine'd been staying with Kairi. He supposed he did understand why Kairi'd be a little upset… But…

"I'd like you to stay with me," he mumbled.

"I think I'd like that, too," Namine assured him.

She stepped closer to him, so their toes were about touching—or, their shoes were. She reached up to brush her fingers across his cheek. A gentle touch. A lingering touch. He tried not to lean into it too much, not sure how much would be seen as needy. He wanted to just wrap his arms around her again, and bury his face in her hair. Never let her go. But they were trying to have a conversation…

"Oh no," Riku said, with a small gasp.

Namine sent a worried look up at him. She pulled her hand away from his face, and it fell to rest on his chest.

"I just realized—that sky you painted me. In my room. If we leave…"

"I'll paint you a new one," Namine said, without hesitation.

Riku smiled down at her. He tried to tease, but probably didn't succeed:

"I think Aerith might mind…"

"And she might not."

"Ehh…"

"Maybe one day we'll get our own—I mean. You'll get your own place." Namine's cheeks flared red. "Or- or something. I'll paint every room for you, then. If you'd like."

Riku was just as embarrassed about her slip up. Nearly suggesting they'd live together? In their _own _house? He wasn't sure if he should laugh at the idea or if he liked the sound of it. Either way, he didn't have the energy to attempt to tease her anymore.

"M-maybe just my room, if I get my own place," he told her. "A whole house seems like a lot of work."

Namine grinned. "Then maybe you- you could help me."

Riku grinned back.

"Why is it I always seem to walk in on something?"

Riku and Namine both jumped in shock, and pulled away from each other. It was Roxas who'd called at them—he was currently leaning with his elbows propped on the back of the couch, his chin in his hands.

"No, by all means," Roxas said. "Continue. I don't mind waiting a little longer."

Riku couldn't quite tell if he was being sarcastic or not. Regardless, Riku reached out and grabbed Namine's hand, clasping her fingers between his own. He didn't want to let go of her yet, even if he was only holding onto her with little touches.

"What do you want?" Namine asked Roxas. There was a sharpness in her voice, and it sounded sharper than normal. Was she angry? At what…? Being interrupted? That seemed a little strange, for her.

"Well, congrats on getting back to normal, first off," Roxas said. He flashed her a grin, but then his attention returned to Riku specifically. He didn't give Namine a chance to reply. "You got any idea when Axel's gonna be back, Reeks?"

Riku flushed with anger.

"Stop calling me that."

He could handle it when Kairi did it—she was only teasing. But he hardly knew Roxas, and the teasing didn't seem friendly, coming from him. It felt like it was meant to be mocking.

Namine snorted at it, though.

"Reeks?" she whispered.

Riku grimaced.

"Do you?" Roxas pressed. Riku swore he saw the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile.

"No, I don't know," Riku said. He swallowed. "I just know he's coming back."

"And not when or where?"

Riku shook his head. He'd already said that, hadn't he?

"Drat." Roxas sighed. "Well, I guess I better start looking for him."

"He might stop by the World that Never Was or Twilight Town or—" Namine began.

"But he could show up anywhere," Roxas interrupted. He didn't give her a chance to say anything more, he just waved at the two of them and walked off.

Namine tensed and took a step forward, but Riku grabbed her by the shoulder to hold her back.

"He's not worth it."

Namine didn't relax at all, but she also didn't move to continue after him.

"Here, come here," Riku whispered. He tugged on her, pulling her closer to him, backing up so they could sit on the couch. "Let's just—"

He gave up hope on moving her any further once she caught sight of 29. The Vexen looked rather distraught, walking forward only to remember something mid-step, turn around, only to disregard the thought and turn around again. He was mumbling to himself, too, and while Riku could make out the words, he didn't care to mull them over. He was a little more worried about Namine. Clearly, the Rewrite left its mark on her. Even if he'd wanted to, he wouldn't be able to move her now short of dragging her, and even then… she was too strong.

At least she relaxed considerably, now that Roxas was long out of sight and there was 29 to worry about. Riku didn't see _why _she insisted on calling out to 29—asking him what was wrong. Why couldn't they just sit back down and…

"I just don't think keeping Joseph here any longer is a good idea," 29 replied, distractedly, as he made his way towards them. "But… where would I take him instead? Where is there to go?"

Riku sighed and sat back down on the couch. Namine could talk to 29, if she so wanted. He didn't have the energy to.

"You could try Hollow Bastion," Namine suggested. She sent a glance over at Riku, frowning slightly when she saw he'd sat down. He just shrugged in answer to the assumed question, which only made her frown deeper. She turned back to 29.

"We know some people there," she began.

"I've been there," 29 told her, holding up a hand to interrupt her.

"Oh that's right. You have." Namine sent another look over at Riku.

Riku let out another sigh in response. "I think Leon mentioned they just finished a house, or were close to it," he said. He might as well offer the information, especially considering the look Namine was giving him. "You may be able to get dibs on it—even if you just ask and he should be able to work _something _out for you, just maybe not right away or anything."

"Don't let Aerith talk you into staying with her, though," Namine added, quickly. "I'm sure she'll try but there's not nearly enough room in that house, especially if me 'n Riku are going to stay there."

29 chuckled lightly. "Don't worry. I won't. And I won't let Joseph talk me into it, either."

There was a pause of a considerable amount. Namine cleared her throat to speak before 29 could turn and leave.

"Uhm… what about Toby?" she asked.

Riku's heart seized in his chest. She didn't know. 29's features all fell as the heartbreak washed over him, and stole the color from his face.

"He's, uh. He fried his data," Riku explained, so 29 wouldn't have to. He found himself getting to his feet, just so he wouldn't feel like a jerk, sitting while everyone else was standing. "He did some powerful attack to keep Saix away from him, I think Kairi said. It burned him from the inside out."

"How horrible!" Namine exclaimed. Her voice caught in her throat.

"There was no saving him," 29 added.

Riku felt that Namine had gathered that, but what was said was said, and correcting him seemed mean.

Namine nodded solemnly. Riku gripped her shoulder, steadying her. He sent a look at 29. It was strange seeing a Vexen so close to tears. The whole situation seemed to squeeze at Riku's chest.

29 cleared his throat.

"Well, I'll- I'll go ask Joseph about Hollow Bastion… though I'm sure he'll- he'll love the idea."

He nodded at them and gave a slight wave, excusing himself from the conversation.

Riku swallowed and looked at Namine again. He felt like he should do something to comfort her… but what? The news about Toby had tied his own stomach in knots, and Namine had certainly cared about the boy much more…

"I… I should go talk to 7," Namine said, slipping away from his grasp, and then out of his reach.

"Namine! Wait!"

She turned back to look at him. Unfortunately, from this distance, he couldn't tell whether or not she was crying. Riku cleared his throat.

"Can… can I come with?"

Namine stared at him a moment. Then she shrugged.

"You could. Or… or you could go gather our things."

Riku blinked.

"What things?"

"My sketchbook…" Namine said. He couldn't tell if that was an actual smile on her face, or a forced one. "My _other_ sketchbook. All my pencils. Any loose drawings. And then anything you want from _your _room—like that horde of munny."

"Oh yeah… I suppose I would want that. Not that I have any idea what I'll do with it…"

"I definitely want my sketchbooks."

"I wasn't going to forget those!"

Namine smiled for sure, now—at least it _looked _like a real smile—and headed off again. Riku waited a moment, but then went after her anyway, catching her by the arm.

"Wait," he said again, calmer this time. "About Toby…"

Just because _he _hadn't felt too upset about the boy's death didn't mean _she _wasn't going to.

She pushed him off. "I need to go talk to 7," was all she said, and then she was gone.

Riku let out a long breath. Alright. There was nothing he could do about this now. He should go get their things. Her sketchbooks… his munny… right.

He set off to get them.


	246. Epilogue: Sora's side

Hey, welcome to the last chapter! I'll have a Thanks/Acknowledge + Future Plans chapter up tomorrow or so - I don't have time to get it up plus this chapter today, but considering I forgot to put this chapter up yesterday, I didn't want to wait...

Anyway, enjoy the last chapter!

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><p>Honestly, it'd been a very long time since Mickey had visited Yen Sid twice within the same week. But this was <em>important. <em>And the last visit had been important, too.

Mickey didn't bother knocking on the door, or with any of the other formalities. He just barged in, in a slight panic.

"Someone told me Xehanort's coming back," he said, urgently. "Is that true?"

Yen Sid didn't even blink.

"Ah, so Xemnas _has _been defeated, then."

Mickey stared. He wasn't sure if he should be horrified or—well, in hindsight, he couldn't actually say he was surprised. He'd come to ask Yen Sid about this for a _reason, _after all. If Yen Sid knew, there was no reason to say he hadn't _known _for a while, now.

"You knew… So why didn't you tell me!?"

"It would've only discouraged you, to know the battle to be so long," Yen Sid explained, very calmly. He wasn't fazed by Mickey's frustration, but that wasn't exactly a surprise, either.

"But if I'd known—"

"You would have done what?" Yen Sid interrupted.

Mickey started to answer, but stopped before sound could leave his lips. There were many things he supposed he _could've _done, sure. He just wasn't cruel enough to actually go through with any of them. So he just sighed and hung his head.

"I dunno…"

Yen Sid said nothing.

Mickey took a deep breath, then looked up at him again. When he spoke, he was much calmer this time.

"…but he _is_ coming back?"

"Yes."

Mickey nodded. Grimaced. This was going to be a long battle, and he certainly wasn't looking forward to it.

"Any idea when he'll come back?"

"Unfortunately, that I do not know." Yen Sid sighed. He sent a brief look out his window, studying the stars. They obviously told him nothing, or nothing worthwhile, and he turned back to Mickey. "But be on your guard," he instructed. "Oh, and… perhaps Sora should be told."

"Right…" Mickey said, slowly. He nodded again, more determined this time. "I'll keep an eye out."

"And you _will _tell Sora?"

Mickey waved his hand slightly, dismissing that thought. "I'll tell him later. Wouldn't want to worry him now. He's been through a lot today. He deserves some rest."

Yen Sid smiled, ever so slightly.

"Now you see why I waited to tell you."

Mickey silently admitted that Yen Sid did have a point there, but decided against saying so aloud.

"Well, thank you," Mickey said, instead. He started for the door, to leave.

"Mickey, I would not be so disheartened," Yen Sid called after him. "If Xehanort is returning, then do you realize who will be returning with him?"

Mickey paused, eyes narrowing as he thought. If Xehanort was coming back… and he'd bring someone else with him… Mickey's mind flickered over a few enemies—no doubt they'd be back, actually, and that was only even more disheartening. Who could Yen Sid be referring to that would…

_"Of all names I expected to hear, that was not one of them."_

"Terra!"

Mickey felt a grin growing on his face. Terra was with Xehanort. _Somewhere. _He had to be. If Xehanort would come back, then there'd be no reason why Terra wouldn't, too.

But…

"Oh… can we save him though?"

Even if Terra _would _return with Xehanort, hidden somewhere at the back of Xehanort's heart, would it be possible to save him from Xehanort's grasp?

"I think… there is hope," Yen Sid replied, slowly.

The grin returned to Mickey's face.

"I've gotta go tell Aqua!"

**_xXx_**

The sand whipped up around their ankles with the displacement of the air caused by them appearing via star shard. It was night, and they stood on the edge of town. Part of this was just to get them out of the way, but the rest of it was so that Sora could see the ocean. The island wind and the smell of the sea about whacked Sora in the face.

He was home.

He took a few deep breaths, savoring the salty night air, and the sound of the waves against the ears. Honestly, he felt a little light headed. It'd been way too long.

"Mmmm…" Kairi inhaled deeply, too. She looked about as jittery as he felt. After a second, she crinkled her nose. "Ooh, something smells _gross._"

"The fish," Sora replied, without hesitation. The harbor wasn't that far from here, and the smell of fish usually carried far from the fishermen's boats.

"No, actually…" Kairi leaned in and sniffed him. "Yup. It's you."

Sora took a step or two away from her. "Kairi!"

"_Seriously_, Sora, when was the last time you took a shower?" Her tone said she was angry, but the glint in her eyes said she was teasing. She also couldn't _quite _keep her mouth turned down in a frown. The corners kept trying to turn up.

Sora thought about it, scratching the back of his head.

"Uhh…. I don't think… you want… to know…" he answered, slowly.

"Ugh! That's _disgusting!_" She shoved him. She was grinning.

"Weeellll," Sora replied, defensively, though he was grinning too. "Did you expect me to take a shower while I was staying with Maleficent? That'd be _weird!_"

"Oh. Oh good point." Kairi grimaced with sympathy. "That'd be weird. That'd… I... I don't blame you."

Sora smiled and nodded. His smile fell to a grimace as he remembered: "Oh, hang on! That's right, I did take a bath while I was staying with Mickey."

In all the excitement of everything else that had happened this past… day or so, he'd initially forgotten. Kairi raised her eyebrows and studied him for a long moment. Just as he expected to get some sort of teasing remark about forgetting or clearly not washing well, she said very plainly:

"You still stink."

Sora threw his hands out in front of him, exasperated. After all the fighting he'd been doing, it wasn't _exactly _a surprise he smelled disgusting. He _felt _pretty gross. Before he could tell Kairi that, she broke out into a grin and took his hands in her own. She bounced up and down a little with excitement, and _good gravy _was she taller than him? Maybe it was just because she was jumping, but Sora swore he had to look _up _a little to meet her eyes.

"You wanna swim?" she asked, pulling him down towards the water.

"I… I dunno, Kai—"

"Sora!" She dropped his hands in frustration—threw them down, actually. "Since when have you ever turned down _swimming!_"

"It's getting dark," Sora replied. "We should probably get heading home."

"Like your parents are gonna care if you're missing another hour or two? You've already been missing for six months! They'll be happy to see you regardless."

She had a point there. But…

"I—" he began.

"Sora, when was the last time you went swimming?" Kairi put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows.

Sora shrugged. "I don't remember."

"Great!" Kairi broke into a grin. "Then this is the _perfect _time!"

"Kairi—"

"I will _shove _you into the ocean if I have to."

Sora rolled his head back and groaned with frustration. "Oh my gosh, _fine. _Yeah. We can swim."

Kairi beamed at him, and bent down to take off her shoes.

"Last one to the water is a rotten egg!" she cried.

Sora laughed and followed after her.

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><p><strong>THE END<strong>


	247. Thanks and Future Plans

Welcome to the Thanks/Acknowledgements + Future Plans chapter. "I thought you wouldn't have this up until tomorrow?" I ended up having more time than I initially anticipated to have today, and this didn't take as long as I thought it would.

Let's just cut right into it:

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><p><strong>The Dead Inside Package!<strong>

Do you like extra content? Behind the scenes notes? Embarrassingly old original drafts? I know I do! (Well, okay, embarrassingly old original drafts aside.) As a celebration for finishing Dead Inside, plus because I love it when other projects have this sort of thing, I am _very _proud to introduce the Dead Inside Package.

"What's the Dead Inside Package?" you ask? Well, it's 500+ pages (around 200 documents) of extra content, including: scrapped things, original drafts, scenes that are from the Initial Draft of Dead Inside, along with brainstorms and plotting. And more. A lot more.

Full details + download link can be found on my profile.

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><p><strong>Future Plans<strong>

"What are you going to do now that you've finished?" I'M GOING TO DISNEY WO—actually just kidding I'm going to write another three fics. (Though me and a friend _maybe _had plans to go to Disney World… how I'm paying for it is a mystery though.)

Here's the write up of things you can expect next - though you can also find an Update Log on the FtPverse blogspot:

- **The beginning of Book 5 aka All that Remains!**

There's a sequence towards the beginning that coincides with magik's latest fic, and it's actually finished! I'm already uploading it too - it's called "All that Remains". Shout out to lordibau for reminding me to put a notice up on this chapter to let people know!

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- **Various scenes throughout the series that will be rewritten/edited**

These are actually all done!

Number 1 was ch87 of Dead Inside—the Kairi and her dad conversation. That has already been rewritten, and you can read the updated version in ch87, or the original draft in ASAS.

Number 2 on this list was the Riku vs Maleficent battle from Falling to Pieces, which is also in ASAS (ch73)

Number 3 is a rewritten version of the Riku vs Larxene battle from the Truth Hurts, edited to touch on Riku's fear of lightning/Larxene, at least a little. It can be found in TTH ch15.

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- **The Nothing's Fair Rewrite!**

I am doing this, and it is well underway by now!

If you somehow don't know why I'm rewriting Nothing's Fair by now, it comes down to two simple reasons:

1) It's the source of most of my continuity errors, and fixing it up means that there's a lot _less _Rebellion stuff standing on shaky ground.

2) It's hecka short, meaning rewriting it shouldn't take _too _long. It may still take a year or so, but I don't _anticipate _it taking any longer than that. Hopefully.

And yes, I'm well aware of continuity errors in the rest of the series, but I don't want to rewrite both the Truth Hurts and Falling to Pieces. Why? See reason #2 as to why I'm rewriting Nothing's Fair. Honestly, if Nothing's Fair wasn't as short as it is, I would leave it alone and say "to hell with it."

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- **After that it's back to All that Remains and I'll tackle everything that _happens _after the sequence that coincides with magik's universe**

If you're wondering about book 4.5, well, I scrapped it. I realized that while I did have plot for book 5, it was a little shaky and pretty lacking in the middle, so tacking the ending onto everything I had planned for book 4.5 seemed like the much better idea.

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- **Book 6?**

I have vague plans for an incredibly self-indulgent book 6 but whether or not I write it depends on whether or not I'm still in the mood to three years from now. Maybe I will be. Maybe I won't be. We'll find out when we get there.

(This is also a completely different book 6 than the one I may have mentioned vaguely like two years ago. The Original Book 6 was set 15 years in the future and focused on Riku and Namine's daughter and… well it's now been dubbed "the Ruecas au" and has its own tag on my tumblr. But it's been scrapped and I am referring to a completely brand new book 6.)

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><p><strong>ThanksAcknoweldgements**

First off, thanks to The Infiniator, for giving me words of encouragement when I needed them most.

And thanks to Shadowclaw98 and lordibau for your kind reviews on chapter 231. That chapter, and Shad's arc as a whole, mean _so so much _to me and I'd fully expected to get hate for it. I'd made peace with getting hate for it, in fact, so it was a _surprise_ when I got kind reviews on the chapter instead.

So… thank you. Just, thank you. I don't think I can adequately express how much this means to me without blabbering so I'll just leave it at that.

Thank you.

Also a vague thank you to the youtube series Stupid Mario Brothers by richalverez because it probably inspired me to do a lot of things I did with Shad.

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Now for the big thank yous:

**Flightfoot(Keyseeker):** thanks for sticking with me from the beginning, even if you haven't kept up lately. Other readers better thank them, too—If it weren't for Flightfoot, I doubt I would've made it past the Truth Hurts.

Having a reviewer, a regular reviewer, invested and actively interested in my work was a push I needed not to drop it. Thank you. I have no idea where you are now, but I hope it's wonderful, because you deserve it.

**KKBeckett:** I'll thank you first for being a wonderful beta, and thank you second for the wonderful commentary. Your reviews were some of the ones I looked forward to seeing the most. And even though you stopped reviewing, I still have to thank you for being a wonderful, _wonderful _beta and for sticking with me for so, _so _long.

Thank you so much for that, and thank you so much for _still _wanting to stick around.

(You were also a huge supporter of Shad, and while he won't thank you for that, I will. That goes to the rest of you Shad supporters, too. Thanks.)

**Cookie**, perhaps better known as C00K53Y: for being a wonderful friend and brainstorm partner. Readers can thank him for quite a bit of Dead Inside—especially for Roxas's Rebirth (ch142-156).

I wish you great luck on your future, your projects, and your life in general.

**(Nicole)Peach**: You admittedly contributed little to the actual _writing _of Dead Inside, but I still thank you greatly and consider you a wonderful friend. Thanks for reviewing and sticking with me. I hope we stay in touch, though I don't see why we wouldn't.

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**And finally, a few things I'm grateful for:**

All the wonderful people I've met because of Dead Inside and the series as a whole. All the wonderful reviews I've gotten. Long discussions with my readers about my plot and my characters and KH in general.

The experience of writing, purely just as an experience, but also as a learning experience. I've grown so much as writer and it's all been through Dead Inside.

The fact Dead Inside exists in general. I won't burden you with the full reason why Dead Inside means so much to me, but it truly does mean a lot to me. It's a pity its ending doesn't come as a relief, exactly, but I'm also glad it isn't bittersweet, either. Just because Dead Inside is finished doesn't mean FtPverse as a whole is, and doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing any time soon.

I'm really am so glad for all of this—you readers, and Dead Inside as a whole. There are parts I'd rather not remember, yeah, but there is so much about all of this that I'd never want to forget. Thank you for reading.


	248. psst

**AN / just letting everyone who may have missed it know that book 5 aka All that Remains has started posting ayyy**


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